Strawberry Flavored Plastic (2018) - full transcript

Help!

Help!

My entire life,

I've related my existence
to material things.

Not because I value them

or that I value myself
for that matter,

but that's just how I'm wired.

You know, I always wanted a
car from the year I was born.

Felt like it linked me
to an unalterable past

as I pushed forward ceaselessly

to an unavoidably
indeterminate future.



That car, 1985
Buick Regal Sedan.

But Bella died, that's
what I named her.

So, I introduce you to Bronson,

2005 Pontiac Grand Prix,

named after the criminal,
not the actor.

No, no, no, no,

it's not being materialistic.

You see, I see signs
where there aren't any,

like the drawings I did
as a child, for example.

In them, I see premonitions,
that's why I make them.

It helps me express myself.

But more importantly,
it helps me,

it helps me understand myself.

Every time I get
behind the wheel,



I don't know if it'll be
end of the line for Bronson,

if I'll even get away.

I just leave it to
the Law of Odds now,

'cause eventually all things,

they must fail.

This engine, it's a
kin to my heartbeat.

Okay, where's he weave from?

This is Moe, this is Moe.

We were current, we have
no idea where he's going.

His arm was stuck in the door,

and I'm afraid they
broke into our room.

They're doing CPR on him

and you've got to talk to me,

you have got to talk to me.

It's fascinating,

because morals, they
evolve, it's an evolution.

The whole idea of a code of
ethics, it's a living document,

one that's created by men
and ordained by some deity.

But it's a breathing set of
guidelines and it changes.

Always has changed, always will.

And these breathing set of
guidelines are subjective,

and the cause of all of
human history's wars.

One group doesn't approve of
another group, and then boom!

And you can analyze this
on micro or macro levels,

it's always the same,
disagreement ensues.

So by nature of that
law, by that credo,

I'm a law breaker.

In the eyes of God or most
people's gods, I'm a sinner.

You see, when I
look in the mirror,

or as you, you look at
me right here right now,

as this camera captures
me through it's lens,

what does it see?

It sees a man.

I'm merely a man, I'm man.

Considering, it was forbidden
and frowned upon 50 years ago.

Women's rights,

gay rights, racial inequality,

what did people
have to say then?

Or how about thousands
of years of civility

with one religion trying
to eradicate another

in the name of their god?

I'm not comparing
myself to any of that,

I'm flat out stating that
these moral evaluations,

they change year to
year, day to day.

These are all examples
that these interpretations,

they change.

So as a result, I am
you and you are me,

historically speaking.

I'm a product, I'm a
result, I'm change.

I'm intrigued by
that word, change.

Because people throw it around,

but not all change
is good, is it?

Is there a sense of danger

because of the way that...

Well danger, danger is just
the anticipation of fear.

You see, fear is a
product of the mind,

it's a discipline,

a self-survival technique.

People, they fear
me, I know that.

I see it in their eyes,
I see it in their faces.

As a result, I am the danger
and they are the fear.

Like evil, on the other hand,

it comes in many forms.

It paints with many
different brushes.

Mine happens to be
a shattered glass

or a knife the size
of your forearm.

And I have a tendency to
paint in broad strokes.

That's fairly straightforward.

We can do anywhere between
two to five jobs a month,

depending on the job.

Other than that, it's
the same rigamarole,

day in and day out, it just
varies locations, of course.

You've worked with this company

- for six years?
- 10,

it'll be 10 in September.

In this shape, you can't.

It's a lot of
physicality, isn't it?

You must get pretty shot
doing this everyday.

You get accustomed to it.

Look, I didn't want a job that
I have to take home with me.

Stress and sweating it out
on my own time, no thanks.

Here, I work five days
a week, 40 hours a week.

I get paid for what I'm doing,

and then the rest of
the time is mine.

I think people only
give up too much

of their lives towards something

that's really only
designed to sustain.

What if they like what
they do professionally?

I've conceived that.

But it's rare.

It's like digging for a
grave and finding treasure,

it's not happening.

Well, when we began
principle photography

in November of the prior year,

and so, this was about
six months after

I plucked Ellis out of N.Y.U.
Cinematography Program.

It was under the guise of,

and with the explicit
understanding

that Noel had served nine
years of a 16-year term

at Sing Sing Federal
Penitentiary

for a lust-related
double murder,

the crime of passion stuff.

Because of good behavior

and increasingly positive
psychological evaluations,

he was released in 2015.

After a month of pre-production
and two weeks of filming,

Ellis embarked on
shamefully-belated research,

and his procrastinated
due diligence revealed

that Noel had never
been at Sing Sing

or any prison.

He'd never been caught,

and there was no
crime of passion.

This was a string of murders.

He was a rouse.

So, we aired it out with Noel,

who felt just dreadful

for the misinformation.

And Ellis and I were left
with a substantial moral,

ethical and a legal conundrum.

We made our choice.

So, it's fairly
simple stuff, you see.

Yes, no, I get it now.

We want to use these
whenever you want.

Any more batteries, need
more micro SD cards,

anything, don't hesitate
and we'll take care of it.

And when the card is full,

- do I drop them off with you?
- Yeah, yeah,

that's fine, that's
totally fine.

And you have five backup
mini cards right here

in case you need them.

Just be careful not to
shoot over anything.

Once one card is full,

just pop it out and
put in a clean one.

And these ones in the car,

- they the same as before?
- Yep.

Just turn them on
when you want to,

and off when you
don't need them.

Oh, and obviously, leave
the backup hard drive safe

at your apartment.

That's a just-in-case maneuver,

we're mildly neurotic.

And we'll update
that every few days,

so you will be the proud owner

of every single item
we shoot for this film.

You guys really want the
full Noel experience, huh?

We do.

We also have this mount for you.

The body mount, in that you
can detach the camera to it,

and then you won't have
to use your hands.

This sort of takes
me back a little.

Takes you back?

Yeah, except when
I was a young man

and things became
difficult at home,

I immersed myself into cinema,

the films of the 40s
and 50s in particular.

I really loved
their way of life,

their manner of speech,
everything really.

As a by-product, I became
interested in editing.

Depending on how you
edit a narrative,

you really can manipulate
different points of views.

But, I never really got
to try my hand at it,

- so.
- Really, how interesting.

We had no idea.

I recently bought a MacBook

for the purpose of playing
with the iMovie application.

But it's more fun this way to
get the hands-on experience.

So, any musings, any thoughts,
anything you can think of,

we just don't want
to miss anything

when we're not around.

This now is a part of it then?

Anything can be.

Well, it depends later
on in the acting process.

Right, editing.

Please pay heavy
focus when you get...

Oh, the unscratchable itch.

Is that right?

Is that what you call it?

Yes, I think it helps
clarify something

that's difficult to describe.

Noel, may I ask

how many people know
about your activities?

Just you two gentlemen.

Well, what makes you trust us?

I mean, that's if
you do, of course.

Trust you as far as I need to.

So far, anyway.

Which may or may not
be a good thing.

Meaning perhaps,

part of you wants to be caught,

or at least not have
such a heavy burden

of secret on your shoulders.

The difficulty in discussing
the trusting of others

is one first has to
trust themselves.

