Stop! Look! and Laugh! (1960) - full transcript

Paul Winchell is trying to tell stories to Knucklehead and Jerry Mahoney who of course are his ventriloquist props. But the Three Stooges keep inserting themselves into his tales giving them a different interpretation.

♪ Stop

♪ Look

♪ Laugh

♪ When the Stooges
start to clown

♪ Stop, look And laugh

♪ When the dummies
goof around

♪ Stop, look And laugh

♪ When those
crazy chimpanzees

♪ Do the things
that people do

♪ Call it monkey business
if you please

♪ For if it pleases you

♪ Then get in
and join the fun

♪ Stop, look And laugh

♪ And we do mean everyone

♪ Stop, look And laugh

♪ Here's the show
that you can bet

♪ It's the show
you won't forget

♪ So on your
marks get set

♪ And stop, look And laugh ♪


Come on, Jerry, up and at them.

Oh, no.

What time is it, Winch?

It can't be.
It's still dark out.

Hey, that's right. It's
usually light by 7:30.

I guess the clock is wrong.

Oh, well, you can go back to sleep.

Thanks, Winch.

That's funny.

The clock has never been wrong before.

But it sure is dark out.

Boy, it's pitch-black.

Well, I guess I'll let in some fresh air.

How do you like that little character?

He painted the window black

so I'd think it was still night out.

- [ Jerry.
- ]


Don't holler.

Well, then rise and shine.

Remember, the early bird catches the worm.

Yech! I don't like worms.

Wake me up for toast and coffee.

No, no, you don't. No.
Don't go back to sleep.

Now, look, you. You've been
late for school twice this week.

Now, come on. Let's go. Oh, I'm so tired.

That's too bad.
Come on now.

You just get washed and hurry along.

I guess I'll put on the coffee.



Ought to be ready in a minute or two.


Hey, Jerry, hurry up, will ya?

I wanna get washed too.



Don't holler.
Don't holler.

How did you get back in bed?

It's easy. When I came out of the bathroom,

I made a left turn at the dresser.

Jerry, I don't understand.

Every day it gets harder and
harder to get you out of bed.

Now, come on, you've got to get washed

and you've got to go to school.

Yeah, but...
Nevermind buts.

Just get in there,

and hurry it up, will you?

Oh, that kid.

Every day, every day the same thing.

Jerry. Jerry!

Don't holler.

Now, look, you. Look,
you, you come with me.

You see, I've had enough of this nonsense.

Now, into the closet.

Come on. Take off your
pajamas and put on your clothing.

And hurry it up, young man.

I wanna see a little speed.

That's what I call speed.

You ready, Jerry?


Oh, no, not again.



Now, where did he go...


Don't holler.

Look, you, come on with me.

You and I are going to have breakfast.

Look, you, if you don't
start showing some energy,

you're gonna do very, very badly in school.

I don't think I'm gonna do so hot anyway.

Why not?

Well, we got a couple of tests today.

On what?
On how the world began.

You don't know how the world began?

Well, it was a little bit before my time.

Very funny.

Well, it's a little late now,

but perhaps I can explain it to you fast.


in the very beginning,
everything was darkness.



Then suddenly there was light.

Then came the first image of man.

Hey, Moe, wait!

Spread out.

Oh, a wise guy, eh?

And then came water.

Water, water,

and more water.


Come on, get up.
Get out of here.

What do you think this is,
a camping ground? Close it up.

Come on, get that out of here.

Yeah, we'll get it.

In there.

That's all for today.

How many of you guys are riveters?

- Here we are.
- Here, here.

At your service, buddy.

Three of the best riveters
that ever riveted.

Okay, we pay one dollar an hour.

Pal, you just hired
yourself three good men.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where do we start?
On the 97th floor.

Ninety-seventh floor?

Hop on that girder and get up to work.

Hurry up, lame-brain.

Hey, what's that thing?

In case we got to bail out.

Hey, Moe.

Don't ever do that, you dummy.

Get them while they're hot.

Bucker up.

Bucker up.

Push it!

We put three new riveters
on this section, Mr. Blake.

Well, how are they working out?

I haven't checked on them yet.

Well, it looks like
good solid construction.

You know,
you fellows... Oh!

Solid construction, eh?

Where are those three new men?

Well, they've been working
up above there. They...

What do you mean by hiring men like them?

A hot one right off the griddle.

Oh, you dummy.

Get those men off of this building!

Go on, hurry up!

Come on, I hope that parachute works.

Open the parachute.

Open it out, open it out.


Say, Jerry left already.

You'd better hurry
or you'll be late for school.

Oh, I ain't going to school,
Mr. Winchell.

Oh, you too?

Listen, Knuck, let's
talk about it, shall we?

What is it?
Oh, ain't no use, sir.

They can't teach me nothing.


They can't teach me anything.

Oh, you must be stupid too, huh?

Look, what seems to be the trouble?

Well, it's all this here
homework I got to do.

