Still Crazy (1998) - full transcript

"Strange Fruit" had everything that makes a legendary rockband: Money, Fame, Success, Groupies, a Singer who died of drugs and even a divine ending, when lightning struck the stage during an open-air. Twenty years later, all band members are minding their own businesses, the idea of a band reunion is brought up by, well, public request. Tony, the former keyboard player, sets out only to find his former friends working as a roofer, a gardener and a hotel clerk. They all became rather everyday people, married or still single, they definitely are not wild and crazy anymore. But with the help of former manager Karen, who is still dreaming of Brian, the apparently deceased lead guitarist, they all, old, fat and wrinkled as they are, try to catch that spirit again. - stop by if you're interested in the nutritional composition of food
History teaches us
that men behave wisely...

...once they've exhausted
all other alternatives.

For most rock bands, the pursuit
of wisdom's a low priority...

...compared to fame, fortune
and fornication.

Such a band was "Strange Fruit. "

- You said this is an important gig!
- It is!

It's a waterlogged field
miles from anywhere.

I was the road dog 20 years ago when
they played the Wisbech Rock Festival.

There's 20,000 fans out there
waiting for you.

They can't go anywhere.
They're up to their bollocks in mud.

We should sing "Painted Lady"
as a tribute to Keith.

Why? What's the point?

It's two years since he
passed on.

He didn't "pass on. "
He OD'd in a Little Chef.

Nice thought, but it'll
bring everybody down.

You told us we'd close the night.

No, I didn't. I said you'd go on after
Blodwyn Pig and Uriah Heep.

What about Mott the Hoople?

I can't move that. It's a done deal.

We're the Fruits, Neil.
We're the Fruits!

- You should be on stage.
- Without Brian?

Where is he?
And where's Karen?

It's a question of stature.

You have to consider where
we stand in the overall spectrum.

Where do we, Ray?

Above Mott the fucking Hoople.

We're on at 3 a.m.
No one will be awake.

Lindisfarne went on in daylight.

So they should,
they're fucking folk singers!

What's he on?
Horse tranquilizers?

- You were to look after him, Karen.
- I never let him out of my sight.

Forget about the album
and all that negative press stuff.

Go out there.

Remind them what the Fruits
were, are, will be!

You've been very patient,
but it's worth waiting for.

I know you want to see the guys.

So let's hear it for Strange Fruit!

Watch where you turn

It might be today

For fuck's sake!

You lose your head

Then just throw it away

It was their last gig.

Divine intervention...

...pulled the plug on the Fruits.

I think God just got sick of...

...all that 70s excess.

That's why He invented The Sex Pistols.

That ought to tell us something.

So they went their separate ways,
dragging their dwindling royalties...

...and bruised egos behind them.

Tony sold his Yamaha...

...but he still puts "rock star"
as his job description.

Mind you, for the last few years... one's been quite sure
what it is he actually does.

Tony Costello?


Who wants to know?

Strange Fruit, right?

Steve Greenblatt.

Big fan of yours, Tony.

God, this is amazing.

My dad put on the Wisbech Rock Festival.

Yeah? No kidding?

Can I buy you a drink?

Maybe later.
I have some business.

You live here?
Retired to the sun, eh?

Lucky you.

- How's business?
- Slow.

English are not here.

Bloody hell, things are slow.

Karen still had ink on her fingers
from school...

...when she went to work
for the Fruits.

Started by sorting their laundry.

By Wisbech,
she was sorting their lives.

They treated her like crap,
but she loved the music...

...and idolized Brian.

That bastard was a near-genius...

...but hell-bent on going
the way of his brother Keith...

...already dead
from a drug overdose.


Get some fucking help!

So she did a complete 180:.
Marriage, mortgage, daughter, a divorce.

Welcome to the Viking Hotel.

Everything's set up for you
in the Collingwood Suite.

You'll find tea and coffee,
leaded and unleaded.

Lunch will be served at 12:30.
Thank you.

Brilliant, Karen.
I'll buy you a drink later.

Admiral's Locker at six?

He brings 12
conferences a year here.

Give him the benefit of the doubt.

He tries it every time.

What this job needs
is a people pleaser.

Sometimes I think
you don't even like people.

Pleasing people
is letting them touch my arse?

- Can I have the Mitsubishi list?
- Hi, babe. What's happening?


He's the son
of the original promoter...

...of the Wisbech Rock Festival.

He wants to set it up again.

20th anniversary.
A lot of the original acts.

- And he wants the Fruits.
- Sure.

Come on. Come on!

I'm at work, Tony.
What do you want?

I've no idea how
to track the guys down.

I could use a little help.

Mitsubishi delegates are wandering
around reception like lost sheep.

I'll be with you
in one minute.

You can't see this happening?
You hated each other in the end.

Hate's a bit heavy.

I need a few phone numbers.
That's all.