You wouldn't say
you trust yourself?

Would you?

No, I don't mind you asking.

I've been single for
a few years now.

When was your last
significant relationship?

There was only one.

Mikayla, we were together
for about three years.

What happened?

I've been asking myself

that same question
for seven years now.

We drifted apart is
what really happened.

Chalk it up to two people

whose lives were
drastically heading

into different direction.

I had just started my job
that I currently have.

I was happy.

But she had grander plans,
she wanted to pursue them.

- Did things end amiably?
- Sure.

They were more somber,

melancholic as opposed
to anything resentful.

I loved her more than
anything in the entire world.

From the first day
that we stared dating,

I knew I would marry her,

and then I didn't get to.

She was my best friend,
she was my soulmate.

When things ended, it
was wholly devastating,

it was catastrophic.

But not once did I
ever get angry at her.

And I keep her here, always.

Have you dated anyone since?

No, there's no point.

What role did your proclivities

- play in your relationship?
- None.

How is that possible?

She was unaware.

I made sure that it
remained that way.

But how did it affect you

in so much as your
relationship, I mean?

I'm so sorry guys,

but the battery's
about to run out.

Just keep it going, Ellis.

Sorry Noel, please care on.

It didn't.

To be able to do what I do,

to be able to remain at
large for as long I have,

one has to be intensely
good at compartmentalizing.

You have to be able to switch

from one facet of
your life to another,

treat them as separate lives.

You have to make that
distinction in your mind.

This serves the primary purpose
of not losing your mind,

and the secondary purpose
of not getting caught.

Good, there, I've been
itching to ask that of you.

You said that you killed
your first victim in 2002

when you were only 17.

How have you remained at large?

Compartmentalization,

and the nature of
random selection.

Have you ever killed
somebody you knew?

No, no that's now how I work,

it's not how I'm wired.

That's not part of
the outlet for me.

Besides, that would
lead to apprehension

which would imply motive.

You mean being caught,

- obviously.
- Yes, exactly.

Can you elaborate

on the idea of
compartmentalization

and random selection,
as you put it?

Well, the first is easy.

Like I said, it's about
not losing your mind

- and not getting caught.
- Oh, sorry, guys,

Not to cut you off,

but as a journalist
and a storyteller,

I must ask this question.

You don't consider
yourself insane?

No.

Psychopaths are not
cognizant enough

to know that they
are psychopaths.

But I am fully
self-aware to know

that I am not a psychopath.

A sociopath then.

Yes, of course.

It is impulse.

It's amazing to me

how well you seem
to know yourself,

and how comfortable
you are with it.

It's interesting, isn't it?

The foggy area
between who you are

and who you perceive yourself
to be, introspectively.

See, if you were to look
into a mirror right now,

you wouldn't see yourself.

You would see an abstraction,

an informed reflection.

Perhaps an alienated one,
but certainly an altered one.

Do you think you know yourself?

Yeah, I'd like to think so.

That changes.

- Possibly.
- Definitely.

Please continue.

If you can successfully
compartmentalize your life,

then nothing leaks.

'Cause I would come home,

and Mikayla, she
wouldn't see anything.

She wouldn't see it on my face,
she couldn't smell anything.

I wouldn't be shaky
or concerned.

Everything that I had done
would be locked tightly

in a secret box of history,

and I could keep my past
there when I wanted to.

What stops you when
your impulse takes over

from killing a loved
one, let's say?

Because I love them.

I'm not an insane man.

You have to understand
there was no love

in my house after Ethan died.

So love is very important to me.

I wouldn't kill someone I loved

for the most obvious of reasons.

What do you think
Mikayla would have said

if she ever found out?

I don't know.

I take solace in not knowing.

We used to sing
this song together.

♪ You say jump ♪

♪ I say how high ♪

- Do you know it?
- Yeah.

But we use to change
the words, though.

We used to say.

♪ You say jump ♪

♪ I say what roof ♪

She used to always
laugh at that.

Random...

And what about you?

I'm failed potentially.

Well, we certainly didn't
rush into the decision

to go on this journey
to make this film,

but we're tired of
waiting for validation

from an uncaring and a
very difficult industry.

I think you made the right
choice, it's a bold move.

Thank you.

I think this is a deli here.

I'm gonna go grab
something to drink,

- my throat's parched.
- Salty chips?

Salty chips to you, too.

Gentlemen, would you
guys like anything?

- No, no thank you.
- Nah, I'm good,

- thank you.
- You sure?

- Mm-hm.
- Thanks.

Alright, I'll be
back in just a moment.

We got to get an agent.

Maybe this will get us one?

Yeah, maybe.

I know, I know we do.

But as you well know,
it's not like applying

- for a credit card.
- Right.

By the way, how's Lana taking

- everything?
- Impatient.

Impatiently, she's
getting fed up.

I get it.

Well, maybe if you take
a different approach,

that might be able to.

Oh fuck, fuck!

- Oh, oh no.
- Oh shit.

- Shit.
- Wait, what are you doing?

We can't leave him here.

- We're not gonna be,
- He's gonna get caught!

We can't stay here.

We're not gonna be an
accessory to murder!

Oh fuck, fuck,

- I don't know.
- Go, go, go.

I don't know, no!

- The dock!
- Oh fuck!

Oh fuck, go, go, go!

I just wanted a Gatorade.

- Ready?
- Yeah, I'm rolling.

So, this just came
in a few minutes ago.

2:37 a.m.

This is a voicemail from Noel.

Hello, Errol.

You saw that, I was awkward.

Look, I understand that wasn't
part of the deal, really.

And I didn't mean to implicate

or involve you guys in any way,

and I hope you're not sore.

Compulsion and the itch

are very real and
uncontrollable.

Maybe it's good you got a
first-hand look for yourselves.

No hard feelings, I hope.

And, alright.

Loretta does not dislike,
she likes you just fine.

Honey, she's about as fond of me

as she is of a wasp sting.

No, not true,

she's just skeptical
of you, that's all.

Skeptical?

Weary, I meant to say,

- "Weary."
- Yeah maybe,

but you didn't.

Skeptical.

Weary.

How is weary any better?

Aren't we supposed to be
celebrating Brian's birthday?

Shut your trap, Ellis.

You said you wanted to be here,

and we're all be thrilled
that you recorded this

when we see this little
guy's face light up

when he sees the cracklers.

What time are you
guys filming tomorrow?

Um...

Are you filming tomorrow?

At some point, I think.

Well, are you still
meeting me for lunch?

Because I have a showing

that I have to be at in
Port Chester around 1:15.

Yeah, yeah that's fine.

- I can do that.
- Yeah?

Hello, Errol.

- Hello.
- Noel.

This is my wife, Lana.

- Nice to meet you.
- And my son, Brian,

you want to come meet Brian?

- I was hoping...
- Come here, come here.

Brian, come here.

Do you want to meet
my friend, Noel?

Come here, big guy.

This is Noel, and this Brian.

Want to go say, "Hi," to mommy?

Go get mommy, okay?

Join us, come here.

Errol, may I speak

to you for just a
moment, please?

Listen, frankly, I'm
a bit embarrassed

about what occurred last night.

