Sparkler (1997) - full transcript

Melba is a Californian trailer-park girl who is said to look for three kings by a phone psychic, and when she meets three guys - Trent, Brad and Joel traveling to Las Vegas, she decides they are those kings and joins them on a trip. In Vegas she meets her old high school pal Dottie.

(soft orchestral music)

(mellow melodic music)

♪ Cruising carried
me, lead the way ♪

♪ Trailing sweetly sweet decay ♪

♪ All you've lost,
you'll find today ♪

♪ 270 miles away ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ 270 miles away ♪

♪ I can't forget, come to stay ♪

♪ Following, so don't delay ♪



♪ 270 miles away ♪

♪ There's dreams
in the streets ♪

♪ There's love in those eyes ♪

♪ There's only one way
attached to fly down ♪

♪ She's mine ♪

♪ Despite it all ♪

(truck rumbling quietly)

(brakes hissing)

(truck door clicking)

- Well, here's our big stud.
(truck door thudding)

- Hey, Maxine,
how'd you make out?

- [Maxine] Drank
some, lost the rest.

- Oh, just like last week.

- Just like every
week. (laughing)



- Well, you look
like a winner to me.

- You look like a
winner to me too.

- You know, for an old gal,
you got a lot of spunk,

but frankly, I prefer a
little more meat on my bones.

(hand slapping)

- Lucky you got what you got.

My ass is as good
as any in a garden.

Ow!

(women laughing)

- Hey.

- Smells like a brewery in here.

- "Smells like a brewery
in here," you ought know.

(women laughing)

Mine, mine, mine.
- Here.

- Honey, you already
helped me clear up, say no.

(women laughing)

- I already told her I'd stay.

- You go home and count
your winnings, Mom.

- Sounds like you made
out like a bandit.

- Well, yes, I did.

Muah!

Real money, I'd be living
like the Queen of Sheba.

(women laughing)

- [Flint] I'm gonna go
shower, you girls clean up,

I know my Melba hates dirt.

- Muah!
- You do that.

- Well, that is so sweet.

(Hurricane laughing)
Sweet Hurricane.

Do you ever wonder what it
would be like to be really rich?

- Oh, I don't much
see the point.

- Well, I think
about it every time

I fill out one of
my sweepstakes.

- Oh, you must think
about it an awful lot,

but I don't see you
getting any richer.

- I know, I know, but God,
couldn't you just imagine?

Oh boy, I'd buy a new house.

- What's wrong
with your trailer?

It's the nicest one in the park.

- Yeah, I guess you're right.

- You're drooling
all over, girl.

- He slobbered on me. (laughing)

I tell you what, I
would hire a maid

or somebody to do the dishes.
- I tell you what, no, wait.

Tonight, I'll be your maid.

- Ah!

- Excuse me, but you seem
to be out of soap, madam.

- What, that's empty?

Well, it's new, expensive kind,

they don't give you
a whole lot more.

- That's okay, I'll just
use some of this bar.

- Oh no, that'll
dry out your hands.

- Oh, Melba, what do you care?

I'm just the maid, I
mean, I'm the maid.

- No, I mean it, I'll
go down to the Minimart

and get some of that
with the moisturizer in.

- Hello.
- Hello, Bob.

How's everything going
tonight? Oh, oh, look at that.

Lighters, I'm gonna
get one for Mom.

(bed creaking and banging)

Oh, great, the swamp
cooler's acting up again.

- Oh.
- Hurry,

before Melba gets home.
- Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

You like it fast, don't
you, Little Engine?

- Yes.
- Oh, yeah.

- Yes.
- Oh, God!

Oh, oh, oh!

- Yes, yes, yes.

(melodic upbeat music)

- Here it comes.
- Oh, oh!

- Here it comes, yeah!
(melodic upbeat music)

(both moaning)

(melodic upbeat music)

(car thudding)

(water pouring)
- Oh!

- Fuck!

- Oh!

(traffic rumbling quietly)
(melodic upbeat music)

- Oh, shit.

- [Neighbor] Hey, damn
it, slow down out there!

(dog barking)

- Mm-hm, well, your aura
does seem a little blue.

Let's see what we can do.

Oh Lord, three kings.

Now you listen hard, honey,
'cause here's my psyche gist.

I see you surrounded
by three kings.

- Kings?

- Kings.

- So what, like, like
King Arthur kind of kings?

- [Wanda] Well, kings come in
all shapes and sizes, honey,

some are kings inside.

There's only one kinda woman
that's fit for a king, girl.

- Shit, I ain't won
a hand all night.

- Not business,
Rockefeller, it's yours.

- That'd be mine.
- Oh, God, fucking dammit!

Give me a real chair, will you?

- Well, that's it, Stew,
you broke two already.

- I did not break them,
they were already broken.

- You did, you fat fuck.

(background country music)

- I haven't heard from Melba.

I guess that means
she don't need me.

Right now, I sure as hell
don't need her either.

- [Stew] Don't you miss her?

- [Flint] What is this,
the goddamn "Geraldo Show?"

Would you deal the cards?

- Play some poker, poker!
- No kidding.

- [Flint] Come on,
give me a winner.

♪ Here I am again and
you're trying to help me ♪

(wind chimes tinkling)

♪ Ain't it true ♪

♪ That you haven't felt these ♪

♪ Tears falling all around ♪

♪ Like birds dying ♪

♪ Like words trying
to get through ♪

♪ Somehow I know where I stand ♪

♪ And then I know that I need ♪

♪ A sure hand ♪

♪ And I'm thinking
what would be ♪

♪ If I hadn't believed
you, would I be free ♪

(Melba sobbing)

♪ Or would I
believe in him too ♪

(wind chimes tinkling)
- Whoo!

♪ I don't wanna go,
I don't wanna go ♪

- [Trent] Yeah!

Yeah!

♪ I don't wanna grow old ♪

(Trent whooping)

♪ Tears falling all around ♪

(Trent whooping)

- Trent!
- Yes!

- Trent!

- Yes!
- Trent, get back inside!

- Yeah!

- You're acting like a fag!

- Dude, you gotta try that, man.

You can feel the vibes
of all the people,

who cruise the I-15 to Vegas.

Well, Tom Jones passed
through me, I feel sexy.

- You are such a fag.

- Why do you keep
calling me that, man?

- Listen to you, "Tom
Jones passed through me.

Ooh, I feel sexy." You're a fag!

- Oh, yeah, you wanna see a fag?

♪ Da da da, da da da, da da da ♪

♪ It's not unusual for
Brad to dress in sweaters ♪

♪ Da da da da da da,
it's not on unusual ♪

- Get in car!

♪ To drive a little
Beamer, queer ♪

Yo, dude, seriously though,

I can feel some
serious vibes out there

and I'm gonna make some
good money tonight.

- Oh, flip it, flip
it, flip it, flip it.

- I'm not gonna listen to
this depressing shit anymore.

- Wayne Newton is with me.
- All right, shake it off,

she's just a girl.

- Yes.

- [Joel] Yeah, but she
kept the fucking ring, man.

- You never told us why
you broke up with her.

- [Joel] Oh, it doesn't matter.

- She told me she called it off.

(Brad laughing)

- When did she tell you that?

- I don't know, I mean,
one night she was drunk.

We were talking.
- When were you drunk

with my girlfriend?
- Dude, you know what?

She'll probably give the
ring back, it's no big deal.

Anyway, let's see
what's on this.

(radio static hissing)

- There's nothing
but static on this.

- Jesus Christ.

For God is-
- Next!

- [Preacher] The good Lord.

(DJ speaking Spanish)

- Enough of this shit.
- We in Hickville or what?

- Where's my tape case?

(tire blowing)
Shit!

(car wheel clattering)

(car door clicking)

(Trent and Brad
muttering indistinctly)

Where's the tire?

- [Trent] It's gone.

- What?

- Don't bother.

- Why not?

- I took it out.

- You took what out?
- The tire.

- What?

- I needed to make
room for the luggage.

- Oh, that's just great!

- Don't worry, we'll just,
we'll buy another one.

- I'm gonna call the Auto Club.

(mellow melodic music)

- [Joel] Shit.

- It's no big deal.

- [Brad] I got a plan.

I'm on the side of the road.

- Listen, I'm really sorry
about you and Sarah, man.

- Oh, don't worry about it.

- You guys seemed
so perfect together.

