Storks (2016) - full transcript

Fixed & Synced by bozxphd. Enjoy The Flick

For as long as can be remembered,
storks delivered babies

from their perch on Stork Mountain.

It was an honor and a privilege to serve.

It was our duty, our core belief,

the driving force of our very lifeblood.

Aw... Ow!

It wasn't always easy.

Oh...

This was our challenge.

This was our sacred duty.



No matter how tough or impossible

or brutal or harsh or inhumane or savage,

we would triumph over adversity.

Phew!

Gotcha!

Oh!

Hey.

- On your right.
- Left.

Bike lane.

Thank goodness
we don't do that anymore.

There! Right there!

The problem was,

we had the wrong cargo.

Our new phones!



Luckily, now, storks deliver
packages for Cornerstore. com!

- My dude!
- Oh, yeah!

Yo, Kevron! Lookin' good, my man!

Oh, I love this guy!

Perfect landing. Chiggy-check.

You're the man!

What? Millionth package? Not possible.

I thought I was only at 20.

Hey, Junior, are you gonna celebrate?

You know what? You're right.
I should celebrate.

What are you guys doing this weekend?

Are you guys free?

The wife and I
are celebrating another anniversary.

Got my kid's game this weekend.

Family reunion. The whole family's coming.

Oh. Just wanted to confirm.

That you were all busy.

I assumed you were all busy and you are.

So, if anything changes, let me know.

I maybe could get out of work.

Probably can't,
but let me know if you can.

Great job out there, brah!

Thanks, Pigeon Toady.

Check out my girlfriend.

- She's in Canada.
- Yeah-huh.

She migrated.

- She's not made up.
- Okay.

Look at her! Look at her!

- She exists, brah!
- That's great.

Hey, did you guys hear about Roger?

Ah!

Oh, my goodness. Are you okay?

What? Hey, brah. I say... What? Okay.

I tell you about my girlfriend?

Hey, boss wants to see you.

Uh...

Hunter wants to see me?

All right. Head in the game, Junior.

So, you're Hunter.
What do you do around here?

No, I hate that.

Hunter. Nice. To. Meet. You.

No, that's too robot.

Just say it normal. Just say it normal.
Here we go.

Nice to meet you!

What is wrong with me?

Junior.

Hunter.

You know why
I built my office entirely out of glass

even though birds can't see glass?

I do not.

Power move.

Eighteen years ago, I saved all storks
by getting out of babies

and into package delivery.

Now, this Monday at Storkcon,

the board will announce
they're kicking me upstairs.

I'm going to be named Chairman.

Which means you are going to be named

boss.

Boss!

Cool, cool, cool. Very cool, very cool.

Now, look upon your domain
with your eyes wide open.

- Yeah.
- Wider.

I love it. Feels good.

How can you be boss
if you can't look at it?

If I go blind, it was worth it.

You know the hardest thing
about bein' boss?

Staring at the sun?

No, this is easy.

Whether to be like a friend boss
or a distant, weird boss?

Always be distant and weird.
What's the matter with you?

Sorry.

No, it's dealing with that.

The orphan Tulip?

I don't understand.

Do you know why
we stopped delivering babies?

Because there are so many
other ways of getting babies?

Yes. But that's not the whole story.

Eighteen years ago,
when we still delivered human infants,

a stork named Jasper
went crazy and tried to keep a baby.

Tulip's beacon broke.

Her address was destroyed,
so we could no longer deliver her.

My baby!

It was then I realized that
there was no future in baby delivery.

Now, the orphan Tulip has just turned 18,
which means we can finally liberate her

and return her to the human world.

But she's no trouble.

Oh, she isn't, is she?

Here's our profit chart.

- I love a good profit chart.
- Me, too.

Yeah!

The peaks are when Tulip is on vacation,
asleep or out with the flu.

The valleys are when she tries to help.

Cool. I will liberate her.
Consider her liberated.

And if she doesn't want to be liberated?

Fire her. I'm talking about firing her.

Really?

The only thing you need to do
to be named boss on Monday

is liberate the orphan Tulip.

If I'm not being clear, I mean fire her!

Yes, sir. I am on it.

I have read between the lines
and heard you overtly.

Ow, ow, ow...

Excuse me! Orphan Tulip?

Junior?

You're talkin' to me?

Yes, Orphan Tulip!

No, it's just that you never talk to me.

Well, yeah, that's changing
starting today, Orphan Tulip.

Oh, "Tulip" is just fine.
"Orphan" hurts my heart.

I have so many questions to ask you!

Why don't you come down
and we can talk all day?

Okay. I will be down.

As will my friends.

We are going to fly right down.

What? No, no.

That's a quail, an emu, there's a chicken.

They cannot fly.

Yeah. Until now.

She's helping us achieve our dreams.

- That's right, Dougland.
- You know it.

It is still a personal victory
if you use the bucket.

Okay, we'll all not use the bucket!

Wait, what?

Ha-ha! Tulip doesn't fit in.

We're all the same and she's a weirdo.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's not nice. She's...

She's had a hard life.

Okay.

This is gonna be great, guys!

Countdown.

Three, two, one!

Oh.

It's working! We're flying!

Ho-ho! Whoa!

Yeah, yeah!

Yeah!

Enough of this, I wanna go fast!

No! Dougland, wait!

No, no, no!

This is the greatest day of my life!

I'm flying!

This is my moment!

- Dougland! No!
- Get out of my way!

Bad Dougland! No!

How could my dreams go so horribly wrong?

I got ya!

Okay.

I'm fallin'.

Oh, no! No! No, no, no, no, no!

- Uh...
- Oh, boy.

Oh. Oh, that's not so bad.

I got it. I got it. I got it! I got it!

I got it!

I'm sorry! Oh, I'm so, so sorry. Oh!

I don't fit in anywhere
and all I want to do is help!

Oh, boy.

Uh, Tulip, okay. I have news for you.

