Star Maps (1997) - full transcript

Carlos wants to be an actor. But his father, Pepe, wants him to work in the family business, that is, male prostitution. Carlos decides that he will be one of his father's boys until he can get his foot in the door in Hollywood. Finally one of his clients, a rich soap star, offers him a bit part in her show. Pepe tell Carlos that she is just using him and demands that he not see the women any longer. Carlos defies his father and when his big day comes he is finds out the harsh realities of life are even harsher than he imagined.

[DRUMROLL]

[FANFARE MUSIC]

[FANFARE MUSIC ENDS]

[FIDDLE MUSIC PLAYS]

Man: ¡MIRA! ¡CARLOS AMADO!

CARLOS AMADO?

POR FAVOR,
DEME UN AUTOGRAFO.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

THAT'S CARLOS AMADO.

[PEOPLE SPEAKING SPANISH]

CARLOS AMADO.



[MAN SINGING IN SPANISH]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

HEY.

Woman: CARLOS, I'VE BEEN
PUTTING MONEY AWAY,

AND I'M GOING TO GET US
AWAY FROM PEPE.

PLEASE DON'T
WORK FOR HIM AGAIN.

I'M TELLING YOU, MARI,
DON'T WORRY.

HE'S GOING TO TAKE
ADVANTAGE OF YOU.

Carlos: MARIA,
I'M GOING TO MAKE IT

AND TAKE CARE OF US.

LOOK.

I CAN'T EXPLAIN
WHAT IT WAS LIKE



TO BE IN FRONT
OF AN AUDIENCE.

THIS IS
WHAT I WANT TO DO.

THEN DO IT,
BUT NOT WITH PEPE.

PEPE'S WELL-CONNECTED.

I'VE SEEN HIM
WITH IMPORTANT PEOPLE.

AFTER EVERYTHING MOMMY
WENT THROUGH

TO GET YOU
AWAY FROM HIM?

IT DIDN'T KILL PEPE
WHEN HE DID IT,

AND IT'S NOT GOING
TO KILL ME.

I'M NOT GOING TO LET IT
GET TO ME.

HEY, THEY'RE PRETTY.

Maria:
GET UP AND SAY HI.

HOLA.

HELLO.

Maria: COME SAY HELLO
TO MOMMY.

[CRIES]

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

SERVE YOURSELF
THE WHOLE POT.

GO AHEAD, IF YOU THINK
IT'S SO FUNNY.

HEY.

LOOK WHO'S HERE.

WELCOME HOME,
HOMBRE.

YOU LOOK GOOD.

ARE YOU EATING HERE?

HOW'S THE GRUB, PIG,
HUH?

[PEPE LAUGHS]

NAH. I GOT TO GO
BACK TO WORK.

FIRST, I GOT TO TALK
TO MY SON.

WHAT'S THIS ABOUT YOU
WANTING TO BE AN ACTOR?

I'LL WORK HARD.

YOU, AN ACTOR?

WHO THE HELL DO YOU
THINK YOU ARE, KID?

I'M SORRY.

I CAN'T HELP YOU,
ALL RIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW SHIT
ABOUT ACTING.

YOU KNOW PEOPLE IN
THE BUSINESS THROUGH WORK.

THESE PEOPLE ARE
MY BUSINESS ASSOCIATES.

I CAN'T BE
RUNNING AROUND

ASKING THEM
FOR FAVORS.

BESIDES,

YOU HAVE TO HAVE TALENT
TO BE AN ACTOR.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
YOU HAVE THAT?

LOOK...

I'M ASKING FOR YOUR HELP.

ALL RIGHT.

I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.

YOU WORK FOR ME
FOR A WHILE,

AND LATER ON, IF
EVERYTHING IS GOING OK,

I'LL INTRODUCE YOU
TO A COUPLE OF PEOPLE.

ALL RIGHT?

PROMISE?

YOU HAVE MY WORD.

JUANCITO, PEPE, DINNER.

THANK YOU.

WHERE'S MOMMY?

I DON'T KNOW.
SHE WAS RIGHT THERE.

JUANCITO, CARLOS,
GO LOOK OUTSIDE.

¡CHIN!

[DOG BARKS]

COME ON.

PLEASE.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

I'M SORRY.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

YOU SEE? THIS IS WHAT
I'M TELLING YOU GUYS.

YOU ACTUALLY GOT
GOOD CHOLESTEROL,

AND YOU GOT
BAD CHOLESTEROL.

NOW, THOSE FRENCH FRIES
YOU EAT ALL THE TIME,

THAT'S BAD CHOLESTEROL.

HEY, HEY, HEY.
HOT DOGS HAVE CHOLESTEROL?

NO, THAT'S
BAD CHOLESTEROL.

HOW ABOUT DOUGHNUTS?

NAH, THAT'S
BAD CHOLESTEROL.

YOU CAN'T EAT THAT.

PIZZA?

PIZZA?
WAKE UP.

CHEESEBURGER?
SPAGHETTI?

NO, THAT'S BAD.
THAT'S NOT GOOD.

THAT'S RIGHT.

TU MADRE--

DOES SHE HAVE CHOLESTEROL,
OR IS SHE GOOD TO EAT?

Pepe: WHAT ARE YOU,
A FUCKING IDIOT?

[MAN SINGING IN SPANISH]

[MAN SINGING IN SPANISH]

CARLOS.

COME HERE.

SOMEBODY'S GOING TO COME
BY HERE IN A LITTLE WHILE

AND SHOW YOU
WHAT TO DO, OK?

FOR RIGHT NOW, YOU JUST
STAND HERE AND LOOK PRETTY.

ALL RIGHT?

[MAN AND WOMAN
PANTING AND MOANING]

[LAUGHS]

YOU OK?

YES.

MMM...

LETTI, I NEED YOU
TO DO ME A FAVOR, OK?

I NEED YOU TO SHOW
CARLOS THE ROPES, OK?

SHOW HIM HOW THINGS
ARE DONE, OK?

NOW, WHY SHOULD I
DO THAT FOR YOU?

MY WIFE IS DYING.

THAT MEANS WE CAN
GET MARRIED SOON, EH?

SHE IS GETTING WEAK.

HOW MUCH LONGER?

SHE CAN HARDLY
SIT UP ANYMORE.

I GOT TO GO
TO THE LOUNGE, BABY.

IT'S GETTING LATE.

TAKE ME INSIDE FOR A DRINK.

LETTI, PLEASE,
DON'T START WITH ME, OK?

IT'S BUSINESS IN THERE.

I CAN'T TAKE YOU
IN THERE WITH ME.

PLEASE?

NO!

YOU'RE EMBARRASSED.

NO, BABY,
THAT'S NOT IT.

COME ON.

TOMORROW NIGHT,
I TAKE YOU OUT,

AND WE HAVE
A NICE TIME, HUH?

OK?

IF YOU LOVED ME, YOU'D
TAKE ME AND BE PROUD OF ME.

I'M PROUD OF YOU,
I'M PROUD OF YOU.

¡HIJO DE PUTA!

GUYS, WHAT'S UP?

HEY, PEPE.

HEY, HANDSOME,
HOW YOU DOING?

HOWDY-DO.

MR. RIVERS, I'D LIKE YOU
TO MEET THE FRIEND

I TOLD YOU ABOUT.

I'M SORRY
YOU HAD TO WAIT.

HEY, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

MR. RIVERS,
THIS IS PEPE.

PEPE, THIS IS
MR. RIVERS.

HE'S LOOKING FOR
A GUIDE TO SHOW HIM

SOME OF THE MORE INTIMATE
PARTS OF HOLLYWOOD.

HOW YOU DO?

OK.
HOW YOU DOING?

LUIS IS
AN EXCELLENT GUIDE.

Pepe:
YOU CAN FIND HIM...

RIGHT HERE
AT THIS CORNER.

HE HAS A FEW HOURS
AVAILABLE,

AND HE WILL SHOW YOU
ANYTHING YOU LIKE.

AND THIS IS FOR YOU.

THANKS.

ENJOY IT, HUH?

THANK YOU.

WAIT. WHAT'S THIS?

YOU'RE LATE.
I'M DOCKING YOU.

WAIT A MINUTE, OK?