Noel, don't be, please.

I appreciate that.

I want to make sure you know

that I respect the
project immensely,

and I wouldn't want to do
anything to put you gentlemen

in any sort of compromising...

We are absolutely aware of that,

and we thank you for it, really.

Okay, thank you.

Want to come?

Sure.

I'm not freaking
out, I am not, okay?

I am merely concerned,

- and rightfully so.
- I agree

that you are right
to be surprised.

Oh, thank you.

Babe, I'm not fighting
with you on that,

but you have nothing to
be concerned about, okay?

So can we please
have this dialog

- when we get home privately?
- No, Errol,

let's not, because I don't
want a drug-addled man

around our child, okay?

So we're gonna talk
about it right now.

What in the hell are
you talking about?

He's an ex-drug addict,

he's in recovery and he's
clean right now, alright?

Like always.

I don't even know why
this is an argument.

Like, it blows my mind.

It blows my mind

that this scenario right
now is okay with you.

What, are you joking with me?

First of all, how did he
even know where we were?

Because I told him.

- You told him.
- Yes, Lana,

as in conversation.

I mean, I didn't invite him.

Look, do you just wanna take him

- and go?
- No, we came

- all the way down here.
- It's like

- 15 minutes by car.
- I don't want this day ruined

for our son, okay?

Okay.

What happened?

Nothing, she's just pissed.

Why, not buying the drug addict?

No, she just doesn't
want him around Brian.

She totally buys it,
that's the problem.

She's just nervous.

Let's go have some fun, huh?

I got a
phone call today from Mikayla.

I haven't seen her for at
least a couple of years.

I ran into her in town and,

she has a child.

She had my daughter.

I had a little girl.

I don't know why she told
me now if she didn't then.

Her name is Gabriella.

That was always what I
wanted to name a baby girl

if we ever had kids.

She told me she found
out she was carrying

after we broke up,

and I really,

I really don't know.

She just never did.

I guess she didn't
have it in her.

Alright,

up early, I'll see
you boys Thursday.

Be careful.

Be careful, I'm unfit.

I'm unsound.

Noel, Noel what is
it, what happened?

You can't expect

to stand on the
shoulders of the devil

and walk away and escape.

I'm unfit.

- I'm unsound.
- What do you mean?

Look, it's okay.

And willing participate
in this life for now.

It's become something
else entirely.

I'm unsolved, Errol, I'm unfit.

Do you want to see someone?

Speak with somebody, Noel.

I got to go.

Noel, Noel.

If you ever want to take
a good look at yourself,

don't stop in the mirror.

Take my word for it.

I'm gonna need a break,
boys, I can't keep going.

Yeah sure, we can
resume after lunch,

- it's okay.
- Live longer than that!

We don't want to wait
too long, Noel, Noel.

Fuck!

So relentless, what.

I mean, we got to get him out.

First and foremost,

we have no legally binding
agreement with him.

So we have,

we got us virtually nothing

we can do, well, if we wait,

- then...
- Obviously,

we don't have a legally binding
contract with him, Ellis.

Don't get snippy, man.

All I'm saying is that without,

it'd be in this sort of corner.

It largely becomes
about the journey,

and the adventure for
where is this gonna end.

Alright.

If we wait it out, and
we obviously have to,

or if we decided to,

it does help change
the narrative.

So you're saying that
this is a good thing

that this happened?

No, not at all,
it's a silver lining.

Many of them, actually.

Let me put it this way,

as filmmakers, we
are always trying

to shape up the
narrative, right?

I mean, that's what we do,

- that's our job.
- Yep.

But it's about letting
the narrative shape us.

And most crucially, Noel.

It's one hell of a
twist with Gabriella.

Oh absolutely, absolutely.

I mean, maybe he just
needs some space?

Maybe we do too, I don't know.

I don't know, but
let's roll with it.

How come we never
talked about it?

About what?

The other night.

The deli.

I don't know.

Because I guess it was...

I mean, it...

Why do we have to talk about it?

It was this horrible and
bizarre thing that happened.

And we're still here.

With documentaries.

It's just part of life,

it can be a horror show.

I know,

but we're both individually

and collectively ignore the fact

that there's not coming
to terms with it yet.

Do you feel guilty?

Guilty, why?

Okay, so, Noel has
an outburst, right?

And he cannot control
himself for a few seconds.

Isn't that stain
that's just gonna get

with someone like him?

It was different, wasn't it?

Which specifically
permit me to point out that

we don't even know who
Noel is yet, right?

I mean, you say
somebody like him,

but who is he?

I mean, our whole
initial relationship

is built on a lie.

Total fabrication.

Part of this process and the
fundamentals of this story

is finding out who he is,

what that person is capable of.

We don't know when he's lying,

and we don't know
when he's telling

- the truth.
- Yeah, but you just said,

that there's no coming
to terms to it.

Not yet, so what are
you referring to?

A threat?

I don't know.

Yeah, sure, we're a threat.

It's the oddity of it, though.

Sort of spectacle of it all.

Do you feel guilty?

Yeah, of course,

because who knows where
that could have led.

We discussed the
eventuality of that

and the potential liability,
but when you're there?

It's like war.

You hear about,

or read about it
in history books,

and movies and lessons.

But when you're in it,

you know?

You know maybe,

maybe we're doing a war film.

Look, Tape Mays was
going to be sheltered.

Now so far, so far,

has to show a murder
on film, right?

What happens, man?

It was supposed to
be a concert film,

and it turned into chaos.

That's just part of the process,

that's just part of,

it's part of existing.

But they weren't implicit in it.

For argument sake.

Yeah, I mean, but,

imagine if someone had that
kind of insight on Manson.

Or, what it is, Gacy,

or Dahmer or Bundy, any of them?

Or even worse, or
people not that bad?

Can you even fathom the
psychological contributions

to the cultural impact
it would of had?

It's quite possible
that this is a war film

in it's own way.

Yeah, maybe that's
how it plays out?

Or maybe that's
the new approach?

Maybe that's what it
was from the beginning,

just war in all it's forms?

It feels like it sometimes.

How many times do I have
to tell you to lock the door?

How do you know
it wasn't locked?

Because you didn't
unlock it, idiot.

Oh, well that's fair.

We have footage!

Nicely done, guys, nicely done.

One, two, three.

Oh my God, oh my God!

Oh my God, I'm like,

- Noel!
- Stifle your squealing,

- sugar tits!
- Oh my God,

- Oh my God!
- Okay, okay,

I know, it was a bit much.

But look see, look see,
look see, look see,

look, look, look, shhh, shhh,
shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh.

Hush, hush,

♪ Hush little baby
don't say a word ♪

♪ Papa's gonna buy you ♪

Oh my God!

Oh, I came back!

What you got?

Don't eat that, don't eat that.

Certainly don't eat that!

No, God!

911, what happened?

Oh, oh, please
send help, please!

The police are on their
way, you asshole!

Hey there, buddy.

I got to go.

You take care of
yourself, chap, alright?

Good seeing you!

- Ah.
- Ah, there they are,

my handsome gents.

How are things, Noel?

Aces, gentlemen, aces,
feeling much better.