Oh? Let me see it.
Right here.

Oh, well, they just want you to write a
composition about George Washington.


You know who George Washington was?

Oh, certainly.
He used to stand like this.

No. That was Napoleon. No. Washington.

Knucklehead, when did
Washington ever stand like that?

When he was wearing itchy underwear.

Oh. Look, why don't we try
a little simpler subject?

Now, tell me, how are you with arithmetic?

Oh, great, just terrific.

There's only one thing I
don't know. What's that?

What's arithmetic?

All right, we'll do
something very, very easy.

Now, tell me, how much is one and one?

Uh... Could you
give me a hint?

All right.
Hold up a finger.

How much is that?

Uh, one.

Now, hold up another finger.


And how much is that?


Just put down one finger.

All right.

Now, what have you got?

Uh, I got a hangnail.

Have you got a scissors, sir? Oh, please.

Oh, Knucklehead, you're
completely exasperating,

frustrating and incorrigible.

Gee, I wish you'd tell that to
my mother. She thinks I'm a jerk.

Oh, no.

Oh, it's no use,
Mr. Winchell. I'm hopeless.

Oh, don't say that, Knucklehead.

Nobody is hopeless.

Look, let me tell you a little story.

I once... Oh.

I once knew three fellows. Yeah?

And, well, they weren't too bright,

but they were gas station
attendants, you see.


Well, one day a big car

pulled up for service.

What will it be, stranger?
Put in 10 gallons of gas.

I'm going across the street for a sandwich.

Well, I guess we might as
well have lunch here, gentlemen.


Hey, can you give me a little
help? I need some repairs.

We're pretty busy, pal, but we'd
be glad to let you use the tools.

Save us from working on the job.

All right, men, a little super service.

You check the battery, you check the tires.

What are you gonna check?
I'm gonna check you guys.


All right, all right.

Right up there. Come on.

We'll worry about that later.

Shut it off!

Stop it. Stop.

Stop it. Stop it.
Stop it. Please.

Are you hurt?
Are You all right?

Get up out of there.

Don't stand around idle.

You put in the water, you
put in the gas. Get moving.


Sorry, gents, but this can
happen on the best places.

Now, hold still now.

Just a minute, I'll
have a towel right away.

Hey, stop that. Just take it easy, fellas.

What happened? It's murder. It's arson.

Let's get out of here.

Hey, Curly, come on.

Hey, Moe, Larry, wait.

Let's get out of here.

- Curly.
- Hey, Curly!

Open the door.

Hey, Curly!

He's frozen.
Get him out of there.

Oh, a frozen dainty, eh?

Wait, he's stiff as a plank.

What are you gonna do with him?

We'll build fire under him
and then thaw him out.

Come on, get him into the woods.

Put your arm under here.

Okay. Up we go.

Twenty minutes to a pound.

What happened? Get
me off of here. Untie me.

He's burning, Moe.
And he's done.

Get him, will you?
I got... Easy, kid.

Easy now, kid.

Wait a minute.
He's gonna pass out.

Easy, kid. Well, wait a
minute. Stay right there.

Are you all right?

Take it easy, kid. Come
here. Give me your hand.

Give him a hand.
Give me your hand.

Give me your hand.
All right, we've got you.

Well, Jerry's in school and
I'm all about myself at last.

No trouble, no mischief, no noise.

This silence is driving me out of my mind.

Oh, well, he'll be home soon.

Say, what's that sign on his dresser?

"Open drawers
at your own risk."

Ooh! Ow. Ooh! Ooh!

Just like that kid
to have this booby-trapped.

Oh, God!


What am I yelling for?
He's not here.


Jerry's baby picture.

Gee, he was a cute little baby.

Oh, what's the matter, sweetheart?

Oh, come on, up we go, up we go.

Oh, yes, indeed.

Our little baby wants
some foody, doesn't he?

Come over here and great big Daddy

will give him some food, all right?

Get out of here.
Oh. Isn't that cute?

Now, here's some nice foodsy-woodsy.

Come on, sweetheart, open your mouth.


Come on.
You first.

Daddy first?

If Daddy have some,
then will baby have some?

All right, first, Daddy.


Delicious. See?

Now, some for little baby.

Baby must have some.

All right, we have milky-wilky.

Come on.
Little bit of milky.

Come on now, little bit.

No, no, no.

Now swallow that now.
Swallow it now.

No. No, no, no.
Swallow it now.

Who that?
Who what?

Why di...

Oh, I know
what's wrong. Oh.

Baby has to make a boo-boo.

All right, sweetheart.

Come on now. Make a
little bubble for Daddy.

Let's have a little burpsey-whirpsey.

Come on, sweetheart, make a bubble.


That came all the way up from
your toesies, you sweet little baby.

That came up from your
toesies, you phony ventrikolist.

Jerry, was that nice?

I'm sorry, Dada.


He called me Dada.

Oh, no, no, no. Oh.


That's a real baby crying.

I wonder where that's coming from.

