Star Spangled Rhythm (1942) - full transcript
A Paramount Studios security guard who was a major actor during the silent film era must carry out the illusion that he is still a big deal when his sailor son comes to visit.
- Subtitles -
Lu?s Filipe Bernardes
Here they come.
Gee, I bet they'll be glad to meet
some girls for a change.
I hear they came all the way
from Iceland.
All the way from Iceland?
Count me out, I bruise too easy.
- California, here I come!
- Let's see the legs, old boy.
Now I know why Columbus
kissed the ground.
- But that ain't all he kissed.
- Oh, forget about that, fellas.
You just wait and see
what I've got for you.
It better be good, that's all.
- Hiya, sailors.
- Hey, come on, gangway, gangway!
Don't bother us!
I've never seen sailors act
that way before.
Me neither. Especially
after a long cruise.
Come on, will you, quit worrying.
But a bird in the hand is worth
two in the bush.
We know what's back there, we don't
know what you're leading us into.
Come on, fellas.
Oh, now, wait a minute, will you?
Listen to me, I tell you...
- What's the matter?
- Look up there.
All that to pick from and you're worrying.
Who's worrying? Boy, oh boy.
- All Paramunt girls, huh?
- Hey, see that blonde? That one's for me.
- I'll take the one in the end.
- Give me two of those and one of them.
- I ain't choosy, I'll take any of them.
- Which one is yours, Johnny.
Oh, mine ain't on any billboard.
Here's a guy who can help us out.
Hey, bud, how far is it to Hollywood?
- Forty miles.
- Forty miles, that far?
Um, you wouldn't be going that way
by any chance, would you?
Oh, so that's the gag. You're putting
this little act for my benefit, eh?
Oh, no, no, his father is a head
of the Paramount Studios.
That's where we're going.
And I'm an admiral in the Navy
and I'm not going.
- Who do you think you're kidding?
- I'm not kidding anybody.
If you don't believe me, come on,
I'll call him up.
Sure, there's a drugstore
right over there, Johnny.
- We'll show you.
- Come on, wise guy.
Hello, Paramount Studios?
I'd like to speak to Mr. William Webster.
- This is his son.
- William Webster?
What department's he in?
What do you mean what department
is he in, he runs the whole studio.
One moment, please.
Hey, Polly, there's a dope on this line
wants to talk to a William Webster.
- Says he runs the studio.
- William Webster?
Yes, says he's his son.
Oh... it's Johnny!
Let me take the call!
Oh, that's that sailor you've
been writing to.
Mr. Webster's secretary's secretary.
Oh, I'd like to talk to Mr. Webster,
this is his son.
That was his secretary's secretary.
Okay, you got yourself a chauffeur.
But if this is a trick,
I'll kick your teeth in.
Mr. Webster's office.
Why, Johnny, honey, when did you get in,
where are you?
This is Polly.
Oh, hello, Polly!
Still working for Dad, huh?
- Oh, yeah!
- Ask about the girls.
Oh, I'm anxious to meet you too.
If you look anything like those
pictures you sent me,
gosh, I don't want to meet
any movie stars.
- I wanna see Betty Rhodes.
- Shh.
Oh, yes, dear, I...
- Blondes!
Your father's in a conference right now,
but I'll call him.
Just a minute.
William Webster.
Hey, is your old man Bronco Billy Webster
I used to see in the movies years ago?
Sure, that's him. Dad got a little
too heavy to ride on a horse.
Gee, I haven't seen him myself
since he got this new job.
Brace youself, Pop, I got
a surprise for you.
Johnny's on the phone.
He is?
Well, where is he calling from?
Well, um... does he know
that I'm a...
A gateman? Not yet, you old flivver.
Hang on.
Johnny!
Yeah, it's good to hear your voice.
Why didn't you let me know
you were coming?
Oh, I didn't even know myself.
I'm fine, Dad, how are you?
They keeping you busy?
Oh, yeah, I, um...
I got a reception room full
of people right now.
My time's up, Dad, so look, listen,
we'll be right in there...
...and you tell Polly I'm gonna bring
a couple of fellas with me. Bye!
Polly! Polly!
I got it, Pop, I'll be right down!
Liz, take over for me, will you?
I might be a little late
to get back from lunch.
Imagine, going wacky over a guy
you've never seen.
- Well, why not?
- But you've only seen his picture.
Listen, honey, where I come from
we do all our shopping from a catalog.
See you later!
Johnny was always so proud of me.
I just couldn't tell him that
Bronco Billy Webster...
...was all washed up in pictures.
But gee, Pop, you didn't have
to tell him...
...you were executive vice-president
in charge of production.
I know, but it sounded so nice.
- Hey, you!
- Yes, Mr. DeSoto.
If you can't watch this gate,
we'll get somebody who can.
- No, Mr. DeSoto.
- What?
I mean, yes, Mr. DeSoto.
Pop, wait a minute, I got a brainstorm.
How good an actor were you?
Well, I don't like to talk
about myself, but...
I was considered one of the best
riders in the horse operas.
I wish you could have seen me.
Riding like the wind,
indians all around me!
- I grabbed my gun and...
- That's good enough for me. Come on!
Mr. DeSoto's office, yes?
Sorry to inform you, but
Mr. DeSoto got a dizzy spell...
...just as he leaving the lot,
he has to go right home.
Yeah... and he wants you to go
to his house right away.
Oh, thank you.
By the way, who's this?
This? Why, um... this is Miss Bagroll
of the stellar fire department.
Oh... who? Hello?
Hello?
More new people around here.
Here, Pop, you'd better get rid of this.
Well, what'll I do with it?
First thing we gotta do is get you out of
that uniform. What size suit do you wear?
Forty-eight.
- Doesn't he look great?
- Swell.
Put him in there, Pop.
I'll get you some clothes from wardrobe, but
first I wanna leave word about Johnny.
- Reception desk.
- Hello?
This is Mr. DeSoto's office. We're expecting
a Johnny Webster and several sailors.
Yes.
If they ask for, um... um...
If they ask for anybody,
send them in here.
That's right, thank you.
Pop, we're sitting pretty.
I'll get you, sailor!
Yes, sir, Mr. Webster, go right in.
It's the fourth door on the left.
- Thanks.
- This is alright.
How do you like that, "Mr. Webster".
I guess you believe him now,
don't you, Duffy?
Sure, some swanky joint.
Yeah, and you wanted to waste your time
with those tomatoes down at the dock.
- Well, I...
- Uh-oh, hold it.
Hi, cutie.
Hey, hey, hey!
Cut it out, remember where you are.
- I was just gonna talk to them.
- Come on.
And no cracks in front of my girl.
She's kinda bashful.
She might be a little embarrassed
meeting me for the first time.
Oh, well, it's okay,
don't worry about us.
She's the refined type.
Darling!
Hello, Polly.
Oh, I thought you wouldn't to be
more wonderful than I thought.
- Bashful.
- Embarrassed.
Refined too.
- The mother type.
- Yeah.
- Is my father in?
- Uh-huh.
- Can I go in to see him?
- Uh-huh.
- Can I have my neck back?
- Uh-huh.
Isn't he wonderful?
It's my fellow.
- Hello, Dad. Gee, I'm glad to see you.
- I'm glad to see you too.
Yeah, my sailor boy.
You know, I bought you your first sailor
suit when you were three.
- But I didn't get a balloon with this one.
- It wasn't a balloon, it was a whistle.
Kinda showing me off, huh?
Well, why not, it isn't everybody
has a son in the Navy.
Oh, I'm kinda proud of having a dad
who runs a movie studio.
Gee, and the way you went right
to the top, practically overnight.
It was even faster than that.
Say, Dad, I have some fellows outside
and they'd like to meet you.
Oh, sure, I'll have Polly bring
them right in.
Boy, that's quite a gadget.
Yeah, isn't it?
