Storefront Hitchcock (1998) - full transcript

[ Man ]
Storefront Hitchcock--

[ voices overlapping ]

[ Man ] The most important
thing in the world--
it's sitting on the couch.

It's got spikey hair.
It's defiant.

It's filling itself
with garbage.

It's got garbage
in little pots,
and it's eating it.

As it expands,
it begins to eat itself
as well.

It feeds on itself.
It feeds on its own
excrement.

It's delighted.
It's very, very happy.

The more it comes out,
the more it rubs into its
hair.

It's really pleased.



It doesn't say hello
when its parents
walk into the room.

It's that defiant. [ People laughing ]

It raids the fridge
completely disrespectfully.

It may take, you know,
two or three pickles
out of the jar at a time.

It stares out of the window.
It doesn't wear its glasses
in bad light.

It smokes cigarettes.

Sometimes it blunders
into a manhole...

And spends days
walking through the sewers.

But its not repentant.
When it finally comes home,

there's no,
"hello, mom. Hello, dad.
Where have I been?"

It's just, "I stink,
and you're pleased to see me."

[ Laughter continues ]

It's the great civilizing
force of the 20th century.

It's rock 'n' roll. ♪ [ Rock ]



[ Helicopter blades whirring ]

[ Siren wailing ]

[ Car horns honking ]

♪ [ Stops ] [ People applauding,
cheering ]

♪ [ Harmonica ]

[ Applauding, cheering
fades, stops ]

Hi. Is my hair
all right? [ Man ] Beautiful.

Okay, let's go.♪ [ Harmonica, guitar ]

♪ Darling

♪ you don't have
to call me Stalin ♪

♪ or even mao tse-tung

♪ 'cause I'm far too young

♪ my rising

♪ sign is capricorn
is that surprising ♪

♪ you know that I was born
so very soft ♪

♪ and easygoing

♪ I make no trouble
at all ♪

♪ I was listening

♪ yeah, I was listening

♪ to the devil's radio

♪ I was listening

♪ yeah, I was listening

♪ to the devil's radio

♪ and it went
na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪ on the devil's radio

♪ [ whistling ]

♪ Evil

♪ it's tentacles are blind
it's like a weevil ♪

♪ it Burrows through the land

♪ and everybody smiles

♪ everybody smiles

♪ Michael

♪ don't you know someday
a spike'll ♪

♪ grow right through
the woodwork ♪

♪ and come out
through your palm ♪

♪ we was listenin'

♪ ah, we was listenin'

♪ to the devil's radio

♪ we was listenin'

♪ yeah, we was listenin'

♪ to the devil's radio

♪ and it went
na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪ on the devil's radio

♪ [ whistling ]

♪ Sun sets on the devil

♪ sun sets on the west

♪ he's listening to
the fm talk show ♪

♪ that's what he loves
the best ♪

♪ Limbaugh

♪ Or that hateful smile

♪ Kate said

♪ the flowers of intolerance
and hatred ♪

♪ are blooming kind of early
this year ♪

♪ someone's
been watering them ♪

♪ we was listenin'

♪ ah, we was listenin'

♪ to the devil's radio

♪ we was listenin'

♪ yeah, we was listenin'

♪ to the devil's radio

♪ and it went
na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪ I'm not the devil's radio

♪ and I said
na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪ you're the devil's radio

[ applause, whistling ]

Thanks. [ Applause continues ]

Thank you.
This is about the time
that everything stopped.

You know,

I think at
-283 degrees centigrade...

All molecular motion ceases.

And you get the same
kind of thing with years.

Sometimes people say
the march of time is inexorable.

But it definitely speeds up
and slows down.

And this is the point where
everything just... died.

Actually, it occurs to me,
that's not true
in the gay community.

It probably was quite
an exciting time.

But in the sort of
hetero-hippie community
that spawned me,

it was strictly deadsville.

So I'm here
to sing about it.

