Sumo Do, Sumo Don't (1992) - full transcript

Yet another tradition in the tradition of "ragtag misfits" in Japanese comedy...Sumo Do, Sumo Don't tells the story of a university sumo club in Japan. In today's Japan, the younger ...

What's all this?

Get with it!

It's not our choice
to lay around like this.

It's the coach
he insists we take it easy.

Maybe he thinks it's pointless
to train you.

Get up, Haruo.

Lunch, boys. Masako's special feast.

Where's Tanaka?

He snuck earlier.

I don't want to be a burden.

I need to train.

Remember once I said

power doesn't always win in sumo.

But bulk is a definite factor.

A kilo in weight
is a kilo in strength.

That's sumo.

I know you all didn't want to get fat.

So I brought you here.

It's cool, with clean air

all you can possibly eat
and no training.

You'll soon put on 5-6 kg.

Earlier you were over-training.

Relax and build your strength.

It's not good to over-train.

Everyone's depressed to see
Hokuto guys training.

The training in Tokyo seems wasted.

We were just getting confident.

I want to be strong.

You're like dead fish!

No more food here for you boys.

It was delicious.

You're all out of condition.

You need competition?

The Hokuto team are here.

Are you kidding?

No, I'm not.

You've built your strength up.

Now get confident.

You're enthusiastic.

It doesn't become you.

Shut up.

I'm frightened.

You're keen.

Here they come.

Hokuto refused my offer.

They don't like your attitude.

So I asked the local schoolboy's club.

Damn Hokuto!

Train with the kids.

This is pathetic.

Regard us with favor!

Shall we start with Smiley?

Come together!


It wasn't magic.

When you pushed,
you put the strain on your legs.

You lifted your leg.

And he used his right hand
on your left leg

and your momentum to flip you over.

What was that technique?

Inside leg-trip.

Power doesn't always win in sumo.

Remember that, Smiley.

As Jean Cocteau said

The balance in sumo is miraculous.

In sumo upsetting
your opponents balance is all.

Right, Tanaka.


Damn it!


Yoshiwara American Cheergirls.

Even kids frighten him.


A win!

Once more!

What's with him?

I'm sorry.

Are you alright?

He's crazy!

Haruo, come here.

Your spirit is admirable.

But your power
doesn't match your spirit.

Do as I tell you.

I did it.

The Tricky Cat.

Startle him with a sharp clap.

They always flinch.

Even a grand champion lost when

someone used it on him.

What was that?

Special technique.

He combined it with a head attack.

That's my speciality.

Along with my fabled inside leg-trip.

Don't lift your legs.

Remember the basics and you'll win.

Don't go easy because they're kids.

You're scared of boys?

Take these off and you won't be.

Close your eyes.

Grab his sash!

Lower your head.

Don't try to throw him.
You'll lose your balance.

He did it! He did it!

Look at the kid-killer champs

They could win
the little boy's league.

They're just bullies.

This is a ''comeback?''

Give sumo some honor!

What the hell!

Stop it - please!

Don't insult sumo!

One month to the tournament.

Your hell begins today.

But don't be afraid.

You have the will to win.

Together we'll restore
the honor of Kyoritsu sumo.

When pushed - push! Pulled - push!

Sumo is all pushing.

Don't lift your legs!


Don't look away.

Close your eyes instead.

East Japan Student's Sumo Tournament

What's with the mawashi?

A present from the TV station.

But say they're from the old boys.

Sorry about the flashy mawashi.

Any color is allowable.

Whose idea?

Skinny. The director.

Oh, him.

What's with the mawashi?

Shame upon shame.

Hello everyone.

A pretty little bum.

There's no problem with
the colored mawashi.

But Smiley, the tights have to go.

No exceptions for foreign customs.

Would you mind?

I can't do it.

Why not?

From the east
Honjitsu Medical University.

From the west, Kyoritsu University.

If they beat you, you're finished.

Let's go!

When summer comes to the ringside

The sun shines on all within

Ain't it great!

Kyoritsu, Kyoritsu, Kyoritsu, boys!

So dandy, so dashing in
their colorful jockstraps

Victory to Kyoritsu!

What's that?

It's spelt wrong.

Can't you even spell?

It's a mistake!

No, it's a joke!

Kids today haven't got a clue.

From the east, Tadokoro.

From the west, Yamamoto.

Go, go, Haruo!

Why is Haruo first up?

He's enthusiastic.

I don't know why

but lately he's been very agitated.

West wins!

A win by leg-sweep.

Yamamoto of the west by a leg-sweep.

Do it, Tanaka!

Do your best!

Go, go, Tanaka!

A win!

He stepped out!

Step out!

A win to the west.

Unintentional step-out.

That's great.

Close your eyes if you're afraid.

Attack with your head.

Just try it.

From the east, Ashitsuka.

From the west, Smiley.

East wins.

East wins by default.

From the east, Nonaka.

From the west, Aoki.

Brace up, Aoki!

Relax, Aoki!