So glad to hear it.

I've been working on
myself quite a bit.

I'm not sure if coming to terms

is really the right phrase,

but I've certainly
been negotiating

some of the bigger
baggage better

in light of the recent
events and revelations

- as you know, of course.
- Well, that's really superb.

And thank you, by the way.

I appreciate your patience,
it doesn't go unnoticed.

I just want you to know that.

- Of course.
- Yeah man, no sweat.

So, some big news.

Tomorrow, I'll be seeing Mikayla

and meeting Gabriella
for the very first time.

Ow, how do you feel?

Are you excited?

Words pay it no
service, gentlemen.

My heart, it's, it feels like

it's growing a new one.

If that makes any sense,

and I'm excited

and nervous and
anxious, but grateful,

and usually all at once.

And where are you guys meeting?

Norris, it's a diner in town.

It's suppose to be a
beautiful day tomorrow,

and there's a patio there.

I'll be leaving work
a little early,

and Mikayla, she still
works in the evenings.

Who watches Gabriella
when she's at work?

Mikayla has a
regular babysitter.

Supposedly very pleasant,

and Gabriella
absolutely adores her.

And she's got a
boyfriend, right?

How should I know if the
babysitter has a boyfriend?

Yes, Mikayla's been seeing
someone for a while now.

He recently moved west for work,

and so, they've been dong the
long distance arrangement.

When are you meeting them?

Noon.

You know what my
next question is.

I do, and the answer
has to be no, Errol.

Really, why?

Because it's too personal.

But that's what makes
it all the more important.

For you, not for me.

- For us.
- Okay?

For all us.

Listen, I wouldn't put it to you

any other way but the right
way and the honest way,

and I'm telling you that
this is an imperative

and essential moment
for you, for your story.

Our film, this movie,
it's your story.

I don't want to be a jerk or
press you too hard on this,

but I really must be insistent.

Well, is there a happy
medium of sorts that...

Well yeah, there usually is.

What you'd have in mind?

Well, I don't want a
camera in my daughter's face,

I don't want her
subjected to that,

- do you understand?
- Yep.

What if you were to
film from a distance?

That way, you could
capture the moments,

but less intrusively.

Yeah, can we lav you?

What does that mean?

Can we put a mic on you?

Sure, yes, but from a distance,

- deal?
- Deal.

Alright, I'll come to your home

let's say little before noon,

and we can talk
more about it then.

Sounds great.

Alright, gentlemen,
you have a good day.

- Bye.
- Okay, see you, Noel.

How you feeling there, Muscles?

In mint condition,
wicked delish.

Really, though,

you feeling okay?

I'm in shambles.

How can I help?

You really can't.

I'm excited, really I am,

but it's that
terrified excitement

that you can't shake
out of your stomach.

I don't usually
get queasy often.

I know.

You're gonna do great.

Thank you, Errol.

Hey, Ellis?

- Yeah?
- Is the car packed?

Oh wait, are you miked?

Yes, yes, Ellis already
took care of it.

Yep, the car's ready, too.

Great.

You okay?

Yes.

Every time I get
behind the wheel,

I don't know if
he's gonna start,

that it's the end of the
line for good old Bronson.

Bronson, is he?

So the Pontiac has a name.

Named after the
criminal, not the actor.

The criminal is named
after the actor.

Yes, but still two very,

very different men.

Understood.

Last check, ready?

I will be.

Why don't you gentlemen go first

and I'll trail closely behind?

Alright.

I'm not a bad man.

I'm not a bad man,
I'm not a bad man.

I'm not a bad...

Sorry.

I'm not a bad man.

I'm not a bad man.

I'm not a bad man.

Hi.

Hey.

Hi, Noel.

It's cold out, huh?

How are you?

I'm well.

I'm well, it's good to see you.

Honey, Gabby baby?

Do you know who this is?

This is your daddy.

Remember all those
pictures you saw?

This is him.

Hi, Gabriella.

Can you say, "Hello?"

Hello.

Hi.

It's really lovely to meet you.

Do you want to see my pictures?

Yes, I'd love to
see your pictures.

All she does is draw.

She brings them everywhere.

She just skipped coloring books.

Just draws her own
and colors it.

That's amazing.

- These are beautiful.
- Look at this one.

This one, this is Mrs.
Gallagher, my teacher,

and that's Sam.

We have a dog, Sam.

Would you draw something
for me someday?

You got her going now.

She'll draw you 50
things by lunch.

Are you hungry, Gabriella?

What do you say we get
something to chow down on?

- Okay.
- Okay?

Get that for ya.

Well, it's not that
I don't understand

how and why they became popular.

I'm just saying that serendipity
had a lot to do with it.

Serendipity or luck?

Well, what do you
think the difference is?

I don't know actually.

Take Hanson's
MMMBop for example.

I posit that if they're chords

was actually comprised of words

as opposed to whimsical,
prepubescent rambling

that it never would
of made it then.

Nobody would of heard it

because that was a
part of his charm.

If that's what you'd call it.

Yeah, I remember the
first time I heard it,

I thought to myself,

"What the fuck are
they going on about?

"Am I mid-stroke or
are they putting me on?

- "I mean, what's the story?"
- I was super high once,

and I listened to Justin
Timberlake's Let's Take A Ride,

like 75 times in a row, man.

I convinced myself I
was about clivered

to dog finding the Korean War.

You know, come to
think of it, Noel,

I've never seen you do anything.

Do you ever smoke the
occasional joint,

- or drink anything?
- No, only cigarettes.

You're a Catholic boy, you
should know where I stand.

I am, I have the yardstick
marks to prove my 12 years

- of Catholic schooling.
- Oh really?

Oh, kidding about the beatings,

but we had that
stereotypical priest.

He used to shout out
quotes about the devil.

Put the fear of God in ya.

Do you remember any of them?

The quotes, yeah,
but I only use them

when I think I'm in trouble.

This your hat?

I never seen you wear it before.

- Oh.
- It is yours, I presume?

Yes, I didn't know
it was in here.

It's from a long time ago.

Really though, good for you.

It's not easy resisting
those types of things.

For a lot of people, anyway.

Well, I mean, it's
always been easy,

I just don't like to lose
control of my emotions.

Imitate the actions
of the tiger.

You piece of shit.

I just wanted to come say, "Hi,"

but you started running, so
I decided to run with you.

Piece of shit.

How are you?

Gentlemen, this is
my friend, Monica.

We use to do repertory
theater back in Tarrytown.

You piece of shit.

Are you still over there?

- Yeah.
- What are you guys

working on right now?

Now we doing Shakespeare,
lots of stuff,

- you should come.
- Oh my God,

I should come visit and see
your shows, shouldn't I?

It was this moment

that I realized I would
never understand Noel.

Much akin to the
struggle of pinpointing

the precise moment a
relationship took a sour turn,

or perhaps traversing through
the anils of a fading memory

in a desperate hope to
recapture a glory that once was.

There's an evasive
disconnect between emotion

and a true understanding.

From the beginning, there
was always a real yearning

to learn what made Noel tick.

And like an ancient clock,

that ticking would
somehow always be there.