The boys, I thought they'd
like a little drink.
- Oh, gee, that's swell.
- I'll have them right in.
"Equalizer is second and here
comes Ligarotti."
It's going to be a driving finish, Ligarotti
is going into the lead now and...
Come on, give him the whip...
So you're still playing on them, eh?
No, I... I... was just trying to get Polly.
Polly!
Polly!
I guess it must have been
a short circuit.
Oh, poor dear. His mind's so full of...
It's so full.
He doesn't understand anything
mechanical.
Nerves.
Oh, hi, fellas, come on in,
I want you to meet my Dad!
- Hiya, boys.
- Hello, Mr. Webster.
Ramrod.
Eddie McNooney, Billy Kovachek,
and High Pockets.
Mr. Webster, it's a pleasure to shake the hand
that picked up Dorothy Lamour's option.
- Hey, will you have a cigar?
- Certainly.
- Go ahead, take some..
- Thank you very much.
- Now how about a little drink?
- That'd be swell!
- What are you gonna have?
- Give me a sloe gin fizz.
Bourbon with rocks.
Hello!
Well, here I am.
Yeah, that's right.
Shall I... do it here?
Huh?
Yes, I think this will be quite ducky.
My goodness, did you hurt yourself?
Oh, of course not. I always like
to feel the floor before I start.
Start what?
My audition, silly, as if you
didn't know.
I don't believe it.
Nobody could make herself up
to look like that even for money.
Why you chinless totem pole.
- Why don't you keep your yapping...
- Why don't you come back tomorrow?
- We're terribly busy today.
- Yeah, you'll have to come back tomorrow.
Oh, now, wait a minute, Dad, we'd love
to see her act, wouldn't we, fellas?
Sure.
Why, gee, guys, you're swell.
Now, where's the accompanist?
Oh, the accompanist, he couldn't
come today.
- But he'll be here tomorrow.
- Yeah!
And Eddie plays the piano.
Oh, wonderful!
Now you better get out there before
somebody else comes in.
- Okay.
- Oh...
What'll I do if that dictograph
thing buzzes?
No matter who it is or what they ask,
just say it stinks.
- Huh?
- That's the way all the big executives do it.
A-one, a-two...
Remember, this is my audition.
Oh!
Reception desk.
Listen. Mack, Mr. DeSoto has a twin
brother you just arrived in town.
Looks and talks just like him.
He may try to cross the lot and
Mr. DeSoto doesn't want to see him.
And don't let him use the
studio phone.
Oh, I see, sort of a black sheep, huh?
Is Mr. DeSoto in his office now?
Okay, I'll notify the gates.
Hello, Liz. You know DeSoto's
voice, don't you?
Yeah, sure.
Listen, no matter who he asks for,
connect him in here.
- Just a minute, sir.
- Yes?
Gosh, for a moment I'd have sworn
you were Mr. DeSoto himself.
Well, who do you think I am,
you idiot?
- I'm sorry, but you can't go in.
- What?
I said I'm sorry, but you can't go in.
Mr. DeSoto's too busy to see you today.
Look, are you crazy, I'm Mr. DeSoto.
Yes, I know, but Mr. DeSoto's office just
called and said he couldn't see you today.
Look if this is a gag, I don't like it.
It isn't a gag, Mr. DeSoto.
Mr. DeSoto's tied up.
Oh, no you don't.
- You're fired.
- Okay, so I'm fired.
- Let me have that phone.
- This is a studio phone.
You'll find a public phone right over there.
And please, Mr. DeSoto, I'm a very busy man.
- Yes, miss?
- I have an appointment to see Mr. Waverly.
- Your name, please.
- Miss Francis.
- Paramount Pictures.
- Hello!
This is Mr. DeSoto.
Give me my office right away.
Oh, yes, Mr. DeSoto.
- Hello?
- This is Mr. DeSoto. Where's my secretary?
Why isn't she in the office?
Why, she was taken ill, Mr. DeSoto, when she
heard you were fired and barred from the lot.
Who's been fired?
Who's been fired from the lot?
Why you...
Hello!
Hello!
Boy, is he burning.
Give me Mr. Freemont's office.
Hello, Polly? He's on again.
He's calling the front office.
- Mr. Freemont's office.
- Get me Mr. Freemont.
Please, sir, you don't have to shout so.
Who's calling?
This is Mr. DeSoto, is Mr. Freemont in?
- Well, let me speak to him!
- Just a moment, please.
Mr. Freemont! Mr. DeSoto wants
to talk to you.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir, I'll tell him.
Hello, Mr. DeSoto.
Mr. Freemont says he ran that
picture you just finished.
He'll meet you at your lawyer's
office at 6 o'clock. So sorry.
That's the picture business for you.
It's too bad you boys aren't going
to stay around awhile.
I'd whip up the biggest show
any of you have ever seen.
I'd put every star on the
Paramount lot in it.
Oh boy, Dad, that would be terrific!
But you're not going to stay
around long, are you?
- No.
- Oh, that's too bad.
Maybe when we come back,
Mr. Webster.
Yeah, maybe, if I'm still here.
Of course you...
...never can tell about this picture
business, you know.
I guess I'll have to answer that.
- Hello, B.G. Cecil DeMille speaking.
- Uh-huh.
You know how much everybody talked about
The Giant Squid and Reap the Wild Wind?
- Well, I got a much better idea.
- It stinks.
- What was that again?
- It stinks!
Well!
The odor'll be a little better
when I get over there.
Oh... hello, Mr. DeMille.
I want to see Mr. DeSoto.
Who's in there?
Why, he's busy playing some
records for some people.
I don't care what he's doing.
Tell him I want to see him.
And he'll wish it was the squid.
Couldn't you come back a little
later, Mr. DeMille?
Is it my diction or your hearing
that's failing?
Tell him I want to see him right now.
Yes, sir, I'll tell him.
Thank you.
Pop, we gotta get out of here.
Cecil B. DeMille's outside and he's awful
mad about something.
- Oh, boy... what about them?
- Don't worry, I'll take care about them.
I can't go out without my uniform.
- Where is it?
- It's in the closet.
You go on ahead,
I'll take care of everything.
Well, fellas, break it up. Pop's gonna take
you outside and show you some sets.
- Lots of girls?
- Yes!
Honey, you're all fixed. Cecil B. Demille's
out there waiting for you.
Just tell him Mr. DeSoto said you're going
to be in his next picture.
Now go on out there and turn
on the charm.
Oh, that's wonderful!
Mr. DeMille! Did you hear that?
I'm so happy!
You better see a projection
room first.
- Maybe there'll be some girls in here.
- Good, good!
Who is it?
That's odd...
- Is that you, boss?
- Uh-huh.
Who's that with you?
Just some boys from the Naval
Base, Mr. Sturges.
Oh, fine, fine.
Sit down, kids, sit down.
Thought you were out to lunch,
but now that you're here...
I'd like you to see the
Mary Martin-Dick Powell number.
Uh-huh.
Run that Dreamland number next.
Here's your suit, Pop.
I'll get back to the gate and watch out for us
because we may have to come out that way.
Quiet!
- I'll be glad when this is over.
- Go on.
# Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle #
# Goes the star #
# Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle #
# There you are #
# Time for all good children #
# To hit the hay #
# Cock-a-doodle-doodle-doodle #
# Soon we'll greet another day #
# We should be on our way #
- Oh, pardon me.
- Me too.
- Waiter!
- Yessir.
- Two more, please.
- Yessir.
# Bye-bye, baby #
# Time to hit the road to Dreamland #
# You're my baby #
# Dig you in the land of nod #
# Hold tight, baby #
# We'll be swinging up in Dreamland #
# All night, baby #
# Where the little cherubs trot #
# Look at that knocked out moon #
# Been a-blowing his top in the blue #
# Never saw the likes of you #
# What an angel #
# Bye-bye, baby #
# Time to hit the road to Dreamland #
# Don't cry, baby #
# It was divine #
# But the rooster has finally crowed #
# Time to hit the road #
# Bye-bye, baby #
# Time to hit the road to Dreamland #
- Waiter.
