Sprung (1997) - full transcript

Two pairs of best friends - Montel & Clyde and Brandy & Adina meet at the party, where Clyde makes Adina think he is very rich and gets her into bed the same evening. When Adina finds out that she's been fooled, she becomes Clyde's worst enemy. Meanwhile Montel and Brandy fall in love and plan to marry, and Adina and Clyde try to do everything to stop them.

♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ Yes, I am ♪

♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ Yes, I am ♪

♪ Whoo ♪

♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ Hey, Baby, hey, you know I am... ♪

Are you pulling?

Yes, I'm pulling.

Well, pull harder.

♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ You know it... ♪


Montel, Boy,
what are you doing here?

Don't you know you ain't supposed
to see the bride before the ceremony?



♪ Love... ♪

Get ready, Montel.

You're about the last person
who needs to be late.

Here's your tie.

♪ I'm in love... ♪

Come on, come on, come on.

It's white.

It's supposed to be white, fool.

You're not supposed to be
like everyone else.

You're supposed to stand out.

Damn, we should have got clip-ons.

Just cool out, man.

Everything's gonna be cool.
Give me this thing.

I just don't want
to mess anything up, man.

You got the ring?


Man, I must have
left it in the car.


See, it's a fact.

Women will make you act a fool.

And it all started about a
year ago,

and damn, when some stuff happens,
it happens fast.

Wasn't nobody even thinking
about getting hitched.

And then...

Well, you know how it is
when a brother gets sprung.


Yo. What's up, man?

Hey, man.

Man. Runnin' a little behind.

Come on in, man.

♪ Ooh, it's about that time ♪

♪ Can you feel it? ♪

♪ Let me get it started ♪

♪ You know what I want to do ♪

♪ I'm not saying that I'm fading ♪

♪ But I'm feeling kind of dry ♪

♪ Let's have some fun ♪

♪ Taking it to the old school... ♪

Hey, man, how many more times

you're going to check yourself
in that mirror?

I've been waiting on your ass
for 2 hours.

Montel, ain't been no 2 hours, man.

See, you know what your
problem is?


See, you never learned the
art of meticulous grooming.


See, I had to.

Dark brother like myself had
to always do something extra

just to get a woman to say hello

or her attention or something.

Now, what you yellow brothers
have to do, you know,

is just braid your hair up,

and unleash a nice soft
afro and bam!

Women follow you from here to Jupiter.

But you know what?

They ain't checking for you
yellow niggas no more.

Real black is back.

Ha ha ha.

Isaac Hayes is in, man.

That dark chocolate chip brother.

It's blackety-black,

Wesley Snipes black-black
shit is in, man.

I ain't bullshitting.

Yeah, they want a man that's hard!

Who says mo' black
is mo' hard anyhow?

What about Farrakhan?

He's hard as they come,
and he ain't that dark.

See, now why'd you have to
bring Farrakhan into this?

'Cause I think he's relevant, man.

The brother got freckles.

See, Farrakhan get away with it

'cause Farrakhan is, you know..
He's got attitude.

And he dress hard, dress black.

Oh, so maybe I should wear a
bow tie?

Man, a bow tie ain't
gonna help you, man.

Look at you.
Look how you dress.


Come here. Come here.

What? What? What?

Look at this shit.

Come on.
Ain't no bow tie gonna help this.

Where you going..

I think that's cute.

What is this?
This is nothing.

Where is the rest?

This is nothing.

Oh, no! No!
I'm not wearing this.

Yes, you are.

No, I'm not.

You're so shy.
I don't get it.

See, you've gotta have respect...

♪ For the body ♪

♪ Whew! Work it, and work it ♪

♪ Don't let nobody hurt it ♪

I'll find you something else.

Oh! Oh, no!

Is all that me?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

♪ I want it ♪

♪ I want it ♪

♪ Give it to me ♪

♪ Hey, come on ♪

♪ I like it... ♪

My butt... Damn!

♪ I want it ♪

♪ I want it ♪

♪ Give it to me ♪

♪ Hey, come on... ♪

Now I need hair.



Wait a second.

Yeah, check it out.

See? I told you.

This outfit is the bomb.

Man, it's all red.

I'm feeling...
Weird, man.

This ain't me.

I'm feeling like a stop sign
or something.

Oh, come on, man.

Think of this as one of the colors

of, like, the true African Warriors,

like Shaka Zulu.

See, Shaka, he'd get
some ass in this suit.

Yo, I can't believe Raphael
let you borrow his Porsche.

You can't miss with the ladies
with this, now.

Now, Clyde, you know you
ain't got no money.

I know.

Brother ain't even got a bank card.

But you know what?

It's overdrawn.

What you doing?

Broke ass... Broke.

Ooh, brother got game.

Oh, now, now.

What you going to do
with that receipt, man?


Damn, man.

Raphael gonna kick your ass

for fucking his car up like that.


Yeah, right here.

Can't get in?


Seems like it's going on, too.

All right, y'all go ahead in.

Like that red though.

Oh, damn.

All this super-fine
booty-booty up in here.

Hell, yes.

Damn, man, what you trippin' on?

Opportunity, man.


There's some prime-rib
put-together prospects

Up in here.

Looks like a bunch of dogs to me.

Well, of course, what do you expect?
All men are dogs.

It's just figuring out which
ones are worth your time.

Oh, God.
What about him right there?

Mmm. Cute.

But one must not stop
at looks alone.

You gotta evaluate the situation.

For instance...


Now they look like versace.

But take a closer look.


$20 knock-offs for a $300
pair of frames.



Looky here.
Looky here now.

Shoes... 350.

Belt... 175.

Bulge... Average.

Watch... I'd say 250.

Now that's at least 775
worth of gear.

Add the clothes... 1200.

Ugh. He ain't that fine,
but I can work with that.



All right.


It's my bad.

Ladies, how y'all remind me
of the three degrees.

Y'all remember them?
They sang.

♪ Ah, you sexy thing ♪

♪ Ah, you sexy thing ♪

♪ Ah, you sexy thing ♪

♪ Ah, you sexy thing... ♪

Hey, how are you doing?

What say, you and me, you know?

Hmm. This one's wearing
a suit, and it's red.

Yo, Clyde, you get any numbers?

Man, these women ain't hearing
about nothing.

Brother steps to them
with a Porsche key,

and they ain't even with the program.

Man, let's roll.


Oh, ho, ho, ho.

Looks like I see potential.


They're about the
best-looking behinds

I done seen all night.


Let's make that move.

I'm with you.

Ah, ha ha. Excuse me.

Did I introduce my friend Montel?

Hello, Montel.

Good-bye, Montel.

We're leaving.

Don't leave so fast.

At least let me offer you
a ride home in my Porsche.

Oh, you got a Porsche?

Just look like some little
ol' keys to me.

Just some little old keys, huh?

I'm Clyde.

This is my partner Montel.


And this is, uh... Uh...


Yeah, Brandy, right.


Did I introduce my partner Clyde?

Ha ha ha ha.
Chill out.


Maybe I can offer you young ladies,

uh, some Chiclets or something.

Maybe you'd like some fruit punch.

Fruit punch.
Fruit punch.

We like fruit punch.

A little parched.

Then we'll be right back.

Maybe I should stay,

so they don't leave or something.

Man, chill.
Those girls ain't going nowhere.

All right.

"I've got my Porsche outside."
Please, girlfriend..

Chill now.

The fool dropped his bank receipt.


Ah, I got to teach you everything.

Watch mama work.

And I can see it from here.

Oh, my god.

What does it say?

Oh, he got money!

How much?

87 thousand.

And that's just in checking.

Oh, my god.

Imagine his savings account.

Oh! Ok, ok, ok.

Pull yourself together.
Pull yourself together.

Now, see, see, see.

Don't act different
when they come back.

What are you talking about?
Don't start to act..

I'm not acting different.

Getting all weird in the face.

This could be my captain..



You ladies ok?


