Split Second Murders (2009) - full transcript

Luk, a struggling comic book artist who embarks on a hellish day of happenstance. In the morning he wakes up to discover that his girlfriend Julia has left him, and the rest of the day isn't much better. While attempting to land a job with a questionable triad-owned publishing firm, Luk encounters lots of conflict, usually involving people who get pissed at one another before resorting to deadly violence. The conflicts range from small and direct to large and ironic. Apparently, luck does not seem to be with Luk today.

Why are there so many people dying today?

Name: Luk You Wei
Sex: Male

Cause Of Death: Unnatural Death

Total Accumulated Time On Earth:
8320 Days, Six Hours, Seven Minutes

Luk You Wei:
On the night of the 8319th day

Luk, dinner is ready.

Coming.

- Hurry up.
- I'm almost done.

Give me a minute.

Just one minute.

Hello?



Yes. Yes, speaking...

Tomorrow afternoon?

Yes, OK... no problem...

Yes, I understand...

I'll bring all my work
to your comic company tomorrow.

May I have your address please?

Yes, IFC.

Yes, I know where it is...

The IFC in Kwun Tong?

Yes, I know where that is too...

Room 1804 to Room 1808.

Yes, and I've to use the door
at Room 1806, no problem.

Yes, it's very clear...

Thank you...



Dinner is ready. Julia.

I'll be out in a minute.

Julia.

Julia?

Oh no!

This is bad!

This is really bad.

Hello, Julia?

Yes, there's only one set of lingerie left
in the drawer.

So I'm wondering if a sex maniac broke in
while we were sleeping last night...

and stole all your lingerie
except for this set?

Fortunately, this is my favourite set.

No way, Julia doesn't like me
being so frivolous.

Julia, could you spare me
a few minutes of your time?

Yes, I want to offer you
my most sincere apology.

Yesterday night, I missed our big day.

But that's because today
is a very important day for me.

Today is the day that my career
and my fate will change for the better.

It sounds good, that's it then.

Hello?

Julia...

Sorry.

I'm in the midst of moving now.

I'll call you later.

You should be getting ready
to go to the publisher.

How did you know that
I'll be going to the publisher?

I overheard your conversation
and I guessed it.

You're always having stomach gas.

You'd better eat something
before you go to the publisher.

When the stomach gas
travels upwards, you'll burp.

When the stomach gas
travels downwards, you'll fart.

Both will cause you embarrassment.

Hey, the reception is bad here.
I'll call you later, bye.

Spongy Chicken!

- Can I have one please?
- OK, just a second...

It's hot... here you go.

Thank you.

- Hey, this is my bill!
- Sorry!

- Here's my bill.
- OK, thank you.

The Spongy Chicken looks good.
Can I have one too?

OK, be careful, it's hot.
Give me your bill, please.

Thank you.

The fish maw is delicious.

You're such a lazy bum, you don't
bother to expand your knowledge.

Fish maw is expensive,
they don't use fish maw in this dish.

That's just pig's skin.

It's pig's skin?

The piece de resistance of
the Spongy Chicken is the ham.

If you like ham so much...

why don't you go to the cafe opposite
and order a ham steak instead?

You came to a tea house and ordered
Spongy Chicken just for the ham?

Did I tell you
not to eat the other ingredients?

I'm just telling you to eat the ham first.

You still don't get what I'm trying to say.

The chicken in this dish is obviously
just leftovers from yesterday.

And this is pig's skin instead of fish maw.

So the ham is the most precious ingredient.

- Am I right, kiddo?
- Yes...

You're wrong!

The piece de resistance of
the Spongy Chicken is the fish maw.

The fish maw is a spongy tissue.

It absorbs all the essence and juices
from the ham and chicken.

That's why it's called Spongy Chicken.

- Am I right, kiddo?
- You're right...

I told you it's not fish maw,
it's pig's skin!

Kiddo, do you think
it's pig's skin or fish maw?

Answer me!

Well, it's a spongy tissue anyway.
Please don't argue anymore.

Well, why don't you put a sponge in
and wait for it to absorb all the juices...

and then you can just eat the sponge.
Stupid!

I don't want to argue with
a moron like you anymore.

You can have your spongy tissue!

Enjoy your ham, Pig!

Eat your spongy tissue!

- I'm warning you...
- What?

You'd better not insult my spongy tissue.

Pick it up!

It's you who insulted my ham
in the first place!

Swallow it and you're not allowed
to defecate it out...

Spongy Chicken...

Go to hell!

Darn you! How dare you hit my head!

Do you mind if we share the cab?
Where are you going?

I'm going to my workplace,
Kowloon Funeral Parlour.

Do you find it inauspicious?

No, not at all.
In fact, you've my utmost respect.

Not only do you serve the people,
you serve the spirits too.

Please go to Kowloon Funeral Parlour first.

Limitless Dream Limited Company
Room 1806

Hi, I'm looking for
the Chief Editor, Mr Chan.

Come in.

Are you Luk?

Yes.

You're Mr Chan, the Chief Editor?

Nice to meet you.

The "Cheat" Editor?

Here are some samples of my drawings.

And I've also prepared
the synopsis of my story.

I've prepared
the traditional Chinese version...

and the simplified Chinese version.

I've also considered
the rest of the Asian markets.

So I've prepared the Japanese version,
the Korean version...

and the English version too...

so that we can send it to Hollywood
in the future.

But I'm a slow reader.

Don't worry, I can talk very fast.

Then you tell me the story.

- I'm going to start now...
- Go ahead.

This is a story...

This is a story
with a bright and cheerful beginning...

but with a dark and eerie ending.

Please continue.