I'M NOT HERE

JUST BECAUSE
I'M FUCKING AROUND.

YOU'RE COCKY.
I DON'T LIKE COCKY ANYMORE.

I DON'T NEED COCKY,
PEPE.

LOOK. I WAS BREAKING IN
A NEW KID, OK?

NOW, THAT'S GOOD NEWS
FOR BOTH OF US.

I GOT A DOZEN OTHER GUYS
I CAN CALL.

DON'T BE LATE NO MORE.

I GET TESTY.

REMEMBER THAT.

[TAKES MONEY]
FINE.

UHH!

HI, FRED.

OH, HI, MARIA.

OH, I'VE GOT
YOUR PRESCRIPTION

ALL READY FOR YOU.

THANKS.

UM, HOW'S
YOUR MOTHER DOING?

THE DOCTOR SAYS
SHE'S DOING BETTER.

I'M REALLY
PROUD OF HER.

OH, THAT'S--
THAT'S GREAT.

THAT'S GREAT.

I'M REALLY
HAPPY FOR YOU.

UH, LET'S SEE.

ESTOY, UH...

ESTOY
MUY CONTENTO.

CONTENTO.

MM-HMM.
ASI PERFECTO.

THERE YOU GO.

THANKS.

MARIA?

I WAS WONDERING
IF MAYBE

YOU'D WANT TO GO SEE
A MOVIE WITH ME SOMETIME,

IF YOU HAVE THE TIME.

SURE.

GOOD.

I'LL--I'LL CALL YOU.

YOU'RE CARLOS, RIGHT?

YES.

I'M LETTI,
PEPE'S GIRLFRIEND.

EXCUSE ME, MA'AM,
WE WERE HERE FIRST.

IF YOU WANT TO BUY
THE FUCKING MAP,

THEN BUY IT.

OH, DEAR.

UH...

OK.

THANK YOU.

COME ON.

I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU
AN INTRODUCTORY CLASS.

INTRODUCTORY CLASS?

YOU SAID THAT, UH...

YOU WERE
PEPE'S GIRLFRIEND.

IS THAT WHAT HE CALLS YOU?

GIRLFRIEND?

CARLOS, YOU MIGHT
AS WELL KNOW NOW.

PEPE LOVES ME.

YOU'LL BE SEEING
A LOT OF ME.

OH, I'M SURE
HE LOVES YOU.

I'M SURE HE LOVES YOU
A WHOLE LOT.

ALL RIGHT, SMART ASS.

JUST SHUT UP.

SIT DOWN AND LISTEN.

I'M LISTENING.

SIT DOWN.

FIRST OF ALL,
LISTEN TO THE CUSTOMER

SO YOU CAN FIGURE OUT
HOW THEY WANT YOU TO ACT.

SOME PEOPLE WILL WANT YOU

TO BE VERY DIFFERENT
THAN OTHERS.

LISTEN...

I'M AN ACTOR.

I KNOW HOW
TO PUT ON A SHOW.

I PROMISE YOU

THE CUSTOMERS
ARE GOING TO BE HAPPY.

CAN WE GO NOW?

WE'RE NOT
TALKING ABOUT

SOME DUMB TRICK
FROM EL BARRIO.

THESE ARE
REAL CUSTOMERS,

AND PEPE WANTS ME
TO MAKE SURE

THAT YOU ARE NOT
GOING TO FUCK UP.

SO SHUT THE FUCK UP
AND PAY ATTENTION.

BEEN WITH WOMEN?

YES.

BEEN WITH MEN?

YES.

AMERICAN MEN?

YES.

GOOD.

NOW, LET'S
TRY SOMETHING.

I'M GOING TO ACT
LIKE AN OLD GUY,

AND YOU PLAY ALONG.

AHEM.

HEY, CARLOS, UH...

MY NAME IS, UH, BRETT.

UH, I'M--I'M A LITTLE
NERVOUS ABOUT THIS.

I'VE NEVER
DONE THIS BEFORE,

AND I'M OLDER.

OH, MY BACK.

UM...

MMM...

BRETT...

YOU'RE SOME
HOT HUNK.

OH, THANK YOU.

OH, YEAH.

UH, MAYBE I WOULD, UM,
FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE

IF YOU HELPED ME,
UM, YOU KNOW,

TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF.

OHH.

AH, THESE OLD BONES.

HEH HEH.

OOH.

[SNIFFS]

OOH...

YOU ARE HOT,
BRETT.

THANK YOU.

OH! GO--SLOW DOWN!
OH, YEAH.

YOU'RE SCARING ME.

IF YOU'RE SCARED NOW,

WAIT TILL YOU SEE
MY CRAZY MEAT.

I'LL FUCK YOU HARD, BABY.

UHH!

STOP IT!

STOP IT.
JESUS CHRIST.

YOU'RE
A TERRIBLE ACTOR.

WHY DO YOU GOT
TO SAY THAT?

I TELL YOU THAT
I'M OLD AND NERVOUS.

I ACT OLD AND NERVOUS,
AND YOU JUMP MY BONES.

I WAS SEXY, WASN'T I?

YOU GOT TO BE SEXY
WITH ME.

LISTEN TO THE CUSTOMER.

THAT'S HALF THE BATTLE.

FUCK THIS GAME.

WITH A REAL CUSTOMER,
I KNOW WHAT TO DO.

WHO DO YOU
WANT ME TO BE?

NOBODY.

[TECHNO MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[MOTHER HUMMING]

Man: TERESA.

OYE, TERESA.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

HI, ARE YOU CARLOS?

YEAH.

I'M JENNIFER.

PEPE SENT ME.

I GUESS YOU'VE NEVER
SEEN ME BEFORE, HUH?

NO.

WE'LL GO BACK
TO MY HOUSE NOW,

IF YOU DON'T MIND.

THAT'S FINE.

OK.

COME, COME.

HI, SWEETIE.

OH, CARLOS, THIS
IS MY SON ALEX.

HELLO.

HI.

Jennifer: LAURIE,
THIS IS CARLOS.

HE'S GOING TO FINISH
SOME OF THE YARD WORK

LUIS WAS DOING LAST WEEK.

AND I NEED TO DO
SOME WORK,

SO WHY DON'T
YOU AND ALEX

GO TO THE PARK
AND GET SOME ICE CREAM?

SURE.

WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE,
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU

ABOUT SOME
DENTAL BENEFITS.

UM, I NEED TO GET
A BRIDGE.

OK.

LATER, LAURIE.

GREAT.

YOU'RE AN ACTRESS.

BINGO.

ARE YOU AN ACTOR,
CARLOS?

I'M GOING TO BE.

WELL, GOOD FOR YOU.

WHO DO YOU
WANT ME TO BE?

YOU SHOULD
JUST BE YOURSELF.

HOW DO YOU MEAN, MYSELF?

UM...

I JUST WANT
A POOR MEXICAN BOY

TO FUCK
MY BRAINS OUT.

OK?

OH.

OK.

WHEN I WAS STARVING
IN MEXICO,

AND HOT GRINGAS
LIKE YOU COME THERE,

I GET SO HOT FOR
THEIR CHILE RELLENOS.

MY MACHETE
IS SO HOT FOR YOU.

OHH!

CRAZY LOVE,
I'VE GOT YOU!

[APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I LOVE YOU.

YES!

I GOT IT!

WAS IT OK?

YES.

GOSH, YOU WERE
WONDERFUL.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

REALLY?

MM-HMM.

WHAT'S IT LIKE
TO BE FAMOUS?

MMM, WHEN
IT COMES DOWN TO IT,

IT'S REALLY NOT
ALL THAT IMPORTANT.

IT MUST BE GREAT TO BE LOVED
BY SO MANY PEOPLE--

MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH, CRY.

YOU REALLY WANT
TO ACT?

I'M GOING TO.

SURE.

WHY NOT?

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

HI, HONEY.

JENNIFER.

HOW YOU DOING?

FINE.

LISTEN,
I JUST MET THIS KID,

AND I WAS WONDERING
IF WE MIGHT NEED

SOME BACKGROUND
CHARACTERS

ON THE SHOW
NEXT WEEK.

HE'S MEXICAN.

MEXICAN?

REALLY?
WHERE'D YOU MEET HIM?

