Squared Love (2021) - full transcript

NETFLIX PRESENTS

- ["Fire" by Barns Courtney playing]
- ♪ Lonely shadows following me ♪

♪ Lonely ghosts come a-crawlin' ♪

♪ Lonely voices talking to me ♪

♪ Now I'm gone
Now I'm gone, now I'm gone ♪

♪ And my mother told me
Son, let it be ♪

♪ Sold my soul to the calling ♪

♪ Sold my soul to a sweet melody ♪

♪ Now I'm gone
Now I'm gone, now I'm gone ♪

♪ Oh, give me that fire ♪

♪ Oh, give me that fire ♪



[camera clicking]

♪ Oh, give me that fire ♪

♪ Burn, burn, burn ♪

♪ Oh, a thousand faces staring at me ♪

♪ Thousand times I've fallen ♪

♪ Thousand voices dead at my feet ♪

♪ Now I'm gone
Now I'm gone, now I'm gone ♪

♪ Oh, give me that fire ♪

♪ Oh, give me that fire ♪

♪ Oh, give me that fire ♪

♪ Burn, burn, burn ♪

♪ Oh, give me that fire ♪

- [man gasps]
- [dog barks]

[man] Honey,



I've asked you already
not to let Willy into our bed.

Never mind him. What I want to know
is where the hell you've been.

- So, where?
- Nowhere.

[woman] Mm-hmm.

You woke him up, and that's really bad.

Did you know he has
a mating appointment this week?

Lack of sleep is bad for libido.

- [dog whines]
- [sighs]

["Oh My My" by Hael plays]

♪ Oh, I gotta say I need a break ♪

♪ And I've been thinkin'
'Bout the weekend ♪

♪ I needed escape ♪

♪ I wanna play ♪

♪ What can I play? ♪

♪ I need a go-getter, a non-stopper ♪

♪ A jet-setter, a jaw-dropper ♪

♪ I've been dreamin' 'bout it all day ♪

♪ I get it all, I get it my way ♪

♪ And I wanna take that new
New override ♪

♪ Really catchin' our stride ♪

♪ Everybody say, "Oh my, my" ♪

♪ Oh my, my, oh my, my ♪

♪ Everybody say, "Oh my, my" ♪

♪ If I get a taste, I want some more ♪

♪ I know it if I like it ♪

♪ Don't wanna wait ♪

♪ Open the door ♪

♪ Open the door ♪

♪ I need a go-getter, a non-stopper ♪

♪ A jet-setter, a jaw-dropper ♪

♪ I've been dreamin' 'bout it all day ♪

♪ I get it all, I get it my way ♪

♪ And I wanna take that new
New override… ♪

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Watch the face, lady.

So, are we, uh, going fishing?

Not fishing. Drawing. Drawing attention.

I still don't get it, you know?

Don't worry, neither does my principal.

[both chuckling]

[man] Wow! [chuckles]

One more ad, and it's all over.

All the dressing up is killing me.

- I'll pay off my dad's debt, and I'm done.
- [man] Hey!

I'm just so sick of this.

- Sick of what?
- Of this! What do you think?

- But it turned out fine.
- [woman] What? My naked butt?

Monika, Monika. I keep telling you.

Behind that naked butt there's
a heart, a brain, feelings, and dreams.

That's why you look so good in photos.

If every guy thought like you,
what a better world this would be.

Ah, well, then guess that
could only mean I'm one of a kind.

Of course you are.

[school bell ringing]

[laughing, indistinct chattering]

THE HUMAN BEING IS ONLY A REED,

THE MOST FEEBLE IN NATURE,
BUT THIS IS A THINKING REED

[Monika laughing]

Well, the teacher is finally here.

At last.

[coughs]

I let the kids inside
because the principal was snooping around.

But I will not be covering
for you any longer, honey.

- Thank you.
- [teacher] Oh!

And I aired out the room
since I know you like it smoke-free.

Okay, class! Time to start today's lesson.

Oh, sweet Jesus, Staś!

[chairs shuffling]

[students] Good morning, sir!

Morning, ma'am. You do know, as a teacher,
your place is at the blackboard.

And your students belong at their desks.

- Uh, my current pedagogy, uh...
- [principal] Has to be effective.

The national exam results will test

the effectiveness
of your methods, Ms. Grabarczyk.

If you fail, well,
you know what's going to happen.

[electronic pop music plays]

[engine revs]

[car horn honks]

- Hmm.
- Parade Square. Sound good?

Uh, I don't think I should get
into a random car with a stranger.

[laughs] This is a really safe car,
so there's no reason to be afraid.

This car has traction control,
blind-spot monitoring,

and warns you
if you swerve out of your lane.

[electronic pop music continues]

[car beeping]

Why is it still beeping?
I'm all buckled up.

The car knows
when the driver is distracted

and should keep his eyes on the road.

You're a joker?

[man] Joking about work?

Never.

[chuckles]

- So, do you sell cars?
- No, no, no.

I'm just a connoisseur.

[woman] So you
must already be engaged in a lot of work.

Not at the moment. How about you?

[chuckles]

I like taking it slow.

What a wonderful coincidence.
This calls for a celebration!

[laughing] Ooh!

Hey.

Alicja! You look beyond stunning!

Here comes
the author of our dumbest posts.

What posts? And why are they dumb?

Did you really just write that
Global Technics' new hardware technology

is decades old?

Yeah, because it's true.

The truth is, if they say it's new,
then we say it's new. Simple as that.

So I'm telling you
that your post will be deleted.

- Got it?
- Sweetie!

If you want to distract people with lies,
hire an actor, not an actual engineer.

Even an actor should be able
to understand the basics of marketing.

Szymon, please explain it to Stefan.

- Call me Enzo, please.
- I'm starting to lose my patience.

It's actually very simple.

Basically,
if we don't make a profit, we're done for.

And the way we make our money
is from promotions and advertising.

And that is why we're collaborating
with our advertising agency

to shoot a video
in which you play a major role.

And what exactly is my role?

- Nothing. Just be pretty.
- [chuckles]

[Szymon]
While sitting in a super set of wheels,

surrounded by super scenery
with a super girl on your arm.

- Oh!
- [Szymon] Make some of your famous faces.

And that's it.

Well, let's see this super car of yours,

and I hope the scenery
is worthy of my attention.

- [phone rings]
- Sorry.

Hello? Hey, sweetheart.

Remind me why we still work with him.

Because Enzo's a big star.

How come Enzo? Enzo's the name
of Ferrari. He's just Stefan Tkaczyk.

- Wow! I say, wow!
- Mmm.

- You look stunning in that uniform.
- [chuckles]

Oh, shut up already. Are you blind?

I'm chubby.

[chuckles] You're not chubby, Marzenka!
You're absolutely perfect.

I've got the magazines you asked me for.

[giggling]

- Thank you.
- [chuckles]

[engine revs]

[tires squeal]

- [man] Damn celebrity!
- [Enzo] I heard that!

[chuckles] After each of my shows,
your sales skyrocket.

- And the car? Clean as a whistle.
- You know the rules. This isn't your car.

You drive it around,
talk it up on the streets, online, TV,

and then you return it without a scratch.

Relax. It's just lipstick.

Ladies put it on their faces to look sexy.

- Excuse me!
- Coming!

Yes?

Could you help me?
My keys don't seem to be working.

With pleasure. [sighs]

[chuckles]

Your new toy.

[engine revs]

Love that sound!

[car door closes]

[whistles]

Mom would never let this happen.

I should bring her lilies of the valley.
They were her very favorite.

Dad, they bloom once a year!

I'm talking about
the auto shop debt right now.

Back then, they were blooming as well.

He was at a red light
when he crashed into us.

How… how come I didn't bring her
any damn lilies when she was still alive?

If you love someone,
give them all of your affection.

Always.

Always.

What if they don't love me back?

What on earth do you mean?

[chuckles] It's impossible
to not love you.

I'm being serious, Dad.

To be honest, honey,
I don't know much about love.

I know, however,
that when you meet the one person,

when it finally clicks…

[chuckles]

…then you're complete.

It happened with me and your mom.

It will happen to you too. You'll see.

Real love is always squared.

Monika, it's me again
calling you for the 16th time.

Please call me back as soon as possible.
About to have a heart attack. Bye.

Where is he?

I don't know what's up.
He's not picking up his phone.

I'm not his agent, you know.
You're the one who's in love with him.

- That wasn't very nice.
- It know it wasn't.

You know what? Let's start with Klaudia.
Enzo's still stuck in makeup.

Poor guy's got more lines than he lets on.

Klaudia will come fully prepared.
I've sent her the brief.

