Spindl (2017) - full transcript

When you go to sleep in the night,
do you feel that your day made sense?

That your work is hard, but thanks to it
your life is a little bit better?

If you do, you are either lucky

or lying to yourself. Just like me.

But even at an awful company
you can still have a great boss.

I am not so lucky...

I've got Awry.

Oh, I'm sorry,

I've got Mr. Daniel Awry.

That name fits his character perfectly.

The golfer...



Kateřina, what about your report?
I've got a consultation.

And then I am playing golf with
the deputy minister. I need it today.

If we don't send it
by midnight, we are in trouble.

Stay on the phone all night
in case of an emergency... Ok.

Linda, I need it from you ASAP as well!
Arrange an interview in the Daily News.

Thank you for a lovely evening, director.

I'm glad I don't have to go anywhere

or meet somebody.

I can't be negative. I have to
look at it from the positive side.

Thirty more years
and then I can retire.

-That was really good.
-I'm glad.

-Can I make a snap for the web?
-Do it.

You know, many people have a tattoo
with a story, but I enjoy your attitude.

I guess, you bought the motorcycle
for the money I've left here.



You're right.
You know what you will get next?

I hope there won't be
anything new for a while.

I don't. I need to tune up
the motorcycle a little bit.

Your name is Eliška, isn't it?

I believed in you since
the first casting and it worked.

-And you are...?
-Michal.

I manage all the castings,
production, your contracts...

I've got many friends
and I can find you a really good job.

Yes. And you want me to spend
the evening with you, right?

You don't have to,
but it would be nice.

I don't need such help.

You will have to arrange

your free evenings without me.

-So what do you think?
-I would not recognize you here.

You look a little bit older.

-You look marvellous here. That's you.
-Really?

These are my sisters. Both are younger.
They don't need to wear a bra yet.

There was a make-up artist from Paris.
He had his own caravan.

Like a big star. It was so awesome.

And what about guys, Eli?
Wasn't there a mucker...

...who was pulling you to the darkroom?

No, but not to forget,

-I've got something for you.
-A gift?

-Don't be crazy, Eli.
-Kate,

you've been always lending me
dresses without mom knowing about it.

And you've been buying me
all the magazines, Magi.

So take it.

Without you I've never finished school
and I would be a waitress somewhere.

Oh, I am so sorry...

I'm so stupid.

-A stay for three in Špindl?
-Well...

I haven't been to the mountains in ages.

I can't even remember how to ski.

Calm down! It's Špindl!
It's not only about skiing...

-She's such a bitch! I came there...
-It's not only about skiing.

Maybe you will meet someone there.
There will be many interesting guys.

-Who want to cheat on their wives.
-That's also a way to meet someone.

-No married men!
-Come on.

Let's leave for a few days.

-I am going.
-Ok! To Špindl!

What a "great" idea. Winter is still
far away, perhaps there won't be any snow.

There was a lot of snow.

That sounds good.

I think that's exactly your style.
You will fit in.

I hope so.

-Are you going to play every day?
-Probably. But we'll play the cover songs.

That's good, you will be fiddled.

And as I've said to you...
Be careful.

I know, Dad, I know.
Crazy fans, orgies, booze and drugs.

You've told me all of this.

Listen to my advice. You know,
we used to play just like you do.

-Yes, I know.
-In Tatras for example.

-And we all got crabs.
-Dad, stop it, please.

And we played there next year again
and we got it again.

Just terrible.

But we used to say:
"Who didn't have crabs isn't a rocker."

It's nothing like that anymore.
Women are shaved...

Shaved or not...
Don't say I haven't warned you.

-Thank you for the lift, Dad.
-It's a pity, I can't hear you play.

-I've got a job in the evening.
-That's OK.

-Give me the snowboard...
-Right.

-Get it...
-Thanks. -Have fun!

Don't worry.

But I'm really worried.

The bus to Špindlerův mlýn
will depart from platform nr. 13.

Get in, we are leaving!

Damn it, girls. Don't you know
how to squeeze it in?

We don't have it in our gens
to know such things.

If it doesn't fit in from the front,
we'll put it in the back...

I've got gens for that.

And it's in there! As into my mummy!

Can I ask if you make
such jokes at home as well?

-I'm jolly all the time!
-What does your wife think about it?

I don't know. She has left me again.
And she took the dog with her.

But she will always return.

27 and 28?

-Do you want to sit by the window?
-Yes.

Where is Eli? That's so typical.
Invite us somewhere and don't show up.

She's got a few minutes left.
But she should learn to come in time.

I don't get it.

But Eli was right. Look at them. And these
are the ones who don't have a car.

-Because they haven't turned 18 yet.
-Wouldn't you like a bunny?

To hunt Pokémon with him?

-Hello.
-Hello.

I'm sorry,
but you are sitting in our seats.

-No, I don't think so.
-We've got 27 and 28.

I think they are
reducing their age, Dad.

No, we've got tickets
nr. 27 and 28.

Yes. So you are sitting next to us.

If you don't mind.

Wait for me!

Come on, put your bags in and we
are leaving. You are the last one.

Dad, I think these girls
must be retarded.

Be calm, Ann,
anybody can make a mistake.

-I hope they will get off soon.
-Thanks. Here's my ticket.

-We thought you won't show up.
-Classic.

We are leaving for Špindl!

Fasten your seat belts, don't smoke!

-Great!
-Very good!

-Keyboards were great! -Thanks.
-We are ready for the evening.

-Good job.
-So I officially welcome you on board!

And now a refreshing stop
just like at a biathlon.

-Are you prepared for anything?
-It depends how rough it will be.

The roughest!
The girls are crazy around here.

-Really?
-Take your wildest experience,

multiply it a hundred times
and you don't even get close.

Wait...
Or better sixty nine times.

You know what I am talking about...

Mrkva is not a liar.
He got 2,7 women per day last year.

Wait a moment! 2,72.
And the cook from Pec. She also got in.

-Jesus! That one, too?
-She also got in.

I had only one girl in 2,72 years
and she still left me.

-Poor little thing.
-No poor little thing. It's truth.

We'll make your statistic better!
You'll be surprised!

-By 100 percent!
-Cheers!

Take your own luggage and move on.

-Anybody needs help?
-Attention, please!

Members of the trip to hotel Olympia,

all inclusive and wellness,
with a view of the ski slope,

come to me. Yes, here!