Before you finish,

for you to come to wish me
a happy birthday,

that's just the nicest, you know?
It's like a little rainbow.

So, thank you.

That's really nice.

But, oh, I'm sorry.
I interrupted you.

- What were you gonna tell me?
- Uh...

Oh, boy.

I have wonderful news for you.

You have been liberated.

What does that mean?

Well, it means that you are
fired.

- What?
- You're...

Are you okay?

Excuse me. You're...

You're fantastic!

Really?

Because I just blew up
most of the factory.

Oh, yeah.

What a twist! Um...

Well, it means...

Oh.

I'm putting you in charge
of your very own department.

You are the new head of Letter Sorting.

I didn't even know we still got letters.

We do!

- And now, you're in charge of them.
- Oh, yes! I will rock this!

You will rock this!

- Oh, yeah! Rock it hard!
- Gonna rock it hard!

And what's the number-one rule?

Always deliver!

- Wrong. Never leave this room.
- Oh.

I always thought it was
something more like "Strength"!

- "Determination"!
- Nope. That's way off.

Number-one rule, never leave this room.

Okay, well, if that...

Bored, bored, bored.

So, how was your commute?

Oh, I took the bucket.

Me, too. Real backed up.

Oh, yeah.

You hear about Steve and Gloria?

What?

I hear they're an item.

- No.
- Yeah.

Are you kidding me?

Are you guys talking about us?

You guys better not be talking about us.

I told you that in confidence.

You don't make her upset. She's my life!

Oh, no, I said it out loud.

You're not supposed to say anything!

Sorry, guys. Cat's out of the bag!

- No!
- Meow!

Are you gossiping?
No gossip allowed! Go to HR!

I've called you both in because
I hear you've been having problems.

- And it's important we have...
- She's the one who started it!

- How dare you!
- How dare you!

- How dare both of you! You're fired!
- You can't fire me!

- I just did!
- Wait! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that!

- Guys! Group hug!
- Group hug!

Aw.

I'm hugging myself. Okay.

Somebody write me a letter!

Come in, Ninja Commander.

This is Cowboy Astronaut Agent Nate, over.

Ninja Team Commander, are you in position?

I'm about to launch the assault.

We can absolutely do that.

That's not gonna be a problem.

Ha-ha! Dr. LeFreeze!

You may have me outnumbered 7,000 to one,
but you weren't counting on one thing,

I'm not alone.

Ninja force, attack!

Ninja force?

Oh, ow! No! Oh!

This is the end.

Ninja force, tell my wife I loved her.

Gardner Real Estate. Henry...

- And Sarah...
- Gardner!

A house is not a home
without a Gardner!

Ninja Commander, where were you?

- Uh, can you hold one second?
- Can you just...

You promised me that we were taking down
Dr. LeFreeze this afternoon.

You didn't show up,

and now he controls
most of Western Europe.

Ethnic tension is on the rise.

Yeah.

- We're totally done after this call, okay?
- Really?

- Five more minutes.
- And then we'll stop.

We promise.

We never stop.
That's the Gardner promise.

Not even for five minutes.

Oh, look! There's one of our bench ads.

And you know what it says?

"We never stop."

We never stop. We never stop.

There's a stop sign.
We're stopping.

We do stop for that.

I love you, brother.

It's like we're best friends
that live together!

And we yield.

And the yield
you're gonna get on this house, Kyle...

And that's what we were saying,
like you've gotta be up...

Mom, Dad,
I've decided I want a baby brother.

- Oh, honey, can you...
- Can you hold one second?

- Oh...
- Um...

I think we're fine as a family of three.

Why can't I have one?

Let's make this easy.
Where do you get one?

Why are you laughing and not answering me?

Where did you get me?

What is the joke?

Is there a different subject?

Okay, so there's a super weird
vibe in this car right now.

Oh, honey, this is very sweet.

But we have you.

And that's all we need.

That's right.

No, no, no, don't feel bad.

You can call us anytime.

Call us morning, noon or night.

Weekends, holidays.

No, we will pick up the phone
on Christmas.

Oh, well, I don't... Will we?

Yeah, you can call us on Christmas.

"Dear Stork Delivery Service,

"our adult names are Henry and Sarah.

"We are adult parents
of an absolutely perfect son named Nate.

"He really deserves a baby brother.

"As adults, it is our adult belief

"that it would be irresponsible
if this baby did not have ninja skills.

"Sincerely, adult parents
Henry and Sarah Gardner comma adults.

"Not Nate.

"P.S. He has to have ninja skills!"

Hi-ya!

Nailed it.

Happy birthday, dear Tulip!
Happy birthday to you!

Whoo!
Guys, thank you so much! Oh, my gosh.

Don't you think Junior put
you down here to get you out of the way?

Cheryl, that's not fair.
Why would you say that?

What? I can't help it.
I'm your outspoken friend.

I've never done this before,

but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

Aha! A letter!

"The H.I. Department."

Don't know that one.

He said the number-one rule is
"Don't leave."

But if I don't deliver the letter,
I won't be doing my job.

I'll cover for you!

Okay, thanks!

I have excellent news.

I have taken care of the Tulip problem.

Wonderful.

Monday, it'll all be yours.

Barring any monumental screw-up.

Do you know what we'll do
when you're boss?

No. Tell me!

We'll barbecue together.

We'll point at things together.

We'll team-build together.

We'll wear suits together.

You'll never be alone
because Cornerstore is your family.

- What?
- And I'll be like your dad.

And you're like my son.

My son-ployee.

And like any family...

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

How do you turn this thing off?

And racquetball and fishing...

Why are there so many screens?

Turn off, turn off, turn off!

You're about to
get everything you ever wanted.

Great convo, Hunter!

I'm so stupid!

I should have just fired her!
Why didn't I just fire her?

Tulip!

Hey!

Hey, what are you doing out of the room?

I told you not to leave the room!