This is a story with
a bright and cheerful beginning...

but with a dark and eerie ending.

It's a story about
the impermanence of life.

That's why everybody
should buy insurance.

The Conquest

Mrs Ho, it's really unfortunate that
your husband has passed away.

But fortunately, he bought insurance
from our company.

However... unfortunately...

his insurance agent, Mr Kwan,
also passed away last week.

But I've taken over the case now.
So you don't have to worry.

Mrs Ho, the death benefit
of your husband has been issued.

- Mummy, it's HK$1 million.
- You're right.

Yes, a husband who makes plans for his
family, even if he's not around anymore...

can still illustrate the benefits
of a life insurance plan.

It makes an unfortunate event
less unfortunate.

My husband had always
disliked insurance agents...

except for Mr Kwan.

Mr Kwan had really been a great help to us.

By the way, how did Mr Kwan die?

He was crushed by a sick tree
which collapsed on him.

Sick tree collapses,
crushes a passer-by to death

That's why there's the saying that
life is impermanent.

The only constant thing in life is death.

But if you buy insurance,
you'll be guaranteed to win.

Mr Kwan had indeed helped us
to win a lot of things.

Why do good men have to die young?

My husband had no friends.

Mr Kwan was the only one
who remembered his birthday...

and he sent him a birthday card every year.

He was really thoughtful.

Actually, Mr Kwan could have done
much more than this.

If he had persuaded your husband
to take up a larger policy...

then your husband's death
would be more worthwhile.

We can only rely on each other
from now on.

That's exactly the reason why
you need an insurance plan now.

Are you trying to sell insurance to me now?

I'm asking the both of you
to buy insurance.

If anything happens to you, your son
will have a sum of money to rely on.

If anything happens to your son,
at least you'll still get a cheque.

You have to consider the accident
and life insurance plans for children.

If you read the newspaper now, you'll
find many accidents involving children...

such as the accidental consumption
of acid, shampoo...

and melamine contaminated milk...

sudden death when playing video games...

broken fingers caused by
a slamming door...

Mummy!

head caught by a portable desk,
eye pierced by a pencil and...

strangled by the strings
of the window blinds.

That's why life is really
impermanent and unpredictable.

Look, that guy dropped a HK$1,000 note.
He's so unlucky.

Look, that other guy is lucky.
He gets to pick up the money.

Look at him, he almost lost his life
trying to pick up the note.

But what I want to emphasise today
is that life is impermanent.

Mrs Ho, there are always expenses
to take care of after a misfortune.

Excuse me.

Hello?

Sis, why don't you come over
to my place for a reunion dinner tonight?

OK... but I need to hang up now.

Hold on...
let me just finish this sentence.

Have you read today's issue
of the Super Tabloid?

I know that Mr Hong Kong contestant
on the cover...

We'll talk about this later.

You have a new car again?

I bought this car
after some careful contemplation.

There's a hole in the ozone layer now.

Really?

This is an environmentally friendly car.

- Where's your old car?
- I took it to a scrap yard.

You took a mint condition car
to a scrap yard...

and you say that's being
environmentally friendly?

Well, Mrs Cheung drives the same car.

Which Mrs Cheung?

The wife of Jackie Cheung.
The salesman told me so.

Is that so?

Hello?

Didn't you receive my text message?
Why didn't you reply?

I have an appointment tonight.

Appointment? With who?
Where are you going? For what?

We're having a reunion dinner tonight,
what's more important than that?

OK... text your sister's address to me.

Please start the dinner first.
Don't wait for me.

Bye.

The car engine is really quiet.

I can hear my brother-in-law's voice clearly.

I've brought some
red packet envelopes for you.

Are they from your company?

Yes. You're married now...

so you've got to take on
some responsibilities.

Don't always rely on others.
You have to be more mature.

But I don't think these are
really suitable for me.

Why? You're not going
to give out red packets?

I'd like to use those with
my husband's surname printed on them.

I'm so fortunate to be married
to such a good husband...

and I've adopted his surname.

He's a dentist, and he's rich and handsome.

I don't need to work at all, I feel like
the luckiest woman in the world.

I really have to thank heaven
for giving me such a rich husband.

Well, forget it if you don't want them.
I'll take them back.

I want them, what makes you think I don't?

I'll use these envelopes for those
red packets under a hundred dollars.

For those over a hundred dollars, I'll use
the envelopes with my husband's surname.

People will know that
I give out generous red packets.

I see.

Aren't we going to your house?

This is my house! I've just moved in.

Surprise!

How is it? Is it nice?

It's nice!

It's fantastic!

Hey, wait a minute, have you bought
home insurance yet?

Of course I'm going to buy it from you.
I have to support my sister.

If you didn't support me
for my education...

I wouldn't have met my dentist husband
in the university.

Actually, it'd be great if the whole family
could dine together in this huge house.

But Mum and Dad are too stubborn.

They always like to compare
my husband with yours.

- Hubby!
- Honey!

Sister-in-law!

My husband is so handsome today.

Honey, I've told you to put raw food
in the lower compartment...

and cooked food
in the upper compartment.

Can you rearrange them for me, please?
Thank you!

Honey, dinner is ready,
we can start anytime.

- Let's wait for my brother-in-law.
- OK.

Is it comfortable, honey?

Lower.

Yes... that's the spot.

What are the two of you doing?

My elder sister is here,
let's not do it now.

Oh right...

remember to buy our home insurance
from my sister.

Oh, but I just bought it
from my patient today.

OK... I'll buy an extra one...

I'm unable to take your call now.

Please don't leave any message
if you don't need me to call back.

But Mum and Dad are too stubborn.

