Soul Santa (2021) - full transcript
This is the story
about how once upon a time,
my daddy became Santa.
And not just any Santa,
the greatest Santa of all time.
Go, Daddy! Go, go!
Are you ready for the
traffic light challenge?
Are you ready for
the traffic light challenge?
Yeah.
♪ Let's go
Go, go, go, go Vaeh!
Go, go!
Get me, get me, get me, get me!
The light is green,
get back in the car!
Keep going!
Oh, wait! We coming!
Oh, Lord!
That was fun, Daddy.
It's gon' go viral for sure!
See, I told you I could
get you beaucoup followers.
You know I'm the
original social media.
When I throw a party,
they got to call
the National Guard
to get all the people
out of my place.
Million dollar business idea,
make a repellent that
clears the club hella fast
when the party's over.
Perfect Christmas gift, Daddy!
Eh, you know, Christmas
is the biggest con of all.
Why you always say that?
That's gonna land you
on the naughty list.
Ah, you always gonna be
on Santa's nice list.
My little miracle baby.
No, don't tell the story again.
Yep, doctors always told us
we couldn't have any kids.
But after many years of
marriage, out of the blue,
we got pregnant.
We named you Nevaeh,
Heaven spelled backwards.
So where are we going today?
Uh, Horseyland.
You mean the race track.
We going to House of Games.
You mean the casino?
Um, Pockets of Fun.
You mean pool hall.
And I also know the
ballet's the strip club.
How did you know that?
I never took you there.
I've heard you talk about
it with your friends.
We can go anywhere you wanna go.
Yeah, this is Nicky.
No, I can't do that
today, I'm busy.
No, man, I'm b...
Fine, just text it to me.
Yeah, text it to me.
Dog!
I gotta, gotta make
a stop for my job.
After we're done doing that,
the whole day is yours.
You know the drill.
Lock the doors.
If anybody approaches
the car, blow the horn,
and I'll come running.
If it's an emergency...
Pepper spray in your
glove compartment.
And most importantly,
Don't tell Mommy!
Daddy, explain your job again?
Well, I guess you
can say at my job,
I'm the best BS detector out.
Not any con that I can't catch.
Remember that when you
get to become a teenager.
Know the rules, lock the door.
I'm looking for a Deshaun.
I'm his brother.
So let me guess,
he owes your boss a loan
or something like that,
and you're here
to collect, right?
But the thing is,
our bro, he's not paying.
Ever.
Now you come around here again
and I'm gonna lock your ass up.
Shut up!
First of all,
your uniform is bogus.
And what is this?
Your badge is out of date
and your gun is not
even holstered properly.
Pay me my money, Deshaun!
Give me my money now!
Okay, all right.
What the hell you think this is?
Get up, Ryker!
Come on, man.
You can't blame a guy
for trying, right?
I heard you might
stop by, Nicky.
Look man, your debt is high,
and you're still gambling, bro?
You're one to talk!
You're shackled to the
mob for the money you owe!
Okay, at least I'm
chipping away at mine.
Come on, man!
Irish Mike brags on you!
He says you see
things others can't.
Well, tell me, did
you see this coming?
Daddy!
Hey!
Officer Rogers with Child
Protective Services.
We've received reports of
your suspicious activity
and we've been gathering proof
of child abandonment, neglect.
Neglect? I'm right here.
Collecting gambling debts
and illegal activity
while your child is
under your supervision.
Not to mention the open liquor
bottles we now see in your car.
We have to take custody
of your daughter,
return her to her mom.
Please don't do this.
You'll appear before
a judge this week
where your case will be heard.
Please, ma'am, he
said he was sorry!
Can't you just give
him a break, please?
We are.
We could detain him for
illegal debt collection,
but that's another
department's job.
Listen, baby. Daddy did
something really bad this time.
So you have to go
with the lady here.
She'll be safe.
Don't worry, Daddy!
It's almost Christmas.
Good things happen at Christmas!
Bye!
♪ Oh
♪ Oh
♪ The only gift I
want this year ♪
♪ Is to feel love again,
remember that it's real ♪
Mr. Malone, where is everybody?
It's like the rapture in here.
I like to drink alone.
- Oh.
- And for you, I'll make an exception.
Oh, no thanks.
I'm, I'm not staying.
I insist.
How many times I gotta
tell you, call me Mike.
Yeah.
You know, six months
you work for me
and I don't know
anything about you.
Tell me.
What do you want to know?
You got an old lady?
Kids?
No and no.
Family.
Man, there's nothing
like it, you know?
Yeah, I know.
I mean, I can only imagine.
Can you imagine
that my business,
it's like an extended family?
You included.
Now I don't want to hurt
my family, but I will.
Debt's gotta be paid.
Ow!
Patty cake, patty
cake, baker's man.
I'll whoop your ass
as fast as I can!
Knock it off!
Nicky, did you make
the racetrack pickup?
No, I'll get it by 5 tomorrow.
Mike, remember the Timeless idea
I told you about? The business?
How could he forget?
You always yammering on
about that stupid night club.
It's an entertainment
experience.
Okay, what is something
that money can't buy?
Everybody wants and
we never get back?
- Time.
- Time.
So, imagine a place
where for a few hours,
time stands still.
Where the present meets the past
and we celebrate life
at it's highest level.
So you,
you smell the roses while you
still got the chance, huh?
- Exactly.
- Let's have a party, yeah.
And you said when I was ready,
you'd loan me the money.
So I, I have the business
plan, I have location,
all I need is the $100,000.
Oh, Nicky!
I like you!
You're my best collector,
but you don't exactly
inspire a lot of confidence.
So, uh, sorry. No.
- Hey, baby!
- Hi!
Nicky, you're late as usual.
No, we're not due
in court 'til 10.
Nine o'clock. We called you,
and your cell went
straight to voicemail.
Forgot to put it on the
charger, it went dead.
Sweetheart, Daddy and
Mommy need to have a talk.
I feel for you, Daddy!
When Mommy's neck starts
rolling and eyes start blinking,
stop, drop, tuck, and roll!
It's your only escape.
Little girl, this is
grown folk's business.
Go over there and have a seat.
I left work in Connecticut
to come over here
during our busiest season
to deal with this mess.
Liz, I was set up.
Par for the course and
your so-called job.
Courts have already ruled.
Look, it's a restraining order,
barring you from seeing
Nevaeh if I sign.
Ain't no piece of
paper 'bout to keep me
from seeing my kid.
If you fight it, they could
bring charges up against you,
which could lead to jail time.
- They reviewing this in 90 days.
- 90 days?
What about Christmas?
Liz, you not gon'
sign this, are you?
Under normal
circumstances, I wouldn't.
But, Nicky, your behavior.
You gambling and
smoking and drinking.
Your job.
It's too much.
I, I, I just need a few
days to wrap my mind
around this, okay?
Come on, Nevaeh.
Sorry.
Million dollar business idea,
find the cure for sadness,
package it, and sell
the hell out of it.
So call Irish Mike, all right?
Get you a fake union job,
court'll think it's real.
No, I don't want Irish
Mike and his goons
to know nothing
about Liz and Nevaeh.
Oh, before I forget.
Here's Irish Mike's
drop, 48,000.
To Irish Mike,
it's 50,000 a week here.
He can't loan me 100,000?
I gotta admit,
I admire his hustle.
He had the guts to
go get what he want.
That's what I'm
gonna start doing.
Listen, how much money you got?
Four yards.
I won a little bet earlier.
Give it, give it here.
Give it, give it, come on!
Call your guy down
at the racetrack,
let him know it's an emergency.
Tell him I need a,
I need a long shot.
Let him know it's gonna
be 10% for the win.
Willie, it's Joe.
Hey, I need a winner and
it's gotta be a lock.
10%, and I'll forget
what you owe me.
And it needs to be in...
White Lightning.
It's gotta be a lock!
Life and death!
There you go.
Joey, if we gonna do this,
it's gonna need to be big!
If, if, if I'm
gonna pay back Mike,
open up my club Timeless, and
be with Nevaeh for Christmas,
this has gotta be huge.
If you're thinking what
I think you're thinking,
stop thinking!
No guts,
no glory!
Believe me when I tell you, man,
gambling with mob
money is certifiable!
I can't be without my Nevaeh.
I can't do that.
It's like living without water.
And I'm more afraid of that
then Irish Mike any day.
Gimme another one.
Need it...
on White Lightning.
Is there a problem?
White Lightning!
Yes, come on, White lady!
Come on, baby!
No, no, come on,
come on, come on!
No, come on, come
on, come on, come on!
Oh...
Oh God, no. Oh.
Okay, okay, look, no, no.
This, this, this is
not a death sentence.
This is $48,000, okay?
- They're gonna kill you.
- No, no, no.
Nicky, Nicky, you gotta go, man!
- No.
- Mexico, Canada.
You gotta go, man.
You gotta, gotta go.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm, I'm his best
collector, I'm good.
H-h-he's not gonna kill me.
No, I'm good, I'm good.
That won't work.
Mr. Malone, Mike, Mike.
I was drunk and I'll do
whatever I need to do
to make it up to you.
- And then Anthony.
- Yeah.
He hits the number for 10 grand,
blows it all on a strip club.
Ours I hope, right?
Of course, of course!
It's ridiculous!
You know, 'bout Nicky.
What's going on?
Eh, Bernice from the casino
said he bet a mountain
of cash.
Didn't click who
he was until later.
Gambling with our money?
- I know.
- I mean that's beyond stupid.
Yup.
Ah, I like Nicky.
If he pays us back, he can live.
Look, he's not
gonna pay you back.
The guy drives a
old raggedy LeBaron.
If you go easy on him,
people gonna think
you're going soft.
Eh, you're right.
- I'm too nice.
- Yeah.
- That's, that's my problem.
- You want me to...
Nah, just, uh, take
him outta commission.
Mm, all right.
So, Andy's working out okay?
Yeah.
If he could stop being
stupid and try to show off.
Well, let's go Canada!
Canada, here I come.
LeBaron, it's me and
you all the way, baby.
Come on, no, no no.
No, no, no!
Come on, no!
Don't do this to me now! No!
No!
God, I can't afford a
bus ticket to Canada.
Where can I afford
a bus ticket to?
Hi!
Hi, Daddy!
Daddy needs your help.
I'm playing hide and seek
from some New York guys, okay?
I love hide and seek, fun!
All right!
This is your place
to stay for now!
Hide here.
Mommy never comes here.
Okay.
I gotta get ready for school.
See you later.
All right.
- Love you, thank you.
- Love you, too.
Bye!
- All right.
- Let's go.
- So.
- Let's go!
You have a good day.
You gonna close the door?
- Yeah.
- All right.
Be careful!
Bye.
What?
I see you, Liz.
Stanford done turned Liz into
one of the Stepford ex-wives.
Okay, that's Liz!
I see you!
I see you!
Ghost mall, zombie mall,
dead mall!