I owe it to the guys
to let them know about it.

Some of them
may not be doing so well.

Desperate times best forgotten.

I had enough rock 'n' roll
to last a lifetime.

So you gave it all up for this.

Les Wickes was the most pissed off
when the band broke up.

He'd been pissed off
since Keith died...

...and Ray Simms replaced him.

He swears he doesn't miss it.

Well, his wife believes him.

You could break your neck
in those heels.

There's only two reasons to get you
to haul your ass up here.

Either I owe you money...


Or you want to put
the band back together.

We had a shot.

A real shot for greatness.

Don't tell me it hasn't
haunted you.


I'm just glad I got out when I did.
Built up a decent business.

That's Camille talking.

Is it stickier going down?

You wanted it as much as any of us.

Money, hit records, being famous.

Don't tell me this is a step up, Les.

You frightened the life out of me.

What are you doing?

Look at all this stuff.

Should've straightened it out years ago.

Why didn't you?

You might like to wear these.

Oh, God.

Costello Music. Good morning.

Tony, it's me.

Listen, I've just handed in my notice.

You're in?

Fantastic, man.

Can't believe he managed
to hang on to this pile.

Ray was always careful with his money.

And I'm dossing down
at my sister's flat.

The only thing I have of value
is this.

What is it?

Jimi Hendrix's tooth.

There was a fight in a club
on Oxford Street.

Somebody planked him and I picked it up.

I knew he was a genius even then.

You think it'd fetch
a fortune, right?

Absolutely. No two ways about it.

What's going on here?

Ladies and gentlemen...

...a toast by our host,
the father of the bride.

One, two.

Hello, Wembley.

As you know, I'm a man of music...

...and Tamsin... a child of song.

She remains
one of the best songs I ever wrote.

I think our timing's a bit off.

Well, I should say, co-wrote...

...with her mother...

...June, who we're...

...lucky enough to have
with us today.

What was the name
of his band?

Trying to remember.
It's driving me crazy.

Strange Fruit.

- Strange...?
- Fruit.

I'd like to read this,
which is...

...from my first solo album,
Taking Wing.

Thank you.

"Love is the heat...

...that melts the wax of wings.

Fly close to that heat...

...dear girl, fly close.

For when the smoke clears...

...what remains?

The sweet kissing breath
of lips and thighs...

...and sky-blue eyes that love. "

- You're ex-directory, obviously.
- No, it's cool.

Why don't we talk in the crypt?

Tony's trying to get the Fruits
together for a reunion.


Have you spoken to Les?

We wanted to talk to you first,

It was always complex karma
between him and me...

...from the moment I joined the band.

It was long ago, Ray.
We've all moved on.

He said you were a wanker, but he always
thought you had great pipes.

What are you doing here? Please.

Hello, baby.

Hello, Astrid.

Hello. I am forgetting.
Did we invite you?

They're getting the Fruits together.

Why would you want to?

A lot of outfits are surfing
the nostalgia wave, cleaning up.

Ray is in the middle of a solo album.

- We work night and day.
- "We"?

Ray plays every instrument himself.

Sometimes I make
percussions on tinkerbells.

This is very "happening now" music.

Strange Fruit?

It's passé. They're an old hat.

- Without a singer, we're bollixed.
- But Astrid said no. Not Ray.

His last solo album was in '89.

Dying for a pee.

- Hang on.
- Where are you going?

I'm not going back in there.
I'm not dressed for the occasion.

Come and look at this!

He's got it on the market.
This is all a front.

Bet he's as broke as I am.

Mrs. Baggot?

Who's asking?

I'm Karen Knowles.

This is Tony Costello.

Do you remember us from years ago?
With the band?


Beano sold all his gold disks,
you know.

Well, the wife took everything.

The cow. Lives in Wales now.

Serves her right.

Does he still live with you?

No. Moved away.

Where to?

Over there.

Comes home for
his meals and his washing.

Where can we contact him?

You're the second lot
looking for him this morning.

He's at work. At the nursery.

He works in a nursery?

Not with children?

If you don't put these in today,
give them a drink before bedtime.

Remember, they don't like lime.

Excuse me, do you know if
David Baggot works here?

Sometimes known as "Beano" Baggot?

There was a Mr. Baggot
worked here a while back.

Had to leave.
Allergic to azaleas, apparently.

It turned his piss green.

Where can we get in touch with him?

One of the girls had a postcard
from Zimbabwe, I think.

A call for you, Beano!

I'll be straight there!
Just turn the hose off.

Excuse me!

If it's true that men
are from Mars...

...and women are from Venus,
then drummers...

...are from Pluto.

The others were haunted by the past.

Beano worried it may catch up with him.

What you doing here?

How do you feel about getting
together again?

Not a moment too soon.

Bastard. Please.

Come on. Do me a fucking favor,
would you?

You can do it. Come on, do that.