- Yessir?
Could I have a little more
water, please?
# Hold tight, baby #
# We'll be swinging up in Dreamland #
- And, waiter.
- Yes, ma'am.
- Could I have a spoon, please?
- Yes, ma'am.
# Pardon me, ma'am, and pardon me, sir #
# This is not a job that we'd prefer #
# But it's strictly #
# The railroad regulation #
# That we close this car #
# Before we reach the station #
# So if you'll forgive our effrontery, #
# We'll be as brief as we can be #
# Yes, yes, good children #
# Time to hit the road #
# King Solomon once in his wisdom said #
# There's nothing quite like #
# A good feather bed #
# That may not be just the written word #
# So don't quote me, 'cause I only heard #
# And then I could've misunderstood #
# But if he didn't say that, #
# Then he certainly should #
# 'Cause in this world #
# With it's killing pace #
# A man's gotta find a good resting place #
# It says early to bed, early to rise #
# Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise #
# Yes, yes, good children #
# Time to hit the road #
# With everything connected and mechanized #
# If you do get nervous, #
# I ain't surprised #
# But listen, good people #
# You can cure ills #
# With capsules, tablets #
# And vitamin pills #
# And the only thing to rest your head #
# Is a good night's sleep in a quilted bed #
# So just resolve to be good and firm #
# 'Cause the early birds #
# Are gonna catch the worm #
# Yes, yes, good children #
# Time to hit the road #
# Now see that moon shinin' way up there #
# He has to chop the raw meat #
# And he ain't nowhere #
# He's dying to get some shuteye too #
# But he's got to stay up #
# And light the way for you #
# So be good, children, treat him right #
# He'll shine like a lantern #
# Tomorrow night #
# It's half-past two #
# And that ain't no crime #
# We hope that you had #
# A most enjoyable time #
# We surely do thank you #
# For your friendly call #
# But we're forced by law #
# To say good night, all #
# Yes, yes, good children #
# Time to hit the road #
# Hey, say, baby #
# Time to hit the road to Dreamland #
# Okay, baby #
# Don't think that we all need a building #
# To fall on us #
# Time to dim the lamp #
# Time to hit the ramp #
# Oh, back to our abode #
# Time to hit the road #
# Time to hit the road #
# Yes, yes, good children #
# Time to hit the road #
# Just getting on #
# Just getting on #
Well, how did you like it?
- Where is he?
- Why, he seems to have gone, Mr. Sturges.
Gone? A fine executive he is,
what's the matter with him?
I don't know.
I did hear him say he'd be glad
when it was over with.
- He said what?
- There must be some mistake, Mr. Sturges.
There's no mistake, I know
his underhanded ways.
- What?
- Besides, what do you know about it?
Nothing, Mr. Sturges, nothing.
I think I'm going to Metro.
Temperament.
Well, come on, fellows, I'll show you
some of the stages.
How are you?
Hi, sir.
- All right.
- Hello, Mr. DeSoto.
Look, Bronco,
I know you've had your instructions,
but couldn't you just...
...turn your back for a moment?
- Turn my back?
- We won't tell a soul.
I've got to get on the lot.
It's a matter of life and death.
You mean you just want
to get on the lot?
- That's right.
- That's alright with me, Mr. DeSoto.
Thanks, Bronco, I'll never
forget you for this.
Now, if I can just get in to see Freemont,
I can prove to him that that picture
was not my fault.
You can be honest with me, B.G.,
is the picture really that bad?
It can't be... I don't think.
- Preston!
- Hm?
Preston, something terrible
has happened to me.
Good!
Fair-weather friend.
And to think I gave him his
first picture.
The cops!
They've taken your name
down already.
Twenty years it took me
to get it up there.
Two decades.
Hello, C.B. Did you hear
what they've done to me?
The less I see of you, the better.
Deserted.
Just when I needed a friend.
Might as well start packing.
Let's see, who was that writer that wanted
a secretary with nursing experience?
I'm not in.
Mr. DeSoto's office.
- Oh, yes, he is!
- I told you I'm not in!
It's Freemont's office.
Hello? Hello?
Yes, yes, he's right here.
- Hello, Frank?
- I just ran your picture, B.G.
- And I want to congratulate you, sir.
- You just ran it?
Yes?
Yes, one of the finest pieces of work
you've ever turned out.
Really?
Well, thanks, Frank.
That's high praise coming
from you, Frank.
No, I wasn't a bit worried
about this picture.
Okay, Frank!
Looks like we're back in business.
He's crazy about it.
Says it'll outgross Holiday Inn.
and I'll bet you my right eye...
Wait a minute, wait a minute, there's
something screwy going on around here...
...and I'm going to find out what it is.
Sarah. I've got enemies on this lot.
Quislings stabbing me in the back.
Could be somebody's ribbing you.
Impossible, I phoned Freemont's
office myself...
...and Mack had instructions
to keep me out.
Sarah...
You don't suppose Freemont was
soft-soaping me just now?
- Why should he?
- Who knows?
When I think what can happen
to a man in this business.
It frightens me.
It scares me too.
Sarah! Sarah!
Look at this!
Somebody's been sitting in my chair.
Somebody's been drinking at my bar.
Somebody's been smoking my cigars!
And smoked them all up!
Must've been goldilocks.
Aha!
Sarah! Sarah, you've been entertaining
eskimos in my office.
Boy, fellas, take a look at that!
Those are the girls we saw
on the billboard.
- Where's the blonde?
- Let's get closer.
- Come on!
- Quiet, please!
Shh!
- Looks like we got an audience.
- One of them's DeSoto's son.
- Is that so?
- Yeah.
Okay, sailors, make yourselves comfortable.
Alright, boys, put on the playback,
let's go.
Places! Quiet!
Make it good, folks.
# Like some old tabby #
# Who sleeps in the sun #
# I dream all day #
# Of the night that is done #
# Not the we frequent the same habitat #
# But in a way #
# I'm old cat #
# Life is fine with my baby #
# On the swing shift #
# On the line with my baby #
# On the swing shift #
# Oh, it's the nuts #
# there among the nuts and bolts #
# Plus a hundred thousand volts #
# Shining from his eyes #
# He's indoors Ed so what care I #
# If they put me on the wing shift #
# He's nearby in the fuselage #
# Overtime, here's why I'm doing it free #
# Baby's with me #
# On the swing-shift jamboree #
# Life is fine with my baby #
# On the swing shift
# On the line with my baby #
# On the swing shift #
# He's for me #
# He's the whole darn factory #
# Gets the love machinery #
# Working in my heart #
# He's the beautiful bomber #
# What care I #
# If they put me on the wing shift #
# He's nearby painting camouflage #
# Overtime, here's why I'm doing it free #
# Baby's with me #
# On the swing-shift jamboree #
# Forward all #
# Fall back all #
# First and third, forward, back #
# Forward again, side to side #
# Swing in the center and swing outside #
# Meet your partner, promenade eight #
# Round the old track in the Yukon State #
# Ladies to the center and back to the bar #
# Gents to the center and form a star #
# Left hand back, grab your partner #
# Promenade #
# Gents swing out, ladies swing in #
# Ladies swing out and all of them swing #
# Flashing fancy, triggering light #
# Allreed, allrood, allrood, alright #
# Jack be nimble, Jill be lithe #
# That's right, Margaret #
# Keep your feathers high #
# Swing your chick on the double quick #
# Blow my topper and button my socks #
# When the cat starts jumping #
# The dance hall rocks #
# What care I #
# If they put me on the wing shift #
# He's nearby in the fuselage #
# Overtime, here's why I'm #
# Still doing it free #
# Everyone of you come join us #
# On the swing-shift jamboree #
Well, what are we waiting for?
