Spinners: Izzy Lyon - The Unspun Truth (2018) Movie Script

We owe our very existence

to what is essentially sign

spinning.

I am Mordecai Frederick son ton

III,

Professor of Spinthropology here

at the Tuskegee Institute of

Technology.

The essence of sign spinning

is in our very own DNA,

from the colorful dance

of the bird of paradise,

to the common male bullfrog

inflating its vocal sack.

These are the sign spinners

of the evolutionary world.

Spinning is life for me.

I can't think of anything

else I'd rather do.

When I'm up there on stage,

I feel like I'm spinning

for the whole world.

Maybe even the universe.

Or maybe I'm standing still

and the universe is spinning for

me.

It's dope.

Doper than dope.

In 1987, one man changed the

world.

His name was Izzy Lyon

and he was the greatest

sign spinner of all time.

Join us as we take a look behind

the sign

at the forgotten legend who

disappeared

and took the sport of

sign spinning with him.

And cut.

All right, did you like that

one?

There's definitely something

here.

Okay, that's lunch.

Run a half.

Remember, there's no

shame in using cue cards.

Thank you.

Did I look like I

needed cue cards, Rick?

- Yeah, it did actually.

- Thanks, Rick.

Energy people, energy.

This is gonna be great.

Sign spinning is huge.

You nail this,

we're gonna talk about that

spoken word porn doc next.

Good, Rick, we're good.

Yeah.

Great.

♪ You keep it ♪

♪ Spinnin' round, round, round ♪

♪ Everything you do just spins

me round ♪

♪ You keep it spinnin', wow ♪

Mr. Steinbergstein.

Are you Heather?

I am.

Thank you for coming.

Thank you for meeting me here.

I like to think of this place

as my home away from the car.

Let's just get right to it

and maybe just start off

by telling us a little bit

about yourself.

Well, my name is Shecky

Steinbergenstein

and I'm Izzy Lyon's manager.

I have been since day

one and I still am today,

even though I have no idea where

he is.

- When did you first?

- Oh joy.

Mr. 3% tip is here.

Darla.

What'll it be today?

Oh geez, I must have

left my wallet at home.

No, you know what?

We got this.

So, have whatever you think.

Well, in that case,

I'll take the bagel with nova

lox.

Make that in everything

bagel, grilled, not toasted.

And,

are you Jewish?

No.

And then round a bacon for the

table.

I kind of feel guilty

when I don't keep kosher,

but when in Rome.

And a Diet Coke.

I first met Izzy in 1987.

I had just bought a

beautiful brand new used car.

So I'm driving around and I see

this kid

with a very geometrical hair fro

spinning a sign in front of a

shop.

And get this, there was

a massive crowd of people

around him, tossing nickels and

dimes.

So I get outta my car,

I toss a hat in front of him.

I start doing a little barking.

He made $150 in the first hour.

That's when I ran into

his brother, Marcus.

No, that crazy old

man didn't run into me.

He drove into me.

My name is Marcus Lyon,

Lyon with a Y.

And I'm also the brother

of the world's greatest

sign spinner, Izzy Lyon.

Those were the good old days,

right?

My brother would be spinning

signs and I'd be rolling dimes.

That's like slang for picking up

the tips,

'cause he would get a lot of

tips.

But they weren't actually dives.

They were quarters.

Got a silver dollar one time.

I kept that.

You gotta understand,

what Izzy was doing back

then was stuff that nobody

had ever seen before.

I mean he was just, just raw

talent.

You know what I'm saying?

Talent?

Did you say talent?

Then you must be talking about

me.

Oh boy, here comes trouble.

Trouble, I'll give you trouble.

In your ass.

I'm Li'I Marcus Lyon,

the puppet of the brother

of the world's greatest

sign spinner, Izzy Lyon.

After Izzy, you know,

disappeared,

I found myself drawn to comedic

puppeteering performance

with this guy.

And we've had a fair amount of

success.

A five pound block of

government cheese.

It's a good crowd.

Rolling room only.

Izzy schmizzy, I'm tired

of talking about Izzy.

Hey, come on man.

You know what I got to Izzy

don't?

What?

Your hand up my ass.

I'm sorry about him.

He tends to get a little

excited when he has an audience.

Especially when that audience

is a sexy blonde reporter lady.

You ever had a hand up your...

Okay, that's enough.

I'm sorry, that's really

inappropriate.

Everything that we're talking

about,

it all started right here at

Lyon Signs.

Signs.

Growing up, we didn't have much.

We were so

poor, we couldn't pay attention.

You weren't even there.

My pops made a decent living

making signs for local

businesses.

Anybody who needed a

sign, he would make it.

Although some of his work

was considered controversial.

Some of it?

Hm.

Pop liked to work

subtle political references

into his signs.

Wasn't nothin' subtle about it.

Yeah.

Pops used to like to

think that he invented

the black power fist.

Come on, Marcus.

- Do I have to?

- Mm hm.

Izzy's father spent

years teaching the boys

the family business, but

Izzy wasn't interested.

Are you gonna eat that?

No, I kinda lost my appetite.

Well you need some nutrition.

- Oh no.

- Here,

just take a little bite of that.

Look, the airplane into the

hangar.

Come on.

- You're kidding.

- Just a bite.

- That's a big piece of bacon.

Just a little bite, just a tad.

This is like being at the deli.

Izzy didn't wanna be making

signs.

He was too busy spinnin' 'em.

Yeah, but that did

not sit well with Pops.

He didn't like that Izzy

didn't wanna be part

of the family business,

but Mom, on the other hand,

she actually dug it.

Mom had been a majorette in high

school.

That's white

peoples for baton twirler.

And she taught him everything

she knew.

Yeah, like how to abandon a

family.

So after I signed him to my

agency,

I hired him to spin at my car

wash.

Business went bonkers.

The kid was gold.

What would you say was

Izzy's breakout moment?

Feed the children.

From the Poker King Lounge,

the second annual Feed

da Children's telethon,

where I'm told we got

the best entertainers

south of 95th and Pulaski.

The first time I saw

Izzy, it was on the TV.

My name is Mary-Ellen Bower.

I am the founder and president

of the official Izzy Lyon fan

club.