Buddy, I need the money.

The invoice came yesterday.
OK. Tomorrow.

I'll call you later.
The guests have arrived.

-Hello! Did you come to us?
-Hello.

Let me to welcome you. I'm Lukáš
Janda Jr., the co-owner.

Put in in the carriage.

Americans have their Vegas,
Czechs have Špindl!

The best night life, the best ski slopes,

and the most amazing sunrise on Sněžka!

-After you!
-Thanks.

You will enjoy it. Take them
to the hotel and come back.

That's beautiful!

That man should write
some textbook for managers...

...or make an instructing video.

If he would be in it half naked,
I'd watch it.

-Which half?
-The upper one!

Be careful, Špindl is Špindl.

Thanks!

Look. We are completely full.
Try it somewhere else.

Come on, ladies.

I've got your reservation.
There was a mistake,

which happens once in 20 years,
but the reservation had been lost

and the room is already taken.

-Never mind, we can have another one.
-It's the season, we are fully booked.

This is a mountain resort.
We'll refund your money, of course.

Are you saying that
we have to go back home?

We have a lodging
not too far from here

and there are few free beds.
I can offer them to you, but...

-Have you got cockroaches there?
-No, nothing like that!

It's modest,
but it is still very good...

Mr. Abrhám almost lived there,

when he was shooting film Headwaiter.

Do we have a choice?

Excellent.

Mr. Horák!

-What?
-Take the ladies to Three mountains.

Give me a minute. I need to dress up.

Yes, that would be great.

-Mr. Houska!
-Yes?

Check if the Bulgarians
got enough steam.

OK, I will.

It's there. Few more steps.

Come on.

Flip off your shoes here
not to take the mess inside.

Come in, girls. You will like it here.
It's more cosy than the others.

And there is a ski room,

where you can put your things.

Let me see.

Give it to me.
Follow me upstairs.

It's quite good, isn't it?

This way.

Wait!

Guys!

Guys!

Damn it!

Hi. I am sorry.

I've got bad luck in the strip poker.

-Don't misbehave, Sock!
-I'm really sorry. -Get lost!

This way, girls. Move it, move it!

This way.

I told you it's lively here.

-You've got some meeting of creeps?
-No, these are boys from the band.

They play at the hotel.

They are a little bit
jolly, but also nice.

It's cold here.

You've got the shower,
toilet and hot water in the corridor.

But the boys don't use it much,
so it's mostly yours.

The door to the bathroom gets stuck
sometimes, but I had fixed it.

This is like an open air museum.

Yes. Enjoy your stay, ladies.

Mr. Abrhám forgot this here, I guess.

I forgot to tell you
to turn on the heater.

If it's still cold,
I'll come and vent the heater.

See you, ladies.

Enjoy your stay.

-It should be fine, don't you think?
-Of course.

I was living in a squat
with 15 people in Berlin,

this looks better than my flat.

And I'm sure some millionaire will
invite us to his apartment.

We won't meet him in here.

Only if he would look
for a meeting with the past.

A bet. When one of us will hit on
somebody, she will bring him to our room.

-Or into that luxury bathroom.
-At least he'll taste sex of the poor.

That could be one
of those sock kings.

-Do you think so?
-It's time to unpack and go skiing.

Remember what our mum says:
"Warm socks are the basic."

Skis...

Welcome in the course of skiing.

My task is to learn you to ski.

You don't have to be afraid.
Because I'm Hynek,

I will teach you gently,

genuinely, just like
Karel Hynek Mácha would.

Instructor of skiing.

That sounds like a good match.

He's in a good form...

He would like a non-traditional wedding.

-What God has joined together,
let no one separate. -Wait for me!

Come on, mum!

-Mum would not stand it.
-Has anybody got any questions?

-I do.
-OK, lady or miss?

I wanted to ask if you are married.

Please, don't be gay.

No, I'm single.

Or let's say I'm happily divorced.

And I am not prepared for an affair.

-He's unbelievable.
-Back to skiing now!

One by one carefully ski down this hill.

I will get lower and watch you.

So carefully follow me.

Come on.

Slowly.

Bend the knees!

Great, don't be afraid.

-Miss, come on. Don't worry.
-I don't know,

I haven't skied
since the secondary school.

That can't be so long, can it?

Come on, there's nothing
to be afraid of...

Kate, don't be afraid, come on!

-I'm going!
-Come on!

-I'm going!
-And now an arc.

-I'm going!
-Attention! Slow down!

Make an arc!

Are you all right?

-Yes.
-Nothing broken?

All right?

-I've got mouth full of needles.
-Are you all right?

Don't worry, I'll make you
the queen of the slope.

I hope I won't become
the queen of the hospital.

You've skied so lovely.
Like Alberto Tomba.

Thank you, Hynek.

OK. Let's go back.

-You are sliding so lovely.
-Excuse me?

I said that your skiing
is so nice to look at.

I say, that it is lovely to watch you.
It was a pleasure.

-And it is not anymore?
-No.

Do you know why?

Because it is much better this close.

Would you like some hot wine?
Or anything better?

Why not.

So let's go.

Follow me!

I have to apologize.
I haven't introduced myself.

I'm Kamil.

Can we be friends?

I know that the lady offers
her hand and friendship first,

but because I am the same age
as your dad, I can do it.

-Eliška.
-Nice to meet you.

You take these acquaintances
quite easy, don't you?

You know, time is money.

I'm almost always at work
and there are days

I need to blow off my steam.

And what are you doing?

Nothing important,

I am a businessman with commodities.

-And so?
-Although I am not at work today,

I can't help myself.

When I am taking
the cableway up, I have to buy...

-...or sell something.
-Attention! I'm coming!

-And before I come down, I know how
it will end. -Attention, I am coming!

What's going on?
Where is my security?!

-And how did it finish?
-Bingo!

I am almost thousand euros plus.

-That was worth that hot wine, wasn't it?
-Sure, it was!

It doesn't need to end with a hot wine...

We can have a dinner, go to sauna...

-What an idiot?!
-Thanks for the wine, but we have to go.

-This is an attack on the cabinet member!
-I am so sorry.

Mr. President!

-I am so honored to meet you.
-This is like in Sarajevo.

-You have to run for office again.
-Thank you. -I will help you.

Hello.

I need a shower and a drink.

More drinks would be better.