Is she that great?
Guess I hope she's worth the effort.

That's just her style.

Got it. See you.

[man] We're not going anywhere.

Okay.

Hi!

- [driver] How much for a quickie?
- [woman groans]

Screw you!

Hey, stop!

- I'm going to Wójtowice.
- Great.

- [woman 2] Hey! Stop!
- [woman 3] Hey!

Hey, stop!

Hey!

- [chuckles]
- [electronic music playing]

That's what I call competition!

Perks of the job.

[Enzo] I don't judge.

- Neither you nor your colleagues.
- [woman] Colleagues?

[grunts] Jesus!

[groans]

Colleagues?

You definitely picked up the wrong girl.

Stop the car.

[sighing]

[man] Finally!

- Hey!
- [man] Hey, where were you?

You have any idea what you put me through?

All right, apologize later.
Go get dressed now.

Once again, I find myself surprised that
you even managed to show up here at all.

[Enzo chuckles]

So where's this new model?

By the car, looks like a goldfish.

- That whore?
- That whoremonger?

Cut it out. Just keep smiling.

- Do you know each other?
- No.

[man] This is Klaudia.

So, you do know each other?

- No.
- No.

[man] The car stops,
and they start kissing.

Then people on stilts,
colorful boys, and lots of action.

A close-up on the logo,
rain, and we're done. Easy.

- Nobody said anything about kissing.
- Just wait.

Wait a minute!

No one said anything about kissing.

And now there's kissing. Normal addition,
last-minute changes by the client.

Why, didn't you read your contract?

Is there a problem?

A little bit.

- A little bit?
- Thanks a lot!

[man] Klaudia, wait!

Who forgot
to tell the actors about kissing?

- [man 2] No idea.
- [director] Don't know?

It was probably me. Of course It was me!

Okay, guys! Let's do it!

[electronic music plays]

Okay. And now lean in closer,
and let's go for the kiss.

- And now kiss.
- [radio clicks]

Kiss her! Do it!

[music intensifies]

That's nice.

Yeah. Yeah.

That's enough. We got it.

- [man shouting]
- [woman screams]

[man] Stop the car!

[indistinct yelling]

- [siren blaring]
- What the fuck? What the fuck is going on?

[director] Amateurs!

- You don't know how to use a brake?
- Have you never gotten out of a car?

What an amateur!

- Hey, hey. Hey!
- [Enzo] It's Enzo!

- Enzo, calm down.
- Did you see that?

No, tell me what the fuck happened.

Oh, be quiet!

[Monika laughs]

Everything just fell apart.

I just... I wanted to disappear.

[sigh] It can't have been nearly that bad.

It was.
It was exactly as bad as it sounds.

Oh, really? So it's all his fault, huh?

Who else?

Mr. Big Star. Yeah, right.

- Maybe he was a star. In preschool.
- [sighs]

I mean, he was playing with his toy cars.

- What do you have here?
- Oh, no. Hush.

Yeah, but you know, Enzo has this,

you know,
thing that makes him successful on TV.

- [cup thuds]
- [Enzo yelps]

Alicja!

Look at you!
If only you were just as quick on set.

[Enzo] That's not fair!

What's not fair? What's not fair?

This is not fair. What is this?

- Getting a little frisky, are we?
- [Enzo scoffs]

- [scoffs]
- [Enzo] Alicja.

We both agreed to an open relationship.

I didn't agree
to you banging everything that moves.

- Come on.
- Stay away!

Move back, back, back, back,
further back, further back.

- It's not what you think.
- Oh.

- You know what I think, Stefan?
- Enzo.

[Alicja] Don't make me laugh.

Do you realize you fucked up big-time?

The boss has killed
the advertising campaign…

BROTHER

- Who's that?
- No one.

I'm telling the boss it's your fault.
I'm not about to take the blame.

Even the dog has more sense than you.

Don't try to turn Willy against me, okay?

- It's William.
- I like him.

But he doesn't like you.

[growling]

Do you know why he makes
those strange growling noises?

- He's getting himself ready to attack.
- [Willy growls]

[Alicja] His grandfather caught criminals
for the chief of police.

- [growls]
- [Alicja] He's a wild, vicious animal!

- Really? Are you setting Willy on me?
- [Alicja] Any moment now…

- [Willy barks]
- [Alicja] You know what?

Pack your stuff and geh zum Teufel, now!

No. You want me to sleep at the office?

[laughs] Not at the office.

[slow guitar music plays]

[sighs]

[phone ringing]

BROTHER

- [man] Stefan?
- Well, hello, Andrzej. How are you?

[Andrzej] You won't believe what happened.
Are you sleeping?

What's up? No, I'm awake. Tell me.

[Andrzej] Kaśka has run off and left me.

That is a serious matter.

Maybe you want me to come over
to your place so we can talk in person?

[driver] So, you pissed off your old lady?

She's not that old.

[pop music plays on the radio]

- Couldn't talk yourself out of it, huh?
- [Enzo] Yeah.

I can tell you what you should have done.

Denied everything
and told her it was your evil twin.

[Enzo] Wow. [chuckles]

Now that's original.
Actually, I'm going to see my brother now.

Sadly, she took me by surprise
and found the body of evidence.

Ah, man. Bodies are the worst.

Did she bother to tell you why?

[Andrzej] She said something about leaving
to fulfill her life's greatest dream.

I thought becoming your wife and being
Ania's mother was her greatest dream.

That's what I thought,
but clearly I couldn't be more wrong.

This morning she went on a cruise
around the world on a yacht, Hamartia,

and she just left me with this!

Yeah. I remember her talking
about that yacht before.

So the opportunity came up,
and now she's alone on a cruise.

Alone? What do you mean?
The ship will be filled with men.

The boatswain, the skipper,
not to mention the sailor crew.

Men, plural? Come on.
That's not even real cheating.

It's just a meaningless summer break
or a small midlife crisis.

But she told Ania
she wanted to fulfill her lifelong dreams,

and when she comes back,
she's gonna be a new woman.

That's not insignificant.

Look on the bright side.
She's planning to come back.

In the meantime, I'll help you with Ania.

- What?
- That's right.

[Andrzej] But you hate kids.

Supposedly,
people change every seven years.

You, the party-going playboy, really want
to take care of a little kid all day?

Since when?

- You really want me to believe that?
- I could just live with you and help out.

- She kicked you out, didn't she?
- No.

Hmm.

Yeah.

Obviously, a child needs
someone to look up to.

- So?
- So I'd rather hire a nanny.

You don't know who you'll end up with.
At least you know all my flaws inside out.

Okay, you've talked me into it.
One week is all I'm gonna give you

to prove yourself
and start taking over Kaśka's chores.

- What sort of chores?
- Cleaning, washing, swimming classes.

- And school.
- She's too young for school.

Stefan, Ania started school
three years ago, okay?

[man] No, don't bring me any food.
I still have some leftovers in the fridge.

I do.

Yes, sweetie. I remember.
Eat a warm meal once a day.

Bye.

I've got the money!

I've got it. I've got it!

[metallic banging]

[Monika] My left, your right.

Good job, Kazik.

Next!

[grunts] My right, your right.

[laughs] Great!

[Enzo] My right?

- [Monika gasps, squeals]
- [Enzo] Hey!

[Monika] Hey, kids.

- [Enzo] Scram! Ah!
- Leave him alone. I fell on my own.

Hey, come on! What are you kids doing?
You little gremlins.

Uncle?

- What, you thought I was Santa?
- [Ania] Where's my mom?

Why? You don't know?

She's gone.

- Is she coming...
- Eventually, she will, I guess.

- Give me your hand.
- [sniffles]

[Monika] Ania.

Ania.

There, there.

- Look at what you've done.
- What did I even do?

- If you had kids, you'd understand.
- How do you know I don't?

Sh, sh.

- Ania. Ania!
- Go with your uncle.

Let's go.

[man] What the hell is this? And this?

[sighs]

[indistinct yelling]

[car frame crunches]

[man] What is this fucking mess?

[sighs]

I'm here, at your service.

- You look like you're wasted.
- I was not bred for family life.

You're a father?

A regimented life
is not for the faint of heart.

- [sighs] You have to train yourself.
- Honey.

I'm always in good form.

- Enzo, this is quite serious.
- Is it quite personal too?

Don't you worry.
It's not like I'm asking you to propose.

- [both laugh]
- Okay. Let me hear it then.

[exhales abruptly]

The boss changed his mind
and wants to continue the campaign.

Wow. You and me.

Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. That's right. You and me.

To be exact, with you
and our marketing department,

which means me, and with that model
and her manager's advertising agency.

- And what about the drama at Wójtowice?
- [Alicja] The drama at Wójtowice.

