Space Girls in Beverly Hills (2009) - full transcript

Three vibrantly retro space girls from the planet Vanisia must try to fit in as normal Beverly Hills women when they suddenly make a crash landing in the backyard of wealthy infamous playboy Baron Von Benson. Baron and his women chasing buddy Steve, soon realize that it takes something out of this galaxy to tame their cheap bad boy ways.

(air whooshing)

(funky eerie music)

♪ Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man ♪

- Ooh wait.

- Princesses, please, come to bed.

- I don't wanna go to bed.

- Can you please read us a story?

- Okay, I will tell you a story

if you come to bed.

- [Princesses] Yay!

- I will tell you the story

of how I became a queen.

- [Princesses] Yay! (cat meowing)

- A long time ago before you were born

this was an all-female planet.

And there was a beautiful engineer, space engineer,

by the name of Katanna.

- [Princess] Wow.

- And I was a 4th-cloned casine.

Queen Ziba decided

to take action. (cat whimpering)

And she sent her best space warriors for an exploration.

She thought that maybe the male gene

could be found.

(tense music) One million megadons ago,

the small planet Vanisia was struck with a terrible tragedy.

All of the males on the planet were killed

when they went off to fight the war of the Sana Galaxies.

Although it was awful,

the females kept the race going

through cloning and transplanting.

They evolved into a superior race,

acquiring supernatural powers and skills and beauty

far beyond any species known in the galaxy.

(planet rumbling)

(women chattering)

- Queen Ziba.

- Settle girls.

- Quiet, all of you now.

- As you know, I've called you here today

to discuss the tragedies (tense electronic music)

of the war of the Sana Galaxies.

All the males from the planet have perished.

Now, it's gonna take all the bravery and courage

of the women of Vanisia to get over this stunning conflict.

And I know that our men were lazy

and they were horrible warriors

but they were all we had.

They're now gone.

We took them for granted,

which in turn is causing you ladies to climb the walls

in search of the male species.

Now, cheesy shops have sprung up offering male substitutes

which are both immoral and unsatisfying.

So I'm hoping that none of you

plan on visiting these brothels.

(whirring music)

Understand me? Good.

Now is the time to bring the men back to Vanisia

either by force or by their own will, their choice.

- Queen Ziba, where shall we find such specimens?

- Here we have the men from the planet Bootslack.

The average height of these men is 3'8".

- [Woman] Sounds good to me.

- Me too.

(women laughing)

- Well, that's not the worst of it.

Their ears are so huge that they must carry them

in an unsatisfactory position.

- What does that mean?

- Well, what I'm trying to say

is that they have to tie their ears around their waist,

which makes it impossible to get

to what we need most. (bell tinkling)

(women chattering)

So we will move on to the men from the planet Marmaluke,

out of here at the outer quadrant.

And these men are extremely brilliant.

They are the perfect breeding height,

and just lovely to be around.

- Great. (women chattering)

- Problem is is that they eat their food

by slurping it through their noses.

- [Women] Ew!

- Big deal. My ex-husband ate like that all the time.

(women laughing) - Silence.

Are there any other possibilities?

- Yes, there is one other possibility.

Planet Earth.

(electronics beeping) (women chattering)

(eerie music)

(funky music)

- [Wendy] Keep your eyes on the road.

- I was just thinking about Steve.

That girl is perfect for him.

Definitely his type.

- (scoffs) Steve can find his own tramps.

Doesn't need your help.

Besides what do you care what Steve wants?

You've got me.

Keep your eyes on the road!

- Thank you.

(eerie music)

- Are you ready for the competition tomorrow?

- I don't know, Rayan.

I, I don't think so.

- Kat, you have to.

You're one of our top notch scientists.

- But Rayan, I don't really feel like going.

- Oh, come on.

Our planet needs you.

- (tsks and sighs) For you, I'll try.

- (giggles) Thank you.

This is gonna be so much fun.

I'll see you tomorrow.

- Okay. Bye.

(sighs) What did I get myself into?

- As you know, I must choose (tense music)

three girls for the mission

and it is most important that I choose the smartest,

the strongest, and the most sensuous.

This is most important as we plan on bagging

the male species and bringing our planet

to complete order once again.

So good luck, girls, and don't forget

to bring your arousals to new heights.

Galexina, let the games begin.

You should all be proud of yourselves, girls.

Good luck.

- I'm glad you're moving. (glasses clinking)

(birds chirping) (chuckles) Now, I don't

have to drive so far.

(light jazzy music)

- Soon, I hope.

Are you willing to help me out financially with the move?

- Not really.

But I will buy you a newspaper so you can look.

Hell, Wendy, you can use some of my furniture if you want.

- Baron, we've been dating for almost a year now

and you profess you wanna be with me.

Well, it's difficult for a female in LA, you know.

I've got my son to think about and the house.

- You're into real estate. You're gonna make great money.

Beverly Hills?

Listen, next week, I'll make a couple of calls

and get you some great leads.

What do you think?

- I need help now?

(Wendy huffs)

- So how's everything else been?

- It's been hell.

(sighs) Look, Baron, I wanna know

just where I stand with you in this relationship.

You always have a way of ignoring my emotional needs.

Right now I need you.

- Really?

I've been thinking about this for quite some time now,

and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.

So let's make this official.

(Wendy screams)

- Oh. (Baron chuckles)

Thank you.

- Here you go, sweetie.

- It's not from Cartier, is it?

- Huh?

- It's pretty.

- Thanks.

- Julie?

(Baron stammers)

Who's Julie.

- I don't even know a Julie.

- You didn't even buy this for me, did you?

- Yes, I did. - Tell me the truth.

- No, I bought it for you.

I don't even know a Julie. (Wendy sighs)

- You know what? (jazzy music)

- What? What, that's, that's your ring.

- Go to hell, you phony.

- Wendy.

Great. - Don't ever call me again.

Ever! - You gotta be kidding me.

(owl hooting) (insects chirping)

(Steve sighs)

(owl hooting)

Yeah, Steve it's me.

Listen, can you call me, buddy?

I got bad news.

Wendy left me.

You were right. I shoulda never given her that used ring.

That was really stupid.

Anyway, I'm bummed so call me, will you?

(owl hooting)

Yeah, Linda, hi.

Baron, Baron Von Benson.

Oh yeah, been a long time. How are ya?


Oh, listen, I gotta go.

I just wanted to, um...

Yeah, I gotta go.

Damn it.

Oh hi, Jackie. This is Baron Von Benson.

Ah, can you give me a call back

at 310-555-6213?


Hello, Kitty.

Hi, this is Baron Von Benson.

(owl hooting)



No. Ugly.

She's married.

Hello, Susan.

Hello, Judy?

Yeah, is Joanne there? Ick!

So when do you take back off to school?


Twins! Well, congratulations.

What were you doing at the track if you're engaged?


Yeah, I was just calling to say hello,

but listen, I gotta go, gotta go.

Damn it!

(Baron sighs) (phone ringing)

Uh, you have the wrong number,

but what do you look like?

- Do you think Mr. Von Benson

will ever stop his playboy ways?

- Well, dear, we've been with him for over 15 years.

I don't think he'll ever grow up.

- You'd think at his age,

he wouldn't be so ridiculous about women.

After all, he isn't getting any younger.

But he insists on dating these girls half his age.

You know, it's going to take something out of this world

to make him a happy man.

(eerie music) - And now,

for our final competition, intelligence.

We must be able to outsmart any man.

- Get mentally prepared, ladies.

- Question, if a man asks you to help him solve a problem,

what is your answer?


(whirring music)

- I would be of service and solve the problem myself.

- [Galexina] Katanna, what is your answer?

- I would pretend like I didn't know the answer

and have my male counterpart solve the problem

any way he wishes.

And then I would praise him

and tell him how wonderful he is.

- [Woman] Great answer! (women cheer and applaud)

(lively salsa music) (phone ringing)

- (panting) Hello?

- Hey, Baron, it's Steve.

(Baron panting) What are you doing?

- Oh, was just finishing my sit-ups.

Yeah. Listen, I called everybody I know.

I hope somebody's got a good lead,

but so far, no dice.

How 'bout you, you got any ideas?

- Yeah. Why don't you throw one of your famous art parties.

That always brings the chicks in.