WHERE?

OH. I--UH, WHILE I WAS

DROPPING OFF SOME STUFF
AT THE FOOD BANK.

WELL, I GUESS WE CAN
WORK HIM IN SOMEHOW.

GREAT.

OK.

BYE.

[SIGHS]

I'M GOING TO BE
IN YOUR SHOW?

NEXT WEEK, AS AN EXTRA.

IF IT WORKS OUT,

YOU MIGHT WORK
ONCE IN A WHILE, AND...

WOW.

HEY, DON'T GET
SO EXCITED.

IT'S JUST EXTRA WORK.

I'M HAPPY.
THIS--

YOU'RE SO NICE.

VERY, VERY NICE.

[LAUGHS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

HI.

HELLO.

YOU LOOK...

YOU LOOK NICE.

THANKS.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

I'D LET YOU IN,

BUT MY HOUSE IS
A BIT MESSY RIGHT NOW.

OH, NO,
THERE'S NO HURRY.

OK.

[SLAP]

YOU'D BETTER TAKE CARE
OF MOMMY WHILE I'M GONE.

YOU BETTER NOT FALL ASLEEP
BEFORE I GET HOME.

HI.
HI.

EVERYTHING OK?

YEAH.

READY TO GO?
ALL RIGHT.

OH, AND I ALSO LIKED
THE GUY--

THE GUY WITH
THE ANTENNAS AND--

EL CHAPULIN COLORADO.

THAT'S IT.

UM...

NO CANTABAN CON MI ASTUCIA.

I DIDN'T THINK
YOU'D BE THIS FUNNY.

WELL, THANK YOU.

DON'T TOUCH
THE FOOD, OK?

YOU AND ME ARE GOING
TO EAT AT HOME.

THAT'S FOR THE BOYS.

YOU WERE LATE
FOR YOUR SECOND DATE.

IN FACT,
YOU DIDN'T EVEN SHOW UP.

WELL, I WAS
WITH JENNIFER,

AND SHE TOOK
A LONG TIME.

DID YOU BOTHER HER?

WHAT?

DID YOU BOTHER HER
WITH YOUR ACTING CRAP?

NO, I DIDN'T BOTHER HER.

SHE TOLD ME
THAT YOU BEGGED HER

TO BE AN EXTRA
ON HER SHOW.

NO, I DIDN'T--

DON'T FUCK WITH ME!

YOU ARE SUPPOSED
TO GO OUT AND DO THE JOB

AND GET BACK
TO YOUR CORNER,

AND THAT'S IT.

IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT WON'T HAPPEN.

BECAUSE FROM NOW ON,
I'M GOING TO SEND

THE GUYS OUT
WITH JENNIFER.

IF YOU WANT
TO WORK FOR ME,

YOU DO WHAT I SAY.

AND BELIEVE ME,

YOU WILL MEET
10 TIMES MORE PEOPLE

THAN YOU WILL
WITH JENNIFER.

AND IF YOU DON'T,

THEN I WILL SHIP
YOUR SKINNY ASS

BACK TO MEXICO.

YOU GOT THAT,
MR. HASSELHOFF?

I THOUGHT YOU RESPECTED ME.

Man: I DO.
I JUST CAN'T MARRY YOU.

IS THAT HOW MUCH
MY LOVE IS WORTH TO YOU?

YOU'RE GOING TO BE
ON CARMEL COUNTY?

SHE SAID I'D BE AN EXTRA.

I DON'T KNOW. DO YOU
THINK SHE WAS SERIOUS?

I THINK SO.
SHE SAID IT.

I HOPE IT'S TRUE.

WHY DON'T YOU QUIT
WITH PEPE NOW?

PEPE WOULD RUIN THINGS
FOR ME SOMEHOW.

I KNOW HE WOULD.

I JUST GOT TO KEEP HIM
OUT OF IT

UNTIL I DO THE SHOW.

YOU'RE CRAZY.

SO, TELL ME
ABOUT THIS GUY.

WHAT'S HE LIKE?

WELL...

HE'S NICE.

HE'S UGLY, HUH?

NO, HE'S NOT.
SHUT UP.

YOU LIKE HIM, DON'T YOU?

I GUESS SO,

BUT I'D BE STUPID
TO THINK

THAT I COULD
GET INVOLVED

WITH ANYONE
RIGHT NOW.

YOU CAN SEE HIM.

I SHOULD WAIT.

[TELEVISION ON]

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

[LAUGHS]

HEY!

HOW MANY TIMES HAS MAMITA
TOLD YOU NOT TO SIT ON HER?

OHH!

[LAUGHS]

YOU ARE A BAD, BAD BOY.

YOU ARE GOING TO GROW UP
TO BE A BIG, DUMB MAN.

YEAH, BUT A HORNY ONE.

MMM...

OHH...

PEPE...

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT
CARLOS WORKING FOR YOU?

I DIDN'T ASK HIM
TO COME BACK.

I KNOW, BUT...

MAYBE LATER ON,
YOU MIGHT REGRET IT.

HE'S A SMART KID, AND...

WHAT'S WRONG WITH
HIS LIFE NOW, LETTI?

I TAKE CARE OF HIM

LIKE I TAKE CARE OF
THE REST OF MY FAMILY,

INCLUDING YOU.

SO WHY CAN'T HE
BE HAPPY WITH THAT?

I WAS 4 YEARS
YOUNGER THAN HIM

WHEN MY FATHER PUT ME
ON THE STREETS OF NEW YORK.

I'M NOT EXACTLY THE POPE,
BUT I THINK I'M DOING FINE.

I KNOW.

LOOK. HE'S GOT
SOME SILLY IDEAS

ABOUT BECOMING
A MOVIE STAR.

HE'S JUST COCKY.
THAT'S HIS WAY.

DON'T WORRY.

HI, SILLY.

HI.

ARE YOU AFRAID OF ME?

WHY SHOULD I BE AFRAID?

I DON'T KNOW.

I TALKED TO PEPE
YESTERDAY,

AND HE SAID I CAN'T
SEE YOU ANYMORE.

YEAH?

THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU GOT SCARED.

NO.

PEPE DOESN'T WANT ME
TO BOTHER YOU.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST
COME WITH ME NOW?

I'LL EXPLAIN TO PEPE

YOU'RE NOT
BOTHERING ME AT ALL.

I HAVE TO DO THIS.

BUT ANY TIME
I'M NOT WORKING,

I MEAN, I'LL TAKE
THE BUS ANYWHERE,

MEET YOU
ANYWHERE YOU WANT.

I'LL PICK YOU UP
TONIGHT,

EVEN THOUGH I THINK
YOU SHOULD DROP

ANY OTHER COMMITMENTS.

I'M A PRIZE, KID.

[WOMAN SINGING IN SPANISH]

[MAN TAKES PICTURES]

[TAKES PICTURE]

COME GET IT, ROMEO.

HERE COMES PEPE.

CALL STEWART.

HEY, HEY, GENTLEMEN.

HEY. HEY.

HEY!

WHAT'S GOING ON,
DONALD?

I'M SORRY, PEPE.

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED
IN HERE NO MORE.

SAYS WHO?

STEWART.

HE SAYS YOU SHOULD
WAIT OUT HERE,

AND HE'LL COME OUT
TO TALK TO YOU.

YOU'RE KIDDING ME,
RIGHT?

COME ON, I GOT
BUSINESS IN THERE.

WHERE IS THAT
FUCKING ASSHOLE?

YOU'RE NOT COMING
IN HERE, PEPE!

HEY! DON'T LET
THAT WETBACK EYESORE

COME IN HERE.

WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE.

WHAT CRAWLED UP YOUR ASS
AND DIED?

YOU'RE LATE AGAIN.

15 MINUTES. COME ON,
GIVE ME A BREAK.

YOU WANT A BREAK?

FROM NOW ON,
YOU WORK OUT HERE.

YOU WANT ME
TO HANG OUT HERE

AND WAIT TILL YOU
THROW ME A BONE?

YEAH.

HEY, MAN, YOU LOOKING
FOR A GUIDE?

WHAT DO YOU GOT?

NEVER MIND.
GET LOST, HUH?

WELL, GOOD MORNING
TO YOU,

YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.