This mall has been in my
family for three generations,
I never thought we'd
get these labels!
Unfortunately, sir,
pursuing anchor stores
to lure customers in the mall
has yet to render results!
Well, we can't survive
on Mom and Pop shops.
Okay, so what are you
saying, Mr. Fairchild?
We face closure!
Unless we can turn this
around by New Year's.
FYI...
We have been in
the red for years.
Just losing it faster
than we can make it.
I have been floating
this mall on my savings.
I have been approached
by Firefly Enterprises.
The investment firm wants
to purchase the mall
and turn it into a
fulfillment center
for their internet
shopping company.
I don't want to
shut down the mall,
but I might not have a choice.
Well, the good news is, sir,
the Christmas season
brings a good sale boost.
And, we got our good luck charm.
We got the most popular
Santa in Connecticut.
Yes!
He is a local treasure and he's
been our Santa for decades.
Actually, 25 years to be exact.
Perfect!
Silver anniversary.
We can celebrate
his years as Santa!
Yes!
Make this mall a holiday
event destination.
Fairchild here.
Yes.
Yes.
What?
No! Hello?
Santa just quit!
What?
He got an offer to be
Santa at Firefly's mall
in San Francisco
for a lot more money
than we could ever
afford, we are screwed!
All right, I made some calls.
These are the available Santas.
Here we go.
Oh, he won't be driving
anyone's sleighs,
a DUI waiting to happen, next.
Ow.
Whoa!
This is Christmas...
not Halloween. Next.
Oh!
This is not Chippendale's, next!
Oh, okay! One s...
Mm-mm.
This is going from
worse to worst.
Ah...
I guess it's back to
the drawing board.
- Said it, Liz.
- I tried!
Shower.
Ooh!
Mom, hurry, I'm gonna
be late for school!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
- I, I told you...
- Please!
Just hold on! I have to...
Please, don't go in!
I forgot my briefcase!
- You're not gonna be late!
- Mom, stop!
Mommy, do not go in!
What are you doing here?
So you owe how much mob money?
$68,000.
I already owed him 20.
I did hear him say if I paid
it back, they'll let me live.
So you wanna stay here
until you get the money?
And they don't know
nothing about us?
No, Liz. I swear on us, Liz.
I mean, I swear,
they know nothing.
We have Navaeh. We cannot
put her in harm's way.
A restraining order,
now this, Nicky?
Excuse me, Mommy, Daddy.
I know you think
Dad's a bad man,
but he teaches me
good stuff, too.
Like never double
down against face card
and always split aces.
It's not that I need him to
be a good influence on me.
He needs me to be a
good influence on him.
We gotta help him.
He has no one else.
You have to do everything
I say and stay outta sight.
Yeah.
I don't do that anymore.
Okay, well, I have to
go find a new Santa
so I can keep my job.
I'll see y'all later.
And you've actually
worked with reindeer?
- Liz...
- Yes, yes, real live ones.
I want you to meet
our new Santa Claus.
This is James Evans.
He just moved here from
the south side of Chicago
with his wife, Florida,
and three children.
He has references
from former alderman,
Fred C. Davis and community
activist, Willona Woods.
I'm sure you had a lot
of good times in Chicago.
Well, hoping to make
better ones here.
Liz, this Santa Claus
is a method actor,
so he likes to stay in
character at all times.
So, in order to help
with his mystique,
I will keep his
information private,
and from now on, we will
only refer to him as Santa.
My bad!
Rules for being
Santa, "no cursing"?
"No stinky eye"?
What, "no drinking"?
- Hey!
- Hey.
We hear you only want
to be called Santa.
What about St. Nicholas,
Papa Noel, Father Christmas?
None of those.
All the greats only
go by one name.
Sade, Beyoncé,
Prince, Santa.
I'm Kourtney from
the Asian bistro.
Hey, Kourtney.
Damon, T's Teddy Town.
Hey, Damon.
So what's your deal, Santa?
This is a safe space.
Tell us your story.
My life is an open book.
Uh, North Pole, elves, yada,
yada, ya, all that stuff.
Whatever.
So this whole Santa shtick.
You like to
role-play, is that it?
Oh, is this your fetish?
- Like a furry?
- Hey, okay! So, um, this mall.
This is pretty
much like a family,
and Kourtney is
our one-stop shop
for information technology.
- Oh, like that!
- Mm-hmm.
Little Wendy Williams, what's
the hot topic on those two?
Oh, okay.
So Liz and Conrad,
or LizCon as we call them,
they've been on the brink
of an office romance,
but the gag is, they
haven't sealed the deal yet.
Oh.
I don't know why
Liz is stalling.
Conrad is a walking
thirst trap, mm!
I mean, you're acting
like he's supposed
to be the next lead on "The
Bachelor" or something.
Well, he could give
me a rose any day, mm.
Oh, he's not all that.
I'll be back, I gotta go see
a man about a reindeer, so.
Something's we're
gonna have to work on,
- but listen, what can we do?
- Okay.
Hi, Santa.
Here for the grindstone?
Uh, n-no, I, I, I wanted
to ask Liz a question,
but I didn't want
to disturb her.
Oh, well anything you can
ask her, you can ask me.
Oh.
Uh, I wanted to ask her what
key she want her hos in.
Her ho-ho-hos, 'cause you can
do it in soprano, alto, tenor...
W-w-well, indulge me.
Oh...
Ho-ho-ho
or you can go ho-ho-ho...
No, no, no.
It's all about
accentuating your hos.
- Mm-hmm.
- Tease your hos, twirl your hos.
Roll your hos.
Ho-ho-ho!
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
Ho-ho-ho-ho!
Ho-ho-ho-ho!
So, do you like low hos
or you want a high ho?
Ho-ho-ho!
I think lower is better,
don't you?
- Ho-ho-ho.
- Ho-ho-ho.
A good low ho is good.
Oh, as you can see
here on the screen,
we were renovating the mall
into a open-air
mix-use area, okay?
- Mm-hmm.
- And then, we gonna...
I'm sorry. I like, I can't
keep my eyes off you.
You know this right here,
this part right here is what
Mr. Fairchild likes most,
right here.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Let me come see you, please.
Conrad, I don't know
if it's a good time.
Nevaeh just got
back from her dad.
- Her dad?
- Yes.
The guy you were
telling me about.
Yeah.
What is, is that why
you ran off to New York?
Not exactly.
Listen.
I just need you to know
that I wanna make you happy.
What?
Hey, you do something
different to your hair?
- I like that.
- Hey!
It's nice, I like it.
A compliment from you?
Must be the Santa suit.
Wow, that's cold. Uh, yep.
Santa's Village, part kid zone,
part Christmas camp,
a place where the kids can
play while the parents shop.
Really?
What is it, condemned
or something?
Just think, $75 an hour,
plus a Christmas bonus,
is a way for you to
pay back the mob.
Go get 'em, Santa.
Okay, who first?
What you want for
Christmas, little girl?
No, you...
You can hang that up, you
ain't getting none of that!
What-what's wrong with her?
What you doing?
It... No, get her, get her!
Honey, are you okay?
Get her, take her b...
Did you just throw up on me?
What is this?
Ain't this about a...
Full disclosure,
you're a disaster.
I've seen a lot of
Santas in my day,
and frankly, you're the worst.
Okay, you just seen
me with one kid.
I'm a quick judge of character.
It doesn't matter anyway.
I don't believe in you.
Santa Claus is a
patriotical notion.
A propaganda tool used for
heteronormative dominance.
I didn't understand
nothing you just said.
- None of it.
- Erix!
Erix!
Erix, you're making me late
for my mani, pedi,
facial, and waxing!
What are you doing
in Santa's Village?
You were supposed to meet
me at the food court.
I just had a few questions
for Mr. Santa over here.
You...
are.. new...
- Santa?
- Yeah.
How did you get this job?
Is it, is it Make
A Wish Foundation?
It's just, um...
I didn't think that our
mall Santa would be so...
Hot.
So tempting.
A lot of people say
this is Phat Klein.
What you think?
Our mall used to have standards
before we got our Santas
off of the discount racks
and the FEMA lines!
Well, ho-ho-ho to you, too!
I'm going to call the
manager on you, Santa!
I already called him.
Ho-ho-ho, Karen!
- Yes?
- Liz,
customers are complaining
about the new Santa, okay?
We both know what that means.
I said he was a stand-in
until the real Santa got here,
somebody can keep this
going 'til Christmas.
Let's hope so.
Hey, baby.
Hi, Daddy.
Santa's Village was empty!
It was emptier than my wallet.
Emptier than the emptiest
bowl of emptiness.
It was terrible.
- It'll pick up, I'm sure of it.
- Yeah.
You know what Santa's
Village needs?
We need a milkshake.
A milkshake? What flavor?
No, not the dessert. The appeal.
Look, if...
If all the milkshakes
bring boys to the yard,
we need something to bring
all the kids to the village.
- Hey, guys, what are you doing?
- -Hey.
But you're the milkshake, Daddy.
You know what?
If that's the case, I gotta
get into the soul of Santa.
I gotta get under the skin.
Mommy, since it's my
last day of school
before the holidays, can I be
Santa's helper at the mall?
Please, please, please, please?
Okay, okay!
Now look, no one can
know he's your dad!
I see some things never change.
Yep.
Hey, I've been
intending to ask you,
what is it with all this
new age glow up in here?
Well, what's wrong with
me bettering myself?
Uh, you just taking this thing
to a whole 'nother level, huh?
Well, somebody has to.
Did she just come for me?
Oh, I have goals, too!
Okay, you don't get it.
Okay, look.
So. Okay, imagine.
A virtual reality
state-of-the-art facility,
where each room has
its own pop culture
that dates back a century.
There's gonna be dancing.
Like that.
There's gonna be music.
Also fashion, we gonna have
fashion up in that piece.
Oh, at our place,
we'll create a
nostalgia-induced experience
that's gonna be just for you.
At Timeless, it's always
gonna be your party.
You... just look at that.
Look at the wiggle.
Look at the wiggle,
this is at Timeless.
This is what
happens at Timeless.
Okay, okay!
All right, okay!
Daddy, you never told
me how you and Mommy
made this Timeless idea!
- Oh.
- Well...
I'm sorry, guys, I
have a conference call.
You remember the club I
told you about in Jersey.
That's "Stella's,"
named after grandma.
Yep. God rest her soul.
Yep. You know, your mom
was the main attraction.
Everybody wanted
to hear her sing.
Mommy sang?
She was amazing!
But, Daddy's mistakes
caused us to lose the club.
Yeah, I caused us
to lose everything.
But I wanna keep my
promise to Mommy.
Wish I knew more.
Nicky drank, gambled,
picked up your cash.
Other than that, he's a blank.
Understood.
Here's a donation
for your soccer team.
I was a kickass
goalie back in school.
You ever needed a team sponsor,
Paddy Kake Chiropractic
is available.
Nicky,
hope you're okay.