I am also the author of

the ultimate fans guide

to Izzy Lyon.

I was making homes hot venison

stew.

I had just separated the hind

quarters from the carcass

and I saw something that

would forever change my life.

Izzy Lyon.

Welcome back to Chicago's

Feed da Children telethon.

And without further ado, Izzy

Lyon.

When I saw that sign spin around

like a halo of light from the

heavens,

I realized my calling in life.

That was the beginning of the

fan club.

This guy is spin-tacular.

And these phones, they're

ringing off the hook.

Keep calling, send some

money for the kids.

We need to feed the kids.

I knew at that moment,

everything was gonna change.

Izzy was so

incredible at that telethon

that everybody wanted a piece.

You want a piece?

I got a piece.

Where, in your pants?

Don't take my goddamn jokes.

Sorry.

Before I knew it,

I had Izzy booked on every

major news and radio program

in the state of Illinois.

Well, it just

went up and now it's down.

He's caught it and he's still

spinning.

Wow, we wanna spin.

Forget Beatlemania, it's

Izzymania.

Last night sold out

performance was canceled

when fans broke through the

venue's revolving doors.

No one was injured,

although many reported

severe boats of dizziness.

Now at that point,

things got so crazy that Shecky

decided to hire some muscle.

Did Mr. Lyon need protection?

Well,

he did when I was around.

I'm Antoine St. Poupon,

former celebrity protection

specialist to Izzy Lyon.

Hey, that's my crayon.

Just one second.

Dolores, if you keep that up,

you're going to lose your

crayon privileges for a week.

Excuse me.

- What?

Did Dolores take her meds?

Don't worry about it.

- Okay, let me see.

- No, no, no, no.

Stop that.

Stop!

She's new.

He was on television.

Did you ever go on television?

Think about that.

An eternity of boring sausage.

Thank you, Izzy Lyon.

Thank Meatshire Farm.

Meatshire Farm, set your inner

meat free.

I'm not afraid to admit

that I shoved a few of these

in my mouth over the years.

This one here is the

Izzy signature sausage.

So would you consider

sign spinning a sport?

We consider sign spinning

an athletic art form.

My name is Phil Alden.

I'm the historian and curator at

the...

And custodian.

At the Spinternational Hall of

Fame.

They didn't have another

available office.

Right, mother?

On the one hand,

you have muscle and endurance

and rhythm,

complicated moves, precise

balance.

And on the other hand,

you have a beautiful

representation of light and love,

joy and freedom.

See, that's what Izzy Lyon did

as the first superstar of

this international world.

Um, excuse me.

Oh yes, can I help you?

My daughter is just the

biggest sign spinning fan.

Oh, is that so?

Mm hm.

Oh, wow.

How wonderful.

She loves Izzy Lyon.

I love the Lyon king.

Course you do.

Where is his exhibit?

- Oh.

- Good point.

Does he have his own wing or?

Izzy is not represented here.

It's tragic.

But I can talk about it.

But, I wanna see Simba.

Well there's no question Izzy

Lyon

was an incredible spinner,

but it's the official

stance of the Hall of Fame

that he's far too controversial

to be represented here.

My name is Brian Culero,

and I'm the founder and CEO

of the Spinternational Hall of

Fame.

Those bastards will do

anything to keep his name out.

Keeping Izzy out of the hall

of fame is a total injustice,

you know.

Years before I founded the

Hall of Fame,

the business side of spinning

was like the Wild, Wild West.

I, for a time,

did financial deals for

several of the top spinners,

including Mr. Lyon.

I never trusted that guy.

Well, we had a bit of a

falling out,

but I harbor no ill will toward

Izzy

whatsoever.

Can you give me more specific

reasons

for omitting Izzy from the Hall

of Fame?

Well, where to begin?

A long history of drug and

alcohol abuse,

bizarre and questionable

spinning techniques,

behavioral problems.

Look, our organization is for

families.

For the children.

We strive to maintain a

wholesome image.

There's no question that

Izzy was and always will be

the greatest sign spinner of all

time.

It's obvious they don't like

him.

If he gets in, they all move

down a notch.

But you've been

attempting to get him inducted.

Is that correct?

Yeah, you're damn right.

Me and Mary-Ellen.

Why is it so

important to you personally?

Oh, it's everything to me.

I know this may sound weird to

you,

I am who I am because of Izzy.

I know I only met him once,

but it was the best day of my

life.

I will honor him until the day

I die forever and ever, amen.

After Izzy disappeared,

Mary-Ellen and I spent all

of our time and her money

trying to find him.

We had a search party and

everything.

Pretty damn good party too,

but it wasn't enough.

Eventually, we ran outta

resources.

Now over here, we have the

map of every Izzy sighting.

Like right here, this is the

last place someone saw Izzy.

You think he's in there

somewhere?

Are you kidding me?

Take a close, very, very close

look.

Do you see it?

I'm not sure what I'm looking

for,

to be honest.

- Don't touch it.

This right here, his high top

fade.

I'd know it anywhere.

Yeah.

- Yeah.

Tonight on Unresolved

Mysteries, where Izzy?

Hi, Chuckie.

It's my last show.

Good luck, Izzy.

I hope you don't

disappear after your show.

Don't worry, I won't disappear.

Forever.

If you have any information

on the whereabouts of Izzy Lyon,

please call our toll free

number.

You know,

you go through a lot of emotions

when someone you love and

respect flies off into the night,

never to be seen again.

Izzy was pure

and innocent.

So many big time celebrities

are in it for the money.

Not Izzy.

No.

It was all about the art.

By 1989,

Izzy was spinning for some of

the world's largest companies.

Tost Products introduced Izz-O's

cereal.

He had his own Spintendo

game called Spinstar

and was the new face of Quick

Cuts,

the national chain of hair

salons.

Spinning is life.

I can't think of anything

else I'd rather do.

When I'm up there on stage,

I feel like I'm spinning

for the whole world.

Maybe even the universe.

Or maybe I'm standing still

and the universe is spinning for

me.

♪ I want you ♪

Izzy Lyon had become one

of the wealthiest spinners

in America and he wasn't

afraid to show it.

Welcome to another edition

of Rich People and the Way They

Live.