Nah, it's cool. I'm covering for myself.

What?

Okay, we need to get outta here.

Come on. We have to go now.

Junior, you asked me to do a thing,
and I will not fail you!

Always deliver!

Wait! No!

This is the Baby Factory!

This is the Baby Factory?

No, no, no!

See ya!

Why did you do that?

Touchdown Tulip!

Stop celebrating!

I think it was supposed to go over there.

Oh...

You're right. That was wrong.

Oh, come on!

Why didn't we destroy
this place years ago?

Oh, my gosh!

I can't believe what I'm seeing!

Do you see all this?

Junior! This is amazing!

Why put the button there? Uh...

Come on!

Hi-ya!

Is it off?

Uh, I believe so.

Are you okay?

Your wing looks a little mangled.

My wing is fine. It's A-O-great.

Yeah, that seems bad.

Let's go.

This place is dangerous.

Huh. What is that?

Cool beans.

- What?
- What?

- What's happening?
- Mom, Dad.

The storks are bringing me a baby brother!

That sounds like
a nice dream, buddy.

Let's go back to sleep, honey.

This is the best day of my life!

This is the worst day of my life!

Hunter's gonna kill me!

- Why don't we just tell someone?
- Are you insane?

If anyone finds out about this,
I am dead meat.

My hopes of becoming boss destroyed.

No, no, no.

Come on!

What up?

- Hey, Pigeon Toady.
- Hey, there.

Hey, cool metal thing, brah.

New kind of package? What's in it?

- Candy canes.
- Some gas. Uh...

Cool, brah. You catch the game last night?

- Oh, yeah. Real great game.
- Excellent playing.

Yeah, too bad about the last quarter.

- Yeah, that was too bad.
- Real bummer.

And yet then with a little
time left, we pulled it out...

- Totally!
- Yeah.

Only to lose it again
in the last second.

- Such a disappointment.
- It was a comedown.

- Only to get it back.
- Best day of my life!

- Only to lose it!
- Worst day of my life!

Only to get it back.

A roller-coaster of a game!

Only to lose it again.

What a game! Here we go, see you later.

Bye!

Cool. No big deal.

Wait... Wait a second.

There was no game last night.

What the...

Come on. Let's get to my workshop.

We'll be safe there.

All right, okay, all right, all right.

It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay.

We just need to keep a low-pro here. Okay?

If one person sees a stork with a baby,

my chances of being named boss
are ruined. So...

What are you doing?

- I wanna see the baby!
- No, no, no.

We do not open that thing.

Just a brief exposure
to baby cuteness can ruin your life.

Remember Jasper?

Hmm. I'm trying to put my finger on it.
I can't think of who...

You're being sarcastic because
he changed the course of your life.

- That's right.
- Yeah.

Huh. How about this?

Huh. All right, Storkcon is on Monday.
Today is Friday.

If I can just deliver this thing by then,
I can still be named boss.

Gardner family, here I come!

But your wing's broken. You can't...

Make a plan! Stick to the plan!

Always deliver!

I'll never fly again!

What's that?

Hmm? What's what?

That. Right there.

Uh... Oh, that? No.

That's nothing.

Looks like an airplane.

Well, it kind of is an airplane, I guess.

Great! I'll use it.

Oh, well, it kind of took me
a long time to make,

like years and years...

Great. All leading to this moment.

I'm saving it for something else.

- For what?
- Hmm?

What were you gonna use it for?

Oh, well, hey there, kid.

Now's your chance.

- Uh, I don't know.
- Yeah.

I don't even know if it flies.

Eh, uh...

You know what?

Yeah, you can use it.
Let's deliver this baby.

Are you sure though?

- Uh...
- All right, let's do it!

Okay, great.
Let me show you how to fly this.

Um, hello? I'm a bird.

I'm pretty sure I know how to...

I was wrong! I was immediately wrong!

Of course, the autopilot button.
That makes perfect sense.

I knew that. I was testing you.

Oh, you were testing me
on a thing that I made.

- That's correct.
- Is your seat wet?

Yep. That's my urine.

I peed in the seat when we were falling.

Whoo. What else do you want to talk about?

My baby.

Now, I really think you're
gonna love this one, Becky.

I think we found you a good one.

Yeah, when we saw this,

we looked at each other
and we were like, "Wow."

"This is theirs." Yeah.

- And it's a fixer-upper...
- Yeah. It is.

Which I know we weren't looking for.

But at least it's not a fixer-downer.

Oh, honey, can you just...

- Can you hold one second?
- Yeah, can you?

- You're up. You're up.
- What? No, it's not my turn.

- You're up, now. You're up.
- It can't be.

So you want a panic room, okay.

Uh...

Nate?

What?

Nate?

Hey there, buddy.

Whatcha doin' here?

I'm preparing.

Right, you're preparing.

For what?

To get my baby brother from the storks.

Right.

Hey, I love your school encourages
imagination over actual learning,

- but the storks don't deliver anymore.
- I know.

They haven't done that in, like, forever.

Dad, you don't have to help me at all.

This is a guilt-free pass for you
to go back inside and work.

Just go.

- Go. Shoo, shoo, Dad. Go.
- What?

Okay, all right. Fine.

You blink and I'll be in college.

What was that?

Hmm? No, I'm just walking, working.

- I didn't say anything. You should just...
- Okay.

Remember when I was a baby?
It felt like one minute ago?

- What?
- What? Hmm?

Fine.

Dad, you'll be my idol
for, like, two more years.

Okay, I heard that one.

Okay. All right, look.

Five minutes. That's all the time I have
is five minutes, and then we stop.

Yeah, five minutes.

Five minutes, and then...

We stop.

Five minutes and then we stop.

What?

Powder?

Baby powder.

Homing pigeon powers activate!

Ah!

Baby, what are we
gonna call you, baby?

This is crazy.
We are delivering a baby!

No, we are delivering a package.