♪

♪ You have two coffees

♪ one of them is one coffee
too many for you ♪

♪ on a health kick

♪ yeah, trying to lead
a middle-aged life ♪

♪ well, it's

♪ either that or drop dead

♪ wait till you get older
than this ♪

♪ and then turn around
and tell me ♪

♪ I was young for my age

♪ yeah

♪ and it feels like 1974

♪ waiting for the waves
to come and crash
on the shore ♪

♪ but you're far inland

♪ mmm

♪ you're in funky denim
wonderland ♪

♪ you and David Crosby
and a bloke with no hand ♪

♪ you've got hair
in places ♪

♪ most people
haven't got brains ♪

♪ ooh
but it feels like 1974 ♪

♪ Syd Barrett's last session
he can't sing anymore ♪

♪ he's gonna have to be
Roger now ♪

♪ for the rest of his life

♪ oh

♪ enough about me

♪ let's talk about you

♪ you were working
at the earth exchange ♪

♪ and half 22

♪ "rebel, rebel"
was your favorite song ♪

♪ on the archway road

♪ where it all belonged

♪ all those molecules
of time ♪

♪ that you thought
you'd shed forever ♪

♪ all those
inches of time ♪

♪ that you thought
you could just say
bye-bye ♪

♪ and as Nixon left
the white house
you could hear people say ♪

♪ they'll never
rehabilitate that mother
no way ♪

♪ yep

♪ whirry-whirry
goes the helicopter
out of my way ♪

♪ I got a president
to dump in the void ♪

♪ ooh

♪ python's last series
and the guardiansaid ♪

♪ the stench of rotting minds

♪ but what else
could you smell back then ♪

♪ you didn't have to inhale
too hard ♪

♪ you could smell the heads
festering in the back yard ♪

♪ there's a baby
in a basket ♪

♪ and it's taken your name

♪ and one day
it'll grow up and say ♪

♪ who are you

♪ eh

♪ and you say
that's where it ended ♪

♪ but I said
no, no, no ♪

♪ it just faded away

♪ August was gray

♪ oh, it feels like 1974

♪ ghastly mellow saxophones
all over the floor ♪

♪ it feels like 1974

♪ you could vote for labour
but you can't anymore ♪

♪ it feels like 1974

♪ digging led zeppelin
in grimsby ♪

♪ oh, Christ

[ applause, cheering ]

[ Mutters ]

All right.
I'm going to remove
the second cone.

This is deni bonet,
the human pumpkin girl.

[ Applause ]

♪ [ Checks tuning ]

[ Muttering ]

If you stand up properly,
it's possible to make yourself--

there's these techniques
called Alexander technique...

For actors and people
who have incredibly
bad posture...

But enough money
to try and get over it.

You can actually make yourself
grow two or three inches
by doing this stuff correctly.

They align you as if
your spine was an endless
plate of crockery.

They kind of line it up
properly so that it won't tip.

Most of our spines
zigzag heinously,
and, in fact,

you can go up for miles.

As you know,
people get taller.

The average human height
increases by one and a half
inches every 100 years.

Julius Caesar
would have only come up
to your pelvis.

You could have
broiled him, you know.
He would have been no trouble.

Those legions
were just midgets.

I went to an astrologer's house
in wherever that place is...

With the Rose-colored rocks--
Arizona.

It was built for astronomers
in the fifth century b.C.

All the doors
were really tiny.

They were about the size
of cucumber frames--
the height, anyway.

So I pictured all these
cucumbers going into
the astronomer's house...

And kind of spiraling up
the stairs and then
looking out.

Anyway, what they were
planning to do is make people--

because people were eating
more and more pure beef,
which, as you know,

is probably the best
possible food stuff
that the world can produce.

But one of the reasons
that we were created--

that Siemens and glaxo
and virgin and Disney
got together and said,

"let there be humanity"--

was that so
we could eat beef.

And I'm very proud of
our wonderful country that
they haven't forgotten that.

[ Sparse applause ] Thank you.

Let's just hope
that the conservatives
got in again, shall we?

If you're watching this
in the future,

I come from a time when
there was a two-party system.

But things have glibbed
towards an inevitable monopoly.

People haven't complained
about the eastern bloc
being a monopoly for years.

This is exactly what's happened
in the west.

There's now just--
when the final big fish fillets
the last medium-sized fish...

And absorbs it--
[ Makes swishing sound ]
Like that,

there will just be
one big fish with
a distended stomach.

Anyway, back to the beef.
Let's not forget this.

People are supposed to be
just getting bigger and bigger.

As you know,
Neil Armstrong was 7 foot 7.

If you've been
to the Smithsonian,

you've seen
that those capsules--

the Mercury capsule
and the gemini capsule--
they're very tiny.

They actually look like
the stonehenge in
the spinal tapthing...

Where it comes down
on a spider's web. [ Laughter ]

But this is a posthumous
public relations thing by NASA.

In fact,
these men were giants,
because they were put into--

also, actually in Arizona--
they were put into
a government site...