That should be OK.
I'm opening a bottle.

Hooray!

-I got so scared!
-What are you doing here?

I am living here.

Ctirad, why aren't you
watching the door?

And what are you doing here?

Sorry, we got it as
a replacement accommodation.

And they said
the bathroom is for us.

Replacement accommodation
is the same we have.

We are in the same situation, miss.

-Come on.
-So we will be living here together.

-We will survive it.
-Of course we will.

When we were young there was one
bathroom and toilet for everybody.

Just like that. I am Ctirad.

-Eliška. -Ctirad.
-Magdaléna. -Kateřina.

-This is my wife Šárka.
-Ctirad and Šárka.

That's like the old legend.
Do you know it?

-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.

-Nice girls. Even the dishevelled one.
-Why are you walking here in the shorts?

Get into our room!

I am really sorry for the accommodation.
I didn't know it could be such a mess.

-Stay calm, it's quite all right.
-Yes. The accommodation is fine.

Better two almost seniors...

...than three of them.

And we will survive with this.

It's true that Mr. Ctirad
could be dressed more.

And Mrs. Šárka could learn
to wash her hands.

-What do you mean?
-Didn't you notice?

She flushed and didn't wash her hands.

That was so obvious.

I am not sure if I will be able
to flush in their age.

Yes!

Cheers.

So I became an instructor.

I don't miss anything now,
I am totally happy.

Maybe there's something
what could make you happier.

It can be a little bit better anytime.

-We have a room with my husband.
-With your husband?

But he is in Prague.

Are we going?

-Sorry.
-Can you look where you are going?

That's terrible.

You will clean the wine, don't worry.
Blood would be worse.

No, I don't mean the jumper.
I am stuck!

Do you know how long
I haven't been anywhere?

I'm really out of my mind.

-Please, Kate...
-No, I mean it.

I am 35 years old, I'm sitting in
an office and grovelling in fucking excel.

And when I'm not in the office,
I'm grovelling in excel at home.

I've been falling on the ski
and I saw a part of a concert today.

But it was my most active day
in a long time.

Every Wednesday they are bringing
new barrels of water to our office.

I am looking forward to it.
Because the boy who changes it...

He is really nice and muscular.

He may be a little bit dumb,
but very nice.

I always greet him...

and that's all.

And it's better that way because
I don't want to have a dumb boyfriend.

Kate, we are here with you.
We are not doing any better.

Everything will end well.

You are so young and beautiful.

And you wake some kind
of curiosity in them.

They are the most curious about
what I have under my panties.

-That counts.
-When I got them on, of course.

I am just weird, stiff or something...

Something tells me that it will happen
and you will find the right one here.

And he'll fall on his knees
in front of you.

Yes... But it can't be anyone
in front of whom I keep falling on my ass.

-Thank you! We'll have a break.
-Girls, I'm going. -What are you doing?

Let's go.

You don't pick easy targets, do you?

-Why?
-That chick.

She's out of your league.

And probably she's even out of my league.
And what about that one? The blonde...

-She looks fine for playing.
-Come on, please.

Grill the beauty with your eyes
and focus on the braid.

-Thanks.
-You bet.

Good luck.

-Sorry!
-What are you doing?

Tony, steam it!

Have you got anything else?

Who is it?

Probably somebody from the band.
He came to invite us to the socks party.

Come in.

Sorry to disturb you, girls.

I wanted to ask if you are going to
use the bathroom,

otherwise I would use it.

Yes, of course. But we didn't know
you would be coming after us.

I'm afraid,
we've wasted all hot water.

Never mind,
I always have cold shower.

In a healthy body healthy spirit.

Thank you and have a good night.

-Good night.
-And don't be angry with us

if me or my wife would disturb you
during the night.

You know we are not twenty!

Good night.

And be cautious.

If some of you is interested

I exercise every morning in the snow.

Do you know anybody
who takes a cold shower?

-Is he crazy?
-Our gym teacher used to do that.

-I think Hitler did as well.
-That's quite similar.

-Turning off?
-Sure.

My entire body hurts.

-Good night.
-Good flight.

Ctirad, dude!

They really don't wash their hands.

-Ctirad, you are snoring so bad!
-For Christ's sake!

Those two are pigs!

Shut up!

-What are you doing?
-You snore like an ox!

Great!

Our favorite band.

No!

That's too much for me as well.

And now their fan.

I have to say that I imagined
a passionate mountain night differently.

I can't take this anymore.

Where are you going, Mr. Instructor?

I have to go up the hill.

Me too.

Show me how you ride down the hill.

Jesus!

Wait a sec!

Good morning. What's going on?

Morning. Your wife probably
left this in the bathroom.

Yes, these are my wife's panties.
She's still dressing up.

Women throw away their underwear
when they see me.

-Please, could we make an agreement?
-Hello. -Hello.

We are living here together so we have to
respect some rules about privacy.

-About intimacy and so on.
-Sure. -I thought I won't mind

-but as it turns out I do.
-I understand you, miss.

And I want to apologize
for her panties.

But I must say it is two sided.
Wait a moment.

When I came to the shower,
I found this under the sink last night.

-These are mine!
-These are yours?

I thought they belong
to that red one.

And why do you have them?
Did you smell them or what?

Excuse me!

You left them on the floor
and it was wet there.

I saw them in the dark
under the sink...

and I thought it is better

not to let them gather rust.
So I took them

and because I didn't want to wake you up,

I put them on our dryer. That's all.

-Rust?
-Yes. -On a dryer?

OK, never mind. Thank you.
All of us have to behave better.

That's right.

See you, enjoy skiing.

You've got her.

No, we've changed shorts
for panties, that's all.

Not changed,
only gave one another.

Miss, stop seducing my husband.

He's got a weak heart. Go inside.

Such a beautiful view!

Jesus Christ. My husband is here.

I could... What if I...

-I served at the paratroopers.
-Please, sit down and wait!

You have unfinished work here.

What are you doing here, Daniel?

You don't need to ask me.
Confess!

-What about?
-I've got a message that you are...

-fornicating here!
-Fornicating?

Don't you know a better word?
That's my cup of tea, isn't it?

Whenever you leave I'm immediately
eager to cheat on you!

And I fuck anyone I meet by the way.

-That's just me!
-Please, Monika...

Do you want to know,
what happened yesterday?