Will you shut up?!

Button it! Fucker.

Yeah, come on, please.

All I want is to watch the Brazilian
Grand Prix. Which button is it?!

- There's a limousine outside.
- What?

Obviously, Karen did this.
She must think we are so easy.

Mr. Simms?

Big fan, sir!

The reunion lunch is at 12:30!

Give me a few minutes!

- This came for you.
- Thanks.

Try to be back by four,
even if it is your last week.

I'm not sure how long this will take.

I'm not to take you back.

Costello Music said
you'd be taking the train.

Well, there's some mistake, surely.

You were engaged to a
Guinness heiress, wasn't it?

Yeah, but they paid me to go away.

- Not enough, by the look of you.
- Never is, man.

You old tosser!

- How you doing?
- All right.

I was reminding Tony about
that night in Air Studios...

...we caught you shagging that
singer on an amp.

Surely not.

Why are we meeting here?

We shot an album cover here
years ago.

That was before Ray's time.

We dropped some acid
in the Druids' Circle.

Brian wrote
quite a good song.

The last verse even rhymed.

Do you want a beer, Ray?

Jack Daniels, right?

It's usually Evian nowadays.

- And I don't touch those anymore.
- How about a sausage, then?

Hey, Wicksey!

Hey. Great.

Still pounding them drums?

- How are you, Ray?
- Cool. Thanks, Les.

- Like the T-shirt.
- This?

- What's that mean?
- It's a Zen quotation.

Is it? I thought that was
Japanese for "Calvin Klein. "

Are we getting a table,
or waiting for Brian?

He won't be here.

I've got news about Brian.

I reckoned his song royalties
must be paid somewhere... I tried his publishers...

...and I got a fax
just before I left work.

But it was too late
to call you all.

Call us all about what?

His royalties have been paid to a
cancer foundation in the States...

...for the last five years.

He gave his royalties away?

Gave his Rolls away once
to his window cleaner.

This is a bequest.

Something you leave in a will.

You mean the silly sod's dead?

It was always in the cards,
something like this. He was... know what I'm saying...


And we crushed him.

Keith screwed himself up,
we screwed up Brian.

So make it up to him.

Do the gig and let people
hear his songs.

If Wisbech works out, maybe the record
company will rerelease the old albums.


- What do you say?
- Can't see it.

We'd bollix it all over again.

Pretty pointless reunion.

Suppose I might get
a shepherd's pie out of it.

You hear that?

- That's Brian.
- Yes. Tequila Mockingbird.

Track one.

Is that spooky, or what?

It's a sign.

A message from
the gods of rock 'n' roll.

Oh you dangerous things

I'm not sure of the vibe here.

Maybe we should've rented in the
country. Somewhere more cloistered.

What's wrong with your place?
You've got enough bedrooms.

That would've been cool,
but we're having the lake drained.

I'm very surprised you'd do this.

I suppose you hope
to see Brian again.

Doing it for all of us.

Even though you married,
he was the love of your life.

That's very sad
for a woman of your age.

Astrid was wrong.
Age has got sod-all to do with it.

And if they're putting their balls
on the block again, I won't miss it.

Fuck me! I can't believe it!

What've I strayed into here?
Night of the Living Dead!

You big sack of shite!
Beano Baggot!

Where's Tony?


Look at you!

Big bollock!
Let me see.

Cuban heels! He's been
walking downhill since 1969.

I have made herb tea for everyone,
and also dried fruit.

You'll get fat if you
just eat Mars bars.

Well, Astrid, my wee Nordic charmer,
so you and Ray went the distance.

Are you still a road dog, Hughie?

The last tour I did was ten years ago,
with Aerosmith.

But it's all wheatgrass juice
and pumpkin seeds now.

Hope you're still crazy, or I'm out.
I have a surprise.

Eat something.

Strange Fruit!
Rock musicians, poets, legends!

This is your life!

Except for these. That's my life.

Some memories in here.

- Don't believe it.
- Hello.

How did these get here?

Groupies keep them on their mantelpiece.
Sent ours back.

Look at this bugger.

Hello? Testing. One, two, three.

Ray! Ask Astrid
if she recognizes this.

Give me my horns, man!

No, no.

That's not it. Just a minute.

That's not it.

- What's not it?
- The way you sing it.

I'm sorry, Les.

It's not a wimpy song, you know.

It's got to be sung with balls.

Given, Ray, but they
can't be borrowed balls.

Recycled balls.
They have to be Fruit balls.

What he's saying is Keith used to
sing it with more...


You wouldn't know panache
if it bit you on the ass, Beano.

- Pill break.
- Hand them around.

From my herbalist.
They won't get you high.

- Yeah, well, we can try.
- Here.

Why don't I take the guitar break
on the synth... you can focus on the singing?

It'd help if I could hear myself
over Beano's drumming.

Sounds like he's building a shed.