Join me as we take a

look into the lavish life

of the hottest sign

spinner in North America.

Izzy Lyon has become Hollywood's

wealthiest celebrity.

Welcome aboard, Mr. Lyon.

Hey Jack.

Whether

he's relaxing by the pool

at his Hollywood estate

or the jacuzzi in his Chicago

penthouse,

there can be no shortage

of leisure for Izzy Lyon.

Oh, everybody recognized Mr.

Lyon.

Wow.

I'm the one that had to teach

him the art of the disguise.

Check this out.

Hello?

Hello.

Still me.

The more the changeability,

the better that disguise.

Do you know what I mean?

You look, you look confused.

Hello?

You don't know.

Because of Izzy,

sign spinning became bigger

than the NBA and ALS combined.

Spinning was the newest craze.

And this surge of spinthusiasm

paved the way for new talent

from all over the world.

The British spinvasion

was an incredible migration

of spinners from the UK.

They flooded into the American

scene.

The most notable of which

was of course the

illustrious Ritchy Round.

Are you serious?

You've never heard of me?

Have you been living

under a bloody crumpet?

I just need you to say it once

for the documentary, please.

My name is Ritchy Round

and I am the greatest

sing spinner of all time.

In the world.

Ever.

Although Ritchy Round

was Britain's top spinner,

here in the states, Izzy was

number one.

But as Ritchy's popularity grew,

so did a rivalry between the two

spinners.

Ha.

That's like saying there's a

rivalry between spotted dick

and Godzilla.

Well I'm Godzilla and I

eat dick for breakfast.

Of course there were

many other famous spinners

you probably don't remember.

Oh my God, there were so

many, there was Wyatt Slurp.

He stood in an enormous

vat of soda while he spun.

You had the Spin Twins, the

Spinster.

Spinderella.

Rotating Ron.

Bruce Spinsting.

Then of course there

was the Four Fingered Sam,

who then became Three Fingered

Samantha.

I really like Spaghetti

Hot Brown Spinetti.

He was Italian.

Spinergy.

Don't forget Spincest.

Oh, right, right.

They were a family act.

Kinda.

The Spin Minion.

There were 10 of them.

Spinni Vanilli, but they were

fakes.

Jokers.

In 1990, while performing

at a music festival

in Memphis, Tennessee,

Izzy met Rhonda Jackson,

a backup dancer for

hip hop artist MC Hammer.

So at first he was like uh huh,

and then I was like nuh uh,

and then he was like uh huh,

and then I was like mm.

And then he was like, uh huh.

And I was like, aight.

I'm Rhonda Jackson-Lyon.

I was married to Izzy.

I don't know what he saw in her.

I know other women who would've

been much better for him.

Did I think that Rhonda

was the right woman for Izzy?

Well, not really.

But she made him happy,

so I went along with it.

Rhonda wasn't nothing

but a gold-diggin' ho.

♪ Give me your love ♪

♪ I can't keep givin' you all my

love ♪

So this one time Izzy

took us all the Milan.

It was something stupid, like

celebrating his birthday.

Anyway, I saw this cute pair

of solid gold diamond plated

Versace sunglasses.

And Marcus, that selfish prick,

he gon' say she don't need

another pair.

Can you believe that?

The woman's got some issues.

Bitch is out her mind.

I'm sorry about that.

So I told Izzy if I

can't have those Versaces,

I better get something almost as

good.

Big ass ring.

Wow.

And you're still wearing it.

Would you give back this bling?

A mere six months after meeting,

Izzy and Rhonda were married in

Chicago.

It was an event like no other.

The tabloids,

they went nuts with it.

It was not that over the top.

I mean, not like they made it

out to be.

It was way over the top.

Who doesn't have little

people holding up their tables.

Come on.

I gave 'em a break.

Well, one.

I was so young.

I just don't think that

I was ready for all that.

Attention.

Tyrone, don't make me put

you back in the house.

Back then, let me tell you,

Izzy was making a lot of money.

Those early deals I made for

Izzy

should have made him rich

for a very long time.

Sadly,

didn't work out that way.

His debts were mounting,

and it was all happening

in the public eye.

That must have been very hard

for Izzy.

Izzy blew all our money

and then that mouth of his

got him into some big trouble.

Man, do you remember this?

I said it, I am bigger

than Michael Jordan.

But I appreciate the fact

that you have the courage

to admit it.

I mean, my hair's

better than his, right?

Yeah, even I couldn't

get behind him on that one.

The same reporters

that loved Izzy before,

well, they turned on him.

He let his

ego get the best of him.

You show me someone who's great

who doesn't have an inflated

ego.

Look, Izzy had his faults.

Sure.

But is that a reason to keep

out of the hall of fame?

No.

- No.

At the Los Angeles Coliseum,

on September 9th, 1992,

Izzy made history when he

introduced

the helicopter.

Oh, the helicopter

was something special.

Get this, instead of spinning

one sign, Izzy spun two.

And he got him spinning so fast,

he levitated three inches off

the stage.

It was like Jesus rising from

the grave.

Well, if Jesus would've

been a sign spinner.

The fans went bonkers.

He told me he was working on a

new trick.

The man defied gravity.

Amateur and professional

spinners from all over the world

tried to mimic the helicopter,

but no one could pull it off.

But then a young boy named

Bobby Freeze

seriously injured himself

attempting the helicopter.

He got impaled on his sign.

Left him seriously handicapped

for life.

He lost some of his biggest

endorsement contracts.

That's when we separated,

I had had enough.

I had to move back into

our four bedroom penthouse

in Chicago.

And that thing only had one

jacuzzi in it.

It was horrible.

But it's getting better.

Izzy is an international threat.

His helichopper move is

killing our children.

Have you seen that little boy?

He looks like a monster.

Mr. Lyon, what

about this controversy?

Look, those mad moves you see

me doin'

like the helicopter, those

are for professionals.

Kids can't be trying that.

It's way too dangerous.

Okay?

No further questions.

Thank you, thank you.

Even though Izzy spoke out

against untrained spinning,

the controversy over what

became known as the heli-chopper

would forever damage his

reputation.

Naturally, people were very

upset.

There was a huge backlash from

his fans.

Down with Izzy.