But the specifics and
the overall reasoning

would forever be
lost in a rough sea

of prevailing uncertainty

and moral dilemma.

He was a man who knew no bounds.

He had lived sternly
within them.

An anomaly of humanity,

of time and place

of good and evil.

He simply was.

♪ Oh I can see your face ♪

♪ It's not my place ♪

♪ Place nor time ♪

♪ Nor time and space ♪

♪ To celebrate ♪

♪ Who I embrace ♪

♪ Ooh-Ooh-Ooh-Ooh-Ooh ♪

Want to talk about
what's on your mind?

I don't think so.

Okay.

That's okay.

It's not good enough, you know.

What isn't?

Any of it.

When I was a young boy,

my brother, Ethan and I,
would invent these scenarios.

And someday later in life,

we would of just gone
to some paradise.

In all our versions,
we would meet there.

In hindsight, I don't know why

we wouldn't just go together.

Maybe we imagined we'd
have our own lives,

our own families,

and we would flee them
to go to paradise.

Where was paradise?

It would always change.

Sometimes, it was the
northeastern part

of the United States or Europe.

We'd always pick these
iconic meeting points.

Eiffel Tower, Big Ben.

A villa on the mountain
side of Italy.

It's funny what paradise is

to a young boy who
lived so far from it.

I've heard you mention
your brother's name before,

but never anymore than that.

My brother, Ethan,
drowned at a town pool

at the age of 10.

I was nine.

The pool was packed that day.

We were doing cannonballs,

splashing everyone around us.

Getting dirty looks
from couples nearby

and looks of glee
from the children,

who eventually joined in

if their parents let them.

Ethan must of slipped and hit
his head on that last one.

Did a great many splashes
in scores of people.

And after a while, we were
all there and he wasn't.

I looked for him at one point,

but I didn't see him,

but I didn't think
anything wrong of it.

Seems like the more people
who were there to save you,

the less attention
is paid to danger.

It was too blissful of
a day for accidents.

It was too obvious, it was
just too out in the open.

I'm so sorry, Noel.

Needless to say, the home
I grew up in ceased to exist.

It became much darker place.

I want therapy,

or whatever it is that I need.

I want to change as a man,

I just don't know
how to approach it.

I need to talk to someone.

I want to be a
father to Gabriella.

But I can't turn myself
into the authorities

or an institution,

and there's the irony in it.

I have to if I want to
be a father to her,

and I can't if I want
to be a father to her.

I don't want to set out
on a journey of truth

and recovery with the
biggest lie of all.

There's got to be a way.

Sometimes, I feel that
maybe I'm just too far gone.

But subconsciously, I
just wanna get caught.

But deep down, I know
I good and I don't.

There must be some middle ground

where you can seek treatment
without confessing,

divulging everything.

Maybe.

One thing I do know for sure
is that I need a change,

I need to change.

And if I'm to progress in that,

then this will have to
go on hiatus again.

Anything can be arranged.

Thank you.

I want to go home.

Get a life, bro!

This was a place for
peace and family!

Not a come for prepared,

but if you would know
what that means,

you filthy, brick-fucking loon!

Hi.

Come on,

explain to them
what we're doing.

So Ellis and I are trying.

Okay, before we even started
rolling on this project,

we had planned on launching a
Kickstarter for finish funds,

mostly for post-production...
Do you want

to explain what Kickstarter is?

And about a crowdfunding
and all that?

- No, no, I don't.
- Okay.

Anyway, let me finish.

Well, we just realized that

we have no idea how
to pitch this film.

I mean, given the obvious
subject matter, we can't.

We can't really even use

the cover story of the
drug angle, either.

Why not, actually?

Well I mean, I guess we could.

I don't know, I just I
feel like it needs to be

sympathetic or
chipper or something

for people to want to donate.

You know, that's
not entirely true.

I mean, it is important, it's
topical, it's got all that,

- and it is sympathetic.
- No, I can be sympathetic.

It can be sympathetic.

I mean, how far up our own
assholes did we have to be

to just completely
have to gloss over

this entire section
of the project?

Wait, is that the last beer?

Hey Noel,

it's the ever-persistent Errol.

I know, I've left
a few of these,

but we miss you.

Listen, we don't even have to
talk about resuming shooting

or the project at all.

We just want to hear
that you're alright,

hear that things are
coming along for you.

We're going to start the
editing process soon.

Edit as you go, so that'll be

rich for confusion
and excitement

and long slumberless nights.

Anyway, two weeks is a while.

Give me a shout when you're
feeling up to it, okay?

Thanks, buddy.

And how did that come about?

The transitions, you mean?

Yes, what was the process
generally, and how speedily?

Immediate.

In light of the funeral,
after that when we came home,

everything was different.

Everything changed.

My father, he started
drinking heavily,

as did my mother but with her,

it was mostly with pills.

But I lost my parents
after that night

in respect of how I've
always knew them.

What affect did Ethan's
death have on you?

And again, I mean immediately
after his passing.

I was old enough to
comprehend the weight of it all.

But still, too young to be
able to grieve properly.

I was terribly sad,
depressed even.

But with my parents
being distant

and resentful at times,

I didn't really have an
outlet for any of it.

How were they
resentful towards you?

By being distant, I guess.

But at least, that's
how I remembered it.

Do you feel they
blamed you for his death

and the accident itself?

I don't know.

I think they resented the
fact that I was still alive.

Do you think they've
favored Ethan over you?

Only afterwards,
after he was gone.

I think if the roles
were reversed

that he would of have
experienced a similar trauma.

Where are your parents now?

Dead.

My poor mother, she
died of kidney failure,

and my father, he died of life.

I was 12 when I left home.

Where did you go
at such a young age?

Around.

When the violent urges

you want to focus our
session on begin?

Around the time of
Ethan's passing?

The night we buried him,

I put a hole through
my bedroom wall.

That's pretty strong
for a nine-year-old boy.

I used an ax.

How did you have access to that?

Garage door was unlocked.

I'm sorry to jump around,

but our time is growing
increasing limited

and I want to make sure...

I'm sorry, let me turn this off.

I want to make sure that
we've arrived at this.

What was the big turn of events

that you wanted to speak about?

Well, it turns out that.

Mikayla's introduction
of Gabriella

was solely self-motivated.

How so?

She wants me to take her,

to have full custody.

Did she give you a reason?

The abridged version is that

her boyfriend moved out west
for work a few weeks ago,

and she now wants to join
him in a month's time.

She wants to start fresh

and relocate, as she puts it.

Why not take Gabriella with her?

She had many reasons.

Central one being

that she doesn't want
to uproot Gabriella

now that she's doing
so well in school

and making friends.

See, Mikayla, she moved
around a lot in her youth,

and she understands the
detrimental impact of it.

You have other suspicions?

I think she truly believes

that Gabriella could have
a better life with me.

No kidding, I hear
it in her voice,

I feel it in her words,
the way she said it.

Also, she mentioned that
although her boyfriend

is a good man,

he has some unsavory habits

she doesn't want to
expose Gabriella to them.

Do you think that's
the lot of it?

Probably not.

But like I said, a better life.

How does that make you feel,

the possibility of having
sole custody of Gabriella?