He should go back on the sauce.
Get some juice back in his voice.

The guy's easing himself in.
We all are.

In an uncertain world, it's good
to know some things never change.

These stairs here?
Thank you.

Where have you been hiding?

Doing different things.

Wanted to get back in the biz,
make sure the timing's right.

Strange Fruit?

There's a whole new audience
discovering 70s stuff.

It's a great time to bring out
some reissues, maybe even a box set.

Listen to you, sweetie.

20 years ago, you were
Neil Gaydon's doormat.

Well, you were a tea boy
at Virgin, Clive.

- Came to you first.
- Only because I own their catalog.

I used to fancy Brian.

Had that dirty, sweet,
helpless Marc Bolan thing.

- Where is he, rehab or ashram?
- We're tracking him down.

The other guys are really juiced.

Strange Fruit.

Cool name.

Tour them. That's my advice.

Good idea. Maybe colleges?

Not the U.K., sweetie.
Get them across the Channel.

See what they've got.

How do you feel about your mom
getting back into this?

I hope we can pay
the mortgage next month.

Tell me, Clare.

What's the situation, boyfriend-wise?

I've had a couple.

Nothing serious.

I'm talking about your mother.

Why is a nice girl like you
putting herself through this crap again?

- Revenge?
- If it's crap, why are you here?

I seem to have this irresistible urge
to chronicle human folly.

I still love their music.

I want to stand in the dark and
see an audience feel the way I do.


Just keep singing!

You know why that is.

There's a hole
in the middle of this band.

It's called Brian Lovell.

All we need is a guitarist
with a bit of charisma.

Do you want a hit on this?

Haven't done that in years.

Now may be a very good time to start.

Could you sign this, please?

Sure, man.

"Best wishes... " who?

I need a signature for the pizzas.


Are you sure about this one?

He'll make you sound younger,
make you look younger.

He's all show-off.
We don't need him.

Clive's paying for these rehearsals.

He may underwrite a tour, but
he'll notice that Brian's not there.

There's got to be someone
brilliant in his place.

Ray's doing this for the boys.

We have many stoves in the fire.
We don't need it.

How are Kirby, Steele and Oakes?

I never listen to their music.

Your estate agents.
So don't tell me you don't need this.

You're a bloody nosy bitch.
Also a slut.

I remember Isle of Wight.

Come on, Ray.

Is that all right?

Call me.

You know I'll call.

I call you even when I'm up on a roof.

But if this thing works out... won't see me up a ladder again.

It took us a long time
to build this business.


And I hate it, Camille.

I really hate it.

Your train tickets
and your traveling checks.

I faxed Karen about your vitamins,
how many and how often.

Wish you were coming.

I'm not going on a bus
with them all drinking beer and farting.

Karen arrange flights for me.
Give her your credit card number.

I don't know it.

It's on your credit card.

Feast your eyes on this
magnificent land yacht.

Tinted windows, air conditioning,
and twin portaloos.

Not to mention an extensive
library of pornography...

...courtesy of the Psychedelic Furs'
world tour of 1988.

Step right up, ladies and gentlemen.

Pongs a bit in here.

Think one of the Furs
is still in here?

That's pedigree.

Smell that
Dettol... fag-ends... vomit.

Yes! I love the smell
of vomit in the morning!



Karen, look!

Harpoon that whale!

Go, Beano, go! You can do it!

- Peel rubber, Hughie!
- Paternity suit, eh?

Wait! Wait!

I bet she's bloody Inland Revenue,
come out of the woodwork.

- What's the problem?
- I owe the buggers 33,000 pounds.


Bad management.

In the history of the Fruits, you're
our strongest link to the past.

Thank you.

In all the time I've known you,
there's been zero growth.

You're what they call a "flatliner. "

It's better than being a "wanker. "

That's right.

Astrid will join us
in a couple of days.

Could somebody look into flights
and get some options?

Sure. No problem.

And when we get to wherever we're going,
I'll need a meeting.

Band meeting?

No. You know. A.A.

- Right.
- No problem.

So are you enjoying yourself,
doing wardrobe?

Trying to get Beano to change
his socks? Yeah, I'm mad for it.

Didn't you want to come?

I didn't have much choice.

Mom didn't want to leave me at home.

Afraid of what I might get up to.

America. That was the greatest,
weren't it?

If you say so.

We toured it on the back
of Sonic Handshake.

That was like our Sgt. Pepper.
We were mega.

Hollywood Bowl.

That was a great gig.

We never played the Hollywood Bowl.

Didn't we?

That's one of my
most vivid memories!

And it never happened?

I think this is us!

It's a fucking boat.

Grumbling ulcer.

Torn cartilage.

Dutch curry.

My God!
It's Night of the Living Dead 2.

I'll get some of them organ
donor cards. I'll be back.


And where's Tony?

He's throwing up.