- [Brad] Yeah, I'm still here.

- Some things are
just not meant to be.

- Yeah, but if you
really love each other.

- Trent.

- [Brad] I'm on the
side of the road!

- Forget about it.

(mellow melodic music)

- Where are you going?

- [Joel] I need a refill.

- Should I stay with Brad?

- [Joel] Don't worry about Brad,

he's got his his cell
phone to keep him company.

(mellow melodic music)

- And you'll wear these.

- Oh, Mom, these are too fancy.

- Uh-uh, no daughter of mine's

gonna have a night on the
town and not do it right.

Oh, there we are.

Now let me see if I can find
something to do them justice.

Oh!

Oh, my Lord, I
forgot I had that.

- [Melba] What is it?

- Okay, don't look, don't look.

- Mom, you don't
expect me to wear that?

I mean, that is so old.

- Oh, styles are
always coming back.

Didn't you see the
Murphin's window last week?

Look at these.

Nothing I can't fix with
a needle and thread.

- The things you try
and talk me into.

- Now, I want you
to do your nails.

There's no time
to do them right.

Look in that drawer, there's
some glitter press-ons,

but I do not want
you to say a word

to Hannah at the Shag Shack.

- Why?

- Well, it'd break her heart,
wouldn't it? (laughing)

It would.

(car rumbling quietly)

(car door clicking)

(car door thudding)

- Oh, look at Melba, you
look like a movie star.

- What's the occasion, sugar?
- My freedom.

(door clicking)

(mellow melodic music)

- They said the car will
be ready by 11 o'clock?

- Holy Home Depot.

I've never seen so much
polyester in my fucking life.

- I think it's great, man,
I mean, it's their life.

(mellow melodic music)

- Check that out.

- [Joel] Whoa!

Somebody actually morphed a
human being in a disco ball.

- [Trent] I think
she's beautiful.

- Don't look now,

but Little Miss Cherry
Bomb's looking our way.

- She looks hungry.
(Brad laughing)

- Come on, man, in her
world, she's glamorous.

She's the sparkler.

- Sparkler?

- Sparklerorama.

- Glowworm.

- Glamorella.

- Godzilla.

- Glitterbug.
- Cockroach.

- Would one of you
handsome young men

care to dance with a lady?

Well, I'm a little new at this.

I, ah, haven't been
out since, you know,

15 years of marriage.

(light melodic music)

- [Trent] I'll dance with you.

- Well, thank you, darling.

Huh!

I'm Melba.

- I'm Trent.

Those are my friends,
Brad and Joel.

- You boys aren't from
around here, are you?

- No, we're from LA.

- Oh, where you headed?

- [Trent] Las Vegas.

- Well, why'd you stop here?

- We had a flat.

- Oh, I thought so, people
don't usually make a point

of stopping here
unless they have to.

So you're going to Vegas?

Yeah.

I live on the way,
I mean, you know,

if you can't live
some place nice,

the next best thing
is to live on the way.

- You see the product
of inbreeding?

- Yes, I do.

She's old enough to
be his grandmother.

- His what?

- His mother.

(both laughing)

- I'm dancing with
a boy from LA!

What are you gonna do in Vegas,

blow off some allowance
money? (laughing)

- [Trent] It's a little
more urgent than that.

- Oh?

- We're $3,000
behind on our rent.

- Oh, my.

- And two of us don't have jobs.

- Two of you?

- And the CD club is sending
me threatening letters.

- Is that right?

Oh.

Well, thank you very
much for the dance.

- It was my pleasure.

- Yeah, I certainly
do appreciate

you doing an old lady a favor.

- Oh, you can't be that old.

- Oh, aren't you sweet?

I bet you don't have a lot
of experience with women.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- Nothing, it just means next
time you take a lady to dance,

you should try leading a
little more often. (laughing)

- Okay, bye.

- Back so soon?

The way she was
holding on to you,

I figured she'd have you hitched
up to her trailer by now.

- Who's next?

- I'm not getting up.

- I don't dance.
- That's okay, she'll lead.

- [Melba] It's been
done before. (laughing)

(Brad laughing awkwardly)

Come on.

- [Brad] You're getting me
the second AAA shows up.

- You got it.

- Watch out, she'll spin you.

She's good.
(Joel laughing)

- You've actually met Mel
Gibson, I mean, what is he like?

Is he, is he nice?

- He's just a person.

- Well, if you don't
mind me saying so,

you seem a little young
to be a Hollywood agent.

- In a town like Hollywood,
age is irrelevant.

If you know what you
want, you get it.

- Well, I wish I'd known
that when I was your age

and what is it you want?

- [Brad] Everything.

- Ah, and when is this arriving,
like tomorrow? (laughing)

- When is not the question,
it's who, who you know.

- So if I was to
come to Hollywood,

knowing a person like you
would be a good start?

- It's a good a start as
any, as a matter of fact.

- Ooh, look,

he's starting to make a move.

(Joel laughing)

- You have a car phone?

- AAA awaits.

- Well, it, it was
nice meeting you.

- Yeah, you too.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Bye, Melba.
- Bye bye.

- Girl, you gonna let
those three get away?

- Oh, stop it,
they're just kids.

- [Presenter] And here's
the beauty of this,

it comes with a recipe book

for all of your favorite
Oriental recipes,

it's called "Asian Master Fry
Cooker: Taste of the Orient."

(Sherri sighing)
- Wow, it's so easy to use.

(door clicking)

Here's a recipe for tempura.
- Mom.

- Oh!
- Corn dogs!

(door thudding)
- Oh, my goodness!

- I just had the most
wonderful evening. (laughing)

- Well, come on over
here and sit down,

tell me all about him.

- Not him, them.

I met three guys at
the Backwoods Inn.

- Three?

- Yeah, they're from LA and
they're on their way to Vegas.

There were three
of them. (laughing)

- Oh-oh!

- No, no, Mom, listen,
I talked to one of them,

he's a big Hollywood agent
and he knows lots of people.

- 39 years old and still as
naive as the day you were born.

- No, Mom, look, he
even gave me his card.

- How do you know they
weren't just having fun

at your expense?
- Oh, Mom,

you didn't see the way
they were looking at me,

they were looking at
me like I was a star.

You can ask anybody at that bar.

- Well, I'm sure they
were, you look beautiful,

but how do you know they
weren't just marking you out

as some kind of target?

- What are you talking about?

- I'm talking scam, honey.

- Mom, you watch too much TV.

- Well then, why don't
you explain to me

why you are missing
one of your earrings.

- Oh, my tear drop, oh!

- Yeah, 29.95 down the drain.

- Oh, it must have fallen
off while I was dancing, oh!

- Fell off, my ass!

Now you get on this
phone and you call him

and you tell him to
bring it back here.

- You don't know they took it.

- Well, I guess there's
one way to find out.

I have never called a car
phone before. (laughing)

- Mom.
- Hm?

- Give me that.

(mellow melodic music)

(phone ringing)
- Who's calling out here?

- Well, I'll get it.

Y'hello.

Melba, hey, hi, how are you?
- No fucking way,

you gotta be kidding me.

- That's great, how'd
you get this number?

Oh, he did?

Oh, okay.
- You gave her

the telephone number?
- I did not give her

the telephone number.
- She's calling.

- We're on our way.
- I gave her a card.

- We're about an
hour from state line.

- What the hell does she want?

- Giving her the card?

- Oh, you did?
- Hang up the phone.

Just hang up the phone on her.

- Oh, I'm sorry, when
you were dancing?

(Joel groaning)
I'm sorry.

Wait a minute, let me
go check, let me see.

- What are you doing?

What are you doing?

(mellow melodic music)

- Yeah!
- Whoa!

- There it is.

- This is a bad omen.
- Wow!

Why don't we just
drop it off to you?

- Bad, bad omen.
- Look, are you fucking crazy?

- No, no, no drop off,
we'll mail it to her.

Get her address, we'll mail
it to her, no drop off.

- Okay, Melba, actually, we're
kind of on a tight schedule,

so why don't we just
get your address

and when we get to Vegas,
we'll mail it to you?

- Exactly.
- Oh, it is?

Oh, hold on.

She says it's very
valuable, it's her mother's.

- I don't give a shit.
- So?

- We're not turning back around.

She's lucky we don't
pawn it in Vegas.

- Exactly.
- What do you want

me to tell her?
- You tell her

whatever you want, I don't care.