They always like to compare
my husband with yours.

Why is your sister
in the toilet for so long?

Let me check on her.

Sister, are you all right?

I'm coming out soon.

- Is your sister all right?
- She's upset.

Go and buy a bottle of soy sauce later,
let me talk to her alone.

I thought you said you were fine.
What took you so long?

Honey, we've run out of soy sauce.

What are you waiting for?
Go and buy it now!

Yes, honey!

Let me go and buy it instead,
I need to buy something anyway.

You'd better watch over my sister.
She's my only sister.

OK.

Sister, follow me!

Since we are sisters,
I'll let you use my favourite handbag.

When you walk down the street with it,
people will be looking at you.

You'll be able to
regain your confidence then.

No, it's OK. My things are all in my bag.

You can just transfer them into my bag.

I said no!

I can just put my whole bag in...

Done.

Watch over my sister.

Is it this one?

- Excuse me.
- Sorry.

Isn't that girl beautiful?

This soy sauce is the one
that your sister uses.

I'm not talking about the girl we just saw.

I'm referring to the girl you had lunch with
at Central District the other day.

But I won't tell my sister about that.

She thinks that she's living in her dream.

Sister-in-law, you're a really good sister.

You don't want to burst her bubble, do you?

Please don't let her find out about this.

I don't have the fortune
to live in a dream.

But I do wish to drive a luxurious
environmentally friendly car.

I don't have so much money.

Just pull more teeth and
you'll be able to have enough money.

Go and get the car.

I'll wait for you
near the garbage bin out front.

Thief...! Why aren't you giving chase?

Hey! Where are you going?

Go and pick up the bag for me.

I can't, I'm scared. Pick it up yourself.

That's your wife's bag!

Hey, are you hurt?

Your bag is inside her bag!

I'm at Harbour Drive...

Miss...

This bag is mine.

He snatched... this bag is mine.

Yes, I'm at...

Have a drink to calm your nerves.

Thank you, honey.

Sister...

- Have a drink.
- Thank you...

- Brother-in-law is here!
- Let me open the door...

- Hello...
- Hello...

- Long time no see.
- How are you?

- Happy New Year...
- Happy New Year...

Do you need to live in such a big house?

- It's necessary...
- Necessary?

- Do I need to take off my shoes?
- It's up to you.

Come and have a seat...

Fatty!

What's the matter, Brother-in-law?

Hey, this is expensive.

Brother-in-law, you're right,
this is indeed quite expensive.

Do you have Danny Summer's
or Tsai Chin's albums?

Well, the food is ready.
Come and have dinner first...

You're going to tell me later, aren't you?
All right...

Sister-in-law, long time no see.

I bet you've taken at least
three hours to set your hair.

You look like a noble lady now.

Noble lady!

Darling.

I've called you a couple of times.

But you didn't answer your phone,
where did you go?

Come on, give me a kiss.

You reek of alcohol.
You went to the nightclub again?

Brother-in-law, have a seat first.

It's rare for the whole family
to be gathered here tonight...

in this huge house
that my husband bought...

so we should enjoy our reunion dinner.

Yes, Brother-in-law,
you can mix the sauces first.

Sure.

Darling, let me do it for you.

I know what you like
and what you don't like.

You know I don't like you going
to the nightclub, why did you still go?

Sister, let me cook your favourite
cheese sausages and cheese balls.

Cheese sausages are very fattening...

and cheese balls are fattening too.

Darling, you're fat too.

Darling, some people look nicer
with some extra pounds...

while some look nicer when they're slim.
I think you look nicer when you're fat.

So you can eat more, trust me, don't worry.

Brother-in-law!

Let me cook some fat beef slices for you.

Darling, so fat and so old.

Shut up!

Don't bother about him, let's eat.

Let's dig in.

I didn't come here for you to slap me!

That's just a misunderstanding between
the two of you, don't take it to heart.

Don't take it to heart?
Can I take it to the cheese balls then?

Actually I'm really starving.
Let's dig in first, shall we?

Let me make it clear, if she doesn't
apologise to me, I will leave now!

- I'm going to leave now!
- Why should I apologise to you?

I was having fun dancing with beautiful
models at the nightclub just now.

Now I'm suffering with you people here
and I can still tolerate that.

Yes, it's wrong of me to be
drinking and dancing with girls.

But you don't have to humiliate me
in front of your sister and her husband!

You know I hate you going
to those nightclubs, yet you still went!

You know I hate dining together
with them, yet I still came!

What's wrong with them?

It's you who told me
your sister and her husband...

What's wrong with you?

How dare you hit my sister!

- Shame on you for hitting a woman!
- Sis, are you all right? Are you hurt?

- I can't hit a woman? Stand still!
- Hubby, hit him!

Hubby, are you all right?

- How dare you hit my husband!
- Sorry, I...

That's enough...

I'm going to retaliate...

Look at the mess you've made, scumbag!

You're the moron who started this!

- Scumbag!
- How dare you throw things at me!

Scumbag!
How dare you shift the blame to me!

How dare you throw things at me!
Go to hell!

How dare you bully my sister!

Go to hell...

Don't come any closer...
I'll stab you to death!

Are you afraid now? I'll stab you to death!

I hate people throwing
cheese sausages at my head!

I'll stab you to death...

- Stop it!
- What?

Aren't you going to help?

- Why did you stab my armpits?
- How dare you bully my sister...

You wretched woman...

Why did you stab my armpits?

Get lost!

You wretched woman...

That's enough! What are you doing?

You tried to blackmail me?

Here's your environmental friendly car!

Honey!

What's the matter?

Are you all right?

You wanted to splash hot water on me?