Where's that cat?
I'll murder it.

Kitty, kitty, kitty.

What do you know? A baby. Oh.

A lovely baby.

Isn't he cute?

Watch me make him laugh.


Boom. Coo-coo.

Oh, don't know how to make a baby laugh.

Watch this.


Look, honey, look.

The kid's un...
The kid's unhappy.

So am I.

Don't cry, honey.

Don't cry, honey.

There we are.
Boy, there we go.

There we are. Okay.

Hey, where are you?
Here, here.

Oh, there you are.

Boys, all we need is
a few slight alterations.

Stand by, Doc.





- Pin.
- Pin.


Wait till you see the meal we have for you.

Come on.

There we are.
There's enchiladas,

spaghetti, artichokes,

onions, celery,

olives, radishes, pig's feet and herring.

Come on, get going.

Here we are, ready or not.

Look, a nice radish.

Try an olive.


Get a load of these headlines.

"Police scour city
for kidnapped baby."

Oh, that's nothing.
Kids get into mischief.

Now, when I was a kid,
I... Kidnapped?

Who? What? When? Let me see. There.

"Police fear kidnappers have grabbed

"Collins' baby and are
holding it for ransom.

"So far the kidnappers have
not contacted the family."

The kidnappers got cold feet

and left us with a kid with a phony note.

Hey, bunion head, answer that door.

Hey, fellas, it's the cop.

They're after us for kidnapping.

We got to hide the evidence.

Let me see now.
The window.


Where are they?

Say, there must be pigeons in this car.


It's the baby.
It's in the car.

Now we're in for it.

Everything will be all right
as long as the kid keeps quiet.

I'll cut a hole in the canvas
and see where cops are.

Good idea, and if you
see them, let me know.


Hey, there's somebody
out here honking his horn.

Yeah, it's you, you dope.
Get off.

I'm gonna get those guys.
All right.

Spread out, I got to signal for a turn.

Get your gun, they may be violent.

Stick them up.
Stick them up.


Oh, my baby.


My baby.

I'm sorry we quarreled last night.

Me too.
I was so despondent.

That's why I left Jimmy on that doorstep.

Well, don't worry, it
won't happen again. No.

Say, what do you suppose
became of those three goofs?

You got me.

They still don't know that
all we wanted was the baby.


Say, I didn't realize it was that late.

I better call the garage and
see if my car has been fixed yet.

Acme garage.
Mulligan speaking.

Mr. Mulligan,
this is Winchell.

Paul Winchell.

Is my car ready?

You know, the one I borrowed
from my army friend.

You said it would be fixed today.

Hang on, Mr. Winchell.
Hey, Charlie.

Check on Mr. Winchell's car, will you?

Go away, I'm busy.


Oh, I didn't know it was you, Moe.

Come on out of that car.

Get up there and take care of the motor.


Get me out!


What are you doing down there, Moe?

Get me out. I'm suffocating.

Come on, we got to get him out.

It's no use. We can't get him out this way.

Wait a minute.
Maybe this will help.

It's no use.

Oh. The anvil.
Let's break it off.

Get me out of here, will you, fellas?

Take your time.
Take your time.

Now, look, lay it right
down there like that.

Oh, no, no, take it easy.



Say, if we heat it, it'll slip off.

Why didn't I think of that?

Come on, let's get going.


I'll murder you guys.

I'm burning up.

That ought to be hot enough.

It's too hot.

Let's put it in the water and cool it off.



Hey, let's put his head
in the vice and yank it off.


Wait a minute.

Got you out, didn't we?

Without even hurting the pipe. Yeah.

I'll murder you guys.

Hey, Moe, look out.
Look out, Moe.

You'll break the hammer.
I'll bust your skull.

Well, this is the last thing
in there and still no squeak.

What does a squeak look like?

Well, they're usually a small...

Why you, jugheads. You'll never
get this thing together in time.

Hey, here comes Kelly.
I'll stall him off

while you guys get the parts back in.

Looks pretty good.

Say, that windshield looks so clean

you wouldn't know
there was any glass in it.

You said it.

Did you get that squeak out?
Boy, we got everything out.

I'll drive it right out.

Now, wait a minute, Kelly, listen,

there's one thing that I...
Never mind. I'm in a hurry.

Sounds good.

Hello, uh, Mr. Winchell?

Oh, yes.
Is my car finished?

It's finished, Mr. Winchell,

but it ain't ready.

Okay. So long.

Oh, boy, oh boy, look at all this food.


I'm glad you like it, Jerry.

Well, everything is ready.

Oh, am I hungry, Winch.
Am I hungry.

No, no.

No. Watch your manners.

Stop reaching.

What's the matter with you?
Haven't got a tongue?

Yeah, but my arm is longer.

Oh, here, have a piece of corn.

Oh, thanks, Winch. But
eat it like a gentleman.

Yes, sir.





I'll just kiss it and put it back.

Oh, go ahead and eat it.

Can you stop long enough
to answer one question?