Just get all your guy friends

to invite their best-looking chick friends

and you're bound to find something.

- That's a great idea.

Then everybody will have dates

and be happy for the next two or three months.

You're brilliant!

All right, I gotta get going. I gotta get started on this.

I'll talk to you later.

- Yeah.

(ship hissing) (tense electronic music)

- Okay, princesses, go to sleep

and we will continue (cat meowing)

the story tomorrow.

- No, Mother, don't stop.

I want to know what happens next.

- Okay.

I will tell you a little more.

Katanna was sent on a special mission

to save the planet's race.

- Rayan, Silica, and Katanna (eerie music)

are the highest in their categories

and have been chosen for the mission.

Our spiritual blessings are with you

and our destiny is in your hands.

Now be on your way.

And remember...

- [Women] Population pollination.

(eerie music)

(light jazzy music)

- [Trevor] Nice shot.

- Yeah, I'm coming into work on Monday,

make sure everything's running properly.

- Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Listen, everything's in perfect working order down there.

I, I don't want you to be disappointed, Dad.

- You don't disappoint me. You're my son.

And it's my job to guide you through life

with my best ability.

- Thanks, Dad.

Hey, I heard about you and Wendy.

What happened with her anyway?

- That's her loss.

Listen, speaking about women,

my best friend is a plastic surgeon

and I can get that ugly bump

off your girlfriend's nose done at cost.

What do you think? - Dad, you can't just

go up to someone and say, hey, you need a nose job.

- Why not?

- Because. Nice shot.

- Yeah, you're probably right.

Listen, a few words of advice.

One, you gotta have money. That brings power.

Two, you need a huge estate, what gives you protection.

And three, nice wheels, that gives you class and style.

One, two, and three

will always give you four, beautiful women.

Don't forget that, son.

- I won't, Dad.

What do you really look for in a woman?

- Well, I'm pretty picky.

I want a woman who's self-sufficient,

but not too self-sufficient.

I don't want her to think she can live without me.

And I want her to be of childbearing age,

but can live without those little rats. (laughing)

If you get my drift.

- Listen. Listen.

I know you, and I know you always need to have a girlfriend.

So what are you gonna do?

- That reminds me, Trev.

Can you get me some new hip music,

whatever's popular nowadays?

- Yeah, sure. Why?

- I'm throwing a fabulous party on the 15th.

There's gonna be a ton of women there.

So I need some new tunes.

- Yeah, no problem.

Hey, I'll even DJ it for you if you want.

- You will?

- Sure.

- You're a good kid.

- Thanks. You're a great dad.

- Let's go pick 'em up.

(horns honking)

(light rhythmic music)

Hi. (clears throat)

- Hi.

(Baron sighs)

(horse whinnying)

- So you're into horses, huh?

- Oh yeah. (horse snorting)

I love horses.

- Say, you know anything about this place?

- It's great.

- Really?

- Yeah. One of my buddies met a girl here.

He's living with her now.

- He's living with her? - Yeah.

- Mr. Von Benson.

- That's me.


- Kerry will see you now.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

- Hello, Mr. Von Benson. How nice to meet you.

Why don't you take a seat and make yourself comfortable?

We'll go over your applications.

Okay. Says here you're 46.

- Yes. - Oh, you're an artist.


You want more children

and you're extremely interested

in finding a woman to marry.

Why don't you go through book, Mr. Von Benson

and see if there's anybody in there

that you might find suitable.

- [Baron] Okay.

- Says here that the qualities you're looking for

are someone down-to-earth, under 30,

slender build, preferably blonde, and adventurous.

- That one is fine.

And this one.

And that one.


(clicks tongue) Look, I'm having a party at my home

and it'd sure be nice if you send a couple of chicks,

girls over to my house so I could get to meet 'em

like on a casual basis.

- And what kind of party is it?

- Art. An art party.

- Oh. Oh, that sounds nice.

I'm sure we can accommodate you.

And you're more than welcome to come to.

Thank you, but I am married.

Thank you. - You're welcome.

- I think the most important thing is that we find you

the right woman.

So I have all your details and I will be in touch.

- Thank you for your time.

- You're welcome.

- Thank you for calling Beautiful People.


- Do they have girls that look like you in there?

- Um, sure, yeah, they do. (phone ringing)

- Great.

- Hello. Thank you for calling Beautiful People.

How may I help you?

(air whooshing)

You know, Steve, (light jazzy music)

I really miss Wendy.

- Don't worry, buddy.

You'll get a new girl to replace Wendy,

just like that. (finger snapping)

- You know, she was my perfect idea

of what I had in a woman.

You know, one day, she exercised my libido

for three straight hours. (Steve hisses)

I swear to God.

- Oh.

- Oh, she was awesome.

- Yeah, but you were her toy. Don't you see that?

Look, it was your own fault.

You should not be getting involved

with somebody who's still married, by the way.

I always make that my number one rule.

- You know, she was gonna get a divorce

and she was gonna marry me.

- Now wait just a minute. Timeout.

She had no intention of marrying you.

She thought you were a cheapskate.

You proved that last night, by the way.

Besides, you don't really wanna get married anyway.

- Yeah, you're probably right.

- You didn't see this coming?

Because everybody else sure did.

She could not stop complaining

about the chintz you were.


How 'bout the time he gave her

that zirconia necklace on Valentine's Day.

Oh, God! Talk about stupid. (Baron laughing)

Ah, but don't worry about it.

Come on, let's find some new chicks.


Say, that's a you girl all the way.

(Baron whistles) Oh my God.

That's definitely a you girl. (Baron whistles)

- I can't even whistle anymore.

- Can you pull this car over?

Attack, buddy, attack.

- Boy, this is like the snatch capital of the world.

- [Steve] Snatch-a-rama.

- Hi, can I help you?

- Hello. I'm Baron Von Benson.

I'm having a little party. (light jazzy music)

I invited the whole staff.

You're all invited by the way.

And I need to do some redecorating.

Do you have any experience in that?

- Actually I do.

I would be more than happy to help you with suggestions.

Um, why don't we take a look at some of my books here.

(Baron warbling)

And you tell me what type of feel, feel,

that you're looking for. (spring springing)

I mean, I mean,

what type of style (woman screams)

are you primarily interested in?

- Uh, style? (jazzy music)

Gee, I don't know, style.

I got a great idea.

Why don't you come over to my Beverly Hills mansion

and take a look-see

and then we'll go from there?

- Oh, I would really like to

except store policy prohibits us from doing sales

outside of the store.

So I'm afraid that it's impossible for me-

- How 'bout I hire you freelance?

Can buy everything right here in the store.

Get a big commission.

Think it'd be a great opportunity for us.

I mean me. I mean you.

(woman chuckles) What do you think?

- Wow, that sounds like a great idea.

Just let me run it by my husband first, of course.

- (chuckles) Oh, of course. (woman chuckling)


- Yes. - You're married?

- Oh yes.

- I didn't see a ring.

- Oh, I never wear it to work.

It's so big and it sometimes gets in the way. (chuckles)

- Oh yeah, I bet.

Uh, never mind.

- Sir?


- I really don't think this is such a good idea after all.

Thanks for your help.

- What?

- [Baron] Come on, Steve.

(women laughing)

- Well, what happened?

- She was married.

- So, that never stopped you before.

(women laughing)

- I told you to watch out for that pervert.

He tries to pick up on all the new girls.

- Oh, honey, he goes around all the stores in Beverly Hills.

Wait, let me guess.

Did he give you that (clears throat)

I'm looking for someone to marry routine?

(women laughing)

- Well, actually he asked me to come over

and redecorate his mansion.

(women laughing)

- Well, that's the scenario he always uses,

but everyone around here knows

not to even give him the time of day.

- Well, I did tell him I was married.

So- - Oh.

That's why he ran out of here

with his tail between his legs.

- [Woman In Red Dress] Exactly why. (laughing)

- I get it.

- [Woman In Red Dress] Oh well.

(electronics beeping)

- Queen Ziba, request permission to take off.

- [Queen Ziba] Permission granted. Good luck, girls.

Population pollination.

- Population pollination, out.

- Check her out, Steve. (lighthearted horns music)

- Oh my God, she is awesome.

(horn honking)

We've gotta follow her.

- No, I'm not letting her get away either.

That one was fine.