Geez, I thought it was

tough guarding Izzy before.

You ever try protecting

someone from being mutilated

by an angry mob?

Not as easy as it sounds.

We have confirmed famed

sign spinner Izzy Lyon

has been shot during his

performance

at Madison Square Garden.

I saw it on the TV.

I just leaned over and barfed.

It was the saddest day of my

life.

Jesus.

I didn't even hear the shot.

The crowd was so loud.

My ears were ringing

for days afterwards,

which was particularly odd

'cause I wasn't even at the show.

Izzy Lyon has been brought

to Rush St. Luke hospital in

Manhattan.

Oh, wait a minute.

We understand his condition is

stable.

The shooter has not been found,

but this surveillance photo

clearly shows the assassin

taking aim moments before the

fatal event.

That clown's not looking for

any laughs.

Is he?

Too soon, Mona.

Too soon.

Oh yeah, that was bloody awful.

So Sad.

Is that the word?

Sad.

There were plenty of suspects,

but without any hard leads,

the police were useless.

It could have been anybody, even

me.

It wasn't.

It could have been, it

wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't.

Well, I said it could have been

anybody.

I'm anybody.

I'm not nobody, I'm, I'm me.

Now he's the one

that's supposed to be

guardin' Izzy, right?

But supposedly he's off playing

patty cake

with some floozy somewhere.

As I remember it,

she had just finished showing me

the tattoo on her prosthetic

arm.

When I heard what I would

normally call

the sound of unemployment.

As fate would have it,

Izzy was spinning a

titanium sign that night.

Deflected the bullet.

So who do

you think is responsible?

To quote the great Remington

Steele,

follow the money.

So is it just a coincidence

that you took out a $10

million life insurance policy

about a week before Izzy was

shot?

Hell yeah.

It don't mean nothing.

My friend Mercedes bought

her a new Hyundai Sonata

with the platinum package.

Got it insured.

Wrapped it around a pole same

day.

Is she guilty of murder?

I don't think so.

Oh, CSI up in here.

After the attempt on his life,

Izzy spent time in a New Jersey

hospital,

recovering from the emotional

and physical trauma.

While there he met Barbi

Fratelli,

an 18 year old Jersey girl

who quickly became his

close friend and confidant.

Yeah, so I was in the hospital

with the

irritated booty sickness.

IBS, right?

Hi, my name is Barbi Fratelli,

owner of Barbi's Barking

Beauties.

I'm a canine cosmetologist.

And I am a former best

friend of Izzy Lyon.

Friend.

So anyways, I see across the

hall this man

and I says, oh my God,

I've seen that man on TV.

I gotta meet him.

So I go across the hall and it's

Izzy.

And forget about it.

After that, it was like

peas and meat sauce.

And look at this, voila, Italian

ice.

Yeah, they got real close.

Little too close, if you ask

Rhonda.

Shit, was all up inside

her, like you up in me.

Only it wasn't his hand.

Come on, man.

You know, Rhonda and Izzy

were separated at the time,

but she didn't even come to

visit him in the hospital.

Someone tried to kill him,

for criminy Pete's sake.

Why didn't you go to visit Izzy

when he was in the hospital?

Visit him?

Separated or not,

how would you feel if your

man spent all his time

with an 18 year old hussy?

Just because he almost got

killed,

that doesn't make it okay.

I was in Cancun anyway.

No, we was not like

together in like a sexual way.

We was just friends.

Oh my God, that looks good.

Very pretty, come here.

It's my interview, Marisa.

Their relationship was

all over the tabloids.

And then Rhonda filed for

divorce.

It was awful.

It really broke Izzy's

fragile little heart.

Did you date Ritchy

Round to get back at Izzy?

Yes I did.

And let's just say they

grow 'em real small

in Great Britain.

It didn't last.

Rhonda.

Did I shag a Rhonda?

Oh yes.

Rhonda Lyon.

She was a treasured conquest.

Ritchy wanted everything Izzy

had.

I'm glad he never came from me.

Izzy ran off to Las Vegas

with that Barbi woman.

Hussy.

Thank you.

I mean, I thought I was

helping him, you know?

I mean, don't get me wrong,

we had a lot of good times,

but you know, I could

tell he was very sad.

A lot of people don't know,

Izzy was very tender and

emotional.

But you know, sign spinners,

they got feelings too.

People forget that.

Beautiful, look at this one.

This one is a tribute

to Monet's Water Lilies.

You wanna come around,

do the camera like 360

around the dog?

No, okay.

Izzy's career was on life

support.

Fans wondered if he'd ever

return to the spotlight.

For the 18th time,

Brian Culero is unavailable.

Have a spinderful day.

If we could just talk to

Brian, maybe we'd have a chance.

All we want them to

do is to hear us out.

Show 'em the book, Mary-Ellen.

I've been

preparing this for years.

This is my Izzy Bible.

It has every amazing

achievement,

every award, every honor,

every act of goodwill.

We even have a presentation

all planned out.

With music and

fireworks and laser lights

and dancing pigs.

How are we ever gonna afford

all that?

We got music.

Sheldon Steinbergenstein.

Shecky, this is Marcus.

Hi, Marcus.

- What's up?

- We think it's time

to go back to the Hall of Fame

and give 'em the what for.

Again?

This time we've got a

documentary crew coming with us.

Woohoo!

Holly weird, here we come.

Ta da.

We're back.

Can I help you?

We don't mean to bother you,

but...

Oh yes we do.

We want to talk to Brian.

I can't help you.

Brian is unavailable.

What do you mean, unavailable?

Unavailable as in not available.

Oh really?

Hey, you can't go up there.

Ritchy.

Hello, darlings.

Why, you blimey son of

sheckle-less...

Shecky, you old geezer, is

that you?

You know it is.

Bloody hell, mate.

You look

old.

Like Old Testament old.

The years have not been kind to

you.

Oh, by the way, my good

side is on my right.

Well hello, little bird.

And who might you be?

Who, me?

I'm Mary-Ellen.

Look at you

with your little glasses and

your colorful windbreaker.

You're like a magnificent

peacock with all your feathers

just.

Erect.

Oh my.

All right, can we get to the

point here?

Yes, let's.

What can I do for you fine

people?