So, they saw the photos
and watched the videos

and picked up the emotions.

Emotions, Enzo.

They want emotions, so boom! We got it.

[jazz music playing]

Does it mean I can come back?

It means that I'm letting you
be a part of the campaign again.

And if the campaign is successful,
I'll consider taking you back.

Privately or professionally?

William!

His muscles flopped out earlier
when he jumped on his partner.

And then he tried
to walk it off on the treadmill,

but now he needs a massage.

A prime stud like him
needs to stay in shape.

On your way out,
leave the flowers in a vase.

[Willy whines]

I'm telling you,
they're offering really good money.

- [waiter] Good morning, Monika.
- I know.

Good morning!

Why won't you take the job then?

Jacek, my butt can be found
on half the posters in this town.

If the other half show me making out
with that jerk, I might just die of shame.

- [sighs]
- The principal won't like it either.

Find some other chick for that Enzo.

I won't. You're far too special,

so please just promise me
that you'll think about it.

Like most people, I have a family,
and I need to support them. Mmm?

- [woman] Hello!
- Hello!

- [Monika] Hi.
- [Jacek] Hi.

[woman] Hi.

Okay, I'm off. Just think this through.

- I promise I will.
- Boys, you be good, okay?

[boy] Okay.

- Bye.
- [woman] Bye. [laughs]

- [Monika] Bye!
- [woman] Lovely.

- [Jacek] Hello.
- [woman 2] Hello!

- [woman] Hey.
- I'm working here!

Yeah, all right. Go home.

A short skirt works every time.
Klaudia's never wrong.

Here you go.

Is this dress too long for you?
What do you think?

A matching pair of red high heels,
and you'll get your fourth baby.

[laughs]

I'd like to have a girl, you know?

Ania.

Our little princess.

Speaking of which,
that idiot is Ania's uncle.

She's my best student.

He made her cry in front
of the entire class. I don't get it.

How can someone be so stupid?

Who?

Are you even listening to me?

- Yeah.
- I'm talking about Enzo.

Enzo. You like him, don't you?

You're bonkers.

Boys, your mom went crazy.

That's why your aunt
will get you more ice cream!

[boy] We love you!

[woman] Well, hello there. Hello.

Coochie, coochie, coo. [laughs]

- Hi.
- Hi.

Excuse me.

You really don't have to hide
the truth from me anymore.

But I really don't...

I'll keep it to myself, of course,
as long as I'm able to.

Sir, it was really nerve-racking,

so I decided to give it all up.

Give up what?
Two thugs came here out of nowhere,

and they were looking for you
to collect a debt. You should understand

that those types should never enter
an establishment with children.

Of course.

[groans]

[dogs barking]

Dad!

- Drinking?
- Nope.

Mom must've been a saint
for keeping you alive.

But you should end me now, sweetie.

Kill the idiot.

- Did you pay them?
- Of course I paid them.

I mean, I paid half of it.

No, actually more than half.

And that's the good news.

And the bad?

They said it was just interest,
and they want twice as much.

What? That's more than I make in a year!

I'm very aware of that.

- Wiesiek's people?
- [dad] Mm-hmm.

I'm calling the police.

No, stop! Stop.

The boy didn't mean any harm.

He just wanted to help.
He knew I needed money.

[Monika] Yeah, right.
Did they give you a date?

One what?

- Day? Week?
- One month.

- And then what?
- [dad] Hmm.

Well, they'll take my hand

and cut off all my fingers.

[Monika] Why the fingers?

'Cause I can't count.

[Monika] Okay, doesn't matter.
I'll sort it out somehow.

Under any circumstances,
don't think about selling...

Never.

See you at Mom's, right?

And pull yourself together.

[sighs softly]

FOR MISS MONIKA

[sighs]

- [Jacek] Hey.
- This is Klaudia.

Take the job. I'm in.

[Jacek] Do you know what time it is?
Why can't you just call at a normal hour?

[phone thuds]

[engine revs]

[grunts]

[sighs deeply]

[door opens]

[footsteps approaching]

I'm here! Honey, cappuccino, please.

I'm here. Hi. [chuckles nervously]

[sighs] Sorry.

Hmm.

It's good you are here.

[laughs nervously]

Boss, we're all ears.
What's your idea for the campaign?

[inhales]

I think I just need something…

I don't know.

…fresh.

Something unique.

No, no, wait!

Your corporation is already famous
for its originality.

Miss Alicja will be the owner.
Jacek is going to be the content provider.

Sure.

The popular Enzo and the beautiful Klaudia

will be the new faces of the campaign.

In my opinion, it's brilliant.

Sure.

If I understand correctly,
we cover the project management,

and all you want
is synergy and competency, is that right?

- Entschuldigung.
- Ja?

Do you really need all of us
present in the meeting?

Exactly. You are my driving idea.

Without Klaudia,

this project management is like a car

that is basically missing
its fourth wheel.

[laughs]

[all force laugh]

BROTHER
I'M LEAVING. ANIA FINISHES AT 6

Sorry.

Miss Alicja,
I hope you know what's at stake here.

If the campaign fails,
we can no longer work together.

That's it.

[electronic pop music playing]

[engine revs]

- [laughs]
- [phone rings]

[Andrzej] Hi, Stefan, how's it going?
Did Ania do her homework?

Hmm.

- She's just finished.
- [Andrzej] Can you put her on the phone?

[engine revving up and down]

She went to the toilet.
It, uh, might take her a while.

[Andrzej] What's that noise?

I don't know. The hair dryer?

She's drying her hair, I think.

- [Andrzej] Is everything okay?
- Ugh!

- I'm not going in there.
- [Andrzej] Are you sure?

Everything's fine.
Everything's fine. It's all good.

[Andrzej] You sound strange.

Talk to you later. Bye!

[engine accelerating]

Ania!

Your favorite uncle is here!

Ania!

If I don't find you, you little brat,

your daddy is gonna kill
your favorite uncle.

Ania!

Why are you yapping like that
in the middle of the night?

We are playing hide-and-seek.

[laughs] You must be losing then.

Do you know where she is?

What? Why would I care about a shoe?

Not the shoe! Ania!

Oh, Ania.

Ania.

- Ania...
- [Enzo] Yeah?

- She came to me after school.
- And then what?

We made muffins.

- You know, the strawberry kind.
- [Enzo] Uh-huh.

She's a good kid.

Took one home for her dad.

- And one for her uncle.
- Mm-hmm.

- You know what?
- [Enzo] What?

She misses her mother very much...

I know! But where is she?

You've got a big mouth, son!

"Where is she?"

So just remember, where did you go
when you smashed your father's bike, hmm?

- To a garden block?
- The football field!

Only it's not a field anymore.
It's a parking lot now.

Thanks.

Get away from her! Right now!

Step away!

Back off!

[dog whimpers]

What are you doing?

Dude, what's wrong with you?
We're just feeding the dog.

What are you doing here?

I was just feeding the dog.
She's waiting for her mommy too.

Come on, Skippy, let's go.

You're a lucky pup.
I always have the time for my family.

Unlike you!

Stefan.

Come on.

- I found her finally. Thank you.
- There she is.

- Uncle?
- What?

So, what was going on with that guy?

Why did he call you Stefan, not Enzo?

- [woman] Ania!
- Hmm.

Were you feeding Mr. Matysiak's dog?

Yes, while I was waiting for my mom,
but she didn't come today.

[Enzo] That bum was Matysiak?

Przemek Matysiak, the nerd from my class?

[woman] Fame has gotten to your head.

You don't recognize friends.
You leave a child behind.

Honey,
my kitten has gone off somewhere again.

[clicking tongue] Robuś!

- Good night.
- Good night.

Robuś! [clicking tongue]

THE CAMPAIGN?

[gasps] What? Is Ania missing?

What do you mean missing? Why?

[scoffs]

Are you dumb? How old are you?

Probably not old enough.

She's asleep,

but she's still sad.

She could pose as an inspiration
for a painting,

"A child, a study in despair."

Kaśka's gone. It's sad,
but we can't do anything about it.

Maybe there is.

What if she got a nice little letter
from dear old mommy?

With a beautiful photo from her trip
and tons of heart drawings.

Did she get a letter like that?

- Stefan…
- Enzo.

[Monika]
Red signs move to the right! Quickly!

You're not worried about your health, huh?

I have been a smoker for 40 years,
and I'm fine.

[Monika] Move away from the zebra.

The green light is on.

What should we do? Slowly!

Staś, slow down!

Now we can cross the road. Good job!

[laughs]

Why the happy face?

Kazik Malinowski said,
"Did you see me run, miss?"