Why did you tell Nevaeh
about Jersey days?
We agreed that we wouldn't.
Well, I didn't wanna lie to
her and tell her anymore...
But if you're gonna
tell her the truth,
tell her the whole truth!
Did you tell her how you
gambled away our house,
- our savings, the nightclub?
- Oh.
You promised you wouldn't
be like your dad.
Okay, don't bring up my dad.
But when God blessed
us with Nevaeh,
I had to end this cycle
for her, for her sake!
I begged you, Nicky.
- Oh, you think I...
- Oh, yes I did!
You don't think I
know I messed up?
I gave you an ultimatum
to change and you didn't!
You didn't, Nicky!
And you wonder why I
don't sing anymore.
Wake up, wake up, wake up!
You wanna build a
bigger audience?
You gotta go to bed sooner!
Okay, wait a minute,
is it six of y'all?
What is going on?
It's a Santa crash course.
Image is everything
when you're Santa.
Us kids may not remember
every gift for Christmas,
but we'll never
forget our Santa.
She peed.
You gotta wrap gifts better
than Macy's gift
wrapping expert.
See?
Master the jolly
laugh, bellybutton rub,
and do it in all
different languages, hm!
Merry Christmas!
Feliz Navidad! Buon Natale!
Joyeux Noelle!
You are now ready
to work that mall!
Well, thank you, Santa sensei.
That's funny.
Liz, we gonna rock
this Christmas.
Rock Christmas?
I love that, now that's
enthusiasm, Santa.
Um, morning Santa,
how can I help you?
Uh, I just came to check in.
So, uh, I hear our
little Nevaeh here
is gonna be a Santa's
helper this year.
Yeah, um, Nevaeh is.
Uh, uh, well thank you
for coming by, Santa.
Yeah, anytime. Thank you.
Hey, hey, now you make
sure you don't break
any child labor laws working
our little Nevaeh here.
You know, I'd like to break
my foot off in his little...
Um, Nevaeh. Come on, we'll
take you to Santa's Village.
- Okay.
- I'm sure Santa would...
No, I can walk you.
We haven't caught up
anyway since New York.
Well, Conrad, you and I have
paperwork we need to discuss.
I'm sure Santa wouldn't mind
taking her, right Santa?
Right. Don't mind at all.
All right, well, ay, you make
sure you knock 'em dead, tiger.
Yeah, knock 'em dead.
Come on 'fore I bite him.
Daddy, you almost broke cover!
I know, that's so unlike me!
- You've gotta tighten up!
- Yeah.
Hey, tell me about
this dude Conrad.
I can't get a read on him,
it's just weird.
He's pretty cool.
Pretty cool?
Y'all spend much time together?
No, but I think he likes Mommy.
Does she like him?
Not sure, maybe.
Hmm, maybe. Uh, where you going?
You passed the crash course.
Now it's time to leave
the bread crumbs.
Come on!
Conrad ever been over
your house late at night?
- Come on, Daddy!
- I'm coming!
- Work with me!
- I'm coming!
It's free samples from
stores around the mall.
Mommy uses these
for promo purposes,
and we are, too!
Okay. What do you
you want me to do?
Hold this bag so I can put
the free samples in there.
Okay, free samples, wow!
- Yep!
- All right!
- Ho-ho-ho!
- Santa's Village over there!
Merry Christmas,
Merry Christmas.
Come see us at Santa's Village.
Merry Christmas, Santa's
Village over there!
Come see us at Santa's Village.
Everybody, see us
at Santa's Village
for carol, songs,
and Santa time!
Oh, look, look, kids!
Kids!
Ay, who wants to write a
letter to The North Pole?
- Come on!
- Come on.
Tell me you wouldn't
wanna make friends
with Santa's elves
in the North Pole?
I know I do!
Yes!
Why are they writing?
Wouldn't it be easier
to text it or DM it?
No!
Magic happens when you write!
It transforms into
something real.
Okay, here, you guys can take
these right on over there.
I'm circling back
vis-à-vis our last chat.
Okay, what is it with
the Santa inquisition?
Tell me about your
life on the North Pole.
Okay, have a seat, have a seat.
You wanna know about my life?
Okay, let me tell you.
Everybody wants to be Santa.
Do you know that
Frosty the Snowman
and The Little Drummer
Boy tried to take my job?
And Scrooge had an affair
with Mrs. Claus! Yes!
Jingle Bells tried
to get me caught up
in some "Me Too" scandal,
and The Ghost of Christmas Past,
Present, and Future
all held me at gunpoint,
while Dancer, Prancer,
Cupid, and Comet
all tried to take my sled.
And you know who the
ringleader was, don't you?
Yes, that's right, Rudolph
with his shiny nose.
And don't get me started
what The Nutcracker
tried to do to me!
Yeah, right!
Sure, Santa!
No!
Oh, no!
No, no, no, no!
I take it you got that alert.
Our mall is getting skewered
all over the Internet!
Our rating has fallen
from a 3.9 to a 1 in one day!
Bad-mouthing the business on
the Internet is one thing,
but a slander campaign, come on,
that's something else.
And their biggest issue
seems to be new Santa!
I just need us to break even
before the New Year, or, or...
Keeping the mall alive
just doesn't make sense,
and now, we may have to
get rid of new Santa.
I hate to say it, he's right.
Well, I just got a
text from my lawyer.
They spoke with the
review site who agreed
that a rate fall that fast
goes against any algorithm.
Well, even if it's
not Santa's fault,
we cannot afford to
tarnish our brand.
Well, with all due respect, sir,
what we can't afford is
to allow outside forces
to control us.
If we give into the
Internet trolls,
the corporate wolves
would eat us alive!
The reviews should
be down in 48 hours.
Hey, I support you guys 100%.
Thank you.
I thought that when I grew up,
I would become a gallerist.
Artist, bourgeoisie.
So what happened?
My father passed away.
Mall fell on my
shoulders, end of story.
Well, I had dreams, too.
I, I was a lounge singer,
if you can believe that.
Really?
I never would've caught that.
Hmm.
If you don't mind
me asking, sir,
h-how did your marriage survive
trading dreams for careers?
Mines couldn't.
Well, it wasn't easy.
Got ugly at times,
but we had to
redefine happiness.
Find the beauty in the struggle.
- Touchdown, yes!
- Yes, yes!
We gon' beat them!
- Score!
- Yes!
Ooh, so who's winning,
what's the spread?
- New York, plus seven points!
- All right!
Let's go, baby, let's go, baby!
Come on, Big Blue,
come on, Big Blue!
Woo-hoo!
Yes!
Liz, I know you all
enlightened and stuff,
but why won't you let us put
some real Christmas
decorations up?
O-or is that gonna
mess with your chi?
What are you talking about?
This house is decorated!
Girl, look at that tree!
That ain't no real decoration.
My tree looks good!
Look like a Charlie
Brown Christmas.
Oh!
That thing catch on
fire if your spark that.
That ain't no real tree.
Come on, let us, let us
lighten the place up.
Come on, let us slay
this house, right?
We gon' slay this house!
- We gon' slay this house!
- We gon' slay this house!
Woo! We gon' slay this house!
Woo!
Searched the
burroughs, no Nicky.
My contact hasn't been able to
track the cell phone, either.
So what do you wanna do next?
Up the bounty to 20k.
Okay.
What is it with this mall?
Low morale, lackluster
salesmen, bad advertising.
It's a retail apocalypse.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, I agree,
but unfortunately,
it's been that way.
Well, it don't have
to stay that way.
I can turn this place around.
The Donald may have
the art of the deal,
but I have the
art of the hustle.
Well, I'm willing
to try anything,
'cause if this mall shuts down,
unemployment lines are
not a good journey for me.
Yeah, but you would have
to run any strategic ideas
by mall management and...
Cuffing season for
the almost lovers.
Can you feel the
heat from here? Woo!
Sure, whatever.
Let me tell you how the
360 mall reboot plan
will work, okay?
I'll be back in a sec.
I created the plan.
I know, I know, and it was a
great little plan in theory.
But you know, in the
real world, you know,
theory has to be
put into practice.
- I'll say.
- Yeah.
Can I speak with
you for a second?
- Oh.
- Uh, we're having lunch.
Can it wait?
Just one second.
Why are you letting him
mansplain you like that?
Being all condescending?
You wouldn't have
never let me get away
with that back in the day.
It's not back in the day
and you don't know him.
He is my biggest
support in this mall.
So mind your business, Nicky!
Mind my business?
- Everything okay?
- Yeah, it's fine.
Okay.
So yeah, as I, as I w...
I have a few mall
improvement ideas.
That's cute, Santa, but uh,
I think mall improvements
are a little bit
above your pay grade.
I was talking to Liz.
It's Ms. Cole.
And, uh, the next time
that I need my time
or my meeting
needlessly interrupted,
I'll be sure to call you.
Thanks, Santa.
- This m... He don't know...
- Would you...
Thank you, Santa.
Looks like you caught a
fade from Prince Conrad.
Straight canceled!
Listen, Conrad is a butthole
in all caps.
Everyone here has a
nightmare Conrad story.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's like
some type of right of
passage or something.
Conrad is a whole snack,
but he is too extra
in all the wrong ways.
Oh, you've been summoned, Kourt.
That's the third time
today he's sent back food!
What a idiot!
We're a buffet, Conrad,
which means we
don't cook to order.
He's got some nerve!
I think Conrad needs a little
something extra in his food.
Here.
There.
- Oh, that oughta get it!
- Yeah.
A little bit more.
Oh, okay.
Uh, for the homies!
Mm!
Bon appetit!
Ah, merci beaucoup, mon amie!
Thank you so much.
Ah, magnifique!
So uh, where were we?
You were just agreeing
with my data analysis,
but disagreeing
at the same time.
Before that.
You were telling me
to trust your opinion,
even if I had prior
knowledge to the contrary.
- Before that.
- Conrad!
I was telling you how
beautiful you are.
Well, thanks!
Mm-hmm. It's the truth.
- Is it better?
- Mm-hmm! Much better!
Here we go. We got action.
What?
What is it? You okay?
What, what is it?
We got a splatter!
Oh, my God!
Ay, forget about
mall management, eh?
Forget it!
I always knew he was full
of shh... Shut your mouth!
Santa, teach us the art
of the hustle, ASAP.
- That part!
- Yeah.
You ready?
Don't matter where you're from,
everybody's buying or selling.
If you can find out
what a person want,
they'll buy anything
you're selling.
Most people base their
choices on five emotions.
Greed...
lust,
compassion,
vanity
and desperation.
Customers, they're your marks.
Salespeople are your grifters.
Co-workers, shields.
These are your steps.
Step one is debate.
Find out what the marks want.
Step two is your hook.
Attach what they want
with what you're selling.
Step three is the real.
Gain their trust
and seal the deal.
You got it?
Let the con games begin.
Hey!
- Hey!
- Hey.
My first paycheck!
I asked Mr. Fairchild to
pay me in cash and he did.