Y'all all right?
Look, I'll get something...

To clean this up.

Yeah, yeah.
That's cool.

Sure you're all right?

You just scared me.

I don't want to do that.
Not trying to scare you.

Maybe I did.

Huh. I'm sorry.

I dropped my bank receipt.

Oh, well, hmm.

You didn't look at it, did you?

Oh, did you?

I mean...

Maybe, if I'd have
known what it was...

Oh, if you'd have known what
it was,

You'd have been scared.

Then I'd have been
embarrassed 'cause

it's kind of low.

Ah, kind of low?

I'm in love.

Oh, jeez.

Adi, you ok?

Oh, no.
I really don't feel so well.

I'm a little faint.

Please... I think I need some air.

Maybe you need some air, Sweetheart.

Let me take you outside
and walk with you, ok?

Got something in my car

that will probably mellow us
both right on out.



Catch you later.

I can't believe her.

They gonna be all right.


Damn, you sure do have some nice...


Lovely toes.
Ha ha. Hey...

Uh, you want..
You want to dance?


I don't like this song.

Yeah, it is kinda whack.

Um... Hey, you want to take a walk?


Look, maybe I should just,
you know,

get the rest of that juice up
off your feet.


Doesn't red mean stop?

Work that out.

Work it out!

So, uh...

Seen your girl?


What about your boy?

Uh, no, but I can't believe Clyde

would just leave my behind.

Uh! Huh! I can.

Seem like he'd leave
his mama in a ditch

just to try to get a little something.

Well, you know,

your girl left with him so...

Ha ha ha ha ha...

Actually, uh...

What I was trying to get to was...

Uh, perhaps you have some keys
to a car or something...

That she left with you or... Something...

Oh, that's so silly.


So this is it?


Ah... Mmm.


Leopard Beanbag.

It's actually a pillow.

Ah ha.
Looks like a beanbag to me.

Ha ha. You know, my Uncle Loogie

has this exact same arrangement.

Is that right?

Your Uncle Loogie must have a
great eye for taste.

Darling... He's blind.

Sorry to hear that.

Oh, snap!

No, you don't. Uh-uh.

Not the snow cone lamp.

Player, player.
This is older than me.

Oh, it is?

Oh, no. Wait.

Do you think I live here?

Come on now.

Do it look like I would live
in a place like this?

Oh, no, no, no.

This is my partner's crib.

See, my house is way out of
the city.

I just crash here while I'm
taking care of business in town.

So what you saying?

This isn't your place?

Oh, hell no.

Sweetheart, this gives me time
to hang out with my friend.

Had I known you wouldn't approve,

I would have got us a room
at the intercontinental.

Ooh, Baby, can't we go there instead?

But we're here now.

Tell me a secret...

Oh, Adina...

I can't wait...

To get you in my house.

I got a balcony on the third floor

that overlooks the entire city.

We could take a bath
in my jacuzzi tub...

Then make love right in front
of the fireplace...

Watch the flames flicker off
your body.

Then I'll set you off with a
nice tennis bracelet...

With diamond studs to match...

Then pour a whole bottle
of dom... Perion...

All over your sweet, sweet body...

And probably just get drunk...

Licking it off...

Licking it off your neck...

Your breasts...

Your thighs...

Oh, Baby, you're nasty.

I like that though.

I can get nastier.

Oh, man...

Damn it. Look.

I know I got it somewhere.

So you're trying to tell me...

You don't know where you live.

No. I'm trying to tell you

that I just got back in town.

I'm staying with my frat brother
until I find a place to stay,

and I think I lost the address.

You lost it?

Oh, oh, god.


Who's bad, huh?
Big leagues, Baby.

Oh, oh.

What's this? Double?


What's that?

A home run!

Yeah. Yeah.

Home run!

There's a spare.
There's a spare.

Don't touch it.
Don't touch it.

Oh, oh, oh!

Home run!



Pitch it! Pitch it!
Go ahead and pitch!

This the best ponanny
your ass ever had!

You like 'em, doncha?!

Ok, taste it.
Say it. Say it.

♪ I'm Adina, Adina, say Adina ♪

♪ Adina ♪

♪ My coochie makes you want
to say Adina, nigga ♪

Adina! Adina! Adina!

Ah... Not the hair.
Not the hair. Not the hair.


Clyde... Clyde...

Clyde's up in this.

Clyde... Clyde...
Clyde's up in this.



No use biting your tongue
trying to last.

Get 'em up! Get 'em up!

You blackety-black mandingo

nasty nigga!

Nigga. Aah!

Ahhh! Ohhh!

Are you sure you even have
a frat brother?

Look. Let's just forget
about this, all right?

Just.. You know, I know
where my studio is.

Drop me off at my studio,
and I'll crash there.


What kind..
What kind of studio?

Um, photography. That's..
That's.. That's what I do.

Oh, you're a photographer.

Oh, I bet you could take some
really nice pictures of me, huh?

Put me in something really elegant.

Make me look like, you know,

a fashion model or something,
you think?

Well... Yeah, I guess I could
do a little something.

You know, I mean...


Set up a nice layout, and, uh...

Put you in something, show off
that nice bone structure.

Ha ha ha! Really?

Negro, please.

If that's not the most weak,
whack, ancient, mack-daddy line!

"Yeah, Baby, I'm a photographer."

"You got good bone structure."

That's ok.

We're gonna find your frat
brother's place, all right?

Huh. Ain't gonna have me
butt-naked on some bearskin rug.

And ever since then,

jumped over the fence
and broke my wrist.

Ha ha ha!

Always been scared of dogs,
you know?

That dog chased you all the
way from the liquor store.

It wasn't a regular dog.

It was a Rottweiler Pit Bull
mixed with...

Oh, stop.
Oh, I have a headache.

You make me laugh.

I'm sorry.

You think your friend
has any aspirin?

Sure, he got a medicine cabinet.

He should have some in there.

I'm going to go check and see.

Uh... Ooh.

Don't go nowhere.




Always the bad boy,
always the bad boy.

Look at you, man.

You did it again.

Long, black, and strong.

Ramrod, you the man.
You the man.

I got to give you a pat on
that one.

Wore that stuff out.

"Clyde Henderson"?

"Clyde Henderson."

"Clyde Henderson.
Clyde Henderson.

"Clyde Henderson.
Clyde Henderson...

Clyde Henderson"!

I've been played.

Who the hell do you think
you're trying to play?

Girl, what's your damn problem?!

My problem?! My prob..

My problem?!

See, I thought this was supposed
to be your boy's crib.

I thought you owned a big old
fancy house

somewhere in Brentdale.

And I thought you was
clockin' major figures,

but obviously, it's all
a bunch of bullshit.

So what if I'm lying?

What's the big deal?

The big deal is...

I don't waste my time on
broke-ass, low-class fools

whose game is so weak you had
to lie to me just to get some.

You calling me weak?

I guess I was strong enough
to get your ass, huh?


Yeah. You ever heard of macks?

Well, you're looking at the
mack of the year.

No, I got a fax.

I'm mack of the decade.

And now that I got you,
you know what I am now?

I'm motherfucking mack
of the millennium.

That's what you did.

So guess what now?

You get to kiss my ass.

Gold-digging freakazoid.

If you wasn't such a skeez,

I wouldn't have played your
trifling ass so easy.


Yeah, tri-fling.


You stank cologne-wearing...


Fancy car rentin'...

Swap-meet gold wearin'...

Wannabe a mack but ain't
got the rap moth..

You know what?

You.. You.. You.. You..

You just take me home right now.

Get your ass up and get dressed

And take me home

I ain't taking your psycho
ass nowhere.

You can use the phone to get
the hell out of my apartment.

I bet you you take me home.

I bet you, goddamn it,
you take me home.

You crazy-ass


Call yourself a cab.

Oh, you're gone. Yeah...

Oh, no, you didn't!

Oh, shit! She's gone!

The Porsche. Shit!

I'll fuckin' go kill her!