- Then he repeated it twice!
- You're totally nuts.

[laughs]

- Girls, he stopped stuttering!
- [older teacher] Oh!

If her class doesn't pass their exams,
the principal's gonna send her packing.

Personally, I think
her fancy new teaching methods suck.

Another cigarette?

Maybe green parsley juice,
water, and jogging

are good for your health,

but it's not good enough
to calm my nerves,

not at this school at least.
That's for sure.

I really need a smoke.

- [Monika] And cheese!
- [students] Cheese!

Whoo!

- Monika Grabarczyk?
- Can you stop shouting like that?

The entire building can hear you.

Why? Are you ashamed of your name?
My name is Młot.

Nice to meet you, Mr. Młot,
but can you be a little more discrete?

[whispers] Here you go, Ms. Grabarczyk.

[Młot] Mr. Tkaczyk, your pass!

[Monika grunts]

What? You didn't hear about ID theft?

Hmm.

["I'm Having Fun And I Like It"
by Duncan Townsend playing]

[Enzo] Oops.

♪ You're one of a kind… ♪

If you wanna go up,
you should take the other elevator.

Elevators are for wusses.

♪ Let go of your mind… ♪

[Enzo] Tough guys use stairs, right?

Why don't you carry me up, tough guy?

Since my heel broke.

I noticed.

Sprinting in heels,
it should be in the Olympics.

- [grunts]
- [Monika squeals]

♪ I'm having fun, and I like it ♪

♪ I'm gonna do what I want to ♪

- ♪ I'm having fun, and I like it… ♪
- You have blue eyes.

Rare for a brunette.

[scoffs] You must know a lot of brunettes.

Well, it's true. I do like women.

But, you know, being a heartbreaker
is not a full-time job for me.

You can "like" pureed potatoes, not women.

I like that as well,

but do you know what I like the most?

When a girl believes in love,
because I do.

Yeah, but I don't believe you.

[laughs]

Listen, we only have an hour left.
We have to come up with something.

[Alicja] Yeah.

One hour sounds extremely optimistic.
We've only been locked up in here for 16.

Can't we just do it
like a typical car commercial?

A car is driving,
horses are running, and it's raining.

Clouds, hubcaps, click, click. Done.

[Alicja] Eine moment.
We've been through this already.

Remember that the boss said,

"The concept has to stem
from Enzo's emotions

and of his partner here"?

Yes, but I honestly don't know
how to do that.

Neither do I. [sighs]

Hold on.

Four slogans, like four traffic signs.

Infatuation,

desire, envy,

and love.

Hmm.

Plus a final event,
and wham, bam, we got it!

Who wants tacos?

[Enzo grunts]

You can't put dishes in like that,
you moron. They'll end up dirty.

- Stefan.
- [sighs]

Take care of it.

- Hmm.
- [Ania] Uncle!

You remember about the tickets
for Children's Day?

Of course, of course.
You're gonna have lots of fun.

Hey, look. You've got mail.

[Ania] Wow! What a pretty bird.

It has blue legs!

Uncle, come here and look
at what Mom just sent me from her trip.

You know,
I can print it out in color for you.

Okay, do it. I'll show it to my teacher.

[Enzo] Hmm.

[footsteps receding]

Dad, so, what do these birds eat?

They are aquatic birds, so they eat fish.

But what if they were allergic to fish
like I am? What would they eat then?

Birds don't have allergies.

But what if they did?

They would probably eat bugs,
Miss Smarty-Pants.

I'm taking you to a real film set.
You'll see a movie in the making.

- May I?
- Mm-hmm.

Just keep your eye on her the whole time!
- [Enzo] Yeah, yeah!

[man] Okay, we're holding for sound.

[electronic pop music playing]

Hey, Steve.

Okay. This is where the magic happens.

These lights…

That's my student. She'll recognize me.

Don't panic. Keep your distance.

Go and hide.

[Enzo] Come on.
I'll introduce you to everybody.

- Hey.
- [Jacek] Hey.

That lady looks like a princess.

Exactly.
That's what we want people to think.

That princess is a bit shaky.

This is Ania, my niece.
Don't worry. She won't get in the way.

Ania, shouldn't you be off
making puppets in preschool?

I'm actually in third grade, not pre-K.

Do third-graders still eat ice cream?

- Yes!
- Come along then, my third-grader.

- Thank you.
- This way.

- It says the horn is broken.
- [pop music playing]

And that's the reason why it won't start?

[sighs] What can you do?

It's the 21st century.

Technology triumphs
over reason and common sense.

Boss,

- I was thinking…
- What?

- We could have a drink.
- Wiesiek, you are at work.

[Wiesiek] I mean,
after work, let's get a drink,

have a chat, mechanic to mechanic.

I have a good friend
that gives really good short-term loans.

I'll do anything for you, boss.

Wiesiek, you got me a loan once.
All I got from it was misery.

How about you sell that car of yours?

You have to pay off your debt,
and I have a good buyer.

No way.

My father drove it
to his wedding, so did I,

and Monika will drive it to hers.

Hmm.

Wait. Speaking of Monika…

Monika?

[Monika] I told you, Dad.
I'm doing extra hours in the common room.

- [dad] But Wiesiek said that…
- You have a wild imagination.

- [thuds]
- Ooh! Okay, I… I have to go.

[groans]

Are you planning to go fishing today?

No, I have a math class in a minute.

- That explains the fishing rod.
- That's right.

I'm warning you for the very last time.
This is a school.

You basically act
as if you're on a trip to the playground,

but the upcoming exams

will expose your methods.

[footsteps receding]

[Enzo] Go to sleep.

- Wait, Uncle!
- [Enzo] What?

- Can you please tell me a story?
- [Enzo] Aren't you a bit too old for that?

Grown-ups like stories too.

I guess you're right.

Okay, then.

A long, long time ago,

back when all cars used to run on gas, uh,

there was

a beautiful princess,

and she ignored a no-entry sign

and drove her awesome convertible
into the dark forest.

And then? So, what happened next?

In the forest, the very, very dark forest,

there lived a witch,

and this witch used a spell
to conjure up ice cream!

Witches hate princesses, you know?

Of course they do.
Because it was magic ice cream.

The princess ate it all and fell asleep.

Then the witch got into her car
and drove off to go fishing!

Forgot you didn't like fish.

I don't. What about you?
What's something you really like?

Really, really fast cars.

- Does everything have to be fast with you?
- [groans]

That's who I am.

But I thought that,
when you move too fast,

you end up
not noticing the things around you.

You know, they say
children are better seen than heard.

- Uncle?
- What?

You don't like me either.

There is this one little princess

that is smarter
than all the adults I know.

[chuckles softly]

And she is very beautiful
and very brave too.

- Go to sleep, or I'll squash you!
- [giggles]

- Uncle?
- [Enzo] What?

Hey, learn to tell
better stories if you can.

I'll do that tomorrow.

- Uncle?
- What is it now?

Will you turn off the light?

Of course, sweetie.

Good night.

CHILDREN'S DAY
BUY TICKETS

PARENTS' MEETINGS ON TUESDAYS

[footsteps approaching]

- Hey, Uncle.
- What?

Uncle.

Okay. I'm up now. I remember.

Don't worry.
I'll just make some breakfast.

Two minutes, and I'm ready.

I'm almost ready.

[sighs]

[brushing teeth]

Get on the bus, chop-chop.

What are you… what are you doing?

Get on. Not here!

Good morning.

Ah, in the nick of time!
I thought you fu... fudged up.

- [laughs]
- Do you have the tickets?

You were supposed to buy them.

It's Children's Day. Without the tickets,
we're not going anywhere.

- I forgot.
- [bus horn honks]

[driver] All aboard!

My bad. I trusted an irresponsible adult
with an important task.

Kids, back to the yard. We'll play there.

- [kids groaning]
- Thanks.

- Come on, let's not waste time.
- [engine starts]

This is Enzo.

I need a favor.

The carriage has arrived!

Come on, let's go!

[Monika] Move along quickly!

What's he getting so excited for?

He prefers cars over kids.

Everybody would. They're so much cooler.

- [rooster crowing]
- [hens clucking]

I was back there,
and I saw a cow getting milked.

You've never seen where milk comes from?

Milk? That comes from the fridge.

[Enzo] And it pecks! [laughing]

[mimicking clucking]

- [kids laughing]
- [Enzo grunts]

My wing! Oh, I broke my wing!

[laughing]

[mimicking clucking]

They're gonna kill me!

[both laughing]

Laughter always works.

Mmm.

[sighs]

- Sir, you have…
- What?

- You have milk under your nose, sir.
- Oh!

- Wait.
- Mmm. Delicious!