So why are you giving it to me?
'Cause I had a hard time
helping you with child support.
You never asked.
So, I wanted to
make it up to you.
You should be using this
to pay back the mob.
Nah, making amends with
you is much more important.
And it's legitimate
cash for a change.
You know what?
I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll put this toward the
free-Nicky-from-the-mob fund.
Okay, let me see your
360 mall reboot plan.
I heard you talking about it.
You really wanna know?
I always wanna know what's
going on in your head.
- Oh, okay. All right, let me show you. Here it is.
- Okay.
♪ Hey, jingle bells,
jingle bells ♪
- ♪ Jingle all the way
- Come on!
- Yes!
- ♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
♪ In a one horse open sleigh
Go Santa's helpers, yes!
Ho-ho-ho-ho!
Santa, you are really
invigorating these children.
What's your secret?
Uh, my cousin Lavita
Alizé Jenkins works
for the school system,
and she and her
brother, Duracell,
are teaching me the ropes.
- Your life is so colorful!
- Well, you know.
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
♪ Jingle all the
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
♪ In a one horse open
♪ sleigh
Oh!
So why didn't you join us?
If I do walk about,
it has to be substantive.
Like a spiritual soldiering
or a morning constitutional.
Okay.
Daddy, what's wrong?
The kids are happy.
You're doing great
with the mall workers.
Using your naughty skills
for something nice.
Yeah, but Erix makes
the Santa's Village
look like a jail sentence!
If you can teach the mall
workers the magic of the hustle,
why can't you give
some magic to Erix?
You know what?
You're right, you're right!
Erix!
Come here!
I wanna make you Santa's
helper along with Nevaeh.
How much does it pay per hour?
No pay?
Why do you do it, Nevaeh?
'Cause she's a Santa's
helper, she volunteers!
Yes, but her mom works here.
Well, just consider
it community service.
Can I at least get a certificate
to put in my college
application folder?
Do you have this shirt
in a Oxford button-down
or polo style?
People are talking!
There's whispers out there
that Nicky robbed me!
That I got fleeced by a drunk!
Told you!
If you don't take this guy out,
street's gonna think
you're going soft.
You forget about taking
on a commission, hmm?
You tell all the bounties
from Vegas to Atlantic City,
I want Nicky dead! Dead!
Ah, dammit!
Got your coat, have a seat.
Go ahead, I got it.
Okay, okay.
No fever. Are you okay?
- No, I'm fine.
- Oh.
- Have, have a seat.
- Okay, okay, okay!
Parenting is about
meeting halfway.
So, I made something
healthy for you
and slap-your-mama-good for me.
Okay!
All right!
I call it Vegan Soul Food.
- Oh, okay.
- Let's pray.
Lord, thank you for the
food we're about to receive,
in Jesus's name, amen.
- Amen.
- Amen.
So, uh...
Dig in.
- All right, come on, come on.
- What's the surprise?
No, keep coming, keep
coming, keep coming!
- You'll see!
- You'll see!
Right there, right there!
Okay, you'll see
in 5... 4...
3... 2... 1...
go!
Now that's Christmas
right there!
Take it all in, Liz!
Surprise!
- You like that, don't you?
- Okay!
I know exactly what I
want Santa to leave me
- under this tree!
- What's that, baby girl?
More than anything,
I want Santa to bring me
a doll that looks like me!
Oh, cool!
I know you into this
Christmas spirit.
Right, right.
Only thing we need now.
Who's that singing?
That's Mommy.
Mommy, come back!
- Come on!
- Okay.
Mommy, your voice,
it's everything!
Well, thank you, sweetheart!
Hey, help me finish the tree.
Okay, okay.
Nicky, Nicky!
Nicky!
What is it with the
women around here
to keep waking me up?
What is it?
Wake up!
Oh, this is about me
playing the music, right?
Yes.
Why did you do that?
Look, I don't,
I don't want you to keep
letting my past mistakes
keep you from singing.
If you never sing again, you'll
always be a star in my eye.
That's the thing, Nicky.
You see potential in
everything and everybody else,
but not yourself.
It's the way I was raised.
My daddy didn't see me as
a son, he saw me as a con.
A kid with my skills, we
swindled our way through Jersey
like a hot knife through butter.
There was a price to pay.
My childhood.
It's always been off limits
talking about your dad.
What changed?
Being Santa.
It brought back
so many memories.
You know, we had
our biggest score
during the holiday season.
My dad say, "Christmas is
the biggest con of all."
We were so busy hustling
that we never
celebrated the holidays.
Then my mom, on the other hand,
she, she really wanted
something different for me.
I tried so hard not
to be like that man.
But here I am.
You're not like him.
You a dreamer.
Not a schemer.
Then why do I feel like
I've, I've lost so much
of myself along the way?
I just feel like I've lost me.
Say, dude, watch
where you going!
Ay, man, you got tissue every...
Nevermind.
I can't believe this!
Who would?
Huh, I think I seen who did
this, but he's gone now!
You think you can give a
description to mall security?
- Yes.
- Great!
You know, I don't
believe in coincidence.
Think someone's
trying to get us.
Yeah, I agree.
- Come on, Liz, I got an idea.
- Okay.
Well, you help Santa, okay?
Mr. Fairchild, look, we'll
have this place cleaned up
so fresh and so clean,
just like my Santa suit.
- Bless you, Santa.
- Mm-hmm.
How do you keep your Santa
suit so fresh and clean?
Oh, I only take my clothes
to Jefferson Cleaners.
Ran by George and
Weezy Jefferson.
Must make a note of that.
George and Weezy.
How do you spell Weezy? Two Es?
- Two Es, yes.
- Weezy.
You know, Santa's
on the marquee.
The spotlight needs to be on me.
But if you put Santa on blast,
it might get you
spotted by the mob.
Yeah, but I've tried the
suburban Santa stuff.
That's not working for me.
My soul's just not in it.
If I'm gonna do this,
I need to do it my way.
Santa...
- needs some...
- soul!
♪ Hit it
Go, Santa! Go, Santa!
Go, Santa!
Ay!
Go, Santa!
Go, go, go, go!
Come one, come all!
See the greatest show
in the North Pole!
Santa's Village
reopens in 24 hours!
Come see me!
Nicky, this is not a nightclub!
I mean, we can't take
vandalism and you.
Okay, well, uh...
About that impromptu
Santa show I just saw
on the monitors.
Sir, let me explain.
Yes, please explain
the exciting surprise.
What?
It was a jolt!
And a great distraction
from the vandalism!
And it was all Liz's idea.
Oh, well, with ideas like that,
you will be getting a promotion
as long as the
mall stays afloat.
I don't know what to say.
Oh, Liz is being modest.
She already had a plan to
revamp Santa's Village,
making it the hippest
trip in America.
Bravo! To you both, but, you,
where did you get those moves?
Oh, I learned the
dance from my homies,
Raj, Rerun, Dwayne,
and The Fly Girls.
"What's Happening"
is when I dance,
it's all in "Living Color".
You are such a
visual artist!
- Well, that I am!
- Hmm!
♪ Uh
♪ God
♪ Haha
♪ Good
♪ Good God
♪ Ah
♪ Yeah
Squad goals? Santa squad goals!
What does Firefly Enterprise
have that we don't have?
A dope ass mall.
But we have dope people.
We have a goldmine right here!
Pickings look slim to me, Santa.
Well, it's not about pizzazz.
Instead of having everybody
just sit on Santa's lap,
I say we get everybody
involved in on the action.
I'm gonna do Santa like I seen
growing up as a little boy.
I'm gonna be Soul Santa!
Soul Santa?
That's a whole mood!
It will be as soon as Erix
shares his musical talents
with us.
What are you talking about,
Santa?
You play an instrument.
How could you
possibly know that?
'Cause I'm Santa.
Come on!
I demand an explanation!
I did not approve my
son as a Santa's helper!
What? Oh, wait a minute!
What... Are y'all seeing this?
Are, are you seeing this?
Yes!
Oh, my... You, you don't see it?
You are absolutely perfect!
Yas! Hunty, yas-uh!
You are so quiche!
I am?
Yes!
I mean, yes!
I know!
And we would be honored
if you would share your
impeccable style with us.
Tell me more!
Need I say more?
S-spin, let me see the spin.
Ho-ho-ho!
Yes!
Let the glitter... Oh, ho-ho!
Welcome!
Yes, it's true!
Of all the people
in this mall...
Hey, Brenda!
I was chosen
to welcome you!
Now, New York may
have the Met Gala,
but the Sunshine
Mall has the all-new
Santa's Village!
All right, party people!
Who's ready to get
their Christmas on?
Okay, Santa! Come
all the way through!
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
I'm about to put some soul
into Soul Santa's Village!
Yes, boy!
Uh, low-key, high-key, this
audience is light as a mother.
Uh, y-y-you think more
people are coming?
If I built it, they will come.
Watch me party.
Step back and watch me work!
♪ Uh, when I say
Santa, you say Claus ♪
- ♪ Santa!
- Claus!
- ♪ Santa!
- Claus!
- Okay.
- Claus!
It's obvious we have a little
learning curve here, okay?
So, these are the rules
for the new Santa Village.
There will be no
wallflowers, you got it?
No wallflowers!
Now take a deep breath,
leave your egos at the door,
let your hair down.
So are you ready to party?
♪ When I say Santa,
you say Claus ♪
- ♪ Santa - Claus!
- ♪ Santa - Claus!
♪ When I say Merry,
you say Christmas ♪
- ♪ Merry - Christmas!
- ♪ Merry - Christmas!
♪ When I say Hanu-,
you say -kkah ♪
- ♪ Hanu... kkah!
- ♪ Hanu... kkah!
♪ When I say Kwan-,
you say -zaa ♪
- ♪ Kwan... zaa!
- ♪ Kwan... zaa!
Yeah, boy!
Okay, why does Santa
need an umbrella?
For the rain, dear!
Yeah!
Pass me my knife,
'cause I'm cutting 'em!
Yes, Lord, I'm cutting 'em.
And Joker, nobody
can beat that one!
Nobody can beat...
And, uh, on you! I got fire
in these hands, baby, fire!
But what card do I have...
Santa?
Ah!
No, w-we'll work on that.
Throw the bones, throw the bone!
Fried chicken and cornbread
keep a poor man fed.
Yeah.
G-good job on that
revamp, Santa.
Yeah.
Daddy shoots outtie, uh!
Ooh, okay, okay!
Nice, but no seriously, though.
You really came
through this season.
You may have saved the
mall, my job, and...
Liz's.
I better pay attention.
You know, miracles
happen at Christmas.
You know, it's funny you
should say that, Santa.
'Cause I think I found
a miracle in Liz.
She's a great one.
Everything I ever ask for.
Uh, boat 'em!
Okay!
Oh!
And Nevaeh?
She is the sweetest
kid, I swear.
Ooh!
I think I found my family,
though, Santa.