Cut! Cut!
Hey, what is this?
Get those sailors out of here!
Come on, sailor,
we gotta get out of here!
See you later, now!
- Did you have a good time, fellas?
- I wish we could stay a little longer.
- Oh, so do I.
- Do you? Oh, darling!
- Hello, Dad, what are you doing in there?
- I just stopped to use the telephone.
- What's the matter, are you cold?
- No, it's just a little drafty in here.
The line's busy.
Come on, we want you to ride
down to the harbor with us.
We won't take no for an answer.
Johnny, I said...
Paulette Goddard!
Paulette Goddard?
Oh, my God!
Well, open the gate!
Now where can that gateman be?
Don't worry, Mr. Webster, I'll open it.
Wait a minute, I'll help you!
Hiya, sailors!
Hi, Pop!
So she calls you Pop, hm?
They all call me Pop.
We're just one big happy family here.
Who is that, Pop?
You know, I think I will take
the afternoon off.
Come on, let's hurry while I can
still get away.
Oh, boy!
# Mr. Beau, get this right #
# I'm your dame for tonight #
# For when I hold you tight #
# I'm doing it for defense #
# Months and months, you've been drilled #
# Now it's time you were thrilled #
# Start from here, then we will #
# I'm doing it for defense #
# If you touch my lips
# And you feel they've responded #
# Just 'cause I can't afford a bun #
# If you think you're Cary Grant #
# Brother, relax #
# You're just a rebate on my income tax #
# Don't get hurt, don't get sore #
# I'm a pal, nothing more #
# This ain't love, this is more #
# I'm doing it for defense #
# Once I start, I can't quit #
# I said I do my bit #
# Sorry, bud, but you're it #
# I'm doing it for defense #
# Forces are for today #
# Just relax, come what may #
# Duty calls my own way #
# I'm doing it for defense #
# Your morale needs building up #
# You must agree #
# Your morale stays built #
# When it's built by me #
# Put your face to starboard #
# And give us a kiss #
# Heaven help us meeting #
# On a night like this #
# Let's pretend I was pecked #
# Your defense must be cracked #
# This ain't war #
# It's murder, Jack #
# I'm doing it for defense #
I told you before there's no more
boats coming ashore tonight.
We ain't waiting for a boat,
we're waiting for a signal.
Well, Polly, I wonder if we're doing
the right thing.
- Johnny thinks I'm a rich man.
- Sure he does.
He thinks he's rich and I'm poor.
He wants to marry me anyway. Does that prove
he loves me or doesn't it?
- Yeah, I guess it does.
- That's good enough for me, Pop.
I hope it's good enough for the captain.
Isn't this a bit sudden, Webster?
We've only been aboard a few hours.
Yes, sir, it is, sir. But Polly thought
we ought to get married right away.
Well, since your father is
a man of some means...
...and the girl's not depending
on you for support,
I can have no objection to
the marriage, but...
- Oh, thank you, sir.
- Just a moment, Webster.
- I said "but".
- I'm sorry.
But since we are expecting sailing
orders at any moment,
there will be no shore leave
granted for anybody.
- No shore leaves?
- I'm afraid not.
But I only want to get married, sir.
I can't make any exceptions, it wouldn't
be fair to the rest of the crew.
Could I bring her onboard ship, sir?
You know better than that, Webster.
That'll be all.
Yes, sir.
Oh, sir.
Would the captain permit
the ship's crew to go ashore...
...if they all stayed in one place,
like the canteen auditorium?
- What do you mean?
- Well, I just remembered.
My father said he'd be glad to put on
a big show for the crew.
Show, what kind of a show?
With a lot of Paramount movie
stars in person.
All I have to do is telephone him
in the morning, sir.
Hm, it might be a good thing
for the morale.
Excellent, sir.
The crew's only had one day. Surely
they'd appreciate a little entertainment.
Oh, they sure would, sir.
Very well, Webster, unless we get
our sailing orders before then,
I'll have all hands assembled in the canteen
auditorium at six tomorrow evening.
Oh, thank you, sir!
Uh...
And could I get married there too?
You can even have your
honeymoon there.
Oh, thank...
...you, sir.
You know, I'm quite a movie fan myself.
- Really, sir?
- Oh, yes.
I wonder if Theda Bara will be there.
- All set, give them the signal.
- Oh, swell.
Look! Yippee!
- The captain said yes!
- Oh, Pop!
Oh, Pop, it's all set!
- Hey, what's going on here anyway?
- We're gonna be married!
Ain't you ashamed?
Hello? Paramount Studios?
Mr. Webster's office, please.
One moment, please.
Here's your boyfriend.
Mr. Webster's office.
Oh, hello, Johnny.
Where do you want me to meet you?
Well, I'm not coming in, honey,
you're coming out.
Yeah. You and Dad, and Bob Hope,
and Bing Crosby,
Dick Powell, Fred MacMurray, Ray Milland
What is this, a stag party?
And Dorothy Lamour, and Paulette Goddard,
Veronica Lake, Mary Martin,
Betty Rhodes...
...and all the other girls you can
find on the way.
Well, there's a lot of us, you know.
What are you talking about?
Yes... yes...
And the captain's going to have the whole
crew assembled in the canteen auditorium.
What do you mean?
But Dad said he'd love to put on
a show for the sailors.
But this is awful short notice
to get all those people together.
Say, do you want to marry me,
or don't you?
Well, no show, no wedding.
And besides, it's good for the morale.
No, not the wedding, the show.
Six o'clock sharp?
Oh, of course I'm happy.
No, your father isn't in the office
right now, but...
I'll tell him when he comes in.
Goodbye, dear.
Oh...
What's the matter? Your boyfriend
coming to the studio again?
Worse. I got to take the studio to him.
Pop!
- What's the matter?
- Plenty!
- You gotta be DeSoto again.
- Again? Oh, no, I won't!
- Oh, yes you will!
- But I can't, Polly, please.
So you had to be a big shot and promise
to put on a big show for rhe Navy, huh?
- Well, I just said that to make...
- You'll be DeSoto and like it.
What... what are you going to do?
Polly!
Hello, Mr. Hope's dressing room.
Who is this?
This is Mr. DeSoto's secretary.
Mr. DeSoto would like to speak to you.
Wait a minute!
Mr. Hope isn't in right now,
but I expect him back in a few minutes.
I'll have him call Mr. DeSoto
as soon as he gets in.
Thank you!
Polly, haven't we had
trouble enough?
Well, didn't you get yourself into it?
Nine-thirty! DeSoto and his secretary
never get in before ten o'clock.
- Come on!
- But I won't be DeSoto again...
Wait a minute, Polly, why can't we tell
Johnny that it's impossible to get a show on?
What, and spoil my marriage?
I should say not!
That must be Mr. Hope now.
Hello? This is Mr. DeSoto's office.
Oh, just a moment, I'll put him on.
Now don't forget,
pretend you've got a bad cold.
- Hello?
- Here's DeSoto.
He's got a frog in his throat.
His voice is a little jumpy.
- I just made that up.
- Undo it.
Hello, B.G.?
Say, you have got a bad throat,
haven't you?
I have just the thing for it.
I'll tell you what I called
you up about, Bob.
I'm putting on a show for
the sailors tonight and...
I wanted to get you to help me out.
Well, I can't make it tonight.
No, not tonight, Veronica Lake's gonna
show me her other eye tonight.
She has got another eye, hasn't...
Oh, hello, B.G.
Good morning, Bob, I'd like to talk
to you a minute.
Okay, B.G.
Now look, B...
Wait a minute, what...
Say, isn't the telephone
a marvelous invention?
Here you are walking through the door and
I'm talking on the phone at the same time.
Must be a party line...