- No, oh, I know, just meet
us at our hotel in Vegas.

- No!
- No, no!

Don't fuck this up.
- Melba, as we haven't made-

our accommodations yet.
- Give me the phone!

- Joel, take the phone!
- Trent!

- So why don't you give us
a call in a little while?

- No, no!
- Hang up the phone.

- All right, Melba,
goodbye, bye bye.

- Stupid ass!

- [Trent] She still
hasn't called.

- Thanks.

Good.

Yeah, there's enough trailer
trash in Vegas already.

- How do you know she
lives in a trailer?

- Trust me, I know the
type, pure white trash,

35 to 40, lives in a trailer,
married to a trucker,

eats chicken fried
steak with gravy.

Wears too much makeup,
shops at Target,

plays the lottery every week.

Small life, big
dreams going nowhere.

- You know, you sound
like a real agent there.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, still in the mail room.

- Oh!

- Two months, all right,
give me two months

and I'm on the fast
track to success.

- Okay, Mike Ovitz.

(phone ringing)

- This time, I'll handle it.

Brad here.

Melba, honey, how are you?

- I am so glad y'all
have that earring, yeah.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't have,
you know, if I'd lost it,

I, I wouldn't have been
able to forgive myself,

I could have, I couldn't
have forgiven myself.

- What's he saying,
what is he saying?

What is he?

What did she say?

- She's not coming
with us to Vegas,

she's gonna meet us
at the state line.

(Joel and Trent laughing)

And that's it.

- I'm going to Vegas!

- Oh, Melba, I just have a,

kind of a real bad
feeling about this.

I think I'm gonna call
my psychic friend.

- Mom, why? This is
exactly what Wanda said.

And besides, you're right,
I gotta do something

and going somewhere's
a damn good start.

I'll go see Dottie Delgato.

- Who?
- Don't you remember?

She was the head cheerleader
at Victor Valley High.

- I haven't thought
of her in years.

- She lives in Vegas
and she's a showgirl.

- When did that happen?
- Right after high school,

that girl snatched
up her diploma,

hopped in her Dodge
Valley and was outta here.

I got a letter from her
a couple years ago saying

she was one of the
hottest acts on the Strip

and once she wrote me and said

she was even dating
Siegfried & Roy,

I mean, she must be
doing pretty well.

- Siegfried and Roy?

- Well, you know, maybe
she was, you know,

in love with them or
something, I don't remember,

but she's doing really well

and she's always asking
me to come visit.

- Well, I, I don't want to
see you get all worked up

and then get
disappointed, honey.

- Mom, what is the worst
thing that could happen?

I go to Las Vegas
and make friends

with a big Hollywood agent,

who helps me start a new life
in Los Angeles. (laughing)

- Well, just get
the earring back

and be careful.

(dog barking)

And have a good time. (sobbing)

- Mom.

(melodic upbeat music)

- Okay, here's the deal,
we all play together

and any money we win,
we put in the envelope.

Does that work for everyone?

- Yeah and as soon as
Miss Victorville shows up,

we are out of here.
- Hey, no shit.

♪ Please understand
I'm a mixed bag ♪

♪ Misguided thing ♪

♪ No not knowing how the truth ♪

(bell ringing)
(background people chattering)

(customer shrieking)
- Which one should I do?

- Well, go red.

- It's on red.
- Yeah, I hate this system,

it kills me.

- Why are some chips like red?

- Relax, just think red.

Monkey, monkey,
(roulette ball clattering)

monkey, monkey,
monkey, monkey, monkey.

- Yes! That's 50, no kidding.

- Did we win?
- Yeah, we're still down 90.

- What's next?
- Let's take it easy,

we don't wanna run
through all our money

before we get to Vegas, how
about the cocktail lounge, huh?

- I say slots.
- Slots?

- Slots, what are you, my
mom? My mom plays slots.

Let's do baccarat or something.

- You should've gone odd
as well, I told you odd.

(background people chattering)
(bells dinging)

- Okay, Melba,

the future is now.

(slot machines dinging)
(background people chattering)

- [Joel] Did you sleep with her?

- Who?

- Sarah.
(slot machine arm clanking)

- What are you talking about?
- Did you?

- No, of course not.

- Well, that explains it.

(slot machine arm clanking)
- Explains what?

- Something she told me,
don't worry about it.

- What'd she tell you?

(slot machine arm clanking)

- Let's just say that Sarah

is used to getting
what she wants.

- What does that mean, huh?

- Nothing.
(slot machine arm clanking)

(slot machine dinging)
Jackpot!

Yes, money.

- Just set it aside.

(coins clinking)

Ah, I'm not having any
luck, you guys wanna eat?

- Yeah, I could go for a beer.

- How about the buffet?

- Good idea.

- [Brad] Hey, Trent, you coming?

- No, you guys go ahead,
I'm gonna go play blackjack.

(slot machine arm clanking)
Luck be a lady.

(background people chattering)

- Well,

maybe Mom was right.

Trent, Trent! (laughing)

Trent.
- How are you?

- Oh, hi.
- Good to see you.

Here you go, I'm sorry you
had to come so far to get it.

- Oh, no.
- Are you in, ma'am?

- Oh yeah, sure, thank
you, oh, thank you.

- Hey, take this.

- Oh, oh, thank,
I have some money.

- Blackjack, Melba, you
must be my lucky charm.

- Would you look at
that? Three kings.

Oh no, here, that's your money.

- No, this is mine,
the rest is yours.

(soft country music)
(background people chattering)

- So when are you
heading to Vegas?

- Probably as soon as they
get back from the buffet.

- Where, where
are y'all staying?

- The Plaza, you know,
that little place Downtown.

Hm.
- Oh, come on,

you are still ahead.

For a young fella
with so much promise,

you look like you got
the weight of the world

on your shoulders, do
you wanna talk about it?

Hey, I don't judge and
I'm a very good listener.

- How you doing?

Did you get your earring?

- Oh yes, I did,
thank you so much.

How, how are you guys doing?

- Fine, fine.
- Yeah.

- Um, we're getting ready
to go, are you ready?

- Well, I'm winning, so I'm
gonna keep playing a little bit.

- Okay.

Well, we'll meet you by the car.

- Okay.

- Okay, well, y'all
have good luck,

we'll catch up with
you later. (laughing)

- Okay.

Ditch her.

(soft country music)
(background people chattering)

- Your friends are so nice.

- Oh, yeah, real genuine.

You know, Melba, I gotta
go to the bathroom.

Can you keep playing
my hand for me?

- Oh, you got it.

- Thanks.
- Okay.

(background people chattering)

(mellow melodic music)

♪ Hm, shines like a rainbow ♪

♪ Ooh, sparkles so bright ♪

♪ Ooh, shines like a rainbow ♪

♪ Blue and black chips falling
out my pockets tonight ♪

♪ I don't know why but I'm
feeling lucky tonight ♪

- Yeah.

Oh, I'm sorry, my
friend is sitting there.

- [Croupier] Excuse me, ma'am,

do you think your
friend's coming back?

- Oh yeah, he just
went to the bathroom.

- That was about four
hours ago, ma'am.

- Was it?

(Melba laughing)

I forgot how time slips
away in the casino, yeah.

- [Announcer] Action!

Good morning, sir.

Are you Mr. May?

- Yeah, but I didn't do nothing.

- [Announcer] (laughing)
Is Melba May here?

- Why, what'd she do?

- [Announcer] (laughing) Well,
we'd like to speak to her

in person, is she available?

(cockerel crowing)
- Who are you?

- [Announcer] (laughing)
We're the Awards Committee

with the Magazine
Club Sweepstakes,

your wife is a
grand prize winner!

(door creaking)

(door thudding)
(cockerel crowing)

- Well, I'll be
damned. (laughing)

(Flint coughing)

(Flint spitting)

Hey, this is a joke, right?

- No, sir, it is not, may
we speak with Melba, please?

(Flint laughing)

- Oh my, well, it's the
funniest thing, she's not here.

- Cut!

The trailer people
are never home.

Do you know when she'll be back?

- Oh no, but I can
hold the check for her.

- No, no, no, no, you
can't hold the check,

it's not cashable anyway and
that is not how it works.

We have to present the check
to the winner in person,

get the whole happy
event on video,

after which she will
sign a release form

for promotional purposes

and do you have any idea
when she'll be back?