Maybe we should name it
instead of calling it "the package."

We do not name the package, okay?

It's very simple.

We make a plan. Stick to the plan.

Always deliver.

And then we get back to Storkcon
so the board can name me boss.

Oh, it's so exciting.

What can we expect from boss Junior?

Oh, you know that's top secret.

- You can tell me. Come on.
- It's gonna be big!

Like what? Like, what, how big?
Like, what are you gonna do?

I prefer not to talk about it right now.

- Do you not know?
- What?

- Oh, my gosh. You don't know.
- I know.

If you don't know,
then why do you wanna be boss?

- I know.
- You don't.

Oh, man,
you laugh when you're uncomfortable.

No.

- Am I pushing your buttons?
- Uh, no.

- Yes, I am.
- Nah. No.

- Beep, beep, boop, boop...
- No, those aren't even where my buttons

would be if I had buttons.

- Beep, beep, boop, boop...
- So, nice try.

I am programming you to tell me
why you want to be boss.

I love robots, so this is fun.

We're having a good time together.

Why do you wanna be boss?
Why do you wanna be boss?

Back off!

Oh, God! No!

No, no, no!

Wow! Well, that was funny.

You almost died.

I guess the lesson we learned today is
don't ask me why I want to be boss, right?

Okay, good talk.

Good talk.

That didn't sound happy.

Yeah, well, the package
will be delivered soon enough.

Uh...

I really think that
we should check that out, you know.

Ah, just relax.

Okay. Yeah, you're right.

Ah, you see, the package has
cried itself gently to sleep.

I can't take it!

Can't help body movements! Must open pod!

Wait! No!

The pod! Gotta open the pod!

Oh, no! No, no, no!
Come back! Come back!

- Be there in a jiff!
- Pull yourself together!

- Fly this plane!
- Gotta open the pod!

We're gonna die!

Well, at least the baby's quiet.

Are you out of your mind?

A baby cries and you crash a plane?

Hey, hey, hey! I was busy with the pod!

Why didn't you turn on the autopilot?

I was panicking! Listen to me, Tulip.

- You crashed a plane, did you hear me?
- The baby is quiet.

- You crashed a plane!
- The baby is quiet!

- The baby is quiet?
- The baby is quiet!

- Why didn't you say anything?
- Oh, no!

Why is it quiet?

Open the pod! Open the pod!
Open the pod! Open the pod!

How do you open this thing?
How do you open it? Come on!

Aw.

Oh, my gosh.
You know what I just realized?

This baby and I have the same birthday.

Oh, yeah. I don't care.

You crashed the plane.
I don't need you anymore.

I'm going to deliver
the package myself. Goodbye.

What? You're breaking up the team?

"Team"? What is wrong with you?

You and I are not a team. We are nothing.

There is no "we."

This is all your fault. This.

This. This!

All of this.

A good day to you, Orphan Tulip.

A good day.

Well, just so you know, I'll be fine.

I'm the most popular person
in the entire Letter Sorting department.

- I can't hear you!
- I said that...

Yeah, it just sounds
like "Blah, blah, blah,"

but mixed with crying.

But that's not what I'm...
Junior, come here.

I can't hear what you're saying,
but I assume it's lame.

I said I'm the most popular person...

Lame!

Tulip's dumb.

There's a reason she doesn't fit in.

Ifyou're smart enough to build a plane,
then who wrecks one?

I'm gonna deliver this package
and be back at Stork Mountain in no time.

Oh, great. Now I'm surrounded by wolves!

What are you gonna do,
knock me unconscious?

Perfect!

Oh, seriously?

I'm not talking to you. I'm mad at you!

Oh, no. Really? What am I gonna do?

We are done! This conversation is over.

Last word, me!

- Last word.
- Me.

- Last word. Last word.
- Me. Me. Me.

Listen, I'm the alpha.

I'm gonna eat this thing first.

I'm gonna be the new alpha.

No. There is no...
There's no need for a new alpha.

I'm the alpha!

- You...
- You're not even a beta.

I'm the alpha!

No, you're not the alpha!

Aw!

What just happened?

- What was that?
- What did that thing just do?

- I'm sorry. Where were we?
- Oh, yeah.

I'm gonna devour this thing.

I'm gonna bite her arm clean off.

You didn't bite her arm clean off.

This tastes like flowers.

Okay, stand aside.

Look at you. Look what you did.

I did the same thing you did.

- Are you in love?
- I am in love.

- Are you in love?
- I'm in love, too.

I agree. I agree. I agree. I agree.

Hey, guys!

This tiny thing is now a wolf, everybody.

- What did he say?
- What? What's happening?

- Louder. We're in the back!
- We're keeping it!

- Back of the pack, we're keeping it!
- Okay, thank you.

Aw, look at that.

The delivery is now complete.

Now, I just need to find
a way out of here.

Wait, you're not gonna deliver
her to her actual parents?

Baby doesn't know the difference
because babies are dumb.

Oh, babies are not dumb.

They are super dumb.

Babies have a higher level of intelligence
than we will ever understand.

You sound like a baby
that learned how to talk.

I am a baby that learned how to talk!

Hey, I want to teach it
to walk around in circles

- before it lays down.
- Yes. Yes. Yes.

That's my favorite thing to teach.

Don't get too close,
you're gonna scare it!

I'm not... Ow!

Aw!

- Huh. The baby, it's laughing!
- Yeah. Good for it.

No.

Okay, I apologize for what
I'm about to do.

- Ow!
- Sorry.

Aw!

- Stop it!
- Sorry.

Sorry.

- That's my face!
- Sorry!

- Why did you stop?
- Come on!

Okay, I get the plan.
I can fake it. I can fake it!

Okay, okay. Fake it!

Ow!

Wait!
Hold on a second, okay? Wait.

All right, I have an idea.

Imagine how much harder
she could hit me if you cut us down.