- This place is a shithole.
- It's a happening shithole.

Tell him that we started out
in places like this.

He didn't. He waltzed in
when we were number one.

It was all white wine
and chicken wings in the dressing room.

Is that your idea of the highlife?
Warm bottle of Blue Nun?

Actually, I prefer
a very dry Montrachet.

If you spy any toothsome strumps,
bring them around.

- Not my job.
- It always was!

You are the man, Ray.

You are the man.

You are the man.

You are the goddamn motherfucking man.

Kick some ass!

Strange Fruit!

Hello, Belgium.

Holland, you prick.

One, two, three!

Fuck me!

I've got me a woman

Twice my height and size

She's a married woman
Comes to see me sometimes

You don't believe I love you

Magic, huh?

Doctors, civil servants, moguls.
They got no idea what it's like.


Go and have a word with him.

I'm stealing

Back to my same old used-to-be

I didn't feel like...

...I was happening tonight.

What are you talking about?

- I was shouting, not singing.
- Bollocks!

- You were brilliant.
- Was I?

You were like-


Love you, man.

I love you too, Tony.

What do you think, Luke?

I thought we were shit.

Kill that racket.

Come again?

We were totally crap.

Especially on "Heartbreaker. "

- I think we should dump that.
- It's a classic!

Maybe we should agree
what key it's in, then.

- B flat.
- C.

The sound was terrible,
and the stage-

Sit down, Karen.

Band stuff.


You got no right in saying that.

Sorry, man.

We've been around the block,
you shit!

We know who we are.
Been Fruits a long time.

You can't go calling us crap!

I was out of order.

And we weren't crap.

We were seriously, diabolically...


You're right.

Clogface! There's more than 200 people
in here. This is not enough.

Excuse me?

You make me horny.
I'll buy you a drink.

Pay what you owe me
and I'll buy you a drink, arsehole.

Almost sounded like a band
a couple of times.

People are finding their spaces,
you know?

Our lead singer isn't.

Same old fucking poseur.

Only this time,
he doesn't have the chops.

For chrissake, he'll get there.

He should be there.

Even if it's just
a pisshole in Hoogeven.


It's a pisshole in Groningen.

The Hoogeven pisshole is tomorrow.

I remember this old model.

Going to get something to eat?

Got other plans, have you?

You should be so lucky.

Haven't you got washing to collect?

Sorry, Mum.

No problem, mate.

No problem.

Fucking massacre them.

Take no prisoners,
you know what I'm saying?

Zoë Ball here in the Netherlands,
where Blind Fish begins their tour.

Also present,
rock veterans Strange Fruit.

All Over The World, remember?

Ray Simms, you must be a
big follower of the boys.

I got on their vibe
with their first album.

Favorite track?

The third one.

Why do they always assume that
the singer is the voice of the band?

How do you see your career?

When I look at my career,
I feel it's like the universe.

Unfolding on schedule.

Sorry. We'll be back.

- I don't know why we're here.
- Clive wants it.

The Fish are on his label.

We're in the same city.
It's a great P R. op.

How big are these buggers?

They're platinum in the States.

They don't mean shite in my local.

That was worth an hour
on the fucking autobahn.

They need a few minutes. Obviously.

Well, the chances of me
getting a shag around here is slim.

I'm off to the bar.

You okay?


I was, you know...

...feeling a bit fragile.

I needed a meet.

I forgot it'd be in Dutch.

I blew it last night.

I shouldn't have
let Clive talk me into it.

Just seeing them, you know...

...soar... brought it all back.

You know, what we were.

What you'll be again.

I've got a birthday tomorrow.

Do you know how old I'll be?

How old?


You haven't lost it, Ray.

You need the big stage,
the great arena.

That's the kind of artist you are.



My name's Ray...


...and I'm an alcoholic.


We zijn overeaters.

Dit is Overeaters Anonymous.

Thank you.

It's easy enough.

Just name a band whose name...

...corresponds with a body part.

I'll give you one: The Faces.

- Small Faces.
- Excellent. That's a point to you.

I've got it:


How about the Stones?
As in "kidney" stones.

Find someone to share
the condom with?

I only had that
out of a professional interest.

- Run that by me again?
- That's what I did in Ibiza.

It's not
something you boast about, but...

...I had the condom concession
for the Balearics.

I personally am in a
state of celibacy at this time.

- It's of no interest to me.
- It obviously is.

If not, you wouldn't be using
that snotty voice.

What snotty voice?

That voice you use on club owners
and waitresses.

Really doesn't bother me,
all right?

Then why did you ask me?

Thumbscrew! First band I was in.

Has to be a band
someone's heard of, Ray.

Bollocks, then.

You get two points for that.

- Spooky Tooth.
- Good.

Talking Heads!

Now we're rolling.
Einsteins, every one.

Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show!

Objection, Your Honor.


Some people have hook
instead of hand.