- I'm not really
sure. (laughing)

Hey, Fred, I'm a
millionaire! (laughing)

(Flint coughing)

- Do you know what happens if
the winner is not available

to receive the check and
we don't get it on video

and we don't get
a release signed?

- No.

- Well, we take the check
back to the national office

and the next name in line

becomes the happy grand
prize winner of $1 million.

(cockerel crowing)

Now, we don't want
that to happen, do we?

- No.
- I didn't think so.

Tell you what I'll
do, here's our card

with our phone number,

you call us the
minute she gets back

and if we don't hear
from you within 72 hours,

I think we've
covered that, okay.

That's it, wrap it up.

Why can't I work the East Coast?

People on the East
Coast are always home,

people on the East
Coast live in houses.

- What do you want
me to do with these?

(cheerful country music)

(lighter clicking)

(hair dryers humming)

(customers chattering)
(cheerful country music)

(door clicking)
(bell dinging)

- Hi, Flint.

Don't tell me, you're
here for a makeover.

- I don't need no
makeover, darling.

- Well, I don't
need any trouble,

just state your business and go.

- Well, I don't mean to
cause no trouble, Sherri,

Lord knows I got
enough of my own.

- Well, I, I know about that,
but there's nothing I can do.

- [Customer] What are
you doing with that?

- Honey, you just relax now,
this is the perm solution.

It breaks down the molecular
structure of your hair,

so it can take the
shape of the perm.

- Changes the structure,
wh-what if it falls out?

- Well, that's not
going to happen

unless you yank all
the curlers out.

Now, we're gonna let this
set for about 20 minutes.

So you relax, all right,

just relax.

Now,

(glove slapping)
what is it you want?

- Oh, I'm sorry, Mama, I know
there's bad blood between us,

but I need to see Melba.

- I don't think she
wants to see you.

- I know, I know, I
didn't do right by her,

but well, these past few days
has shown me that I love her

and I need her.

She's a part of me.

- I hope that's not the
part you gave Hurricane.

- Oh, that's all over with.

I can't tell you how much
I love her. (sobbing)

I can't tell you how
much I need her back.

- Well, if that
really is the case,

then that really
is too bad for you.

- Please, Mama, please,
please, (sobbing)

just ask her to come back home.

- I'd be more than happy to,
but she left town last night.

- She did what?

- She left town last
night, so I can't help you.

You doing all right?
- Hm.

- Your hair falling out yet?
- Hm-hm.

- W-w-w-where did she go,
when's she coming back?

- I can't rightly say.
- Don't give me that crap!

She must have told you
where she was going.

- I don't remember,

poor girl was so upset
over what you did to her,

she could've gone anywhere,
not that I blame her.

- Look, you know where she
is, you better tell me.

- Or what, what are
you gonna do, Flint?

- I'll...

(cheerful country music)

I'll,

(customer screaming)
I'll rip her hair out!

- Flint, would
you let go of her?

- Tell me where she
is, where'd she go?

(customer shrieking)
- Flint, stop!

You're scaring us!
- I don't give a rat's ass.

Where is she?

- I don't know, now she-she
said something about visiting

some old high school friend,
but I don't know where!

- Well, high school
friend, who was it?

- Flint, turn her head loose!
(customer shrieking)

- What friend?

- I don't know!

Well, she was some
old, ah, high school,

ah, ah, head cheerleader.

(customer shrieking)

Hush up, he isn't
even touching you now.

- Dottie Delgato.

Hot damn, she's in Vegas.

- Oh.
(customer shrieking)

- How would you
know she's in Vegas?

- You always keep
tabs on a good lay.

(door clicking)
(bell dinging)

- Flint, you are evil.

And I hope you rot in hell!

- Ow, that hurt.

- Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

(upbeat swing music)

(upbeat swing music continues)

- [Melba] Um, excuse me,
ladies, I hate to bother you,

but I, I was wondering if
you could maybe help me

find a friend of mine.

- What's her name?

- [Melba] Dottie Delgato.

- Hm.
- Well, actually,

she was a friend of
mine in high school.

(showgirls laughing)

- I'm sorry, honey,
but you know what?

I don't think you're gonna
find her around here.

- Hm-hm.
- I beg your pardon?

- [Showgirl] No, see,
there's no way in hell

you can stay a
showgirl on the Strip

for over what, 10
years. (laughing)

- Well, ah, she was
a really good dancer.

- Look, honey, I don't care if
she was fucking Baryshnikov,

okay, as soon as your tits start
sagging, you're outta here.

(showgirls laughing)
- Okay?

Do you know where
maybe I could find her?

- You know what? Old Jesse
might be able to help you out.

Jesse?
- Oh yeah.

- Hey, Jesse.
- Yep.

- Jesse, he's been managing
this place for, how long, Jesse?

- Since Bugsy Siegel.

(showgirls laughing)

- I bet since before I was born.

- Thank you.

Um, these ladies said
maybe you could help me

find a friend of mine,
she used to work here.

- Maybe, maybe not,
what's her name?

- [Melba] Dottie Delgato.

- Delgato, Dottie Delgato,
that name sounds familiar.

- [Melba] Well, she would've
been here in the late eighties.

- Hm, what'd she do?

- Oh, I, she was a dancer.

- What was her specialty,
what did she do?

- Oh, I haven't seen
her since high school.

She was head cheerleader, she
twirled a pretty good baton.

- Baton, huh? Oh wait,
you must mean Lady Luck.

I remember her, Lady
Luck loves to fu,

oh, yeah, I remember her,
(chuckling) she'd get more guys

horny with the things
she'd do with that baton.

- Do you know where
I could find her?

Excuse me, I hate to bother you,

I thought maybe you could
help me find a friend of mine,

her name is Dottie Delgato.

- Dottie Del Taco?

- Delgato.

- Dottie? Oh, they all
seem to be named Dottie,

Dottie, Tammy, Crystal, Vanna,
oh, that's a big one now.

Did she have a stage name?

- Um, at the Tropicana I believe
they called her Lady Luck.

- That's original.

Did she, did she
play with feathers?

- Not to my knowledge, no.

- She use appliances?

- No, but I do think she
did things with a baton.

- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Lady
Luck, loves to fuck, yeah.

No, she's been, I
haven't seen her around.

Wait, wait, yeah,
some of the boys

said they saw her at the Crack.

- The Crack, where,
where could I find that?

- Oh, honey, you
don't wanna go there.

(muffled melodic heavy music)

- [Customer] Oh yeah,
yeah! (whistling)

(background people chattering)
(melodic heavy music)

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah,
yeah, take it!

- Oh, this can't be right.

- [Ed] Can I help you?

- Um, I-I was looking
for a friend of mine,

but I think I'm in
the wrong place.

(melodic heavy music)
- Oh, yeah!

I got more money,
I got more money!

- Hey, we're all looking
for someone, who isn't?

- Take it!
- Lady Luck.

- You mean Dottie, what are
you looking for her for?

- I'm a friend of
hers from high school.

- Look, I'm very
protective about my girls.

What do you want with her?

- I'm in town for a visit.

- Okay, to take her from here?

- No, no, I just hadn't seen
her in a really long time.

- I guess that's all right.

She's up next, why
don't you have a seat?

- Thank you.

Do I have to pay a cover?

- You got a dick?

Hey, buy this girl a drink!

- Thank you.

- Okay, let's hear it for
the Crack's own Dream Barbie

and her high school
Honey Fox. (laughing)

And now the Crack is proud
to present Lady Luck.

(audience applauding)
(melodic rock music)

♪ Don't you know that you
can tease me all you want ♪

♪ An American girl,
good short skirt ♪

♪ She can understand
my condition ♪

♪ But they never see
you in that position ♪

♪ You were the girl I saw ♪

♪ 18, all above ♪

♪ I spent all my
pay on a fantasy ♪

♪ You grinding, grinding ♪

♪ Soon up I can't
see nothing but you ♪

♪ The way you move, oh,
the way you shake, groove ♪

♪ My bitch, why sit
on my troubled move ♪

- Yeah, at a girl!

(melodic rock music)

Ooh, hey, yeah!

(melodic rock music)

- 10, nine, (muttering),

75, 85, 95.

- Plus 20 bucks.
- 20 cool hash cottage.

20 bones, we're up by 20.

- Great, that'll cover
the cable bill maybe.

- What's with the
negative attitude?

- I wanna go home.