Aw, thank you, but now I'd like some…

Pureed potatoes?

Yes! Yes! You're reading my mind, miss.

Mmm!

Why are we so formal all the time?

- Let's drink bruderschaft! Enzo.
- Whoa! We don't know each other that well.

Okay, let's get to know each other then.
Let's do it

since you've known my beloved niece
for quite a few years. Please?

- Okay, then.
- Great!

- [insect buzzing]
- Whoo! [laughs]

Hmm.

Ania hasn't had this much fun
in a long time.

Will her mother be back soon?

She'll be back when she's back.
Not yet, though.

- It's good that she has you.
- Well, she has her father.

He wasn't the one
who brought her here today.

[chuckles] I'm doing my best.

[both laugh]

[clucking]

Super cool chickens.

No chickens in Warsaw.

Sure, we do, in the shops.

But in the stores,
they're always dead and naked.

And what do they eat?

- Is it good?
- Try it. Here.

[wheezing]

Miss Grabarczyk!
Miss Grabarczyk! Ania's dying!

What happened?

- What happened? What did you do?
- Move back! Move!

Ania, I'm here.

[zipper unzips]

[Monika] Done.

Here you go.

Easy.

Easy. Breathe.

Breathe. Breathe.

Breathe.

Are you feeling better now? Try to sit up.

Slowly.

What did you eat?

I just tried the bird food.

There must be fish meal in the bird food.

You're okay now.

[exhales]

- Whoo-hoo! Whoo!
- [grunts]

- [laughs]
- Whoo!

- Harder!
- Harder? Here it comes.

- Whoo!
- [grunts, sighs]

If I had the money, I would buy this farm

and bring the kids here every week!

I can't say a farm would be
at the top of my list

if I ever had money.

- [grunts]
- Whoo!

[Enzo laughs]

- Catch me!
- I've got you!

- [Monika squeals]
- [laughs]

I've got you! [groans]

[Monika] Aren't you rich?

[Enzo] Wait, give me your leg.
Why would you think that?

[Monika] I don't know.

They don't pay you
in that luxurious world of yours?

Luxurious world?

They do,
but you know how it is with money.

I wanted to buy a vintage car,

but I've been saving up
the money since forever.

- [both laugh]
- My dad has the same problem.

- [groans] Tell me.
- Yeah?

Does a guy
who saves up money his entire life

have a shot with a luxurious girl?

What kind of girl?

Like a supermodel that turns heads
and who happens to be smart as well.

Smart too? A real catch. [chuckles]

- Do you like her?
- I do, but she doesn't like me.

- Then forget about her.
- Are you crazy? How can I?

I don't know. Try to impress her then.

Okay, but how?

I don't know. You're the expert in women.

[chuckles] Hmm.

Please, you want me to teach a playboy
how to pick up girls?

Who are you, huh?

Really?

A teacher, am I wrong?

[both laugh]

- Yeah, you're right.
- [Enzo] Yep.

- All right, wait up.
- What?

[Monika clears throat]

[Enzo sighs, chuckles]

- First of all, you pick the right music.
- [Enzo] Mm-hmm.

With sweet lyrics.

["Cucurrucucú Paloma" playing]

♪ Cucurrucucú ♪

♪ Cucurrucucú ♪

♪ Paloma… ♪

[Monika] Secondly, flowers.

Roses, preferably red.

Thirdly, fancy food.

Preferably French cuisine.

And champagne,

lots of champagne.

[Monika laughs]

All the cliché tricks.

Where's the real music?

- I thought that you, uh...
- It's bad when people think too much.

Is there something else
that impresses you?

Anything?
I'm asking just out of curiosity.

Sixty miles in four seconds.

- A speed like that can kill you.
- Yes, it can.

If you don't know how to drive properly.

How about a ride, huh?

I haven't driven this one yet, but sure.

- But, uh…
- [laughs]

…you need to, uh, push the clutch hard.

[panting nervously]

[grunts]

Do you need me to pull out?

[engine roars]

[electronic music playing]

[motorcycle engine revving]

[tires squealing]

[chuckles]

Trust me.

[chuckles]

- [grunts]
- Oh no!

- I'm sorry, are you okay?
- No, I'm fine.

- Straight in there.
- Mmm.

[Enzo groans]

[Monika giggles]

[Enzo sighs]

- You're kidding me!
- [laughs]

- [gasps]
- All the parts are original.

I mean, of course,
except the tires and the battery.

Does, uh… does it

drive?

Wanna try it out?

May I?

- No! [laughing]
- Ah!

The owner's afraid
somebody might steal it.

[chuckles]

I didn't expect that you would…

Expect what?

Anything I say now
will come out just silly.

Then say nothing.

[romantic music playing]

And we've got it! Nice! Let's do one more!

They're doing great,
as if they were practicing.

She's really leeching onto him.
Isn't the take a bit too long?

They need some time
to get the emotion right.

Don't slack off. Let's go!
It's getting dark! Let's do this!

Yeah, do another one.

Did something change between them?

There's chemistry between them.
They must be hooking up.

Aha.

[chuckles] Mmm.

[sighs]

Ugh.

Everything okay?

[muttering] Mmm.

Don't worry about it. Got any gum?

- Um, give me a moment.
- [whispers] Jesus Christ.

[exhales]

Supposedly, you are meant to stop vomiting
in the second trimester.

Oh my God,

but at this rate, I'm not even sure
I can manage to make it that far.

Jesus Christ!

I don't worry too much about it, though.

When I look at Enzo, I see
that he has a strong paternal instinct.

- [whispers] Yeah.
- Yeah.

[romantic music continues]

- [door opens]
- Congrats to you both.

[door shuts]

♪ And I received ♪

♪ A message in a bottle ♪

♪ Told me I should be ♪

♪ That I should be ♪

♪ Free ♪

As a last resort, we can always sell it.
Wiesiek has a good buyer.

- He pays in cash.
- We're not going to sell it.

And you get back to work.
The client is waiting.

[glass squeaking]

What exactly did he do to you?

The bank gave me a loan.

- We'll have money by Friday.
- That's great!

In that case,
the car is yours as your dowry.

It keeps growing in value year by year.
Usually, it's the other way around.

I don't see
any good candidates for a husband.

Perhaps you're just a bit too picky?

I just don't want him to sleep around.
Is that too much?

Men often sleep
with the women they don't really love.

Luckily,
marriage is not an obligation, right?

Do you know why men get married? [laughs]

Because bachelors
are miserable everywhere...

Husbands are just miserable at home.

Mom always laughed at your jokes.

[car door opens]

I see you're not in the mood for laughs.

There's nothing to laugh at.

[dad] Don't worry.

Mom is looking down right now,
making sure you'll find the right person.

[chuckles]

[dogs barking]

Let's have a little chat. [grunts]

And drink some wine together?

- I'm in a hurry, and I don't drink wine.
- Oh, yes, you do. It pays off, doesn't it?

I get it.
I'm not worth it to you. [chuckles]

You don't understand anything.

Keep your dirty hands off me,
or I'll kick you out of the shop.

Should I tell your daddy
how his baby girl earns a living?

- It's just a job.
- Don't make me laugh.

Give me a cut, and I'll keep quiet.

I'll be as silent as a grave. Ten grand?

You can always trust a mechanic!

No farewell kiss?

You can kiss my ass.

[breathing rhythmically]

- Uncle, you got better.
- At what exactly?

At making pancakes.

Those are crepes,
and that was a long time ago.

Yeah, a long while. Nine days ago.

- You counted that fast.
- [Ania] It was easy.

- It always takes me a while.
- Because my teacher didn't teach you.

- Still swimming?
- Mm-hmm.

Ms. Grabarczyk said
you don't need to come.

Staś's dad will be there.

Is she mad at me or something?

She never gets mad.
She just talks with you and explains.

Who's mad at you?

Ania! You've got a new email.

- From Mommy?
- Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

[Andrzej] The email

is almost here, isn't it?

Oh, and I checked.

Birds don't get allergies.

- Is it here yet?
- Can you please chill out? It's coming.

- [key clicks]
- [email chimes]

- Here it is.
- [laughs]

What a pretty kangaroo!

But how did Mom
get all the way to Australia.

She was just in the Philippines.

Exactly. How? Tell us.

She's in New Guinea. They have kangaroos
there as well. Everybody knows that.

Yes, and like a kangaroo,
you'll hop to your room

and do your homework
right now, young lady.

Is Uncle Enzo's ex-girlfriend sailing
with Mommy?

- [chuckles nervously]
- And why is she naked?

Doesn't she get shy?

Crepes? Anyone want?

[phone chiming, vibrating]

[woman] Enzo's calling. Pick up!