Oh, yeah! I could really wail on this guy.

I mean, you don't have to
go that hard, but...

- Oh, I think I do.
- Well...

Oh, I'm still mad at you.

Cut 'em down!

Grab a stick or something!

Wait, what?

Aw!

Do you want more?

Yeah!

Will this tiny twig be enough?

- Yes!
- No! No!

Bigger!

Get the biggest twig you can find!

Sorry, Junior.
Gotta give the people what they want.

Grab the baby! Let's go!

Wolf pack, chase!

Chase, chase, chase.

Why wouldn't you stop hitting me?

I was distracting them.

Okay, here we go.

Oh! Oh! We should untie the bridge!

Yeah, I know. What do you think I'm doing?

Chase, chase, chase.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Suck it, wolves!

Wolf pack! Form of wolf bridge!

Hut, hut, hut.

What is happening?

The wolves are forming
a suspension bridge.

- How is that possible?
- I don't know.

All right, let's go!

A bridge!

We're probably gonna die!

Chase, chase, chase!

Let's go!

- The door!
- Leave it!

Almost gotcha,
almost gotcha, almost gotcha!

Oh, my gosh!
We can use that thing as a thing!

Right! To thing to the thing!

Let's go!

- You sound like a monkey.
- You sound like a monkey!

Wolf pack, form of wolf boat!

Boat!

Are you kidding me?

That is so unpredictable!

Ha-ha!

Wolf pack! Form of submarine!

Submarine!

I didn't know wolves could
form a submarine!

I've never seen that before
on nature shows.

Okay, quick, get to the plane!

What? I thought it was broken.

No, I fixed it with some spare parts.

We're gonna get ya. We're gonna get ya.

All right, let's go!

Junior!

Obviously, I'm not gonna push it.

Wait!

Oh, I could push it so easily.

It would take
such a little amount of force.

Don't look at me like that.

If you don't give us Tiny Thing,
we're gonna eat you.

We're gonna eat you anyway!

You don't say it.

You make the deal
and then you eat them anyway.

Gotcha!

We're not going to eat you!

Well, now it's too late!

Oh, no! No!

- Junior!
- Let's go!

All right, let's fly!

It doesn't fly.

- What?
- It falls!

Why did I save you?

Whee!

Wolf pack! Form of wolf plane!

- Come on! Come on!
- Let's go!

Tiny Thing, come back!

Oh, come back, Tiny Thing. We need you!

My baby.

Hmm.

What?

Five more minutes and then we stop

What?

- Five more minutes...
- No!

That's our chimney!

You're gonna destroy the whole roof?

Mom, we have to replace
the chimney with a slide

for when the storks deliver
my baby brother.

What he said.

No! Don't be crazy.
You cannot do the chimney.

Come on, don't make me the mean mom.

- Dads are fun, moms are mean.
- I heard that!

- Parent conference.
- Pinching!

Henry, people are gonna think we're crazy.

We need to tell him.

Tell him what?

What, to go watch more TV?

This is the best time I've had
with Nate in my life.

I actually feel like a dad again.

And when no baby brother shows up?

Well, then we tell him.

We can get a new chimney,

but we'll never be able to
replace this time with Nate.

And if we put those headsets back on,

how old will Nate be
when we take them off again?

I'm not a jerky teen yet.

Fleeting moments, precious memories.

Moms are fun, too.

Wow! That's...
That's not a well-made chimney.

I'm... I'm a small woman
and that just came...

Yeah, that came right down!

Okay, so, uh, what's next?

Okay, it's Saturday night.

As long as we deliver by tomorrow,
we can still make it for Storkcon Monday.

Thanks for waiting for me back there.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, okay, "I'm too manly to
admit anything at all about anything."

Is that supposed to be me?

Oh, sorry, "This is a more
accurate representation."

Oh, you're so right.
That is what I sound like.

Let's both talk like this.

Baby's fussing.

She's bored. We have to distract her.

Oh, let's see. Oh!

You are a baby
You are a baby

Little hands, little feet

- Look at you, you're so sweet
- JUNIOR: Stop! Stop! Stop!

You're so cute I wanna...

Let's just step aside, all right?

- And let me do it.
- You want to sing to her?

Yeah. Is that so surprising?

I'm a pretty good singer, actually.

Okay, fine! Sing to her.

When you need a little something

And there's too much to do

Just click your little finger
And we'll ship it for you

Cornerstore, Cornerstore. com

F ree shipping does not apply
in Alaska and Hawaii.

Wait, wait, wait, is that a song?

That's not a song, that's an ad.

- Well, strap in for this one then, Tulip.
- Okay.

Cornerstore

I like how this is going.

Let your packages rain down on me

Uh, this looks like a good place
to rest for the night.

Junior, what are talking about?
Why are you acting...

I can't hear what you're saying.

- Junior?
- I can't hear you!

Junior!

Hmm...

Hey! Have you seen
a red-headed lady and a stork?

A bird and a lady?

I don't know what you're talkin' about.

I saw two that fit that
description the other day!

No, man, I will not be your friend.

Sorry, thought we were vibing.

Why you being so creepy?

You know what? Just get... Here. Here.

I'm just gonna
put this right here.

Uh...

What happened back there?

What? What do you mean?

Uh, you stabbed the raft?
For literally no reason!

It was not for no reason.
It was for personal reasons.

Anyways, there's a port
right there on the coast.

We'll just leave
first thing in the morning

and deliver the package.

Just call it "the baby."

Why are you so afraid of babies?

Because this one single package

could ruin everything
I've worked towards my entire life!

- Why do you wanna be boss again?
- Not this again.

No, really.
Why do you wanna be boss of Cornerstore?

I don't know, okay? I mean...

Why does anyone want to be boss?

It rules. That's why.

Yeah, but what would you do?

- I don't know. What would you do?
- I'm glad you asked!

Well, for one, I would employ a more
diverse variety of birds and animals.