We're here to see Brian.

Right, right.

Well, the thing about that

is Brian's a bit occupied.

He's always occupied.

A man can't be occupied forever.

Depends on

what he's occupied with.

All right, this is bullshit,

Ritchy.

He can't just keep avoiding us.

What's going on out there?

You have some visitors.

I know, I can hear them.

Who is it?

It's that Shecky guy and...

Oh good Lord.

They have a camera crew with

them.

I told them that you weren't

here, but they won't leave.

Are you coming out?

Why are you whispering?

Wait.

Am I on speaker?

Yes you are.

I'll be right out.

He'll be right out.

Well, I'll be a bobtailed

bastard.

Shecky Sheckenbergenstein

It's Steinbergenstein.

And you brought your friends.

Is that Marcus Lyon?

This is.

And this bubbling

cauldron of smelted ore

is miss Mary-Ellen.

Why haven't you returned my

calls?

Calls?

I don't remember getting any

calls.

It is so hard to get good help

these days.

Now, what can I do for you?

We wanna get Izzy Lyon

in the Hall of Fame.

Sheckles, how many times

have we been through this?

Hey guys.

The man has been dead for 20

years.

Hey, he is not dead.

Yeah, don't say that.

Look, we're all well

aware of how controversial

Izzy's career was.

I cannot in good faith.

Good faith, my ass.

That's right, it's downright

wrong

not to include the greatest

sign spinner that ever lived.

Apparently you haven't seen

my display in the main hall.

You are not,

and you never were the greatest.

- Oh really?

- Yeah.

Well, that accomplished nothing.

I told you guys, you should

let me bring Li'I Marcus.

We can't talk here,

but I have some info

that may be very valuable

for your efforts.

Why are you whispering?

Can we meet somewhere more

private?

Why sure, just gimme your

number.

Don't you know, those

things can be traced.

Think!

What the hell are you doing?

That's.

- Excuse me.

- Did you just?

I'm at work, I can't talk

right now.

I can't believe you did this.

It's about the size of a plum.

No, moderate swelling.

It's more burny than stab by.

I don't know, how much is a lot

of blood?

I'll get you a specimen.

Okay, I gotta go.

I love you too, Mother.

Alrighty, bye bye.

What?

Sorry about that.

Meet me here tonight.

What's your name?

I've said too much already.

Don't think so.

You really haven't said

anything.

Hey, I hope you plan on paying

for this.

This is an expensive phone.

I think his mother's a doctor.

Oy vey.

Are you sure this is

where he said to meet him?

This is my kind of place.

Oh, there he is.

Hi.

Yoo hoo.

This is a nice place.

Are you a regular here?

No.

Lookin' good, Phil.

Who exactly are you, man?

My name is Phil Alden, I'm

the curator and custodian

at the Spinternational Hall of

Fame.

Okay.

Well, Phil Alden, you said

you had something for us.

I can get you into a meeting

with Brian Culero next week.

Is that so?

Yes.

Wednesday night.

The entire board will be there,

not just Brian and Ritchy.

It sounds important.

Oh, it is.

It's very important

because that's the night

they'll be voting in the new

inductees.

I'm not buying it.

They put you up to this.

No, I can't stand them.

They make me clean the toilets.

But more importantly, I

love Izzy and I want in.

In what?

Your little circle.

All right, you're in.

Before you say no,

let me just say I was never able

to spin

because of an inner ear

infection.

Actually, he said that you're...

But I devoted my life to this.

And to see those two, pardon my

French,

standing in the way of Izzy's

induction,

it's just wrong.

We would love your help.

If I could just have

a little peace and res...

Shut up and listen!

You're in!

Oh my God, really?

Why would we even think

they'd listen to us?

I happen to know that a

couple of the board members

are big Izzy fans.

Oh, maybe we have something

here.

Quit sulking.

I'm not sulking.

I'm just saying having a

performance

without the most talented

member of the group

doesn't make sense.

Li'I Marcus would kill.

Look at that.

Our friend Speed Racer

actually came through.

Our friend Speed Racer actually.

All in favor of wasting

a great deal of money

to hire a full-time custodian

when we have a truly fantastic

one

sitting right here in the room.

- Hi.

- Phil.

You're not on the board.

Legally, I could stab you right

now.

We talked about this.

Sounds like they're already

voting.

I will come to your house

and I will kill your family.

Brian.

I will kill your

mother while you watch.

You know, I'm a board member.

Are you ready?

You're darn tootin' I am.

I've been waiting my whole life

for this.

You talk again, and I

will kill your family.

And, having nothing further to

discuss,

we move on.

♪ It's somebody's birthday ♪

But nobody here.

Listen, mate, you're not

allowed to barge in here.

We're in the middle of a

very important meeting.

I invited them.

You are the people who decide

who gets inducted into the Hall

of Fame,

and these fine, intelligent,

dedicated, devoted.

Fuck's sake, get on with it,

man.

They just want Izzy

Lyon in the Hall of Fame.

I'm not gonna stand for this.

It's crooked, it's backhanded.

I don't like it.

Precisely.

This meeting is adjourned.

- Wait.

I'd like to hear what they have

to say.

I agree.

All right, all right.

Get on with it.

Hit it, Marcus.

♪ Izzy Lyon, number one ♪

♪ World's greatest spinner

signer, made for sun ♪

♪ Skill, charm, high top fade ♪

♪ We really wish he would a

stayed ♪

♪ Oh wicky wicky wicky ♪

♪ Izzy Lyon ♪

♪ Number one ♪

♪ Skill, charm, high top fade ♪

Oh no.

♪ Izzy should be in the Hall of

Fame ♪

Okay then, all in favor of the

motion

to nominate Isaac Tiberius Lyon

to the Spinternational Hall of

Fame.

- Aye.

Neither of you has a vote.

Aye.

I raised my hand by accident.

All opposed.

Nay.

Nay, I guess.

I vote nay as well.

The motion is denied.

The matter is settled.

I told you this would've gone

better

If we used Li'I Marcus.

God dammit.

Brian, you cannot intimidate

people

into voting the way you want

them to.

I can, and I just did.

This is ridiculous.

I quit.

Fine, is that all?

No.