Oh, sure.
What is it, Winch?

How did you do in school today?

I got 100 in everything.

You did? Oh, Jerry,
I'm so thrilled. I...

Are you telling me the truth?

No, but I sure had you
living there for a while.

Oh, no.

And this afternoon,
it's even gonna be worse.

Why? She's gonna ask
questions about Mexico.


Well, I can help you there. You can?

Now let's see.

Mexico is a beautiful country. Mmm-hmm.

Each year, thousands of
people from all over the world

come to see it's many wonders.

Ladies and gentlemen,
as an added attraction,

we wish to present those
loco Americanos comedians,

The Three Stooges.

They will do a comedy bullfight.

We hope you like them
too many. Thank you.


To the fair queen of the
fiesta, I dedicate this bull.

And I do mean bull.

Come on, fellas, let's get going.

Come on, what are you stalling for?

Get going. They're waiting for something.

Come on, charge me.

Charge me.

Now you're working, fellas.

The act is going over great.
Look at that audience.

Hey, what are you doing over
there when you belong over here?

You think...

Help me!

That was a close call, kid.
He almost got you.

It's all your fault.

Three months we waited
for a break for this act,

and you come along and ruin it.

I'm mad! I'm furious!

Fight like a man.

Come on, Jerry, hurry up.

You'll be late for this afternoon's class.

This afternoon's class.

Boy, oh boy, if I flunked
the test this morning,

I hate to think what
I'll do this afternoon.

If Winch thought that I was sick,

then he wouldn't send me.

This'll do it.

Now, I'll just put one over here.

Another one there...

Listen, Jerry, didn't you hear me?

Now come on, you got
to get to school this after...

Why are you covering your face?


Your face. Yech.

What are you yeching about?

Well, it's all covered with dots.

What do you expect?

Well, what is it?

Chicken pox.

Chicken pox.
Are you sure?

Sure, I'm sure. Listen.

Yeah, but it can't be chicken pox.

The spots are only on your face.

That's the worst kind.

From the neck down I've got feathers.

Jerry, if you've got chicken pox,

then I can't send you to school.

What? I must go to school if it kills me.

No, I can't let you go.

I must go.
I can't let you go.

I must.
I can't...


Keep fighting me, keep fighting me. Here.

Wait a minute. I'll take your temperature.

I'll get a thermometer.

Who needs it?

Here. Open your mouth.

Yeah, but I... Open it.
Open your mouth, I say.

What's the matter?

Watch the mechanism.

Oh, here, put it back.
Put it back.

I'll get you some hot tea.

I'll get you some hot tea.


It's normal.

What'll I...

Ah. He-he.

This ought to do it.

♪ You give me fever, fever ♪

Now you drink this, you'll feel better.

Uh-oh. Uh...

Hey. Hey. I said
that thermometer in.

Yeah, but you don't seem to...

I said in.

Now, what does it say?

Two hundred and sixty-four.

Two hundred and sixty-four.

Two hundred and sixty-four?

Jerry, I'd better get the doctor.

Wait a second, Winch.
Wait a second.

What's the matter?
I'm going fast.

What? This is it. So long, old pal.

Jerry, wait a minute, hang on.

So long.

I'm going to die.

I'm dead.

You're not dead, you're alive.

You call this living?

Winch, it's getting dark.

Jerry, what's the matter?
Hold on.

It's getting dark.
I can't see you.

Turn the lights on.
Where are you?

The lights are on.
Don't you see me now?

Yeah. Turn them off again.

Oh, I better get the
doctor, that's what I'll do.

I'll get the doctor. I'll call the
hospital. The hospital, yes.

What's the number?
Oh. The hospital.

My baby.
My poor little Garcon.

Oh, calm yourself,
Mrs. Bedford.

He's in the hands of the
world's greatest specialists.

They'll pull him through.

I hope so.

Do you think it's serious, Dr. Curly?

Yes, indeed, to say the least if not less.


The perambulation of the pedal extremity

is impeded by the insertion
of a foreign botanical offshoot.

Now, gentlemen, we
must proceed with caution.

This Bedford dog is worth a fortune.

So it is.
The instruments.

The instruments.


Ah, tools.



Go get a pickleadickletar.
We have none.

We have none.
Oh, yes, we have.

Hold it, Doctor.

This is gonna hurt me worse
than it does you, Garcon.

Hold on.

Success. Success.

How is Garcon?
Is she all right?

The operation was a complete success.

That's wonderful.

Now I can show Garcon
in the dog show tomorrow.

Come, Garcon.
No, no.

He must rest here for a few hours.

Yes. We'll have her
back about 4:00.

Well, see that Garcon gets
the very best of attention.

Oh, yes, madam.

Thank you.
Good day, gentlemen.

Good day. Oh!


Put the dog to bed.

Dr. Moe, Dr. Larry, Dr. Curly.

What do you want?

Two important visitors to see you.


Hey, that nurse must have eaten catnip.