It's not a part of the body.
It's not anatomical.

It is if you ain't got
a fucking hand.

Only the footlights up first.

When the drums kick in,
everything up.

Hughie, I want to do
"Scream Freedom. "

The way we always did it,
with the amps up full volume.

Full? In this wee place?

Karen feels I need scale.
What do you think?

Sure, go for it.

"Scream Freedom. "

And the flame still burns

It's there in my soul

For that unfinished goal

And the flame still burns

From a glimmer, back then

It lights up again

In my life

It's a good song.

"The Flame Still Burns. "

Les and Brian wrote it
after Keith's death.

Why don't they play it?

You're in murky waters there.

For a while, Les stood in
as the lead singer.

But he was never a frontman.
It was obvious to everybody.

Is that why he's got it in for Ray?

The song always meant
a great deal to Les...

...but he always hated
the way Ray did it.

Ray wouldn't let
anybody else do the lead... they stopped doing it forever.

All part of the weird shit
that's the history of the Fruits.

It'd be cool to see
them make it again.

We wait with bated breath.

Sounds a bit grandiose to me,
dry ice in a place like this.

I saw a rat when I was taking a leak.
You don't get that in Albert Hall.

- Les hates "Scream Freedom. "
- I don't give a flying dog's bollock.

I've been doing this for years.
He's been whistling up a ladder.

It's full and noisy. Lots of
headbangers. Rough crowd.

Maybe we should cut
the Joni Mitchell tribute.

- Any sign of Astrid?
- Not yet.


Tokyo, 23,000 people.
Anaheim, 44,000 people.

Dallas, 67,000 people!

And you bring me headbangers!

Oh, go home!

Forget this, man.

It's supposed to be rock 'n' roll!

Not the Phantom
of the fucking Opera!

I know what you're up to.
I've known it since day one.

I can feel your eyes on me
every time I'm onstage.

Why can't you just get your notes right
and remember the lyrics?

I hate your fucking lyrics!

They're not meaningful poetry
like Brian's, right?

For him, the music was enough.
Before the hair and the limos.

All I remember about Brian
is missed cues, missed gigs... OD'd in a Little Chef.

You worshiped the ground he vomited on.

It's not because they're great.
It's because they're dead!

Maybe if I was dead,
I'd get some respect.

It would be a start.

I'm not fifty.

I'm not fifty!

Back off!

You got a problem, pick on me.

Where's Ray?

No one's seen him.

He's doing one of his moodies.

Don't go after him,
that's what he wants.

- Hope this isn't another Sunderland.
- What happened in Sunderland?

He tried to slash his wrists
with my Swiss Army knife.

He couldn't find the blade.

This could be serious.
He's on Prozac.

Prozac and alfalfa sprouts?
That could be lethal.

I love playing the guitar,
you know?

Ain't much joy
for me here tonight.

I think I'll retire to my boudoir...

...if the youngsters
will keep the noise down.

Hell, you sound like their father.

Might be.
We toured here 20 years ago.

And I know I had a shag then.

Know what your problem is?

You see yourself
as keeper of the flame.

All these reasons
for your anger.

Ray's style, Ray's taste,
Ray's lyrics.

His shoes piss me off.

You had your shot.
You couldn't hack it.

Dearie me, trouble in paradise?

Fuck off, Hughie!

Why'd you come on this ride?

Just to watch us
bollix it all up again?

Maybe the antique trade's
slow this time of year.

Blood, Sweat and Tears!


Name of a band.
Parts of the body.

Triple whammy, right?

The woman from the tax!

I thought I saw her at the gig.

- I want to go home. I'm sick of it.
- Not now.

But this is stupid!

Why don't we just pack it in?

What's he saying?

He wants the police
to impound your bus!

Tell him we're well-established
on the British music scene...

...and will live up
to their obligations.

Why don't you live up to yours
and get us out of here?

This isn't about me,
it's about him.

Hey, Fruit. Want to get high?

What you...

No, I...

What you got?

You want to go up,
or you want to go down?

Down. Definitely...


I heard you were here.

You okay?

No, not really, no.

They want to hold the bus
till I get money wired for damages.

What made me think I could do this?

It's only you who's
held us together this long.

You're going to need some help.

I want you to have this.

No. This is your fallback,
your rainy day.

It's yours now.

Where's the tooth?

Oh, shit. Oh, no! Where is it?

- So tiny...
- Bollocks!

Hold on, man! Quick, quick!


Stop! You're about to violate
a piece of rock 'n' roll history!

"They called him
the Prince of Darkness.

And he ruled the Zuider Zee.

And he had one mantra-"

Bugger me.

There we are.


Fuck. Oh, no.

Oh, no, no! Help, somebody!

Jesus! Help! Somebody!


Oh, my God!

Stay there! I'm coming!

Oh, my God!



Oh, God!

For God's sake, grab this!