And fed irradiated,
carbonated beef for two years,
and they became very tall.

Their capsules were huge.

Anyway, they're planning
for the rest of US
to follow suit.

And I got so angry
I wrote this song.

♪

[ Applause ]

♪ Look at the cloud
above the bus stop ♪

♪ it's in the shape
of you and I ♪

♪ swarming around US in
an ever-shifting circle ♪

♪ in the sky

♪ Look at me down there
on the viaduct ♪

♪ covered in grease
and lime and scales ♪

♪ murmuring thank you
thank you ♪

♪ to the romsey gravel

♪ in the gales

♪ Ooh

♪ a happy bird
is a filthy bird ♪

♪ Ooh

♪ a happy bird
is a filthy bird ♪

[ Violin imitates
seagull ]

♪ Soaring away
above the chessboard ♪

♪ many's the eagle
on the wing ♪

♪ checking their instruments
before they bomb
the children ♪

♪ as they sing

♪ there's a place
for everything ♪

♪ ooh

♪ a happy bird
is a filthy bird ♪

♪ Ooh

♪ a happy bird
is a filthy bird ♪

[ Violin imitates
seagull ]

♪ Splash my cold enamel
with blood ♪

♪ a rondezvous with stone
will leave you bleeding ♪

♪ drop by drop

♪ I set your face
in stone ♪

♪ ah

♪ ah

♪ ah

[ violin imitates
seagull ]

♪ Look at the massacre
on cable ♪

♪ but you know
it won't happen here ♪

♪ we're all too busy
watching massacres on cable ♪

♪ oh, yeah

♪ Ooh

♪ a happy bird
is a filthy bird ♪

♪ Ooh

♪ a happy bird
is a filthy bird ♪

♪ Ooh

♪ a happy bird
is a filthy bird ♪

♪ Ooh

♪ a happy bird
is a filthy bird ♪

[ Applause, hooting ] [ No audible dialogue ]

[ No audible dialogue ] [ Applause continues ]

Oh, yeah.
We're still here.

♪ [ Adjusts tuning ]

Um, yeah,
this is another one.

Okay.

The thing is,
I don't know why people
actually introduce songs,

because the song itself
is its introduction
to itself.

It's like,
if you meet somebody
named Martha,

they say,
"this is Martha."

I mean, you know,

that person happens to be
known as Martha,

just as I might
be called bloomingdale's...

Or deni might be called
staten island.

But that's really
the beginning of the story.

Martha is a whole mass
of molecules and complexes...

And things bound together
by terrifying physical
improbabilities.

The truth is,
she could fly apart
at any moment,

like some
terrible pent-up lock
that's waiting to snap...

And spatter her psyche
across the universe.

God knows--
it is disgusting, deni.
It's life.

If it weren't for our
rib cages, there would
just be spleens a-go-go.

I mean, people are just
held in by all this stuff,

and then they're called,
almost insultingly,
a single name.

It's the same with a song.
I could say
what the song's called,

which isn't going to be
much of a clue, unless
you've heard it before.

Or I can explain
what it's about,
and I'm going to be lying.

So, in the end,
there's not much point
in it really.

Ah, that's interesting.
There's some people polishing
a gun carriage over there.

One of those brass
18th century things
for storing in time capsules.

There's a very thin line
between torture and cosmetics.

[ Laughter ] [ Chuckles ]
I wonder--

now's our chance
to cross it.

Okay, take a deep breath
and yip-a-dang.

One, two, three, four!

♪

♪ I'm completely gray
you're completely mad ♪

♪ you're a middle-aged baby
and the world is bad ♪

♪ let's go thundering

♪ in a juicy chasm
down a mossy chine ♪

♪ I can feel your tongue
running down my spine ♪

♪ let's go thundering

♪ let's go thundering

♪ ah, your breath is sweet

♪ it's beyond belief

♪ and your mouth
curls 'round like a leaf ♪

♪ oh, the sky is bruised

♪ kind of overcast

♪ it's about to rain

♪ this bit always
goes so fast ♪

♪ let's go thundering

♪ let's go thundering

♪ 'cause you gotta go

♪ yes, you gotta go now

♪ oh, you gotta go

yep.

♪ When the thunder breaks
and the lightening flash ♪

♪ I'll be in your heart
even if we crash ♪

♪ when the thunder breaks
and the rain comes down ♪

♪ in the naked light
I will kiss your gown ♪

♪ let's go thundering

♪ let's go thundering

a one.

A two.

A three.

Yep.