Man: I THINK I WANT
TO TRY SOMETHING NEW.

YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M THINKING OF DOING?

PRODUCING A DOCUMENTARY.

GREAT.

WHEN ARE YOU QUITTING?

YOU KNOW, THERE ARE
A LOT OF ISSUES

THAT I REALLY
CARE ABOUT.

IT'S A GREAT IDEA,
HONEY.

DO IT.

YEAH, WELL, UH...

I JUST MIGHT.

I CAN'T.

I JUST NEED SOME TIME.

I GOT TO GO.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

HELLO?

CARLOS.

HELLO?

"PRINCESS..."

"THE GREAT DIFFERENCE

"BETWEEN PEOPLE
IN THIS WORLD

"IS NOT THE DIFFERENCE

"BETWEEN THE RICH
AND THE POOR

"OR THE GOOD
AND THE EVIL.

"THE BIGGEST
OF ALL DIFFERENCES

"IN THIS WORLD

"IS BETWEEN THOSE...

"THAT HAD OR HAVE
PLEASURE IN LOVE

"AND THOSE THAT HAVEN'T

"OR HADN'T ANY PLEASURE
IN LOVE.

"I DON'T MEAN
JUST ORDINARY LOVE

"OR THE KIND YOU CAN BUY.

I MEAN GREAT LOVE."

WHAT'S THAT FROM?

SWEET BIRD OF YOUTH.

MAYBE YOU DO BELONG
IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA.

YEAH?

YEAH.

COME ON.

SHOW ME HOW MUCH
YOU WANT IT.

COME ON.

DO ME.

YEAH.

COME ON.

I HAD FUN, MARIA.

MARIA, WHAT'S WRONG?

I'M SO WORRIED
ABOUT MY BROTHER.

HOW COME?

MY FATHER,

HE'S NOT
A GOOD MAN, AND...

I'VE ALWAYS MANAGED
TO KEEP AWAY FROM HIM,

BUT CARLOS HASN'T.

MY MOTHER FOUGHT SO HARD
TO GET HIM AWAY IN MEXICO.

THAT'S WHEN SHE HAD
HER BREAKDOWN.

AND NOW CARLOS IS BACK,

AND MY FATHER
WON'T TURN HIM LOOSE.

MARIA,
I WANT YOU TO KNOW

THAT NO MATTER HOW BAD
THE PROBLEMS GET,

YOU DON'T EVER HAVE
TO BE EMBARRASSED

OF YOUR FAMILY WITH ME.

OK?

THANKS FOR SAYING THAT.

SURE.

I'LL CALL YOU?

OK.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

HI, IT'S JENNIFER.

COULD YOU GET ME ANY
OF THE WRITERS, PLEASE?

HI, ZACK.
IT'S JENNIFER.

LISTEN.
YOU KNOW THAT MEXICAN KID

I TOLD MARTIN ABOUT?

UH, THE EXTRA?

YEAH.

COULD YOU THROW
SOME LINES HIS WAY?

YOU KNOW, GIVE HIM A BIT
OF BUSINESS TO DO.

OK.
MEXICAN BUSINESS.

I THINK IT WOULD BE FUN.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

FUN MEXICAN BUSINESS.
YOU GOT IT.

WHAT'D YOU DO
TO JENNIFER, MAN?

SHE DON'T COME
TO SEE US NO MORE.

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED
TO SEE HER, HUH?

I SEE HER.

WHEN?

I MAKE TIME.

SHE IS ONE CRAZY,
KINKY BITCH.

YEAH, MAN.
SHE'S MAD, TWISTED.

Boy: YOU THINK SHE'S GOING
TO MAKE YOU A STAR, HUH?

THE NEXT ANTONIO BANDERAS
AND SHIT.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
YOU'RE SO SPECIAL, MAN?

YEAH, IF YOU'RE GOING
TO BE SUCH A BIG STAR,

WHAT ARE YOU STILL
DOING HERE, MAN?

YOUR SHIT
STILL STINKS, BRO.

I'M ONLY DOING IT
FOR A WHILE.

[LAUGHTER]

A WHILE.

[BOTH SINGING LA LUNA]

[SINGING CONTINUES]

♪ LA LUNA ♪

MARTIN.

WE'VE GOT SOMETHING
FOR THE LATINO GUY.

YOU'RE GOING
TO LOVE THIS, ALL RIGHT?

2 WORDS--

MEXICAN GARDENER.

GARDENER?

GREASY GARDENER
OUT IN THE GARDEN

CLIPPING THE HEDGES.

GINA INVITES HIM IN
FOR LEMONADE...

Writer: THEY BOOM.

Zack: THEY BOOM.

DOES IT ALWAYS
HAVE TO BE ABOUT SEX

WITH YOU GUYS?

WHAT DO YOU WANT IT
TO BE ABOUT, POLITICS?

COME ON, GUYS.

TELEVISION CAN
ENTERTAIN AND EDUCATE.

THAT'S A GOOD POINT.

WELL, HOW ABOUT IF
RIGHT BEFORE THEY HAVE SEX,

HE PULLS A CONDOM OUT
AND SAYS,

"HEY, LOOK WHAT THEY
HANDED OUT IN SCHOOL TODAY"?

OR WHEN THEY'RE FUCKING
ON HER DESK,

SHE CAN KNOCK OVER
A RECYCLING BIN.

THAT'S GOOD.

GUYS.

WELL, LOOK, I MEAN,

HE'S AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT.

YOU KNOW,
SHE'S HELPING HIM OUT.

GETS YOUR POINT ACROSS.

HEY, ARE YOU CARLOS?
PEPE SENT ME.

OK.

LOOK, I'M SORRY, KID.
COULD--

HEY, STUD.

HI.

HELLO.

HOW ABOUT TAKING THE DAY OFF
AND SPENDING IT WITH ME?

I CAN'T.

I WANT TO TAKE YOU
TO THE STUDIO.

THE SCRIPT FOR THE SHOW
IS READY.

YOU'VE GOT LINES
AND EVERYTHING.

Man:
HEY, COME ON.

I COULD COME LATER.

CARLOS, THERE'S PEOPLE
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO MEET

IF YOU WANT TO DO
WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO DO.

NOW, YOU'RE TELLING ME
YOU DON'T HAVE THE BALLS

TO BLOW OFF
YOUR DAY JOB?

Man: CARLOS.

YOU WANT SOME
BUSINESS OR NOT?

Man: HEY.

HEY, COME ON.
WHAT DID I SAY?

THAT'S BETTER.

HEY, WHERE YOU GOING,
CARLOS?

YOU LITTLE TRAMP!

FUCK YOU!

Jennifer: HI, JOE.

THANKS, HON.

HAVE A GOOD ONE.

♪ LET ME HEAR YOU SAY,
LET ME HEAR YOU SAY ♪

♪ LET ME HEAR YOU SAY ♪

♪ LET ME HEAR YOU SAY
YEAH ♪

♪ LET ME HEAR YOU SAY,
LET ME HEAR YOU SAY ♪

♪ LET ME HEAR YOU SAY
YEAH ♪

♪ LET ME HEAR YOU SAY,
LET ME HEAR YOU SAY ♪

♪ LET ME HEAR YOU SAY
YEAH ♪

♪ LET ME HEAR YOU SAY,
LET ME HEAR YOU SAY ♪

♪ LET ME HEAR YOU SAY
YEAH ♪

THIS IS GOOD, GUYS.

YEAH, IT'S, UH...

THE WHOLE ILLEGAL
IMMIGRANT THING

IS JUST REALLY...

UH, TOPICAL AND HOT.

PRETTY EXCITING WAY
TO START YOUR CAREER.

YES, IT'S GREAT.

WHAT OTHER WORK
HAVE YOU DONE?

OH, HE DID SOME
REGIONAL THEATER IN MEXICO.

I'M JUST SORT OF GOING
ON A HUNCH HERE, GUYS.

I CAN FEEL THESE THINGS.

YEAH.
WELCOME.

THANKS.

OK, WELL,
SEE YOU SOON.

UH, GOOD MEETING YOU.

GOOD TO MEET YOU.

BYE, GUYS.

YOU DON'T EVEN
HAVE TO TELL ME.