I've took some guy at the gas station
and we did it in the toilet.

Last night I picked up an instructor
and he was polishing me all night long.

-I can barely stay straight now.
-You can't be serious. -But I am.

Do you want to know the details?
Ask him, he's in the bedroom!

Please, wait.
I am sorry. Don't be angry.

I can't imagine how could
I trust to an anonymous call.

-You are really a fool.
-Well...

It's because I love you so much.

I can't stand an idea that you could
be in my hotel room with someone else.

I love you.

Didn't I say so? He's an ass.

-What?
-I have to go to the hill.

But my heart is horribly
beating, Mr. Instructor.

I need to be calmed.

Happily with a smile.

Good.
That will take a while.

Show me, miss.
We shall have a look.

Spread the legs a little.
Body...

your head up...
Fine.

-Bend the knees...
-What did I see yesterday?

-Sportsman.
-Chief, feathers...

Don't worry about feathers.
Show me the posture.

Legs apart.

That's not worth it.

Miss! Relax.
Trunk bends a little forward. Yes.

Bend the knees, you are not on guard.

And don't be so forced. Breathe!

Look, it's easy and instinctive,
the breathing.

Yes, that's lovely. Heads up a little.

Ladies and gentlemen, take a good look.

-This is perfect. Here, miss...
-Magdaléna.

Magdaléna is like a picture
from the ski textbook!

Once more! Bend the knees...

-Be calm.
-Yes, just be calm.

Either I am a good instructor
or you have skied already.

Nice. Let's practise.

On a slant of the hill
and don't forget the posture.

Everything stands... and falls on it.

Are you all right, miss? Nothing broken?

Only my self-confidence.
But it has been for a long time.

Are you all right?
The posture. Be careful.

Let's go!

Bend the knees more. Yes, that's it.

Good...

Jesus, I'm sorry!

-What happened?
-Don't worry, nothing happened.

-I didn't want to disturb you.
-That looked like...

but it wasn't, I was only soaping.

Miss!

Miss?

The door got stuck! Help! Miss!

Come, Messi, hurry up. Go.

Šárka!

-All right?
-Wait!

Messinka!

Messinka? Please, keep an eye on her.

Don't worry, lady. I'll take care of her.

Are you kidding me?

I don't understand why it was written
on the barrel that it can last 20 days.

We had finished it in three days.

There's still a little left.

-That's deception of the user.
-Yes, it is.

-Haven't you got shaving?
-Yes, over there.

-Bang the door and you've got it.
-You are an idiot.

Dude.

That's nice, isn't it?

Stay with us a little bit longer and they
will be jumping into your bed, too.

-That's something I wouldn't mind.
-Neither would I.

Yes, come in.

-Hello.
-Hello.

Are you coming
for a signature on your breasts?

No. I've got a mail for ing. Mrkvička.

A there is a note:

"Never give it to those
thirsty idiots from the band."

-That's you, am I right?
-Mrkva, stand up!

-Leave me alone!
-You've got mail.

After the night of crime

the day of punishment comes.

Keep sleeping.

-What?
-You've got mail.

-If you are Mrkvička.
-Yes, that fits.

Sorry.

-More like stands, right?
-It used to.

I need an ID card.

-I'll tell you what's inside.
-Try it.

I know it. Four bottles of vodka,

-four bottles of whisky...
-Yes. -...and rum.

And something else.

What? Water!

Yesterday was a feast, today water.

No, I've made a mistake

-and didn't know how to delete it.
-Sign it here.

Mr. engineer.

-Thanks.
-Do you want a breakfast?

-Bon appetite, nice day.
-A pen.

-Thank you, you are so kind.
-See you.

The breakfast of champions, guys!

-Ctirad, hold on!
-OK.

We have time.

-Somebody slammed it or what?
-Me, a little bit.

So don't do it.
It's a common bathroom.

OK, it's done.

-Are you all right?
-Ctirad, what happened?

What? The door got stuck.

-What's this? Whose is it?
-I don't know.

Ctirad, you promised me to throw it away.

-I did.
-Go to our room!

-Such a shame. Look!
-I am very sorry, miss.

-Look at it.
-Yes, you are right.

-Good morning.
-Good morning.

Wait, this was a great issue.

You've got a date
with that blonde, right?

No, I don't.

How is it you haven't scored last night.

It's sure. But she's in the room
with some granny, so we couldn't.

You have to dress up, buy a flower...

-and take the oldie into threesome.
-I'll send you to the tree.

You can try. Let's go for a beer.

Ladies, what do you think?
Isn't it lovely?

Kateřina, come on.

Bend the knees,
keep the balance, trunk forward.

Shit!

-Kate, are you OK?
-Yes.

My ass hurts like
I was having wild nights here.

And nothing like that!

-Jesus.
-OK?

So that what the fall
number 27 or 28 today?

-I've lost count.
-Are you all right?

Shit!

I'm sorry, this isn't for me.
I quit.

What are you doing?
You are getting better.

Sure!

I quit!

-Are you sure?
-Yes.

-Absolutely.
-Don't be silly.

I'm sorry to hear that.
I'll take the skis down...

-Thanks.
-...and get you your money back.

I'm leaving!

Eli, are you still in our room?

-I'll be there soon and we will go
for dinner. -Kate!

I need to sit down and not to
fall for a while.

If somebody sees us
I would be in trouble.

-Nobody will see us.
-What?

I don't know.

Wait.
Shall we make it nicer?

How nicer?

It is our first time,
so a little romantic.

-And what do you want to do?
-I love poetry.

And you?

-What a coincidence.
-Why?

-I just love poetry.
-Really? Wait.

I've got a marker.

-Really?
-Read, please.

Here it is.

-"Good night, my love..."
-Love.

"...that golden cup
full of lethal lust."

Oh, wait, keep reading.

-More?
-Yes, go on.

-"Your lovely deceitful kingdom..."
-Yes, kingdom.

-"...will be my home never more."
-No.

"I loved the worlds blooming
in the night, clear worlds..."

-Yes.
-"...from dawn got burnt away."

Burnt away.

-Somebody is coming.
-No, you're imagining it.

No, I am sure. Hide, hurry up!
To the balcony!

-I'll froze down.
-Hurry up! Only for a while.

Hurry and hide!

Blanka!

-Yes?
-Come on! Open!

-Yes, wait a moment.
-What's going on?