♪ There's a jeweled box
by your fleecy bed ♪

♪ and your fingernails
caress my head ♪

♪ you're the one I love
you're the one I've got ♪

♪ you're the one I'm with
even when I'm not ♪

♪ let's go thundering

♪ let's go thundering

♪ thundering

♪ thundering

♪ thundering

♪ thundering

♪ thundering, thundering

♪ thundering, thundering

♪ let's go thundering

[ applause, hooting ]

Ms. Deni bonet...

Who is not far away.

I don't know what kind
of church you like
to imagine,

but I like to imagine
a church full of carcasses.

[ Laughter ] Um--

you know, there's one big
carcass at the end
in extreme pain,

and there's a lot of carcasses
in various stages of agony
kneeling towards it.

And maybe,
coming down the aisle,
there's two kind of...

Proto-carcasses
with their hacked
and mangled digits...

Bonded together
in a bloody welt,

and they're being clubbed
by a priest. [ Clapping, laughter ]

Now, let it come, brother.
Let it come.

And, um,
that's what we're here for.
We're testifying.

We don't know what for,
but we're testifying
to something.

And, you know,
outside the church
there's even more carcasses,

who hopefully
are at rest.

Above the church there is
sort of a huge mega-carcass...

With a long white beard
and a top hat...

Who's going,
"well done, my children."

There's another who's
on his mobile phone
to the bloke in the vestry...

Or whatever it is, who says,
"I think we got more in
than usual, lord."

And he says,
"okay, wang it up next time."

♪

♪ [ stops ] I mean, it's very dangerous
to mock people's beliefs,

because you can
be tortured and destroyed
by other human beings.

Very seldom do divine forces
actually wreak their vengeance
on you,

but it's very dangerous
to be an infidel
in someone's eyes.

I believe very firmly in god,
in terms of spirituality.

I also have
an infinite contempt
for religion,

which I think is hijacking
people's spirituality
for political purposes.

I think religion
is perilously close
to pornography in that respect.

[ Scattered applause ]

♪

♪ Said, I'm a Willow

♪ bending in your mind

♪ I'm a mirror cracked

♪ from side to side

♪ I'm a snow-covered mountain
in an empty room ♪

♪ I'm a house that
burns down every night ♪

♪ for you

♪ said I'm a doorway

♪ leading to the dark

♪ I'm a liquid you're
dissolving in ♪

♪ I'm a policeman working
in an empty house ♪

♪ I'm a distant steeple on a

♪ long-abandoned plain

♪ sometimes when I'm lonely

♪ baby, then I'm only you

♪ Said I'm a pattern

♪ on a China bowl

♪ I'm a memory

♪ engraved upon your soul

♪ I'm a prison cell
without a door ♪

♪ I'm a distant steeple

♪ on a frosty window pane

♪ sometimes when I'm lonely

♪ baby, then I'm only you

♪ sometimes when I'm lonely

♪ baby, then I'm only you

♪ [ Ends ] [ Applause, cheering ]

[ Applause, cheering
continue ]

♪

♪ Seems like you were in
a glass hotel ♪

♪ seems like

♪ seems like

♪ seems like there was
someone else as well ♪

♪ it seems like

♪ it seems

♪ it seems like everything
was going well ♪

♪ it seems like

♪ it seems like

♪ you were up there
in your glass hotel ♪

♪ it seems like

♪ a dream

♪ oh, the radio was playing

♪ in the darkness
of the hall ♪

♪ there was someone
standing with you ♪

♪ who just wasn't there
at all ♪

♪ and you were laughing

♪ Oh, a telephone
was ringing ♪

♪ in a corridor of blue

♪ a geranium came out of it

♪ reminded me of you

♪ and I was crying

♪ seems like you were
in a glass hotel ♪

♪ it seems like

♪ it seems like

♪ seems like there was
someone else as well ♪

♪ it seems like

♪ it seems

♪ oh, there's nothing
in the future ♪

♪ and there's nothing
in the past ♪

♪ there is only
this one moment ♪

♪ and you gotta
make it last ♪

♪ and you were laughing

♪ in

♪ a glass

♪ hotel

[ applause, cheering ]

[ Whistling ]

Ah, yeah,
when you extinguish
the candle,

then you have
to pay the penalty.

The penalty is that
you're transported
from here by two minotaurs,

which, as you know,
are human up to the neck,
and then they have bulls' heads.

Uh, they have
real bulls' heads.

They're not just wearing
bull-head masks.