5 MISSED CALLS

Call him back and talk.

If not now, call him later.

I'm good, thanks.

Oh, come on.
Maybe he didn't even know she's pregnant.

That doesn't change a thing.
He should have known.

It does! It changes everything.
If he didn't know, he didn't lie to you.

It doesn't change the fact
I slept with the totally wrong guy for me.

[laughs] Big deal. It happens.

Even in a good family with a piano.

I mean,

that they

listen to classical music… Never mind!

- I thought he was the one.
- Before or after?

If I had doubts before,
there'd be no after.

[laughs]

[kids squealing]

[Enzo] Hey!

[chuckles] Hi! High five! Ah, my arm!

- Oh, let me help. Let me help.
- Thanks, but I'll manage on my own.

That I don't doubt,
but your, um, methods didn't work for me.

The ones for impressing the girl.

Maybe she wasn't as dumb as you thought.

I would appreciate if you could make sure
Ania is well-rested on Thursday.

- We're taking a very important test.
- Of course.

Why are you so grumpy? Are you mad at me?

Absolutely not. Excuse me, I'm in a hurry.

- But it's just a dress rehearsal.
- Sure.

- The show will be great.
- You know what?

- I'll talk this through with Alicja...
- You really shouldn't.

Alicja is very organized
and doesn't take kindly to change.

- What?
- Please choose your words very carefully.

Yeah. Sure.

Listen,
what we're doing here is bad, right?

[Alicja] Mmm.

- I think we've lost objective distance.
- Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Maybe we should an opinion poll?

- Oh, come on, are you serious? Now?
- Yeah.

It's the damn dress rehearsal.

- I need another drink.
- What?

["My Heart Goes Boom" by Miss Li playing]

♪ I don't need no doctor treating me ♪

♪ No, no, no ♪

♪ I don't need no pills or therapy ♪

♪ No, no, no ♪

♪ Freud might work for some ♪

♪ But that just ain't for me ♪

♪ I don't need no shrink ♪

♪ If you're just coming back to me ♪

♪ 'Cause when I'm with you, baby ♪

- ♪ I'm feeling less confused ♪
- [phone line ringing]

♪ And my heart goes boom, boom, boom ♪

♪ And my heart goes boom, boom, boom ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ I don't need to cross the seven seas
No, no, no… ♪

- Do you live here?
- What's that?

- I need your help. A child is in danger!
- What? What do you mean?

- A child, a student.
- Okay, but what child?

Miss…

[breathing heavily]

This plain-looking girl. No heels.
She wears glasses. She's a teacher.

She lives here somewhere.
I really need to find her.

Ah, the mousy one!

- Yeah, there's a girl like that.
- Yes?

One lives on the fourth floor, unit D.

The other one's
on the second floor, unit C.

- Yes?
- Yes.

Okay, thank you.

- You should start with unit D.
- Unit D. Okay, got it. Thank you.

- You're welcome.
- Unit D.

- Unit D.
- ♪ I don't need a lot ♪

♪ Boom, boom, boom ♪

♪ 'Cause when I'm with you, baby ♪

♪ I'm feeling less confused ♪

♪ All I ever want to do
Is to lay here next to you ♪

♪ When I´m with you, baby
My whole world starts to bloom ♪

LAST CALLS
MS. ZOFIA CLASS III C

♪ All I ever want to do
Is to spend my time on you ♪

♪ And my heart goes boom, boom, boom ♪

♪ And my heart goes boom, boom, boom ♪

♪ And my heart goes boom, boom, boom ♪

[music fades]

Hey.

Hey.

- Klaudia's not here. Warum?
- Don't worry.

Something must've held her up.
I'm sure she's on her way.

What could possibly be more important
for our little Miss Klaudia

than being right here
at the dress rehearsal?

Maybe something happened.
An accident perhaps?

Yeah,
maybe it was an accident in her crotch.

I see.
The boss not only likes fresh ideas,

but he also likes fresh everything.

I wonder how they get over
their significant age difference?

- It must've been his personality.
- [Alicja] Or the income difference.

What's it called? Sponsoring.

Maybe it's his…

She could be his niece.

- Ooh.
- [laughs]

I've heard
our dear Klaudia has some uncles too.

I've heard that uncle of hers
takes her traveling all over the world.

- Oh!
- [Szymon] Where can I find one like that?

I'll tell you where. Lingerie shows.

Klaudia has never taken part
in public shows.

But I'd say she must definitely do
private ones. That's for certain.

Kazik, it's me, your dad!

Open the door!

- Kazik!
- [Kazik] I'm not coming out.

[sighs]

I'm his dad.

My wife asked me to pick him up,
but he doesn't wanna leave.

[sighs]

I've never laid a finger on him!

[knocking on door]

Kazik, you wanted to talk to me?

It's hard talking through the door.
You mind if I come in?

[lock clicks]

You can come in,
but Dad has to stay outside.

Okay.

- I can't leave now.
- Why's that?

Everyone will laugh at me,
and Dad will call me a wuss.

What happened?

Łukasz from fifth grade
spilled juice all over me

and told everyone that I wet my pants.

So, what am I supposed to do now?

I've got an idea.

We'll dress you up as Aladdin.

[chuckles]

Aladdin?
You're not messing with me, are you?

Maybe a little.

[chuckles] Come.

- ["Perfect Combination" by Hael plays]
- ♪ You and I ♪

♪ We go together like sun and sky ♪

♪ We go together
Like a pocket and money ♪

♪ A bee and the honey ♪

♪ I just wanna show you off ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo ♪

♪ Just a little bit of this
And a little bit of that ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo
Just a little bit of… ♪

Let's go. Follow me.

Bravo, bravo. Good.
So, doesn't anyone know where's Klaudia?

Klaudia apologizes
and says she'll be here soon.

Mmm. This is unbelievable.

She's such an amateur,
I can't even deal with it.

This kind of behavior
is so unprofessional.

I'm sure she had a good reason.

She's ruining the rehearsal
of an event with life-or-death stakes,

life-or-death stakes.
Your life, my dear, as well.

- You are being delusional.
- Okay, can we start?

- Okay, sure.
- Andrzej, start rolling.

♪ Me and you ♪

♪ We go together like a beat and groove ♪

♪ We go together like a party in summer ♪

♪ You know that we gonna ♪

♪ Make everyone turn their heads ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo ♪

- ♪ Just a little bit of this… ♪
- [all applaud, laugh]

We need to make the kiss shorter.

Did Alicja get mad at you because
she found out you kissed Miss Monika?

[laughs] No.

Alicja isn't mad at me at all,

and that is Klaudia up there.

No! That's Miss Monika,
and she's dressed up as Klaudia.

I don't know
why you think Klaudia is prettier.

- You are a very confused little girl.
- Uncle, I'm not confused at all.

This bird really has blue legs,

and that girl was clearly Miss Monika
dressed up as Klaudia.

- We're done here.
- [loud music plays in headphones]

No.

♪ I look good on you
And you look good on me, me ♪

♪ I look good on you
And you look good on me, me ♪

♪ I look good on you… ♪

Everything's gonna be fine.
Everything's gonna be fine.

- [whimpering]
- You got this.

Never.

I will kill myself before I let him cheat
on me with someone like you! [grunts]

- Alicja!
- [Monika] Ah!

- [Alicja] Ah!
- Hey, hey! Klaudia, Klaudia, let her go!

- [screams] Ah!
- [Monika groans]

- [Szymon] Take her away!
- [Jacek] Take your girl too. Let go!

You broke my arm, you bitch! [cries]

[Jacek] Let go!

[Monika] Touch my hair again,
and I'll break both your arms!

What are you doing? Come on, chill.

- [man] The stress got to her.
- [waiter] Excuse me.

- [Jacek] Yes?
- Can someone please pay the bill?

She drank half a liter of gin.

- [Jacek] Please.
- I did drink it. So what?

I'm a damn adult.
I's not like I'm pregnant,

so I can drink and drink
and drink as much as I want.

Please, pay the bill.

Alicja, bitte. Was machst du. Stop!

Halt die Klappe!

- Alicja! Alicja!
- [grunting]

Alicja, what's wrong with you?

- Help me.
- And you are gone.

- Done. Gone!
- Chill. Calm down.

- [Alicja whines] I want to go home!
- She's not pregnant?

Alicja pregnant? No. No way. Come on.

- Have you seen Klaudia?
- I think she left.

- By herself?
- Why?

Nothing. I just wanted to, uh,
make sure that, uh, she's all right.

Pretty chicks are like snakes, you know?

If they want to, they wiggle away.

[mimicking snake slithering]

Uh-huh.

Huh.