You haven't got a twin brother,
have you?
What, again? Now look, Bob, were you
responsible for that gag?
What gag? All I know is I'm talking to
someone in your office who says he's you.
What?
Look, Bob, you keep talking to him
till I get over there.
Enemies! Nothing but enemies!
His best friend should tell him...
...if he has one.
Look, B.G. Look, I'll try and break
that appointment tonight.
No, I'll be glad to.
Yeah.
Say, did I ever tell you about the time
my partner and I played Topeka?
Well, we had a very refined act,
we both got inside of a horse...
Well, I can't tell you what
part of the horse I played...
...except that wherever my partner
walked I was a little behind.
Yeah.
That's very funny.
Hurry up, Pop, we've got a lot
of other calls to make.
He's telling me about Topeka.
Yeah!
You?
Okay. So we quit.
- Save you the trouble of firing us.
- Oh, it's no trouble at all.
- I'm sorry if we've caused you any bother.
- I want to know who put you up to this.
- Nobody.
- You're lying. It's a conspiracy.
- You're protecting someone higher up.
- No, I'm not, am I, Polly?
- Get out!
- Alright.
- Oh, here.
- No!
I didn't shoot him.
You tell him that I returned
the company's crystal.
Come on, Pop.
Poor Johnny, he'll be the laughing
stock of the whole ship.
Not only that, they'll probably
throw him in jail.
They shouldn't do that.
It's not his fault that he's got
an old fool for a father.
Oh, Pop, you're not an old fool.
- I've certainly been acting like one.
- Oh, Pop.
Well, you send Johnny a telegram
telling him that the show is off...
...and I'll go down and explain.
I'd like to go with you.
No, Polly, if you don't mind,
I want to be alone with him.
Alright. Will you tell him
that I love him?
- I will. Goodbye, Polly.
- Goodbye, Pop.
- Hello, Mr. Crosby.
- Hi, Casey.
- How's Mr. Crosby Junior?
- I'm fine, thanks.
I suppose you've come watch
your daddy make pictures.
No, Dorothy Lamour's working today.
This is to hope too much, hm?
How about getting in?
You know I got orders
to keep you out of here.
But I only want to talk
to Mr. Crosby for a minute.
Can't be done.
Oh, it's important, Casey,
I've gotta do it.
I'm not asking for myself,
it's for Pop.
Nothing doing. I'd like to help old Bronco,
but I don't want to lose my job.
I'm sorry, Polly.
Trying to impress the studio?
Oh, no, I'm just trying to get
over the wall.
- You want a lift?
- Yeah, will you help me?
Let go of me.
Don't you want to help the lady?
Let go of me.
Let go.
Lady, please, get me out of this.
Will you let go of him?
You let go of me!
Let go of me!
I gotta get over there.
Thanks...
Why did I ever meet you two?
Look, will you go away,
I'll do it myself.
Here you are, lady.
What are you doing up there?
- Get down here!
- Look!
Will you just forget you came down
the corner and leave me alone?
Come here...
Come here, lady.
Get my foot out...
Go away and leave me alone.
Look. I'm the one that's going
over the wall, not you!
That's right. Come here, you.
- Lady, lady!
- Oh...
Look, you stand over here.
You get out of here!
Now brace yourself and don't move!
- Ready?
- Ready!
- Put me down, please!
- Put him down!
Put me down, put me down!
You get up here!
Now get your face to that wall
and stay there!
And you get up there too!
Here, put these over the wall.
I'm getting over that wall
if it's the last thing I ever do.
This has gone far enough!
Why did I ever get into this again?
Will you let me get out...
Let me out!
Let go of me!
Let go! Let go!
Let go of me!
Let go of me, you chimps!
Let...
Well, MacMurray.
You should be proud of yourself,
a fellow your size hitting a man
when his back is turned.
- Me? What are you talking about?
- Never mind, never mind.
Even if you didn't like the script,
we could have talked it over.
- You didn't have to slug me.
- Now wait a minute...
Now wait a minute!
You'll see my lawyers.
I'll sue you for every cent
I paid you.
But gee, Mr. Crosby,
if the show doesn't go on tonight,
it's just gonna break poor
old Pop's heart.
- Mine too.
- Oh, you can get a lot of acts without me.
- What about Bob Hope?
- Oh, I can't get Bob Hope.
But just between you and me,
what's Hope without Crosby?
Oh, you saw My Favorite Blonde, huh?
- I put the boy over, didn't I?
- Sure did.
- All ready for you, Bing.
- Coming.
Gee, I'd like to help you out.
Pop's a nice guy and all that.
But I don't think I can get off
the set that early.
Why not?
- Well, as you say, why not?
- You mean you will?
Sure, I'll get Mary Martin, Fred MacMurray,
some of the others.
Gee, thanks, Mr. Crosby!
I'll see you tonight.
- Did you get him?
- Yeah, I got him!
Oh, boy!
I still think you got the wrong Crosby!
- Yes, Henry.
- You have a son, haven't you, B.G.?
Why, yes. Great boy.
Chip off the old block.
You're telling me.
He and a bunch of hoodlums practically
attacked a bunch of out stockgirls yesterday.
- He did what?
- You heard me.
Now keep him out of the studio.
They held up production for three hours.
I told my wife she was feeding him
too many vitamins.
You know, I'd like to get even with DeSoto
for firing Pop on my account,
but I don't get through shooting until six,
Can't you get somebody else?
- I got Bing Crosby.
- Who?
Bing, you know, Bing Crosby.
Bing, Bing... Oh, you mean that cheese
salesman around here.
Oh, well, now all you need is a little
air-conditioning and you're on your way.
That's swell.
But just between you and me,
what good is Crosby without Hope?
True, true, true. Did you see that bit
I let him do in My Favorite Blonde?
I like to throw as much work as I can his
way, you know, those kids eat like horses.
- Fan mail!
- Uh-oh, here it is.
Oh, what a career.
I...
But... just...
It's a relative, um...
Gee, Mr. Hope, if you did that much for
Bing, why won't you do the show for Pop?
Oh, I'd really like to help Pop out,
but you know, San Pedro, six o'clock...
...and no rubber, I don't think
I can make it.
- Why not, just go, walk out.
- Can you do that?
Sure, and tell them you're doing
a benefit Mr. DeSoto cooked up.
That would serve him right,
the big bully.
- Okay, I'll be there at six o'clock.
- Oh, gee, thanks, Mr. Hope!
I may be there at five!
Quiet, Whirlaway, quiet!
Oh, I see what you mean.
Quiet, you dog.
Take a note to Mitch Leisen.
Dear Mitch, I ran that test of Veronica
Lake's new hairdo this morning.
and I think covering both eyes
may be overdoing it a bit.
Therefore, I suggest that, um...
What's this?
Bing, Paulette, Dorothy, Veronica.
Dekker, Ladd, Overman?
Where's that gang going?
It's only four-thirty.
Go ahead, Helen, I'll get the scenery
and costume truck started.
They can't be through
this early.
What's going on around here?
Yes, Frank?
What's the idea of sending those people
to a scenery off the lot at 4:30, sir?
We have a shooting schedule
to maintain here.
Now wait a minute, Frank, I didn't
send anyone off the lot.
Now don't try to pass the buck.
They said they've gone to play some
benefit you're responsible for.
Benefit?
I never heard of a benefit.
Frank, I've got enemies
on this lot and...
Well, you're going to have a lot more
if you don't do something about it.
I just can't stand it.
I can't stand it!
Oh, Johnny... Johnny!
- Oh, Dad!
- How are you, Mr. Webster?
You finally got here!
But where are all the stars?
Where are the girls?
But, Johnny, didn't Polly send
you a telegram?
- Attention!
- A telegram? No.
As you were, men.
- Everything ready, Webster?
- Yes, sir.
Captain Kingsley, this is my father, sir.