They actually become bull
from the neck up.

The minotaurs have
a lot of duct tape,

and they swaddle you in it.

Or gaffer tape,
if you're watching
in england.

You're swaddled in duct tape,
and you're carried away
by the two minotaurs...

Down an endless
series of ducts.

Then you're pinpointed
just above about...

2,723 feet above sea level,

and you are fired out
over central London.

Then you come down.

It's the reverse
of normal gravity.

It actually gets slower
as you get nearer to the ground.

So you run out of momentum
about eight feet
above Leicester square.

And everybody thinks
that you're a bomb--
a thermonuclear device--

'cause we've always been
brought up in our folk stories
in britain...

That the bomb would detonate
above ground to achieve
maximum devastation.

So as they see this thing,
which is you,

swaddled in duct tape,
coming down over central London,

people begin to flee. [ Laughter ]

There's enormous
traffic congestion,
especially on the a4...

But also on some of
the other main routes,

like the beginning
of the a1--

whatever it's called--
highbury corner
and all that stuff.

It gets more and more cluttered,
and people are fleeing.

They're starting
to tread on each other
in their panic.

They're spilling cups of honey
and knocking over theodolites...

And retort stands and trivets
and all those sorts of things.

A lot of people
are blundering through
ancient chemical apparatus.

There's stuff
that people have got--

people with slides--

you know, slides of tissue.
Things like corroded lungs.

They're spilling that
in their panic.

They're saying,
"just one more cup of coffee,
Ms. Patterson."

Then it's getting spilled
as well, and they're
getting more disturbed.

And rubber tires,
which have never seen
the outside of a wheel--

they're just cosmetic--

come smashing through
the venetian blinds,

and they knock over
the paper cups
and they hit the files,

and the computers all go blank
and the buildings,
begin to shake.

They notice there's something
wrong underground,

so they have a strike
underground.

Hundreds of passengers
are trapped underground...

As you get closer and closer
to the surface.

Then, just eight feet
above Leicester square,
you stop.

[ Laughter ]

♪

♪ I something you

♪ as the nights get older

♪ I something you

♪ as if you couldn't see

♪ in the best years
of my life ♪

♪ at least I haven't
got a wife ♪

♪ I something you

♪ you whatnot me

♪ I something you

♪ as the dead things molder

♪ in Leicester square

♪ that's the place to be

♪ after all
these ruined years ♪

♪ let me realize your fears

♪ I something you

♪ you whatnot me

♪ in this kind of song

♪ middle bits
are so predictable ♪

♪ but you came along

♪ you were not
at all predictable ♪

♪ I didn't think
you'd be like this ♪

♪ I didn't think
you'd be like this ♪

♪ well, I didn't even think

♪ you could be like this

♪ that you'd be like this

♪ that I'd feel
like this, but ♪

♪ I something you

♪ as the nights get colder

♪ and you heat up

♪ and you are next to me

♪ in the twilight
of this world ♪

♪ you are my Dutch-Australian
Hungarian-Jewish girl ♪

♪ I something you

♪ you whatnot me

♪ I something you

♪ you something me

♪ [ ends ] [ Applause ]

[ Man ]
Whoo!

[ Applause continues ]

And while we're on
this kind of a roll,

this is the most upbeat song
I've ever written.

It's about death from cancer.

[ Sparse laughter ] One, two, three, four!

♪ Yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip
yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip ♪

♪ yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip
yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip ♪

♪ yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip
yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip ♪