Woo hoo! (slow jazzy music)

We've gotta go in there.

- Let's go in and invite her to your party.

- [Baron] Fabulous idea.

- Yeah.

- That way she could see the mansion.

Chicks dig that.

- Right on.

- I'll make sure she sees the car.

- Come here, baby. - Ooh.

- Oh. - Yeah.


(doorbell ringing)

- No. - Oh.

- Customers. All right? (Elaine groans)

Come on.

(Elaine sighs)

Baby, you look great.

Uh, I love her.

All right.

Time for the charm.


- Oh, hello.

(Jed speaking in foreign language)

- Ooh. - Ah.

Are you guys okay? (light rhythmic music)

(chuckles) Can I help you gentlemen?

- [Baron] Uh...

Oh, hi.

I'm Baron Von Benson.

Oh, and this is my best friend Steve.

(Elaine giggles)

- Hi.

- Oh, oh, oh.

Um, is Jim and Yvonne here?

- I'm sorry, no, they're not right now.

But is there something I can help you with?

- Yes, I'm having a party on the 15th

and I'd love for them to come.

I have an invitation right here for them.

Right over here I have an invitation.


And look, there are two invitations.

One for you too.

- Oh. Well, I'll have to check my calendar.


I'll make sure they get these.

Darling, how are the little ones?

- They are wonderful.

- Oh, great.

Well, we have a great new shipment in

and I think you're gonna love every single item

I have to show you.

- [Baron] Ah! Ooh!

- Thank you, Jed

Call me when you can.

(lively rhythmic music)

- Ciao, bella.

(eerie music)

- Now, remember girls, (electronics beeping)

everyone's counting on us to find male specimens.

Is everything in check?

- 10-4.

- Ready for takeoff, Captain.

- [Katanna] Okay, girls vapor lock on?

- That's a go.

Vapor lock on.

- [Katanna] Engines on?

- Engines on.

We got fire.

- Prepare for liftoff.

- Roger that, Captain.

(eerie music) - Hang on, girls.

Here we go.

(engine whirring) (electronics beeping)

(signal screeching)

(light jazzy music)

- Hoo!

- Oh God, you scared me.

- Hi, baby.

- Hi, baby.

- Do you know who that guy is out there?

Do you know who Baron Von Benson is?

- Just another sleaze bucket

who's trying to get his grubby paws on me.

- No.

Well, yeah, but he just happens to be

the wealthiest American artist in the world.

He made a bundle in real estate,

now he paints.

Point being, he's worth millions.

Can you say that? Millions.

- That loser?

- Yup. - Worth millions?

- Yup, and you could have him wrapped

around you a little pinky.

He's got a lotta great contacts too, baby.

Don't pass this one up.

- Hm. Now, that changes everything.

Baron Von Benson, here I come. (laughing)

Oh. (laughing)

- The computer will scan (electronics beeping)

for the nearest male.

Until then we will sit back and wait.

- Oh, how I long for a good man.

- I wonder what it will be like

when we integrate males back into our society again.

- Are you kidding?

It's gonna be fantastic.

Just think about it, men all the time, any time.

Mm. (mimics purring)

I just quiver when I think about it.

Oh, we have to find the proper men of course.

- Of course.

- I can't wait.

(women giggling)

(Silica sighing)

(phone ringing)

(light xylophone music)

- This is Girlfriends of Beverly Hills.

This is Jed. Can I help you?

Mr. Von Benson.

Yes. Yes, how are you, sir?

Yes, sir.

Yes, yes.

Uh, no, no, no, no, she doesn't work today.

I'm writing it down as we speak.

Yes. No.

I'll let her know. I'll let her know.

How did I know?

She's at lunch.

I'll give her the message.

I'll give her the message.

I've given her all your messages.

You just missed her. She just stepped out.

I'll let her know.

Thank you, sir. Thank you.

Thank you, sir. Thank you.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Good day.

(Jed sighs)

- Mm, looks like a live one.

Any messages?

- Guess.

That moron's been calling all day.

- Oh. You know what?

Hold that thought.

I'm going in.

Can I help you?

(gasps) What a lovely tie.

(calculator clacking)

Okay, your total is $12,582.

How would you like to pay for that?

Here's my credit card.

Can you have those shipped- - Great

- to my house?

- Sure. No problem.

I will have it sent out this afternoon.

- Say, since we're getting along so well,

how 'bout having dinner with me next Wednesday?

- Fantastic.

- Perfect.

I'll see you then.

- Have a nice day.

Uh, so glad I don't have to work Wednesdays.

- Hey, Baron. (light upbeat rhythmic music)

This is some party you got here.

Thanks so much for inviting me.

This is Trixie.

And this little cutie's her twin sister Dixie.

- [Men] Trixie and Dixie, oh. (women giggling)

- They work for the airlines.

They're based out of Honolulu.

- Well, thank you for flying the friendly skies.

(men laughing)

- We've heard so much about you.

- Really? - We sure have.

What a beautiful home you have.

- Why, thank you.

Would you like to see more?

- [Women] Could we?

- Earl, show these girls, ladies,

the rest of my mansion.

- Would be my pleasure.

Ladies, right this way.

Let me show you around.

Aren't they peaches?

If I can fix either of you up, you let me know, okay?

(camera clicking) (lively music continues)

- [Baron] Isn't she a little old for you?

- Very funny.

(Baron laughing)

- Look at this place.

We got enough girls for the next three months.

Plus I got 'em to sign in.

Guess what else.

- What?

- I'm taping 'em.

- That's a great idea!

Oh my God.

Hey, where's Elaine.

- Ah, she didn't show up yet.

- Oh, who cares.

Look at what you have done here, you sly fox you.

Look at all the beautiful young things here.

You know, I really love your motto

that women are finished over 35.

- [Baron] Yeah, words I live by.

(eerie music)

(electronics beeping)

- I hope we find some cute specimens.

- I want a powerful, handsome one.

Mm, (gasps)

- A sensitive, loving species would do it for me.

- [Steve] Hey, hey, man.

- [Baron] How 'bout that party?

- Oh, such a great party. God. (light rock music)

- [Baron] Find anybody that you really liked?

- Yeah, I kinda liked those little twins.

What was their name again?

- [Baron] What, Dixie and Trixie?

- Dixie and Trixie.

God they were cute.

- [Baron] Yeah, they were cute.

Listen I've put marks on all the people

who are qualified to date us.

- Cool.

- [Baron] But I really think we need

to hit some more spots, you know.

We gotta get, we gotta increase our option.

What do you think?

- You're right.

It's a great idea.

I'll pick you up in 15 minutes.

(upbeat music) We're on fire.

I don't know why we need to go to a library anyway.

- All the action's out here.

Plus you can't really hit on 'em in a library

because you gotta be quiet.

- Good point.

You know, these girls are smart.

They don't go to school for nothing.

- Yeah, you're right.

And if they're smart enough for a good education,

then they won't be relying on us to support 'em.

- No more free handouts.

- No more, "I need this"-

- [Both] "I need that."

- I love a woman who's independent.

- Hey, I just thought of something.

- What?

- If these girls are smart enough to get an education,

do you think they'll be too smart for us?

- Hm.

It's a good point.

- Whoa, check her out!

I'll see you in 15 minutes.

(Baron chuckles)

Excuse me, miss, uh-

- [Woman] Yes?

- What a lovely folder you have.

- Thank you.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- What's your name?

- Suzy.

- Where'd you get it?

- It's from my boyfriend.

(woman laughing)

- Your what?

Your boyfriend?

- You're old enough to be my father.

- Forget it.

- Go pick on somebody your own age, gramps.

- [Steve] How did it go?

- Don't even ask.

Let's go to the beach.

- Let's go.

(upbeat music)

- Straight.


Now, this is the place to be.

Hey, is this your dog? (dog growling)

- [Woman] Yep. - Oh!

So how 'bout dinner tonight?

- Oh no, I don't think so. I'm sorry.

- Keep the faith, okay, keep the faith.

(birds squawking)

(eerie music)

(electronics beeping) - We will be traveling

through the Milky Way galaxy

and then the Anton galaxy.

- Maybe we can find some male specimens there.

- I hope so.

- Let's get back to our posts, girls.

- [Steve] Ready for lunch?