Two, I would get rid of
the Cornerstore warehouse

because that building is a bummer.

And three, I would start
delivering babies again.

Okay, you were very prepared
for that question.

Man, I feel so close to you.

Like we're girlfriends already.

All right, I knew as I was saying it

that I should just keep my mouth shut.

Aw, I want to braid
your feathers immediately!

Look, uh...

Yeah?

While we're being real honest right now,
I'll tell you why I built my plane.

I built my plane to find my parents.

But I thought you didn't know
where your parents lived.

When Jasper destroyed my
homing beacon, I lost all the pieces.

Except one.

And I thought this, plus some luck
might be enough to find my parents.

So, you sacrificed your plane
for this baby?

- Yeah.
- Why?

Oh, I don't know.
I guess if this baby finds her family,

I mean, it's worth it.

Right?

Fine. You can name her.

- Really?
- Yeah, go ahead.

Diamond Destiny.

Okay, I changed my mind.
You can't name her.

Too late! Her name is Diamond Destiny.
Yes, it is!

I thought it was gonna be,
like, an actual name.

It is a name. Diamond Destiny is her name!

Isn't that right, Diamond Destiny?

We're gonna find your parents,
and everything is gonna be just perfect.

You'll find your family.

You think?

For sure.

Good night.

Good night!

Huh!

What is it? I'm up.

Do you think she's hungry?

Yeah. I don't know.

Uh, maybe she just needs to be rocked.

Okay.

Oh, my gosh.

Her eyes could not be more open.

Okay, grab that end.

It's like we're a family.

We are not like a family.

We're just a guy and a girl
trying to put our baby to sleep.

Let's just put her to sleep.

Come on, close, close, close.

Okay, close. Close, close, close.

That's good, right?
Is that closed enough?

No! Look, I can still see eyeball.

Can we manually close them? Here.

No! Don't do that!
What are you doing?

I'm gonna... Wait!
Okay, give me the eye glue.

- What?
- You know, for gluing eyes shut.

No, we don't have any.

It's gonna stick.

What if she never goes to sleep?

All right, you know what? I got her.

You just go to bed.
You go to bed. It's fine.

No, I don't wanna go to bed
if you're gonna be up. I'll feel bad.

I know. But if I go to bed,

then I'm gonna feel guilty.
And I just can't.

No, that's what I'm saying.
Listen to me.

No, so that's why you go to bed,
and I'll take care of her.

All right. I'll go to bed.

I can't believe you went to bed!

What? You just said it was
okay for me to go bed!

Okay, you know what?

Can we just rock her in our arms?

No. We do not. No loving the baby.

You said "baby."

Fine. I don't care. I don't care.

You love it.

Goodbye, brah!

How you like me now? Huh!

"How you like me now"?

How you like me now?

How do you like me now!

Now there was a time

When you loved me so

I could do no wrong

And now you need to know

Dance break!

How you like me now? How you like me now?

And you're sure you saw this?

Yes, I'm sure I saw this.

All right. Let's keep this quiet.

Yes, sir.

Thank you for your loyalty, Pigeon Toady.

Or should I say boss.

Cool, cool, cool.

Whoa!
Steam room in an elevator. Mind blown!

Shut up! I'm planning.

Oh, that's cool.

All right. Now, listen.

First, we have to stop that delivery.

But we don't know where they're headed.

Indeed. We won't go to them.

We'll make them...

Come to us.

Yes!

Well, I'm off.

You're in a suit suddenly.

Let's go.

My towel blew away.

Junior.

Wake up. We gotta go.

I'm still asleep.

I know, we gotta go, we gotta go.

Just let me sleep a little longer.

Junior. Baby's awake.
Ship's leaving. Let's go!

You do it. You get the baby.

Junior, I'm tired, too!

You made it, you get it.

Hey!

Ooh!

Yes!

Diamond Destiny,
you come back here right now.

I'm not fooling around.

All right, let's go.
We got a boat to catch.

We got a boat to catch, oh!

Here we go. On it.

Home stretch!

We have to be absolutely silent.

One human sees a stork with
a baby and we'll get reported.

All right, last one.
Let's pack it up.

What was that?

Sounds like a baby.

That's very suspicious.

- Why is she doing that?
- I don't know.

Diaper?

Check.

Food?

Check.

Maybe she needs a nap.

Rock-a-bye baby, on the treetop

Nope. What is it? What does she want?

It's coming from over there!

I don't know. She's reaching for you.

Maybe she just wants you.

No. That doesn't make sense.

Technically, she should be
perfectly happy.

What are we gonna do?
What are we gonna do?

I have no idea.

Oh, no!

Oh, no.

She's gonna blow! She's gonna blow!

What do I do with her?

Take her, take her. Just take her!

- Ah, look at that.
- Hmm.

Actually seems to be working pretty well.

Ha! She smells so nice!

Who's got the little sparkly eyes? You do.

You do.

Oh, no! The boat's leaving!

No, no, no! Come on!

Wolf pack. Form of wolf minivan!

Minivan!

Ow, ow, ow...

Give me a break!

- Click, click.
- Click.

My baby!

Ah! We got the Tiny Thing!

This is not a safe way
to transport the baby.

- We're parents now.
- Just go slower.

- You're right, you're right, you're right.
- Slower.

Okay, good.

Is that good, Tiny Thing?

Hmm? Tiny Thing?

We lost her again!

Quick! We can get to
the boat through here.

Ah!

Wait. Why are you running so weird?

What don't I know?

My old nemesis.

"Glass."

Birds can't see glass!

Give us Tiny Thing.

Just go, Tulip. It's too late for me.

You've got the baby.
You can deliver her yourself.

What? No, I'm not leaving you behind!

We can do this. Together!

Where's the Tiny Thing?

- All right. Tulip, you got this!
- Tiny Thing! Tiny Thing!

- Okay, left. Right. Straight.
- Where's the Tiny Thing?