More elated than I
could ever imagine.

So you're doing it?

Yes.

Wow, I'm very happy for you,

and I'm sorry, but
our time is up.

Yeah, it might be.

How the fuck could
you let that slip?

I've already apologized
to you about it, okay?

But I really want an
answer, not just an apology.

It's not like it was a
slip of the tongue,

it was in an email.

I mean, Jesus Christ, Ellis,

- who's team are you on?
- Look, don't talk to me

like I'm beholden to you.

We're co-directors,
we're co-producers.

I slipped up,

- and that's that.
- Yeah, that's that.

Until Noel has a
spiked soldering iron

shoved two feet up your asshole

in the town square
for the city folk

- to feast their eyes on.
- It might not even register

with him when he reads it.

Of course it'll register
with him when he reads it,

in fact, the moment he reads it

because he's not a fucking
idiot like you are.

He made it explicitly
clear to not

- film his daughter.
- Fuck you, man.

Why are you even communicating
with him behind my back

in the first place?

Behind your back?

Is this middle school
all over again?

That's it, right?

And just because I have a
conversation with someone

and you're not around it,

it doesn't mean it
was clandestine.

This wasn't a
conversation, dickface,

this was an email, and I should

- of been CC'd on it.
- Fine.

For the rest of them,
you will be, okay?

He's a goddamn psychopath,

and you're beating him with
your mindless bullshit!

I've got a family to protect,

and you better not give him
cause to turn on either of us

through your carelessness!

Please, don't throw your family

in the front lines right when
the enemy is approaching.

- They're not shields.
- Exactly,

- that's what you're doing.
- No, no,

all I'm saying is don't
use them to reignite

some fucking righteous sense
of duty or savior complex.

Oh, oh yeah, you do that.

You hide behind that always!

You knew the risks in
documenting someone like Noel,

and you jumped on board
willingly with both feet!

Calculated risks,

now shaking the can before
you leave it in the sun.

All I'm saying

is don't fuck with
me or my family.

- What an ego, man.
- No,

it's not about ego.

It's about finishing
the goddamn film

and coming out on the
other end in one piece.

Do not take needless risks.

You need to tell him
that you mistyped,

or weren't thinking

- or something.
- No, there's no parenthesis

in film, Errol, just
what's on screen

and what isn't, okay?

You can't rewrite
what happened, man.

It's a documentary!

We're too involved.

We're part of the story.

Hell, we are the story 'cause
the fuck knows where Noel is.

Alright, let's cool off, okay?

Let's take some time,

we'll start editing
in a few days.

Guess we'll know by then
really where we stand.

Yeah.

Lana,

how long have you
been standing there?

I can only hope this lens serves

as a merit to the twisted
mission that you're on,

and the danger that you're
putting your family in,

you sick fucks.

It's editing day.

Editing day!

Hello, everyone, it's
day one of editing

where we hope to sift through
the many hours of footage

and see if we can't
begin to locate

some key cohesive
narrative threads.

Ellis?

Uh, yeah,

just basically
seeing where we are

in our journey through
the first cut.

And so, let's just help guide
the movie, guide the shoot.

Exactly, so we
both took the day.

I'm not sure if anyone even
knows that we have day jobs,

do they?

I don't think we
mentioned it, no.

I mean, I don't even know

if we're going to use
this, to be honest.

Probably not.

Anyway, we both took the day
from our respective day jobs

that you may or may
not know that we had.

Should we tell them
what our day jobs are?

No, let's just focus, okay?

We've already...

Jesus.

It's probably just the mailman.

Is Dwayne Johnson your mailman?

- God!
- Yeah, there's probably

a hole in the door.

We have footage.

Seriously?

Awesome, let's take a look.

Well, the mail guy
must of been in a rush

'cause he was half
way down the block

by the time I even
opened the door.

Neither rain nor
snow nor good manners.

Okay.

Looks like an empty card.

Maybe it's just got
the one video.

Oh, Jesus.

What?

This is my house.

This is here.

Oh my God.

What, well, what is it?

This was shot today.

Brian stayed home from
preschool with a fever.

That's him now!

It's editing day.

Editing day!

Hello, everyone.

It's day one of editing

where we hope to sift through
the many hours of footage,

and see if we can't
begin to locate

some key cohesive
narrative threads.

Ellis?

Uh yeah,

it's just basically
seeing where we are.

No, no!

What did I say about Gabriella!

Off limits, off
limits, off limits!

Say it with me, you fat pig!

Get off of him, Noel!

Hello, gentlemen.

- Hey, Noel.
- What's up, Noel?

Look, I know we're
all a bit shaken up

about what happened yesterday.

And to tell you the truth,
I'm sort of sorry, okay?

But, out of one corner of my
mouth, I say, "I'm sorry,"

and now the other corner,
I say, "I told you so."

I know my methods
were a bit drastic,

but that's how I convey the
finer points, sometimes.

I know,

and we are so, so sorry
for crossing that line.

We were just sorry for
crossing that line, Noel.

The footage is gone,
it won't happen again.

I'm confident it won't,

I know we're all on
the same page, now.

I feel this is
really my fault, guys,

I mean, - Ellis,

Ellis, don't be silly.

Either way, it's all
under the bridge,

we're good, okay?

Okay, thank you

for that therapy footage
exclusive, by the way.

That was fascinating
and insightful

and very candid.

How's that going?

I can't see how it
could be going any better.

Doctor Solov has been
absolutely wonderful.

She's making a substantial
difference in my life.

How many times a week
are you seeing her?

Twice, it was once,
but I upped it to two.

One was too few, too
far in between.

The sessions have
been transformative,

and really encouraging

which is exactly what
I need right now.

May I ask about the
unscratchable itch?

It's still there, but
drastically reduced.

See, impulse is impulse.

But with therapy
comes understanding,

which manifests itself
as self-control.

And how so?

I'm understanding
the how's and why's,

the blips and bumps in this
road map of life experiences

that make me Me.

So now, when there
is an impulse,

I'm not longer caught off guard,

but I can instead stop

and think almost immediately.

And how Gabriella doing?

I mean, is she aware of
the transition to come?

Yes, she just found out this
morning, Mikayla told her.

Her reaction was
odd, but not odd.

She reacted almost as
if it was due time.

- Gabriella's reaction?
- Yes, yes,

she acted as if she
knew it was coming,

as if it was supposed to
be, if that makes any sense.

That connection
between the two of you

must be unbelievably palpable,

and she's only known you
for a matter of weeks.

I know, I'm extremely grateful.

It feels like all
this was fated.

Say Noel, do you think
we could get together

and do some live
shooting some time soon?

Would you feel up to that?

Absolutely, yes, I've
been feeling better

and eager to help now.

But look boys,

nature's been calling and has
now left several messages,

so why don't you message
me when you want to meet

and we can sort out the details.

- Okay.
- Okay,

looking forward to hearing
about the final plans

and all the editing.

- I'll talk to you soon, okay?
- Sounds good,

- bye, Noel.
- Later.

Sometimes I wonder
about his father.

How so?

I just feel like
there's more there.

I want out.

I don't know how to...
You don't know how,

how what, Noel?