Ah! Oh.

One little kitten lost its mitten.

How careless.

Here they come now.

How do you do, gentlemen?
We're from The Daily Star.

We'd like to get up a feature
story about your hospital.

That's fine. Follow us. We'd
be happy to show you around.

Here's an interesting case, gentlemen.

What's wrong with him?

He's suffering from acute alcoholism.

Ain't he a cutie.

He's a lap dog.
A lap dog?

Yeah, he lapped up two cases of beer.

A bad case.

Keep a cool head, kid.

Now, right this way, gentlemen.

Dr. Moe, Dr. Larry, Dr. Curly.

Who's Garcon?

That's Mrs. Bedford's
prize poodle.


Calling Dr. Curly.
Calling Dr. Curly.

Calling Dr. Larry.
Calling Dr. Larry.

Calling Dr. Moe.

Pomeranian, ward six,
has a coat on its tongue.

What should we do?

Give him the pants and vest
and take him for a walk.

Pardon me.

Come on, we gotta pull this job in a hurry.

We'll hide him in the old
house until we get the ransom.


Calling all curs.
Calling all curs.

Dinner is ready.
Come to the dining room.

That is all.

Don't worry. There's enough for everybody.

Take a look at this.

Dr. Moe. Larry. Curly.

Garcon is missing.

Come at once. Hurry.


By Garcon!

Oh, what'll we do?
Read this note.

What happened?
Where's Garcon?

He's gone!
Here. Read this note.

"Mrs. Bedford can have
her dog if she pays $2000.

"Don't tell the cops or
she'll never see him again."

Those guys weren't reporters,
they were dognappers.

I got an idea.

I wonder what he's up to?

Sit down there.

Now, here's the idea.

We got to disguise this
mutt to look like Garcon.

The old lady won't know the difference.

Get to work on that mattress.

Nurse, get the glue.
You get the black paint.

Start pulling, boys.

He looks more like Garcon than Garcon.

Nobody will ever recognize him.

That mattress here turned the trick.

We brought
Mr. Bedford's dog back.

All right. But keep it away
from me. I don't like dogs.

Come on.
Come on.

This way. Right in here, gentlemen.

The madam will be right in.


Go away, dog! Go away!

You is scalped!

I'm getting out of here.

How do you do, doctors?

Well, where is Garcon?
Right here.

Hey, Garcon.

Hey, Garcon.
Hey, Garcon.


Hey, Garcon?

That's not my dog!

She's fainted. Get something. Do something.

All right, don't worry.

You fiends!
You vandals!

What have you done with my dog?

I'm sorry, lady.
We made a mistake.

You get my dog back or
I'll have the police on you.

We'll bring him back. Alive. You'd better.

Garcon! Hey. Garcon!


I tell you, the jig is up, boys.

I can see us in jail.

Yeah, on a rock pile, making
little ones out of big ones.

Listen, blood hound, if
you've got any blood in you,

you'll find Garcon.

Now, go on, do your stuff.

Look, he's gonna find him.
Come on.

He sees something.

He's calling us.

Why don't he make up his mind?

Quiet. We'll find out.
Come on.

I wonder why we haven't
heard from the owner of that dog?

Search me.

Come on, he's on a scent.

We're looking for a dog.

He had four legs and a tail.

No, I ain't see no dog.

It's them!
The dognappers.

Come on.

Get him, Moe.
Hold still!

Give it to him.
Give it to him. Sock him.

In the chin! Oh!


I'll get him.

Wait a minute.
Let me at him, Al.

I'll mop up the floor with him.

It's Garcon.
He's in the closet.

Come on.


Don't worry, Jerry.
Everything will be all right.

Why don't those doctors show up.

Oh, I know what I'll do.

I'll get you a cold compress.


That will cool off your head a little bit.

Here. Here.

Just, doesn't that feel good?
There, doesn't that...


Faking, huh?

Just to stay home from school.

Now wait a second, Winch.

Don't you "wait a second" me.
You're gonna be punished.

Now, you go to school right now.

But I can't.
It's too late.

Well, then, go in the other
room, and do your homework.

I ain't got it.

Well, Knucklehead has got it.

I'll go right over to
Knucklehead's house right now.

And I'll get your homework.

But Knucklehead ain't home right now.

He's working over
at his uncle's restaurant.

All right. Then I'll go right
over to his uncle's restaurant

and I'll get the homework right now.

Your coffee's great, Knucklehead.

Thanks a lot.
How much do I owe you?

Oh, for you, Officer Joe, no charge.

So long.
So long.

I'll see you in court. That's a funny one.

See you in court.

What a guy.



Hi, Knucklehead.

Oh, hello there,
Mr. Winchell.

What can I do for you?

Well, may I borrow Jerry's
homework assignment for today?

Oh, certainly.
I got it right here, sir.

Thank you.
Here it is, right here.

Oh, good.

Listen, while you're here,
would you like something to eat?

All right, Knucklehead.
Give me a salad.