- Yeah, I am. Hungry as a bear. (chuckles)

- Right this way. Hey, man. (lively rock music)

Grab a seat.

Hey hon, the special- - Hi.

- drink recipe I told you about.

- Here. - Let's get the Baron

his usual drink.

- Okay.

- So what do you think?

Just hired her yesterday.

- She's fine.

- I love those little spinners.

(mimics slapping)

(both laughing)

- Your favorite kind, little spinner.

- [Steve] He's speaking of which,

what about the love of your life?

- I musta called it 50 times

and she's never returned any of my calls.

To top it off,

you know, she never did show up at the party either.

- I can't believe you put up with that crap.

If I were you, I'd call her up right now

and give her a piece of your mind.

- You're absolutely right.

Give her a little piece of my mind.

♪ I've got a feeling

(Baron clears throat) ♪ Understand when I say

♪ I've got a feeling

Hello, Elaine?

Hi, it's Baron.

I was wondering what happened to you the other tonight.

You missed a great party.

♪ Want me to say


You lost the invitation.

Mm-hm. That's understandable. That could happen to anyone.

Look, I was wondering maybe if you'd like

to meet after work for a drink.

You would? I mean great.


All right. I'll pick you up around 7:00?

See you then.

All right, buh-bye.

Oh! Touch me.

(hisses) I'm hot.

- Oh, you sure are. - I am so hot.

- Moonglow, my favorite color? (electronics beeping)

(gentle Japanese music)

- Just this way, come with me.

This is the best booth in the house, ladies and gentlemen.

This is the romance corner.

- Thanks, buddy.

- You got it, man.

- Right this way.


(Baron groans)

- [Steve] Would you care for some sake?

- Do you like sake?

- Sure.

So how you doing?

- (sighs) I've had a rough few days.

- Sake.

One for Elaine

and one for Baron.

- [Baron] Thank you.

- Thank you. - [Steve] Enjoy.

- So like I was saying,

it's been really difficult at work lately

and I've had very few sales.

Plus I need to find a new place to live.

I'm staying with my sister and her husband right now.

But I have to move.

- Well, that's too bad.

- I don't think I'm gonna be able to see you anymore.

There's so many sharks.

So many men are out to take advantage of me.

And I just need to get out of this place.

- Why would you wanna leave a place like Beverly Hills?

It's a great place to live.

- Well, I'm losing my place for one.

And I don't have anybody to help me.

Plus, I'm broke. (crying)

- Oh, oh, oh, oh, you poor thing, you poor thing.

I got an idea.

Why don't you move in with me for a little while?

Just to get back on your feet.

- And I need a car.

Listen, could you order us something really cold to drink,

like some Cristal?

I'm feeling so parched.

I've had a very long, long day.

- Steve, some Cristal.

So (sighs) you wanna come by,

see the new place tomorrow?

- I'd love to.

- Here's to my new roommate.

- And here's to my new generous boyfriend.

(eerie music)

- I think we have a problem. (electronics beeping)

- Check the speed reactor.

- It's not working.

- Check the override button.

- The override speed reactor isn't working properly.

- Great.

(light upbeat guitar music)

(slide whistle whistling)

- [Elaine] Oh yes, what a beautiful home.

- Thank you.

Just take for you.

Just think, can wake up to this every morning.

- Oh, yes.


- How would you like to be the contessa of my home?

- Well, if I were the contessa of your home,

would you buy me designer clothing

and shower me with expensive jewelry?

- Well, no.

But I have a friend that's a jeweler

and I sometimes barter my artwork with him

so I'm sure I can work something out in that department.

But until then, you stay here,

I'll provide you with food and lodging.

You can work, save your money,

and buy whatever else you might need.

- (scoffs) Thanks.

I'll think about it.

Let's see the rest of the house, shall we?

- Certainly.

(phone ringing)

Hey, Higgins, would you get that for me?

(eerie music)

- Oh.

(radio waves warbling)

Oh my God!

(alarm whirring) - Uh oh.

Red alert.

Repeat, red alert!

We're going down.

- We've got a red alert. (radio waves warbling)

I repeat, we've got a red alert!

(alarm blaring)

- Set controls for the nearest inhabitable planet.

- Do we have any other option?

- Everyone, prepare to land.

- This is incredible! (radio waves warbling)

Interior unknown.

Vibrations, 36, 36 billion?

Spiral fluctuations unknown?

- [Technician] So look at this.

These fluctuations are off the chart.

- Gentlemen, we got ourselves a UFO.

That means intelligent life from another galaxy.

It's definitely the find of the century.

Check this data. I don't wanna lose it.

(eerie music)

- So how does Saturday night sound?

My little hot mama. (light jazzy piano music)

- Ah, I'd love to, Baron,

but I have to do something about my financial situation.

Don't forget, it was your idea.

You promised.

And I'm relying on you.

(alarm blaring) - Put your lunar fly belts on!

Brace yourselves.

- So, when can I move in? (light jazzy music)

(eerie music)

(alarm blaring)

(loud rattling)

(tense music)

- What was that?

- I don't know. I gotta go.

I'll call you later.

(Elaine scoffs)

Higgins, you hear that?

(alarm blaring) - Oh, oh.

- Oh.

Oh, where do you think we are?

- I don't know.

- Rayan, put your male membrane scanner on.

Silica, get your weapon.

- Yes, Commander.

- Let's go see what's out there.

- How are those numbers? (radio waves warbling)

- It went down somewhere in Beverly Hills Westwood area.

- Then what are we waiting for? Let's go.

George, go get the car.

Let's go. Come on, let's go.

(eerie music)

- Where do you think we are?

- Hey look.

We must be on planet Bootslack.

- Get the male membrane scanner ready.

- [Silica] Yes, Commander.

♪ Uh uh oh oh uh uh oh

♪ Uh uh oh oh oh

♪ Uh ee ee oh oh ah

- Girls. Girls.

- He's off the charts.

I've never seen (vocalized ethereal music)

anything like this before.

- Evidently looks are deceiving.

- I'm in heaven.

- Let's get a closer look.

- [Silica] Roger that.

(gun whirring)

- [Gardener] Ee.

(gardener speaking in Spanish)

Aye. Aye oh.

- Let's go.

- [Gardener] Help, help.

Oh, oh. - What's going on out here?

What is this, a freak show, you little pervert?

That's it, you're fired.

Get the hell outta here. - Never coming back again!

- Good.

You can't be a loitering around my backyard.

This is private property.

If I have to,

I'll call the police. (rays whirring)

- [Silica] Male, what planet are we on?

- [Baron] You're on Earth.

- [Rayan] Oh no, not Earthmen.

- [Silica] We are way off course.

This is the most primitive planet of the universe.

- [Baron] What's happening?

- [Rayan] But it does have a very large population

and almost half of them are men.

- [Silica] But they are so emotionally inferior.

- What are you talking about? (ethereal orchestral music)

I realize us men aren't perfect earthlings,

but I resent those comments.

I'm a very intellectual man and I'm a gentlemen.

Let me introduce myself.

My name is Baron Von Benson

and this is my home.

- Hello, Baron.

My name is Katanna and this is Silica and Rayan.

- Hi.

- Can you help us?

- Sure. What can I do for you?

- Do you have any informational channel waves

that we may use?

- I don't know.

What are informational channel waves?

- Of course.

Earthlings are probably even too primitive

for that sort of information.

Do you have any computers or books

that we can study while we're here to learn about Earth?

- Sure. I got books, computers, a fax machine.

I even have a television with every channel selection.

Make yourself at home. (lively music)

Come on in.

- We have a special news bulletin. This just in.

We have spotted what is believed to be a UFO spacecraft.

It is extremely urgent that this vessel be located.

It is believed that the craft has landed

in the Beverly Hills or Santa Monica area.

All residents are encouraged to report any strange activity

to your local police stations.

We now return you

back to your regularly scheduled programming.

- Great. - How did they

know we've landed?

- The anti-detector force field must have deactivated

during our emergency landing.

- We will all be in serious trouble

if they find us here.

- [Rayan And Silica] What should we do?

- We must continue our mission.

As soon as the spaceship is repaired,

we will be on our way.

Baron, may we seek refuge here?

- I don't see why not.

I mean, it's the only choice we have now.

I have some guestrooms down at the end of the hall.