You know what you have done.

Why did you attack my sister?

She blackmailed me.

Why did you blackmail my husband?

He's cheating on you,
and you're being kept in the dark.

Why are you cheating on me?

Am I not good enough?

You love your Hi-Fi system more than me.

You are a scumbag!

You are an idiot!

Why did you hurt my wife?

Let me tell you the truth.

I've already given you face by acting like
a good husband in front of others.

I played nice in front of nobodies
like your sister and brother-in-law.

What else do you want from me?

What did you say?

Do you know what you're talking about?

Of course I do.

I can even say that again in reverse, witch!

You called me a witch?
Why did you marry me then?

You cheated me into this marriage.

Before we got married, you told me
you would be a virtuous wife.

After we got married,
you turned out to be a spendthrift!

You're always changing your car...

do you know how many Hi-Fi systems
I've had to give up because of you?

When we were getting married,
your parents extorted my money.

After we got married,
you siphoned off my money.

Now when I want a divorce,
your sister tried to blackmail me.

Everyone in your family is a thief...

Darn your whole family!

Darn you!

How dare you...

Go to hell!

How dare you insult my dad?

How dare you insult my mum?

How dare you scold us...

How dare you accuse us...

Darn it...

Darling, take me to the ER now
or I'm going to die.

- It hurts.
- I'm sorry, hubby.

- It hurts.
- Let's go to hospital now.

Don't touch the chopsticks...

Sister, wait for me...

He won the fight but lost his family.

The brother-in-law sat alone
in the house with remorse.

Can you arrange for someone
to die in this story?

OK...
which character do you want dead?

Anyone will do, the story will be
more appealing to the masses this way.

Well...

How about this?

A dysfunctional family fights
during reunion dinner.

Is this ending
more appealing to the masses?

The higher the death toll,
the more appealing it is to the masses.

Sure... even I can die too if you want.

I'll discuss with my boss about this,
I'll call you again.

Thank you...

What is this?

This is the police emergency report centre.

Police, help...

someone threw some
bottles of liquid down from above.

The bottles contained corrosive liquid
and many people were hurt.

The liquid was splashed
all over the floor...

Sir, where is your location now?

IFC.

But it's not the IFC in Central,
it's in Kwun Tong.

Kwun Tong IFC?

Sir, do you know that you can be charged...

for making a prank call
to the police emergency report centre?

The report centre is for reporting
emergency cases, not for prank calls.

I'm not making a prank call.

I'm just trying to help others.
I'm a good citizen.

I've joined the Junior Police Call
since I was six...

and I've recorded every episode...

of the Junior Police Call programme.

You're now accusing me
of making a prank call?

I didn't get hurt, my family members
didn't get hurt either.

I made the effort to call the police...

Miss, can I borrow your phone?

That man over there has a phone.

Sir, can I borrow your phone
to call the police?

I'm talking to the police right now.

I'll let the victim talk to you directly.

Hello? Is this the police?

Sir, thank you.

Thank you.

- The ambulance will be here soon.
- You're welcome...

Bye.

Aren't you going to accompany me
till the police arrive?

You're a man, you don't need me
to accompany you.

- But you need to give your testimony.
- It's so troublesome?

Your phone was used to call the police,
they can trace your identity easily.

- Don't run away!
- I don't know anything...

Hello?

- May I speak to Luk, please?
- Who are you?

I'm Ling Ling,
Luk's primary school classmate.

So it's you, Ling Ling! You're so lucky!

I wouldn't be able to answer your call
if you had called ten seconds later.

- Are you all right?
- I'm fine...

In that case, remember to attend
my wedding banquet tonight.

We haven't met for years, so you've
no excuse for not attending my wedding.

Come and see
if I'm marrying the right man.

Sure... I will be there!

I need to apply makeup now.
I have to hang up now, see you tonight!

OK, see you tonight.

Remember to cancel
my old phone service now.

Remember to write down clearly
that I've lost my phone.

Here, it's done.

This is your new phone.

The SIM card is already inside.

Your new phone number is...
remember it...

64897123.

The service will be activated
in an hour's time.

What? I need to wait for an hour?

Can I borrow your phone
to make a call first?

I need to inform my girlfriend
about my new phone number.

I already have a girlfriend.

I can't answer your call now.
Leave your message after the beep.

Hello? Julia?

No, it's nothing urgent,
I just changed to a new phone...

- I want to tell you...
- The voice mailbox is already full.

Thank you.

Can I have the receipt?

Please go to Yin Yang Restaurant
at Kowloon City.

Hello?

Mr Chan?

Yes, I'm Luk.

Yes, I'm still waiting for your call.

I just wanted to inform you that
I've lost my phone.

So my new phone number is 64897123.

Yes...

I'll text you my new phone number later.
Thank you...

This afternoon at around 4.00pm
in Kwun Tong...

someone threw corrosive liquid
down from a building.

More than 20 passers-by
were injured by the corrosive liquid.

The police are now investigating every
household in the buildings of that area.

No suspect has been arrested yet.

Police are appealing for witnesses
to call the police hotline 87654321.

In this incident, a male victim who
was hit on the head by a hard object...

was unfortunately ran over
by an ambulance rushing to the scene...

and he died on the spot.

A homicide case occurred this morning
in a tea house in Kowloon City.

Two men quarrelled
over a plate of Spongy Chicken.

One of them was hit on the head
by a hard object, resulting in his death.

A suspect has been detained
by the police for further investigation.

Argument over Spongy Chicken
turned into a fatal fight

What? Isn't it ridiculous?

- Excuse me, I'm getting off here.
- OK.

HK$58, thank you.

