Stage to Chino (1940) - full transcript

# Ridin' on the stage to Chino

# The only way that we know

# To pass the time away
is to yippa ati yea #

# Ridin' on the stage to Chino

# Here's the road
we like to travel #

# Though it's deep
in dust and gravel #

# Smile a while
the miles unravel #

# Through the stage
and several routes #

# Headin' for the old casino

# Pull away your palomino

# We're ready for the run
and the fun has just begun #



# Ridin' on the stage to Chino

# Headin' for the old casino

# Pull away your palomino

# We're ready for the run
and the fun has just begun #

# Ridin' on the stage
to Chino ##

# Come along boys
and listen to my tale #

# I'll tell you my troubles
on the old Chisholm trail #

# Come a ti yi
yippee yippee yea yippee yay #

# Come a ti yi
yippee yippee yay #

# On a ten-dollar horse
and a forty-dollar saddle #

# I'm done but goin'
to punchin' Texas cattle #

# Come a ti yi
yippee yippee yay yippee yay #

# Come a ti yi
yippee yippee yay #

# Up one mornin'
on the old Chisholm trail #



# Rope in my hand
and a cow by the tail #

# Come a ti yi
yippee yippee yay yippee yay #

# Come a ti yi
yippee yippee yay #

# I'm ridin' right a stagecoach
ridin' right along #

# Come on boys
and listen to my song #

# Come a ti yi
yippee yippee yay yippee yay #

# Come a ti yi
yippee yippee yay #

# Come a ti yi
yippee yippee yay yippee yay #

# Come a ti yi
yippee yippee yay ##

- The music, she's pretty, no?
- Huh?

I say, the music, she's pretty, no?

- What?
- Pretty music!

I can't hear you.
They're quite fond of singing.

The se?or has no soul.

Soul?

I'll be lucky if I have a head

by the time we get to Chino.

Don't worry, Mr. Boggs.

There's nothing to be alarmed about.

Oh!

Must have hit the jackpot.

Hee!

Hiya!

What're we stopping for?

I think the off leader
picked up a stone.

Now what?

I'm sorry, Miss McKay,
but the brake's stuck.

Hand over that mail
and get off the box there.

The rest of ya pile up and line up.

Alright, outside.

I said, get down!

I tell you, there's nothing
in here you want.

- T... these are just my samples.
- What do you mean samples?

Well that, just a..
I'm a salesman.

I have to earn a living
the same as you.

Or that is I, uh..

You don't have
to look at me like that.

I'm not hiding anything.

Ah, sorry, se?or,
to make you disappoint.

I got nothing.
I come here to look for gold.

W-when I find, uh,
I send for my wife.

I'm not interested in your wife.

But, se?or, you do not know my wife.

- Forget your wife.
- Se?or...

Here, let me help you.

Oh, careful. They broke his arm.

Hey, give this man a hand.

Si, se?or.

If I don't seem
as grateful as I should

it's because I'm upset.

Naturally.

If I recover, whom should I thank?

Uh, Dan Clark is my name.

I'm Caroline McKay.

Oh, uh, then you're on
the stage line, huh?

Well, not exactly.

My Uncle Charlie's been
running it for me.

How about me driving you in to Chino?

Oh, that's very kind, thank you.

Of course, I can drive.

Mm-hmm.

You step up, please.

Oh, I forgot!
The brake's jammed.

Jammed?

Liya!

The stage it just passed
must belong to the new line

Uncle Charlie wrote me about.

Chino certainly must be growing.

So I've heard.

That brake-jamming driver
of yours, have you had him long?

He wasn't here
when I left for the East.

Oh!

Hiya! Liya!

Whoa!

Elliot's beat us in again.

Yeah, you've been
sayin' that ever since

Elliot started the line.

Well, he's been beatin' us in

ever since he started the line.

Whoa!

- Uncle Charlie.
- Hello, Caroline.

Where's Hoagland?

Oh, he's inside.

- We were held up.
- Held up?

Hold up? Did they get the mail?

- Here's the mail.
- Thanks.

- Where did they get you?
- They broke my arm.

Well, you better get
right over to the doctor's.

- We'll stand the expense.
- You bet you will.

And you can pay me off right now.

- I'm through.
- Oh, listen, son.

Just because we had
a little trouble...

A little trouble?

'Two weeks ago,
a horse dropped the traces.'

'Last week, an axle broke.

'Today, they tried to kill me.'

I'm fed up riskin' my hide

for your two-bit stage.

I don't blame you, brother.

I wouldn't ride in that stage again

if I had to spend the rest of my life

in this town. Heaven forbid.