Blanička, what is going on?
The headmaster was looking for you.

-I wasn't feeling well...
-You're always sick!

Dress up and come down, the director
needs you to turn on the projector.

Go on!

Blanka!

-Blanka!
-Move it a little bit.

Damn!

Where are all the guys
you've been talking about?

In the bus you've talked about
millionaires and we meet only creeps.

Maybe we attract them.

What's...?

-Oh, my God!
-Are you OK?

-Hey, do you hear me?
-What's the emergency number?

-I don't know.
-I'm cold.

Of course it is.

Jesus, you are bleeding.

I was shaving.

-Is it better?
-Yes, it's getting better.

I have to go home, thank you.

What happened?
Where did you fall from?

-You were climbing to some fan, right?
-That's not true.

To be honest, I am sleepwalking.

-During the day?
-That's bullshit.

No, It's not. It's genetic.

It's an aggressive form,
which comes during the day.

I was in the fitness and all
of a sudden I'm standing on the ledge.

-And what happened? Are you hurt?
-I've only got frostbite in the groin.

-That'll be OK.
-What's going on?

-Do you need help?
-Yes, please, help us.

We'll be there soon.

-This way, girls.
-Let's go.

-Here's some tea.
-Thanks.

You're lucky. It's not broken.

-Really? That's great.
-If you want I'll take you to the clinic.

And if not I can fix it for you.

If you know how to do it
that would be enough.

All right.

Do you have everything you need?

I think I do.

But if you want to do something useful,
go to the pharmacy

-and buy him some painkillers.
-And against frostbites.

-Good morning.
-Good morning.

-What would you like?
-Painkillers.

-For a child or an adult?
-Depends on the attitude.

-Excuse me?
-For an adult,

-but he's still in his puberty.
-I understand.

-And do you want tablets or suppository?
-Tablets. -Suppositories.

-Let him have some fun.
-You're also in your puberty.

Moment!

That's for me?

You are so kind.

-Suppositories?
-They are the most effective.

How do I take it?

-I recommend to read the leaflet.
-Yes, so... an ass.

Thank you for your help,
we haven't been introduced.

I am Tonda,
but everybody calls me Tony.

Katka. Kate.

Eliška, but everybody calls me Eliška.

You'll get your wished song
from me tonight.

Now if you'll excuse me...
I need a little bit of privacy

to experiment with my sexuality.

Thank you.

-Why are you making faces?
-What faces?

Those you've got, when you were sticking
posters of Timberlake above your bed.

-Please...
-Oh, yes.

Don't show in front of me!

-We're going home tomorrow.
-Are you crazy or what?

-Good morning.
-Morning.

My wife is in a bad mood,
I'm going to have a ride

until it changes.

Don't be afraid. I won't let him go to
the bathroom by himself. Dirty bastard!

-She doesn't mean it.
-Sure.

-See you.
-Goodbye.

It's all for today.
You are all getting better.

-That's because of you.
-Time for a joint?

I haven't heard that. And I will
look forward to tomorrow morning.

And now slowly and one by one...
Remember what I told you.

Sorry, miss Magdaléna, I wanted to ask

if you are coming tomorrow.

-Shouldn't I?
-It would make me sorry,

-but I will understand.
-And if I would come...?

That would be a big pleasure.

-I'll think about it and we'll see.
-And wouldn't be helpful for your decision

-if we'd meet today for a dinner?
-A date?

Not good?

Not at all!

I thought I will spend evening
playing strip poker with the neighbours.

-But they can play without me.
-I'm sure.

Good afternoon, let me welcome you.
I am Lukáš Janda Jr., the co-owner.

I am sure you will like it here.
What Aspen or Vegas mean to Americans,

Špindl means for Czech people. Come in,
don't be afraid. We'll come back for you.

-There he is.
-You will have a great time here.

Take them to the hotel and get back.

-Good afternoon.
-Hello.

I guess we need your help.
You said Lukáš, right?

-Yes, Lukáš Janda, co-owner.
-We were supposed to stay in your hotel.

But we ended up with bad neighbours

and sexual orgies
right behind the wall...

Couldn't you move us?

Maybe I could help you.
One four bed room should be empty,

-but not until tomorrow.
-That's OK.

I'll manage your moving there.

Give me your phone number.
I'll call you in the evening.

Great. It's 738...

All of a sudden I have a date!

-Don't you mind, Kate?
-Not at all.

That was only a moment of craziness.
He's yours.

What about my mouth? Is it OK?

Just like porno good.

-We'll see.
-And isn't he too old for you?

-Magi has always picked older men.
-You know, I am a humble girl.

I could eat mouldy cheese,
drink old wine,

drive a car without a roof
and have a much older guy.

He's maybe 100 years older than you are.
What advantages does it have?

-There's no time for losing appeal?
-He has got more wrinkles than me.

The owner is writing me that we've got
a room in the hotel next door.

-That's great!
-And he's inviting me for a drink.

Eli, it looks like the magic
of Špindl is beginning to work.

-Isn't he too young for you?
-No!

Or do you think...?

I think he could be a year or two
younger than me. He looks good.

And he has two hotels
always full of people.

But what shall I wear?
I haven't got anything here.

I guess he would like "nothing" best.

-Should I shave my legs?
-You should.

-Should I do it?
-Don't hesitate.

Thank you once more.

I am sorry you had to stay
in a reserve room.

I have given some fines.
That can't happen.

This is a way how to turn
dissatisfied clients into satisfied ones?

We do what we can
to make the clients happy.

-You are so beautiful. Sit down, please.
-Thanks.

And if I may ask...
What are you running around here?

You know what?
Drink it up and I'll show you outside.

Is it possible to see you paintings?
That sounds interesting.

I have got three exhibitions and
I illustrated one book for children.

I must confess something.

-But it's a big shame.
-Tell me!

I've never been to an exhibition.

So I'll take you
and I'll show you everything.

Tell me more about yourself.
What do you read?

The Motor World magazine.

I am sorry, I had no idea they'll be here.
I would prefer something more romantic.

I'll show you something.

Those two hotels my father got back

in the restitutions
and I'm running them.

Plus the one you've been staying in.
But only until tomorrow.

Do you see that
new building on the hill?

That one as well.

Butterfly collection is old
but a collection of hotels, that's new.

And is it going well?

You see...
We have bought another hotel in Lipno.