- Why?

- Fucking flat tire, we're
half a day behind schedule,

we made 20 measly bucks

and we're jinxed by
Little Miss Sparkle Queen.

- You blaming this on her?

- No, I'm blaming this on you.

- Me?
- Yeah, we could've just sat

and had our drinks
and waited for AAA,

but you gotta go
and dance with her.

- What was I supposed to do?
I was just trying to be nice.

I mean, she came
over, she's like,

"Do you guys wanna
dance with me?"

- All right.
- She looked at you guys,

she looked at me.
- All right!

- You weren't gonna say
anything, so I danced with her.

How is that my fault?
- All right, all right,

all right, it's not your fault.

- I'm just saying,
how's it my fault?

- It's his fault, Mr.
Bigshot Hollywood Agent.

What exactly did you
tell her, Brad, huh,

you're gonna make
her a big star?

- You told, (laughing)
you told her that?

- How was I supposed to
know she'd try to call me?

- You took her earring.

- You think I did
that on purpose?

- I've seen you go
to further lengths

to get to bed with
a girl before.

- Give me a break,
I've got standards.

- [Joel] Yeah, she's
gotta have a pulse.

- He's got you there, buddy.

- You got a problem with that?
- No.

- Who was the last
girl you slept with?

- Oh.
- Better yet,

who was the first?
- Come on.

- I've slept with girls.
- What girls?

- Rachel.
- Rachel who?

- This chick, Rachel.
- When did you meet her?

- I met her at the supermarket.

- What's her, what's
her last name?

- I don't know.
- What's her telephone number?

- I met her at a produce
section, what does it matter?

- The produce section?
- I sleep with chicks.

- She has nothing
do with anything.

- The point here is
that we have been hacked

by some bum fuck chick who
you had to fucking dance with

and who you promised
to make a star.

- It was your fault that we
were in that bar to begin with!

- My fault, it's my fault!
- 'Cause you cried refill!

- I wouldn't need
a fucking refill,

if your fucking tire
hadn't blown out!

- Maybe I could've
fixed the tire,

if some asshole hadn't
have left it in LA!

- Oh, I wouldn't have
fucking left it in LA,

if you-
- That's my pants!

(all shouting)

That's my shit!
- Fuck you!

- Fuck you!
- This is my shit!

- [Joel] Asshole.

- I've been with a chick!

(muffled rock music)
(muffled audience cheering)

- Dottie, you back
here? Oh, yeah.

- Jesus Christ, Ed, wait
'til I get a head on.

How many times do I
have to tell you that?

- Are we taking visitors today?

- Well, not unless they
have a million bucks

or a cheeseburger.
(Ed laughing)

- Dottie Delgato, you can't
stop cheering, can you?

- Melba May.

Lord, what are you doing here?

- Well, after all these years,

I decided to come to
Vegas and track you down.

- I bet you did.

You find out about me and Flint?

- Flint, what's Flint
got to do with it?

- You know, seeing you
reminds me of being caught

in the girls' room
smoking a joint.

(lighter clicking)

- Ah, you want me
to stick around?

- What for, I can
handle myself, can't I?

Melba, Ed,

Ed, Melba.

Now get out.

- All right.

Well, see you upstairs.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- So um, like what's
upstairs, another club or?

- It's our apartment.

- Oh, you two live together?

- Yeah, you know, it's a
dump, but she pays the rent.

- She?

- Melba, it's the
nineties, wake up.

- [Melba] Is she,
is he, is it like a-

- Melba, she's a woman,

Ed is short for Edith.

- Does she like
looking like a man?

- She does everything like a
man, you know what I'm saying?

So what brings you here?

Don't bullshit me,
'cause it must've taken

an awful lot of
effort to find me,

because it took a lot of
effort for me to get here.

- Well, Dottie, what did
you mean about Flint?

- Are you two still together?

- No.

- Well, good, then this
won't hurt as much.

You see, I've just been
waiting for the day,

that you were gonna
show up on my doorstep,

'cause I figured sooner
or later you'd find out,

that Flint and I were
seeing each other,

if you can call it that.

- You and Flint are
having an affair?

- Please, nothing so dramatic.

No, you know, once or twice
a year, he'd blow into town.

- And?

(muffled rock music)

- Well, let's just say he wasn't
the only one getting blown.

- Well, it really
doesn't surprise me.

I've known all along
that Flint was scum.

- Yeah, you got that right.
(muffled audience cheering)

- Well, why'd you
keep seeing him?

- Why the hell not?

You know, it's always nice to
have a man once in a while,

I mean, I'm no spring chicken,

Besides, it was kind of fun
to see Ed get pissed off.

- [Melba] Why would
Ed get pissed off?

- (laughing) Because
whenever Flint would show up,

she knew I was off limits.

Let me tell you, she
gets mighty pissy,

when she ain't getting any.

(muffled rock music)

- What, like you and Ed,
you mean you and she?

- What can I say?
I'm a dyke's bitch.

But you know, it's free rent.

- And what, Ed would just
let you go off with Flint?

- Look, if you're not here
about Flint, why are you here?

- Well, actually
I left everything

and I'm trying to meet up
with some friends of mine

and I need a place to stay.

- Who are the friends?

- [Melba] Three boys from LA.

- Well, shit, girl, if I had
three boys, I'd dump Flint too.

- [Melba] No, now,
they're just friends,

it's nothing like that.

- Listen, they're all just
friends until you do them

and then they're nothing.

Well, my next set
isn't for another hour,

so wanna go upstairs
and drop off your stuff?

- Yeah.

(Dottie laughing)

- [Dottie] Like I said,
it's a dump, but it's free.

Hi Ed, how are you doing?
- Hey.

So is your friend
staying for dinner?

- [Melba] Oh no, thank you,
I've gotta find my friends.

- Oh, where are they staying?
- At the Plaza.

- Well, you know,
I'll tell you what,

why don't you stay for dinner

and then I'll go do my next set

and then you and I will
go and find them together?

You know, girls' night
out, just you, me

and your three little boys.

- So are we three having dinner?

- Yeah, thank you.

- Dottie.
- Huh?

- Set a place, please.

- Ed's cooking, she
must really like you.

- Are you sure I can't help you?

- Everything's under control.

Mm, hope you like chili though.

- Oh, leave her alone, Melba.

She loves making her chili,
actually it's really good.

- I'm very proud of it.

- Well, shit, girl,
you should be,

you're the Nevada
Chili Cookoff champion

three years in a row.

- Well, at least
let me make dessert.

- Go for it,

but I don't think we really
have anything though.

- Well, I mean, okay,
I'll find something.

(Ed sighing)

This is my famous

rice, rice diddley.

- Wow, it looks like
a bunny bottom pie.

- (laughing) These
are the cheeks.

- That be the butt box.
(all laughing)

- Well, alright, now
wait, we're not done,

this is what we do now.

Now we are going
to saturate them

in this very fabulous liqueur

and we are going to on the
count of three, set them ablaze.

- Will that burn them up?

- No, no, it's called flambe,
the alcohol will burn off

leaving only the
delicate taste of liqueur

to saturate your
bunny bottom pie.

(Ed laughing)
- Oh, fun!

- Okay, on the count of
three, are we all ready?

One, two, three,

light them up.

- Whoa!

(fire whooshing)
- Whoa!

- Sweet Jesus!

Oh, I think I singed
my eyebrows, oh, Ed!

- Oh, I love my
little sugar shag.

- Oh, shit.
- It's okay, it's okay.

(Ed laughing)
- Ah!

- I haven't had this much
fun since Girl Scouts.

(background people chattering)

- [Trent] Yes, we
are, hit me, baby.

- You know, Brad was way
outta line with you earlier.

- When?
- Back in the room.

- Oh, he was just talking shit.

- No, it's none of his
business who you sleep with.

- He don't mean anything by it.

(craps dice thudding)

- Trent.
- Yeah?

- Why didn't you
sleep with Sarah?

- I don't sleep with
friends' old girlfriends,

that's not cool, you
were engaged to her.

- Come on, you're not
telling me the whole story.

- What story?

- How could you resist?

- There's nothing to resist.

- Why, what's the matter?

- Nothing's the matter.
- Oh, you don't like girls?

- What?

- Look, man, you can tell
me, all right, it's okay.

- Tell you what?

- Do you ever have
like feelings?

- Feelings?