Now, you can't quit us like this.

Oh, let him go, Uncle Charlie.

- Would you mind please.
- Certainly.

- I'm sorry about Hoagland.
- Oh, I'm not.

Mr. Clark here's twice
the driver he was.

Oh, I forgot,
this is my uncle, Charlie Lait.

Mr. Dan Clark, who is going
to drive for us, I hope.

- Well, I, uh...
- Now, Caroline, don't be hasty.

- We may not need a driver.
- Why, of course, we will.

There are a lot of things,
I want to talk over

with you, Caroline.

You've been away, you know

and things have changed.

I guess I'll be running along.

Oh, just a minute.

We haven't discussed wages yet

but I'm sure
you'll be well satisfied.

I'm sure I would, but unfortunately

'I have other business
to attend to.'

And thanks for the offer, anyway.

I'll see you around.

Oh, Mr. Clark.

I'm J. Horatio Boggs,
the travelling emporium.

Carrying the most complete line
of general merchandise

west of the Mississippi.

I want to thank you for rescuing us.

I was glad to see Uncle Sam
was on the job.

Now, don't worry,
I didn't reveal your identity.

I'm a business man. I have to
make my living the same as you.

Just how do you know
how I earn my living?

I remember an incident in Tombstone

when a certain potent inspector
had to be called in.

I was in ladies underwear at the time

and doing very well, mind you.

Mm-hmm.

I never forget
a face, Mr. Clark.

Do me a favor, will you?

- Forget this one.
- You can rely on me.

I've sold good in this country
for 20 years.

And I found that if you talk
as much as I do

it's best to say very little.

Elliot must be a pretty big man
in this town.

' "Elliot Stage Line."'

' "Elliot Saloon."'

' "Elliot Undertaking Parlor."'

He brings them in, takes care
of them while they're here

and then carries them out.

Got some coming and going, huh?

Go on, Pete, keep talkin'.

That's all there is to it, Dude.

When a guy shoots my hat off

he's too close. We got out.

It's pretty a Jamba-bungling
as I ever saw.

I took care of Hoagland, even
bought tickets for my musicians

to ride the McKay Line
so we could have witnesses.

And you couldn't even get away
with one little mail sack.

Because some cowpoke
put a bullet through your hat.

Too bad he didn't aim lower.
Well?

I quit my job like you told me.

Oh, I told him it is broke

so, I thought
I better keep it bandaged.

See that you keep that mouth
of yours bandaged too.

How about a hand?

You're just in time.

You didn't waste any time
going to work, did you?

If you're working for Elliot

you wouldn't waste any time either.

Where is this Elliot
I've been reading so much about?

His office is over there,
with a "Mr." on it.

Thank you.

Say, uh, let's go...

Let's do, "I Love a Cowboy."

- "I Love a Cowboy", huh?
- First one.

- Mr. Elliot?
- I'm busy. Wait outside.

I'm sorry.

After all, Dude,
Caroline just got back to town.

You've got to give me a little time.

The girl don't know a thing
about the business.

She hasn't even got a driver,
so how can she buck your line?

With the mail franchise coming up

I can't afford to take
any more chances.

- I'd rather buy her out.
- But $5000...

That mail contract
is good for $15,000 a year.

I can afford to be generous.

- I haven't noticed it.
- No?

Here's an extra thousand for ya.

Just bring that bill of sale
back with her signature today.

# Down the road a little way
lives a pretty lass #

# She's moonin' about a cowboy

# You'll hear her yodelin'
all the day #

# Should you chance to pass

# Yes

# Yodelin' about a cowboy

# I love a cowboy

# Oh what a cowboy

# I love a cowboy

# Oh what a cowboy

Did you want to see me?

I did, but, uh, it can wait.

Don't bluff too much.

Who's your friend?

He's not my friend.

That's the cowpoke
that shot your hat off.

Psst!

Who do you suspect?

- You.
- Me? Why?

In the first place,
the brake didn't jam.

In the second place,
Hoagland's arm isn't broken.

And in the third place,
I don't like your Uncle Charlie.

But I haven't any Uncle Charlie.

No? Well, somebody has.

But, Uncle Charlie, why should
we sell out to Elliot?

We have the mail contract
and there's no reason

why it won't be renewed.

There's one good reason.

Elliot has submitted a bid himself.

And we've had a long run of bad luck.

Maybe, our luck will change.

Not as long as Elliot
wants that contract.

You mean, Elliot's our bad luck?

No, I don't mean that.

But, you know whenever I advise you

that I have only your interest
at heart.

Oh, I know that, it..