Hey, get out of that car.

Get out of that car!

Fuck you!

Get out of the car!

Oh, shit!
Stop the car!

You trying to kill somebody?

Not somebody! You!


Psycho ass! Come on,
Stop the car! Psycho?

Quit following me around!


Hold on!
Pull it over! Damn you!

Get down! I don't want you no more!

Get off the car!

I got no choice.
It's a Porsche!

Think I'm gonna let you drive
away with a Porsche?

What do you want to hear?

You want me to tell you
I love you?

I love you, ok? Come on.
Just stop the car.

I don't go for that love shit!

Get off the car, you no-money-having,

No-stroking-having, no-dick-having...

Get off this motherfucking
car, Negro!

Hey, listen.
Listen to me, ok?

I mean, I..


Oh, shit!

No, you didn't just take my
good hair!

I hope you die!


Give me her!
You son of a dog!

And your stroke ain't working neither!

Tell me my stroke was no good?

It was good enough to have you screaming
my name all night, wasn't it?

Screaming it loud, too.

And you was easy!

Too easy! The easiest I ever had.

Barely said howdy-do,
and look at you.

I was already deep up in you.

Wasn't even worth my trouble.
'Cause you know why?

'Cause your stuff was the
worst, sneeziest,

dopiest, grumpiest, just
sloppiest poo-nanny I ever had.

Boy, you're disturbing my sleep.

Take it easy, old man.
Just put the gun down.

You get out of here.

Just take it easy with that gun.

I'm gone.

Wait a minute.

What size is that shirt?

What size is it?

Looks like a 40.

It's a 42.

Just my size.
Take it off.

Take it off?

Mm-hmm. That's right.
Take it off.

I'm taking it off.

That's a big ol' gun.

I'm taking it off.

Now.. Now drop it.


All right.
Now you get out of here.

I'm gitting.
I'm gitting.



Was your friend home?
Did you get the address?

Yes. Yes.
1132 West Holcomb.

West Holcomb?

West. Why are you tripping?

We were right over there
when you told me

to drive all the way over here.

So we went 20 minutes
this way for nothing.

Now we gotta go 20 minutes back.

That's 40 minutes out of my life

trying to drive a wannabe photographer

who probably can't even
develop a damn polaroid!

Yo, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hold on. What's up?

Is your g-string too tight,
or were you just born evil?

No. Seriously, I want to know

because it could be
a medical emergency.

Maybe the elastic has just
knotted up your butt cheeks,

constricted your blood flow,

and cut off the oxygen supply
to your brain

'cause you're acting kind of ignorant.

Ah-ah. Uh-uh.

All I'm saying is look,
I appreciate the ride, ok?

But you could at least pretend
to be civil.

Got us going through the
tortures of the damned,

and our friends are out
having fun.

Psycho 'ho!
Took a perfectly good evening

and turned it into
a bunch of aggravation.

Oh, shit!

Look, it's been really,
really hard lately,

and I guess I have been
a little hard on you.

A little hard?
A little hard?

Well, I've just been dealing
with a lot of jerks lately,

and they would do just
this kind of thing

to try to make some kind of move.

Ya know?

I know.

I know that nigger.


That's my boy, Clyde.

Take it easy, guy, huh?

Come on.

Take it easy.

His name is Clyde Henderson.

What did he do, murder?
Rape? Is he a drug dealer?

Look, Clyde ain't no common
thug, all right?


Anyhow, Officer, he was driving
a yellow Porsche.

Right. The pervert in the skivvies.

Y.. No!

See? I knew it!
I knew he was a pervert.

They brought him in on lewd and
lascivious conduct and indecent exposure.

There you have it.

There's a woman coming down
to identify the suspect.

Oh! Adina. Where is Adina?

Adina? Adina Jackson?


That's the woman who's coming
in to identify the suspect.


Wait a second.

That scandalous-looking hoochie

is the one that filed the complaint?

Excuse me, but Adina's no hoochie.

She may not be the girl next door...

Oh, you try the freak down
the street.

I'm trying to tell you, Officer,
she's just a..

Officer... I'm here to make
an identification.

Let's get this over with.

Number one, step forward
and read the line.

"Girl, I know you want these nuts."

Drop your robe, number one.


Step back. Number 2, step
forward and read the line.

"Girl, I know you want these nuts."

Number 2, where the hell is
your damn robe?

They're with my damn nuts.
That's where it's at.

Stop being an asshole and
show your genital region.

Show some nuts.
I'll show your ass some nuts.

We don't want to see that thing.

Get his crusty ass out of here.

I got the godzilla of nuts.

Yeah. Give 'em to your mama.

You know,
you really need to calm down.

Adina's crazy sometimes, but she's
not gonna dog Clyde for nothing,

assuming that he did nothing.

Look, Clyde's crazy all the time,

but he ain't no rapist.

If he and Adina kicked it,
it was mutual.

Boy thinks he's that girl
thinks she's

such a damn player.
Such a damn player.

Number 3,
step forward and read the line.

"Girl, I know you want these nuts."

He's a foreigner.

Ok. Number 3, drop your robe.

Ok, Sabu...

Get your ass back in line.

That's not even his Porsche?

That 4-speed, Hyundai XL-Driving..

Hell, no. Hell, no.

Oh, why do brothers always have
to lie about what they really got?

See, it ain't no different than
a weave now, 'cause lies is lies.

Oh, don't even try it
'cause you know

you brothers go for the fake hair.

Oh, just like y'all go for the fake
Porsche keys and fake bank slips, huh?

Mmm, yeah, my girl...

Always going for an angle.

Sometimes she gets bent
out of shape though.

Mm, yeah. Clyde thinks he's got
more game than Parker Brothers.

But I ain't like that.
But I ain't like that.

That's 2.

That's 2.

"Girl, I know you want these nuts."

Number 4, hate to say this...

But take your robe off.


Wasting all that good equipment.

Um... Uh, I mean, no... Sir.

Ok, number 4. Take your ass
back, way the hell back.

Number 5,
step forward and read the line.

(Mumbling) "Girl, I know you
want these nuts."

He was much louder.

Louder, number 5! Louder!

I got to get out of here.
Come on, louder!

"Girl, I know you want these nuts!"

Take off the robe, number 5.


I think... Wait!

When he did it, he grabbed himself.

He grabbed himself?

Number 5, grab your dick...

And your balls and say the
line again.

Come on, man.

Do it, or I'll get number 4
to help you.


I know he's willing.

Man, get your ass back.

"Girl, I know you want these nuts."

Mm-mm. Not like that.

It was a circular motion.

He was rubbing himself in a
circular motion like...

He was doing something to hisself.

In a circular motion?

Is that something new?
1999? What is this?

Circular motion?

Number 5...

In a circular motion.

I want you to somehow
grab your dick...

And... And make yourself feel good...

And read the line again, like this.

Rubbing motion!

In a rubbing motion!

Like you're doing something
to yourself.

Say the line now.

Man, this ain't right.
I'm not doing this.

Do it, number 5,
or I will arrest your ass

for driving without a registration.

In a circular motion like this!

Put your hand on your peepee
and your balls.

Y'all got me going crazy in here.

Grab your dick and go in a
circular motion like this

and make yourself feel good,

like you're doing something
to yourself.

And say the line.

"Girl, I know you want these...

Hell, if she don't want them,

swing those jingle bells to Denise

'cause I'll ring 'em right.

Aw, shut up, number 4.
I got enough trouble.

Ok... Is that him?

That looks just like the guy.

So you're saying it's him?


The guy was much taller.

Ho ho.
Ho ho ho ho.

Oh, shit.
I hope the shit was all that.

I hope the shit was good.
I hope it was real..

Hey, Montel.
That shit's not funny, ok?

You're lucky she didn't
send your ass to jail.

Jail? Oh, it ain't over.
I'm still going to jail.

I'm gonna get life after
I kill that bitch.

Girl, you are so crazy!