As a matter of fact, it's not

all.

I hate cleaning your toilets.

Your cologne makes me sick

and I don't wanna be your

punching bag anymore.

And I hated shining your shoes.

And my office is in a

closet, for the love of God.

Look here, Philip,

you've got balls after all.

You got anything else to tell

us?

I'm gay.

- Yeah.

- See.

Of course.

We know you're gay.

We all knew that.

I think this meeting

has been most informative.

Phil, you're free to

collect your belongings.

As for the rest of you,

this meeting is adjourned.

I think we've all had

enough drama for one day.

Hey, hey, hey,

this is not over.

I think it is.

Thanks, man.

I don't even know why I

keep getting my hopes up.

Me neither.

I knew it wasn't gonna work.

Maybe now is a good time

to seek professional help.

You mean like a psychiatrist?

I mean a lawyer.

We can fight this.

Lawyer?

We don't have any money.

Somebody better have some money.

You ain't paid your tab.

What about Izzy's royalties?

Marcus, you must get some money.

We ain't get shit.

All right, I've had enough of

this.

Shecky?

This whole thing is perverse!

Better relax, old man.

Who you calling old man?

Shecky, whatever you're

thinking, don't do it.

Come at me.

I'll show you, you giant

chunk of ostrich pink.

Eat wood, bonehead.

Ouchie.

Oh my.

Look, to be honest,

Izzy is not getting

into that Hall of Fame.

They can't do this.

They must be doing something

illegal.

It ain't illegal to be an

asshole.

When you hit rock bottom

and life just beats the heck

outta ya,

you've got to fight back.

The special thing about rock

bottom,

there's only one place

to go, forward and up.

I will tell you,

I always thought Shecky

was a little bit crazy,

but he had some good ideas.

I sure did.

The show was called

Spintacular, Spintacular.

I said, look, Izzy, if we

want to get back in the game,

you better show the world

you're still the best.

It was a one night only

event at Soldier Field

back in Chicago.

80,000 tickets sold out within

an hour.

Parking was extra.

I was very honored.

Izzy allowed me to design

his costume for that show.

I mean, it was sparkly and

fabulous

in an understated sort of way.

You came from nothing.

This kid from the south side,

no money, no connections.

And look at you now.

What is it like to be you?

It's dope.

Doper than dope.

It was a security nightmare.

I was on pins and needles.

Scratch that, I was,

I was on pills and needles.

I love Izzy, and I don't

care what anyone thinks!

He's gorgeous.

He's got a beautiful nose.

Clearly the fans were anxious

to see him

after he'd been gone for so

long.

And no one knew where he was.

You'd think after almost being

killed,

that would be enough to stop a

bloke.

But no, he has to come back.

Have you ever felt like this

about anybody before?

No.

And that's what so crazy about

it.

I have to admit his performance

was pretty phenomenal,

especially for someone who

so clearly past his prime.

Everyone agreed it was

the most beautiful thing

they'd ever seen.

It's like Izzy was a divine

being.

I mean, the audience,

they went crazy for him.

They gave him a perfect 10.

You know what I give him?

I give him a fuckin' two,

that's what I give you,

Izzy, a two.

Or if you're from America, one

of these.

I'm not sticking around, I'm

going.

This is bullshit.

Yeah, I remember right

before Izzy left the stage,

he turned to the audience,

you know, this was after

his third encore, he said,

thanks for standing by me

through the good times and the

bad.

It was a miracle.

I'd seen him levitate before,

but I had no idea that kid was

gonna fly.

It's true.

I have had clients croak on

me, but never just vanish.

Is my job done?

Nope.

Not until I'm fired or they're

dead.

That was the last time we ever

saw Izzy.

Yeah.

I never got any closure.

That's why I hold onto of this

stuff.

What have we got there?

This is my most prized

possession.

Sorry, Boba.

Yeah.

This is something Izzy gave me

right before he went on

stage for his final show.

It's the last thing he ever gave

me.

Or anybody else, for that

matter.

Have you ever watched it?

Watched it?

No.

Toshecky?

Probably Japanese hentai porn.

Give me some good old

shoot 'em up any day.

I'm more into like gun play porn,

you know?

Do it.

Um, Mr. Poupon, I don't

think that says Toshecky.

I think you were supposed

to give it to Shecky.

Could I borrow that?

What?

Can I borrow that?

Oh, I don't think so.

No!

This means the world to me!

Antoine, what the hell's goin'

on, man?

Calm the heck down.

I mean, what is the deal?

I mean, look at you.

Is your brain impacted too?

What are you doing?

Wearing Joe's security jacket

again?

Joe died.

How long is this goin' on, man?

You know, he ain't had his meds

today.

No, it's okay.

He was just talking to

me about his videotape.

Videotape.

What are you doing with the

videotape?

You know you ain't supposed to

have

no unauthorized videotapes here,

Antoine.

He's not?

You give it up.

Let me have it.

- Closure.

Let me have it.

- Well, how about this?

- Let me have it.

What if I held onto it

and kept it safe for you?

It means a lot to me.

I know, and I won't

let it outta my sight.

I could keep it real safe.

Take good care of it.

- What's the deal?

Let me have it.

Yeah, here we go.

Keep it up, keep it up.

We may have to lobotomize your

crazy,

cross-eyed Deputy Dawg ass, huh?

Guess what I got in your meds

tonight?

Shecky, I'm sorry, but I'm out.

Last night, I got a visit

from a dude in a horse mask,

and you know how much I hate

horses.

And no, this was not another

one of my nightmares.

This was real.

This horse wants me gone,

said he'd come after my

family, said he'd come for you.

Scared me shit less.

It's gotta be the same guy

that tried to get me in Madison

Square.

But I ain't stickin' around to

find out.

Nope.

There was one other thing, I

recognize voice.

He kept calling me mate,

said he was the greatest evil

mass bloke in the world ever.

So we're gonna leave, Sheck.

Maybe you could find a

way to make things right.

Tell Marcus I love him.

Tell my cars I love them.

They've been like a father to

me.

And you know I love you

too, you smelly bastard.

Oh my.

Well.

This means Izzy may still be

out there.

Of course he is.

Yes, and he's implicating.