I hope he'll be alright.

The pressure is off him now.

Go, go, Aoki!


Yoshiwara American Cheergirl.

A win!

From the east, Hashi.

From the west, Yamamoto.

Is Shuhei team captain?

Yes, he's got the spirit.

A win!

We won!

A great win!

Kyoritsu's first win!

It's getting interesting.

East wins by default.

Bow. East wins by default.

One more round and we win.

We can do it.

Remember your training.

Be confident.

You can win it today.

On the east, Hokuto Gakuin University.

On the west, Kyoritsu University.


From the east, Motohashi.

From the west, Yamamoto.

He's broken it!

Fight on!

A win!

East wins.

From the east, Akitayama.

From the west, Tanaka.

Don't be afraid!

There goes the title.

East wins.

From the east, Imai.

From the west, Smiley.


East wi...

I'll fight.


A win!

West wins.

From the east, Sugimoto.

From the east, Aoki.

Go Aoki!

Just relax!

We were so close.

Not the shits again!

A win!

He did it!

His first win!

Aoki did it!


West wins.

Collapse in mid-fight.

Hopeless till the very end!

From the east, Kurataka.

From the west, Yamamoto.

Finish them off!

Go back!

Calm down!

A tactic?




He won!

West wins.

We won?

Did we?

So what!

The 40th, East Japan
Student's Sumo Tournament

Third division has been won by the

Kyoritsu University Sumo Club!

How's Haruo?

The break is not so bad
but he's very upset.

They'll keep him in overnight.

So there goes tomorrow's contest.


Divisional promotion bouts.

Winners of the 3rd Division
get a chance to

advance to the 2nd Division.

Yes, that's right.

I'll refuse the offer.

Shuhei sprained his ankle.

Haruo's arm is broken.

They'll field 7 men.

Three is not a majority.

Impossible to win.

I'll fight!

You can't, you're a woman.

I want revenge for Haruo.

But women aren't even allowed
in the ring.

It's not even funny.

I can enter.

I'm not kidding, I'm serious!

Alongside you all.

In place of Haruo!

Please, let me.


She'll have to go naked.

So what? She's a club member, too.

I'll join in, too.

You don't mind?

Good, that makes six.

It may bring shame on you
but humor us.

You're the coach. It's your decision.

Are you serious?

If they know you're a woman,

you'll be barred.

You'll be naked except for a sash.

I'll fight.

win, win! Daitoa will win!

If we fall to 3rd Division
we'll never get back up!

They're on a run.

Don't let them fool you.

If you let these wimps beat ya,
I'll kill ya!

Fight to the death!

What's wrong?

Where's Masako?

She was gone this morning.

And Kawamura?

Same thing.

From the east, Nogami.

From the west, Mamiya.


Masako ! (female name)

I'm so sorry.

Masao ! (male name)

Masao !

We won't fail!

From the east, Kitahara.

From the west, Smiley.


From the east, Higashiyama.

From the west, Tanaka.

Stop that!

Freedom of religion!

Belly him out!

A win!

God, oh god, I won.

You won! All by yourself!

Leave the rest to me.

A win!

He did an inside leg trip!

Diarrhea or not, a win's a win!

Show some spirit!

He's strong.

Far stronger than you.

So that's your opening.

He expects to win.

He'll try for a slap-down.

He won't want to get in close.

Hang on to him and don't let go.

I didn't want to lecture you.

But you have a real chance.

Under no circumstances
let go of his sash.

Anyway, I'm satisfied
to have come this far.

The thing is, will you be satisfied?

From the east, Nakada.

From the west, Yamamoto.

Do your best.


The players are pink giants.

As unique as the frescoes
from a famous cathedral

They come together in equilibrium,

their legs intertwined

their fingers grasping
each other's sash.

And the fringe standing erect.

Muscles flexing.

Legs rooted to the earth.

Blood coursing through their veins.

And the ring is all a pastel of pink.

A win!

Thank you, Smiley.

I'll be back in two years.

Thanks for the Japanese spirit.

You're wrong, Smiley.

It's one for all and all for one.

I'll see you two in London.

Masako's dad is in London.

She's going there soon.

She asked me to go, too.

I've always wanted to study abroad.

Masako Mamiya.

Farewell, Aoki.

Let's toast.

Good work, Aoki.

By the way,

Tanaka will turn professional.

I made the introduction.

We're sorry to lose him for next year.

In the last fight God spoke to me.

This is only way for you.

Your cheers made me so happy.

I'm so glad I started sumo.

''Tomio Aoki.''

May I ask a question?

Did you really ask to fight Hokuto
at summer training?

I just wondered.

Maybe you planned
those kids all along.

I didn't plan the all-out brawl.

I knew it!

I thought Haruo
and Tanaka would stay on.

Next year we start from zero again.

''Shuhei Yamamoto.''

What are you doing?

I'm considering staying another year.

I don't want the club to finish.

And your job?

No more easy roads for me.

Will you teach me stamping?

Finally I get to stamp my feet.