It's just that everything has
sort of happened all at once.

Why can't we wait for the government

to grant the contract?

And then if we lose, we'll sell.

Elliot's not going to pay you
$5000 for your goodwill.

And where are you going
to get a driver?

No man in his right mind
will take the job.

I hope I'm not interrupting.

You know I've been thinking
it over and if that, uh

stagecoach job is still open, I'm in.

I thought you had
too much business of your own.

Well, I decided to combine
business with pleasure.

- And working for you would be...
- You're hired.

I refuse to take the responsibility.

If you're crazy...

If he is crazy enough to drive

I'm crazy enough
to give Elliot a fight.

I don't understand how...

You wouldn't. You're not crazy.

- Need any help?
- No.

Then let that cool.
I wouldn't put any water on it.

You'll take the temper
out of the axle.

How did you learn so much?

By beating you in every day.

Hiya! Hiya!

Whoa!

- Hey, driver!
- Yeah.

That's where they doin'
all that prospectin'?

That's right.
Mighty pretty country, isn't it?

It depends on what you're lookin' for

scenery or gold.

Amigo! Amigo! Amigo!

Ah, Pedro.

Aye, listen, listen,
look at nuggets, se?or.

- Pedro strike gold.
- Good for you.

- Look at the size of them.
- He struck it.

Where's your diggings, partner?

On the stream.

- Why, there's his cradle. Come.
- Downstream, come on!

Pedro, I'm so happy for you.

Yeah, gracias, se?or. Gracias!

Wait! Wait!
You make big mistake!

She's my claim.

- Get out of here.
- Go on.

Alright, alright, boys, now look.

There's plenty of land up ahead.

This land belongs to Pedro
and his friends.

They ain't got no claim stake proper.

Well, I'll see that they do
and that they file properly.

- Yes, you will?
- Yes, I will.

Now, go on, get out of here.

Go find your own claims
and your own stake.

Get out, hurry up.

- Having trouble?
- Not me. I'm havin' fun.

- Gracias, se?or.
- Gracias, gracias.

You been very good to Pedro.

I make you my partner.

Now, I send for my wife, Rosa.

She make you partner too.

Well, and you better take that
up with Rosa.

Oh, no. Rosa be glad
with a partner like you.

Well, it's a nice day for a walk.

You help Pedro and his friends.
Now, we help you.

Pancho, Guillermo, Ernesto

Luis, Fernando, andale pronto.

Listen, Charlie, every day
you've got a new alibi

why your niece won't sell.

What did she or her old man
ever do for you

except let you work for 'em?

I'm giving you a chance
for some easy money.

I know all about that, Dude.

But we got to look at it
from Caroline's angle.

Now, the line's making money.

Clark's beatin' your stage
in regular.

Besides, she figured
on gettin' the mail contract.

But, I'll, I'll keep workin' on her.

Yeah, well, maybe Clark's
the one that needs workin' on.

A good smash in the nose...

Now, listen, Dude. No violence.

I wouldn't like that.

Neither will Clark.

Who's gonna pick this,
say, a fight with Mr. Clark?

- If I could get Slim steamed...
- Slim?

He's the best man with his fists
in this part of the country.

Yeah, but he don't know our business.

And if you're smart, he won't.

I'm way ahead of ya.

Suppose Clark's accidentally
hurt in the fight

and the sheriff grabs Slim..

...what do I lose?

Hoagland can drive.

Why, these are the finest
suspenders ever made.

Danged if I can see any use
in them things.

My friend, let me ask you
a simple question.

How would you feel if at this
moment your belt broke?

Huh?

How much are they?

Hey, Phil, grab them horses!

You unharness 'em,
I'll go tell Miss Carol.

Whoa! Whoa!

Don't tell me you beat Clark in.

Yeah, he lost his horses.

The horses just come in
without the stagecoach.

Without the coach?
Did it turn over?

Well, I don't think so,
Miss Caroline.

The harness ain't broke.

Oh, but Dan wouldn't..

Happy, something
must have happened to him.

Whoa!

Go get your claims filed, quick!

Si, se?or, gracias.

- Andale muchachos, vamos!
- Pronto, pronto.

Jackasses.

Yeah, and one up in the box

that got a hat on.

'You plan to use him
riding on this, Miss McKay?'

Yeah, she's cuttin' down
on her feed bill.

Maybe they don't understand English.

'Why don't you get down
and carry them?'

This is just the excuse
Clark's been looking for.

I don't get you.

Oh, he's been makin'
a lot of nasty threats lately.

He told me the day
you beat him into town

he's going to beat you to a pulp.