I think I had a near-death experience.

It was almost a full-death experience.

- I slipped.
- You're on a frozen canal.

The tragedy for people like me is
our lives peak too early.


Famine's a tragedy, Ray.
Or knocking down the rainforests.

Anyway, some people's lives
never peak. Think about it.

Happy birthday, by the way.

I'm not fifty.


Maybe it wasn't his tooth, anyway.

That was the nicest thing
anyone's ever done for me.

I'd do anything for you,
you know that?

If you weren't so hung up on Brian,
I'd have married you years ago.

I told you once. Remember?
In Detroit.

- No, it was Cardiff.
- Close.



Let's get back to the hotel.

Why are you still chasing ghosts?

Can you move?

I am at Amsterdam at 3:00!
There is no limo.

I wait an hour.
I don't know who to call!

I get train to this terrible place!

The taxi driver's a fool!
He has not heard about the club.

I have to tell you,
I'm bloody pissed off!

Hello, baby.

I'm okay now, thank you.

Hello, baby.

- What's happening?
- What happened to you?

What have you taken?

I love you, Momma.

My God!


Cockney Rebel! "Cock" and "knee, "
bonus points for that one.

Who is this?


Sorry about that, darling.

Who the fuck is this?

Sorry, boss. I mean Karen.

- Get your socks on. We're leaving.
- What? Now?!

Come on, Tony-boy!

Here we go!

Easy, now!

Here we go!

Was this your tooth, Tony?

Hilarious, Beano.

Fucking hilarious.

Hello, man.

About last night...

It's a heavy thought that...

...I drove you to do
something that desperate.


Well, you know, man.

A dark night of the soul, I suppose.

Yeah, well.

There's maybe some things
I shouldn't have said.

Shouldn't have said them
20 years ago.

He says he's a very bastard pig.

Does Les think
Ray was trying to kill himself?

I may have given him
that impression, yes.

Best for the band, I thought.

You should know this.

Last night... the icy waters closed over me...

...I saw Brian.

What was he wearing?

I don't remember.

But I saw him so clearly.

Maybe he was on some
astral travel trip.

I don't know,
but he was sending a message.

And the message was positive, man.

Better call the club.
Tell them we might not make it.

The fates have conspired against us.

It was that
old Scottish phrase again:

- "If you don't succeed... "
- "... pull your foreskin over your head. "

Is that how you all feel?
Is it?

If it is,
we can all piss off home...

...and get on
with the rest of our lives.

Excuse me.

You go, maybe, to Antwerp?

Hasn't been decided yet, my lovely.

Where did you get that T-shirt?

This? It belonged my father.

Look at that.

Must've been through the wash
a few times.

My father, he died.

- Sorry.
- That's a shitter.

They were his favorite band.

He say, best band he ever saw.

It's another sign.

Brian sent her.

Thank you, Brian.

Band sounds good.


Excuse me!

Get lost, you slut!
He's mine!

I love you!

A week later, a record deal.
Straight into the studio.

And Ray let Les sing!

Just one song,
but on the scale of miracles...

...this rated at a level
with the Immaculate Conception.

Zoë Ball's program's on.

In a minute.
There's money on this.

I also caught up with
seminal 70s rockers, Strange Fruit.

Why play
such down-and-out venues?

This tour, we wanted to be...

...more grassroots, you know,
with the audience right in your face.

As a band, do you miss Brian?

If you want my opinion...

...Brian Lovell
was as near to a genius... you can get in this business.

Don't remember this.

You'd left.
She got them tanked up.

People who remember the Fruits...

...remember Keith and Brian.

They don't remember Wicksey,
Ray, or me.

Except maybe when I fell off
the stage once, pissed as a bollock.

No use kidding yourself we're
Strange Fruit, because we ain't.

Not with Brian and Keith ten feet under.

You dickhead, Beano!

Maybe if we was to call ourselves
"Slightly Strange Fruit. "

Or how about
"Fairly Ordinary Fruit"?

Or "Canned Fruit. " I'm canned.

Don't know about you.

Ray, come here!

- You fucking assholes!
- Hey!

This is set point!

- What's rattled your eyeliner?
- You two crapped all over this band!

- That's enough!
- Get off me!

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean... I'm sorry.

Leave it!

You'll be hitting each other
with your handbags next.

You never forgave me
for taking over from Keith!

Well... can find yourself
another fucking singer.

For chrissake!

This was about us.

This was our second shot.

And it was working.
Anybody who was at Antwerp saw it.

We were brilliant, better than
we ever were. We were a great band!

Stupid bastards!
Why couldn't you...

...bury the past before it buried us?


...a week later was the 25th
anniversary of Keith's death.

Because she didn't
have a grave for Brian...

...Karen went to pay her respects.

God, look at them all!

This one's written in Dutch.

"Even after all this time,
the flame still burns.