Mary will make you feel more comfortable.

- Thanks.

(gentle harp music)

Elaine, what are you drunk? - [Elaine] No!

Why haven't you called?

- I know I didn't call you back.

Look, something came up.

- [Elaine] Where have you been?

- Listen, um, (clears throat)

I'm not gonna be able to let you stay here after all.

- [Elaine] What?

You promised!

What's the matter with you? - I realize I promised.

- [Elaine] You better believe it!

- I had some guests come in unexpectedly and-

- [Elaine] That's not good enough!

- I'm sorry. - Not what you said today!

- I know. I know I promised.

- [Elaine] Better not speak-

- Please don't scream.

- [Elaine] I'm gonna scream. - Don't be mad.

- [Elaine] I'm gonna be mad!

- Listen, I'll call you later.

Wow. - Don't you hang up!

(tense jazzy music)


I got a problem.

Elaine is a royal pain in the ass.

That's not half of it

and you're not gonna believe this.

Three space girls have landed in my backyard.

- What? - No, I'm not kidding.

I swear to God.

And they're beautiful.

And they can read your mind.

- And what else can they do?

- I don't know what else they can do.

Look, my problem is

I don't know what to do with them.

- Okay, first of all, don't tell a soul.

It could mean big trouble.

- No kidding.

- Okay, um, okay look.

I'll be over first thing in the morning

and we'll figure this thing out.

Don't panic, man.

Everything's gonna be okay.

- Okay, I need you.

- Three space girls?

(gentle guitar music) (birds chirping)

- Oh, good morning, girls.

- [Women] Morning.

- Have a seat.

Mary's made her fabulous Belgium waffles.

I think you're gonna love 'em.

- Where we're from, we stopped ingesting food eons ago.

- Yeah. - We take pills

for our sustenance.

- Oh, suit yourself.

But boy, you're missing out.

(lively rhythmic music)

(gentle music) (birds chirping)

- I don't wanna miss out on anything.

- [Rayan] Me neither. (chuckles)

- [Rayan And Silica] Mm.

(lively rhythmic music)

- Ow!

- [Rayan And Silica] Mm.

Mm, don't even think about it. (Rayan giggles)

- [Silica] Mm - Delicious.

- [Silica] Mm.

(lively rock music) - [Women] Mm.

- [Rayan] (giggles) Hey! That's mine.

(women giggling)

- [Rayan] It's messing up my hair.

(lively rhythmic music)

(lively rock music) (women laughing and squealing)

- Ah.

(women laughing)

More pie, sir?

- Absolutely.

(women laughing)

Why, thank you, Higgins.

- [Steve] No wonder no one answered the door.

What the heck's going on here?

- Oh, just having a little breakfast.

- Looks like breakfast is having you.

(women laughing)

(lively rhythmic music)

- My name is Professor Pinprick.

I am looking for a flying saucer

that crashed somewhere around here.

I was wondering if you've seen...

(Prof. Pinprick gasps)

- Go, girls. - Steve, I need to talk

to you.

- My pleasure, sir. - Okay.

- Baron, what is the...

You wanna explain what's going on?

- (sighs) What do you think?

Did I tell ya?

- Wow. You're right.

They are hot.

Yeah, but are you sure that they're the same

as normal human.

- Steve!

I'm not really concerned about their body parts.

The problem is what am I gonna do with them?

- Look, I haven't seen you have this much fun since...

(fingers snapping) What's her name?

Oh, come on. Don't be such a fuddy-duddy.

Just think of all the possibilities

of a, (inhales deeply)

oh, of off an all-girl planet.

- What am I gonna tell the neighbors?

- Look, if anybody asks you,

they're from another country

like Nova Scotia.

- Look, I'm serious.

I don't even want any undue attention around here.

I'm a very private person and I wanna keep it that way.

- Okay.

You're right.

Your best solution is to keep them under wraps

until they can split.

(Baron scoffs)

We've gotta make 'em blend in somehow.

You've gotta get 'em out of those outfits.

(lively rock music)

(siren blaring) (dynamic music)

Oh no.

What should I do?

- Just remain calm.

Everything's gonna be all right.

- [Rayan] What's wrong?

- Oh, this cop wants to give us a ticket.

I can't get another ticket or I'll lose my license.

Not to mention the fact that I'm harboring

illegal space aliens.

- You are.

- Hello, officer.

- (groans) Driver's license, registration,

and proof of insurance please.

- Yes, sir.

What did I, what did I do wrong?

- Speeding.

- Was I?

Oh no. I'm so sorry.

You see I'm in a bit of a hurry.

It's my nephew's birthday today.

And I sorta promised him

and have the girls there to, uh,

you know, uh, perform.

- (chuckles) That's nice.

Just how old is this lucky nephew?

- He's, uh, 10.

- That's nice. Mm-hm.

Well, that's no excuse to speed!

Especially on my beat!

Looks like I'm gonna have to write you up. (laughing)

- [Katanna] Oh, officer.

- Yep?

- Oh, officer.

- Uh huh?

- I think you are

very, very hungry. (tinkling music)

(lively rock music continues)

- I feel very hungry.

- You must eat now! (tinkling music)

- I think I must eat now.

Hm. Hm. (laughing)

You all can go.

You don't have any catsup or anything

you have in there, see?

- [Steve] No, I don't think so.

Have a nice day.

- Hey, that's fine. Have a nice day.


All have a nice day.

(laughing) Best damn ticket I ever had.

(bluesy music) - [Elaine] Well, hello, Baron.

- Hello. Elaine, how are you?

- Great. And how are you?

- Oh, I'm, I'm fine.

- What a lovely tie you have on.

- Oh, why, thank you.

- So, who are they? (women laughing)

- [Baron] Oh, oh, those girls?

Friends of mine.

- [Elaine] What's with the strange clothing?

- Well, that's the new in thing where they're from.

- Oh. Where are they from? (women laughing)

- Uh, uh, uh, Nova Scotia.

- Oh. I thought I would just bring 'em in here,

you know, to get some Beverly Hills attire

and plus you're gonna get a good commission.

- Well, gee, thank you.

Um, let me know if you need anything, okay?

- Sure.

- Thank you.

Elaine, have you gotten anywhere

with that wealthy tycoon yet?

(Elaine moans) Everybody in town

knows he's after you so what's the problem?

- We went out.

He was all over me like a cheap suit.

Especially when I told him I was moving to San Francisco.

- Look, you know and I know that this guy

would love to get in your panties.

So what's the problem?

- (groans) He repulses me.

But boy, do I love his money.

If only he didn't have a bad reputation

for being such a cheapskate.

- Cheapskate?

He doesn't look

like a cheapskate to me. - You'd look good in that.

- I told you, work him.

- Well...

You're right.

Well, I'm not done yet.

I'll get something out of him.

You just watch.

- Well, you better do it soon

'cause those three friends of his

are cutting into our action.

- [Elaine] What is up

with those three friends of his anyway?

- [Jed] I don't know.

- [Elaine] Listen. - Steve, pick out something.

- I'm gonna go see if I can help them out with anything.

(lively rock music)

- [Steve And Baron] Wow!

(lively rock music continues)

- Finito.

- Outstanding.

You outdid yourself again.

Beautiful, girls.

You looked very beautiful. (light rock music)

♪ What is it about you

♪ I'm so drawn to

♪ 'Cause normally I'm not even like that ♪

♪ You're so good to me

♪ It's frightening really

♪ And now I know to myself

♪ Where does this passion come from ♪

♪ It's amazing that I

♪ Let my heart

♪ Feel so much for you

♪ I can't explain it

♪ I get crazy round you

♪ I feel so alive

(lively rock music continues)

♪ I feel alive

♪ Yeah, huh

♪ Alive

♪ Alive

♪ Alive

♪ Oh, alive

♪ Alive

♪ Alive

♪ Yeah, oh

(women laughing)

- I just love shopping. (laughing)

- Bravo. Bravo.

Where on earth, I mean, Vanisia,

did you learn how to sing like that?

- All the girls of Vanisia sing like this.

- Really?

- We have all kinds of specialties.

- I bet that's not all you can do.

- Now, now, Baron.

(all laughing)

- I'll have Higgins make us some dinner.


(spacecraft hissing) (eerie music)

- Earth?

Did Katanna find any males?