You know what? You're right.
He had it coming.

He's sleazy, and I know

that you are so glad that you
ain't give nothing up, huh?


Oh, my god.
You.. You did it, didn't you?

Ohhh! Ew! Adina!

Aah! You're such a 'ho.

Stop! Whoa!

Don't even go there, Brandy.

I'm saying, you know me.

You know, I was just being a
little charitable tonight.

You know I got a soft spot
for chocolate.

Yeah, the one in between your legs.

Ha ha ha ha.
You're gonna make me crash.

Wait. You nasty.

So what happened with you and his
ugly-ass friend Montclair, anyway?

Nothing happened,
and Montel is not ugly.

No, I guess he ain't.

Just weak as hell.

He's not weak either.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa. Whoa. Excuse me.

What are you saying, you're sprung?

I know you ain't sprung.
Are you sprung on that fool?

No. No.


Remember, girl,
all dogs run in packs.

Montclair's just gonna
follow the lead dog.

His boy got some, so now he
think he gotta get some, too.

He'll be back sniffing around.

Just wait and see.

Hey, uh, Brandy.


Are you surprised to see me?

Actually, no.

Somebody said you might stop by.

Oh, uh, that's funny.

Anyway, I forgot to give you this.

A disposable pen?

Yeah. Well, you know, when
I grabbed the pen out of your car

when I went to get my frat
brother's address,

and, I don't know, I just
figured maybe you might need it.

A disposable pen?

Montel, I'm not living
large or anything,

but I think I can afford
a 29-cent disposable pen.

Yeah, well, you know,
it's bigger than the pen.

It's really the principle of
the thing

because, you know,
it was your pen,

and, you know, you should have
your pen because it's your pen.

And, um, now you have it,

and, uh, I guess I should get rolling.

Um, I don't want you to think
I was trying a rap

'cause I really don't have a
rap to speak of.

I'm not a rapper.
I like it, but I can't do it.

So I wasn't.. Is there a bathroom

where a brother could
relieve hisself?

Thank you.


You have no rap!

You are rapless.

You have no rap.



Could you take my bags..

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Um... Ooh.

Thank you.

Uh, my.. My..
The cap.


M-my pen had a cap.

Oh, uh...


You know,
I.. I probably lost the cap.

I'm sorry. I just probably..
Probably lost it.

I can get you another cap.

It's ok.

You owe me then.

Oh... Uh...

Is there any way I could start,
like, repaying my debt now?


Oh, what do you have in mind?

I have some things in mind.

♪ It's harder each day
to see you ♪

♪ With an expression your
words negate ♪

Come on.

♪ I think it's time we find out ♪

♪ If passion's on the way ♪

So, a lawyer, huh?

Gonna be a fine lawyer.

Not yet, but soon.

I'm not gonna be a law clerk forever.

Then you're just gonna be
suing fools left and right.

And you're gonna be the next
Gordon Parks taking pictures, right?

Um, yeah, but you know Gordon,

he did a couple of movies, too.

I might branch out.

Oh, really?

You have something in mind
you want to do?

Uh, yeah.
I got this idea

About this group of friends, right?

And they just sit around

and talk about life and what
it means to be human.

It's a black film?

It's black.

No gangstas, no drugs,
nobody getting shot?

None of that.


You ain't gonna make no money.

I'm gonna make some money.

Yeah, you think so?

See, because it's a love story.

And everyone loves a love story.


Hey, you know,

I know this spot where there's
gonna be dancing tonight.

Uh-uh. Some dark club, Montel?

It's just nice sitting here.

You're just gonna have to trust
me 'cause I got some plans.

Montel, wait!

Get your stuff 'cause I got plans.

Yo, this is Montel.
Leave your name and..

Fuck that nigga.

Brandy, pick up the phone.


I'm outta here.

All right. Come on.
Over the stone. Watch the stone.

Montel, I am going to fall.

No! Whoops. Ha ha.
Where are we?

Careful. All right.
I gotcha.

No! Aah!
Put me down!

We're doing this.

Oh... It's so beautiful!

Come on. Let's go down.

I don't know if we can go
down there.

I haven't been down there before.

You're the one who said

there's gonna be dancing,
you have plans. Come on.

I plan to stand up here and listen.

Come on.

They're moving.

They are.

Work, girl.

Oh, they are so cute. How do
they stay in love for so long?

With sheer will and determination.

Come on, Edgar.
Make me want you.

Hey, I guess they just got it
like that.

Ok. I.. I kind of know this song,

So, uh, may I have this dance?

Can you dance?

We will find this out.

♪ I'd like to know it's more
than love at first sight ♪

♪ I want a Sunday kind of love ♪

♪ I want a love that's on the square ♪

♪ Can't seem to find somebody
to care ♪

♪ I'm on a lonely road
that leads me nowhere ♪

♪ I need a Sunday kind of love... ♪

When you said dancing,
I would never have guessed.

Well, my love, I do like to
party with the old crowd.

There is so much to learn.

♪ I'm hoping to discover
a certain kind of lover ♪

♪ Who will show me the way... ♪

Keep trying, Young Buck.

You'll get there.

Party ain't over with yet.

Clyde just got here.

So what's..

Hey, yo, Baby, how're you doing?

Ok, we're getting better.

♪ Give me a Sunday kind of love ♪

Oh, yeah...


You know, I have never spent
the night in a park before.

It's really beautiful out here.



There's a lot of beauty
right around here.

So... We've spent our first
night together.

Yeah, and I didn't get
so much as a kiss.

Well, I guess you're not a
dog after all.

Arf arf arf.

All right.

All right. All right.


Hold on.

Please just...

Hold on.


Did I do something wrong?

No... You...

You're doing everything very...


It's just that I'm not looking
for a 20-minute love affair.

Neither am I, you know.

20 minutes don't make it.

And I guess you make love
for hours, huh?


I make love for days.

Oh, ho ho.

Oh, you are.. That's good.

Wait. No. No.

No. Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. Let me explain.

See, um...

What I'm saying is...

Making love means, uh...

Smiling at the thought of you

and... Holding you...

While we watch tv...

Um, falling asleep with my
head in your lap.

And touching you...

Like this.

♪ I suppose ♪

♪ For a man like me ♪

♪ To be the love of your life ♪

♪ That's a lot to ask ♪

♪ But somehow I feel the right ♪

♪ So here I am ♪

♪ Hey, Babe, with the tables turned ♪

♪ The fear of getting burned ♪

♪ Your hand's been called ♪

♪ I want everything ♪

♪ Or nothing at all ♪

♪ At all ♪

♪ Every-every-everything ♪

♪ Now what am I to do? ♪

♪ You've made me fall for you ♪

♪ I want everything ♪

♪ Or nothing at all ♪

♪ At all ♪

♪ Every-every-everything ♪

♪ What am I to do? ♪

♪ You've made me fall for you ♪

♪ I want everything ♪

♪ Or nothing at all ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Or nothing at all ♪

♪ Nothing at all ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Nothing at all ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

Chucky! Chuck!


Good boy.

The nurse said we were blessed.

Yeah. He's very handsome.

I'll be with you in a second.

I got to finish this up.
One minute.

All right, one more.

Hey, listen, man,

I gotta ask you something.

Now, I don't know if you're
even hiding anything from me,

I just want you to be straight.

You don't have to worry about
me calling you no punk

or trippin' or nothing like that.

All right, man, go ahead. Talk.

You and Brandy, man,

what's up with that?

Ok, uh..

You be straight with me.

Whatever you say to me
makes me no never-mind.


Just let me know.

I mean, if you're gonna be
spending time with Brandy,

Hey, I'll make other plans.

I understand.

Nigger, tell the truth, ok?
Be direct.

Trying to hide something
from me, be all undercover.

I'm your boy.
I'm in your corner.

I want to see you happy.

And if being happy
is being with Brandy...

Y'all are going to be all
in love then, you know...

It don't mean shit to me.

All right?