- Forget it.
- Forget it?

Look, what do you care

how often that loud mouth
beats you into town.

He's just waitin' for you
to start something.

Well, I'm an accommodating guy
and I won't keep him waiting.

Friend, this is the finest

sweetest smelling bar
of soap ever made.

With full directions for using,
printed right on the wrapper.

Well, if you think
I'm gonna learn to read

just so I can take a bath,
you're crazy.

Now, wait a minute, Slim.
Don't start anything.

I'm just gonna finish somethin'.

When I get done with Clark

he won't be sittin' on McKay's box.

He'll be laid out in one of yours

in that window.

We're the laughing stock of the town.

Thanks to Mr. Clark.

Oh, he..

He probably did the best he could.

For the line or for himself?

What're you trying to tell me?

All I know is that Elliot offered you

a good price to buy you out.

A few more incidents like this
and he'll laugh you out.

Here's the love and kisses.

Had a little trouble down the road.

- Horses come in?
- Yes.

Elliot's driver unhitched them on me.

I thought maybe you traded them
to him for the burros.

No, Slim caught me napping.

You picked a fine time
to catch up on your sleep.

Psst! Psst!

Excuse me.

Inspector, I've got your man.

- What're you talkin' about?
- Elliot's driver, Slim.

He's threatening bodily harm
and personal violence.

Oh, tell it to the sheriff,
that's none of my business.

Oh, yes, it is.
It'll interrupt the US Mail.

Alright, Boggsy.

- Who is Slim threatening?
- You.

A-and don't call me Boggsy.

# Oh where have you been
Billy boy Billy boy? #

# Oh where have you been
charming Billy? #

# I have been to seek a wife
she's the joy of my life #

# She's a young thing
and cannot leave her mother #

# Can she make a cherry pie
Billy boy Billy boy? #

# Oh can she make a cherry pie
charming Billy? #

# She can make a cherry pie
quick as you can wink an eye #

# She's a young thing
and cannot leave her mother ##

That friend of yours just came in.

You better slip out the back way.

Bank him around..
We'll take care of him.

Thanks, this is my fight.

Well?

Well?

Well, nice music, isn't it?

I don't think so.

Oh, well, t-this isn't as nice as...

Not good enough for you, huh?

- Well, did I say that?
- Yeah.

And you're lucky
you're not as big as, as he is.

Why, what would you do if he was?

Well, first I'd take off my gun.

Like this?

Yeah.

And then, I..

- Go, get him, boys.
- I started this.

I don't care who started.
I'm out to get Clark.

Oh, so you picked me
to do your dirty work, huh?

Shut up and get in there and fight.

I'll get in there.

You watch me.

Clark, look out.

Come on, boys, get 'em both.

Get in there and mix it up.

- Thanks, Slim.
- It's a pleasure.

Hey!

Get out of there, Slim.

Well..

What made you change sides
so quick, Slim?

I found out I was workin' for a rat.

You're not referring
to Chino's leading citizen

by any chance, are you?

Dan! Dan, what happened?

He just helped me
hand in my resignation.

Say, that's right.

You are out of the job, aren't you?

I needed the rest, anyway.

I've got some money
burnin' a hole in my pocket.

Oh, when you put that fire out

come and see me.

My friends, I have the finest bandage

in South-West of Mississippi,
guaranteed to..

And so I'm convinced
that all the trouble

that McKay's Stage Line has had

can be traced right to Elliot.

Maybe.

But you haven't any proof.

All you've done
is to make out a strong case

why we shouldn't grant
the franchise to Miss McKay.

If you hadn't stepped in,
she'd be out of business now.

Besides, Elliot put in a lower bid.

Ah, that's more Charlie Lait's work.

He's Miss McKay's uncle, and manager.

Miss McKay doesn't seem very smart

in selecting the people around her.

Well, I suppose she's blessed
with beauty rather than brains.

Let's leave personalities
out of this, Jim.

That's exactly what I'm going to do.

Might not be a bad idea
if you did the same thing.

Wait a minute.

Do you think just because
Miss McKay's a good-looking girl

that I'd be prejudiced in her favor?

I don't know, Dan.

But I can remember the time
when I would be.

Then why don't you take me
off the case?

Because, one week from today

the mail contract will be awarded.

And if you're the kind
of stubborn young fool

I know you are

you'll bring me the proof
on Elliot, if there is any.

Thanks. Is that all?

Oh, uh, one thing more.

Since you're out to give Elliot
credit for everything else

you might give him credit for this.

Last month, his stage brought in
$20,000 worth of gold dust

without a mishap.