OK, WE'RE GOING TO
NEED YOU ON WEDNESDAY,

SO WE'LL HAVE
SOMEONE CALL YOU

ON TUESDAY AFTERNOON,
ALL RIGHT?

OK.

DO YOU WANT TO STAY
AND REHEARSE FOR A BIT?

IT MIGHT BE GOOD
TO GO OVER YOUR SCENE.

I'D LIKE THAT.

I'M GOING TO LEAVE.

UH, I'LL TURN
THE LIGHTS OUT HERE,

AND I'LL JUST
LEAVE THE LIGHTS ON

ON THE SET, OK?

OK.

LUCY...

IS MARTIN AROUND?

I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM, NO.

OK. THANKS
FOR EVERYTHING.

ALL RIGHT.
BYE-BYE.

WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME MORE LEMONADE?

RIGHT NOW,

I'M THIRSTY

FOR A KISS.

YOU'RE OUT OF LINE, PANCHO.

YOU KNOW MY INTEREST IN YOU
IS PURELY POLITICAL.

GINA...

THIS IS POLITICAL.

[JENNIFER AND CARLOS
PANTING AND MOANING]

Jennifer:
OH, MY GOD!

OH, YOU ANIMAL.

[MAN SINGING IN SPANISH]

I GOT TO GO.

I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.

BYE.

[MAN SINGING IN SPANISH]

OH, HI, HONEY.

WE'VE BEEN REHEARSING.

OH.

MARTIN,
THIS IS CARLOS.

HI.
NICE TO MEET YOU.

HELLO.

I'M SO EXCITED.

THIS IS GOING TO BE

ONE OF THE MOST SOCIALLY
RESPONSIBLE SHOWS

WE'VE EVER DONE.

YEP.
I THINK THAT'S TRUE.

AND WE'RE LUCKY
TO HAVE RUN INTO CARLOS.

HE'S VERY TALENTED.

WELL, HE CERTAINLY
LOOKS THE PART, HUH?

THANK YOU.

LISTEN, IF YOU WANT
A RIDE HOME,

IT'S NOT A PROBLEM.

NO, I'LL TAKE
THE BUS.

I'M A BIG MAN. I CAN
TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

OK. THROUGH THAT DOOR

WILL TAKE YOU
RIGHT TO THE STREET.

CARLOS,
NICE MEETING YOU AGAIN.

GOOD LUCK.

THANK YOU.

BYE, CARLOS.

GOOD-BYE, AND
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.

Woman: MARRY ME!

Man: A DEAL WITH FOX.

$1 MILLION FOR 3 YEARS.

Woman:
OVER HERE, CARLOS!

[SHOUTS
BECOME INCOHERENT]

THINK YOU'RE A BIG
MOVIE STAR NOW.

FUCK ME OVER, HUH?

I HAD TO.
THIS IS MY CHANCE.

YOU THINK JENNIFER'S GONNA
HELP YOU WITH THIS SHIT,

BUT THESE PEOPLE ARE GONNA
MAKE AN ASSHOLE OUT OF YOU.

YOU DON'T KNOW HER.

I DO KNOW HER!

SHE'S GONNA PRETEND
TO PUT YOU IN HER SHOW

SO YOU CAN GET GOOD
AND EXCITED

FOR WHEN SHE FUCKS YOU.

THAT WOMAN
IS A DICK FIEND.

THIS IS WHERE
YOUR TALENT LIES.

FUCK YOU!

WE DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT
LIKE THIS.

NOW, I KNOW...

THAT DEEP DOWN
INSIDE...

YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT.

I HAD DREAMS...

BUT MY FATHER TAUGHT ME
TO BE A MAN.

AND THE SON OF A BITCH
WAS RIGHT.

YOU'RE MY SON.

I LOVE YOU,
AND I CARE FOR YOU.

NOBODY ELSE DOES.

THIS TIME...

[VIEWER GASPS]

YOU ARE GONNA LOSE.

WHAT THE FUCK
YOU DO THAT FOR?

BECAUSE SHE'S A FUCKING CUNT
AND HER FUCKING SHOW STINKS.

WHAT'S THE MATTER,
PAPI?

I DON'T WANNA
TALK ABOUT IT.

COME HERE.

COME TO MOMMY.

IT'S TERESA, ISN'T IT?

SHE'S GETTING SICKER,
I BET.

IT MUST BE HARD TO SEE HER
IN THE HOSPITAL.

YEAH, MAYBE THAT'S IT.

NENA, CARLOS HAS BEEN
SCREWING UP AT WORK A LOT.

I NEED YOU TO GO OUT
ON DOUBLE DATES WITH HIM

AS MUCH AS YOU CAN, OK?

KEEP HIM IN LINE.

BOY NEEDS TO GET HIS HEAD
IN CHECK REAL QUICK.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

IT'S NOT LIKE I EXPECT
MY FAMILY TO KISS MY ASS.

I KNOW THAT.

BUT YOU'D THINK
ONCE IN A WHILE

THEY WOULD GIVE ME
A LITTLE CREDIT

FOR EVERYTHING
I DO FOR THEM.

I RENT THEM
A GOOD HOUSE,

I PAY FOR EVERYTHING...

THEY NEVER SAY
THANK YOU.

[SINGING IN SPANISH]

[HUMMING TUNE]

I DON'T KNOW
IF I DID THE RIGHT THING

INVITING FRED OVER.

I DON'T KNOW IF I'M READY
TO HAVE HIM COME HERE.

DO YOU WANNA
CANCEL IT?

NO.

GOOD.
THEN GO WITH IT.

IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

PEPE'S WORKING
ANYWAY.

YOU'RE GONNA BE HERE,
RIGHT?

I'LL BE HERE.
DON'T WORRY.

GUESS WHAT.

WHAT?

I GOT THE SCRIPT.

"YOU KNOW, PANCHO,

SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS
ARE MEXICAN."

NONE OF YOUR OTHER
MEXICAN FRIENDS

COULD EVER MOW YOUR LAWN
THE WAY I CAN, GINA.

I AM LIKE A MATADOR
WITH MY LEAF BLOWER.

LIKE A MATADOR
WITH M Y L EAF BLOWER.

MY LEAF--W ITH MY--

WITH--WITH...

OOH!

MY GRASS IS OVERGROWN.

TAKE ME,
YOU LATIN STUD.

TAKE ME, PLEASE.

I'M HELPLESS,
AND I'M WHITE.

YOU'RE NOT HELPING.

PANCHO.

PANCHO, TAKE ME, PLEASE.

IT'S MY JOB
TO PLAY A STUD.

FINE. I'LL PLAY A STUD.

I'M SORRY.

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU
TO MAKE FUN OF THIS?

YOU'VE NEVER EVEN DONE
ANYTHING REMOTELY ARTISTIC.

HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?

SHIT.

I'M SORRY.

I DON'T KNOW
WHY I SAID THAT.

CARLOS, WHY DON'T
YOU QUIT WITH PEPE NOW?

WHAT IS HE GONNA DO?

NO, I CAN'T PISS HIM OFF
RIGHT NOW.

I CAN'T TAKE THAT CHANCE.

[HORN HONKS]

[HONK]

I GOTTA GO.

YOU REALLY SCREWED
PEPE OVER YESTERDAY.

YOU'RE MAKING HIM
TREAT YOU LIKE A BABY.

WHAT FOR?

ACTING.

YOU THINK
THAT RICH BITCH

IS REALLY GONNA
HELP YOU.

AY.

IF IT WAS THAT EASY,

DON'T YOU THINK

THAT EVERYBODY
WOULD BE ACTING?

I KNOW IT'S NOT PRETTY,

BUT YOU STAND TO MAKE
SOME MONEY WITH PEPE.

AND BELIEVE ME,
I KNOW HE CARES FOR YOU.

THAT'S IT.
STOP THE FUCKING CAR.

ARE YOU SURE?

STOP THE FUCKING CAR.

WHY?

STOP THE FUCKING CAR!

WHAT THE FUCK?

WHAT, ARE YOU
FUCKING NUTS?

FUCKING CRAZY.

SO...

YOU GETTING OUT?

NO, I'M NOT GETTING OUT.

I'M TIRED OF YOU AND YOUR
HIJA-DE-PUTA LECTURES.