♪ yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip
yip-yip-yip ♪

♪ this old man

♪ he was flesh

♪ they wheeled him in
upon a trolley ♪

♪ Vera Lynn, Vera Lynn

♪ draw a window
on his skin, now ♪

♪ Vera Lynn-nin-nin-nin-nin
nin-nin-nin-nin-nin-nin ♪

♪ Vera Lynn-nin-nin-nin-nin
nin-nin-nin-nin-nin-nin ♪

♪ this old man

♪ he was next

♪ blindfolded
to face the volley ♪

♪ Vera Lynn, Vera Lynn

♪ love will come
of all our sins ♪

♪ paint that on
my tail fin, now ♪

♪ Vera Lynn-nin-nin-nin-nin
nin-nin-nin-nin-nin-nin-nin ♪

♪ Vera Lynn-nin-nin-nin-nin
nin-nin-nin-nin-nin-nin-nin ♪

♪ this old man persevered

♪ in his mind
he lay with Molly ♪

♪ Vera Lynn, Vera Lynn

♪ cleanse US with
your healing grin ♪

♪ septicemia always wins, now

♪ Vera Lynn-nin-nin-nin-nin
nin-nin-nin-nin-nin-nin ♪

♪ Vera Lynn-nin-nin-nin-nin
nin-nin-nin-nin-nin-nin ♪

♪ coma high

♪ coma low

♪ blood is precious
yes or no ♪

♪ I believe

♪ in surgery

♪ and that's a fact

♪ I believe

♪ in making it easy

♪ I believe

♪ in surgery

♪ but I never act

♪ I believe

♪ in making it easy

♪ easy

♪ easy

♪ easy

♪ easy

♪ easy

♪ easy

♪ oh, yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip
yip-yip-yip-yip-yip ♪

♪ yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip
yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip ♪

♪ yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip
yip-yip-yip-yip ♪

♪ yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip
yip-yip-yip-yip ♪

♪ this old man

♪ he was gone

♪ he was gone
and I was sorry ♪

♪ Vera Lynn, Vera Lynn

♪ down I spiral
down I spin ♪

♪ forces' sweetheart
I'm your twin, now ♪

♪ Vera Lynn-nin-nin-nin-nin
nin-nin-nin-nin-nin-nin ♪

♪ Vera Lynn-nin-nin-nin-nin
nin-nin-nin-nin-nin-nin ♪

♪ yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip
yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip ♪

♪ yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip
yip-yip-yip-yip-yip ♪

♪ yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip
yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip ♪

♪ yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip
yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip ♪

[ Applause, hooting ] [ Man ]
Yeah!

[ Applause, hooting
continue ]

We appear to be
completely unobserved. [ Laughter ]

Uh, we talked about getting
a basically informal setting
for this,

and it looks like
we've succeeded.

♪ [ Checks tuning ]

What was the kindly old lady
made of?

♪

♪ when you

♪ take me

♪ into a field

♪ of glass and rain

♪ and then

♪ you get me

♪ looking again

♪ I say Caroline

♪ no need to spell it
backwards ♪

♪ that's enilorac

♪ you say
don't turn your back ♪

♪ I am not me

♪ when you

♪ take me

♪ onto a lake

♪ of frozen storms

♪ and then

♪ you tell me

♪ as it gets

♪ cold

♪ you get warm again

♪ and then
as you get warmer ♪

♪ you perform again

♪ you heat me up
and smile ♪

♪ I am not me

♪ but sha-la

♪ la-la

♪ me

♪ oh, sha-la

♪ la-la

♪ me

♪ when I

♪ take you

♪ into the chamber

♪ of the sun

♪ and then

♪ you take me

♪ 'cause it's a

♪ deal

♪ I say, Caroline

♪ no need to be so naked

♪ we've been introduced

♪ you say
that's your excuse ♪

♪ I am not me

♪ but sha-la

♪ la-la

♪ me

♪ oh, sha-la

♪ la-la

♪ me, two, three, four

♪ [ Ends ] [ Applause ]

[ Adjusts amplifier ]

♪ [ Adjusts tuning ]

[ Applause continues ]

This is about somebody
who's...

Really gone.

♪

♪ All of the colors ran out

♪ 'round mid-November, oh

♪ we was a-scuttle-about

♪ do you remember, oh

♪ you left your radio on

♪ with berries all over it

♪ when all the music
was gone ♪

♪ you were in mauve a bit

♪ something about you

♪ you and oblivion

♪ something about you

♪ you and oblivion

♪ you held on tight
to the rail ♪

♪ I held the other one

♪ seeking
your personal grail ♪

♪ just like
your mother's one ♪

♪ gliding past hedges
and clocks ♪

♪ off to infinity

♪ I can remember
your locks ♪

♪ and your virginity

♪ something about you

♪ you and oblivion

♪ something about you

♪ you and oblivion

♪ Sitting alone
by the tombs ♪

♪ under the obelisk

♪ mixing up powders
with brooms ♪

♪ you should
have got a whisk ♪

♪ this is the month
of the dead ♪

♪ leaves on
your ouija board ♪

♪ carry them 'round
in your head ♪

♪ they've got free

♪ room and board

♪ yeah

♪ right when the death train
got your ma ♪

♪ right when the death train
got my pa ♪

♪ let's slip your hand
on the platform ♪

♪ said I must be going
yeah ♪

♪ see you

♪ see you

♪ all of the colors
ran out ♪

♪ 'round mid-November, oh

♪ we was a-scuttle-about

♪ do you remember, oh

♪ something about you

♪ you and oblivion

♪ something about you

♪ you and oblivion

♪ you and oblivion

♪ you and oblivion

[ adjusting floor pedal ]

[ Applause, hooting,
whistling ]

♪ [ Adjusts tuning ] [ Applause continues ]

I don't come from anywhere
particularly,

but inasmuch as I come
from anywhere,

I come from
this diamond-shaped island
at the bottom of england.