- Here's HK$60, keep the change.
- Thank you.

Why are you honking?
Are you rushing to hell?

- Why did you slam my car?
- Are you rushing to hell?

Are you rushing to hell?

Taxi driver and truck driver
fought on the road

Hey, kid.

Never mind that you're smoking...

and looking at
pornographic magazine in public...

but please have the decency to
change out of your school uniform first.

It's none of your business.

Honey!

Hey...

It's fine if you want to kiss in public...

but for heaven's sake, please don't
touch her breast in public...

this is a public area after all.

It's none of your business.

Hello? OK... I'll come up now.

They're so heavy!

Everybody please stand closer, thank you...

Excuse me, the two of you are blocked,
please stand out here.

No... go back behind.

It's a video, I need some motion.

When I say "action",
then you walk out, OK?

- Can you stand here?
- I don't want to stand beside him.

Miss, if you don't want to stand beside
him, just walk away when I say "action".

The front row, please stand up first.

That's right,
sit down after I count to three.

Action!

Come on, move.

It's a waste of time and money
to hold this wedding banquet.

The bridegroom said that we're free
to order crab stick cup noodles.

Because crab meat noodles are sold out.

He shouldn't get married if he's broke.

He can always go to Dongguan
to find mistresses, enjoy beer...

it's like marrying a new wife every day,
wouldn't it be better?

It's all right... just do it again.

How long do you think
their marriage will last?

I've consulted a prophet about it.

They will divorce within 49 days.

Which prophet did you consult?

Mr Profit.

Chan & Lee's Wedding

They don't want to sit together,
what should I do?

- They should just sit at the head table.
- A guest is here...

- Welcome!
- Welcome!

I'm the primary school classmate
of the bride.

Please sign your name here.

Please proceed to table nine.

Here's a little gift
for the bride and bridegroom.

Cut...

Sorry, I didn't manage to capture it.
Please do it again.

Action!

Here's a little gift
for the bride and bridegroom.

Hey, please give your blessings
to the newly-weds, thank you.

I wish that the two of you
will live happily ever after.

Till death do you part.

You little brat! I asked you to pee
just now but you continued playing.

When you couldn't hold it any longer,
then you came crying to me.

- Just do what you did last time.
- I don't want to pee into the sink.

Why...

Why is it not me?

- Congratulations...
- Thank you...

I'm Luk, your wife's
primary school classmate.

Thank you for coming...
please help yourself to the drinks.

Continue talking. Just pretend that
I'm not here, be more natural.

You are great...

I wanted to invite your wife to drink
"Vitasoy" when we were young...

I tried for six years
but I couldn't get close to her.

What a pity!

So you're great.

Where's your wife?

She said that she's tired...

she needs to change and put on makeup.

- Welcome!
- Welcome!

Are you from the bride's side
or bridegroom's side?

I'm the bridegroom's ex-girlfriend,
so what do you think?

- All right...
- Bridegroom!

I want to congratulate you.

Please film my mother first.

Thank you.

I thought you said you wouldn't come?
Why are you here?

Are you surprised?

Did you forget about your promise
that you'll marry me?

Why don't you join
a game of mahjong now?

I know what I lacked.

Miss, what size are you looking for?

36D.

Did you say D or C?

Go get a G cup bra for this lady.

- G?
- That's right...

if you wear a G cup bra, you'll look
better with some accessories.

Come look at them.

This is sponge bra pad,
it's cheap and economical...

but I feel that it's too thick
and uncomfortable during summer.

So some customers would prefer
to pay a bit more for this...

- Silicone pad.
- What is this?

It's made with silicone, the material
that's used for breast implants.

Try touching it.

It feels very genuine.

Yes, if you wear a T-shirt or blouse,
you can use the full moon pads.

If you wear a strapless dress,
you can use the half-moon pads.

If you wear a low cut dress,
you can use the new moon pads.

We're having a promotion now.

You can get all three types of pads
in a single box.

You can wear them for any occasions...

and you don't have to worry about
being judged negatively.

They will definitely help
to regain your confidence.

I'll give you a 20% discount.

I'll take it!

Do I look different today?

You put on heavy makeup today.

Look lower.

Let me introduce my friend to you.

I'm Luk.

I'm Marietta.

The two of you should play
a game of mahjong to break the ice.

How can we play mahjong
when there's only the two of us?

Buddy...

You can't find anyone to play mahjong?
Well, both of them can join your game.

Let me go find one more person.

Don't bother.

Cola, why don't you come over
and play mahjong with me?

Are you worried about losing to me again?

What did you say, Luk Po?
You think I'm afraid of you?

By the way,
what are the three of you working as?

Why? Is that related to mahjong?

Well, I'm working in the arts industry.

So I like to interact with people
from all walks of life.

I'm a tourist guide.

- Hong Kong Kowloon!
- Hong Kong Kowloon...

- We love Hong Kong!
- We love Hong Kong...

I'm a dance teacher.

- Good toes.
- Good toes...

- Naughty toes.
- Naughty toes...

- Pluck the flower.
- Pluck the flower...

- Pick the star!
- Pick the star...

I'm a nurse in a plastic surgery clinic.

I'm very scared.

Don't be scared, injecting Botox
is very common nowadays.

No, I'm scared of those paparazzi
waiting outside. How do I leave later?

Mrs Cheung, don't worry about it.
I have a solution.

Just lie down and get the injection first.

Are you sure they won't recognise me?

Put on this wig and your disguise
will be perfect, let me help you.

No one can recognise you now.
I'll take you out through the back door.

Your job is very unique.

You must have seen a lot of
the weaknesses of human nature.

This is my name card.