- You know, like
feelings for a guy?

- No.

- It's a perfectly
natural thing.

- What is up with you, are
you saying I suck cock?

- No.
- Then what are you saying?

- I'm not saying
that, I'm saying that-

- What?
- It's not a bad thing.

- What's not a bad thing?
- To have feelings for a guy.

- Are you saying because
I didn't sleep with Sarah,

I'm a fucking homo?
- No.

- Then what are you saying?

- I'm saying that if you
were, it wouldn't matter.

- Well, what about you, why
did you break up with her,

if you think she's
so irresistible?

- She broke up with me.

- Why, because you're a fag?

- Exactly.

- Fuck you.

- Yes, yes!
- Yes!

- Dude, Trent, dude, I
just made 1,000 bucks!

- [Trent] That's great.

- Did you hear what I said?

I just picked up a grand,
half of it on the last round!

- It's really
great. Where's Joel?

- I, I don't know.
Hey, how'd you guys do?

(chips clattering)

Holy shit!

(chips clattering)

(faucet water running)

(door clicking)

(soft melodic music)

- Hey.

Listen, Joel, what do
you do with your life

is your own business, you know.

- Please spare me, all right.

- Joel, I just want you
to know that I'm trying.

- You're trying?

You're trying what?

- Joel, you're still
the same person to me.

Joel.

Shit.

(Trent sighing)

(mellow country music)

- I've been here before.

- Oh, really?

- Oh, look, to be 20 again.

- Yeah, I know what you mean.

- Oh, (laughing) I guess
we still have something.

- I'm gonna see what
room they're in, okay.

- All right.

(gentle melodic music)

(gentle melodic music continues)

- [Trent] So how
long have you known?

(gentle melodic music)

- I always have.

- [Trent] Even when
you were a little kid?

- Ever since I had a
mind to think about it.

- You must think me and
Brad are total dicks then.

- No, I don't.

- [Trent] Then why
didn't you tell us?

Why did you keep
pretending the whole time?

- Why?

- [Trent] We're your friends.

- And you and Brad are
just gonna understand?

- [Trent] Everybody has
something like that.

- Everybody has
something like what?

- Something they wanna
hide and not tell.

(gentle melodic music)

(Trent sighing)

(sighing) Okay.

I just wanna to let
you know that I'm here,

if you wanna talk or anything.

- Well, now you know.

(gentle melodic music)

(background people chattering)

- I called their room,
but they weren't there.

- Didn't you leave a message?

- Well, no, I wanted
to surprise them.

- Well, I thought they
knew you were coming.

- Well, they did,
but they don't.

Dottie, what are you staring at?

- Oh, just a fine
piece of manhood.

- I can't believe it,
it's Brad. (laughing)

- You know him?

- Yeah, that's my friend.
Brad, Brad! (laughing)

- Melba, what are
you doing here?

- I'm visiting my
friend, Dottie Delgato.

Dottie, this is Brad.

- Very nice to meet you, Brad.

- Nice to meet you.

- [Melba] So where
are Trent and Joel?

- Um, I don't know
where they are.

- Well, let's go find them.
- I don't even know

if they stayed in the casino.

- Well, they're bound
to come back to the room

at some point, right?
- Eventually.

- Okay, let's go
leave them a message.

- I-I really don't even know
when they're getting back.

- Well, this is
really important,

I need to see all three of you.

This time, I have
something to give you.

Well, Trent, really, so come
on, let's go. (laughing)

- Shit.

(mellow melodic music)

(door clicking)

Trent, Joel. Well,
they're not here.

Look, why don't you give me
the number where you're staying

and we'll hook up
with you later?

- Could I just
use your restroom,

you know, just to freshen
up, you don't mind, do you?

- She's a showgirl.

- I really don't know
when they're coming back.

- Well, you don't mind
if I wait, do you?

Because, you know,
I wouldn't ask,

if it wasn't really important.

Ooh, bouncy!

- I've been up all night,

actually I just
wanna get some sleep.

- Oh, you just go right ahead,

I just, I won't
bother you a bit.

(door clicking)

Talk about all the
luck, look who's here.

- Melba, what are
you doing here?

(door thudding)
- I think I'm gonna be sick.

(door clicking)
- I'll be right out!

- Who's in the bathroom?

- That's my friend, Dottie,
you'll meet her later,

but guys, come over here, I
have something to give you.

- No more earrings, please.

- Actually this is for Trent,

but it'll probably
help out all of you.

- What's this?

- [Melba] It's yours.

(door clicking)

- All right, let's party!

Hi.

- That's Melba's friend, Dottie.

She's a showgirl.

- [Joel] Of course she is.

- I don't understand, what
do you mean this is mine?

- With the money you
loaned me at Buffalo Bills,

I kept playing, waiting
for you to come back

from the bathroom and I kept
playing and I kept winning

and finally morning come

and I had all these
chips in front of me

and I just thought
it was only fair,

that you should have your share,

since it was your money
that started me off.

- Melba, I can't take this.

- I can. (laughing)

- No, you won it, you
take it for yourself.

- Oh, I kept some for myself,
this is just your half.

- Huh?

- I don't believe it.

- Well, that's what I'd
do for any of my friends.

- Well guys, you
know what this means?

We've got our rent
money and then some.

- Yeah, we do.
- What,

you've got 3,000 already?

- Well, with this we have 3,700.

- Oh, I can't believe, okay,
you know what this means?

Now we have to go celebrate.

- Yeah, let's go
out and celebrate.

- Sure, why not, how much
damage can we do in one night?

- Well. (laughing)
- That place has all,

all the like ribs and stuff.

Hey Joel, don't you think
it would be a good idea

to go out and celebrate?

- Come on.

- Yeah, it's always a
good idea to celebrate.

- Yeah.
- All right,

it's settled then, Miss Delgato
here knows all the hotspots,

don't you, Dottie?
- Oh yes, I do.

Let's go paint that town red.

- All right, Melba, let's go.

(melodic upbeat music)

(audience applauding)

- Don't fuck with the clown!

- Okay, let's hear
it for Bazooka!

The Crack's own queen
of fun and pleasure.

Now beaming down
from the Love Sector,

the Crack is proud to present

Captain Uhura!

(audience applauding)

♪ There were times ♪

♪ They were for me ♪

♪ Can be with a man,
one, two, three ♪

♪ Can you even name a woman ♪

- What the fuck?
(Flint laughing)

- Don't worry, darling,
not the real thing.

- What do you want?

- [Flint] I just
came to see the show.

- Well, I'm sorry,
we're full up.

- Full, where you full?

- We're full up to here
with shit like you.

- Oh, baby, come on, I'm sorry.

Look, I, I'm a paying customer
just like anybody else.

- I guess you're no different
from the rest of them.

Careful, Flint, I'm
watching your ass.

♪ Round and round
and round it goes ♪

(cash register clattering)

♪ Feels like a tornado,
like a tornado ♪

♪ Spinning out of control ♪

♪ Round and round
and round it goes ♪

(customer laughing)

♪ This love is like a
tornado, like a tornado ♪

♪ Spinning out of control ♪

- [Uhura] We don't get men
like you in here very often.

You gonna make Uhura all hot?

- Ah, I love you, baby,

but I think you better
give it to someone else,

I'm saving it for Dottie.

- Come on, what you wanna
wait on her tired ass for?

I'll let you ride the star show.

(both laughing)

- Well, you know, if
you put it like that,

maybe we could get
together later on.

But right now, I gotta wait
and talk to Dottie first.

- That sounds good to me, baby.

But Dottie's all
through for tonight.

Don't look so upset, that
just gives us more time

to explore strange new worlds.

- Christ!

You're a man, oh God!

- They don't call me
Captain for nothing.

- Ah, ah!
- Warp speed ahead!

- Get off of me, get off!

- Back on stage.
- All right.

- Jesus, what, are you
into rednecks these days?

- Uh, all you freaks,
get away from me!

(background people chattering)

- [Ed] I think you've done
enough damage for one night.

- All right, all right,
all right, all right,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, okay,

I just came here to
see Dottie, okay.

Captain Freak over there says
she's not dancing tonight.

- No, she's not, so I
think you'd better leave.

- I'm not going anywhere 'til
you tell me where Dottie is.

- Either you go or
I call the police.

- Oh, the police, well, yeah,

I guess we both know you
can't take me on yourself.