Those are figures from the US mint.

Don't tell me they allow
Elliot in the mint.

Mm, naturally.

Tch, tch, tch.

Better watch that mint.

My, but your business
kept you a long time.

Yes.

It must've been
a very important business.

It was.

And very mysterious.

Mm-hmm. We all set?

Yes, I, uh, I finished my shopping.

Well... how does it look?

It could be a little tighter.

- Tighter?
- Yeah.

One strap slips
and the whole thing falls off.

Why, I..

I was talking about my new dress.

Huh?

Oh.

Say, it looks fine.

Caroline,
you're the most beautiful girl...

Se?or. Pardon, se?or.

Is this the stage to Chino?

Si, se?ora.

Then you are Se?or Dan.

- Yes.
- I am Rosa!

- Oh!
- Rosa! Rosa!

- Ro...
- Pedro's Rosa.

Oh, yes, Rosa.

He write me all about you.

- Uh-huh.
- I like to buy a ticket.

- Uh, how many?
- One.

'I hold ninos on my lap.'

Well, alright.

Hey, Pedro!

Whoa!

Rosa! Rosa!

Hey, what I tell you?

Rosa, she fine wife.

Every year, new nino.

That's how I keep track
how long we have been married.

Oh, you've been married
ten years, huh?

Only nine.

Last time, she gave me good measure.

Well..

Hello, Boggsy,
what're you doin' here?

Well, I'm collecting my accounts.

Accounts? Huh.

You're a little optimistic,
aren't you?

Not at all, I happen to know

just how much each man cashed in

in dust during the month.

I've got the figures right here.

Did you realize
there was $12,000 in gold

shipped out of here last month
to the US mint?

Ah, you're wrong, Boggsy.
$20,000.

Uh-uh, $12,000.

I got the figures
from Elliot's cashier

and he should know.

'He buys all their dust.'

They must be payin' 'em off
in the dark.

Or somebody shot $8000
that's not Elliot.

Come on, get in there.

I've got to stay here and

a-and square up my accounts.

Well, I've got a few accounts

to square up myself, get in.

Hmm?

More mysterious business?

Getting more mysterious every day.

Hut!

Hiya!

Slim, I hate to break in
on your vacation like this...

Ah, that's alright,
I was gettin' tired

of loafin' anyway.
You ready, Boggsy?

And don't forget which tie it is.

It's an ounce and one penny weight.

What's that for?

Now, this is my record
for Mr. Elliot.

What's the matter,
doesn't he trust you?

Oh, yes. $21.

- Hiya, Dude.
- Hello, Slim.

Where have you been
for the last month?

Around.

How are you and your friend

Clark getting along?

He's no friend of mine.

I like him as well as I like you.

Good afternoon, Mr. Elliot.

How many times have I told you..

- Hi, Dude.
- Hello, Clark.

I see you've done some fixing up
since I was here last.

Noticed you were in
the banking business.

Now, listen, Clark.

If you're figuring
on starting anything..

Starting anything? Me?

An ounce and a half.

Plenty a nice neckwear, Boggsy.

- How does it look?
- Ooh.

Do you like it?

- I'll buy it.
- Wait a minute.

- Gentlemen...
- You stay out of this.

Give me that!

Go get the sheriff.

- 'Give me that.'
- I'll give it to you.

Ooh!

Get up and fight.

I've had enough.

I'm sorry, Dude. I always seem
to be breaking up your place.

- Never mind that, get out.
- This weight's leaded.

Yes, and here's one to match it.

- Oh, they all got lead in 'em.
- We're being short-weighted.

You're crazy. You don't know
what you're talking about.

- Give me those.
- This is an argument.

I think I can settle it. Uh..

If you can make a comparison

I have a brand new set of weights.

Hold on now. I'll take charge.

- What's the trouble here?
- Arrest this man.

He's been short-weighing the boys.

And you better arrest the man
who hired him to do it.

- 'They can't... '
- Throw 'em both.

Sure, it's Elliot's place.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, boys.

I don't blame you for being riled.

The fact is I was as much
taken in by Wheeler as you were.

Yeah, that was our money
and I'm not breakin' my back

to put gold in his pocket.

Look, I hired Wheeler,
and I'll stand the losses.

If you'll just step in to my
office, I'll settle up with you.

The whole $8000?

'$8000?'

That, sheriff, is the difference

between what Wheeler paid
the miners last month

and what the United States mint
paid Mr. Elliot.

- Is that right, Elliot?
- I don't know.

I haven't got the figures here.

I have. Boggsy,
the little black book.

Where did you get these figures?