Well, um...

I'm glad you feel that way, man,

'cause, uh...

Me and Brandy, uh...


We in love.

Oh, no, nigga!
No, no, no!

You're lying, right?

What do you mean you're not lying?

You can't be serious about
that sorry excuse for a man.

I'm saying, girl,
he ain't got no money.

He's got potential.
He's working.

Taking baby pictures!?

He's got a dream, Adina.

Martin Luther King had a dream.

He ain't got no money.

She ain't no better than her friend.

She's a gold digger.

Gold diggers run in packs like dogs.

Money ain't bad,

but what about a good heart?

Some motivation?

A little honesty?

Yeah, ok.
Well, at least I'm still hard,

and I'm still holding my own.

You're getting soft.


You get sprung when every woman

that comes around throws you some.

So a brother who admits he's
in love can't be hard.

That's what I'm hearing.

I'm saying something like that.

Hell, I'm hard.

I love hard, see?

When I love a woman,

she knows she's being loved.

Because why?

Because I come hard with my love.

Ooh. Oh.
That's nice.

You understand, I ain't
giving up no soft love.

I come correct, see?
You know?

I love from here...

And from here...

Not just down here.

That's right.

Make your point to the brother.

That's right.
See, now, I might use...

I might use what's down here

to reinforce the love I'm
giving from here and here,

but the single-minded focus
that it takes

to love from here, here, and here

all at the same time...

Man, you can't get no harder
than that.

Go get some more!

Whoa. Chill out, man.
Damn. Chill.

Go ahead, Young Man!

It's ok. It's ok.
It's ok. It's ok.

All right.

Where you think you at, man?

Girl, yeah. Boy!

Are we still cool?

Oh, we're cool.

We're cool.

All right.
All right.


Oh, by the way, uh...

Me and Brandy...

We're moving in together.


You heard me.
We're moving in.

This is getting way out of hand.

See, the way I see it is that, uh...

My friend is on a serious
rebound trip,

and he can't see that your friend

is nothing but a big,
scheming skeezer...

Like you.

First of all,

you keep talking that mess,

and you'll be wearing this coffee.

Second, your friend
is the scheming skeezer.

He wishes he deserved

to be with anybody I even..

Not even..

Anybody I've even seen

walk down the street,

which he doesn't.

Both of y'all ain't nothin'

but a couple of phony,

broke, perpetratin'..

Ho, ho, ho, ho.


Well, you didn't think I was perpetratin'

when I was waxin' that booty,
now, did you?

In case you didn't get the
news flash,

well, here it is:

You know how many different
women I had to think about

just to keep myself at attention?

Oh, yes, and you must've
enjoyed it

'cause you was whoopin'
and hollerin' all night.

Damn near got me evicted.

Screamin' and poundin' on the walls.

Ooh. Oh, stop.

Ooh. Ooh.
That's my head.

Hold it a minute.
Ooh, that's the spot.

Hey! Oh! You're hittin'
the bottom. Oh! Aah!

The only reason I encouraged you

was because I figured eventually

you might find the hole,

which you never did,

and the only reason I was
hollerin' so loud

was to keep from laughin'

at all those ugly faces
you was makin'.


G-g-guh! Mmph!
Eee! Uhh!

Ok. All right.
All right!

Now, I ain't Harry,

and you definitely ain't Sally, ok?

So Montel's my partner,
and Brandy's your girl,

and if they hook up long-term,

then that means we'll be
seeing a lot of each other,

and I can't abide by that,

so we got to do something, fast,

for their good and definitely
for ours.

Guess that's about the only thing

you ever said that wasn't a lie.

So... You got any ideas

up in that peanut-size
brain of yours?

Yes, I do...

Miss Wiggy.

But you got to be willing
to go all the way,

'cause I'm talkin' about some lowdown...

Back-stabbin', treacherous...

Triflin', manipulative, insidious...

Fiendish, machiavellian, deceitful...

Unconscionable, egregious, nasty...

Diabolical, unscrupulous,
and just downright...





Oh, man, movin' is a big deal, now.

Come on, Montel.

How much do you really know
about this woman anyway?

Yo, Clyde, what do I know?

Look, I know some..
I know about..

Anyhow, look I know the
important thing.

I know we're in love.
How's that?

No, no, no, girl.

I hear you.

You are in love.

I am truly happy for you,

but do you really know this man?

Well, who knows what secrets
he could be hiding.

Girl, some of these men

have babies just spread
all across the country,

wives in other cities.


Not to mention boyfriends.


When he walks, sometimes
I see a little you know.

Man, this is filthy.

Oh, man.

Hey, let me tell you about
this sucker I knew...

Hooked up with this girl
he met in church.

She was supposed to be sanctified.

I mean sanctified.
You hear me?

Man, my man married homegirl

and thought he was set for life.

He worked his ass off,
too, for her. Mmm!

Then he came home,

only to find she was
doing his best friend,

the mailman,
the trainer at the gym.

Even the minister stopped by
for some.

He had 3 or 4 of his gangbangers
from the youth group.

Then they all got down.

That shit was so scandalous, man,

even Geraldo refused to tell
the story.

That's real fucked up, man.

Girl, you got a career
to think about, remember?

You ain't got time to be
somebody's mother.

Some of them want to have you

cookin' and cleanin' all the
damn time,

scrubbin' the skid marks
off their nasty-ass drawers,

like you ain't got nothin'
else to do.

And you never know if she's
got that...

middle-age fat gene.



Oh, Baby, you always give me
an appetite. Oh!

Sure, she looks fine right now,

but just wait till that
middle-age fat gene

kicks in on your ass

and turns your king-size bed

from a luxury to a
motherfuckin' necessity!

Puttin' on some pounds, ain't ya?

Oh, I've seen it happen.

From a cute, cuddly teddy bear

to a big ol' ugly
boogie-boogie bear

just over night!

And once they have a regular
source for sex,

you know they just let
themselves go.

Here we go.

Put it down right there.

I know what to do.
Don't tell me what to do.

Oh, yeah.

You bring that big old thing..

Hey! Hey!

Don't touch me, you old buzzard.

I still got something.

I still got a little something.

Oh, you wouldn't even
remember what it looked like.

I know what it looked like.

It was that big thing,
there was a crack in it.

I can still work it, girl.

I can still work it.

I got something...


Yeah, shit.

Um, can you two excuse us for
a moment, please?

Oh, yeah, Baby.

If you need me,

I'm right back here.

Yeah, me, too.

Montel, we need to talk.


Be honest with me, ok?


Got any babies?


Homosexual tendencies?

Hell no.
What about you?

Undercover crackhead.

Closet nympho?
Sneakin'? Freakin'?


Fat moms?
Boogie bear in the family tree?

Definitely not.

All that's true?

Yeah, and everything you
told me the truth, Baby?

Oh, yeah, Baby.




We gotta use more drastic measures.


Let them see what it's like
on the dark side.


I like the way you're working over

that fudge bar, girl.

You got it going on yourself
with that cherry pop, Baby.

I know how to work it.

I know how to do it.

Ha ha ha ha.

Hey, man, we next.

♪ Tell me it's true ♪

Ok, you bet.
Just a second.

♪ My heart is always... ♪

I'll be back.

I know you will, for some of this.




Can we go?

♪ That's what I know... ♪

Can we play now?

Bye. Bye.

I'll be right back.

All right. Bye.

Bye, Babes.

She needs us.

♪ Adore me ♪

♪ Tell me it's true... ♪

Um, somebody want to tell me
what's going on?

Look, Boo, we need to talk.

♪ See that we are love ♪

There he is.

Yo, what's up?

Some brothers I want you to meet.

Hey, man, I thought we had a game.

Shut up, fool!

We here to perform an intervention

that just might save your life.

Misery loves company,

and you about to be one
miserable-ass fool.

You'll be looking foreplay up
in the dictionary

just so you can remember what
it is.

They get sick of the milk

before they even buy the cow.