It is going pretty well.

We are thinking
about something in Croatia,

because it will get more
and more popular.

Would you like to go there
in summer?

I would like to... Now.

Are all the skiing instructors
this talkative?

I'm sorry, but I haven't been on
a date for a long time. I am enjoying it.

We can be quiet. I don't mind.

You know...

In one moment I've decided
I won't care about women.

I will have mountains, skis and
freedom. And so I became an instructor.

I don't miss anything and I am happy.

And it worked for a long time.

Until you joined the course and...

Thank you! Thanks!

We would like to dedicate our last song
to our new keyboard player Tony!

He got badly hurt today,

but as you can see nothing stops him
and he came to give you joy and love.

And do you know why our keyboardist
is so strong and resistant?

-No!
-He has a suppository in his ass!

Because he's full of love, ladies!

And that must sometimes go out!
So we are announcing

-the Golden condom competition!
-Yes! And what is that?!

Make yourself ready!
He's a stallion!

-Get ready!
-Also men can!

Get ready!

That's wild!

-Closed, that's a pity.
-That's what we needed.

I have got keys to everything here.

Nice!

-Are you sure your sisters won't come?
-Almost sure.

-What have we got next month?
-There you can see...

-Žamberk, Vamberk, Vimperk, Šumperk.
-Classic.

-Here you are. Can I?
-Sure.

-Come in, Tony is expecting you.
-Not to disturb, we'll go for a beer.

-Tony, don't disgrace us.
-Wait!

-You've got to make an impression.
-Guys, don't leave me here!

-Don't be mad.
-Where are you going?

Let them go...

Sorry, only a small detail...

I'm proud of you, buddy!
Proud of you!

That's collecting experiences.

Be careful not to make a baby!

-Have fun!
-Go...

Where are you?

What about sauna, steam or whirlpool?

Does he think we are going to sauna
or are we going to have sex there?

Isn't having sex in a sauna dangerous?
And unhygienic in the whirlpool?

What am I wondering about? Why don't
I say something, what will get him?

I only want it to be nice.

That was terrible!
He will think I am a virgin.

God, I'm so stupid!

So yes or no?

Wow!

You are so...

-What?
-Different.

And what is this?

A raven.
You're the first to see it.

-Why raven?
-Never mind...

But that's interesting!

That's a memory of my ex.

He owned a funeral house.

Raven. He was funny.

Yes... And this?

This is a memory
of your ex who bred snakes?

It's rather a metaphor.

Sorry?

He got aroused only
when I was suffocating him.

And me too...
If you understand.

Come here!

What am I doing? We should first
go out for three months.

You're so wild!

To the cinema, hand in hand...

Hopefully he'll be a sexual machine!
A sexual machine!

That was a TGV on a short distance.

That was great, wasn't it?

You little bitch.

What is happening?

That's it. Nothing.

That's no problem.
That happens. Come to me.

But this never happens to me.

I've got a stretched Achilles heel.

Or do you like it in a different way?

What?

What?

Wake up a tiger inside you.

You can twist me around like a snake.

-Are you big man... like a gorilla?
-What are you doing?

-Give it back to me, be evil!
-No.

-Give it to me!
-Please, stop it!

Or we can try a little bunny...

-A guinea pig.
-This was a mistake.

Play the jungle book
with somebody else.

-Loser!
-Bye.

-Dry, isn't it?
-What's going on?

Karel, what are you doing here?

-I thought there are burglars here.
-We aren't doing anything here.

Of course, you aren't doing
anything here...

You've been counting
lava stones here, right?

-Well...
-Don't worry, there's no one missing.

I told you last time you have got
nothing to do here during the night.

And you too, miss. Nobody's allowed
to be here during the night.

Please, leave.

Last time...? Karel...?
This is Lukáš.

Lukáš?

Yes.

Lukáš!

Still better than Mario.
What I can remember this is Karel

and he is doing the unskilled
labours around here.

Two seasons now.

An unskilled labour and co-owner of
the hotel isn't exactly the same, is it?

-Well, that...
-And we are not moving tomorrow, right?

I'm sorry.

I've never cheated on him. I've been
doing everything for him all my life.

-And he betrays me like that?
-Betrays?

You told me he's locking
the door before you...

-but he isn't cheating, right?
-Let me see!

He could try cheating on me!
Am I not sufficient for him?

Must he still watch
the nudes in his magazines?

Be careful. Maybe he must.

I'll show him taste of a betrayal.
And you will be the tool of my vendetta!

OK.

And can't we wait a little bit?

-My leg hurts...
-You won't need a leg.

But I have to pop out
for a moment...

-OK.
-I'll be back in a moment.

-I am sorry.
-What are you doing?!

-Bunny!
-Shit!

Where are you hiding? Bunny!

-Oh, my God!
-What are you doing here?

-What's going on?!
-Bunny! Where are you?

I want my win!

My bunny!

Where are you hiding?

Where are you? Show up.

Come on! Where are you?

I haven't experienced this for so long.

You know how to get me.

Where are you?

I can feel you.

You smell so lovely.

Šárka! Are you there?

Look, that was just for fun.

It will be fun!

-Yes, but...
-Come to me.

-Jesus, lady, don't...
-Come to me!

Peel me like an onion.

Wait, don't hurt me.

-Oh, my God!
-Here you are!

-What are you doing here?
-Nothing.

You dirty whoremonger!

-That was only for fun, my love.
-I'll show you fun!

You have a lot to explain!

Dress up! Hurry up!
I am going to tear it up from you!

I'm so stupid.

Come in.

-Can I?
-Sure.

-What's that?
-Old Czech legends.

Our agile neighbours.

So how was it?

I don't know what happened
but it lasted ten seconds only.

And Kate still has a much better
experience than I do.

Magda!

I'm sorry.

Are you here?

I told the receptionist
to do something about it.

We are going to bed. Good night.

Good night.
That's unbelievable.

Ctirad and Šárka.

-I was thinking during the night.
-Oh, no!

-Magie was thinking.
-I've got a plan.

I'll forget about the guys.
No more dating.

I am done.
I'll buy a dog not to be alone.

-You are afraid of dogs...
-So I'll pick up a woman.

That's not a bad idea.
But it's not for me.

You won't continue the course, will you?

No way, but if you want
I'll go skiing with you.

-No! -Or me.
-No, I won't ski.