- How to stop.
- You have to be proud

of yourself.

Man, that was amazing in there.

You've wanted to change
and better yourself,

and you have.

Then what the hell was that?

Why can't I stop that?

Why can't I control it?

I probably took a year off of
that woman's life just through

- sheer terror alone.
- No, that's nonsense,

and you know that
not to be true.

Plus, let's call this
a recovery, okay?

You've just begun this process.

You can't expect overnight
shifts or sudden epiphanies.

You're putting in the
work and the time.

And you've come
leaping and bounding

from where you once were.

It's not the same, Errol.

It's different,
once you've done it

and you've gotten away
with it, the fear is gone.

The stigma, the
hesitation, it's gone.

It's gone for good.

Everything is changes.

It changes.

You're gonna be okay,

and not just for your own sake.

I have to be.

I quite have to be, don't I?

So she comes outside.

And keep in mind, she
just recently moved in,

so she's getting
to know everyone,

she's getting her bearings,

- you know.
- It's so wonderful

to hear about the rest
of your family, too.

Oh, Alisha, she's wonderful.

She's a great spirit.

- Mom's side?
- Yes.

So she comes outside,
and this is in Florida.

And she sees this old woman
harvesting these oranges

across the way.

Being all bubbly and
friendly as Alisha is,

she practically runs
towards this woman

and introduces herself.

She says, "Hi, my
name's Alisha Morgan",

"I just moved in,
what's your name?"

The old woman looks at
her, she nods for a second,

and says, "Jess Picken."

So, Alisha says, "Nice to
meet you, Jess Picken."

And for a few weeks, every time
that Alisha sees this woman,

she says, "Hi, Jess Picken,"
or "Good morning, Jess Picken."

then about a month later,
the landlady comes by.

Alisha had a runny
sink or something.

And the old lady comes out,

and the landlady yells
out, "Good morning, Verna."

And Alisha's all
confused, she said,

"Why did you just
call Jess Verna?"

Landlady shakes her head,

and Alisha continues,
says, "No, no",

"I asked her what her name was,"

"and she it was Jess Picken."

Landlady bursts out laughing.

She explains to Alisha

that the woman probably
said, "Just Picking."

She takes the oranges
from the tree

and sells them at a farmer's
market on the Sundays.

And so, for the better
part of the month,

Alisha had been calling
this woman Just Picking.

So Noel,

what are your hopes and/or goals

of things to learn and discover

throughout the rest of the
making of this documentary,

now that we've come so far
and are winding down a bit?

You know, that's a
solid question, Errol.

I've learned a whole lot,

and what I wanted to
learn during this process.

Now, it'll be about
the implementation

of what it is that I've learned.

Are you pleased that you
went on this journey with us?

I truly am.

I owe you gentlemen a whole lot,

and I plan on finding
a way to pay you back.

No, we are indebted and
forever grateful to you.

If you have one
goal as a father,

and a new father at
that, what would it be?

To not be mine.

To not fail, to not be
weak, but to be strong.

And not just for
one, but for two.

If you could say one
thing to Gabriella right now

as life advice going
forward, what would you say?

Love yourself.

Cherish who you are,
all your inner workings,

all your little
tics, everything.

And don't fear anyone,

especially don't fear yourself.

How have kids changed now
from when you were her age?

Kids need to be kids.

But today, they have much
less time to be themselves.

They grow up so much faster,

they lose their
innocence sooner.

I have this friend at
work, his name's Earl.

He talks about what
a nightmare it is

watching his teenage
daughter go out at night.

One thing he said that
always stuck with me

is that he won't let her

become strawberry-flavored
plastic.

Super-sweet, faking
an innocent facade,

with a faulty
venire of adulthood

and worldliness all condensed

in a tiny frame that
really knows neither.

Of all the poor generations,

they thought they had it
all figured out by age 18,

only to find out that
they weren't equipped

what was needed to
handle the real world.

And that's why I'm not just
gonna be a father to Gabriella.

I want to be her guardian angel,

and I'm gonna be her best
friend for a while there, too.

That's lovely, Noel.

I guess the silver lining

and growing up in a
loveless and desolate hell

and watching it make a
monster out of me is that

I know how I got here.

And that's valuable
knowledge to accrue.

I think I'll have the
Cavetelli Sausage.

Ooh, good choice.

A bit much, but...

But I'll bite.

Yeah, well, you bite.

I think I'll get the Ino
Truffle Egg Toast for myself.

Good choice.

Well, I'm ready.

Gentlemen, my I propose a toast?

To Noel,

for being so open
and this selfless.

To you, to Gabriella
and to your future.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Cheers.

Noel, you okay?

Noel?

Noel?

Good evening, you sack
of severed horse sticks.

You shut up before
I come over there

and fuck-start your face
until the whole room stinks,

and your shirt runs off
like with the stench

- of my balls.
- Jesus Christ!

What's the news, crumb?

Why don't you can the commentary

and keep munching on
your whop kipple?

You remember me?

- No.
- Aww, come on, fourth grade,

do you remember
me, fourth grade?

You cheated at a
game of checkers

to make me look
like an utter fool

in front of Mallory Waters.

Mallory Waters!

And now look at
you, you scoundrel!

Looks like any hussy
with two legs

and a watery crevice
between her thighs

and a chest bigger than
yours will do, won't it?

Is she a hooker?

She smells like
squirrels fucking.

Life lesson, doll,

don't buy your perfume
from the CVS!

I should pound her
little ruby starfruit

like a crochet mallet and
send you the bill afterwards.

Oh, does that get the reproach

you squirting out
of your scatch?

I should rip your innards
out with a pitchfork

and hang 'em on New
York's tallest monuments!

Modern art, baby!

No, stand there, I'm
not gonna touch him!

You scum.

One!

Two!

Three!

You should of been
shot into a sock,

or your mother's
practice throat,

not to be left to infiltrate

fine dining
establishments like this,

with your vial putrid
immorality and your whore wife!

You're gonna king me,
you wanna king me?

You scum, you harlot!

You swine!

The black plague started
with fleas on a rat.

Take a look in the mirror,
and tell me what you see.

Take a look, you scum,

- take a look!
- Come on.

Get a life, bitch!

Come on, come on, come on.

Right now, we're
putting the final touches

of the beginning touches of
this beautiful doll house.

Look at that, honey.

Show them my pictures.

Who, what?

- Show them my pictures.
- Show who the pictures?

Oh,

you want to show the camera
people your pictures, okay.

Let's see, more pictures.

Look at that.

Look at that.

See, when I was young,

whenever I drew
something or offered,

so after I created
anything really,

I'd always do something
odd with my name.

I'd sign it differently
or spell it backwards

or change something about it.

Seems like Gabriella likes
to do the same thing.

Look at that.

Honey, where did you see this?

Did you see this in a picture?

Is it from your noggin?

From your head, yeah?

Look at that.

See?

Those back doors are
closed right now.

Maybe it's a sign, paradise.

Could it be a sign?

The doors are closed.

Noel, Noel!