One day, you look into that
mirror, and pow!

Night of the living dead.

We're married, man.

If you got pregnant,

they act like you're the traitor,

like you sold secrets to the
Russians or something.

Yellin' and screamin' and naggin'!

Then she'll say she's sorry,

you'll accept the apology,
you make up, and then...

Pow! Baby number 2.

After the baby,

your titties start saggin',

your body's a mess!

And after you're married,

you ain't gotta worry about
no more babies,

'cause after you're married,
all the fuckin' stops.

You lose your identity,

you lose your self-respect,

you lose your soul.

Hey, hey, hey.
I know. See...

No, I just tell Baby, you know,

that I don't want to get married.


What you want

ain't got a damn thing to do
with it.

Let's play some ball.

♪ 'Cause what I know in my heart... ♪

Um, Brandy, we need to talk.

I was just about to say the
same thing.

Yeah, so..

Uh. My friends, please.

♪ Adore thee... ♪

Look, we need to talk.
I totally respect you.

Oh, so what are you saying?

What are you saying, Montel?

We're fucked up!

What about the milk?
What about the cow?

You just wanna scream it out

in front of everybody?

Ah, they're going at it.

Looks like we have to load
those trucks again.

I told you this shit would work.

When you're angry.

Bring your fine self over here.

♪ Tell me it's true... ♪

Damn! Ain't this about a bitch?

See? I told your ass
this shit wouldn't work.

♪ It's plain to see that we are... ♪

We're gonna have to take the
gloves off now.

So Brandy don't mind you
hanging out

with me tonight, huh?

No, man. You see, we give
each other space,

you know? I mean, uh...

She's out hanging out with Adina,

so, you know, everything's chill.

That's cool.

Man, guess I was wrong
about her, huh?

Hey, I guess so,

but, you know, that's all right,

'cause, you know,

I'm used to you being ign'ant.

Girl, you're right.

Listening to white boy music

is a trip when you're blunted.



We be having some ill lyrics.

You, you.. Adina...

You ever date any of them?


White boys.

Yeah... Ha ha ha!

Girl, some of 'em got real
thick ones.




Like, thick thick?



Ha ha ha!

So how.. How thick we talkin'?

I'm talkin'...
So thick...

Some of 'em gotta get another one..

Extra one..

Extra.. Just to hold all that money.

Adina, what are you talkin' about?

Wallets. Girl, I'll date anybody

with enough money to keep me happy.

Why? What did you think
I was talkin' about?


Never mind.

Right on, Big D, my brother.

This here's number 4.


Hey, now!


Whoa, whoa, sweet Jesus!

Look what just walked through
the door.

Veronica Debonway.

I ain't seen her since high school.

How many times you ask her out?

Hmph. Only about a hundred.

Shot me down every time.

Since you practically
married now, uh...

You don't mind if I go over there

and step to her, right?

Hey, man, it's a free country.

Shoot. Go for yours, brother.

All right.
That's what I like to hear.

I don't care.

That woman don't stand a chance.

I'll be back with the duchess,

if I be back.

Yeah, all right.


Hi! How you doin'?

Mmm! Come over here and sit down.

I ain't even thinkin' about it.

I ain't thinkin' about it.

I got a good woman at home.

Good woman.

Shit. My woman as fine as that.

I love the smell of you.
What is that?

Almost as fine.

My woman got 3 times the butt.

How much more ass can a
nigger need?

Ain't gonna let that fool
show me up.

Shoot, I still got some mack.

Montel! Oh, my god! Hi!

Oh, my goodness!
It's so good to see you!

It's good to see you, too.

You look great.

Thank you. Clyde didn't even
tell me you were here.

It's just like Clyde not to
tell somebody.

Hey, I thought he left, like
he went to hell or something.

You are so funny, man.

Montel, were you always this funny?

And, um... This cute?

Uh... Yeah, always.

See, you just never gave me a chance

to show you my talents.

Especially your talent

for cock blocking.

Hey, everybody makes mistakes,
but, um...

We can correct them, too.

Yeah. Uh...

So.. So you came here alone?

Yeah. Um, I took a cab
here to meet someone,

but I guess they aren't coming.

Probably heard I was gonna be here.

You know, didn't want the competition.

Montel, do you, um...

Think you can give me... A ride?



Oh, ho ho ho!
Like, a ride...

In my car!
In the hoopty?

Yeah, of course in your car.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I can hook that up.

I'll give you a ride.
It's no problem.

Um... What kind of ride
were you thinking about?

No kind.

Just a ride.

Oh, hey, uh, Veronica...

Thank you for driving.

Those tequila shots
really jacked me up.

Well, I wouldn't want you
to end up in jail.

No, that.. That wouldn't be good.

Uh... Oh.

I should.. I should go.

Uh-uh. Montel, we both know

you are in no shape to drive home.

Why don't you, um...

Come up and have some coffee?

Yeah... Ok.

Just a little cup.

Ok. Can you get my door?

Yeah. Um...

It's stuck.

Long legs.
Oh, watch that dash.

Uh... I wonder who this could be

at this time of night.



Oh, hi, Latisha.

The mouse is eating the cheese.

Ok, Adina?

No. Who?

Uh-uh. Not Brandy's man Montebello.


Girl, no. I will not tell her

those terrible things.

I'm hanging up on you now.

Latisha, I'm hanging up
the phone right now.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait!

Ok, if it comes up, ok?

He's wearing a tan vest
and a white shirt.

Ok, bye.

What was that all about?

Wh-what did Latisha say?


She's just starting some mess, girl.

You know Latisha.

Right, I know, but she had said

something about Montel.

Girl, would you just leave it alone?

She's just crazy.

Adina, what did she say?!

Goodness! Fine.

Latisha said that she
saw your man mongoose

walkin' into her building

with some big-bootied model heifer.

Yeah, that was her name.

She's french. Creole.


But it's nothing.

French. Be a trip, boy.

That girl...
Is wrong.

That girl Latisha.

Did she say what he was wearing?

Tan vest, white shirt.

But I wouldn't worry.

Where she live?

5555 West Grove.

Look, girl, I wouldn't go there.

I'm telling you, It's nothin'.

It better be nothin'.
Let's go, Adina.

Adina, let's go!

Right behind you!


Here we go.

Now.. Excuse me..

You just drink this...

And I'll be right back, ok?

You're so cute.

You're so cute, too.

Oh... No.

Oh, forget about it, forget
about it, forget about it.

Just drink drink drink your coffee.

Uh-huh... Oh, yeah...
Oh, yeah.

I hate coffee.

Ok, ok, look... Whoa, god.

This is bad.

All right, so...

Go to the other side of the room

and sit... On a bench...

Where you can't be sat next to.

Oh... Now, see, there you go...

'Cause what you don't wanna do...

Is be where she can come back here

and sit next to you

'cause you,
you wanna get into somethin',

but that ain't gonna happen.

So... What do you think?

I think I'm in a world of trouble.

Did.. Veronica...

Did.. Did.. Did, um...

You know, I remember wanting
something badly once

in, uh.. In, uh..

In, uh... High..
High.. High school..

Hi.. And, uh...

I remember it was..
You know, it was...

Kind of like you that I wanted.

I had this really...
Big crush..

That looks nice..

And, uh, actually,
it was more like a lust,

kind of a love thing, if...



Well, you know, I mean,
it wasn't really..

You know, there was a lot of
love for you

from a lot of guys because you..

You were so lovable...
And.. And smart...

And the thing is I always had...

These crazy fantasies about you,

and me with my camera...

And you...
With all that stuff you have.

I mean, I always knew

that you-you-you'd do well.

And I guess, um...
I am just saying...

You know, that I think I'm..

I'm, like, very...

Proud of you.

What did you say?

Um... Proud?

I'm... Proud of you.

All this... Is impressive.

Down, boy.

Um, Veronica...
Why are you crying?


Do you see... The car?

What room?

Adi-adina, what room did you
say she was in?