Love you, man. Brian. "

Where is he, Hughie?

He's alive, isn't he?

We went to the cemetery.
He sent flowers.

Probably a fan
with a twisted sense of humor.

Or you, looking after him
like you always did.

I thought he was dead!
Why did you put me through that?

- I love the wee guy.
- You're not the only one.

When he came back from the States,
he was a basket case.

I couldn't let him go through
all that shit again.

Maybe it wouldn't have been
all that shit again.

But wasn't it? There's no blinding
flash on the road to Damascus.

Listen, Hughie.
The guys don't deserve this.

You saw how close they were.

- You were there.
- Did you tell him?

How good they were?

As a matter of fact, I did.

I even let him hear a couple of tracks.

- You'll find him just over there.
- Thanks.

Maybe you should talk to him first.

I was trying to picture
what you would look like.

Still look like yourself.

You don't look much different.

A few more lines.

Less than you deserve.

How long have you been working here?

Since I stopped being a patient.

Kind of handy if I have a relapse.

But you're fine now, yeah?

Tchaikovsky, when conducting...

...used to cradle a hand on his head.

He thought it might fall off.

- Did you know that?
- No, I didn't.

Is that how you felt?

Is that why
you gave your royalties away?


The only way I could get away
from the life I had...

...was to start again with a new one.

Do you like my garden?

It's beautiful.

I write songs here.


I've got over a hundred of them
in a Sainsbury's plastic bag.

Did you play the Fruits' tracks?

Too much reverb for my taste,
but they were definitely happening.

They missed you.

I miss them.

Anything in the rules
says I can't give you a hug?

I don't think so.

Why did you leave me
all those years ago?

I didn't want to watch you die.

The house has much history.

Queen Victoria slept here,
and so did Steve Winwood.

You cannot see Ray.

He don't want to see you
bloody people again.

That's nice.

He'll see me.

Brian, careful!

I can see you, Brian.
So clearly.

Do you have a message?

Got a gig on Saturday, man.


A record number of people, maybe
200,000. Wisbech is happening!

Great to see you.

This is a great thrill for me.

Brian Lovell?

I'm pleased the rumors
of your demise were premature.

I hope we're on
after Mott the Hoople this time.

- After Mott and Little Feat.
- Little Feet, one point.

Questions, please.

So which Fruit's which?

I'm Posh Fruit.
Les is Sour Fruit.

Ray's the one with money.
He's Bread Fruit.

What does that make you, Brian?
Bruised fruit?

Brian, 20 years ago you said...

..."I'll never walk on stage
with the Fruits again. "

How do you feel about that now?

Since when did anyone
believe what they read?

Any new material on the tour,
or just golden oldies?

Any punch-ups on the tour?

- It was sweetness and light.
- Very mellow vibe.

Oh, fuck!

Did you plant the story of
Brian's death as a publicity stunt?

Of course not.

There are questions about your life.
Wasn't the pressure too much?

Was that when you lost your plot?

- Were you in a mental home?
- Or in a clinic?

- You used to be a patient-
- One question at a time, please.

Was the breakdown chemically induced,
or brought about by Keith's death?

Can you answer?

Let's go. Come on.

- You called a press conference!
- You've got a responsibility to answer.

Are you going to answer?

We need pictures, guys!

You people are really something!

All you want is a few free drinks
and a chance to tear people down.

Those guys deserve
a bit more respect.

You bunch of wankers!

Find Beano, love.
I want everyone to hear this.

Hear what?

Brian's not going on.

We knew it might happen.

With or without him, you'll be okay.

He just feels he could do
without all that flack again, you know.

Mr. Baggot!

Who are you?

You were in the first band I ever saw.

My father banned me from
seeing a rock concert again.

He was a Methodist.

- So what do you want from me?
- Quick, violent sex.

You're not from
the Inland Revenue, then?

What can I tell you?
I'm minus a drummer.

Don't pull this stroke on me.
You're not going on after Quo.

If you don't go on now,
they'll get ugly.

Listen, they're baying for our blood.

Let's find another drummer.
There's got to be a dozen here.

- Thank you very much for the loyalty.
- Where have you been?

- It doesn't matter. Are you okay?
- I'm very okay, as a matter of fact.

Shall we do this then?

All right, let's go.
Come on! Let's go, Fruits!

Okay, everyone, it's been far too long.

So let me hear you give a great welcome
to Strange Fruit!

Come on!

Go on!

"The Flame Still Burns. "

What key are we in?

E. B.

Don't you dare.

I was wrong about God.

Turns out He likes
that 70s stuff after all.

So it didn't piss down,
and they played four encores.

And with the Almighty in their corner,
who knows what might happen?

And how will the Fruits conspire
to bollix things up this time around?

We wait with bated breath.

I've got one. Tom Petty
and the Heartbreakers.

Here, I had one with "heart. "
Gerry and the Pacemakers.