It sort of slots into the bottom
as if Great Britain
was laying an egg.

It's like
this diamond-shaped egg
which is the isle of wight.

There's some very beautiful
bits of cliff and beach there.

But it's very soft.
The bottom of the island
is disappearing...

At the rate of about
ten feet a year.

The stuff just goes,
and it doesn't seem
to come back.

So I worked out that
the cliffs that I pace,

in another
hundred years time,

will have disappeared
completely...

And that my ghost will be,
you know, 50 feet
above the beach.

There must be
other ghosts out to sea.

As the ghosts get
further out to sea,
their costumes get older.

So you've got ghosts
from the '50s
about 20 feet out.

You've got
world war ii ghosts
just beyond that.

Then you've got
great war ghosts
with their goggles.

Edwardian ghosts
with their m

and victorian ghosts
with their cravats and canes...

And jacobean ghosts
with their legs.

And, uh, it just goes back on,
whatever they had.

Those things to stop them
smelling too bad.

And, um, about a mile
out to sea, there must be
cro-magnon ghosts...

Just clubbing each other
to death and grinning.

And I guess there's gonna be
a few more of those
inland as well.

Anyway, this is a song
from my ghost to those
who walk underneath it.

I mean, which-- which may
well be computers,
actually.

If, uh, any of you computers
are watching this
in 50 years' time,

we're the people
that put you here.

We are god.
We're terribly sorry.

You know, our god
never apologized to US. [ Laughter ]

He made US bow down
and fucking worship him
for centuries.

Every time he slapped US
in the face we had to go,

"oh, great
is thy mercy, o lord.
Have another sacrifice."

[ Laughter ]

"I've chopped off this arm.
Will the leg do?"
You know.

"Elmer, get off the leg!"

Uh, so anyway,
we apologize.
We're not responsible.

We created you.
We're extinct.

♪ [ Playing mid-tempo,
major-key arpeggios ]

♪ And in the element
of light ♪

♪ the sun reflected
from the waves ♪

♪ inshore it spangles

♪ the child of air
is borne ♪

♪ upon the wind that blows
across the sea ♪

♪ And in the element
of summer ♪

♪ the cliff suspended
in the heat ♪

♪ the air in columns

♪ the tiny figures
of the world ♪

♪ are walking underneath
your feet ♪

♪ and underneath your hair

♪ where angels wander

♪ I'll wander too

♪ where angels wander

♪ over you

♪ And in the element
of darkness ♪

♪ the starlight shimmers
on the spray ♪

♪ and falls towards you

♪ your perfect lover
never there ♪

♪ and if she was
she wouldn't be ♪

♪ and neither would you

♪ save your illusions

♪ for someone else

♪ save your illusions

♪ for yourself

♪ for yourself

♪ [ raga-style solo ]

♪ [ Arpeggios ]

♪ And in the element
of laughter ♪

♪ quick explosion
and the slow ♪

♪ return of sorrow

♪ the tide recedes
upon the bones ♪

♪ of something beautiful
and drowned ♪

♪ in coral and in Jade

♪ where angels hover

♪ I'll hover too

♪ where angels hover

♪ over you

♪ over you

♪ over you

♪ [ Ends ]

[ Applause ]

♪ [ Up-tempo rock beat ]

♪ There's a justice
in this world ♪

♪ and I know just what
she's called ♪

♪ she's called Elaine

♪ there's a dead man
in your heart ♪

♪ and he takes up
too much room ♪

♪ and I know just what
he's called ♪

♪ he's called Steve

♪ [ playing bluesy
single-note riffs ♪

♪ There's a farmer
in the clouds ♪

♪ and he's sowing
golden seeds ♪

♪ and he's feeding
on your dreams ♪

♪ that's the only thing
you need ♪

♪ and I know just what
he's called ♪

♪ he's called ray

♪ I'm starting to freeze

♪ freeze

♪ freeze

♪ I know who wrote
the book of love ♪

♪ it was an idiot

♪ it was a fool

♪ a slobbering fool
with a speech defect ♪

♪ and a shaking hand

♪ and he wrote my name

♪ next to yours

♪ but it should have been
David byrne or somebody ♪

♪ There's a justice
in this world ♪

♪ and she's cruel
but she's fair ♪

♪ and I know just what
she's called ♪

♪ she's called Elaine

♪ [ single-note lead ]

♪ [ Ends ]

[ Applause ]

[ Robyn ] I remove
the third cone, and there's
captain Keegan and the tomato.