- Oh, how do you do, sir?
- I remember you, Bronco Billy Webster.
So you're running the studio now, eh?
Well, yes and no.
Johnny, the time has come for me
to make a confession to you.
- Confession?
- Yeah, you know, Polly...
- Anything happen to Polly?
- No, no...
Come, come, Mr. Webster, you two can hash
over your family problems later.
I've got a lot of boys out here
who are very anxious to meet you.
But I think I ought to tell
him now, Captain.
There they are, Mr. Webster.
Now wait a minute, Captain, I think you
and I had better have a little talk first.
You haven't got stage fright, have you?
Go ahead, Dad, go on!
Boys, I want you to meet
the man who's responsible...
...for putting on the show that
we're going to see here tonight.
Seaman Johnny Webster's father.
Bronco Billy Webster.
Boys, this is the unhappiest
moment of my life.
I know you've all come here
expecting to see a big show...
...with a lot of Paramount stars.
Well, it's all a mistake, you're not
going to see them.
Please!
Please let me explain!
Please listen to me!
Would you please listen to me?
I'm awfully sorry that you're not
going to see these stars.
And I want you all to know
that it's all my fault.
Oh, I wish I was dead!
Please... they won't listen to me.
- I want...
- How are you, Pop?
- Well, here you are!
- Hi, Pop!
- This is wonderful!
- Attaboy!
I'm from Paramount Studios.
Has a Mr. Freemont arrived yet?
Not that I know of. The stage entrance is
way around towards the back of the building.
- Shall I send a man around with you?
- No, thanks, I'll find it.
You two wait here for Mr. Freemont.
I'll get to the bottom of this.
Who's running this show?
Pop, look!
- I don't know...
- There must be somebody in charge.
DeSoto!
Who's he?
Johnny, the time has come for me
to make a confession to you.
You said that before, Pop,
what's it all about?
- Well, I am not what...
- Johnny, really, it's nothing!
He's a bigger fish from Paramount and he
just hates your dad because of his success.
And he's probably come
to stop the show.
- Can they do that?
- Oh, definitely.
Here, take that stuff off and get back
to the studio. Tell the others.
Duck, Pop!
Fellas.
How do you do, fellas, this is
Bob "Paramount" Hope...
telling you sailors to use
a certain toothpaste...
...and you'll always have the right
kind of film in your teeth.
Well, we're having a great time here
at the Naval Base tonight.
An ensign has been showing us around.
You know what an ensign is, that's
a second lieutenant who can swim.
And I want to tell you they gave me
a great welcome.
Ten tars met me at the gate.
Ten tars.
After they saw who it was, one of them
ran back for the feathers.
But I've never seen such a bunch
of handsome sailors.
You know they say a sailor has
a sweetheart in every port?
Well, shake hands with a man who's
been living in a lighthouse.
Well, let's get on with the show, hm?
Now I want to introduce three young gals
from the Paramount lot.
You ought to know them pretty well because
two of them have been in pictures with me.
The other one has a smart agent.
# In us you see three very unhappy ladies #
# Of the silver screen #
# Our lives shoud be #
# A wonderful bed of roses #
# But they're just a routine #
# Sleep at ten #
# Wake at dawn #
# Yet our beds put the glamour on #
# In us you see three very unhappy ladies #
# Of the silver screen #
# We came out to make the grade #
# In moving pictures #
# We came out to mingle #
# With the glamour gang #
# But we're sorry that we came #
# For our only claim to fame #
# Is a sweater #
# A sarong #
# And a peek-a-boo bang #
# All the money that we spend #
# To learn dramatics #
# All the vocal exercises that we sang #
# Always go down the drain #
# When they met us at the train #
# With a sweater #
# A sarong #
# And a peek-a-boo bang #
# We played in chases #
# Tender embraces #
# And every sort of scene #
# But the disgrace is, so far our faces #
# Haven't got on the screen #
# You can have your picture taken #
# With a panther #
# Or perhaps adopt a small orangutang #
# Are you ladies telling me #
# I've been living in a tree #
# In sarongs that aren't as long #
# As a peek-a-boo bang #
# All she ever sees #
# Are sweaters on a campus #
# All she ever sees is a jungle in Panang #
# Well, we're luckier than she #
# Both of us at least can see #
# Yes, a sweater must be better #
# Than a peek-a-boo bang #
# Yes, a sweater must be better #
# Than a peek-a-boo bang #
# We were bathing beauties #
# In the time of Sennett #
# When they hit you in the kisser #
# With meringue #
# Throwing pastry is pass? #
# So we earn our role today #
# With a sweater #
# A sarong #
# And a peek-a-boo bang #
# Once we had our wardrobes made #
# By custom tailors #
# But these outfits seem to add #
# A little tang #
# And the public fairly begs #
# For a chance to see our legs #
# In a sweater #
# A sarong #
# And a peek-a-boo bang #
# For the costumes that we wear #
# We take no credit #
# And we'd like to tell you all #
# From whence they sprang #
# Three designres that we know #
# Set the fashion long ago #
# Mussolini #
# Hirohito #
# And the peek-a-boo bang #
And now we're going to some
sketches on prioroties.
You know, right now we have
a few shortages.
It's really serious, for instance, gasoline.
In some parts the country...
...people are leaving the cars in the
garages and taking the streetcars.
Of course the streetcars are now
crowded to a point where it's fun.
And there's also the rubber shortage,
it's very serious.
That is really serious, the rubber shortage.
The other night at my hotel...
...three guys broke into my room
in the middle of the night,
jacked me up, and stole my hot-water
bottle right out from under me.
I was aghast!
I hope you enjoy the sketches.
Baby!
- You again, Murgatroyd.
- Oh, I brought you something, Genevieve.
Oh, go away, shorty, I'm bored with you
and your little trinkets.
Trinkets? A 20-carat diamond ring?
A yacht, a car, a castle on the Hudson?
- You call those trinkets?
- They mean nothing.
I want love, passion, fire!
I want something to bring out
the woman in me.
You don't even bring out the gypsy in me.
Get out of here, you little pipsqueak,
and don't you ever come back.
Well, that's all right,
if that's the way you feel about it.
But I don't know what I'm going to do
with this rubber girdle.
Rubber...
Murgatroyd, why didn't you say so?
See what I mean? That's a pretty tough
situation with those gals.
Losing those girdles, you know,
they go all out for defense.
Boy, I'm glad men don't wear girdles,
that'd be tough.
Now, in this next number,
Alan Ladd does a very interesting little
scene that I think you'll enjoy.
It's sort of a different... type...
I'll be right back, just a second.
- Thought I'd find you here.
- Honest I didn't squeal to the cops.
- Don't give me that.
- Honest I didn't, boss, honest!
You're gonna die like the
yellow rat you are.
No, boss, don't!
You guys have heard about a dream walking?
Well, now you're gonna see one dance.
The number is Black Magic and is sung by
Johnny Johnson and danced by guess who?
Vera Zorina.
Ah, Vera Zorina.
I worked with her.
I also worked with Madeleine Carroll,
Paulette Goddard, Dorothy Lamour.
All of them.
But I have the toughest luck.
You know, all day long I make love
to girls like that...
then at night I go home and dream
about indians.
What's the matter with me?
Well, Black Magic.
Do you think she means that?
Means what?
The Norse, Vera.
Will you let me get some sleep?
She surely must be crazy
about me to say that.
To say what?
- Sincerely.
- Why, you stupid...