Wait, I've just changed my phone number.

This is my new number.

Let's meet up for tea when you're free...

so that you can tell me some stories
to spark my creativity.

- Who's going to throw the dice?
- Me.

It's your turn.

What's the matter? Looking for friends?

No, I'm just wondering why the bride
is taking so long to get changed.

I haven't seen any of
my primary school's classmates.

Primary school's classmates?
Their looks would have changed.

How could you be able to recognise them?

Win on self-draw, one suit.

How are you able to win so soon?
Are you cheating?

- What did you say?
- What?

You always use underhand methods!

You're the one
who snatched away my Angelina Baby.

Tell me, are you thinking of her
when you're kissing me?

Who is she?

What's wrong with you?

Luk Po said you always hide
in the toilet to look at her.

This book isn't mine!

Angelina Baby!

To: Luk Po

Luk Po!

Sorry to interrupt...
may I know who Angelina Baby is?

She's the one
who snatched away the bridegroom.

Peter...

Are you going to marry me?

I have something for you.

You've even got
the wedding invitation card ready?

Let me give you a kiss.

Angelina and Peter?

You're going to marry that witch?

Why?

I have no choice,
she's pregnant with my baby.

Didn't you say that
she has already aborted the baby?

Yes, but...

she's pregnant again.

How could you do that?
You're such a scumbag!

That's a really complicated relationship
among the three of you.

Just like entangling lines
in a relationship chart.

Miss, they are just pretending
to console you.

- In fact they're trying to harm you.
- What did you say?

You're bringing her bad luck by tapping
her shoulder when playing mahjong.

You'd better watch your words...

Although we've just met...

I can fully understand your sorrow.

Because my girlfriend
dumped me this morning too.

Here's a pack of tissue paper, I hope
it can help to alleviate your sorrow.

A guy who brings tissue paper
is a very considerate guy.

Your girlfriend doesn't know
how to appreciate you.

It's your girlfriend's loss to dump you.

Hello?

Have you created trouble
at the wedding banquet yet?

I haven't seen that witch yet.

I'm now playing mahjong.

Let's talk about you instead.

I've a very caring and considerate guy
to introduce to you.

Hold on.

Are you kidding?

He passes,
so you can give the phone to me.

He's too shy.
I'll text you his phone number later.

He's a caring and considerate guy
who brings tissue paper.

- Seriously?
- An outstanding young man.

Stop joking around with me!

I'm hanging up now, I need to
play mahjong to relieve my stress.

- Bye.
- Bye.

A caring and considerate young man
who brings tissue paper.

Phone number: 64897123

Six pairs and a half!

They're all in pairs. This is so insulting!

You can go for an all pong hand.

Are you adding insult to my injury?
I won't go for an all pong hand.

I dare you to break them up then.

- I'll break you up!
- Pong!

- Break you up!
- Pong! South!

Are you kidding me?
Now's the saddest moment in my life...

and you want to win with
"big four happiness"?

Are you guys collaborating
to make a fool of me?

Of course not...

Bystander, is he trying to win
with "big four happiness"?

Is he?

It's not right for you people
to ask me this question...

and it'll be wrong for me
to answer the question.

Hey lad...

if someone discards an honour tile
later and you declare a win...

remember to declare it loudly and clearly.

Look at the camera,
and remember to smile!

Remember to smile.

Don't think so much,
just continue to break them up.

Break you up!

Why are you so nosy?

Just break them up.

- Are you playing or is she playing?
- May I know who is playing now?

I'm playing! I'll break you up!

Break it up again.

I'll break you up!

- Who's the player now?
- You or her?

Six Circle.

I'm not breaking it up anymore!

- Seven Circle!
- I win!

You're so cunning to win
with a Seven Circle tile.

I've to pay him double
for discarding his winning tile?

But luckily it's just
a Chicken Hand with no points.

You're wrong, I have all the flower tiles
and a season tile.

So I've won with three points.

I've lost again...

You've already used up all my tissue paper.

Why don't you leave this place which
is bringing you so much sorrow?

He's right, why are you still staying here?

Why are you allowing people
to rub salt in your wound?

I'm here to do something.

Do what?

Switch the camera off first
and I'll tell you.

OK, I'll stop filming.

- Do you guys know what this is?
- What is it?

Botulinum toxin.

- It sounds toxic.
- It's more commonly known as Botox.

It's used in plastic surgery clinics
to eliminate wrinkles.

- So you administer this in your clinic?
- Well, sort of.

But this vial has been refined,
so it's highly concentrated.

It can kill instantly if it's taken orally.

But I'm still trying to figure out
which dish I should put this in...

so that I won't hurt any children.

According to my experience...

children like to run around
after having the shark's fin soup.

Hurry up...

- You can't do that!
- Why?

Let me do it.

Do you know what this is?

- This is cola.
- Of course not.

I drank the cola last night.

Now, this classic cola bottle contains
highly concentrated flammable liquid.

Is it as powerful as it sounds?
Is there a technical name for it?

What do you know about it?
You failed your chemistry.

You only know how to
snatch away my girlfriend!

Angelina Baby!

When the time comes,
you people find a safe spot to hide.

And you must take a good shot of me.

Sure...

Thank you for coming
to our wedding banquet.

Cheers!

Ladies and gentlemen, I love Angelina Baby!

I'm not trying to pour cold water on you.
But I think you're stupid.

You wouldn't be able see it
even if I've taken a good shot of you.

He's always like this, naive and childish.

Look at what I've prepared.

Please drink to your
heart's content tonight!

- Let's congratulate our newly-weds.
- Congratulations...

OK, ladies and gentlemen,
children and adults...

let's watch the romantic story
of the newly-weds.