WELL...

I AM SO SORRY

TO HAVE INCONVENIENCED
YOU IN ANY WAY AT ALL.

I GUESS THAT YOU DON'T
WANNA GRACE US WHORES

WITH YOUR PRESENCE, HUH?

GOD FORBID
THAT SOME DUMB WHORE,

WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE
YOUR FATHER'S GIRLFRIEND,

SHOULD TRY AND HELP YOU
MAKE SENSE OF THINGS.

I MEAN,
THAT WOULD REALLY SUCK.

SHUT UP!

IF YOU'RE SO FUCKING HOT,
WHY DON'T YOU GET OUT?

JUST SHUT UP!

I'M HERE TO DO THE JOB,
AND THAT'S IT.

I'LL DO ALL THE FUCKING
THAT I'M REQUIRED TO DO.

BUT ANYTHING ELSE,
WHATEVER I DO,

IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING
BUSINESS.

JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE DUMB
ENOUGH TO BE WITH PEPE

DOESN'T MAKE YOU MY MOTHER
NOR MY GODMOTHER.

YOU ARE NOT MI FAMILIA,

SO JUST DRIVE
THE FUCKING CAR

TO THE FUCKING PLACE

AND STOP YOUR FUCKING
CEREMONIES.

SURE.

WHATEVER FLOATS
YOUR BOAT.

OH, HI.

BUMCAKES,
THEY'RE HERE!

THERE'S NO HURRY.

YEAH, PLEASE,
TAKE YOUR TIME.

IT'S GROOVY,
YOU KNOW?

WE'D LIKE IT BETTER
IF YOU JUST DID IT.

MY MACHETE...

IS GONNA CUT YOU OPEN.

CARLOS.

FUCK YOU.
I'LL FUCK YOU.

CARLOS,
STOP IT.

HEY, DUDE,

THAT'S NOT COOL,
ALL RIGHT?

STOP IT.
CARLOS, STOP.

Woman: IS HE ALL RIGHT?

HE'S--HE'S FINE.

CARLOS, THESE PEOPLE
JUST WANT US

TO MAKE LOVE NICE,
OK?

YOU JUST GOTTA
TAKE IT EASY.

ARE YOU READY?

UH, MAYBE WE HAVE
A PROBLEM HERE.

MAYBE.

PLEASE, UM, JUST
GIVE ME A MINUTE.

CARLOS.

CARLOS.

[POUNDING]

[POUNDING]

CARLOS.

HI.

CARLOS.

I WOULD REALLY ENJOY
KISSING YOU RIGHT NOW.

WOULD IT BE ALL RIGHT
IF I KISSED YOU?

WOULD IT BE ALL RIGHT
IF I HOLD YOU?

WOULD IT BE ALL RIGHT
IF I TOUCH YOU?

Man:
♪ TAKE CARE ♪

♪ NOT TO HURT YOURSELF ♪

♪ BEWARE OF THE NEED ♪

♪ FOR HELP ♪

♪ YOU MIGHT ♪

♪ NEED TOO MUCH ♪

♪ AND PEOPLE ARE SUCH-- ♪

♪ TAKE CARE ♪

♪ PLEASE ♪

♪ TAKE CARE ♪

♪ SOME PEOPLE READ ♪

♪ IDEA BOOKS ♪

♪ AND SOME PEOPLE ♪

♪ HAVE PRETTY LOOKS ♪

♪ BUT IF ♪

♪ YOUR EYES ARE WIDE ♪

♪ THEN ALL WORDS ASIDE ♪

♪ TAKE CARE ♪

♪ PLEASE TAKE CARE ♪

♪ MMM... ♪

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

HOLA, M'IJA.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

HEY, NENA, WHAT'S
WITH ALL THE ROSES?

WHAT IS IT, MY BIRTHDAY
OR SOMETHING, HUH?

I'M HAVING A FRIEND
OVER FOR DINNER.

A FRIEND?

YES, A FRIEND.

MAYBE I SHOULD STICK AROUND
AND MEET THIS FRIEND, HUH?

AND MAYBE I'LL KILL YOU.

I'M KIDDING.
I'M JUST KIDDING, OK?

JUANCITO, STAY HERE

AND KEEP AN EYE
ON THIS FRIEND, OK?

[CHUCKLING]

I USED TO WANT
A LOT OF THINGS,

BUT...

I STILL DREAM OF HAVING
A LITTLE MORE SOMETHING.

I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE JUST
A LITTLE GESTURE

FROM THOSE WHO LOVE ME.

LIKE IF PEPE
WASN'T SO EMBARRASSED

TO TAKE ME OUT
IN PUBLIC.

SOMETIMES
THAT BIG FUCK

CAN MAKE ME FEEL
SO SMALL.

HE'S BAD.

HE'S GOOD.

YOU JUST HAVE TO TRY
TO UNDERSTAND HIM.

HE HAS A LOT
TO DEAL WITH.

HIS BUSINESS
IS GROWING FAST,

AND...

EVEN THOUGH HE'S KNOWN
FOR A WHILE,

I'M SURE IT'S NOT
VERY EASY FOR HIM

WITH YOUR MOTHER DYING.

MY MOTHER DYING?

I'M SORRY.

LETTI...

MY MOTHER HAD
A MENTAL BREAKDOWN,

BUT THE DOCTOR SAYS
SHE'S ON HER WAY UP.

I SWEAR TO GOD.

YOUR MOTHER IS NOT DYING
OF CANCER?

IS THAT WHAT
PEPE TOLD YOU?

MY GOD.

YOUR MOTHER
IS NOT DYING?

NO.

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT,
CARLOS.

ARE YOU TELLING ME
THE TRUTH?

MY MOTHER IS NOT DYING.

THAT FUCKER!

I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU
HE'S A--

LISTEN, JUST SHUT UP
AND GET YOUR CLOTHES ON.

HEY, YOU GUYS WERE GREAT.

OH, YEAH? BIG FUCKING WOW!

WHERE ARE WE GOING?

SO YOU FIND A JOB YET,
FRANK?

YEAH. I'M TAKING OVER
JENNIFER UPLAND'S SHOW.

CARMEL COUNTY?

REALLY?

YEAH, HER HUSBAND
WAS PRODUCING IT,

BUT HE'S QUITTING.

THAT'S INTERESTING.

YOU KNOW,
I LOVE THAT SHOW.

OH, I'M A BIG FAN.

REALLY?

OH, BIG FAN.

OH, THAT'S GREAT.

CARLOS SAYS THAT TERESA
IS NOT DYING.

CARLOS IS AN IDIOT.

HE DOESN'T KNOW
WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT.

YOU ARE A FUCKING LIAR.

COME ON, CARLOS,

WE'RE GOING INSIDE
FOR A FUCKING DRINK!

UH, ISN'T HE A LITTLE BIT
YOUNG TO BE IN HERE?

OH, JEEZ.

LET'S GET
OUT OF HERE.

WE ARE STAYING.

OW!

Carlos: HEY! STOP!

[CURSING IN SPANISH]

GET OFF OF HER!

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

I SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOU
IN MEXICO,

YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT!

GET OUT!

[WHIMPERING]

YOU'RE DEAD.

MMM.

THIS IS REALLY,
REALLY DELICIOUS.

GREAT.

I'M GLAD
YOU LIKE IT.

THE TAMALES
ARE A LITTLE DRY.

IT'S KIND OF HARD TO
GET THEM JUST RIGHT.

NO, NO, NO.
THESE ARE GREAT.

THEY'RE DELICIOUS.

THANKS.

¿MAMI...

TIENES HAMBRE,
HUH?

MMM.

¿UH, SEÑOR?

MMM?

MY UNCLE...

HE LOVE TAMALES.

HE ATE THEM
ALL THE TIME.

BUT ONE DAY,
THE CORN WAS GREEN,

AND HE CHOKE...

DEAD...

WE THINK.

UH, NEXT WE BURY HIM.

YEARS LATER,

THEY HAD TO MOVE
THE COFFIN

FROM THE CEMENTERIO.

THEY SAY
THAT HIS FINGERS--

BLOODY FROM SCRATCHING--

WAS COMING THROUGH
THE WOOD.