Yes, siree.
One salad coming up.

Oh, is that a tossed salad? Hmm?

I like a tossed salad.
Would you toss it for me?

Well, if that's what you want.

Please. Ah!


Look, just make me a sandwich, please.

One sandwich coming up.

On raisin bread, if you don't mind.

Oh, of course I don't mind. Not at all.

Oh, is that raisin bread fresh?

Why, certainly. Uh-oh.

What's the matter?

What'd you do that for?

One of the raisins was walking.

Oh, for goodness...

There's your homework.
Get busy.

Hey, Winch.
Can I do it later?


My favorite TV show is on now.

Well, okay.

I guess another half hour
can't do any harm.

It's a lie!

Come on, let's get the horses.

Come on. Hold it.

Hey, don't drive so fast.
They're way behind.

Why didn't you wait for me?

Here they come!

Quick, the shack.

I'll tell them we're not home.

Let the bar down.

Come on, let them have it.

We gotta get some guns, boys. Come on.

Ooh, eats!

There's no gun,
but there's a lot of bullets.

Here's some belts.

Feed them in now. Slow.
Take it easy.

Come on, men!

Keep them covered, boys.

Noble work, my men.

Okay. You've seen
your television show.

Now, get busy and do your homework.

Oh, gee whiz, Winch.

I said do your homework.

I'm gonna have some water.

All right, all right.

Gee, what a grouch.

Hmm, that's funny.

- Hey, Jerry.
- Yeah?

Would you do me a favor
and let your homework go

and come in here for a minute?

Something's wrong with
the faucet. It doesn't work.

Okay, Winch.

What is it?

Oh, look, you see that
little valve down there?

This one?

When I say all right,
will you turn it on, please?

Oh, but not now.

Just wait till I say
all right, then turn it on.

When you say all right, I turn it on.


Hey, Winch.

How's it coming?
All right.

What's the big idea?

Well, you said all right.

Hey, Winch.

How come this other valve is green?

Green? Oh, that's just
a little corrosion.


They're both supposed to be all white.

Look, you.

I said all white!

I didn't say all...


Do me a favor.

Don't touch anything, will you, please?

Leave everything alone.

I'll go call the plumbers.

Plumbers, plumbers.

Sorry, Winch.

Let's see.

Well, Winch?

No answer.

They must be out on a job.

Just a second!

Let me have that wrench, you imbeciles.

Oh, oh, oh.

♪ I hear the voice
Of spring of you ♪

Hey, boys, I must be dead.

I hear an angel singing.

♪ And the birds return
The skies are blue ♪

♪ The voice of spring
Is in the air ♪

Here's your recording, Miss
Andrews, and very nice too.

Thank you.

I'll see that Mrs. Bixby
hears this record

and I hope she'll hire you for her program.

But I still can't understand why
you won't audition for her in person.

My father doesn't approve
of my being a radio singer,

so I have to do it under an assumed name.

Well, I follow you so far.

if Mrs. Bixby hires me,

my father can't object because
she's an old family friend.

That's simple enough, isn't it?

Oh, sure, sure.

What happened? I'm sorry,
Moe, it was an accident.

I'm working...

What's the matter?
What's going on here?

Pick up that stuff and get to work.

So help me, this is your last...


Come back here.



Boy, right on the head.

Take that!

Now, I'm gonna cut you all
in little pieces!

Oh, a microphony.

And a phony at the mike.

Get over there.

Quiet, numbskulls, I'm broadcasting.

Hark. Who is that stepping off the
boulevard down by the chicken house?

'Tis she. I shall seize her
and tie her to the...

♪ I hear the voice
Of spring and you ♪

♪ And the birds return
The skies are blue ♪

Good afternoon, Mrs. Bixby. Good afternoon.

I wish to audition a singer.

Will you tell Mr. Allen
that I'm here?

He left word for you to go to studio B

and he will join you there. Very well.

Senorita, you were marvelous.

I enjoyed your singing so much.

I'm Mrs. Bixby.

I'm having a few guests in
tonight for a musical party.

You must come and sing for them.

Oh, well, now that's a problem.

I'll pay you $500 if you come.

We'll be there with bells on. Splendid.

Ladies and gentlemen, I've the
honor of presenting the great artist...



and SenorGusto.

Father, I'm sure I know those men.

Hey, look who's here.

Oh, Mrs. Bixby.

I'm so sorry I'm late.
I meet some crazy peoples.

They bust my fiddle, they bust my glasses.

We better get out of here. If he
spots us, we're cooked. Come on.

My glasses, all broke.

It's a good thing he ain't got
glasses. Maybe he won't know us.

All we gotta do is knock them
dead with your song, we're in.

Just be careful with that record.

Nothing's gonna happen to it.

Well, it might get broke.

Not with me handling.

Just be careful.
Shut up!


With me handling the record, nothing...

Look what you did.
Now we're cooked.

No, we ain't. Look.
There's a lot of records.