They're amazing.
And her ex?
Some kind of degenerate,
gambling low-life, I don't know.
Somewhere in her heart, I think
she's holding out for him,
but her mind knows better.
Three piece. Hold the biscuit.
It's an earthquake!
Domino!
Hey! Better luck next time!
That's my son!
Put some stank on it, son,
put some stank on it.
- Great job!
- Oh!
- Sure, sure.
- Yeah, sure!
- Yeah!
- Thank you!
Merry Christmas!
- Merry Christmas!
- Bye!
Thank you, Soul Santa!
Thank you, soul brother!
Um...
You haven't won me
over yet, Santa,
but this is a moral victory.
- We won her over.
- Yup!
You're Santa now, really Santa.
Sure, sure!
Ay, yo! Come here!
You gotta look at this,
it's hilarious!
Look at that!
Enough fun and games.
Raise the hit on Nicky to 40k.
Yeah.
Uh...
What is this called?
It's a grounding technique.
Focusing on the here and now.
Okay.
Can we talk about
the here and now?
Grounding works best in silence,
but words can't be therapeutic.
Uh...
Being here has
brought back feelings.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Breathe through it.
It's, it's brought back
feelings for me that I thought...
Self-soothe, be aware.
Speak truth.
Well, that ends the session.
Gotta get ready to meet Conrad.
Conrad?
Yeah, we're going to dinner.
As the young people say now,
we're Instagram official!
This about a... Conrad.
It's okay, Daddy. Don't give up.
- Stop lying on Conrad!
- Lying?
I seen old boy booed up, booed
up with the cosmetic chick.
Nicky, stop throwing
shade on my joy!
What?
Oh, man!
I do not act like my mother!
That hurt my feelings.
You...
You're patronizing me!
You're right, I am trying
to work on my weight
and smile more!
I am here looking for something
pretty to wear for you!
Was that hubby?
What's it to you?
Mind if I offer my two cents?
No.
What?
What is it?
It seems as if hubby treats
you like a possession.
So to balance it all,
you come to the mall and
buy all these things.
But you're not gonna
find what you need.
Which is?
I don't know,
that's for you to answer.
But it is something
that money can't buy.
Well...
Hey, hey, Phil.
Look what I did.
I told you, I'm a stable genius.
Get it?
Just wheel him in.
Good job!
We have had some
unsettling news.
An unknown source has revealed
that you have been giving
our workers con job training.
Et tu, Santa?
Say it isn't so.
This is a con-spiracy.
Did I impart wisdom
into the staff?
Yes!
Have you seen an increase
in sales due to it?
Yes!
Enough said.
Uh, he's right.
Uh, sales are well, and the
products are legitimate,
so marketing could be creative.
I am not comfortable with this!
If it gets out,
we could be flagged by the
Better Business Bureau. Or worse.
But we are so close
to breaking even!
Just no more cons!
Right?
No.
- No?
- Right.
Yes.
- No.
- No meaning yes.
- All right.
- In a positive way.
- Good.
- Yes, no.
What were you thinking?
Conning at my place of business?
Well, I was thinking about you.
- Me?
- Yes, you!
Thinking about your job,
thinking about this mall!
I would do anything for
you because I love you.
That's what I was trying to say.
Nicky,
I will always care about you.
I didn't say care.
I said, I love...
No, Nicky!
Cannot go down this road again.
It's just best
that we be friends.
- Friends?
- Yes.
Well, I don't wanna be friends.
Yeah, I'll get that back to you.
Everything okay out here?
It's fine.
Yeah, we good.
Just having a conversation
with my friend.
Oh, dear.
You never look so worrisome.
What, was it the coup
d'etat in my office?
No, I just got a lot on my mind.
You need an outlet.
What do you do for fun?
I usually cleanse myself in
the waters of Lake Minnetonka.
Oh.
Well that sounds
so fun, so fine.
You ever feel like
you've missed your shot?
All the time.
Like with our
Christmas marketing,
we're doing good, but
we're missing something
to tip the scale.
The revamp Santa's Village
is doing wonderful!
It's growing bigger
and bigger every day.
What you need to
do on Christmas Eve
is throw a huge party!
Big party!
That will give you the
audience that you need.
Christmas Eve is
three days away.
Oh, that's plenty of time.
It'll be Santa's
Village on steroids!
- Really?
- Yes!
This tree is gonna be so pretty!
So pretty!
Christmas Eve experience.
So you want to pimp the
house out, Christmas style?
It's my turn.
Go, go ahead.
- Come on, Daddy!
- Come on, Nicky!
Join the fun!
We could do it together.
Okay.
Christmas Eve experience.
Just grab something
outta the box.
Okay.
I'll get a...
What if I do a bow?
Yes, that sounds good!
I'ma put it right in
the center right there.
Bam!
Look at that!
The Christmas Eve event
is going to be a blowout!
So please, check your inboxes
because we're integrating all
of your products and services
into the event that night.
Isn't that wonderful?
Yeah, I know it is.
I know it is.
And everything that
the customers will see
when they come in is
going to be for sale.
So...
Conrad is my man, not yours.
What?
Here he is!
In my bed after we've taken
real good care of each other.
But the trees and
all the good stuff.
So we'll have trees and you
can have your fragrances.
- Mm-hmm!
- And, you know,
all your lingerie
line and everything.
Hey!
The makeup counter lady
with the bad lace front
just bumrushed Liz!
What?
I'll be back.
Excuse me.
- Conrad!
- What's up?
Your chick, Tiffany in
cosmetics, just approached me
and said you slept with her!
Come on, Liz, you
know that's not true.
Don't lie, Conrad!
She just showed me pictures of
you in the throes of it all.
- So?
- So?
Listen, I don't do drama, okay?
So if you want to be with me,
you better act like it!
Man,
I ain't got to deal with this...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- You better get your hands off of me!
Listen, you don't
walk away from...
- Hey!
- Would you let me go?
Did I do that?
Oh, dear!
You saw what he did! He hit me!
I'm going to HR,
he should be fired!
- And you?
- Me?
You were rough
with Liz, horrible!
And after today's drama,
several women have reported your
torrid relations around the mall!
E-e-everything that I've done
here has been consensual.
It will be an internal
investigation into all allegations.
Investigation?
That's right.
I'ma ask you one more time!
I told you, I don't
know a Conrad!
Stop lying, he gave
you an envelope!
I know he gave...
I'm keeping this.
I'm not saying another word.
Oh, you not?
Okay, okay, okay!
I'll tell you everything,
I'll tell you everything.
Yeah, no reward.
It's the wrong car.
Hey!
Man, what you doing here?
Heard you talked to my
connect this morning.
You know something about me,
now I know something about you.
You don't know nothing about me.
Ah, you're the
deadbeat ex-husband.
My tech guy's got
your pictures, okay.
Nicky Cole.
Huh, you've been a naughty boy.
Problems on both sides
of the law, I see.
And the mob's looking for you.
- Mm, mm, mm.
- I guess it's true.
The only kinda con can't
catch is another con.
What you want?
Not our mutual destruction.
And how do we prevent that?
Well, I don't call the mob,
and you help us out.
Help you how?
Firefly saw your
little Santa Claus seg.
They want you to
host their gala.
They're gonna broadcast
you around their malls
all across the country.
Okay, man, you know
that's the same night
as the Christmas Eve event.
If I don't show up,
it's gonna be a disaster.
Exactly.
And you can't warn anyone,
but the best part is we pay.
Nice to meet you, Nicky Cole.
I talked to Willie
at the stables.
He said he tipped
you off the day
that Nicky lost all that money.
And he also said you're
Nicky's Jersey homeboy.
You got me, Paddy Kakes.
Ah! Come on, man!
You lied last time!
It won't happen again!
Where's Nicky's daughter?
Kid's mom took her
to Hawaii, man!
No.
You're lying again!
So now,
I'm prescribing a
musculoskeletal basic procedure.
- No, man, no!
- Without anesthesia.
Oh, damn!
Stanford, Connecticut.
Don't do this, man.
Come on, Paddy Kakes.
Well, now I gotta make sure
you don't call anybody.
No, man! Come on,
don't do this, man!
Come on!
Hurry up, Nicky,
and get dressed.
- We'll meet you there.
- Mm-hmm.
- Be on Santa time, not CP time.
- I hear you.
All right.
In my neighborhood, we
had a special tradition.
- Really?
- Yes!
We sure did!
We always gave the kids one gift
on Christmas Eve from Santa.
Can we do that tradition?
- Yes!
- Sure!
- Look!
- Gotcha!
Mommy, Daddy, look
what Santa brought me!
Just what I wanted!
Oh!
These fresh dolls are
positively perfect!
They look just like me!
- She does!
- Yeah!
Okay, you guys better get going.
Okay.
We'll be waiting for
you at Santa's Village!
Okay, baby, lady.
Bye, Daddy!
- Bye-bye.
- Great job!
Oh!
- Okay.
- Bye!
- Bye-bye!
- Bye!
Can't wait!
Be careful!
Where's Santa? He's late.
Have you called your dad?
Keeps going to voicemail.
A no-show Santa will be chaos!
I should've sold
this mall to Firefly!
They decreased their offer.
Before long, I'll be belly up!
Uh, I made a mistake,
I put in the wrong address.
I don't need to go
to Firefly Mall.
Take me to Sunshine Mall,
step on it!
Ho to the ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
I'm here, I'm here!
This is my husband, Bill,
and these are his
friends from work.
They came to see the show.
These bags aren't mine.
We are buying gifts
for the needy.
Um, I, I don't usually,
um, eat crow,
but here goes.
I am so sorry
I judged you, Santa.
Thank you for saving my family.
Ho-ho-ho-ho!
I still don't believe
in Santa Claus,
but I do believe in you.
Well, I got to get
this party started.
Ho-ho-ho-ho!
Let's get this
Santa party started!
Y'all ready?
Okay!
♪ When I say Christmas,
you say Eve ♪
- ♪ Christmas - Eve!
- ♪ Christmas - Eve!
- ♪ Christmas - Eve!
All right, all right!
Well, thank you all for coming.
It's Christmas Eve, of course.
And I want to let you
all know that tonight,
all of the stores in the mall
are gonna be open extra late,
just for you, okay?
So get ready for a
night full of surprises!
Are you ready for the surprises?
Yes!
Speaking of surprises,
I have one that's
going to be a doozy.
Santa is a fake.
He's a liar and a crook.
His real name
is Nicky Cole,
ex-husband of Liz Cole.
Well, what are his crimes,
you ask?
Illegal gambling,
loansharking, racketeering,
and most importantly,
swindling each and
every one of you here.
Even his own wife and daughter.
He's a pathetic little conman.
Go ahead, Santa.
What do you have to
say for yourself?
Everything you said is true.
That's who I was,
but that's not who I am anymore.
And I used to think Christmas
was the biggest con of all.
I seen Christmas through
all of your eyes.
I now see that a mall is
more than its stores.