KLAUDIA AT CAFE BISTRO
TALK ABOUT MONEY, 10:00

Thanks! [chuckles]

- Good morning, Monika, what can I get you?
- Ice cream, ice cream, ice cream.

- Three scoops?
- Three servings.

You can't eat all of that by yourself.

- [laughs] Wanna bet me?
- What's the wager?

- Fourth serving.
- Deal.

[chuckles]

- [sighs]
- Hey.

What are you doing here?

Just waiting for happiness. And you?

- Same.
- Hmm.

Oh, and here it comes. [giggles]

- [laughs] Of course.
- Thank you.

- Hi!
- Hey.

- [Enzo] Hey! What a coincidence! Welcome!
- [Jacek] Hi.

- I have an appointment with Klaudia.
- [Enzo] Oh.

- [Jacek] We were gonna sign the contract.
- [Enzo] Yeah?

[phone chimes]

[clears throat]
Guess our meeting was canceled.

- She's not coming. Doesn't matter.
- Hmm.

- [Jacek chuckles] I ought to be going.
- Wait up. Hold on a second. Don't go.

Monika. Monika.

Let me introduce you. This is Jacek.

- Best adman in town.
- Nice to meet you.

Monika Grabarczyk.

Look at you. You must be a model!

Surprisingly, no. She teaches Ania,
who I raise with Andrzej.

- You and Andrzej?
- My brother!

- No, he's my brother...
- Kidding! Relax. It's the 21st century.

It's not a big deal anymore.
You don't have to explain yourself.

Klaudia's not here,
so I better get going. See ya.

- Bye.
- See you.

- May I?
- Why not?

Hmm. [chuckles]

[chuckles softly]

Well, here you go,
fourth serving on the house.

- Thank you.
- I cannot believe my eyes. [laughs]

But, uh…

Now, tell me if you need help with that.

- Mmm.
- Okay, okay.

[inhales] My jacket.

Be happy you're not a model.
You wouldn't be able to eat as much.

Why? You think all teachers are fat?

- Yeah, especially you.
- [giggles]

You caught Jacek's eye,
and he's an expert.

Have you ever considered
taking a shot at working

in my god-awful industry?

To learn in a few years
that I'm too old and not needed anymore?

But, despite that,
every girl wants to be a model.

Not all girls.

And how about you?
Who did you wanna become?

- A teacher.
- No.

Really. I taught younger kids how to read.

Hmm.

Wow.

And what did you want to be?

I had so many notebooks
that I filled with car stickers.

I wanted to drive them,
maybe even race them.

- See?
- Hmm.

We have followed our dreams.

- [Enzo] Hmm.
- [laughs]

I have one more.

Meaning?

A walk in the rain.

[laughs]

[spoon clinks]

["Raspberry Love"
by The Majority Says playing]

- [thunder rumbles]
- ♪ Oh, how ♪

♪ How he tries to make me smile ♪

♪ Can I do to make it stop? ♪

♪ In your raspberry love ♪

♪ You are driving my mind away ♪

♪ You are spinning my heart
You are driving my mind away ♪

♪ You are driving my mind away ♪

♪ With your raspberry love ♪

♪ You are driving my mind away
And with a ready-made kiss… ♪

[music fades]

You sure you don't want a ride home?

Not worth it.
I have a bus stop next to my building.

[Enzo sighs]

I had no idea that things were so dire
that they were considering

shutting down your school.

That's the worst-case scenario.

If the exams don't go too well…

[sighs]

…they'll just kick me out.

Oh,

but it seems
like Ania's gonna do okay, right?

Hmm. I don't know.

I'm kidding! She's great.

[chuckles]

But we need to remember
she's going through a tough time,

and she might choke up from the pressure.

[rain pattering]

So what will happen tomorrow?

[chuckles softly]

It's gonna be fine.

You are just amazing.

[laughs]

You're not scared of anything?

Now I know why the kids are
so crazy about you. You're fearless.

You might be right.

Childish men always went crazy for me.

You're right. You are right.
I'm pretty childish.

What?

[sighs]

I'm pretty childish.

Very childish.

- But you're not crazy about me.
- Who told you that?

♪ You are spinning my heart
You are driving my mind away ♪

♪ With your raspberry love ♪

♪ You are driving my mind away ♪

♪ And with a ready-made kiss
You were pleading my heart to stay ♪

♪ You are driving my mind away ♪

- [both laugh]
- ♪ With your raspberry love ♪

♪ You are driving my mind away ♪

♪ You are spinning my heart
You are driving my mind away ♪

♪ You are driving my mind away ♪

♪ With your raspberry love ♪

[sighs]

♪ And with a ready-made kiss
You were pleading my heart to stay ♪

Yeah! Whoo!

You'll do great, Kazik.

Ania.

Come here.

It'll be all right.

Everybody's keeping their fingers crossed.

Your dad, your uncle,
and your mother too.

Run along.

[principal] My dear,
judgment day has come.

The exam results will determine
your future in my school.

[chuckles] Excuse me.

[kids chattering]

[door slams]

[sighs]

Have you seen my…

Here it is. Who's that?

Don't you know anything?
It's Ania's homeroom teacher.

Ah, Ania mentioned her teacher was
just as pretty as her mom,

and apparently she was right.

And she's a good teacher.
Ania finished the test first

and said it was easy.

And what do you think about, uh…

[clicks]

…about this lady?

She looks like a heartbreaker, like Kaśka.

Her body just screams,
"Look at me! I'm pretty!" You know?

Don't compare every girl to Kaśka!
She's a model.

She has to be pretty. That's her job.

And privately?
Is she also stuck-up like that?

- I can't figure her out.
- [Andrzej] You?

Such an expert on women?

- Maybe she has a different guy.
- No.

- No?
- No.

- Then you're just jealous, brother.
- [Enzo] I've never been jealous!

It's good for monogamists.

But just take a look at her.

Look.

And I'm beginning
to like this one as well.

[Andrzej] Hmm.

Can't you simply just choose one?

They almost look the same.
Wouldn't you agree?

Look, similar proportions,
almost perfect face symmetry.

- Size and the position of their eyes.
- [Enzo] Spoken like a true architect.

And you speak like a common guy,
not an engineer.

[Enzo] I feel weird
when I'm in your office.

You look like our dad,
and you sound like him.

- And you act like him too.
- Thank you.

- Which one?
- [Andrzej] Burgundy.

Black one.

Really? I thought you
were gonna choose the other.

Look. They both are perfect
with black and burgundy as well.

They're beautiful. Thank you.

- [Enzo] What's wrong? Why so gloomy?
- [sighs]

- Kaśka wrote to me.
- Hmm.

She said it was all a mistake.
She's coming back.

She misses us.

- Isn't that really good news?
- [Andrzej] Maybe for you.

I'm not like you two.

What the hell was that? A pause in life?

Maybe she shouldn't have left
her daughter, but Ania was under our care.

Jesus! If I thought
she was with another guy…

But she didn't cheat on you!
She was tired of toiling away at home.

She just needed a breather.
Come on, don't be a crybaby.

Stand up, for crying out loud!

Since when are you so understanding?

I've been through all of it!

Laundry, school trips, and swimming pools.
It takes a hero to deal with all that.

- Yeah, but to leave like that.
- She's always been a free spirit.

You locked a wild bird in a cage
and are surprised it took off.

Just be happy she's coming back.

So suddenly?

[upbeat music playing]

[indistinct chattering]

[announcer]
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening.

Tonight we celebrate aesthetics
in all its splendid incarnations.

Welcome to Beauty Squared.

[dramatic music playing]

[applauding]

[announcer] Please welcome
the protagonists of our love story.

[indistinct chattering, cheering]

Where the hell did you take me?

You'll see in a minute, boss.

If I'm right, get ready to flip out.
Just wait and see.

Mmm.

[applauding, cheering]

[announcer] The mysterious Klaudia

and the one-of-a-kind Enzo.

[cameras clicking]

Wiesiek, I don't have time for this.

I've got some governmental stuff
to sort out.

Oh, give me a break.
You're just sayin' that

'cause you've never seen
a set of wheels like that.

Look!

I would like to indulge you
with a true story,

one which would normally
never come to pass

if it wasn't for this mystery.

[applauding, whooping]

[romantic music playing]

- [applauding]
- [music continues]

[upbeat music playing]

[applauding]

Ladies and gentlemen!

Ladies and gentlemen!
Ladies and gentlemen!

You will never believe what happened next!

- But that's a story for another time.
- [coughing, choking]

[director] Ania! Ania! Ania!

Help me, come on!

[Enzo] Medic! Medic, quick!

I need the adrenaline!
Come on, give it to me!