From Wheeler.

- What about it, Wheeler?
- Well, well, I...

Whatever Wheeler did,
he did on his own.

My promise still holds,
I'll make good the $8000.

We'll need that as evidence
against Wheeler.

Then Boggsy will be
very happy to present it.

Wait a minute, Clark,
you're not running things here.

I'm the one who lost the money.

Sure you are, and we don't want you

to lose any more.

Men, why don't you put your gold
with the government?

- Can I do that?
- How do we do that?

I'll tell you. Just take your
dust to the McKay Stage Line.

Seal it, mail it
to the United States mint.

They'll send you a treasury receipt.

"Honest weight guaranteed"

by Uncle Sam.

Pulled it over, didn't we?

I want..

Just over to see Wheeler again.

I told him if he'd be a good boy
and keep his mouth shut

I'd drop the charges against him

after we land the mail contract
tomorrow.

- What's that?
- Gold.

I'm going to mail it in
on the McKay Line.

You're going to ship gold
on their stage?

Certainly, they won't have a chance

of getting the mail contract

if anything happens to it.

I think something will.

It ain't gonna be easy
robbin' the stage

with Clark and Slim on the job.

We're not going to rob the stage.

Charlie Lait has a key to the office

and the combination to the safe.

We've got Charlie Lait.

Whoa!

How do you like working
for Uncle Sam?

Alright.

But I'm a little disappointed in you.

I've been lookin' for you
to give us a little trouble.

Well, don't stop looking.

Go on down the barn and saddle up

a couple of horses.

Here's the mail
with the treasury receipts.

Oh, business is sure good.

But only keeps up.

It keeps up like this, I'll go crazy.

There's more than $6000
worth of gold dust.

Bad enough having the
mail contract come up tomorrow.

- Without worrying about...
- You worry too much.

It isn't only the gold..

...it's you riding up there.

Caroline, uh..

...there's something
I wanted to tell you, I..

- I'm quitting.
- You're quitting?

Yesterday, I.. There's something
very important.

More important than getting
the stage to Prescott?

Well, uh, Slim will get
the stage there.

Well, you might at least
give me an explanation.

I'd like to, but I..

I just can't right now,
I'll see you later.

- Hello, Boggsy.
- Don't call me Boggsy.

Alright, my mistake, Mr. Boggsy.

Better keep that safe locked.

There's your receipt, Mr. Boggs.

Thank you. Uh,
good afternoon, Miss McKay.

How do you do?

Gold?

$6400.

I'm taking Clark's advise
and sending it by mail

if that's alright with you.

See that it is sealed
and give Mr. Elliot his receipt.

Keep you eye on the place, Joe.

'Oh, sheriff!'

Hello, Clark.
What can I do for you?

I have a message for you.

An order from the district court
in Prescott.

- Hmm, inspector, huh?
- Uh-hmm.

This is a surprise.

Come on in, I'll get him for ya.

Goodbye, Miss McKay.

I imagine I'll see you
in Prescott tomorrow

when they hand out the mail contract.

- Hi, Dude.
- What's going on here?

Oh, we're gonna find
a new place to bunk.

Getting a little lonesome.

I'm gonna take him over to Prescott

where he'll have somebody to talk to.

- Prescott?
- Yeah.

He's a postal inspector.

They're gonna ask me
a lot of questions.

And what do you expect
to find out from him?

Oh, if two and two make four,
or twelve and eight make twenty.

Would you like to come along?

Go on.

Clark's grabbed Wheeler
and he's takin' him to Prescott.

- Clark?
- He's a postal inspector.

If Wheeler talks, it's all our necks.

You said he'd keep his mouth shut.

As long as he was here, yes,
but if they gave him to Prescott

they'll sweat it out of him.

Get the boys, follow him

out of town and close in on him

before it's too dark
to shoot straight.

Get up there, Wheeler.

Inspector, you're not leaving?

Yes, uh, Wheeler wanted
to talk to chief.

Oh, what about
the stage, there's gonna

be a lot of gold on it.

I'm shipping $128.

Did you hear that, Slim?

Take good care of it now.

And Elliot's shipping over $6000.

Six thousand, with us?

I saw him.

Huh, good old Dude.

He just couldn't disappoint you.

- What're we doin' here?
- Waiting.

Come in.

- Well, did you get him?
- Not a sign of either of them.

- If you let them get away...
- They didn't get away.

If you ask me, Clark's hiding
Wheeler out not far from here.

He's not at the office.

I just left there
and Caroline's all alone.

Where's Slim?

Been down at the barn all afternoon.

Barn? Pete, you go down
and take a look.