Yeah, I know who he's

implicating.

There's only one person in the

world that talks like that.

Wait, wait.

So Ritchy tried to kill Izzy?

And was a clown and a horse

and was an evil, murderous clown

horse.

What does that even mean?

Hey.

Ow.

Keep it together, man.

Eyes on me.

Ritchy is a dead man.

Now Shecky, don't go crazy.

Don't go crazy?

You're telling me not to go

crazy?

I won't go crazy then.

You know what, pissed off,

I'm a little irritated,

and a little, and you know what

else

I'm gonna go a little of?

All right, all right, no!

We all can't go crazy.

She's right.

Everybody needs to calm down.

We need to handle this the right

way.

The right way, huh?

- Yeah.

- All right.

Wait.

Hey, hey, hey, I'm going with

Marcus.

Hey, Marcus, wait!

Look, some guy making

accusations on a videotape

from 20 years ago isn't much to

go on.

Are you serious?

I'm trying to take this

as seriously as I can,

but without hard evidence,

there's really not much we can

do.

This way, then.

That was fun.

What did you expect?

This whole thing was a waste of

time.

What the hell are you doin'

bringing that dummy in there?

- Shecky.

- Don't you talk

about Marcus like that.

So what'd they say.

They're not gonna do anything.

I'll show them hard evidence.

Those stuffed, possum-lipped

pieces of frak.

Hey.

It's time we took matters

into our own hands.

Meaning what?

Meanin' we need to kick

Ritchy's ass.

- Yeah!

- No!

That won't solve anything.

If they want proof, we

gotta give him proof.

Believe me.

I want to take that Ritchy

and throw him to the ground

and then hog time and then

stick a gag ball in his mouth

and then do shots of

tequila from his navel,

and then take a bunch of oil

and then swirl it around.

- Hey!

- Phil's right.

We need hard proof to get him

arrested.

And how are we gonna get that?

Well, we could, uh.

Well.

I got a plan.

But we're gonna need disguises.

I like that.

All right, tell me

the plan one more time.

It's pretty damn simple.

We get in there and we bust open

his head.

Can we comb through

that motherfucker's house

until we find some proof he

was responsible for this mess?

Shecky?

What are you wearing?

Well, this is the only

disguise I own.

What, did I overaccessorize?

We're gonna nail this sucker.

Holy moly.

It's huge.

I haven't said that in years.

Whoa, you don't believe it

until you're standing

right in front of it.

Stupid asshole's got a castle.

You got it from Derek

Smalls in the '90s.

Wow.

Oh my.

Is it illegal if we break in

without getting permission?

What the hell is wrong with

you people?

Hey, how do you know how to

pick locks?

I know how to do a lot of

things.

- What?

- It's Ritchy.

He's naked.

Whoa.

What the hell?

This is some

Game of Thrones bullshit.

Aw, nuts.

You guys, I think we

may need to split up.

Marcus,

join me in the bedroom.

I'm good.

Hey, you and Mary-Ellen head

upstairs,

see if y'all can find anything.

- 10-4.

Come with me.

I'm listening to a fricking

puppet.

He's mine.

No, he's mine.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Isn't it wrong to kick somebody's

when they're unconscious?

Good point.

Let's wake him up so we can feel

it.

Oh my God.

He's more obsessed than I am.

This is much more twisted

than I ever imagined.

Who could do such a thing?

Oh, cupcake.

Is that you?

Yeah.

Yeah, you know I like it rough.

That's my cheesecake.

Oh my God.

This guy is sick.

In my ass?

I'll never eat a sausage again.

Marcus, we got the tape.

Can you get me the combination?

How the hell are we supposed

to do that?

Persuade him somehow.

Use your charm.

Over.

Wait a second.

Why don't you invite your

friends over

and I'll give you whatever you

want.

Yeah, nah, I don't think so,

man.

No, this has gotten way outta

control.

I got this.

What?

I knew this day would come.

What day?

The day that I had to

carry your sorry ass.

Oh, you know you like it.

You know you do.

- No, no, no.

Shh.

Just remember, you're doin' this

for Izzy.

Doing what?

- For Izzy.

- What?

For Izzy.

No, no, no, no, no.

For Izzy!

Oh no.

You're goin'

where no man's gone before!

- So disgusting.

- Oh God.

Look at this.

What?

And this.

That's an odd prop for a clown.

Mary-Ellen.

Clowns don't use guns.

No.

Look.

Oh my God, we actually did it.

We did it.

- We did it.

Sergeant Decker, please.

Hey guys, I got the combination.

It's 381.

It was unlocked.

And also empty.

What?

Look what we did find.

We got you, you son of a bitch.

Yeah, you bastard.

What's wrong with Shecky?

Hang on a sec.

Do I know you?

Where's Li'I Marcus.

Li'I Marcus?

Where?

Li'I Marcus?

Oh God.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

You okay?

No!

Oh, Marcus.

No!

Marcus, is that you?

It's so cold.

Just hang on, man.

Just hang on.

I don't feel so good.

No, shh, shh!

Save your strength.

It's okay, you're gonna be all

right.

Tell Ritchy

he's an asshole.

No!

No, no, no, no, no.

Marcus, he's gone.

No, he's not.

This is the police.

We have you surrounded.

It's the police.

Nobody panic!

The police.

I'm not goin' back to prison.

Come out with your hands up.

Lay down your weapons.

Hey.

Hey, don't take it so hard mate.

I mean, it's not like it's the

first time

you've lost someone.

That probably hurt.

That is for Li'I Marcus.

And this is for Izzy.

For your own

safety, please exit the castle.

No, no, no.

No, I didn't actually kill

anyone.

I didn't kill, I tried to kill

someone.

Of course.

No, no, no, we can make a deal.

We can make a deal.

I know things.

- Let's make a deal in here.

I know things.

I'm the greatest sign spinner in

the world

ever!

In a bizarre turn of events,

formally famed sign spinner

Ritchy Round

was taken into police custody

today

in connection with the unsolved

1994 assassination attempt

on Izzy Lyon.

I'm Ritchy Round.

Number one in the world.

Ever.

During the arrest, Mr.

Round was very vocal.