Um... 1209.

Hey... I mean...

Wow! You know, 'cause I..

I would've never thought
in a million years

that you would sell your...

I mean...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Calm down.
It's ok, it's ok.

I mean, look, Veronica,

there are worse things...

Than being.. Being a call girl.

Oh, yeah? Name one.



Oh, Montel!

Oh, Montel!
Ohhh! Ohhh!



Ohhh, Montel!



All right!

Hola, Mami!


No, no, no...

Do not tell me that you are
still asleep.

Come on, Adina, damn!

Beautiful day.
Go away!

Do not tell me that, Mami.

Ok, I won't tell you.

It is 7:00 outside
and still it ain't dark.

I like it dark.

What is wrong with you, girl?


How long do you plan on
spending 16-hour days

sleeping and crying over that man?

Heh heh.


How come every man that
I ever care about...

Dogs me out?

Is there anybody that I can trust?

Every time I think about it,

it pisses me off, man.

I mean, she didn't trust me,
you know?

And I didn't do anything.

I was innocent, man.

I was innocent, you know?

I'm glad I found out

how crazy she was, though.

You know, spying on a brother
like that.

I don't play that.
I don't play that.

I don't play that shit.

Hey, hey, hey!

What's your problem?

Damn, you just keep rambling.

Look, you done cussed her out,

broke up with her,

moved your stuff out of her apartment.

What the hell you still
tripping about?

I mean, I'm not tripping.

You know, far as I'm concerned,

you know... Brandy's a closed chapter.

Well, then turn the fucking
page then, ok?

Quit moping around all the
damn time, man.

This shit is sickening.

I ain't moping.

Just, you know,

thinking about what I need to do...

Where I'm headed.

Where you're headed?

Well, you know what I see?

Jail time in a damn
straitjacket, ok?

Come on, man, here.

Put.. Put the fry down.


You're right.

Ah, man, you want
the rest of this food?

'Cause I ain't hungry.

Hell no.

I work here.

I know better than to eat
this nasty shit.

Besides, you need to, man.

Lookin' like you been losing weight.

Yeah, got to eat.

Just needs some more
ketchup on it, though.

Well, then here, kill yourself.

♪ Come to me ♪

♪ Come to me ♪

♪ Don't be afraid ♪

♪ Come to me ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Come to me ♪


What the hell you doing here?

Actually, trying to keep
from getting all greasy.

But I guess I should give you points

for having a job at all.

Somebody's got to flip burgers,

huh, Clyde?

That's real funny.

You need an application?


So, why don't you get off my table

and, um, have a seat?

Thank you.

See, I'll have you know

that I'm one of the youngest
King James managers

in this part of the country.


And in a few years,
I'll be district manager.


And then I'm going to buy
my own franchise.

So you don't have to come here
talking that smack.


Oh, well, um, excuse me.

Actually, I'm kind of impressed.

I didn't take you

for the ambitious type, Clyde.

Oh, that's because you didn't
take me, remember?

I took you.

Correction: As I recall,

I'm the one who had the last laugh.

Yeah, that's right.

So what the hell do you want?

That shit we did to our friends

was real fucked up.

Now, it was your idea,
so I want to know

what you plan on doing about it.

My idea?

Look, I know it was fucked up,

but it should be

what are we going to do about it?

I'm not feeling this, man.

You ain't feeling this?
You have to feel this,

'Cause this is what you need.

Every year, man,

the association of black
female lawyers

throws this party,
and it's the bomb.

Nothing but good women with
good jobs

looking for a good man.

Some of these fine lawyers
are freaks, too.

Let's go to my boy's room,
get the tickets,

and we're set.

I can't believe I let you
talk me into this.

You know I don't want
to meet anybody, Adina.

You know this.

Brandy, would you trust me?

You will see.

These aren't just men.

These are the creme de la creme.

They're good brothers with
good jobs

looking for good women.

I don't..

And, Baby, you look beautiful.

Now, come on.

We just got to go up
to the 12th floor

and get the tickets from my
girl's room,


Yo, Gus, it be Clyde.

He gave me a key, though,
just in case.


This better be worth it.

♪ Let me know the land
I'll be layin' ♪

♪ Oh, please be here to stay ♪


Ahem, ahem.

Doesn't look like she's in there.

But I have the key. Ok.


It's nice.

Looks like your friend
is expecting company, Hon.

Yep, girlfriend is definitely
living large.

Hey, Bran?

Does that card right
there on the table,

does that have your name on it?

Your friend's name isn't
Brandy, is it?


Girl, it's from Montel.



He's inviting me to dinner.

Stop it, girl.

Whoo, that man is romantical!

Where is he?




Oh... Wow.

Girl, you should see this.


You hear that?

Yeah. Man, maybe they need something.

Ooh, it's a card.

Got your name on it.

Oh, Brandy's invited me to dinner!

Is that right?

Well, don't let me hold you.


Is he in there?



Oh, oh, man.

This must've cost a fortune.

♪ Oh, what I long for ♪

♪ Is to hear you say... ♪

Where is he?

♪ Tell me it's true... ♪

I don't get it.

♪ My heart is longing to hear ♪

♪ We are loved by you ♪

♪ 'Cause what I know... ♪





♪ Tell me you're hungry ♪

♪ You've got to admit it ♪

♪ It's plain to see that we
are in love ♪


Oh, wait, wait, wait.



Dumbo, the other way.


Mm-mmm, Montel?

We need to talk, ok?


Yes, let's talk...






Hear anything now?


Do you hear anything now?

It's a good sign, though.

Mmm, wait, Montel.

Come on now, please?


Let's talk.



Let's talk.

I'll go first.

First, thanks for the invite.





I should be thanking you
for the invitation.

I, uh...

I.. I didn't write this.

And I didn't write this.



The both of 'em.
The both of 'em.

Dang, I don't hear nothing, man.

That's 'cause my boy's probably
already up in there

wearing it out.



What the hell is wrong with you?

Know how much this stuff
costs in here?

Trying to kill the damn door.

I'm saying, y'all two..

Y'all some ungrateful


What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with us?

What is the big deal
setting us up like that?

Dig this, ok?

You guys are so unhappy apart,

we figured, you know,
you might need some help.

Hey, man, look,

I don't need any help

to be with somebody who
doesn't trust me, ok?

Wrong thing to say.

And I don't need any help

being with somebody

that I can't trust.

Look, what you saw was what
you didn't see.

What are you talking about?!

I know what I saw!

I saw you with that big-butt heifer!

You got way more butt
than her, anyhow.

Look how big your butt is.

It's big.

I don't mean it like that.

It's good butt, but it's big.

Yo! Yo! Hey!

This ain't the way this shit happens

in the movies.

I mean, I'm going to tell you

the way this shit is going to
happen, ok?

You two are going to take
your ass in that bedroom,

take them clothes off,

get in that bubble bath,
slosh all around,

drink some of that expensive
champagne that we bought..


And commence to doing some serious,

hard-core reconciliation
fucking up in here!

I want to hear some noises
and see some sweating

and sounds!

Tell 'em, Bull.

I'll see you in the car, Clyde.

See you in the car, Adina.


There's something that, uh..

That I..


D-dina got to tell you something.


Don't touch me.

Uh, eh...

Y'all going to find this real funny.

Especially you, Montel,

'cause you got a good sense..

It's hot.


Well, um, this isn't the first time

me and him done set you all up.



Well, I got this partner
named Joe.

You know, that Joe know everybody.

Well, he knew what Veronica did

for a living.


Hey, look, man, it was
for your own good, ok?

Y'all were moving so fast.

Wait. Clyde, you set me up!


You paid for Veronica to get
with me.

Oh, man.

And you...

You sent me over there

to bust in on him?!

Oh ho ho ho!

Oh, this is classic.

Oh ho. Oh.

You know what?

As far as I'm concerned,

you two are some lowdown, trifling...

Diabolical, backstabbing...

Tired, evil...