- Yes, that's right.

And Katanna found the male.

But he had made some very poor choices in females,

one in particular.

(tense suspenseful music)

- If that cheap old bastard thinks he's gonna screw me over,

then I'm gonna take him for everything he's got.

- Yeah. And I'm sure he's got tons of it.

- Oh yeah.

All that valuable artwork,

I'll never have to work another day of my life.

(chuckles) And if you play your cards right,

neither will you.

- Can live with that.

Did you bring the camera?

- (laughing) Did I bring the camera?

You stupid.

Come on, let's go. - Let's go.

(suspenseful music continues)

(Elaine gasps)

- Do you see what I'm seeing?

- Oh my God.

Make sure you're getting this.

- I'm getting everything.

(both panting)

- [Jed] Wow. (camera clicking)

- This is amazing.

This is just what we need.

- I sense others.

There. - Ooh!

I think they saw us.

Great. Let's get outta here.

Come on!

- Woo, that was close.

- Where's the camera?

- Jesus, I must've dropped it

when you yanked me away, you bean brain!

- Wow!

(Elaine panting)

You know those girls back there?

I bet they're the space aliens

that they're talking about on TV.

- (panting) We need to go to the police right away.

- Wait, whoa, whoa.

What are you talking about, the police?

- I don't want any funny business going on in my house.

Well, you know what I mean.

I want those foreign chicks out.

Let's go!

(light knocking)

- Hey Sarge, we got this wacko

out here talking (police radio chattering)

about some aliens or something.

Shall I send her in?

- Great. Send her in.

- Right.


- How do you do, ma'am.

I'm Officer Downs. Why don't you have a seat?

So what seems to be the problem?

- I'm here to make a report.

- Okay.

And your name is?

- Elaine Cashbender.

- Elaine...


- Not spender. It's bender, B, bu bu bu.


- Elaine Cash B Bender.

- [Elaine] Yes. - Okay, what seems

to be the problem.

- I know where the aliens are.

- The illegal immigrants?

- Not the illegal immigrants, you nimrod.

The space aliens!

I just came from Baron Von Benson's place

and there are some weird stuff going on up there.

I mean, objects were just floating around

and moving around all by themselves.

And we gotta hurry and do something.

- So let me get this straight.

You're saying that there were

some strange space creatures

at Baron Von Benson's place, is that right?

- That is exactly what I just said.

There is weird stuff going on up there

and stuff is just like floating around.

We need to do something about it.

- Okay. (chuckles)

Well, thank you very much for your valuable information.

We'll get on it right away.

- (scoffs) That's all you're gonna do?

That's all you're gonna do?

Well, aren't you gonna arrest him?

- Well, calm down, ma'am.

He hasn't exactly committed any crime, now has he?

- What are you talking about?

Try aiding and abetting illegal space creatures.

You are just so worthless

and you're wasting my time!

You Dunkin Donut doof.

(police radio chattering)

- Oh.

- (chuckles) What was that all about?

- Get me the Space Lab on the phone.

- Yes, sir.

(gentle classical music)

- And he says, "We had lunch together."

(all laughing)

A toast to my new, fabulous guests.

- Hear, hear.

Mm, Silica, it's such a pretty name.

It means glass, doesn't it?

- Yes.

On planet Vanisia, our ancestors are formed

from elements and minerals.

My ancestors came from the lava fields.

I am both liquid and solid.

- And Rayan?

- My ancestors came from electromagnetic fields.

My intentions translate into energy.

- Dare I ask, what does Katanna mean?

- Oh yes. Katanna means all.

She has the most special and beloved ancestry

of all the people on our planet.

She has the powers of all the minerals and elements.

- It was her ancestors that helped the tribes of our planet

recognize that we are one energy with a singular purpose.

- Among the citizens of Vanisia,

there are many that believe Katanna

will one day be our queen.

- Really?

- It is much too soon to be talking

about things of this nature.

- May I help you?

- Yes. My name is Professor Pinprick.

I'm here to see Mr. Baron Von Benson.

- Uh, one moment, please.

- [Prof. Pinprick] Mm-hm.

- There is a Professor Pinprick to see you, sir.

- Tell him I'm busy.

- Yes, sir.

- The nerve of people to interrupt

such a fine dining experience.

- I'm sorry, but Mr. Von Benson is extremely busy.

Perhaps you can come back another time.

- This is a very important matter.

I need to speak to him at once.

(tense music)

- [Higgins] One moment please.

Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen.

I'll have to ring your ear.

- I'm sorry to bother you, Mr. Von Benson.

My name is Professor Pinprick.

I work for the Space Intelligence Agency.

Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?

- Can't you see we're in the middle of dinner?

This had better be important.

- We have reason to believe

there's certain alien activity occurring here.

- (laughing) What? Aliens?

What, are you joking?

- Where did you get such a ludicrous information?

- We have a source.

- Well, it an unreliable source.

I'm an important respectable man in this community.

I do not appreciating (radio wave warbling)

people wasting my time with foolishness.

As you can see, I have guests.

So please excuse me.

- Do you mind if we look around?

- (sighs) Make it quick and then leave.

- Thank you, sir.

(hands clapping) Okay, boys.

(tense music continues)

(dice clattering)

- Uh oh, you lose.

- You know, if you really count this closely,

it's almost 1500-

- Yeah right. Go.

Listen, that's the end of that game.

On a serious note,

people are starting to get suspicious.

- You're right.

We must get the ship fixed immediately.

Silica, do you know what we need?

- We need to fix the bilateral compactor translator.

Baron, do you have access to a compressor?

- Would a food compressor do?

- Perfect. That'll do.

- I just happen to have one in my restaurant,

along with some other things that I can donate to the cause.

We could go tomorrow night.

In the meantime,

let's check out my house

for anything else you might need.

- That's so nice of you.

- Can I come too?

- Of course you can come too.

(women chuckling)

- What about Katanna?

- I'll stay here with Baron

and fix the microcompressor.

Remember, keep your communicators open at all times.

- Yes, Commander.

- Hey, Steverino.

You be a good boy.

- Yes, Commander.

(gentle harp music)

♪ And you don't know what it's like ♪

♪ To love a little alien

♪ Sweet, sweet alien

♪ The way I love you

♪ La la la la la la la

♪ And they don't know (gentle piano music)

- Hi.

- Hi.

- How long you been there?

- I heard you singing,

so I thought I'd come in. (shaving cream hissing)

What's that?

- I'm shaving.

- Oh.

- Don't you shave in Vanisia?

- (chuckles) No, we take pills every six months.

- Really?

Here on earth, us men earthlings,

we have to shave.

You know what?

I had this mustache since my sophomore year in Stanford.

I'm gonna shave this baby off.

- Shave that baby off! (chuckles)

- Shave this baby off! (laughing)

(gentle romantic music)

(tinkling music) (Baron puffs)

- Mm. (birds chirping)

(gentle piano music)


- (chuckles) Good morning.

- Morning.

- (sighs) Wow!

I've never, ever experienced anything like that.

- Neither have I.

- What do you mean?

- When I was very young,

all our men were killed off by war.

You're the first man I've ever been with.

- You were a virgin?

(laughing) Wow.

I feel like alive. I feel like a million bucks.

- You look like a million bucks. (chuckles)

- I do?

- [Katanna] Take a look at yourself.

- (chuckles) Where's my gray?

What's this all about?

- On our planet, when we make love-

- Yeah?

- They regenerate 10 to 15 years,

depending on how intense the love is.

- Well, I say we must be doing pretty good

'cause I look great! (laughing)

Ah, wait till I tell Steve.

(eerie music) (electronics beeping)

- Why did she choose Baron?

- Because he was a good male at heart

and living without male species

is just incomplete,

as our female planet discovered.

- [Older Princess] I wanna know what's happened. Come on.

(cat meowing)

- Okay.

I will tell you just a little more.

- [Princesses] Yay!

(sultry music)

(phone ringing)

- Telephone.

- Hello.

- [Baron] Hey, Steve.

How you doing?

- It's going great over here.

We're working extra hard.

- [Baron] Perfect.

Katanna and I will meet you at The Grill

at 9:00 tonight, okay?

- Okie dokie.

Gotta get back to work now.

See you tonight.

Oh eee, oh please don't touchy.