Straight! Left! Right!

Oh, no! I'm panicking!

Uh, right again! Left, I mean. Left!

Right! Right, I mean.

Left! Left! Right! Right!

Left! Left! Left! Right!

Rolft! I mean, ralft!

Right! Left!
I'm just shouting words!

This is not working!

Oh-oh! We did that together!

I ran into every piece of glass.

Some, more than once.

Oh, jeez.

Ah!

What are the chances of that?

I guess, pretty high in a glass factory.

- Tiny Thing! Tiny Thing!
- Come on!

First, we're gonna take Tiny Thing

and raise her to be a strong,
independent woman.

And then,
we're gonna eat you.

We made a great team.

My baby.

That's my baby!

It's Jasper!

My baby!

- No, no, no!
- My baby! My baby! My baby!

Let go!

Let go of us!

Wolf pack, form of...

Broken heart!

Cry! Cry!

Get away from us!

- Get away!
- Stay back!

- Go home!
- Come on!

Don't make me hit you!

- Hey, hey, hey! Let me explain!
- I don't wanna hear it!

When you orphaned me, you said "whoops!"

Whoops! You said "whoops!" Who does that?

Will you please let me explain?

Hey! She doesn't wanna hear
your explanation, guy!

Back off!

I fell in love with you.

Okay, fine.

Honestly, I am very curious.
Let's hear it.

Look, they tell you being
a stork isn't gonna be easy.

Always deliver.

I failed to do that.

Your beacon broke. The pieces scattered.

I spent my entire life

searching for the missing pieces
so that I could deliver my baby.

And yet, after all these years,
I'm still missing one piece.

- But, I have pledged...
- Oh, my gosh! Wait.

To be the parent
I took from you, Tulip.

And I will lay down my life.

I have the missing piece!

Excuse me, what?

I have the missing piece.

My home!

I'm going home!

I'm gonna finally meet my real family.

Oh, my gosh!

This is crazy! Junior, can you believe it?

No, that's so... That's so great.

Yeah, yeah, you should go.

Oh, yeah, well, after we deliver the baby.
But, yeah!

No, no, no. I can take care of the baby.

You should go now.

No, no, no.
We have to finish the delivery.

I'm sorry to cut you off.

You know what's so funny is
just then when you said "real family",

it, like, weirdly hurt my feelings.

But I realized how stupid that is.

I mean, I'm a bird
and you're, like, a sloppy human

and that's not our baby.
It's just some baby.

Well, I mean, we're not, like, a "family",
but we are like a family.

Well, it's like we are
except instead we're more like employees

who are delivering a package,
and that's all.

Do you know what I mean?

And you should go to where you belong.

Now. Do you know what I mean?

No! Junior, we are a team, okay?

We're gonna deliver this baby,

then we're gonna meet my parents,

- then I'm gonna show them Stork Mountain.
- I was supposed to fire you.

Okay?

You were supposed to fire me?

Yeah.

Well, "liberate". "Free". Yes, fire.

And then I didn't,
and then this all happened.

Look, there's nothing waiting for you
back at Stork Mountain.

Who cares though?

It's time for you to go
and meet your real family!

That's exciting, right?

Look, I...

I just think this is
for the best, you know?

It's what you've always wanted.

Yeah, I wanna go meet my family.

So, yeah, I better go now, I guess.

It's gonna be fine.
I'll take good care of her.

- Okay, okay.
- Fine.

Goodbye, little girl.

Have a good trip back home.

You take care...

And be safe.

I'm scared.

They're your family.
They're going to love you.

I'll be right here.

Oh, oh! Give me your camera.

I'd love to capture this family moment.

Okay, camera rolling and action.

Yup. Okay.

Ring the doorbell.

I don't hear a doorbell ringing.

You're right. Let's take our time.

I've only waited my whole life for this!

Tulip?

Hmm?

The storks!

Oh, boy!

- Here we go!
- Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!

- Okay. Big smile!
- I'm a little nervous. Okay.

Everyone, calm down!

This is not to code.

- What?
- This all has to come down.

Hunter?

- You're fired!
- But, but, but...

"But, but, but..."
You are so idiotic!

How were you not suspicious?

I thought it was
a gentrifying neighborhood.

Didn't expect to see you here, brah!

Oh, yes, I did. I set it up.

Seize the thing!

Wait, no! Not the baby!

Don't worry. She's gonna be fine.

She's with penguins.

They have whole documentaries
about how great they are at babysitting.

And she'll be an excellent swimmer.

And then when she's old enough,
we'll return her to the human world.

That's insane! You need to deliver her!

We can't let it get out that the new
boss accidentally made a baby!

Our stock would plummet,
everything we've built.

My entire company will fall apart!

Those parents can never find out.

Okay, we're ready to go.

Who's the baby now?

Good enough.

- "Cease and desist"?
- Why?

This is not up to code,
and quite frankly, it looks dangerous.

We can't tear it down.

'Cause then the storks won't
deliver my baby brother.

The policeman's right, Nate.

They don't deliver babies. Not anymore.

Then why did we do all this stuff?

Because we were having
such fun playing with you.

Oh, honey. We spent time together.

And that's what matters.

So is this like
a ticket thing or a warning thing?

It feels like a warning, right?

Yeah, we are warned.
We are properly warned.

Oh, buddy.

Come on.

What?

Oh, my gosh! Are you okay?

What happened? Where's the baby?

They tied me up and took her.

Why would you think this was her house?

It's surrounded by
a bunch of scary warehouses!

Gentrification!

How could they just take her?
She was your responsibility!

It wasn't my fault, okay?

I'm not blaming you.
I'm just worried about the baby!

Well, I'm also worried,
which is why I'm yelling!

We're yelling 'cause we're wasting time!

How can we
get back to Cornerstore?

You're shopping? What are you doing?

Oh, I see.
You did that so we could hide in the box

and get back to Cornerstore real quick.