Ign'ant! Ign'ant somebodies!


I mean, we know that,

but we meant well.



Montel, look, um,

let's.. Let's go,

'cause if I stay here any longer,

I'm gonna kill this heifer.

What about the room?

Think you know what you can do

with the room, Clyde,

and I bet it'll fit.


Montel, maybe Clyde and Adina
were right.

This would've never have happened

if we really knew each other.

Maybe the people we didn't
know was...

Clyde and Adina.


I'm sorry I didn't trust you, ok?

It's just...

I been dealing with a lot of
jerks, and...


Ok. Ok.

You don't treat me

like the jerks you dated,

and I won't treat you

like the tired women I dated.



Wait a minute, now.

I'm not the only bad guy here.


I'm sorry.

I know that I shouldn't
have allowed myself

to get in that position.

No, you shouldn't have.

I know.

I'll show you the position
for you.


Why am I always being pushed away?

Ho ho. Sorry.

I'm sorry, Baby.

No, it.. It's just that it's..

It's Friday night.


♪ They're gonna be... ♪

♪ Dancin' ♪

Ooh, yeah, girl.

That was good, Baby.

Think they're ever gonna
forgive us?

Well, Brandy's your girl, right?

And, you know, y'all been
knowing each other forever.


Montel and I, we been
knowing each other

Since we was like yea high, so...

Yeah, they'll.. They'll probably...

Yeah, they'll speak to us again.

Just might take a few days,
you know.

Or weeks.

Shit, years ain't out of the question.

Damn, we was wrong, huh?

Yeah, we was wrong,

but, man, I'm saying it's not like

we didn't try to make it up.

Look. We bought this fly room

and rented all this stuff in here.

Yeah. This shit wasn't cheap, either.

You telling it.

Cheap? We got a bed
full of rose petals.

Bed full...
Jacuzzi in the bath..

Bubble bath, all bubbling up,
you know.

Kristal. Not just any old champagne.

We got Kristal.

That's some champagne.

Somebody got to be doing

a little something.

Girl, what we gonna do with
all this?

Now you know the only reason

why I'm doing this

is 'cause I got money invested.

We went in all half on this one,

so I want my money's worth.

Money's worth?

You gonna get your money's worth.

Come on.
Let's do that damn thing, Daddy.

Let's get ready to have the bug.


Do that thing.
Do it.

Do it! Ooh ooh!

Ooh ooh!

Do it, Daddy.

Do it, Daddy.

Do it.


We can still dance.

Uh, I guess it would be nice

If we had some music, huh?

We can make our own music.

♪ I thirst, but never quench ♪

♪ I know the consequence ♪

♪ Feeling as I do ♪

♪ We're in a spinning top ♪

♪ Where, tell me, will it stop? ♪

♪ And what am I to say? ♪

♪ There's, in your silent night ♪

♪ Joy of a soul's delight ♪

♪ 'Cause I'll write a song
for you ♪

♪ You'll write a song for me ♪

♪ We'll write a song ♪

♪ Of love ♪

♪ Of ♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Ah ah ah ♪

♪ We'll write a song of love,
my baby ♪

♪ Write a song of love ♪

♪ We're ♪

♪ We're on a spinning top ♪

♪ We write a song, we write a song ♪

♪ We write a song! ♪

Well, I guess we, uh...

Were taking it kind of fast, huh?


So let's take it slow this time.


Real slow.

♪ Love ♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ Our love... ♪

Man, it's funny how things happen.

They say love is unpredictable,

and when you least expect it,

you need to expect it.

♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ Yes, I am ♪

♪ Whoo ♪

♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ Hey, Baby, hey, you know I am ♪

♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ Uh-huh, you know I am ♪

♪ Friends all wonder what's
come over me ♪

♪ I'm as happy as any girl
could be... ♪

I'm telling you, man,
you're gonna be next.

Oh ho, no.

Why I got to follow in your
crazy footsteps?

Nah, nah, nah.
Me and Brandy,

We taking it slow, all right?

I'm telling you, man,

now that Brandy's girl is married,

she's gonna be ready, too.

N-no. Look, man,

she's in no more of a rush
than I am.

In fact, she has shown no indication

of even talking about it, so,
you know,

don't even try to jinx me,
all right?

All right.
All right.

I want to take my time.

I don't care if I ever get m..

They're throwing the bouquet.

Throwing the bouquet.



♪ I'm in love, I'm in love ♪

♪ I'm in love, I'm in love... ♪

No! Aah!


♪ I'm in love! ♪

♪ Love, love, love ♪

♪ And I know it ♪

♪ I wake up smilin' and shinin' ♪

♪ I'm in love! ♪

♪ Smilin' out of love! ♪

♪ No use to blow a fuse ♪

♪ 'Cause I refuse to battle
with you ♪

♪ My stare will elevate ♪

♪ Before I break down my new town ♪

♪ South Central to Oakland ♪

♪ You got my beats, are smokin' ♪

♪ Drivin' me down like Martin ♪

♪ Callin' my name, are scopin' ♪

♪ Lookin' for me, poor baby? ♪

♪ I'm on that next level ♪

♪ Learn from en vogue ♪

♪ I need space like a ship ♪

♪ Cease in seconds ♪

♪ Stop confusin' your feelin's ♪

♪ 'Cause what we got is cool ♪

♪ Relax, I'm into chillin' ♪

♪ Think you're gonna turn my
world upside down? ♪

♪ Upside down ♪

♪ Upside down ♪

♪ Tellin' me that you don't care ♪

♪ Or you don't wanna be around ♪

♪ No, I can't go for that ♪

♪ No way, oh, ah ♪

♪ No, I'm not a fool ♪

♪ Tell me what you want ♪

♪ 'Cause I don't understand
what to do ♪

♪ I don't know what to do ♪

♪ Tell me, won't you, girl? ♪

♪ I don't know ♪

♪ It's drivin' me crazy ♪

♪ Playin' with you, girl ♪

♪ So, please,
won't you please tell me ♪

♪ What you're gonna do ♪

♪ What you're gonna do ♪

♪ I don't know ♪

♪ In my mind ♪

♪ Now, if you look inside of
my heart ♪

♪ and you will see there is pain ♪

♪ Now, I would do anything ♪

♪ That you want me to do ♪

♪ Just say it ♪

♪ I don't know ♪

♪ Won't you, please? ♪

♪ Dealin' with you, girl ♪

♪ What do--oh! ♪

♪ Drivin' me crazy ♪

♪ I'll work it out ♪

♪ About you, girl ♪

♪ See, please,
won't you please tell me ♪

♪ Oh! ♪

♪ What you're gonna do ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ What you're gonna do ♪

♪ Ahh, mmm, Babe ♪

♪ Oh, no ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ You don't have yo worry
'bout nothin' ♪

♪ Whatever you want, it's me ♪

♪ yeah ♪

♪ And all I know,
I'm a-never let you go ♪

♪ You've gotta know
I'll always be there ♪

♪ Let me know ♪

♪ Let me know how you feel, Baby ♪

♪ You're the only one ♪

♪ I would give all my time to ♪

♪ Let me know what to do for you ♪

♪ To make you see ♪

♪ I will give all my life to ♪

♪ When you are feelin' down ♪

♪ You know you can call me ♪

♪ And I will make you see ♪

♪ Make you see I love you ♪

♪ There will be nobody to do
you like me ♪

♪ You gotta know I'll always
be there ♪

♪ Let me know ♪

♪ You don't have to worry
'bout no one else ♪

♪ No more worries, no ♪

♪ All you have to do is just
think of me ♪

♪ I'm your friend, friend, friend ♪

♪ Let me know how you feel, Baby ♪

♪ You're the only one ♪

♪ I would give all my time to ♪

♪ Let me know what to do for you ♪

♪ To make you see ♪

♪ I will give all my life to ♪

♪ Let me know how you feel, Baby ♪

♪ You're the only one ♪

♪ I would give all my time to... ♪