(blues rock music)

- (chuckles) Hi, guys.

- Wow. You look great.

- I feel great.

All because of this beautiful girl right here.

- Oh, by the way, girls, I got the scanner up.

- Great.

That means we'll be leaving soon.

- Mr. Patise, the singer up and quit.

I don't know what to do, sir.

- Are you kidding?

What am I gonna do now?

Everybody expects singing.

I've got Lady Elsa and her Grand Society Club here tonight.

- I'm sorry, sir.

I really don't know what to do.

- Steve, why not let the girls sing?

They have the most enchanting voices I have ever heard.

- Would you?

Please put your hands together

for the Vanisians.

(audience applauding)

(light rock music)

♪ What is it about you

♪ That I'm so drawn to

♪ 'Cause normally I'm not even like that ♪

♪ You make me laugh inside

♪ Make me laugh at life

♪ It's amazing

♪ That I let my heart

♪ Feel so much for you

♪ Can't explain it

♪ I get crazy round you

♪ I feel so alive

(lively rock music)

♪ I feel alive

♪ Yeah, ho

♪ Alive

♪ Alive

♪ Alive

♪ Alive

♪ Alive

♪ Alive

♪ Yeah, ho

(audience applauding and cheering)

- [Audience] Bravo, bravo.

- Lady Elsa. - Baron, how are you?

(lively rock music)

Mm, good to see you.

Hi, Steve.

- Thank you for coming.

- Oh, it's my pleasure.

Thanks for inviting me.

- Hope you enjoyed it.

Lady Elsa, this is Katanna.

- Hello. Pleased to meet you.

- This is Silica.

- Silica, how beautiful.

- And last but not least, this is Rayan.

- [Lady Elsa] Hello, Rayan. How are you?

- Great. - Baron.

We don't have the entertainment set for our fundraiser

at your home.

Do you think-

- We'd love to.

- [Lady Elsa] Oh. - You bet.

- Our pleasure.

- Thank you so much.

This is gonna make our goal.

We're gonna be terrific.

(Lady Elsa speaking indistinctly)

- Here's the compressor I promised you.

- Great.

- Oh and uh,

and a vice grip.

- Oh.

(bluesy rock music)

(power pulsing)

- What's that?

- What?

- That pink glow.

- It's just a good feeling.

- A feeling?

- Yeah. You know.

- No, I don't understand.

- Yes, you do.

But now we must put good feelings aside

and get back to work.

The Commander has ordered it.

- Okay, I'll go find that soldering iron.

- Roger that.

(eerie music)

- Is that who I think it is? (light jazzy music)

I'll be right back.

- Hey, hey, I'm gonna scope things out.

- I'll see you in a minute.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't the new improved Baron.

- Oh geez.

- (sighs) Thank God we have a gamma part.

- Luckily I brought a spare.

What is our reading?

- [Silica] 6-5-6-0.

- [Rayan] 6-5-6-0.

Copy that.

- All we need to do

is solder the gamma right there

and we will be good to go.

Where is he?

♪ Music, music makes the beat


- I'll be right there.

♪ Music, music, music, music, music ♪

- I just love what you did to your hair.

So why haven't you called, sweetie?

- Well, I've been involved with my guests.

- Speaking of which,

I know what's going on in that mansion of yours

and I'm gonna make sure everybody else knows too.

- Wow.

The important gamma part.

- I realize we didn't click

but if you think you can blackmail me,

you have another thing coming.

- Fine!

Everybody, I have an announcement to make.

- Where's the gamma part?

- I thought you had it.

(metal clinking) (gong clanging)

- There it is!

- What are you doing?

That belongs to us. (tense music)

- Not anymore.

- Stop! (rays whirring)

- Baron Von Benson here-

- Shut up. Get down. (tense music)

- (sighs) What are you gonna do about it?

(Rays whirring) Oh, ah!

Oh. Oh! (grunting)

- [Katanna] Quick, this woman (Elaine groaning)

is having a cranial seizure.

Call the paramedic.

(Elaine grunting)

- That little gorkin!

- What are we gonna do now?

- Come on.

(Elaine groaning)

- What, is she an epileptic?

- She's been acting really strange lately.

I think she's on drugs.

- [EMT 1] All right, we gotta her restrained here.

- Get her!

She's an alien!

- [EMT 1] Okay. All right, get her arm (indistinct).

- [EMT 2] People please, clear out of the way.

Give us some room here.

- [EMT 1] Let's get her in over-

- [EMT 2] Coming through here, people please!

(lively music)

- Kat, her sidekick stole the gamma.

- Oh no. We've gotta get it back.

Baron, what should we do?

- Don't worry.

We'll get it back from that little peon.

Let's go.

(eerie music)

- Mr. Von Benson are you...

You all can't come back here.


- I believe you have something of ours.

- I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about.

- I'm afraid you do.

- No, I don't.

- Yes you do! (rays whirring)

(Jed screaming)

- Ow, ow!


She has it.

She took it this morning.

- Who? - Elaine.

She took it to the national lab.

Oh, don't do that again.

- Let's go.

- Wow.

What the hell was that? (huffs)

(gentle music)

Oh. (panting)

(Elaine panting) (funky music)

- See!

See! See what I have?

It's from the spaceship! (laughing)

None of you believed me.

You all thought I was crazy.

- Just put it down. Put it down.

- Why? What's wrong with it? (metal clanging)

- So you say you got this from the spaceship?

- [Elaine] Yes.

(metal clanging)

- Ah, very interesting.

We're gonna have to analyze this right away.

- What are you gonna do about those space sluts?

- Get Special Forces.

Pick up the space sluts, I mean, space girls.

Hurry! - Yo, yo, yo!

Ah yes, I won.

♪ Nee nee nee nee nee nee

♪ Nee nee nee nee nee nee

(Elaine laughing)

(birds chirping)

- I'm really sorry this happened, Kat.

Are you still willing to do the charity?

- Are you kidding? Of course I am.

We are going to give the best performance we possibly can

to Lady Elsa.

- Sure been great having you around here lately.

- I just love earth.

It's so much fun.

- I know.

I haven't had this much fun in years.

It's all because of you.

(car rustling)

Who are the...

- Nobody move.

- What's going on here. - Just stay right there.

We're taking her away. - Get outta here.

- She's under arrest. - What do you mean

she's under arrest? - Excessive force expired.

- No, let me go! - Aliens without citizenship.

- What are you talking about? - Space aliens

are prohibited. - No, let me go, stop!

Very well be a threat

to our society. - Baron!

Baron! - Take care of yourself

Mr. Von Benson. - I love that woman!

(Baron grunts)

(tires screeching)

- Hey, hey, wait for me. (tense music)

- (groans) Katanna!

Steve, it's me, pick up.

I know you're working hard, just pick up.

Listen, they got Katanna.

Came in here and shot her up with something

and took her away.

You gotta tell Silica and Rayan

to use their brainwaves to see if we can locate her.

I'm on my way.

Call me on my cell phone.

- [Agent] If she's an alien, I'd like to visit that planet.

- [Agent] Boy howdy.

(Rayan and Silica humming) (tense beeping music)

- [Silica] Katanna, connect.

- [Rayan] Katanna, Katanna, are you all right?

- [Silica] Katanna, connect.

- [Rayan] Katanna, Katanna, what are your coordinates?

- Coordinates.


- [Nurse] Professor, quickly!

- What's the matter, nurse?

- Look!

- Zero.

- I don't know. It looks like she's in some sort of trance.

- It's those drugs.

She needs some more adrenaline.

She's delirious. That will wake her up.

And then she can answer some questions.

Start those tests immediately.

- Yes, Doctor.

- 0-0... (Rayan and Silica humming)

- I wonder how they take... (drill whirring)


(Katanna screaming) - Nurse, hold her down.

- But we've already taken over a pint of fluid.

It could be dangerous for her.

(humming music) - Just do what I say

and hold her down.

(Prof. Pinprick grunts)

(slide whistle whistles) (nurse gasps)

- (gasps) You creep!

I always knew you were on pervert.

Oh, you certainly live up to your name, Pinprick!

- But I, but I need you!

You know what happened?

- Zero... (Rayan and Silica humming)

- Seven.

- I got her!

Steve, she's at the Space Lab.

- [Prof. Pinprick] Nurse.