It's relationships,
it's community.
I-it's not the building.
It's the people inside
that you connect with.
It's a place where you can,
you can come and find love.
Place where you can
come and find compassion
and understanding.
It's a place where you can
find the meaning of life.
That's timeless, and the
person who's really trying
to destroy Sunshine
Mall is Conrad.
That's absurd!
No, it's not!
Conrad is helping
Firefly Enterprises
to sabotage the mall...
to force Fairchild to cave,
and sell this property to them!
Corporate spying is a...
It's a federal offense!
You and Firefly will be
hearing from our lawyers!
You're fired, get to stepping!
Get him out of our mall!
Got you! Let's go!
Wait, what are you doing?
Give me that back!
Get your hands off of me!
I'm Conrad Biles for God sake!
In a world that tries to
divide us by technology,
it's good to know
that we have a place
that we can all still
come and gather.
This is my Christmas wish,
save Sunshine Mall!
Save Sunshine Mall!
Save Sunshine Mall!
Save Sunshine Mall!
Save Sunshine Mall!
Save Sunshine Mall!
Save Sunshine Mall!
Save Sunshine Mall!
Save Sunshine Mall!
Save Sunshine Mall!
- Save Sunshine Mall!
- Let's all give
a big hand to our Soul Santa!
Thank you, thank you, Santa!
Thank you!
I enjoyed the
Christmas show, Nicky.
Too bad you won't see it end.
- Look, I'm sorry...
- Too late for apologies, Nicky.
I'm going to turn you into
the new skeleton in my office.
Filet-a-Santa style.
Mr. Malone, I just need a
little time, I'll pay you back.
Got the dough?
I had an offer for $100,000
but I would've had
to sell my soul.
Saved your soul as you
lose your life, huh?
- Get off me!
- Santa!
Honey, Santa needs our help!
Santa!
Y'all better let go
of Santa right now
before I throw hands,
and that's on period!
Thank you so much for coming,
I hope you're
enjoying yourselves.
Liz, Liz!
- E-e-excuse me. Yes?
- Good news!
I just heard from my accountant.
We met our goal,
the mall can stay open!
Oh!
Thank you so much for coming!
Thank you so much!
Congratulations, but...
Before we celebrate, there's
something else I need to say.
Nicky, what are you doing?
I didn't get a chance to
apologize to everybody.
Especially you two.
I just wanna let you
know that I apologize
for all the hurt and
pain that I've caused.
Being here with you
and everybody else is,
is truly a miracle for me.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
♪ Family's here filled with
cheer, finding the perfect gift ♪
♪ Running around, you hear the
sound of loved ones you miss ♪
♪ Reminding me what
♪ Christmas really means
♪ And I still believe
♪ Feel it in the air,
love is everywhere ♪
♪ Every moment shared
♪ That's what
♪ Christmas
♪ Means
♪ Yeah
♪ It really means
♪ Caroling everywhere, bringing
the tidings, can you hear ♪
♪ Can you see it, the unity
♪ It's the best time of year
♪ It's reminding me
♪ What Christmas really means
♪ And I still believe
♪ Yeah, feel it in the air
♪ Love is everywhere
♪ Every moment shared
♪ Is what Christmas
really means ♪
♪ And I hope you know
♪ Wherever you go
♪ This love will come home
♪ That's what Christmas
♪ Means ♪
Look, Daddy, it's Christmas!
Yes!
I wish we could do
this all year long.
This is a truly timeless event.
Mr. Fairchild, w-we might
have something for you.
See, Nicky!
Miracles do happen,
my Soul Santa!
♪ And a happiness
♪ Love is everywhere
♪ Every moment shared
♪ Every moment shared
♪ And that's what
Christmas really means ♪
♪ And I hope you know
wherever you go ♪
♪ This love will follow
♪ That's what
Christmas means, yeah ♪
And that was
my Christmas miracle.
Mommy fell back in
love with Daddy,
Daddy helped Mommy
save the mall,
Mr. Fairchild hired Daddy
to keep Santa's Timeless
Village Nightclub
open year round,
and me,
I'm still Santa's little helper.
Merry Christmas to all,
and to all, a goodnight!
♪ Christmas
♪ Means
Merry Christmas, everybody!
♪ Yeah
♪ It really means
♪ Caroling everywhere, bringing
the tidings, can you hear ♪
♪ Can you see it, the unity
♪ It's the best time of year
♪ It's reminding me what
Christmas really means ♪
♪ And I
about how once upon a time,
my daddy became Santa.
And not just any Santa,
the greatest Santa of all time.
Go, Daddy! Go, go!
Are you ready for the
traffic light challenge?
Are you ready for
the traffic light challenge?
Yeah.
♪ Let's go
Go, go, go, go Vaeh!
Go, go!
Get me, get me, get me, get me!
The light is green,
get back in the car!
Keep going!
Oh, wait! We coming!
Oh, Lord!
That was fun, Daddy.
It's gon' go viral for sure!
See, I told you I could
get you beaucoup followers.
You know I'm the
original social media.
When I throw a party,
they got to call
the National Guard
to get all the people
out of my place.
Million dollar business idea,
make a repellent that
clears the club hella fast
when the party's over.
Perfect Christmas gift, Daddy!
Eh, you know, Christmas
is the biggest con of all.
Why you always say that?
That's gonna land you
on the naughty list.
Ah, you always gonna be
on Santa's nice list.
My little miracle baby.
No, don't tell the story again.
Yep, doctors always told us
we couldn't have any kids.
But after many years of
marriage, out of the blue,
we got pregnant.
We named you Nevaeh,
Heaven spelled backwards.
So where are we going today?
Uh, Horseyland.
You mean the race track.
We going to House of Games.
You mean the casino?
Um, Pockets of Fun.
You mean pool hall.
And I also know the
ballet's the strip club.
How did you know that?
I never took you there.
I've heard you talk about
it with your friends.
We can go anywhere you wanna go.
Yeah, this is Nicky.
No, I can't do that
today, I'm busy.
No, man, I'm b...
Fine, just text it to me.
Yeah, text it to me.
Dog!
I gotta, gotta make
a stop for my job.
After we're done doing that,
the whole day is yours.
You know the drill.
Lock the doors.
If anybody approaches
the car, blow the horn,
and I'll come running.
If it's an emergency...
Pepper spray in your
glove compartment.
And most importantly,
Don't tell Mommy!
Daddy, explain your job again?
Well, I guess you
can say at my job,
I'm the best BS detector out.
Not any con that I can't catch.
Remember that when you
get to become a teenager.
Know the rules, lock the door.
I'm looking for a Deshaun.
I'm his brother.
So let me guess,
he owes your boss a loan
or something like that,
and you're here
to collect, right?
But the thing is,
our bro, he's not paying.
Ever.
Now you come around here again
and I'm gonna lock your ass up.
Shut up!
First of all,
your uniform is bogus.
And what is this?
Your badge is out of date
and your gun is not
even holstered properly.
Pay me my money, Deshaun!
Give me my money now!
Okay, all right.
What the hell you think this is?
Get up, Ryker!
Come on, man.
You can't blame a guy
for trying, right?
I heard you might
stop by, Nicky.
Look man, your debt is high,
and you're still gambling, bro?
You're one to talk!
You're shackled to the
mob for the money you owe!
Okay, at least I'm
chipping away at mine.
Come on, man!
Irish Mike brags on you!
He says you see
things others can't.
Well, tell me, did
you see this coming?
Daddy!
Hey!
Officer Rogers with Child
Protective Services.
We've received reports of
your suspicious activity
and we've been gathering proof
of child abandonment, neglect.
Neglect? I'm right here.
Collecting gambling debts
and illegal activity
while your child is
under your supervision.
Not to mention the open liquor
bottles we now see in your car.
We have to take custody
of your daughter,
return her to her mom.
Please don't do this.
You'll appear before
a judge this week
where your case will be heard.
Please, ma'am, he
said he was sorry!
Can't you just give
him a break, please?
We are.
We could detain him for
illegal debt collection,
but that's another
department's job.
Listen, baby. Daddy did
something really bad this time.
So you have to go
with the lady here.
She'll be safe.
Don't worry, Daddy!
It's almost Christmas.
Good things happen at Christmas!
Bye!
♪ Oh
♪ Oh
♪ The only gift I
want this year ♪
♪ Is to feel love again,
remember that it's real ♪
Mr. Malone, where is everybody?
It's like the rapture in here.
I like to drink alone.
- Oh.
- And for you, I'll make an exception.
Oh, no thanks.
I'm, I'm not staying.
I insist.
How many times I gotta
tell you, call me Mike.
Yeah.
You know, six months
you work for me
and I don't know
anything about you.
Tell me.
What do you want to know?
You got an old lady?
Kids?
No and no.
Family.
Man, there's nothing
like it, you know?
Yeah, I know.
I mean, I can only imagine.
Can you imagine
that my business,
it's like an extended family?
You included.
Now I don't want to hurt
my family, but I will.
Debt's gotta be paid.
Ow!
Patty cake, patty
cake, baker's man.
I'll whoop your ass
as fast as I can!
Knock it off!
Nicky, did you make
the racetrack pickup?
No, I'll get it by 5 tomorrow.
Mike, remember the Timeless idea
I told you about? The business?
How could he forget?
You always yammering on
about that stupid night club.
It's an entertainment
experience.
Okay, what is something
that money can't buy?
Everybody wants and
we never get back?
- Time.
- Time.
So, imagine a place
where for a few hours,
time stands still.
Where the present meets the past
and we celebrate life
at it's highest level.
So you,
you smell the roses while you
still got the chance, huh?
- Exactly.
- Let's have a party, yeah.
And you said when I was ready,
you'd loan me the money.
So I, I have the business
plan, I have location,
all I need is the $100,000.
Oh, Nicky!
I like you!
You're my best collector,
but you don't exactly
inspire a lot of confidence.
So, uh, sorry. No.
- Hey, baby!
- Hi!
Nicky, you're late as usual.
No, we're not due
in court 'til 10.
Nine o'clock. We called you,
and your cell went
straight to voicemail.
Forgot to put it on the
charger, it went dead.
Sweetheart, Daddy and
Mommy need to have a talk.
I feel for you, Daddy!
When Mommy's neck starts
rolling and eyes start blinking,
stop, drop, tuck, and roll!
It's your only escape.
Little girl, this is
grown folk's business.
Go over there and have a seat.
I left work in Connecticut
to come over here
during our busiest season
to deal with this mess.
Liz, I was set up.
Par for the course and
your so-called job.
Courts have already ruled.
Look, it's a restraining order,
barring you from seeing
Nevaeh if I sign.
Ain't no piece of
paper 'bout to keep me
from seeing my kid.
If you fight it, they could
bring charges up against you,
which could lead to jail time.
- They reviewing this in 90 days.
- 90 days?
What about Christmas?
Liz, you not gon'
sign this, are you?
Under normal
circumstances, I wouldn't.