# That old black magic #
# Has me in its spell #
# That old black magic #
# That you weave so well #
# Those icy fingers #
# Up and down my spine #
# The same old witchcraft #
# When your eyes meet mine #
# The same old tingle #
# That I feel inside #
# And then that elevator starts its ride #
# And down and down I go #
# Round and round I go #
# Like a leaf that's caught in the tide #
# I should stay away #
# But what can I do #
# I hear your name and I'm aflame #
# A flame with such a burning desire #
# That only your kiss can put out the fire #
# For you're the lover I have waited for #
# The mate that fate had me created for #
# And every time your lips meet mine #
# Darling, down and down I go #
# Round and round I go #
# In a spin #
# Loving the spin I'm in #
# Under that old black magic #
# Called love #
You know, in these war times,
women are taking the place of men
in almost every occupation.
For instance, last night I had a lot
of trouble with a woman taxi driver.
She wanted me to sit in the back.
However, in this next scene,
we're going to show you how men
are replacing women in the home...
...in a little sketch entitled "If men
played cards as women do".
We've got four of our manliest men
to give you a rough idea.
Here we go.
"If men played cards as women do".
- Hello, Joe.
- Hello, John.
Thought I'd drop by early to see
if I could help with the lunch.
Thanks, but everything's ready.
Say, isn't that a new hat
you're wearing?
Why, no, don't you remember,
I got this at Knox's in the spring.
Of course.
Then they started wearing the hat bands
higher and I said to myself...
why should I go out and
get a new hat...
when I can have a little man come in
and put a new hat band on for me...
...just as easily as not.
- Do you like it?
- It's stunning!
- I wonder how it'd look on me.
- Well, try it.
Yes...
No, John, it doesn't seem
to do much for you.
No?
Oh, that must be Frank.
Hold that, will you?
Mark phoned, said he'd be
a little late.
Tell me, how are Frank and Ethel
getting along, any better?
Just between you and me,
not as good.
I'm not surprised, he's beginning
to show his age.
- Hello, Frank.
- Hello boys.
Hello, Frank, I never saw you
look so young.
Oh, thanks.
I just have to sit down some place
before I drop from sheer exhaustion.
My feet are killing me.
Been shopping all day.
Denham's Drugstore had
the most wonderful sale.
I got a dozen sparklets
for practically nothing.
Really, I must get down there.
Oh, darn! Look!
That's the second pair this week.
Isn't that terrible?
You ought to try those new plastic socks,
I hear they're absolutely marvelous.
I'll be glad when summer comes
and I can go without socks.
Hello! Oh, everybody's here.
I'm sorry I'm late, I was breaking in
a new secretary, you know what that means.
Oh, that's all right.
Say, what have you done to your hair?
- Huh?
- Yeah, don't tell us you've had it cut again.
You're parting it higher, aren't you?
Well, I finally made up my mind, I just
couldn't stand it the other way any longer.
- What do you think?
- Oh, lovely.
- Hm?
- Hm-hmm.
- What do you think, Frank?
- Well, it, um...
It does make your face look thinner.
Down at the barbershop they tried
to talk me into letting Paul cut it,
but I insisted on Sam. Paul's alright for
shaves, but for haircuts, Sam's the best.
- Don't you think so, Frank?
- Hm... Oh, new suit, isn't it?
- Yeah.
- Very smart, where did you get it?
I got it made right in the office. Got a
little tailor comes in four hours a day.
Oh, nice, nice...
A little snug around the hips, though, isn't it?
All the new clothes are like that!
Well, what shall we play, gin rummy?
Oh, no, let's just play something
where we don't have to think, hm?
- Yeah, yeah, how about poker?
- Fine, fine with me.
Oh, John, could I have
a glass of water?
Why, sure.
Can you imagine that maid
not setting out the water.
Oh, I'll get it if you tell me
where it is.
That's all right, you just have to watch
over them every minute.
I wanted to get that water myself,
I'm just dying to see his kitchen.
If it's anything like his bathroom,
it's a mess.
Don't you think John's looking
perfectly awful lately?
Oh, that wife of his, she's so active.
She'd wear anyone down to a nub.
- He's still seeing that Fleming woman.
- No!
Yes, she's in his office nearly every day.
- I can't believe it.
- Who told you?
Well, my office is in the same building,
I got it straight from the
window washer.
- Here you are, Joe.
- Thanks, John.
- Is it cold enough?
- Yes.
Of course I always put a little
ice in it myself.
Now, are the red chips worth
more than the blue chips?
I don't know. Let's make them all
worth the same thing.
- Alright, a quarter of a cent apiece.
- But let's just pretend they're dollars.
- Yeah, that makes it more exciting.
- Yeah.
Hm, pinochle deck, do you play
poker with this?
Of course, we all use pinochle cards,
we get better hands that way.
Oh!
Well how many cards do I deal?
- Five, I think.
- Well, sometimes seven.
Well, there's a nine card game, too.
Yeah, but they call that game baseball,
don't they?
Oh, I think we'd better start out
with five, hm?
Sure, we can play baseball later.
One, two, three, four, five...
One, two, three, four, five...
Did you hear Hal Wilson's going
to have another baby?
Another one?
Oh, I never thought he'd go
through that again...
...after the way he suffered with
the last one.
- He was in pretty bad shape.
- Women think they have trouble.
Oh, Mark, which are highest,
aces or kings?
I think it depends on whether
they're wild or not.
- Oh.
- John, are these funny little things clubs?
No, those are spades.
These are clubs.
Oh, the ones that look like a clover,
I keep forgetting, thanks.
Well, I'm gonna bet four dollars.
- Don't forget they're a quarter of a cent.
- I'm not.
I put in four. I watch you.
- Put in something.
- Oh, I put in two.
Oh, I don't like mine.
Hey, why don't you boys take off your hats?
Make yourselves comfortable.
Oh, thanks.
Do you mind if I take off my belt,
it's choking me to death.
Oh, go right ahead.
Getting a little ballsy there,
aren't you, Mark?
Hm? Oh, yeah, every time my wife
peels a potato, I gain five pounds.
Mark's just like me. I take it off here
and put it on here.
Ahhh!
A mouse!
Somebody get a broom!
Shhh!
- I'm from Par...
- Shhh!
...amount studio.
- I tell you this show can't go on!
- Shh.
I'm here to stop this show...
Shhh.
Say, fellows, I don't know whether
the next number's gonna be on time.
I just saw Rochester backstage.
He wears a zoot suit in the number and they
still have to cut the armholes in his pants.
I hope he makes it.
- Woodrow, we will pause here.
- Yes, sir.
# Hey, look, there's Aurora Borealis #
# Boy must live in Buckingham Palace #
# All resplendent in solid and gold #
# That cat is a solid joy to behold #
# Company, zoot! #
# I'm out, Sunday school #
# Company, zoot! #
# Dig this suit with the belt and boots #
# What'll they say #
# When they see me coming their way #
# Tut-tut-tut-tut, you're sharp as a tack #
# With a belt in the back #
# Boy, trimmed to the brinks #
# Most likely killing the chicks #
# Tut-tut-tut-tut, I'm as sweet as a bean #
# With a pleat in the seam #
# Paying no mind to the conversation #
# With my nose in the air #
# Nevertheless, I swear they holler #
# You ain't only classy #
# You're abandoned, you're sassy #
# What do they shout #
# When they see me cutting on out #
# Tut-tut-tut-tut, hurry on #
# There goes Poppa, you're sharp as a tack #
# With a belt in your back #
- You ain't only fancy #
# You are highly classy #
# With a belt in her back #
# Take me! #
# What'll they yell #
# When they see me waving farewell #
# Tut-tut-tut-tut, hurry on #
# In that uniform, sharp as a tack #
# With a belt in the back #
# With a belt in the back #
Isn't that a wonderful number?
Gee, I envy that Jack Benny.
He gets all of Rochester's old clothes.
Get that, Collona's.
Oh, Polly... look who's here now.
Freemont!
Good grief, we can't clunk him.
Can we?
No.
- You wait here, Pop.
- What's going on?
Hope's.
Had a new seat put in.
You know, Hope, Robert Hope,
the straight man on my radio show?
In this new scene, he plays
a new and difficult role.