If you find 'em, smoke 'em out.

And see that Wheeler's mouth
is closed for good.

I think I'll be running along.

Sit down, we'll need you.

Now, watch your back.

Elliot's $6000.

I promised to him
he wouldn't lose any more gold

even to himself.

Take care of my friend, will ya?

I'm going up to the office.

Get goin', handsome.

- Who is it?
- It's Dan. Let me in.

I've got to talk to you.

- More mysterious business?
- The mystery's about over.

And there are a few things
you should know.

I heard today that
you were a postal inspector

if that's what you mean.

I don't see
why you couldn't have told me.

Caroline, you're wasting time,
it isn't important

what's in that safe is.

Two shots came from down by the barn.

Hold on to that gun,
don't let anybody in here.

Dan, be careful.

- Happy.
- Somebody hit me on the head.

- Where's Slim and Wheeler?
- They're still inside.

- Uncle Charlie.
- Caroline, you still here?

Take this and don't let anyone in.

- They got Wheeler here.
- I guess he knew too much.

- How's Slim?
- Oh, he'll be alright.

Get him out of here. Hurry up!

Go on, I'll take the horses.

Dan! Dan!

What happened? Can I help?

- Get some water.
- Come on, boys. Hurry!

Get some water.

Alright, you men,
give me a hand with the stage.

Dan!

Help him, somebody.
He'll be burned.

Alright, everybody, get a hold
of that rope and pull.

Get the water first
and put the fire out!

Dan, are you alright?

I thought I told you
to stay in the office.

It's alright, Uncle Charlie's there.

Uncle Charlie?

- Water!
- Water!

Not so tight.

You want it to look real, don't you?

- Your worries are over, Dude.
- Got it?

- Right here.
- You know where to take it.

- What about Wheeler?
- He's yours.

- You're the town undertaker.
- Clark?

He's busy at the barn,
don't feel too bad

if McKay don't have a stage
to run tomorrow.

Some people have all the bad luck.

Better get goin'.

I tell you, I never saw
either one of them before.

But they were Elliot's men
and they knew you'd be here

with the combination to the safe.

I don't know a thing about that.

Or about Elliot.

Alright, Charlie.

You know, Wheeler's dead.

But before he died,
he did a lot of talking.

He didn't have a thing on me.
You can't prove it.

You know, there are a lot of
law-abiding people in this town.

And they're out there
helping Miss McKay.

Some of them had their gold
in this safe.

They'll wanna know
what happened to it.

And they're not in a very good mood.

- I can't go out there?
- No.

Then where did they take the gold?

Alright, they.. Maybe, they...

they may have taken it
to, to Dolan's.

Dolan's, huh? Come on.

Dan, where are you going?

Your Uncle Charlie
turned the gold over to Elliot.

- Uncle Charlie?
- Yes, and I'm going after him.

But, Uncle Charlie, how could you?

He'll write you a letter.

Miss McKay, we may be able
to get the stage to run tomorrow

if the heat hasn't softened the axle.

What's the use?

Of course, it won't look so good.

The leather's all burned off.

It's hopeless, Happy.

They've stolen the gold
from the office and..

...and Dan's gone after them.

Now, don't worry.
Inspector Clark will catch him.

He's been catchin' them for years.

Did you say the gold was gone?

And I had a $128.

- Is that the place?
- Yeah.

Get down.

But they might shoot.

Mm-hmm, I might too.

And I'm too close to miss.

Ah, oh, what'll I tell 'em?

Tell 'em you're Santa Claus.

You've come to take back
your presents.

- Who's that?
- 'It's me, Charlie.'

- Charlie?
- Yeah.

Uh, uh, uh, Dude sent me.

Get your hands up!

Pick those saddle bags up,
Charlie, and get outside.

You men follow him.

Pick up their reins, Charlie.

Hurry it up.

Alright, lead 'em up.

Alright, go ahead.

Don't know what we'd have done
without your samples.

Uh-uh, careful! Hairpins.

Where're you takin'
this thing to, a masquerade?

This is the best oil cloth
west of the Mississippi.

Guaranteed not to fade or stain

and can be washed clean
with soap and water.

Which is more than I can say
for some things around here.

That's tellin' him, Boggsy.

Don't call me Boggsy!

Sorry, I can't ride in with you, boys

but I've got a lot
of work in Prescott

to do before you get there.

What're you gonna do?
Report the robbery?

Certainly, as a good citizen

it's my duty
to protest such an outrage.

- What if Clark shows up?
- What if he does?

He'd be too busy explaining

what happened to Wheeler
and the gold.