♪ All the color
the right shade ♪

♪ All the nights
they turn to day ♪

♪ All the sound in unison ♪

♪ All the fabric mold as one ♪

♪ All the demons won't escape ♪

♪ The tide of tempted fate ♪

♪ 'Cause I have you ♪

♪ You you you you you you you ♪

♪ You you you you you you you ♪

♪ You you you you you you you ♪

♪ You you you you you you you ♪

♪ Becoming of age ♪

♪ And I don't care anymore ♪

♪ You coming my way ♪

♪ And I won't swear anymore ♪

♪ Candles do just fine tonight ♪

♪ Blankets both for us to hide ♪

♪ And I don't need a yard ♪

♪ With you are two apart ♪

♪ Not a lot this not to give ♪

♪ I don't need that
much to live ♪

♪ Underneath the sun ♪

♪ Me plus you it's us as one ♪

♪ La-Da-Da-Da-La...
Da-Da-Da-La-Da-Da ♪

♪ Oh La-Da-La-Da-Da-da ♪

♪ La-Da-Da-Da-La-Da-Da-Da ♪

Noel, how the hell do get
up this early every morning?

You get used to it.

♪ All the demons won't escape ♪

♪ The tide of tempted fate ♪

♪ 'Cause I have you ♪

These are awesome.

I'm fully aware I'm being
that annoying father right now

showing you these pictures
you don't give a crap about.

But frankly, I
don't give a shit.

Of course we care.

It's fascinating how
quickly you become doting.

Four weeks ago, if someone
tried to do this to me,

I'd want to rip out their larynx

and show it to their mother.

Not literally, just to be clear.

- That's unbelievable.
- What, exactly?

No, say that again.

- Say what?
- For the camera about...

- About what?
- About your routine.

Oh.

I've had the same routine
every single morning

for seven years now.

With no change, whatsoever.

Well, that's what
makes it routine,

- Errol.
- Yeah, I know, but still.

Take us through it.

Every morning, I
wake up at 4:37 a.m.

Why?

I don't know,

because it's later
than 4:35 a.m.

So in my mind, psychologically,
I'm gaming the system

by getting two minutes
of extra sleep.

Besides, 4:40 a.m. is too late.

Operating on fives and
10s, it's arbitrary to me.

- It's good?
- Yeah.

Good.

You're gonna be losing
light soon here, man.

Oh, we're losing light.

Why the hell did Norman

send everybody off early?

120 Apple Street's got to
get finished by tomorrow.

He couldn't of
left one other guy?

I suppose he thought
we were sufficient.

By the way, what are you feeding this
guy, anyway, ecstasy?

And half the time, he's
smiling like a goddamn lunatic.

Nobody smiles at work.

Maybe he's on the
verge of something

that makes him
happy, I don't know.

- Maybe.
- Yeah.

Still, I think he's becoming

- squirrely.
- Squirrely?

Yeah.

Why do you have to
say that about Noel?

I'm squirrely I
guess, what can I say?

I don't know which one's worse,

this Noel or the Noel
that half the time

looks like he could
kill a mother fucker.

I'm just concerned
that at some point,

we'll be shooting just
to shoot, you know?

I mean, I don't want
to spend the money,

or more importantly,
the time continuing

when we really do have enough.

Yeah, I completely agree.

It's funny.

There's been a few times
where I've almost said,

"That's a wrap."

But I feel like this
really is that moment.

Well, it must be,

or now, we wouldn't
be filming, right?

Document everything,
as we always say

because you never know.

Oh my God, oh my God!

- Lana?
- What's happening?

Oh God, oh God.

- What are you watching?
- What is this!

What is this, what
is wrong with you!

Why is this in our house!

So Noel, as much as I enjoy

weighing the positives and
negatives of my potentially

taking the coaching job
at the middle school,

what's the big announcement
that you wanted to tell us?

Gentlemen, this will be
our final correspondence,

at least for a while.

I've been planning something
catastrophically large,

and there's a good
chance this will be

the last time I
will talk to you.

How do you mean?

I'm afraid I can't elaborate.

I'll have to leave it there.

That sounds rather
menacing, Noel,

especially after the positive.

Oh no, the positive is
still there, I assure you.

This is just

that last leg of my
therapy, if you will.

Did you say, "Catastrophic,"

or, "Catastrophically large?"

- He said, "Large," after.
- Did he, did you?

Let's just say this will be

the most significant
contribution of my life.

I've been working towards this
for a very long time, now.

Will you be in the lurch,

or did you get everything
that you need to get from me?

Funny, Noel, we were just
discussing that the other night.

And we have concluded
that yes, indeed,

we've captured everything
that we wanted to.

Splendid, well,

let's not make this too
heavy of a goodbye

since it's on Skype and all,

and I'm not really too
keen on them, anyway.

Will you be in touch?

Yes, when the time is right,

I will be in touch.

Take care of yourself, Noel.

And more importantly,

take care of Gabriella.

Check and check.

Whoa, whoa, wait, wait.

How will this story end?

How will your story end?

With the happiest and
poppyest of melodies.

The best to both of you
and your families.

Thank you, any
final words for us?

This is Noel Rose,
signing off the grid.

Honey, please.

Look don't do this.

You don't know Noel like I do.

He loves Gabriella.

Baby please, just listen to me.

Just hang up the phone,
and listen to me.

Just talk to me for a second,

please Lana.

Baby, just listen to me.

No, don't.

Babe don't do it.

Just hang up
the phone and talk to me.

Just hang up their phone
and talk to me, please.

One, two, three,

there ya go.

Let's get you buckled in, huh?

Are you warm enough, yeah?

It's not too tight?

Okay.

Yay!

Do you think this is a
really temporary place for it?

I do.

Gabby, can I ask you something
without you being afraid?

Are you afraid?

I'm never afraid when
I'm with you, daddy.

I love you, Gabriella.

I love you, too.

Are you ready to go?

Alright.

I was gonna start
at the beginning.

I was gonna start at the...

Interesting to hear
you say that, Noel,

because it is all about
perception, right?

I think for us as filmmakers
and for the audience

it's important.

No, actually, it's
absolutely imperative

that we don't try to mince words

or hide behind anything that
we could possibly hide behind

should we feel threatened

or uncertain of
purpose or direction.

I mean, we've spoken about
that at length, Noel.

So, to that end, I have to ask,

do you consider yourself
to be a serial killer?

Does that apply to you?

The term serial killer.

Society, people these days,

they have too vague
of an interest

in the specific acute
learning of something.

It's far more superior,
but far more difficult

to acquire knowledge and
have a firm understanding

as opposed to applying a label

and then conditioning your mind

to see the label, not
what's behind it.

So yes, by definition, you
could apply a label to me

and you would be accurate.

But it's all impulse, isn't it?

If I was to drag your impulses
in the middle of the street,

I think I could do a swell job

of turning you out to be
some spawn of the devil

or unsavory spirit.

See, these labels, they
create vague ideas,

and with vague ideas,

you can make anyone out to be

a monster or a demon.

That's what people do
when they don't understand

or when they wish not to,
so I am not offended by it.

See, it creates a
troublesome state of affairs

for those who fall
under that category.

Especially for those who don't.

Do you have any rules?

Mm-hm.

No women and no children.

I'm just kidding.