You're getting half a brain
in your skull now, huh?

"Sextetfrom Lucy."
Can you sing it?

I can't even say it.

Oh, go on. Get set.

Oh, short eyeballs, eh?

Oh, the "Sextetfrom Lucia."

My goodness, what happened?

The senorita has lost her voice.


Why did you take my record
from the broadcasting station?

I wanted that job and you
spoiled my chances of getting it.

Now, the least thing you
can do is to go through with it.

I want to prove something to my father.

How can we?
My voice?

I mean, your voice is broken?

No, it isn't. It's as good as new. Listen.

Oh, my dear, you were wonderful.

You'll sing for us now, won't you?

Of course, she will.
Won't you?

Do that number you did at the
broadcasting station this afternoon.

Play Voices Of Spring.

This way, senorita.

All set?

♪ I hear the voice
Of spring and you ♪

♪ And the birds return
The skies are blue ♪


Look, peoples, just a big fake.

This is unnecessary.

Throw them in jail.

Oh, please, please, wait.

It wasn't all their fault.
I helped them.

Why, Alice?

Oh, I wanted to prove I was
good enough to get a job, Father.

And you are, dear.

As for these impostors...

Hey, Winch.
Yeah, Jerry?

Any luck yet?

No, I still can't get the plumbers.

Hey, go out in the front yard
and shut the water off.

Hey, what's going on here?

Hey! Hey! Turn me loose!



I got it.



I gotta get this water out.

Who said you need brains to be a plumber?

Why you lame brain, you.

Look what you did to the pipe!


Go on, get another piece of pipe.

I resent that.

What are you gonna do about it?

Get another piece of pipe.




Oh, the end of the line.

Hurry up with that pipe!


Here we go.

Straighten her up now so I can line her up.

This house has sure gone crazy.

I'll find this thing or else...

If it wasn't for me, where would we be?

This is station WX21

making a television broadcast
direct from Niagara Falls.


I hope you sleep tight, Knuck.

Say, Mr. Winchell...

You know, at home, I never go to
sleep unless my father tells me a story.

Oh, really? What kind
of a story does he tell ya?

Well, he tells me Robinson Crusoe

and his man, Saturday.

You mean Friday.

No, Saturday.
He overslept.

Say, how would you like to
hear the story of Cinderella?

Oh, that's swell.
All right.

Now, let's see.

Once upon a time,
when knighthood was in fame,

there lived a pretty slavy.

Cinderella was her name.

Dearest sister,

will we ever marry a handsome Mister?

Oh, it's so hard to be beautiful.

This perfume should capture a male.

Where's Cinderella?

Our sister is never around
when we need her.


You didn't wash.

You didn't scrub.

You didn't dust.

Or clean the tub.

You didn't cook.

You didn't sew.

Get to work.

Away you go.

♪ Busy, busy me
I was busy as a bumble bee

♪ Oh, busy, busy me
I'm as busy as can be

♪ You see, I'm busy, busy

♪ Gee, I've been busy
all my life

♪ I fear won't someone
rescue me

♪ From this dusty chandelier ♪

Odds bodkins, five to four,

who's that knocking on our door?

Hurry, Esmeralda.

Coming, Zelda.

Come in, sir.
Do come in.

Know ye by all these
presents, His Majesty, the King,

protector of the realm and
the sovereign of all its subjects,

hereby summons you to the
grand salon in the royal palace...

On the 8th hour of the evening

of the 12th day of the 5th
month of the current year.

Goody, goody, that's tonight.

And now I bow.


We've arrived.


Zelda, think of it.
We're going to the ball.

Goody, goody.

We're going to the ball.

You, you're not going!

Hurry, hurry, let's prepare.

Goodness gracious, what will we wear?

Cinderella, get my shoes!

Hurry, Esmeralda.

I'm rushing, Zelda.

It's hard to hustle when you wear a bustle.

Poor me.

I can't go to the ball.

You too can be beautiful, Cinderella.

You can be the belle of the ball.

Who are you?

I'm your fairy godmother.

Goody, goody.

I'm going to the ball.

Please cooperate
if you want to go to the ball.

But look at my appearance.

Please be modest.

I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

Ibbity, bibbity, jibbity jean,
hocus-pocus, you're a queen.

Cinderella, you'll be the envy of them all.

You'll truly be the belle of the ball.

But how will I get there?

Follow me.

Look to the skies and close your eyes

and lumkins, bumkins, magic pumpkins.

Presto! Big surprise.

You cannot go like that, my dear.

Barefooted, it's isn't neat.

Herrings, kippers, crystal slippers.

Presto! For your feet.

♪ Happy, happy me

♪ I'm as happy
as a girl can be

♪ Oh, happy, happy me
I am going on a spree

♪ Oh, happy, happy me

♪ I'm filled with rapture
after all

♪ Oh, happy, happy me
I'm going to the ball ♪

The king and queen sat on their throne,

with the handsome prince at their side.

Then off he glanced and was entranced

as the golden coach he spied.