- Oh, don't push it, Flint,

I think we both know
I can hold my own.

- Oh, hold your own, huh,
is that what you did?

Shit, as I remember,
you should've thanked me

for those two black
eyes I gave you.

Must've saved you a
fortune in eye makeup.

- You sick motherfucker,
you're out of here!

- Get off me!

(glass shattering)
Dyke!

- Dickless wonder!
- Uh!

(both grunting)

- Get him, get him!

(Ed and Flint grunting)

- Give me your face, I'll
give you another makeover!

- Drop dead, asshole!

(Uhura whooping)

- Get off me, you freak!
- Argh!

(Uhura thudding to floor)
(glass shattering)

- You're gonna
leave in a body bag.

- Yeah, you want some
more of this, bitch?

You tell me where she is.

- Fuck your mother!

- You tell me!

(both thudding to floor)
(glass shattering)

- Argh!
- Tell me where she is!

Tell me!

Tell me!

Tell me, tell me.

- Plaza, you fuck face.
(Flint laughing)

Uh!

- Now, that wasn't
so hard, was it?

Why is it the only way to get
information out of a woman

is to grab her hair?

- If I ever see you again,
I swear I will kill you!

♪ I like sleeping all day long ♪

♪ I like sleeping all day long ♪

♪ I like sleeping all day long ♪

♪ I like sleeping ♪

♪ But I wish my baby
would come home ♪

♪ Come home ♪

- I'm gonna go get
some water, okay.

- Oh, I am having so
much fun. (laughing)

- Yeah, it looks
like Brad and Dottie

are having a good time too.

- [Melba] Um, if you
don't mind me saying so,

it doesn't look like
you're having too much fun.

- [Joel] I got a lot on my mind.

- Yeah, I noticed,

like you're not getting
along with your friends.

- Why do you say that?

- [Melba] It's all
over your face.

- [Joel] Oh?

- Every time Brad
opens his mouth,

you look at him like you don't
believe a word he's saying.

- I don't.
- I know.

He talks in big,
definite statements,

the only way he can feel
bigger is to talk bigger.

He's just trying to
figure out who he is.

- Brad is in his own world and
he talks a lot of bullshit.

- You should be more
patient with them.

You're more mature than they are

and, and even though you're
the same age, they're younger.

- You don't think Trent
knows who he is either?

- Oh, isn't Trent just the
cutest little thing like Bambi

looking through
those big, doe eyes?

He thinks the whole
world's wonderful,

'cause he doesn't have the
experience to know any better.

I bet he's never
been with a woman.

Now, not that that's a
good thing or a bad thing,

but it can certainly affect
the way you view the world.

You know what I see about you?

Well, you remind me of me or
at least how I used to be.

- I do?

- Listen, before I came to
Vegas, I was very unhappy,

so I did everything I could to
make myself happy with things

instead of dealing with
what was making me unhappy

to begin with.

So I collected a lot of things,

you, you drink.

I used to walk around
putting on airs,

pretending I was
somebody I wasn't,

but you walk around
in a big cloud of doom

to cover who you are.

- So,

who do you think I am?

- I don't really know,

but I know what you're not,

you're not alone, you are
surrounded by friends,

who probably care a whole lot
more about you than you think.

I'd like to consider
myself your friend someday.

- Ah, this kid is some dancer,
any more of his sexy moves

and I won't be responsible
for my actions.

(Melba laughing)

You wanna go back to the hotel?

- Oh, wait a minute.

I don't think I've
had the pleasure of
dancing with you yet.

- Oh, my friend,

I'd be honored.

Oh, wait a minute, when I first
danced with Brad and Trent,

I was wearing these.

I don't see why you
deserve any less.

- [Joel] The sparkler.

- Sparkler?
- Yeah,

that's what we called you
when we first met you.

- That's right, we did,
among other things.

- Let's dance.

- You called her the
sparkler, what's that?

- Oh, that's just a
nickname we gave her.

- I want a nickname too.

- Yeah.
- Ah-huh.

She's the sparkler, what am I?

(Trent and Brad laughing)

What?

- I don't know, I
can think of a few.

- Yeah, what?

- How about Sparklepuss?

- Oh, you haven't
even seen it yet.

- No, no, I didn't mean that,

I meant, ah, I'm
gonna get some water.

(melodic upbeat music)

- Anybody up for
some more gambling?

- Blackjack?
- Yes.

- [Dottie] Oh, let's
find a lucky table.

- Well, I'm up for
some craps myself.

- Oh yeah, I just love to
blow the dice, excuse me.

- Here is $200

for each of you

and we still got the rent
covered for next month.

- Thanks, Pappy.

- You're welcome.

So wanna roll the dice
when it's our turn?

- Oh, I'd love to, handsome,

but I'm just gonna go freshen
up until the dice get here.

♪ Coming from a man
is a sweet thing ♪

- [Dottie] (sighing) All right.

♪ Sweet thing here ♪

♪ Sweeter than you do ♪

♪ She's an ocean and
I'm falling for her ♪

- That blush looks very
nice in this light.

- Oh, I've always liked it.

- And that lipstick
goes perfectly.

- Oh, haven't had
any complaints.

- Who makes it?

- It's from a collection
called Sexy Face. (laughing)

- Wow!

- This is Sex Pout number three.

- Hm.

- And this is Sex Flush,

no number, brings the men
in like bees to honey.

- I'll have to remember that.

- Hello, darling.

- Flint.

- I've been waiting
all night to see you.

- Sexy Face.

- (sighing) Flint, she
doesn't wanna see you.

- Yeah, she does, I
know she loves me.

- I think you'd
better think again.

- Oh, come on, Dottie,

Melba's loved me ever
since Victor Valley High.

- You know, in case
you haven't noticed,

a lot has changed
since high school.

- Ah-huh.
- Well, maybe except you.

- Oh, you're absolutely right,
Dottie, I haven't changed,

I still love Melba just as
much as I did back then.

Hell, who knows?
Maybe even more.

Don't I at least deserve
a chance to talk to her?

- Well, maybe so, but I
don't see what I can do.

- Well, you're her friend,

you can tell her that Vegas
is no place for a lady.

I mean, it's fine
for the likes of you.

- What is that supposed to mean?

- Well, I'm just
saying you're tough,

you were made for the fast lane.

Hell, Melba doesn't even
belong on the highway,

she's too simple for
a life like yours.

- I would hardly
call Melba simple.

- I'm not saying simple, stupid,
I'm saying simple, naive.

She needs someone
to take care of her.

- Like you?

- Yeah, like me.

I'm not perfect and I
know I got problems,

but I love Melba and I
would take care of her.

Things will really be
different this time.

- And how's that?

- I got a guaranteed
ace in the hole,

but you gotta promise
not to tell Melba.

- (sighing) Flint, I don't
have time for your games.

- Believe me, Dottie,
this ain't no game.

- Oh, shit, I get this
stuff all the time.

(background piano music)

What's this?

Is this a joke?

Oh, she won?

(both laughing)

Well, Flint, I gotta
hand it to you,

I mean, it's no surprise
that becoming a millionaire's

made a changed man out of you.

- Well, (laughing)
it doesn't hurt,

but you gotta believe
me when I tell you,

I really do love Melba.

- Well, what do you want?

- If you could just get Melba
to talk to me in private

for a few minutes, I would
really appreciate it.

- Privacy in Vegas, you
have got to be kidding.

- I brought our trailer,

it's parked right
outside the hotel.

All you gotta do is get her
to meet me in the trailer,

so we can talk in private
for a few minutes.

- Well, I mean, I'll
see what I can do,

but not promising
anything. (laughing)

- [Flint] Great, here's the key.

- All right, I'll tell her,

um, but you'll have
to give me some time.

- How much?

- An hour, an hour and
a half at the most.

- Okay, I'll be waiting.

(both laughing)

Thanks, Dottie.
- Ah-huh.

- I owe you one.

- Well, maybe just a few bucks.

(melodic country music)

Excuse me.
- What took you so long?

You missed our turn.
- Oh, don't worry,

it'll come back
around, it always does.

My turn.

(Dottie blowing)

(Dottie laughing)

(dice thudding)

Oh! (laughing)

- You sure got a way
of blowing the dice.

- Oh, I've got a way of
blowing other things too.

Look, why don't you
just roll the dice

and then we'll blow this joint?

- Yeah.

(dice thudding)

- [Dealer] Crap dice.