- That's right.
- Yeah.

Wait a minute. Junior, what is going on?

What the heck is this?

This is Storkcon.

Once a year, storks come
together for one thing.

Storkcon!

The biggest stork convention
on the planet Earth, where birds and...

- Uh, Junior?
- What?

What are you doing?
We have to save the baby.

I'm just a huge fan of Storkcon.

'Cause it's so cool.

There. Look, look, look!

They're headed
towards the flight deck.

What? It calms me.

Presenting the world's first round box

Sphericus!

Circles can hold dreams!

How are we gonna get through this crowd?

Hello.

I'm full of dreams!

Hey, you guys aren't
supposed to be back here.

Pardon me, big guy.

I'm full of dreams!

Listen to me, Tulip.

Even if we get the baby,
we have no way to get out of here.

Storkcon is huge

for storks come from
all across the world...

Junior, stop talking about Storkcon!

All right, I'm sorry.

It's just really impressive. Here we go.

Put down that baby!

Whoo!

Growth analytics suggest
increased bandwidth

enabling us to silo
creative core components.

I got your text.

Sorry, but we could only find
one jet pack.

All right, give me the pack.
I'm taking her.

- What? No, I'm taking her.
- No way.

When you had her last, you lost her.

- After you left us.
- After you fired me!

'Cause you're bad at everything.

- I wish I'd never met you.
- Whoa! Wow,

well, you know what?
I wish I'd never met you.

The only good thing
to come out of all of this

is this baby, and I am taking her.

This baby is far too precious
and perfect for you. I'm taking her!

- I'm taking her.
- I'm taking her!

- I'm taking her!
- I'm taking her!

What is that?

My pants fell down. Oh, no!

- Where are we going?
- I don't know!

Oh, okay. Not that way.

Not that way either.

Hey, guys.

This is very overwhelming.

Hand over that thing!

Come one step closer,

and I will drop this.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...

Junior, look, hand over the baby,
and we'll let bygones be bygones.

More than that.

You can still be...

Why isn't it working?

One baby?

How about a million!

Wait, no!

Danger. Danger.

I did not think that through.

No!

- Turn it off! Turn it off!
- Aw!

You stop it this instant!

Shut it down! Shut it down!

This is my moment!

Whoa!

Ooh!

Oh, no!

Uh...

Uh-oh.

- Let's go!
- Come on!

Go, go, go! Grab it!

- Over here. I got this one.
- Catch it!

Got it! Whoo!

Out of my way! Out of my way!

Oh, no!

One million babies!

Oh, hi.

- Oh, no!
- No!

Come on!

Now it's time to do what
I should've done so long ago.

Destroy the Baby Factory!

No, you can't.

- Yes, I can.
- No, you can't!

- Yes, I can.
- No, you can't!

We could go on like this all day.
I'm just gonna go on

and destroy the Baby Factory.

Goodbye, baby-making machine.

What the heck?

Told you babies were smart.

Babies are dumb.
Babies are super-duper dumb.

- No, no, no.
- No, no. Wait, no.

- Diamond, give it back!
- You stop it, this instant! Stop! Stop!

Come on!

What?

No!

Whoa!

Now get over here and get me out of here.

Oh!

All right. Don't move.

Whoa!

What?

Oh, no.

No!

Always deliver!

Whoo! You did it!

I can hear my bones.

Yeah, we should land
because this hurts so much.

We did it! We did it! We're a family!

Yes! We're a...

Sorry, I kinda ruined the moment there.

I just have so much internal bleeding.

We're a family!

Look at that.

Uh, what? What? I thought it was broken.

I guess it was just dislocated.

It must've popped back in when we landed.

Oh, yep. What a twist.

- Oh, no.
- Uh...

So many of them.

They're pulling my feathers!

What are we going to do?

All right, everybody.
Gather around. Gather around.

An annoying person
asked me once why I wanna be boss.

Well, I never knew why until today.

Baby delivery is our true calling.

This is not just a bunch of
metal and glass

and whatever that giant
magical crystal-looking thing is made of.

This is the heart of what storks were
put on this Earth to do.

This is our mission.

We pride ourselves on customer service.

Well, this is a family that never
got the baby they asked for.

Make a plan.

Stick to the plan.

Always deliver.

That's great. This is great.
But we don't have any pods.

Wait! Everyone, stop. Would you stop?

Hey!

- What about these?
- Yes!

Thank you, Jasper!

I agree.

Baby delivery is what we're born to do.

Should we do anything about him?

It's...

It's fine.

They're here! Oh, my gosh.

I can't believe it! They're here!

They're here!

Aw...

Sign here.

And sign here.

Initial here.

Initial here, here, and...

I love you, my little lady.

And we always will.

Bye.

Oh, so you deliver to the front door.

So we didn't have to destroy
our entire house.

Yeah.

Yo, Stork! I ordered a brother!

I ordered a brother!

You wanna feed her her bottle?

Ninja skills.

You okay?

Of course. I'm fine.

Oh, this does not feel good.

Is every delivery gonna be like this?

What can I say? It's a terrible business.

I feel so sad all the time.

No. I'm actually fine now.

Yeah, it looks like you're
handling stuff real well.

Yeah. Look good, feel good.

Yeah, pretty cool, man.

Just enjoying it.

You know, I'm here if you
wanna talk about anything.

- I'm here to listen.
- Nope.

Okay, well, it seems like
you're handling it pretty well.

Yeah, I am.

- You're shaking.
- You're shaking!

Junior, it's okay
to let your feelings out.

I'm not feeling.

- It's healthy.
- I have no feelings!

Come on, let it out.

Hey.

We're all right behind you.

Go on.

Who is it, honey?

Who is it, Dad?

Mom and Dad?

All right, guys.

We delivered her.

Let's go.

Junior!

Where are you going? Get over here.

Yeah!

- Come on!
- No, no, no.

You love it.