Implicating Brian Culero,

President and CEO of the

Spinternational Hall of Fame

in an elaborate multimillion

dollar embezzlement scandal

involving royalties

belonging to Izzy Lyon.

So we never did get Izzy

into the Hall of Fame.

Or find him, for that matter.

But we won't stop looking.

That's right.

And now, maybe since Ritchy

is out of the picture.

I thought if I'm going down,

Brian is going down with me.

One minute you're the CEO

of a respected establishment,

next,

you're making toilet wine

to accompany the grilled cheese

sandwiches

you've made on an ironing board.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have a 2:30 game with

Dirty Mike and the boys.

This here is Big Bone.

Turns out he's a massive Izzy

Lyon fan.

Massive.

After he beat me all to shit,

we've become close friends.

Yeah, I did get

a pretty good settlement.

And I got my 20%, plus interest.

In the end though,

we decided to honor

Izzy by doing something

that would give back to the

community.

Thank you.

And welcome.

You know, for the past year,

my camera crew and I have

followed

this extraordinary

committee on their journey

to restore the legacy of a

forgotten hero,

Isaac Tiberius Lyon.

Join me in giving them

a round of applause.

The Sheckster is back.

Have you ever seen a more

beautiful candy apple blue?

Looks like old

Shecky made out pretty good.

Looks like my Li'I

Marcus days are behind me.

It hasn't been easy.

I mean, I know I'm never gonna

forget him,

but at some point you

gotta move on, you know?

And I'm proud to say that I

finally found a new hobby.

Because today is the opening

of the Izzy Lyon

Spinstitution of Signery Arts.

So, I'm gonna be teaching two

classes.

It's so exciting.

Fan Club Leadership 101,

obviously.

And also I am gonna be

training a whole new generation

of private investigators to find

Izzy.

And who knows who else?

This is Izzy Searchology 101.

My name is Proof Mary-Ellen

Bower.

Now we're all here for the

same reason, to find Izzy,

wherever he may be on this

world.

Ladies and gentlemen,

say hello to the first and

only sign spinning school

in America!

Spin Signo Veritas!

I used to think that my

best years were behind me,

but now I realize that

these are my best years.

You are so strong.

Mm.

I feel like a royal.

In the final analysis,

perhaps sign spinning's

almost mystical ability

to gather people together

is what makes it so fascinating.

So compelling.

So singular.

Everyone watched our Izzy doc.

You guys, you're a hit.

We're a hit.

I know.

And this is a small

token of our appreciation.

Handcrafted.

She's got a special gift.

Thank you for sharing our story.

It made a world a difference

to all of us.

Of course.

I mean, you really shouldn't

have,

'cause you know, it's

beautiful?

Is that a real gun?

- Yeah, don't touch it.

You gotta open the card first.

Of course.

Thanks guys.

This is Heather.

There's a Mr.

Lyon

waiting in the lobby for you.

Mr. Lyon?

There ain't but one Mr. Lyon.

♪ Tell me why your sign's not

spinnin' ♪

♪ Doper than dope ♪

♪ It gave us such hope ♪

♪ Hombres kept it real ♪

♪ Sayin' where have you been ♪

♪ The original spin ♪

♪ What was the big deal ♪

♪ Why you just ♪

♪ Chime in, chime in ♪

♪ Spin spin ♪

♪ Grind it, grind it ♪

♪ Adios to your old life ♪

♪ My friend says ♪

♪ He believe it ♪

♪ Hot lies ♪

♪ Beat it, beat it ♪

♪ No more holdin' dice ♪

♪ But you ♪

♪ You keep it spinnin' round ♪

♪ You keep it ♪

♪ Keep it spinnin' round, round,

round ♪

♪ Everything you do just spins

me round ♪

♪ Everything you do just spins

me round ♪

♪ I can't read the lines

on the cardboard signs ♪

♪ You won't slow it up or spin

it around ♪

Did Izzy, in that moment.

Show me what it's like to

transcend beyond the material

trappings

of the corporeal world

and learn to appreciate

what is truly beautiful?

Maybe.

I don't know.

It's about staying focused.

Brian, you know, I've told you

many times

what my secret is.

What's your secret?

Clean livin'.

Are these cute?

Look it.

They keep 'em cool.

This one, his owner is a crony,

he's got like a fetish, but

that's where I don't judge.

If you bring me a dog,

I give you back a pony.

Now this, I know it's not

politically correct, you know,

'cause it's on a white

mannequin, but I wanted his,

you know, his high top and his

sunglasses to really pop out.

And then the halo,

because Izzy's an angel.

I don't think that's healthy.

Ah, old guy ain't so bad.

When I'm 200, I hope I can

throw a punch like that.

It was just so

touching

and moving.

You could tell Izzy

was in it for the meat.

Put your back into it.

Oh yeah.

Oh.

Ooh.

I loved Izzy.

I loved him like a brother,

like an adopted black brother.

It's funny.

Everybody always wants

to blame the bodyguard

when somebody gets shot.

Let me tell you something,

I was nowhere near Mr.

Lyon when it happened!

Were you there?

Get that off me!

♪ You kept it, kept it, kept it,

kept it ♪

♪ Spinnin' ♪

♪ You keep it, keep it, keep it,

keep it ♪

♪ Spinnin' ♪

♪ You keep it, keep it, keep it,

keep it ♪

♪ Spinnin' ♪

♪ You keep it, keep it, keep it,

keep it ♪

♪ Spinnin' ♪

♪ You keep it spinnin' ♪

♪ Spinnin' ♪

♪ Round, round, round ♪

♪ Everything you do just spins

me round ♪

♪ Everything you do just spins

me round ♪

♪ I can't read the lines

on the cardboard signs ♪

♪ 'Cause you never slow it

up to touch the ground ♪

♪ You keep it ♪

♪ Spinnin' ♪

♪ Round, round, round ♪

♪ Everything you do just spins

me round ♪

♪ Everything you do just spins

me round ♪

♪ I can't read the lines

on the cardboard signs ♪

♪ 'Cause you never slow

it up or spin it around ♪

♪ You won't slow it up or spin

it around ♪

♪ Yeah, you never slow it

up to touch the ground ♪

Spinners: Izzy Lyon - The Unspun Truth (2018) - full transcript