Comedian.
It's a very touching little drama entitled,
"Wife, Husband, and Wolf".
I guess you know who plays the wolf.
Sounds repulsive, doesn't it?
And it is.
But don't walk out. Immediately following,
Bing Crosby's going to sing.
Which reminds me, I have a request.
My agent asked me to sing.
And why not?
Air raid!
Air raid alert!
Air raid alert!
Air raid alert!
# Oh, thanks for the memory #
# Oh thank you... #
Hello?
Oh, Madeleine.
Oh... Oh, no, I can't, Madeleine,
not tonight.
No, not tonight, I'm sorry,
Hedy asked me first.
Tomorrow night? Oh, no, that's
Ann Sheridan's night, you know.
That's fate. Yes... Better luck
next time Madeleine, just...
Well, I can dream, can't I?
- Alert! Alert!
- Huh?
I'm sorry, Mr. Hope, there's gonna be
an air raid at any moment...
and as air raid warden, I...
My what a lovely fleet.
Oh, yes, I've got the whole works,
cruisers, destroyers, aircraft carriers,
mine sweepers... Oh, oh...
Submarine even.
It got me too, I...
My goodness, that's it!
Air raid! Air raid!
Come, hurry!
Well, I can't go like this, I've gotta slip
on a few more suds or something, anyway, I...
- Here you are, slip in these, hurry!
Okay.
- Oh!
- Well, you never know who's gonna drop in.
I borrowed these from Crosby.
Hurry, Mr. Hope.
Please, there's no time to lose.
It's a little drafty, I might catch my...
Well, it's getting warmer, how do you do?
Hey, that's my racket!
- Please, Mr. Hope, this way.
- What about the girls?
- Oh, follow the girls.
- Do you think we've got time?
Listen, we've got to be in the shelter
before the lights go out.
Yeah... a-a-atchoo!
Goodness, now you'de better get back
in your tub before you get pneumonia.
What do you mean before? I can't see
a thing here, where are we?
Here, here, follow me because I can find
my way in the dark perfectly.
- Oh, you can, huh?
- Oh, yes.
The way I get around in the dark,
people call me a panther.
The way I get around in the dark
people call me a wolf. Where are you?
- Here we are, 626.
- Are you certain?
- Thank you very much, panther.
- You're welcome, wolf.
Okay, uh-huh.
I must have left the water out.
Don't kid me, Gladys.
I know you got a man up here and
if I find the rat, I'll blow his brains out.
Oh, those noisy neighbors.
You know there's no one here,
you big loon.
- You've looked all over the apartment.
- I haven't looked in the bathroom.
You know perfectly well
there's no one in the bathroom.
I don't like the way you say that.
That's just the place I'm gonna look.
Well, go ahead, look then.
Hm, guess I was wrong.
Look, Herman, you're all excited.
It's all in your mind.
Why don't you take a nice cool bath?
Well... okay.
Maybe we can still catch that
Bob Hope picture.
Well, you'll have to hurry.
Show starts at 9 o'clock.
Nine o'clock?
I haven't got time to take a bath.
I'll take a shower.
Could I interest you in a Fuller brush?
No, huh?
Come on there, you rat!
Stop, you're making a terrible mistake.
- This man is innocent.
- You keep your nose out of this.
I saw it. He got in here by mistake.
That's Bob Hope.
Don't you understand, Herman?
Bob Hope!
- Hope?
- Yes.
Hope? Oh, Mr. Hope, I didn't
recognize you.
Can you ever forgive me?
It is not for me to forgive you, but this
little flower you have wronged.
- She is innocent.
- I didn't realize.
Of course you didn't realize.
You didn't realize because
you don't know women.
But if there's one thing Bob knows,
it's women.
Goodbye, and remember that little wife
of yours is as honest as the day is long.
Short day, wasn't it?
This young lady has told me
the whole story.
Be in my office tomorrow morning.
I've got new jobs for both of you.
The chaplain just arrived ready
and willing, when do we get married?
Why, after this Bing Crosby number.
If nothing else happens.
# From a forest clearing #
# In the North Maine woods #
# Or a wagon crossing in Ohio #
# There started a song #
# Someone added a note #
# Someone added a word #
# And soon the wide world heard #
# Old Glory #
# Old Glory #
# Our dreams are renewed #
# Tall timber #
# Blue prairies #
# They're part of you too #
# Love made you #
# Tears kept you #
# Brave hearts that are gone #
# We hailed them #
# And we won't fail them #
# Old Glory fly on #
# Old Glory #
# Old Glory #
I pledge allegiance to the flag.
To the republic for which it stands.
We used to say that when
we were kids.
That and a lot of other things
we didn't understand.
We didn't know what they meant then.
None of this crowd do.
Yeah, what do they mean now, buddy?
What do they mean now?
Oh, everybody knows that, mister.
Here's a man from New Hampshire,
let's ask him.
No need to ask me, son.
It means getting up early in the cold,
lighting lanterns, milking.
Cutting notches in maple trees
for syrup.
Going to school and reading about
Washington and the Red Coats.
Following rabbit tracks in the snow.
An attic room where the wind
comes whistling through.
It means that, son, and a lot more.
Go on, you can't fool me
with that flag-waving.
How about that, Georgia boy,
the man says I'm flag-waving.
- Does that mean anything to you?
- Sure does, big boy.
Specially them thirteen stripes.
One of them stands for Georgia,
and like the man says,
- A lot more.
- Such as?
Such as red-clay hills. Folks say
Confederate blood stained them.
And marsh grass, big old trees
with moss on them.
Watermelons in the hot sun.
Spiritual singing in the evening.
# Sometimes I feel #
# Like a motherless child #
# Sometimes I feel #
# Like a motherless child #
That's it.
- - -
- - -
That's right, that's it too.
Oglethorpe, and Bobby Jones,
and Ty Garbin.
Come in and stay awhile,
we're delighted to have you.
Anybody can dramatize things.
- Anybody wanna talk to this fella?
- Yeah.
Ever been to Brooklyn, Mac?
Ever see steam coming up out
of the sidewalk?
Or get packed like a herring
in a Flatbush Express?
Or go to Coney on a Sunday,
or throw a pop bottle at an umpire?
Ah, get out of there, you bum!
Did you ever see the Empire State Building?
It's higher than some towns are wide.
Do you know any other country where a
Brooklyn girl can get to be a movie star?
Star! There it is!
Top right-hand corner.
Brooklyn.
What do you say now, mister?
- Well...
- Are you convinced?
- Well...
- Well, there's lots more.
There's longhorns from Texas,
and apples from Oregon.
And mountains, and rivers,
and buckboards and flivvers,
minutemen, trappers, jitterbugs, flappers.
# And all somebodies #
# In General Lee's Force #
# And Vanderbilt, and Carnegie #
# And Edison and Ford. #
And how about Washington,
I mean all three.
George and Martha, and Booker T.?
Will Rogers, Nathan Hale.
Union Pacific, Oregon Trail.
Hi, Captain, howdy, Doc.
Didn't we meet at Plymouth Rock?
America. The cornucopia.
Buddy, this is the way to Utopia.
This is your future, yours and mine.
There aren't any Germans,
Italians or Japs...
...gonna push us off our hard-won,
homemade, Rand McNally maps.
# Old Glory #
# Old Glory #
# Our dreams are renewed #
All hands report to their ships!
- I'm on my way, Dad.
- Goodbye, Johnny.
- Dad.
- Take care of yourself.
I will.
- Bye, Polly.
- Bye!
Hey!
- Great show, Johnny, great, great.
- Darling, darling!
- Haven't you forgotten something?
- What?
You forgot to marry me.
Oh... well, this will hold it for the time
being and so will this.
# We hailed them #
# And we won't fail them #
# Old Glory fly on #
- Subtitles -
Lu?s Filipe Bernardes