Play the clip!

Hurry up...

That guy is not the bridegroom!

Baby!

Isn't it great?

Both of you had better not
try anything funny later.

No one can foil Marietta's plan.

If you kill all my audience, no one will
witness me sacrificing myself for love.

Your method will harm others,
while your method will harm yourself.

My method can harm others and myself,
so it'll do the most damage.

Lad, you'll be the judge here.

You're launching a chemical warfare,
causing pain and suffering to the people.

You are a fool to bring
pain and suffering to yourself.

You're the most evil one. You force
others to watch your obscene video.

It's wicked, tacky and offensive.

Mr Cameraman, I'd like to ask you...

why is there a light
on your pen in your pocket?

- You filmed us secretly?
- You're secretly filming us?

- How dare you filmed us secretly...
- Let me go...

I've got the evidence to prove your crimes.

All of you are going to end up in jail.

- Darn! Darn! Darn!
- Darn you!

Do you dare to say that again?

I won't say that again.

- I'll...
- How dare you...

I'll give it to you!

Go to hell!

I'll send you to hell!

What a scumbag!

Forget that! Let's just go!

Come on!

Go down, instead of up, guys.

What's happening?

Are they filming
or is there a fire up there?

- Is there a gang fight?
- This seems serious...

- Excuse me...
- Luk...

Who are you?

I'm Ling Ling. Why are you
coming down from upstairs?

Chan & Lee's Wedding

I don't know...

- What happened upstairs?
- Congratulations...

May you be blessed with a baby soon.

I'm busy now, please leave
your message after the beep.

Julia!

Julia, it's me.

I don't know what's happening to me,
I encountered so many bad things today.

I think I'm out of luck.

Actually, you left me at the right time.

I don't want you to get hurt because of me.

Anyway, I wish you happiness.

- Julia?
- Hey...

Oh, Mr Chan, it's you.

Come to Against All Odds Club now.

- Club?
- Karaoke!

Is it karaoke or a club?

It's Against All Odds Karaoke Club, OK?

Boss is waiting for you here.

OK, I'll be right there...

Man killed in wedding banquet conflict

When you're down on your luck,
it's hard not to get discouraged

But if you lose all hope

And you drink till you drop every day

Boss, I've been feeling very down lately.

My mother is sick, and I've to pay
for my sister's school fees.

Yesterday, a boss asked me
to be his mistress for three months.

But I can't bear to leave you.

So I'm still considering that offer...

Later, tell your client that
you've been feeling very down...

your mother is sick and you've to pay
for your sister's school fees.

Yesterday, a boss asked you
to be his mistress for three months.

But you can't bear to leave him,
so you're still considering that offer, OK?

30% is predestined

70% depends on your efforts

You've to work hard to succeed in life

Was it nice?

Louder! Clap harder!

Show more enthusiasm!

- Louder!
- Boss, you sing so well!

Boss is over there.

- Did you hear my singing? Am I good?
- Don Guo, you sang so well!

- Of course it's good.
- It's nice...

Get out of the way...

Boss!

Boss...!

- What's the matter?
- He's the cartoonist.

Boss, it's my pleasure to meet you!

So you are the cartoonist?

Well, you do look funny.

Hey, how would you like
to get drunk tonight?

Brandy, red wine, women, cannabis...

we've a lot of things here
for you to enjoy.

Boss is asking you
how you would like to get drunk.

Boss... how about...

can I tell you the story
before I get drunk?

Sure!

Chen, you should learn from him.
This is called professionalism.

Give him a drink.

Aren't you going to thank Boss now?

- Drink up.
- Thank you...

Boss, can I start to tell the story now?

Go ahead...

This is a story that shouldn't
involve any death initially...

but a lot of people dropped dead
like flies in the end.

This is a story with
a bright and cheerful beginning...

but with a dark and eerie ending.

This story talks about
four kinds of people.

The first kind are those who think
they are happy...

but they are actually befuddled.

The second kind are those
who are really happy...

because they are befuddled.

The third kind...

are those who fail to appreciate
how lucky and happy they are.

I'm sure you've heard that before.

The fourth kind are those who
don't know whether they are happy...

because they've never thought of that.

That's the end of the story.

Is it funny?

Is it funny?

Is it funny?

- Is it good?
- Good, it's very good.

OK, report to work tomorrow.

Turn your story into a comic series...

and you can even turn it into
an animated cartoon, am I right?

What are you waiting for?
Hurry up and thank Boss!

- Drink it.
- Drink up!

Cheers!

Cheers!

Cheers!

Hey! Watch it!

Hello? Julia?

I'm so happy now...

Yes... I'm going to have my own comic!

Hello? Why aren't you answering me?

Why are you ignoring me? Are you upset?

But I'm ecstatic now!

I'm going to have my own comic...

Actually I'm really upset...

because I can't live without you...

Sorry, man...

Hey, he was sitting with Don Guo just now.

Nice to meet you...

Donna Dragon!

All of you say hello to Donna Dragon.

Donna Dragon!

All of you say hello to Don Guo too.

Don Guo!

- Get lost!
- Go find yourselves a seat.

Come on, have a drink.

- Is this yours?
- Yes.

Do you still have venereal disease?

Not anymore... I mean I never had that!

Are you trying to start a quarrel?

I'm still trying to find out
who is your cicisbeo.

I said I never had one!

Then why did you kick me out of the house?

I've already told you a thousand times,
I was going through menopause.

That's just an excuse.

I haven't done "that thing"
with anyone for many years.

Tonight, I want to do it with you...

Let's play the finger-guessing game!

- Ten.
- Five.