But, Nicky, your behavior.
You gambling and
smoking and drinking.
Your job.
It's too much.
I, I, I just need a few
days to wrap my mind
around this, okay?
Come on, Nevaeh.
Sorry.
Million dollar business idea,
find the cure for sadness,
package it, and sell
the hell out of it.
So call Irish Mike, all right?
Get you a fake union job,
court'll think it's real.
No, I don't want Irish
Mike and his goons
to know nothing
about Liz and Nevaeh.
Oh, before I forget.
Here's Irish Mike's
drop, 48,000.
To Irish Mike,
it's 50,000 a week here.
He can't loan me 100,000?
I gotta admit,
I admire his hustle.
He had the guts to
go get what he want.
That's what I'm
gonna start doing.
Listen, how much money you got?
Four yards.
I won a little bet earlier.
Give it, give it here.
Give it, give it, come on!
Call your guy down
at the racetrack,
let him know it's an emergency.
Tell him I need a,
I need a long shot.
Let him know it's gonna
be 10% for the win.
Willie, it's Joe.
Hey, I need a winner and
it's gotta be a lock.
10%, and I'll forget
what you owe me.
And it needs to be in...
White Lightning.
It's gotta be a lock!
Life and death!
There you go.
Joey, if we gonna do this,
it's gonna need to be big!
If, if, if I'm
gonna pay back Mike,
open up my club Timeless, and
be with Nevaeh for Christmas,
this has gotta be huge.
If you're thinking what
I think you're thinking,
stop thinking!
No guts,
no glory!
Believe me when I tell you, man,
gambling with mob
money is certifiable!
I can't be without my Nevaeh.
I can't do that.
It's like living without water.
And I'm more afraid of that
then Irish Mike any day.
Gimme another one.
Need it...
on White Lightning.
Is there a problem?
White Lightning!
Yes, come on, White lady!
Come on, baby!
No, no, come on,
come on, come on!
No, come on, come
on, come on, come on!
Oh...
Oh God, no. Oh.
Okay, okay, look, no, no.
This, this, this is
not a death sentence.
This is $48,000, okay?
- They're gonna kill you.
- No, no, no.
Nicky, Nicky, you gotta go, man!
- No.
- Mexico, Canada.
You gotta go, man.
You gotta, gotta go.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm, I'm his best
collector, I'm good.
H-h-he's not gonna kill me.
No, I'm good, I'm good.
That won't work.
Mr. Malone, Mike, Mike.
I was drunk and I'll do
whatever I need to do
to make it up to you.
- And then Anthony.
- Yeah.
He hits the number for 10 grand,
blows it all on a strip club.
Ours I hope, right?
Of course, of course!
It's ridiculous!
You know, 'bout Nicky.
What's going on?
Eh, Bernice from the casino
said he bet a mountain
of cash.
Didn't click who
he was until later.
Gambling with our money?
- I know.
- I mean that's beyond stupid.
Yup.
Ah, I like Nicky.
If he pays us back, he can live.
Look, he's not
gonna pay you back.
The guy drives a
old raggedy LeBaron.
If you go easy on him,
people gonna think
you're going soft.
Eh, you're right.
- I'm too nice.
- Yeah.
- That's, that's my problem.
- You want me to...
Nah, just, uh, take
him outta commission.
Mm, all right.
So, Andy's working out okay?
Yeah.
If he could stop being
stupid and try to show off.
Well, let's go Canada!
Canada, here I come.
LeBaron, it's me and
you all the way, baby.
Come on, no, no no.
No, no, no!
Come on, no!
Don't do this to me now! No!
No!
God, I can't afford a
bus ticket to Canada.
Where can I afford
a bus ticket to?
Hi!
Hi, Daddy!
Daddy needs your help.
I'm playing hide and seek
from some New York guys, okay?
I love hide and seek, fun!
All right!
This is your place
to stay for now!
Hide here.
Mommy never comes here.
Okay.
I gotta get ready for school.
See you later.
All right.
- Love you, thank you.
- Love you, too.
Bye!
- All right.
- Let's go.
- So.
- Let's go!
You have a good day.
You gonna close the door?
- Yeah.
- All right.
Be careful!
Bye.
What?
I see you, Liz.
Stanford done turned Liz into
one of the Stepford ex-wives.
Okay, that's Liz!
I see you!
I see you!
Ghost mall, zombie mall,
dead mall!
This mall has been in my
family for three generations,
I never thought we'd
get these labels!
Unfortunately, sir,
pursuing anchor stores
to lure customers in the mall
has yet to render results!
Well, we can't survive
on Mom and Pop shops.
Okay, so what are you
saying, Mr. Fairchild?
We face closure!
Unless we can turn this
around by New Year's.
FYI...
We have been in
the red for years.
Just losing it faster
than we can make it.
I have been floating
this mall on my savings.
I have been approached
by Firefly Enterprises.
The investment firm wants
to purchase the mall
and turn it into a
fulfillment center
for their internet
shopping company.
I don't want to
shut down the mall,
but I might not have a choice.
Well, the good news is, sir,
the Christmas season
brings a good sale boost.
And, we got our good luck charm.
We got the most popular
Santa in Connecticut.
Yes!
He is a local treasure and he's
been our Santa for decades.
Actually, 25 years to be exact.
Perfect!
Silver anniversary.
We can celebrate
his years as Santa!
Yes!
Make this mall a holiday
event destination.
Fairchild here.
Yes.
Yes.
What?
No! Hello?
Santa just quit!
What?
He got an offer to be
Santa at Firefly's mall
in San Francisco
for a lot more money
than we could ever
afford, we are screwed!
All right, I made some calls.
These are the available Santas.
Here we go.
Oh, he won't be driving
anyone's sleighs,
a DUI waiting to happen, next.
Ow.
Whoa!
This is Christmas...
not Halloween. Next.
Oh!
This is not Chippendale's, next!
Oh, okay! One s...
Mm-mm.
This is going from
worse to worst.
Ah...
I guess it's back to
the drawing board.
- Said it, Liz.
- I tried!
Shower.
Ooh!
Mom, hurry, I'm gonna
be late for school!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
- I, I told you...
- Please!
Just hold on! I have to...
Please, don't go in!
I forgot my briefcase!
- You're not gonna be late!
- Mom, stop!
Mommy, do not go in!
What are you doing here?
So you owe how much mob money?
$68,000.
I already owed him 20.
I did hear him say if I paid
it back, they'll let me live.
So you wanna stay here
until you get the money?
And they don't know
nothing about us?
No, Liz. I swear on us, Liz.
I mean, I swear,
they know nothing.
We have Navaeh. We cannot
put her in harm's way.
A restraining order,
now this, Nicky?
Excuse me, Mommy, Daddy.
I know you think
Dad's a bad man,
but he teaches me
good stuff, too.
Like never double
down against face card
and always split aces.
It's not that I need him to
be a good influence on me.
He needs me to be a
good influence on him.
We gotta help him.
He has no one else.
You have to do everything
I say and stay outta sight.
Yeah.
I don't do that anymore.
Okay, well, I have to
go find a new Santa
so I can keep my job.
I'll see y'all later.
And you've actually
worked with reindeer?
- Liz...
- Yes, yes, real live ones.
I want you to meet
our new Santa Claus.
This is James Evans.
He just moved here from
the south side of Chicago
with his wife, Florida,
and three children.
He has references
from former alderman,
Fred C. Davis and community
activist, Willona Woods.
I'm sure you had a lot
of good times in Chicago.
Well, hoping to make
better ones here.
Liz, this Santa Claus
is a method actor,
so he likes to stay in
character at all times.
So, in order to help
with his mystique,
I will keep his
information private,
and from now on, we will
only refer to him as Santa.
My bad!
Rules for being
Santa, "no cursing"?
"No stinky eye"?
What, "no drinking"?
- Hey!
- Hey.
We hear you only want
to be called Santa.
What about St. Nicholas,
Papa Noel, Father Christmas?
None of those.
All the greats only
go by one name.
Sade, Beyoncé,
Prince, Santa.
I'm Kourtney from
the Asian bistro.
Hey, Kourtney.
Damon, T's Teddy Town.
Hey, Damon.
So what's your deal, Santa?
This is a safe space.
Tell us your story.
My life is an open book.
Uh, North Pole, elves, yada,
yada, ya, all that stuff.
Whatever.
So this whole Santa shtick.
You like to
role-play, is that it?
Oh, is this your fetish?
- Like a furry?
- Hey, okay! So, um, this mall.
This is pretty
much like a family,
and Kourtney is
our one-stop shop
for information technology.
- Oh, like that!
- Mm-hmm.
Little Wendy Williams, what's
the hot topic on those two?
Oh, okay.
So Liz and Conrad,
or LizCon as we call them,
they've been on the brink
of an office romance,
but the gag is, they
haven't sealed the deal yet.
Oh.
I don't know why
Liz is stalling.
Conrad is a walking
thirst trap, mm!
I mean, you're acting
like he's supposed
to be the next lead on "The
Bachelor" or something.
Well, he could give
me a rose any day, mm.
Oh, he's not all that.
I'll be back, I gotta go see
a man about a reindeer, so.
Something's we're
gonna have to work on,
- but listen, what can we do?
- Okay.
Hi, Santa.
Here for the grindstone?
Uh, n-no, I, I, I wanted
to ask Liz a question,
but I didn't want
to disturb her.
Oh, well anything you can
ask her, you can ask me.
Oh.
Uh, I wanted to ask her what
key she want her hos in.
Her ho-ho-hos, 'cause you can
do it in soprano, alto, tenor...
W-w-well, indulge me.
Oh...
Ho-ho-ho
or you can go ho-ho-ho...
No, no, no.
It's all about
accentuating your hos.
- Mm-hmm.
- Tease your hos, twirl your hos.
Roll your hos.
Ho-ho-ho!
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
Ho-ho-ho-ho!
Ho-ho-ho-ho!
So, do you like low hos
or you want a high ho?
Ho-ho-ho!
I think lower is better,
don't you?
- Ho-ho-ho.
- Ho-ho-ho.
A good low ho is good.
Oh, as you can see
here on the screen,
we were renovating the mall
into a open-air
mix-use area, okay?
- Mm-hmm.
- And then, we gonna...
I'm sorry. I like, I can't
keep my eyes off you.
You know this right here,
this part right here is what
Mr. Fairchild likes most,
right here.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Let me come see you, please.
Conrad, I don't know
if it's a good time.
Nevaeh just got
back from her dad.
- Her dad?
- Yes.
The guy you were
telling me about.
Yeah.
What is, is that why
you ran off to New York?
Not exactly.
Listen.
I just need you to know
that I wanna make you happy.
What?
Hey, you do something
different to your hair?
- I like that.
- Hey!
It's nice, I like it.
A compliment from you?
Must be the Santa suit.
Wow, that's cold. Uh, yep.