As from the coach she did alight,

the graceful prince
fell in love at first sight.

You're scintillating,
fascinating, devastating.

The prince never asked us to dance.

In fact, nobody asked us.

The stroke of midnight did approach.

Hurry, Cinderella, hurry!

Hurry, before the coach
turns into a pumpkin.

Alas, poor graceful prince,

he was shortchanged in the deal.

His lady fair had won his heart,

but lost her sole and heel.

Farewell, my fair lady.

Oh, sadness. Oh, sorrow.

Joy today, gloom tomorrow.

Hello, pumpkin.
Farewell, coach.

The prince had lost his lady love,

he knew not what to do.

And so he sought the dainty foot

to fit the crystal shoe.

Oh, darling, what big toes you have.

Cinderella, open the door.

The prince.
He mustn't see me like this.

Extend your feet in the name of the king.

For the foot that fits the slipper

should belong to the leg of my queen.

Here, let me try it.

Here, Prince. Here, Prince.

Here, Prince.

It's impolite to point.

It fits!
My heart, my love, my queen!

My foot.

My bride.


Gee. Don't cry, Zelda.

Just that it's been such a long day. Yeah.

Look, I think that we
should all turn in now, Knuck.

Yeah, okay.

Good night, Knucklehead.

Oh, boy, what a mystery this is.

Full of murders.

I gotta find out who the killer is.

Hey, Jerry, are you still awake?

Come on, it's almost 10:00.
Now, get into bed.

Oh, I gotta stay up
a little bit longer, Winch.

I gotta finish and find out
who the killer is.

Well, I'm sorry, Jerry, you'll
have to turn out that light.

We gotta get to sleep.

Oh, gee whiz, Winch.

Just let me read one more chapter, huh?

Well, all right. You read one more
chapter, but I've gotta get some sleep.

Gee whiz.
He's out like a light.

I think I'll finish my milk.

Now let's see.

"The killer walked in with gun in hand.

"'Stick them up, ' he said.

"'Higher. Higher. Higher.'"

Oh, the damn is busted.
Run for the hills. The...


Now, look you,

I've had enough of this nonsense.

Now, give me that book.

Now, you turn out the light
and got to sleep.

Gee whiz, don't get sore.

Don't get sore?
Let's turn it out.

Now, good night, Jerry.
Good night.

Okay, okay.

Good night.

What's that?

What's all that noise?

They're having a party next door.

At 2:00 in the morning.

Oh, this is ridiculous.

No, thank you, Sapington.

Good evening.
Good evening.

May I introduce my three proteges.

Mr. Gotrocks.




And the Countess Shpritzvasser?




Oh, pardon us.

Quaint, aren't they, but cute.

Good evening, Miss Lulu.

My, but you look charming.

Oh, thank you, boys.
You look charming too.

Oh, by the way, may I
present Mrs. Smythe Smythe.

Oh, very, very happy, happy.


Oh, uh, Curlington.


May I present
Mrs. Smythe Smythe.

You certainly may.

I'm charmed.

I kiss your hand, madam.

Isn't he gallant?

Would you please excuse us?


Come on, come on.
Where's that diamond?

In my safe deposit box.

Give it back.
I lost the combination.

Well, what do you know?

You dummy.
I hope nobody saw us.

Now, I gotta get something
to cover this silverware.


You fool.

Boys, I've been looking for
you. Come along. Yes, sir.

This is the most interesting experiment.

I'm very anxious
to really talk to those boys.

Well, they're here. I know they'll be very
happy to speak with you, Mrs. Smythe Smythe.

You petty larceny stooge.

What are you trying to do,
ruin us? Give me that pie.

Now, get over there and sit
down before I crown you. Go on!

You know, my dear, when they first arrived,

they were absolutely uncouth.

But now, they're the epitome of refinement.

There's one of them now.
Excuse me.

My dear young man,
do tell me about yourself.

Well, you see, uh...
Well, that is, uh...

You'll... Pardon me.

If you don't tell me
all about this metamorphosis,

I shall always feel
that I've missed something.

Lady, if you don't leave right now,

you're not gonna miss anything.

Young man, what's wrong?

You act as though the sword of
Damocles is hanging over your head.

Lady, you must be psychic.

I wonder what's wrong with that young man.


You feathered-brain imbecile.
Are you trying to ruin us too?

You know, you're a little bit too bossy.


I'm too bossy, huh?
Wise guy.


You forgot to duck.

So did you.


No, wait.
Let's call a truce.

Come on. Come on,
you started this.

Pardon me, madam.

Stop it!
Stop it this minute.

You disgraceful vagabonds.

Ah. Oh. Oh.

You think you're...

So you want to play rough,
do you? Well!

Wait a minute, lady.


I'll put a stop to this right
now. I'll be right back.

A wise guy, eh?
How do you like that?

Why you...

What's going on here?
Do you realize that...

That does it.

This is the end.

♪ Stop, look and laugh ♪