-Good morning.
-Morning. -Beautiful.

Messi, come here, my darling.

-I am sorry.
-Can't you be more careful?!

Cross-country skiing.
I'll try cross country skiing.

I cross-skied as a child.

-That's lovely. Come on!
-I can't move.

Marvellous panoramas.

-What are you doing?
-Falling down.

Be careful, I'm going over your skis.

-Hello.
-Hello.

That's you, girls...

-Are you all right?
-It's odd that

everybody keeps asking me this.

She just hasn't waxed enough.

Bad waxing? Yes, those who wax,
slide well. Even in any age!

Please, excuse me,
we've got a long way ahead of us.

I must tire my wife
so she will leave me alone.

-Don't promise anything. We are going.
-Goodbye!

-Who are these people?
-I can't move, damn it!

-Come on...
-You didn't wax my skis in the morning!

-I don't know.
-Don't blame it on wax...

Maybe I envy them.

-Let's go! Let's go!
-On the track!

Will you make him a nose?

You know what? This will be better.

Ann, what do they teach you at school?

So what? This is OK.

But it won't last long.

Why not, he's a good-looker?

We'll have some tea now.
And then we'll add Mrs. Snowman.

In that case we should return
the carrot where it was.

-I'm sorry. That wasn't part of the plan.
-I'll just go down.

-Be careful.
-I'll do it. -Really?

-Sure.
-Be careful. -Just watch.

Kate! Slow down!

Slow down!

Slow down!

Stop! There's a creek there.

Are you all right?

-Are you OK, Kate?
-Not this again!

That's you?

-These are the retarded ladies, Dad.
-Please, Ann...

What was that?
Down on the cross-country skis?

-A shortcut.
-Yes, that's right. A shortcut.

A shortage of Katka.

That's it. Fully retarded.

Excellent! Thank you!
That was Mrs. Ivanka.

Mrs. Ivanka is from my club.
Follow me.

Mrs. Ivanka is going back to her club.
And I'm asking who will be the next?

And remember... the main price
is a box of Champagne.

-And now...
-God bless you!

I've saved one tattoo.
An awkward ass.

...Mr. Milan in a good mood.

-Kate, sing so we have something to drink.
-Not a chance! Eliška can go.

Sorry, can we fit in?

How does it look, girls? Have you
found out where to go and what to avoid?

-Instructors.
-And snowmen.

Thanks for the Champagne!

We don't need to hear the entire song.
Go sit down.

And another participant is here.

-What's your name?
-Eliška.

And who will be the song for?

I'll sing for my sisters as a little
consolidation for our unpleasant vacation.

Girls, I love you!

She was speaking about you?
Are you Three sisters?

-Yes, we miss only Fanánek.
-Your sister's lovely! Is she single?

She sings well.
She doesn't swallow... the endings.

Maybe we can teach her!

Gentlemen, can you leave us alone?

Somebody is jealous
of the younger sister?

You stupid cow!

Do you know how much this costs?!

-The jumper costs forty thousand!
-And do you know how much the wine costs?

Fifty crowns!

Let her be, Láďa.
Filthy alternative cow.

-It's a waste of wine, isn't it?
-I've always wanted to try it.

And finally I know what it's like.

And now we'll have a short break.

That was quite good!
We should try a duet together.

-I don't think so.
-What if I'll buy you a drink?

Leave her alone or I'll make you
a facelift for free.

-I would pay for the drink.
-Get lost!

They were right.
Why am I not as nice as she is?

-Can I invite you for a drink?
-Yes.

What happened to you?

This?

That's a sad story.

And I became an instructor.

I don't miss anything and I am happy.

And it worked for a long time.

-Until you joined the course and...
-Really?

We want to start!

Yes, we do. I'm here!
A little delay,

but our Small
mountain dating agency can start.

We have got enough ladies,
but only two men...

You've got quite an odd fun here.

What odd fun?

We always hear sex noises
from your room.

You run around naked,

you fall from the balcony almost naked

-and the Golden condom, what was that?
-Nothing...

I can explain it.
Nothing happened. I swear!

-Really?
-Really.

I've always thought that
all musicians want only one thing.

That's true.
There are some exceptions like me.

Come with me,
I'll show you something.

-Jirka, I'll pay you later.
-OK.

I am sorry, girls. Germans won't come,
they got drunk in the wellness.

We are all Czechs, anyway.
Come here and join the gentlemen.

Goodbye.

Waiter, I have a question.
It is written here

that the best experience of Krkonoše
is the sunrise over Sněžka.

How can we get to Sněžka?

That's easy.
You start with paying here.

Here you have a bottle to take away,

then you go to sleep and tomorrow
they will tell you at the information.

Don't make fun of us...

I recommend you leaving Sněžka
for another day.

-Thank you.
-A bit too clever, isn't he?

And we have burnt out.

I have got a surprise for you.

-That's beautiful.
-Do you like it?

Very much.

Are you planning a concert?

I know that. Für Elise.

Every Eliška knows it.

I wanted to compose it myself but
Beethoven did it some 200 years ago.

The sunrise over Sněžka
is a magical experience.

I want to see it.

So do I.

But another time.

Nonstop.

I can't go anywhere, love.

So I am going alone.

-You are going to the bar!
-Yes.

Will you make it?

Don't worry. And you?

Me? Of course I will make it!

-I'm going!
-Bye!

Good luck!

You are really good.

Thank you.

I wanted to play guitar like my dad,
but keyboard sounds much better.

-I've always wanted to play something.
-So, what's the problem?

-No, wait...
-Right hand here, left hand here.

Very good.

Great!

-Good dog.
-Marla, come here!

Where are you?

Wait, Marla. That's you again?

-Well...
-What are you doing here?

-Are you crazy?
-I have got lost.

Lost?

Wait, I will help you.

I see, you are very jolly.
That's not a surprise.

I am going!

Not again!

You smell so bad!
Are you sick?

Are you going to vomit?

Yes?

Come here, sit down.

I'll bring something. Hold on!

Wait! Can you hold it? Wait!

-I was afraid of the dog.
-You know, she doesn't like drunk people.

-Here you go.
-I'm sorry, but I have to sleep.

Yes, but I have to undress you.

Wait. That isn't very romantic.

Sorry.

I'm sleepwalking.

I love Eliška!

Attention! Hide!

Wait...!