And if that patched quilt
gets on the road

don't let it pass you,
it might scare the horses.

Boggs will take care of that.

Everything alright?

I don't know, but I sure hope so.

Well, we fixed it.

You certainly did.

Do you like it?

Oh, yes, it's..

- Have you seen Dan?
- No, not yet.

If I only knew what happened to him.

There goes Elliot's stage.

There must be something we can do.

Here's the mail. It's, uh, only
three letters, but it's mail.

Put it on the coach.
I'm driving in.

The least I can do is report it

to the postal authorities.

Good for you.

Just a minute, my boy.

I'm riding shotgun.

Alright, Boggsy.

Don't call me Boggsy.

Hi! Leader!

- What happened in town?
- Heard there was a big fire.

A lot of things happened.
You seen anything of Clark?

Something happened with Se?or Dan?

Last night, the McKay barn burned.

Clark disappeared
and so did your gold.

You make big mistake when you
talk like that about Se?or Dan.

You make big mistake when you
let Se Dan handle your gold.

Giddy up! Ah!

Get up there!

Whoa! Whoa!

- What's the matter?
- Where's our gold?

I don't know. The office
was robbed last night.

'I'm going to report it now.'

- Where's Clark?
- I don't know.

Wherever he is, I'll vouch for him.

Yeah, who's gonna vouch for you?

Get moving.

It's Dan.

Stand back!

- Where's our gold?
- Where's our gold?

Stand back there!

You three men get in the stagecoach.

Boggsy, you better tie 'em up
so they won't fall out.

- Pedro, give him a hand.
- Si, se?or.

Where's our gold?

Right here in these saddle bags.

Then let's see it.

Sorry, boys, it's United States Mail

and I'm taking it
to the United States mint.

Nice work, Boggsy. Get in there.

Hurry up.

Pedro, you take care of the horses.

- Si, se?or.
- Boggsy, you ride inside.

- With the ladies.
- Uh-hmm.

Ha! Ha! Haa!

Hey, be careful with those corsets.

Sure did a nice job
of fixing this stagecoach.

Looks like an ad for a medicine show.

Dan, I could cry.

What's the matter?
Don't you like medicine shows?

I'm so glad you're alright.

Lady, you think it'll hold on
till Prescott?

We might not even get there.

Elliot rode over on horseback
early this morning.

His stage can't be very far
ahead of us.

If they knew we were following them

no telling what they'd do.

We won't be following them long.

Giddy up, there! Haa!

Hiya!

That dust back there
looks like the McKay Stage.

Nah, you're seein' things.

Well, look for yourself.

McKay's stage, alright. Haa!

Now, I am seein' things.
Clark's driving.

Giddy up! Ha!

There they're now.
You better get inside. Hurry up!

I'm staying right here.

I'm still boss of this line.

Hiya!

Now, look what you did.

- Hey, Dan!
- Yeah!

It's beginning to come apart.

Haa! Ha!

Giddy up! Get in there.

They're gettin' pretty close.

If they get too close,
let 'em have it.

Haa! Ha!

Haa!

Here, grab the team.

Beat those leaders out in the front.

Giddy up, there! Hey!

That axle is bending.

We're gonna lose that wheel

pretty quick.

- Here!
- What're you gonna do?

When I jump, you pull up.

Whoa!

I'm not speaking
for myself, gentlemen

but for all those
who lost their hard-earned money

through the carelessness and
incompetence of the McKay Line.

I assure you, gentlemen

if I get the mail contract

I'll regard it as a secret trust.

And our mail and our money

'will no longer be at the mercy
of lawless men.'

What about Clark?

He promised to be here
last night with the evidence.

There's nothing I can do,
but give the contract to Elliot.

- How are you, Mr. Pierce?
- Well, hello, Elliot.

Well, it's about time, isn't it?

'Here she comes.'

Well, here's my outfit.

I take it that's the contract.

Well, here's your contract.

Signed, sealed, and..

...delivered!

Sorry, I had to borrow
your stage, Elliot.

But you won't be needing it anymore.

You're under arrest for murder,
among other things.

Deputies!

Get down.

Gotta unlock him first.

Get down out of there, you fellows.

Come on.

Nice work, Boggsy.

Alright, boys.
Take 'em and charge.

I'll see you in the office.

Dan, I can hardly believe
we really have the contract.

Speaking of contracts..

...there's another piece
of paper I'd like you to sign.

The best money can buy.

Guaranteed not to rust,
tarnish, or turn green.

- Hmm?
- Sold.

With my compliments

the finest baby rattle,
west of the Mississippi.