- Fifteen.
- Ten.

- Five.
- Five.

Drink it!

Hi.

Are these your cigarettes?

Just take the whole pack.

I want to thank you
for what you did just now.

- What did I do?
- You praised my story.

If it's good, I'll say it's good.

Next time, I'll use your name
for a character in my story.

Do you even know my name?

Fong May Fong.

I've something to tell you.

Can we find a quiet place for that?

- What? I dare you to say that again.
- Hello? I'm busy right now.

- What did you say?
- I said a quiet place so we could talk.

- So, what it is going to be?
- Hey, I'm serious about just talking.

I dare you to say that again!
What is it going to be?

What do you want to tell me?

I do have something to tell you, but...

I can't remember the main point.

How are you able to write a story then?

It's because I got distracted.

I remember it now.

What drug did you take? You're so funny.

Fong May Fong, don't do it here.

Where do you want to do it then?

No... don't get me wrong...

What I'm trying to say is
please don't work here anymore.

Do you have money then?

No.

If you have no money, I won't follow you.

- Let me tell you a story then.
- What story?

Once upon a time,
there was a little girl who sold matches.

No... she was actually a princess.

But she didn't know her true identity.

So this princess entered a school
with a bad reputation.

Her classmates were from
different backgrounds...

but all of them were bad influences.

The teachers there
didn't care about her either.

They only knew how to remind her
to pay the school fees.

The princess felt lost and miserable...

she hoped that someone could help her,
but her hope was in vain.

Until one day, she meets a prince.

The prince was very nice to her
and was willing to give her everything.

So the princess was willing
to do anything for the prince.

But, one day...

the prince turned into a frog.

The princess had no choice
but to engage in compensated-dating.

Excuse me, I don't engage in
compensated-dating.

I'm a sex worker.

Then I wish that today is
the last day of work for the sex worker...

she will turn back
into a princess tomorrow.

Why should I listen to you?

My heart.

I guess my wish is not too demanding.

Do you have any demanding wishes?

Yes.

I'd like you to quit smoking
after finishing this pack.

Watch what you're saying.

What do I want? I want to kill you!

- It's occupied.
- You were so rude just now!

It's occupied.

- It's occupied.
- How dare you talk to me in that tone!

Mr Chan.

Sleep tight... I'm going back to work.

What do you want?

What do you mean?

You've never given in to me
all these years.

If I've never given in to you,
would you still be standing here?

I'm the one who spared your life, scumbag.

I'm going to settle this score
with you today!

- I've a score to settle with you too!
- Let's talk inside the room.

Let's go.

Where's the location?

- Tell them to come over now.
- This is urgent, hurry up.

It's at Against All Odds Karaoke...

- No, don't come over yet...
- Wait for further instructions...

Listen up, everyone!

I, Don Guo, have something important
to announce today!

I've been bitterly in love with
Donna Dragon for many years!

Tonight, Donna Dragon
finally agreed to remarry me!

We will hold
the wedding ceremony tomorrow!

Why wait till tomorrow?
Let's get married tonight!

Great!

Starting from tonight,
your boss is my boss...

and my boss is your boss.
We are brothers and sisters!

Our two bosses
are getting married tonight.

So we should celebrate this occasion
by partying the night away!

When you suffer a setback,
it's hard not to be depressed

When you're down on your luck,
it's hard not to get discouraged

But if you lose all hope

And you drink till you drop every day

Then you'll just be like
a scarecrow without a soul

Life can be compared to
the waves in the sea

Good luck or bad luck

You'll still have to get on with life

30% is predestined
70% depends on your efforts

You've to work hard to succeed in life

A caring and considerate young man
who brings tissue paper

Phone number: 64897123

- Run! Fire!
- Run!

The backdoor is locked! Use the front door!

- Hello?
- Hello?

Julia?

You've finally called me!

Hello...?

Can you arrange for someone
to die in this story?

That's why there's the saying that
life is impermanent.

Are you rushing to hell?

Hello?

Sparklers in nightclub causes devastating fire

Dinner is ready.

Give me one minute.

But I'd like the world
to be a better place.

Go live in your dreams then.

I'll just leave them here...

please show them to your boss.

- Spongy Chicken!
- Can I have one, please?

- I don't want it anymore.
- But this is the last one.

I'll let others have it then.

Spongy Chicken!

- Why did you slam my car?
- Are you rushing to hell?

- Are you...
- Brother!

My wife has just given birth!

Give me one minute to finish our work.
I'll leave in one minute.

- Congratulations...
- Thank you...

- You're an adult now.
- Thanks for coming.

Granny, look over here.

Luk!

Ling Ling?

You are so slim now!
I almost couldn't recognise you!

- Congratulations...
- Thank you...

- Where's the bridegroom?
- He's downstairs.

Isn't this the venue for
Chan & Lee's Wedding?

Well, it's such a coincidence today...

all three levels in the building
are Chan & Lee's weddings.

Then why are you here?

The washroom downstairs was packed,
so I used the washroom on this level.

Let's go down...

- Hello?
- Luk? I'm Mr Chan.

I'm in a karaoke now with my boss.

I'll give you one last chance.

Let me ask you again, can you arrange
for someone to die in your story?

I still prefer the world
to be a better place.

Fong May Fong!

Do I know you?

You dropped your student identity card.

- It's yours.
- Thank you.

I like your school uniform.

Don't get me wrong,
I graduated from your school.

I scored two "A"s and four "B"s in the
Hong Kong Certificate of Education Exam.

So the school legend is true.

One has to be self-reliant.

You have to work hard too,
you must try your best.

Julia?

Why aren't there any deaths today?