Is it you again?
Has anything happened to you?

Jesus, you are completely wet.

Is this Růžohorky under Sněžka?

-No, it's not.
-I have to go to Sněžka.

-To Sněžka!
-You are so drunk.

Dad, that's her again?
Why is she keeps disturbing us?

-Do you know where you live?
-On Sněžka.

-No, where you really live.
-Sněžka... -I see.

Come in.
Ann, can you find some old clothes?

I'm going to bed.

-Dad, should I call the police?
-No, that would take too long...

Birds in winter...

Come upstairs.

-Are you from the rescue service?
-Yes, I am today.

-I've got a weakness for uniforms.
-Go upstairs. Be careful.

-This way?
-Yes.

-Upstairs?
-Yes. -Be careful!

Good morning, miss.
What were you doing yesterday?

What tattoo is this?

This?

-This one is a memory of Tibet.
-Really?

I was there when I was nineteen.
I have more of them.

Me too.

Really?

-Where?
-OK.

Three.

Here on my arms and here.

A memory of a meeting with a shark.

-But fortunately he swam away.
-That's heavy.

That was a long time ago.

I've also got a memory.

On one football player from Sparta.

He also swam away.

Do you feel better?

-Dad, she's awake.
-Come down for a breakfast.

-Hi. Where am I?
-At our place.

-Where are my own clothes?
-Dad had to undress you.

And you've got
a cellulite on your ass!

-Good morning.
-Hello.

Yes, I guess it is...

-Did we...?
-Don't worry. Nothing happened.

-I've been...
-No, nothing like that.

You only appeared during the night
and needed help.

-My God. What a shame.
-It's almost dry.

The bathroom is in the room next door.

-Thank you.
-Come, Ann, we'll make some tea.

-Come in, your breakfast is ready.
-Thank you.

What was it what drove you to Sněžka?
Some kind of a bet?

I wanted to experience
something nice before I return home.

And I thought sunrise
on Sněžka would be fine.

-Many people love it.
-Yes, they do,

but they have got good shoes.
And clothes.

-And a torch.
-And they are not completely wasted!

I'm sorry for yesterday.
But I'm starting again.

I will sell my flat,
quit my job and travel.

I will give a notice.

Why am I telling this to you?
I'm sorry.

This is the way I meet people.

He saw me naked
and I don't know his name.

I know that he is divorced
and that his daughter hates me.

-What about your musician, Eli?
-He's cute.

Honza told me he's going for

some trip with that odd girl.

And that I can join them.
Maybe I would like to.

Do you think it's a good idea?

-Super.
-That's a great idea.

-I'm feeling sick.
-Why?

Did you get drunk last night?
Just like your sister?

-I am fine now. I've worked it out.
-Dad!

-They are alcoholics.
-Come on!

Look. Finally.

-Good morning.
-What are you doing?

I'm sorry I'm late, but my dog wanted
to join us and I had to explain her

-that the cableway is not for her.
-I think It's a bad choice for me as well.

Good morning! No sauna today?

I don't like sauna at all.

Yes. It's not working today.

This is Mr. Horák.
He saved my life, I guess.

-She's exaggerating.
-This is Honza. He saved me.

-Teodor.
-Honza. -Hi.

So we have saved each other,
can we go now?

Can we go?

Wow...

This will make me sleepwalk again.

It won't.

See you uphill.

Let's go, miss. Or will you walk?

-You won, buddy!
-Calm down.

But if it would waltz, I won't make it.

I have got a medicine against seasickness.
Not very well known, but effective.

-Have some.
-OK.

Where are we going? To Sněžka?

-No, Sněžka is on the other side.
-I see.

We are going to a really lovely place,
I go there since my childhood.

-Since your childhood, really? Why?
-My grandma met my grandpa there.

Oh, that's nice. When was it?

About nine months
before my mum was born.

Everything was easier
back then, wasn't it?

We are here.

There is Kozí hřbety and there is
Luční hora. And that is Zlaťák.

-I am not surprised by your grandma.
-Dad, I'm thirsty.

-Do you want a chocolate wafer?
-A wafer in Krkonoše, that's great.

Hello, Sněžka!

-You can't see it.
-But it can hear me.

What was it?

Did anything happen to anybody?
It came from over there.

Maybe somebody got lost
in the forest.

-Is anybody here? Do you need help?
-It's lovely in the mountains.

I understand the cold showers now.
They are really cold swimmers.

-What are you doing here?
-What are you doing?

We have been learning about that.

We are going for a trip
and made a little stop.

Have a nice trip!

Kate, I have to tell you something.
But you will laugh at me.

I am not going anywhere.

-Magi magic.
-Don't laugh!

I just feel I must try it. Maybe in a few
days I will know it was a mistake.

-We'll call each other.
-Yes. I keep fingers cross. I love you!

Get in, please, we are leaving.

Thank you.

Thank you very much, Honza.
For everything.

-For the trip.
-We'll repeat it!

And will we meet when you
come back to Prague with Anna?

-We'd like to. Right, Ann?
-I don't think so.

-Bye.
-Bye.

Daddy!

-What?
-Why did she kiss you?

Try to be a little nicer to her.

If we'll meet again. Please.

Bye.

Wait for me!

-Hi!
-Hi, Hedvika.

I was starting to worry.
Were you here all the time?

Lumír, you don't know how I was
looking forward to seeing you again.

Did you enjoy it?

In any case it's good
we are together again. Sit down.

You have to tell me everything.
We have a long journey ahead of us.

Right, Messi?

This will be a jolly trip.

That was Špindl.
In the end, it was quite fine.

And what about Tony?
He didn't come to say goodbye.

He can't, he has something
to solve with the band.

I am sorry.

-Do you think you won't meet again?
-I don't know.

Who are you tooting to?
Why is he stopping?

-What is he doing?
-Good luck. -Thanks.

But you're making a mistake, boy.
You won't catch the statistics this way.

Can I get in?

Please!

Thank you very much.

-Thanks a lot! -You are lucky
that my wife put in a good word.

-Without her you would walk.
-Thank you then.

Thanks.

Legs...

Spread the legs a little bit.
That's it.

Thanks. Goodbye.

Would you like some?

Šárka, turn around.

Turn. Once more.

Yes! That's it.

Do you know that there are angles,

-from which you look astonishing?
-Excuse me!

Guys, I think I've got crabs.