(melodic country music)

- Do you ever double down?

(Melba giggling)

- You guys, I'm
ready to turn in.

- Well, okay, thank you,
let's finish up here

and find Brad and
Dottie and just go.

- Ah, I don't think that's
such a good idea actually.

- [Melba] Why not?

- I just saw Brad and
Dottie and it looked like

they were having
an intimate moment.

- Brad and Dottie?
Holy shit, what?

- What are you talking
about? You must be mistaken.

(door clicking)

- [Dottie] Oh, Jesus Christ!

(door thudding)
- What the hell is this?

- [Dottie] Oh, it's Melba's.

- [Brad] I knew it, I knew
she lived in a trailer.

She drove here in this?
- No, her husband did.

- Her husband?
- Ah-huh.

You know, I, I didn't
really come here to talk.

(bed creaking)
Oh!

- Well, hello, Melba, all
right, it's Miller time.

(truck engine starting)

(trailer clattering)
- Jesus, oh!

Flint!

(trailer clattering)
Oh, God!

Flint, it's me, Dottie, stop!

(trailer clattering)
- Oh, my God!

- [Dottie] Shit, oh,
my God, I'm sorry.

- Oh, what the hell?
Dottie, Jesus Christ!

(door clicking)

- So I sort of saw her
dragging him this way.

(truck door thudding)

- Melba!

(soft melodic music)

- Flint, what are
you doing here?

- Are you all right?

- Yeah, I'm fine as
long as you just stay

right where you are.

- Oh, come on, baby, you're
not still mad at me, are you?

- No, I'm not mad.

- Well, good, let's go home.

- Now what makes you
think I'd go back?

- Well, that thought
crossed my mind,

so I brought home to you.

- That's her home?
- Brad was right.

- Shit, I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- You know what?
- I'm sorry.

- You know what, I thought
young boys could do it anytime.

It's okay, you can do it.
- Well-

I'm sorry, I, I can't.

- Please, can't you
just close your eyes?

Come on, is it the hair?

Here, look, there, it's better.

Thanks.

- Come on, Melba, please
don't be this way.

I promise I'll be good.

- Flint, leave me alone,
you are wasting my time.

- Melba, please don't
make me lose my patience.

- Let go of me!
- She said she doesn't wanna

go home with you,
now just relax.

- Oh, man, wow! (laughing)

You're picking them young
these days, aren't you, Melba?

- Let go of me.
- I said leave her alone.

- Fuck!

- I said I can't do it!

- [Dottie] Brad, get over here.

- [Brad] What-what's going on?

- It's Melba's husband,
he came to take her home.

- [Joel] What the fuck were
you doing in here, man?

(door thudding)
- I don't know, forget it.

- Hi,

- Hi.

- Well, she's here.

- You were supposed to get
her inside the trailer.

- Somebody tell me
what's going on?

- Melba, I drove all this
way because I love you.

- Don't fall for him-
- Shut up, shut up!

And I need you and I
know you love me too.

- Melba, it's bullshit.
- We can work this out.

- Listen, he just-
- Shut up!

- Get your fucking
hands off her!

- Let go!
- Don't!

- [Melba] Listen, let go
of her and we'll talk.

- In private?
- Yes.

- Ow!

- Melba, it's a trap.

He was gonna try and kidnap you.

You won the sweepstakes, Melba,

I saw the letter, the
envelope, everything.

- What?

- (laughing) Ow!
- No!

(all shouting)
(bottle shattering)

- Shut up, everybody shut up!

- Oh, God!
- Shut up!

Now Melba, I'm telling
you for the last time.

Melba May.
- Oh, God!

- You get in that trailer
or I will cut her head off!

- Oh, God!
- Let her go.

- Let her go.
- Put the bottle down.

- [Flint] So what's
it gonna be, huh?

- He's not gonna do anything
with everybody watching.

- Shut up!
- Chill, man.

- I'm telling you, I will cut
her piece of shit head off,

I swear I will!
(gun clicking)

- After I shoot off yours,
now drop the bottle.

- Oh, God.
- Oh, Ed!

(bottle shattering)
- Don't move!

Dottie, go!
- Oh, God.

Wait.

(hand slapping)
Pig!

(traffic rumbling quietly)

Here.

I'm sorry, I, I shouldn't
have fallen for his shit.

- Yeah, you and me both.

- I think one of you should
be calling the police.

- Yeah.
- Oh, please, please

don't call the police.
- Look, Flint,

either we call the police or
I blow your freaking head off.

- All right, call the
police, call the damn police!

- Don't move!

- I would like to have
a word with my husband.

- Ed, you keep that gun on him.

- Melba, you know you're
the only one I ever loved.

Can't we just forget
about all this?

- Flint.

(blow thudding)
- Uh!

(melodic rock music)

- Yeah.

Okay.

(Flint coughing)
- Fucking stay there.

- Are you sure you
wanna move to LA?

I mean, you know you
can always stay with us.

- Thank you, but I gotta go.

- How are you gonna survive?

I mean, you don't know anybody
out there and believe me,

it ain't easy being a
single girl on your own.

- Well, I know it's not,

but this is something
I've got to do.

- Well, I guess
with a few million,

it'll make life a little
easier. (laughing)

And besides, if you ever feel
spending any of that money,

you know where to find us.

No, you know what I mean?
(Melba laughing)

If you, you know
where to find us,

if you are ever feeling lonely.

- Yeah.

- Well, we'll take care of her.

- Aw, now come on,
girls, you didn't think

I was gonna forget
about you two, did you?

- [Melba And Dottie]
Ah! (laughing)

- Oh, thank you,
Dottie and you, Ed.

- You have a good
trip, come back.

- Yeah, I will, I'll send
this right on when I collect.

Thank you, okay, keep dancing.

- All right, Melba.
- Thank you very much,

appreciate it.
- Bye.

Bye.
- Bye, sweetie.

- Bye.
- Bye bye.

(background people chattering)

- See you.

- Bye, Brad.

(mellow melodic music)

♪ Green is the color I see
when I look in your eyes ♪

- [Melba] Hi, this is Melba.

It's beautiful today and
there's gonna be a beep,

you talk to it, okay?

And, okay, have a nice day.

(phone beeping)

- [Flint] Hello there, Melba
May, it's your daddy here.

(kissing) It's me, you can
pick up the phone now, honey.

Honey pie, you gotta
post bail for me, okay?

All right, baby? (laughing)

Melba May, pick up the
phone, you there, baby?

You there, hm?

♪ Hm, shines like a rainbow ♪

♪ Ooh, sparkles so bright ♪

(phone beeping)

- [Flint] I don't know
what's going on there, honey,

I've been in here a
couple of weeks now

and I'm ready to get
out and I swear to God,

you're still to pick
up the damn phone.

I don't know what the
hell you trying to do,

I mean, I'm sitting here, I'm
not gonna call nobody else,

I ain't got nobody else
to call here, Melba.

My lawyer called you, he
told you what account number

to put it in, I don't know
that shit, get me outta here,

for crying out loud,
what's the matter with you?

♪ Here I swing by your
place on the phone ♪

- [Flint] Come on, Melba,

pick up the fucking
phone, will you?

♪ Here right now,
you're coming home ♪

- [Flint] God, pick
up the fucking phone!

(phone beeping)

♪ Who let you show
the pockets now ♪

- [Flint] What did I do?

All right, I fucked a couple
of your friends, okay.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm fucking sorry, man!

I gotta fucking sit in jail
for three fucking months?

Oh, God!

♪ Hm, shines like a rainbow ♪

♪ Ooh, sparkles so bright ♪

- [Flint] I'm
really, really sorry,

that I was such an asshole
and I swear to God,

if you don't pick up that
fucking phone right now, man,

I'm gonna-
(phone beeping)

Oh, God, I'm talking
to a fucking machine,

I'm talking, hey, I'm
talking to a fucking machine.

Hey, I'm talking to
a fucking machine,

what an asshole I am.

(phone beeping)

♪ Yellow the color of
sparkler's glow in the night ♪

♪ Sitting right down,
finding a much better light ♪

♪ Hm, shines like a rainbow ♪

♪ Ooh, sparkles so bright ♪

♪ Hm, shines like a rainbow ♪

♪ Ooh, sparkles so bright ♪

- [Flint] Melba.

Melba, baby.

Honey.

Melba May.

Oh!