[Ania crying]

Take it easy.

[moaning]

[wheezing]

[Monika] Sh, sh.

Sh, sh, sh, sh.

It's okay.

Sh, sh.

It's okay.

[camera clicking]

My little daughter!

Yeah, so now we see how Monika,
your sweet little teacher,

really makes her money, hmm?

Prancing around
and showing her ass off. [grunting]

You are an idiot.

Don't you get it? She did it all for me.
She was trying to help me!

Wiesiek, you know what?

You are a real scumbag.

- [grunts]
- [people murmuring]

[groans]

And that was
for spreading lies about my daughter.

- [camera clicks]
- [dramatic music playing]

What a principal, huh? My ass.

He gave a TV interview the other day.
He's a media presence now.

- Ah…
- Mmm.

And now, all of a sudden,

these damn scumbags will prey
on poor Monika, won't they?

I told you she would end badly, didn't I?

This is not even
about nude photo shoots, right?

You know what I say? It's never
a bad excuse to get rid of a rebel. Hmm.

[principal] My dear colleagues,

the school board conducted a review
which resulted in the decision

to terminate the employment
of Ms. Monika Grabarczyk

starting next year.

Wait a moment!

Do you think that this is fair, do you?

- Come on, don't smoke now!
- Ugh!

[upbeat pop music playing]

[Willy groaning]

[barking]

[sighs]

I'm really angry.

Dad, I had good intentions.

It turned out wrong,
but the debt has been paid.

I'm not angry at you.
I'm angry at myself that I let it happen.

I've burdened you with my problems.

A family must help each other...

- Ow.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

It's not true. It's just not true.

A father should protect his child,
not put them in danger. I'm sorry.

I should've figured it out a lot earlier.

You didn't stand a chance, did you?

Why's that?

'Cause you're naive like a baby

with a big heart, and that's why
those bastards took advantage of you.

They'll terrorize you
and drag you through the mud.

[chuckles] Dad, I don't regret a thing.
I had a lot of fun.

Don't even try to make me feel better.

Do you know how big I was?

[both laugh]

But you're always so careful
when it comes to men.

I am, but Klaudia isn't.

Klaudia? Oh, Klaudia!

Poor thing. Ugh.

- My dear, don't cry.
- I'm not.

You are.

I was supposed to start
the new semester with algebra,

and now I've been put to shame.

Shame? When you dress up like that,
you look awesome!

That's great.

But why do the kids have to suffer
because of me?

- What were you thinking?
- What's your problem?

I was just saying she looks good.

Shut up! Just leave her alone.

Calm down. Be optimistic.
Nothing is set in stone yet.

Ha! The parents are talking
to the principal right now.

Hey, check out what's happening!

[indistinct chattering]

Oh my! [laughs]

You see that?

- [chanting] Miss Monika! Miss Monika…
- Just take a look!

- [chanting] Miss Monika! Miss Monika…
- [older teacher laughs]

Let's join them!

[kids continue chanting]

Come on, Miss Monika!
Come on, Miss Monika!

[older teacher] Oh my!
Now I need a smoke to calm my nerves.

There she goes again! Don't do it!

- I ran out.
- Good! So, let it go!

Eat a candy bar instead.

- [woman] The best specialist gone!
- [chattering]

Let me get this...
Hold on! What you're saying is

you want to file a complaint
to us about Ms. Grabarczyk?

No, we don't, sir.
I'm the father of Kazik.

- I remember.
- [woman] Mm-hmm.

Listen to me. Thanks to Ms. Grabarczyk,
my son stopped stuttering.

And she saved my daughter's life.

- We just don't want a different teacher.
- [knock at door]

- Right.
- [principal] Excuse me. Yes?

- [door opens]
- [footsteps approaching]

- [man] Here's the exam results.
- Thanks so much.

NATIONAL THIRD GRADER'S EXAM

The test results are in.

[kids chattering, laughing]

I hate that I put them through this.

Monika…

Klaudia? What should I call you now?
What do you prefer?

Whatever you want.

Double the looks. Double the intelligence.

And, if I had to guess,
you'll probably blame me for all of it.

I won't.

Monika set you up,
and Klaudia provoked you.

And now both will get punished.

I wanna thank you.

For what?

The doctor said you saved Ania's life.

And screwed up mine.

My brother wants to invite you for dinner.
Will you come?

Mmm. Great!

- So we can honor the death of my career.
- Which one?

- [laughing]
- My dear, come with me. Results are in.

[dramatic music playing]

The exam results of our school apparently
have reached the national average.

Out of all schools, the results indicated
one class that demanded attention.

It's no surprise we're talking
about the third grade class,

led by Ms. Grabarczyk.

My expectations were accurate.

I always considered Ms. Grabarczyk
to be a professional of the highest order,

and I believe she deserves an award
for getting the best score in the country.

[all cheering]

Nine points above average

with all students maintaining
the same level.

- Congratulations, Ms. Grabarczyk.
- Thank you.

Congratulations.

[uplifting music playing]

[laughing]

[gasps] Oh.

They're for you. A gift from all of us.

Thank you!
But why are these roses golden? [chuckles]

- There were no diamond ones unavailable.
- [chuckles]

- [chuckles]
- [boy] Miss Monika's in love!

[kids] ♪ Enzo and Monika
Sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! ♪

[cheering]

Hey, do you wanna see the photos
I got from Mom?

[chuckling]

[sighs]

[chuckling]

It was a really good idea with the photos.
Ania is jumping with joy.

- Mm-hmm.
- [chuckling]

Don't even start.

Hmm? Ah.

Everyone makes mistakes.

You've never sent someone
a picture of your ex on accident?

[both chuckling]

I guess never!

So are you really moving out now?

Mm-hmm.

I'm gonna miss Ania.

[doorbell chimes]

- Did you order something?
- No.

Ania! Can you check who's at the door?

[door opens]

- [Ania] Mommy! It's Mom!
- Kaśka?

[Ania] Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!

["The Lotto"
by Ingrid Michaelson & AJR playing]

- I'm glad it all worked out.
- Mmm.

Honestly, though,

I really kind of enjoyed the whole thing.

- You don't like kids!
- [laughs] How dare you!

- Enzo didn't like kids. Stefan loves them.
- [laughs]

- Where to now?
- I don't know.

- You're the one driving.
- No!

- Yes.
- [laughs]

- Now, are you being serious?
- Just behave.

Mm-hmm.

♪ With empty pockets
We'll live out loud ♪

♪ We don't need no treasure
We don't need no crown ♪

- [door shuts]
- ♪ So my oh my, oh my, oh my ♪

♪ That money's not for me ♪

♪ My oh my, I don't gotta hit the lotto
'Cause I got a lot of loving for free ♪

♪ My oh my, oh my, oh my
Do you see what I see? ♪

♪ My oh my, I don't gotta hit the lotto
'Cause I got a lot of loving for free ♪

♪ I got a lot of loving for free ♪

♪ This life is funny ♪

- ♪ It don't make sense ♪
- [laughs]

♪ You've got it all figured out
You're still a mess ♪

♪ Put on that old suit ♪

♪ Put on that dress ♪

♪ They say
The best things in life cost less ♪

♪ So we say ♪

♪ My oh my, oh my, oh my
That money's not for me ♪

♪ My oh my, I don't gotta hit the lotto
'Cause I got a lot of loving for free ♪

♪ My oh my, oh my, oh my
Do you see what I see? ♪

♪ My oh my, I don't gotta hit the lotto
'Cause I got a lot of loving for free ♪

♪ I got a lot of loving for free ♪

♪ We don't need nothing fancy ♪

♪ Just a skyline and a view ♪

♪ Hand in hand, down Delancey ♪

♪ We've got it all, and we've got nothing
And there's nothing left to do ♪

♪ My oh my, oh my, oh my
That money's not for me ♪

♪ My oh my, I don't gotta hit the lotto
'Cause I got a lot of loving for free ♪

♪ My oh my, oh my, oh my
Do you see what I see? ♪

♪ My oh my, I don't gotta hit the lotto
'Cause I got a lot of loving for free ♪

♪ My oh my, oh my, oh my
That money's not for me ♪

♪ My oh my, I don't gotta hit the lotto
'Cause I got a lot of loving for free ♪

♪ My oh my, oh my, oh my
Do you see what I see? ♪

♪ Do you see what I see? ♪

♪ My oh my, I don't gotta hit the lotto
'Cause I got a lot of loving for free ♪

♪ I got a lot of loving for free ♪

♪ My oh my, I don't gotta hit the lotto
'Cause I got a lot of loving for free ♪

♪ I got a lot of loving for free ♪

[mellow music playing]