- [Nurse] Yes, Doctor. (Katanna grunting)

- Quickly, she's out of control. Sedate her.

- But, Doctor-

- Just do it!

(Katanna panting)

I will take full responsibility.

Now just do it!

- All right.

- Baron, we located Katanna.

- She's saying-

- No, you stay there.

We're on our way.

- She's saying she's pregnant.

(laughing) - Oh Baron, did you hear that?

She's pregnant.

Bare? (tense music continues)

- Good.

(suspenseful rhythmic music)

- You can't come in here.

This is a high security facility.

(rays whirring)

(tires screeching)

(air whooshing)

(rays whirring)

(air whooshing)

- Ah. (mumbles)

(rays whirring) Ma... (mumbling)

- Oh, she doesn't look good.

- Her strength is at 45%.

- We must energize her.

- Prepare for energy engagement.

(energy beeping)

- Connecting.

(suspenseful rhythmic music continues)

- 75% (energy beeping)

- 90%.

(Katanna gasps)

- Welcome back.

- I'm glad you girls made it.

- We thought we lost you.

(Katanna sighs)

- Get dressed.

(Prof. Pinprick grunting)

- Clear.

(tires screeching) - [Steve] Baron, we got her!

Yeah, she's gonna be just fine.

- Meet me at Baron Von Benson's place.

I'm gonna get those space girls.

And no other rinky dink fundraiser's gonna stop me!

(Prof. Pinprick grunts)

- [Customer 1] Did you hear (bluesy rock music)

about the fundraiser

at Von Benson's tonight?

- [Customer 2] Why, yes.

Every millionaire in town will be there.

- Anyone who's anyone will be there.

- [Customer 2] Including us.

(customers giggling)

- [Customer 1] What do you think of this?

- [Customer 2] (gasps) It's dazzling, darling.

- [Customer 1] I like it.

- Thank you.

- Did you know about the fundraiser tonight

at Von Benson's?

- Of course I did.

Everybody knows about it.

- Well, why didn't you tell me, you idiot?

(Elaine sighs) - Because being as nosy

as you are, I figured you already had all the gory details.

- Very funny. (Jed chuckles)

Listen, we must get tickets to that event.

(Jed laughing)

- Woo!

(Elaine gasps) Who's your daddy?

- Oh, baby.

(jazzy music)

- I'm going incognito.

- Slick.

- Nobody'll know who I am.

(Jed clears throat) - Uh, and you are?

- JD and E. Murray.

- Enjoy yourselves.

- [Jed And Woman] Thank you.

- I understand you're pregnant.

- I am.

- Is that what you want?

- Yes, it is! (giggles)

- Great, honey, great.

- Oh.

- There you guys are.

Is the ship ready to go?

- Already done.

We fixed it right before the guests started to arrive.

We leave as soon as we fulfill our commitment.

- If you keep the party going until we're through here,

we can lift off without being detected by anyone.

- On behalf of Pediatric Cancer Association,

I want to welcome all of you to tonight's charity event.

Last year we raised $425,000.

This year, our pledges already go beyond 550,000.

(audience applauding) Thank you.

- You name him after me now.

- I will. - And thank you, Baron.

Without your kindness and generosity,

we wouldn't be here tonight. - All right.

- And we really really- - You got two minutes

and you're on.

Good luck. - [Lady Elsa] appreciate it.

- Oh! - [Lady Elsa] Thank you.

- Okay.

(people chattering)

(woman gasps) (dramatic music)

- [Woman] Oh my God!

(people chattering)

- [Woman] Oh my God.

- What happened? What happened?


- Please, Harry, talk to us please.

Harry talk to us. - Oh my God.

(suspenseful music) (Mary crying)

Higgins! Don't die on me. - Help him, help him.

- Higgins!

Call for help!

(Mary crying) - Damn it.

Die on me. - Oh, Harry.

Oh no. - Now, listen.

There's not a lotta time here.

I'm needed on your planet and you're needed here.

I know Baron. (tense music)

He's not gonna be able to live without you.

- (crying) Oh, my Harry.

Oh no.

Oh, Harry, Harry.

(tense music) - He's gone.

He's gone.

I don't believe it!

Higgins died.

(suspenseful music)

- [Man] All right easy now.

- What am I gonna do without my Harry? (crying)

(energy whirring)

(people chattering)

(suspenseful music) (insects chirping)

(energy whirring) (people chattering)

- [Woman] His eyes are opening, look!

- [Man] It's a miracle. - [Woman] Look!

- [Woman] Oh my God!

(people chattering) - [Higgins] Sorry.

(crowd applauding)

- Harry, you're okay.

- I'm all right, darling.

- And don't you ever do that to me again, Harry.

No more of that Viagra.

- I don't need it now.

(crowd chattering) (crowd laughing)

- Naughty man, you.

(insects chirping)

- Baron.

It's okay.

- I'm gonna miss him.

- (chuckles) He's not dead. He's alive.

I saved him.

- What?

- He's alive. (lively music)

- [Higgins] In fact, I know it won't happen again.

- It will not happen again. You stay around.

- Yes, sir.

- I think somebody's at the door.

- Back to work, yes.

- Ladies and gentlemen, the Vanisians.

(audience applauding)

(lively music)

♪ Are you awake, my dear

♪ We need to talk

♪ It's so clear

♪ Something is missing in our life ♪

♪ I used to make you laugh

♪ And you could make me think about stuff ♪

♪ We would take the time to find what matters ♪

(indistinct singing)

♪ Let's get

- [Prof. Pinprick] Hey, everybody freeze!

- [Lady Elsa] What are you gentlemen doing here?

- Those girls a space aliens. (tense music)

- No! - And they're under arrest!

- No, you're ruining our fundraiser.

Get 'em, girls.

- But me, no, not the space aliens!

- He's ruining our fundraiser. (dramatic music)

(Prof. Pinprick shouting)

- [Woman] Oh my God, they're getting away!

Stop them!

- Get outta the way!

Get outta the way!

Ah, oh!

(tense music)

- [Prof. Pinprick] You nincompoops, you let them get away.

- Oh, how could you!

You idiot!

You're letting 'em get away!

(tense music)

- There!

- Okay. (electronics beeping)

How long of a trip is this gonna be anyway?

- Quite long.

But it won't feel that way.

- Don't worry. We'll take great care of our precious cargo.

- After what we have planned,

I don't think you'll want it to end.

- I think I'm gonna

enjoy this trip. (engines whooshing)

- [Rayan] Hang on tight, everybody.

- You are as dumb as you look! (tense music)

- Listen, lady, my job and my reputation

were on the line because of you.

And do you know what I'm gonna tell the higher ups,

when I'm confronted with all this mess?

- All right, jump in a lake?

- No, chose some blonde who was just jealous

and made the whole thing up.

- I don't think so!

I didn't make anything up!

- Aliens? (chuckles)

I don't see any aliens.

Fellas, do you see any aliens? (chuckles)


This is just a fundraiser and you're just a girl

who's a menace to society!

Take her away!

- [Men] Come on, come on!

- They are aliens!

I'm not a menace.

Get your hands off me!

(Prof. Pinprick grunts)

Get outta here.

Get your hands off me. - How do I get myself-

- [Elaine] Get off me!

- into these messes?

Christ! God damn! (tense music)

- Come on, Steve, where are you?

I've been calling all night.

Come on.

I miss the girls, especially Katanna.

I need you now. You're my best friend and I-

- Hi there. (upbeat music)

- Oh my God.

Hi. What happened?

- We switched. (chuckles)

Steve wanted to go to the planet Vanisia

and repopulate with the girls

and I wanted to stay here and be with you.

- (grunts) You make me the happiest man

in the whole universe.

- Oh look, there it is, Poppy. - Hi.

(girls giggling)

(Baron laughing)

- That bear and he saw.

(upbeat music) (spacecraft whooshing)

(bell ringing)

- And as it so happened,

Katanna sent one male back to Vanisia.

And who do you suppose that was?

- [Princesses] Father?

- Yes, that was your father.

After Katanna stayed in that beautiful planet

and Queen Ziba retired,

I was appointed the queen.

And that, my little sweethearts,

is how I became queen.

(lively eerie music)

(spacecraft whooshing)

(tinkling music)

(spaceship whooshing)