[ Applause ]

[ Muttering ]

[ Laughs ]

Total hysteria.
And why not?

Uh, this is a really
comfortable song.

It's the musical
equivalent of a sofa...

Or a contour-fitted chair.

It's unable to cause you
any pain whatsoever.

I mean, you know,
unless actually hearing
the harmonics...

Of this kind of thing
is painful.

But it's designed
not to upset you in the least.

It's-it's not even bland.

You know, you couldn't say,
"this is annoyingly
comfortable."

It's like--
I was in a lobby once
in Minneapolis and, uh--

in fact, there was
a whole hotel on top of it
as well.

And I was in the lobby,
and it was icy outside.

There were people
with ice picks,

and they were just hauling
themselves along the surface...

Like they do when, you know,
they turn the screen
horizontally.

And they were inching
their way along nicolett mall.

And there was
a howling blizzard,

and inside it was very--
it was--

there was this muzak playing
in the lobby,
and I had a hangover.

And I was carrying
a meat cleaver,
and I went up to the desk,

and I said, "could you turn
the muzak down, please?"

And they said, "I'm sorry, si.
We can't."

And I said--
I took my cleaver out-- [ Laughter ]

And I said, "why not?"
And they said,
"because it's pleasing."

[ Laughter ]

Okay. If you start,
then I'll follow you.

♪ [ Strumming
acoustic guitar ]

♪ [ Playing arpeggios ]

♪ I gotta go

♪ but it won't be so
I don't be back again ♪

♪ I gotta leave

♪ but I don't believe
we won't be back again ♪

[ Together ]
♪ no, no, no, no

♪ everything's inside
another ♪

♪ no, no, no, no, no

♪ all right, yeah

♪ I gotta walk

♪ but I'm gonna put
my fork next to your spoon ♪

♪ I gotta split

♪ it's a quaint
old-fashioned way
to leave the room ♪

♪ mmm

♪ smell them
burning leaves ♪

♪ every one beside another

♪ no, no, no, no, no

♪ all right, yeah

♪ whatever you pray to

♪ that's where you belong

♪ I'm gonna get mine someday

♪ I'm gonna get mine

♪ I gotta laugh

♪ but there's half of me
that wants ♪

♪ to sit and cry

♪ I've gotta split

♪ it's a quaint
old-fashioned way ♪

♪ to say good-bye

♪ good-bye

♪ what's your mother for

♪ not a launch pad
for your father ♪

♪ no, no, no, no, no

♪ all right, yeah

♪ all right, yeah

♪ all right, yeah ♪ do, do, do, do
do, do, do, do, do ♪

[ Applause ]

You know, when you think
you're right about things,

that can make you
very bitter.

If the rest of the world
doesn't happen to go along...

With your way of seeing things,

and if the rest of the world
includes someone you've
been close to,

then you feel worse.

♪ No

♪ I don't remember guildford

♪ what, was there something

♪ jog my memory

♪ not the cathedral
or the pool ♪

♪ if there's a pool

♪ I'm a little past it

♪ I'm near enough
to be scorched ♪

♪ not blasted

♪ but

♪ no

♪ I don't remember

♪ jenner road

♪ even though we lived there

♪ and things came through
the letter box ♪

♪ thick and fast

♪ it's in the past

♪ it's in the bracken

♪ did something happen

♪ the sky just blackened

♪ now there's a butterfly

♪ on my face

♪ and I'm a number

♪ in a drawer

♪ [ scatting ]

♪ Hang up your net, child

♪ show some respect

♪ to the ghosts that are
ruining your life ♪

♪ it's your life

♪ No

♪ I don't remember falling

♪ from a flagpole

♪ onto a taxi

♪ to leave my imprint

♪ and my entrails

♪ for you to kiss

♪ in the morning sun

♪ [ scatting ]

♪ No

♪ I don't remember
guildford ♪

[ Applause, hooting ]

Uh, j.D., should we--
should we knock it off
at this point?