BURIED ALIVE.

[LAUGHING]

MARIA,
WHEN YOU BURY ME,

MAKE SURE I'M REAL DEAD.

ALL RIGHT,
ENOUGH STORIES.

VAMONOS.

UH, IS, UH...

VERY NICE
MEETING YOU.

[SPEAKING SPANISH
AWKWARDLY]

UH, EXCUSE ME.

BUENAS NOCHES,
JUANCHO.

GOOD NIGHT, MOMMY.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

UH, TAKE YOUR TIME.

[NERVOUS LAUGH]

HEY. PSST.

HEY.

YOU...

AND HER.

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING LOUDLY]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

OHH.

OOF.

[FRED GIGGLES NERVOUSLY]

ISN'T IT GREAT
SHE'S GETTING BETTER?

OH, YEAH.
SHE'S--SHE'S GREAT.

SHE--SHE'S VERY LUCKY
TO HAVE YOU AROUND

TO HELP HER
AND EVERYTHING.

I'D DO ANYTHING
FOR HER TO GET BETTER.

LET ME TAKE THIS.

OH, THANKS.

YOU BETTER GO.

IT'S NOT GOOD FOR YOU
TO BE ALONE RIGHT NOW.

IT'S OK.

I DON'T THINK SO.

DON'T WORRY.

I'LL BE FINE.

I SHOULD'VE STOPPED HIM.

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT,
CARLOS.

I SHOULD'VE.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA
DO NOW?

I'M GONNA GO STAY
WITH MY SISTER.

I'LL BE FINE.

TELL ME
WHERE TO CALL YOU.

GO.

GOOD-BYE.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

I HOPE CARLOS
IS ALL RIGHT.

HEY, I HOPE
HE'S ALL RIGHT, TOO.

HEY, I'M MARIA'S FATHER.

OH. FRED MARIN.

FRED MARIN. HOW YOU DOING?
SIT DOWN. ENJOY YOUR FLAN.

HEY, VATO LOCO.

MI CASA ES SU CASA,
FRED MARIN.

WHERE'S CARLOS?

HE SAID HE WOULD
BE HERE FOR DINNER.

HE'S GREAT. HE'S FINE.
I SAW HIM THIS AFTERNOON.

SOMETHING HAPPENED
TO HIM, DIDN'T IT?

NO. NO WAY.

COME ON.
HE'S GLORIOUS.

I'M SURE OF IT, EH?

WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?

THIS IS A NICE FAMILY,
ISN'T IT?

SHE CAN COOK SO GOOD.

SHE'S PROBABLY
A VIRGIN STILL, YOU KNOW?

[SOBBING]

SIR, THIS IS NO WAY
TO TREAT YOUR DAUGHTER.

I'M SORRY. YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'M SORRY, OK? I DIDN'T MEAN
TO WORRY YOU ABOUT CARLITOS.

HE'S FINE, OK?

TE LO JURO
POR MI MADRE.

YOU'RE REALLY GOOD FOR HER.
I CAN TELL THESE THINGS.

YOU'D PROBABLY BE ABLE TO
TAKE CARE OF THE LITTLE BITCH

ALL BY YOURSELF.

WHY DON'T YOU
JUST SHUT UP?

[SPEAKING SPANISH
BOASTFULLY]

STOP IT!

STOP IT!

[MAKING ANIMAL GRUNTS]

THAT'S IT!

I'M NOT COOKING FOR YOU!
YOU CAN ALL GO TO HELL!

MARIA, WAIT.

THAT GOES FOR YOU, TOO!

I DON'T NEED ANY MORE
PEOPLE TO WORRY ABOUT!

[PEPE AND JUANCITO
CACKLING]

YOU KNOW...

YOU KEEP TRYING TO BE
CHARMING AND EVERYTHING

BUT THAT'S NO GOOD HERE,
OK?

SO I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR,

BUT WHY DON'T YOU

JUST GET THE FUCK
OUT OF HERE, OK?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

YOU DON'T CARE FOR MARIA
AT ALL.

YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO'S COMING HERE

LOOKING FOR A FREE
PIECE OF ASS.

THERE'S NOTHING IN THIS
HOUSE THAT'S GONNA BE FREE.

IT'S GONNA COST YOU
50 BUCKS.

YOU'RE SICK. SHUT UP.

HEY, 50 BUCKS
IS A BARGAIN.

YOU GOT 50 BUCKS?

YOU'RE SICK.

YOU'RE ALL SICK!

[CHUCKLING]

¡COBARDE, PENDEJO!

SHUT THE FUCK UP,
ASSHOLE.

YOU DON'T TAKE CARE
OF THIS FAMILY, HUH?

YOU BETTER START THINKING
OF WAYS TO MAKE MONEY,

'CAUSE I AM NOT GONNA BE
PAYING FOR ANYTHING ANYMORE!

I AM OUT OF HERE,

AND IT'S
YOUR FUCKING FUNERAL!

LOSE SOME FUCKING WEIGHT.

[SCREECH]

THESE PEOPLE ARE GONNA
MAKE AN ASSHOLE OUT OF YOU.

YOU THINK JENNIFER'S
GONNA HELP YOU?

THAT WOMAN
IS A DICK FIEND, CARLOS.

OHH.

YOU HAVE
THE NICEST COCK.

[BZZT]

WHAT HAPPENED?

PEPE SAID
THAT YOU WERE GOING

TO PUT ME IN THE SHOW
JUST TO BE NICE

AND THEN CUT ME OUT
LATER.

LET'S GO IN HERE.

AM I GONNA REALLY
BE IN YOUR SHOW,

OR IS IT JUST BULLSHIT?

YOU'RE IN IT,

AND NO ONE'S GONNA
CUT YOU OUT.

QUIT BEING SUCH A BABY.

YOU NEED TO RELAX.

I'VE DONE MY PART.

NOW YOU DO YOURS.

LET'S DO IT TOGETHER.

THIS IS NOT GOOD.

BUT I NEED IT.

MAYBE I SHOULD GO.

CARLOS, I'VE BEEN
TAKING CARE OF YOU.

WHAT ABOUT ME?
I HAVE NEEDS, TOO.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO

IF I DON'T FOOL AROUND
WITH YOU,

TAKE THE PART
AWAY FROM ME?

NO.

OF COURSE NOT.

I'M SORRY.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

IS MARIA UP?

SHE'S IN HER BEDROOM.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE
WITH PEPE.

MARI,

IF PEPE COMES BACK HERE
AGAIN

OR TRIES TO HURT US,

I SWEAR I'LL KILL HIM.

DON'T TALK LIKE THAT.

WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.

I'M GONNA DO IT
WITHOUT HIM.

[MURKY VOICES]

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

♪ LONELY TRAIL SO LONG ♪

♪ A LONG AND TIRED PAST ♪

Maria:
SHUT UP, JUANCHO!

♪ EMPTINESS IS GONE ♪

♪ I FOUND MY PLACE ♪

♪ AT LAST ♪

Maria: SHUT UP!

[RING]

HELLO.

HI.

WHERE ARE YOU?

I'M AT THE OFFICE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
THERE?

JUST CAME BY TO PACK UP
SOME STUFF.

I QUIT MY JOB.

WHEN?

I WANT A DIVORCE.

DO YOU WANNA TALK?

I NEED TO KNOW

WHETHER YOU'RE COMING
IN TO WORK TODAY.

I'LL BE THERE.

BUENA SUERTE.

MMM. THANK YOU.

YOU'RE GONNA DO GOOD.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

OOH.

[SPEAKING SPANISH
ON TELEVISION]

AND YOU ARE?

I'M CARLOS AMADO.

I PLAY PANCHO.

WOULD YOU MIND COMING OVER
HERE WITH ME FOR A MINUTE?

I WANNA TALK TO YOU.

LOOK, I HAVE BAD NEWS.

THE PRODUCER QUIT THE SHOW
YESTERDAY.

WE'RE A NEW CREW

JUST BROUGHT IN
BY THE NEW PRODUCER.

AND I KNOW

YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO PLAY PANCHO,

BUT THEY'VE RECAST
THE PART.

I DON'T HAVE THE PART?

I'M SORRY.

I DON'T HAVE THE PART?

I SAID I'M SORRY.

NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK.

WHERE'S JENNIFER?

I DON'T KNOW.

NONE OF YOUR OTHER
MEXICAN FRIENDS

COULD EVER MOW YOUR LAWN
THE WAY I CAN, GINA.

I AM LIKE A MATADOR
WITH MY LEAF BLOWER...

LUCY!

LUCY, GET SECURITY,
PLEASE.

THAT IS MY PART!

Lucy: ALL RIGHT,
TAKE IT EASY.

THAT IS MY PART!

DON'T TOUCH ME!

LEAVE HIM ALONE.

YOU LIED TO ME!

SHUT UP!

OK?

JENNIFER, FRANK RIVERS.
I'M REPLACING MARTIN.

IS THERE A PROBLEM HERE?

YES. I WANT THIS KID
BACK IN THE SHOW.

WE REWROTE THE SCRIPT.

THE CHARACTER'S
A LOT OLDER NOW.

WELL, WRITE HIM BACK IN.

I DON'T CARE
WHAT ELSE YOU DO.

WELL, I GUESS WE COULD HAVE
2 LATINO CHARACTERS.

WHAT THE FUCK?

GET ME ANY OF THE WRITERS
ON THE PHONE.

WE'LL STRAIGHTEN
THIS SHIT OUT.

YOU HAPPY?

THANK YOU.

[GASPING]

CARLITOS,
YOU LITTLE FOOL,

YOU DOUBTED ME.

I HAVE A DIFFERENT
SCRIPT NOW?

I THINK SO.

I HAVE TO LEARN
MY LINES.

WHEN CAN I SEE IT?

DON'T WORRY.

THERE'S GONNA BE
A TELEPROMPTER.

COME ON.
COME WITH ME.

WAKE UP, MA.

WAKE UP.

MOMMY?

DON'T DO THIS, MOMMY.

MOM?

WAKE UP, PLEASE.

MOM.

[SOBBING]

WAKE UP.

DON'T DO THIS, PLEASE.

PLEASE DON'T.

JUANCHO!

GO CALL AN AMBULANCE!

JUANCHO!

I DON'T WANT
YOU TO--

HEY! ROLL OVER, ROVER.

LET PEPE TAKE OVER, HUH?

Frank: CUTE, HUH?

Jennifer:
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

DID MARTIN
SET THIS SHIT UP?

WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING ON MY SET?

WHO THE FUCK
LET YOU IN HERE?

GET HIM OUT OF HERE!

GET THE FUCK
OUT OF HERE.

Woman: OH! STOP IT!
SOMEBODY CALL 911.

HEY, YOU KNOW,

IF YOU WANT SOMETHING
IN THIS WORLD, CARLOS,

YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT,
OK?

I TRIED TO TEACH YOU
ABOUT IT...

OH!
AAH!

BUT YOU KEEP SUCKING UP
TO THE PUTA BITCH.

Jennifer:
ALL RIGHT, GET SECURITY!

DO SOMETHING!

PLEASE! HURRY!

COME ON, EH?

BE A MAN, HUH?

Woman:
OH, MY GOD! STOP IT!

HYAH!

[COUGHING]

Jennifer: WOULD SOMEBODY
GET OUT HERE, PLEASE?

I JUST DEALT
WITH SECURITY,

AND THEY WON'T
BE BOTHERING YOU.

IT WASN'T EASY,
CARLOS.

I HAD TO TELL THEM
THE TRUTH.

MAYBE WE SHOULD GO BACK
TO MY PLACE

AND TAKE CARE
OF THOSE WOUNDS.

I DON'T THINK SO.

[SPEAKING SPANISH
ON TELEVISION]

HI, JUANCITO.

HI, IS MARIA HERE?

IS MARIA HERE?

MARIA?

MARIA?

TERESA.

TERESA.

OH.

CANTINFLAS!

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

AY.

[GIGGLING]

[ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC
PLAYING]

Lysa Flores:
♪ I'D DO ANYTHING FOR YOU ♪

♪ HE SAID ♪

♪ KICKING CAUTION
TO THE WIND ♪

♪ BUT HE WAS TOO DRUNK ♪

♪ WITH EGO BACK THEN ♪

♪ AND THE WAY HE LAUGHED
WITH HIS HEAD THROWN BACK ♪

♪ AS HE SAID ♪

♪ I WILL BEG ♪

♪ BORROW ♪

♪ AND STEAL FOR YOU ♪

♪ HE SAID ♪

♪ I WOULD BEG ♪

♪ BORROW ♪

♪ AND STEAL ♪

♪ FOR YOU ♪

♪ BUT I SHOULD'VE KNOWN ♪

♪ THAT I'VE HEARD IT
BEFORE ♪

♪ HE SAID, STAY STRONG
AND BEAUTIFUL ♪

♪ LIKE A WILD,
THORNED FLOWER ♪

♪ HE SAID, STAY STRONG
AND BEAUTIFUL ♪

♪ OH, YEAH, HUH ♪

♪ LIKE A WILD,
THORNED FLOWER ♪

♪ PARKED
UNDER THE SHADOWS ♪

♪ OF A SPANISH MANSION ♪

♪ YOU SAID YOUR MOTHER
WAS KILLED ♪

♪ WHEN YOU WERE 15 ♪

♪ THIS BLUE FUNK
GOT TREATED ♪

♪ WITH BATTER AND TABOR ♪

♪ BY THE WOMEN PULLING
YOU UNDER THEIR WINGS ♪

♪ HE SAID, I'LL BEG ♪

♪ BORROW ♪

♪ AND STEAL ♪

♪ FOR YOU ♪

♪ HE SAID, I WOULD BEG ♪

♪ BORROW ♪

♪ AND STEAL ♪

♪ FOR YOU ♪

♪ BUT I SHOULD'VE KNOWN ♪

♪ THAT I'VE HEARD IT
BEFORE ♪

♪ HE SAID STAY STRONG
AND BEAUTIFUL ♪

♪ LIKE A WILD,
THORNED FLOWER ♪

♪ HE SAID STAY STRONG
AND BEAUTIFUL ♪

♪ LIKE A WILD,
THORNED FLOWER ♪

♪ TOSSIN' BACK A SHOT
OF ROTGUT WHISKEY ♪

♪ I SAID
WITH A PAST LIKE YOURS ♪

♪ I'M BOUND
TO BE THE VICTIM ♪

♪ YOU'VE GOT A HOLE
TO GET OUT OF ♪

♪ BUT THERE'S NO EXIT ♪

♪ WHEN YOU'RE LIVING
IN HELL'S KITCHEN ♪

♪ PARKED
UNDER THE SHADOWS ♪

♪ OF A SPANISH MANSION ♪

♪ YOU SAID
YOUR MOTHER WAS KILLED ♪

♪ WHEN YOU WERE 15 ♪

♪ THIS BLUE FUNK
GOT TREATED ♪

♪ WITH BATTER AND TABOR ♪

♪ BY THE WOMEN
PULLING YOU ♪

♪ UNDER THEIR WINGS ♪

♪ HE SAID, I'D BEG ♪

♪ BORROW ♪

♪ AND STEAL ♪

♪ FOR YOU ♪

♪ HE SAID, I WOULD BEG ♪

♪ BORROW ♪

♪ AND STEAL ♪

♪ FOR YOU ♪

♪ BEG ♪

♪ BORROW ♪

♪ AND STEAL ♪

♪ FOR YOU ♪

♪ HE SAID, I WOULD BEG ♪

♪ BORROW ♪

♪ AND STEAL ♪

♪ FOR YOU ♪

♪ WELL,
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN ♪

♪ THAT I'VE HEARD IT
BEFORE ♪

♪ HE SAID STAY STRONG
AND BEAUTIFUL ♪

♪ LIKE A WILD,
THORNED FLOWER ♪

♪ HE SAID STAY STRONG
AND BEAUTIFUL ♪

♪ LIKE A WILD,
THORNED FLOWER ♪

♪ STRONG AND BEAUTIFUL ♪

♪ LIKE A WILD,
THORNED FLOWER ♪

♪ STRONG AND BEAUTIFUL ♪

♪ LIKE A WILD,
THORNED FLOWER ♪

[CHANTING IN SPANISH]