Santa's Village, part kid zone,
part Christmas camp,
a place where the kids can
play while the parents shop.
Really?
What is it, condemned
or something?
Just think, $75 an hour,
plus a Christmas bonus,
is a way for you to
pay back the mob.
Go get 'em, Santa.
Okay, who first?
What you want for
Christmas, little girl?
No, you...
You can hang that up, you
ain't getting none of that!
What-what's wrong with her?
What you doing?
It... No, get her, get her!
Honey, are you okay?
Get her, take her b...
Did you just throw up on me?
What is this?
Ain't this about a...
Full disclosure,
you're a disaster.
I've seen a lot of
Santas in my day,
and frankly, you're the worst.
Okay, you just seen
me with one kid.
I'm a quick judge of character.
It doesn't matter anyway.
I don't believe in you.
Santa Claus is a
patriotical notion.
A propaganda tool used for
heteronormative dominance.
I didn't understand
nothing you just said.
- None of it.
- Erix!
Erix!
Erix, you're making me late
for my mani, pedi,
facial, and waxing!
What are you doing
in Santa's Village?
You were supposed to meet
me at the food court.
I just had a few questions
for Mr. Santa over here.
You...
are.. new...
- Santa?
- Yeah.
How did you get this job?
Is it, is it Make
A Wish Foundation?
It's just, um...
I didn't think that our
mall Santa would be so...
Hot.
So tempting.
A lot of people say
this is Phat Klein.
What you think?
Our mall used to have standards
before we got our Santas
off of the discount racks
and the FEMA lines!
Well, ho-ho-ho to you, too!
I'm going to call the
manager on you, Santa!
I already called him.
Ho-ho-ho, Karen!
- Yes?
- Liz,
customers are complaining
about the new Santa, okay?
We both know what that means.
I said he was a stand-in
until the real Santa got here,
somebody can keep this
going 'til Christmas.
Let's hope so.
Hey, baby.
Hi, Daddy.
Santa's Village was empty!
It was emptier than my wallet.
Emptier than the emptiest
bowl of emptiness.
It was terrible.
- It'll pick up, I'm sure of it.
- Yeah.
You know what Santa's
Village needs?
We need a milkshake.
A milkshake? What flavor?
No, not the dessert. The appeal.
Look, if...
If all the milkshakes
bring boys to the yard,
we need something to bring
all the kids to the village.
- Hey, guys, what are you doing?
- -Hey.
But you're the milkshake, Daddy.
You know what?
If that's the case, I gotta
get into the soul of Santa.
I gotta get under the skin.
Mommy, since it's my
last day of school
before the holidays, can I be
Santa's helper at the mall?
Please, please, please, please?
Okay, okay!
Now look, no one can
know he's your dad!
I see some things never change.
Yep.
Hey, I've been
intending to ask you,
what is it with all this
new age glow up in here?
Well, what's wrong with
me bettering myself?
Uh, you just taking this thing
to a whole 'nother level, huh?
Well, somebody has to.
Did she just come for me?
Oh, I have goals, too!
Okay, you don't get it.
Okay, look.
So. Okay, imagine.
A virtual reality
state-of-the-art facility,
where each room has
its own pop culture
that dates back a century.
There's gonna be dancing.
Like that.
There's gonna be music.
Also fashion, we gonna have
fashion up in that piece.
Oh, at our place,
we'll create a
nostalgia-induced experience
that's gonna be just for you.
At Timeless, it's always
gonna be your party.
You... just look at that.
Look at the wiggle.
Look at the wiggle,
this is at Timeless.
This is what
happens at Timeless.
Okay, okay!
All right, okay!
Daddy, you never told
me how you and Mommy
made this Timeless idea!
- Oh.
- Well...
I'm sorry, guys, I
have a conference call.
You remember the club I
told you about in Jersey.
That's "Stella's,"
named after grandma.
Yep. God rest her soul.
Yep. You know, your mom
was the main attraction.
Everybody wanted
to hear her sing.
Mommy sang?
She was amazing!
But, Daddy's mistakes
caused us to lose the club.
Yeah, I caused us
to lose everything.
But I wanna keep my
promise to Mommy.
Wish I knew more.
Nicky drank, gambled,
picked up your cash.
Other than that, he's a blank.
Understood.
Here's a donation
for your soccer team.
I was a kickass
goalie back in school.
You ever needed a team sponsor,
Paddy Kake Chiropractic
is available.
Nicky,
hope you're okay.
Why did you tell Nevaeh
about Jersey days?
We agreed that we wouldn't.
Well, I didn't wanna lie to
her and tell her anymore...
But if you're gonna
tell her the truth,
tell her the whole truth!
Did you tell her how you
gambled away our house,
- our savings, the nightclub?
- Oh.
You promised you wouldn't
be like your dad.
Okay, don't bring up my dad.
But when God blessed
us with Nevaeh,
I had to end this cycle
for her, for her sake!
I begged you, Nicky.
- Oh, you think I...
- Oh, yes I did!
You don't think I
know I messed up?
I gave you an ultimatum
to change and you didn't!
You didn't, Nicky!
And you wonder why I
don't sing anymore.
Wake up, wake up, wake up!
You wanna build a
bigger audience?
You gotta go to bed sooner!
Okay, wait a minute,
is it six of y'all?
What is going on?
It's a Santa crash course.
Image is everything
when you're Santa.
Us kids may not remember
every gift for Christmas,
but we'll never
forget our Santa.
She peed.
You gotta wrap gifts better
than Macy's gift
wrapping expert.
See?
Master the jolly
laugh, bellybutton rub,
and do it in all
different languages, hm!
Merry Christmas!
Feliz Navidad! Buon Natale!
Joyeux Noelle!
You are now ready
to work that mall!
Well, thank you, Santa sensei.
That's funny.
Liz, we gonna rock
this Christmas.
Rock Christmas?
I love that, now that's
enthusiasm, Santa.
Um, morning Santa,
how can I help you?
Uh, I just came to check in.
So, uh, I hear our
little Nevaeh here
is gonna be a Santa's
helper this year.
Yeah, um, Nevaeh is.
Uh, uh, well thank you
for coming by, Santa.
Yeah, anytime. Thank you.
Hey, hey, now you make
sure you don't break
any child labor laws working
our little Nevaeh here.
You know, I'd like to break
my foot off in his little...
Um, Nevaeh. Come on, we'll
take you to Santa's Village.
- Okay.
- I'm sure Santa would...
No, I can walk you.
We haven't caught up
anyway since New York.
Well, Conrad, you and I have
paperwork we need to discuss.
I'm sure Santa wouldn't mind
taking her, right Santa?
Right. Don't mind at all.
All right, well, ay, you make
sure you knock 'em dead, tiger.
Yeah, knock 'em dead.
Come on 'fore I bite him.
Daddy, you almost broke cover!
I know, that's so unlike me!
- You've gotta tighten up!
- Yeah.
Hey, tell me about
this dude Conrad.
I can't get a read on him,
it's just weird.
He's pretty cool.
Pretty cool?
Y'all spend much time together?
No, but I think he likes Mommy.
Does she like him?
Not sure, maybe.
Hmm, maybe. Uh, where you going?
You passed the crash course.
Now it's time to leave
the bread crumbs.
Come on!
Conrad ever been over
your house late at night?
- Come on, Daddy!
- I'm coming!
- Work with me!
- I'm coming!
It's free samples from
stores around the mall.
Mommy uses these
for promo purposes,
and we are, too!
Okay. What do you
you want me to do?
Hold this bag so I can put
the free samples in there.
Okay, free samples, wow!
- Yep!
- All right!
- Ho-ho-ho!
- Santa's Village over there!
Merry Christmas,
Merry Christmas.
Come see us at Santa's Village.
Merry Christmas, Santa's
Village over there!
Come see us at Santa's Village.
Everybody, see us
at Santa's Village
for carol, songs,
and Santa time!
Oh, look, look, kids!
Kids!
Ay, who wants to write a
letter to The North Pole?
- Come on!
- Come on.
Tell me you wouldn't
wanna make friends
with Santa's elves
in the North Pole?
I know I do!
Yes!
Why are they writing?
Wouldn't it be easier
to text it or DM it?
No!
Magic happens when you write!
It transforms into
something real.
Okay, here, you guys can take
these right on over there.
I'm circling back
vis-à-vis our last chat.
Okay, what is it with
the Santa inquisition?
Tell me about your
life on the North Pole.
Okay, have a seat, have a seat.
You wanna know about my life?
Okay, let me tell you.
Everybody wants to be Santa.
Do you know that
Frosty the Snowman
and The Little Drummer
Boy tried to take my job?
And Scrooge had an affair
with Mrs. Claus! Yes!
Jingle Bells tried
to get me caught up
in some "Me Too" scandal,
and The Ghost of Christmas Past,
Present, and Future
all held me at gunpoint,
while Dancer, Prancer,
Cupid, and Comet
all tried to take my sled.
And you know who the
ringleader was, don't you?
Yes, that's right, Rudolph
with his shiny nose.
And don't get me started
what The Nutcracker
tried to do to me!
Yeah, right!
Sure, Santa!
No!
Oh, no!
No, no, no, no!
I take it you got that alert.
Our mall is getting skewered
all over the Internet!
Our rating has fallen
from a 3.9 to a 1 in one day!
Bad-mouthing the business on
the Internet is one thing,
but a slander campaign, come on,
that's something else.
And their biggest issue
seems to be new Santa!
I just need us to break even
before the New Year, or, or...
Keeping the mall alive
just doesn't make sense,
and now, we may have to
get rid of new Santa.
I hate to say it, he's right.
Well, I just got a
text from my lawyer.
They spoke with the
review site who agreed
that a rate fall that fast
goes against any algorithm.
Well, even if it's
not Santa's fault,
we cannot afford to
tarnish our brand.
Well, with all due respect, sir,
what we can't afford is
to allow outside forces
to control us.
If we give into the
Internet trolls,
the corporate wolves
would eat us alive!
The reviews should
be down in 48 hours.
Hey, I support you guys 100%.
Thank you.
I thought that when I grew up,
I would become a gallerist.
Artist, bourgeoisie.
So what happened?
My father passed away.
Mall fell on my
shoulders, end of story.
Well, I had dreams, too.
I, I was a lounge singer,
if you can believe that.
Really?
I never would've caught that.
Hmm.
If you don't mind
me asking, sir,
h-how did your marriage survive
trading dreams for careers?
Mines couldn't.
Well, it wasn't easy.
Got ugly at times,
but we had to
redefine happiness.
Find the beauty in the struggle.
- Touchdown, yes!
- Yes, yes!
We gon' beat them!
- Score!
- Yes!
Ooh, so who's winning,
what's the spread?
- New York, plus seven points!
- All right!
Let's go, baby, let's go, baby!
Come on, Big Blue,
come on, Big Blue!
Woo-hoo!
Yes!
Liz, I know you all
enlightened and stuff,
but why won't you let us put
some real Christmas
decorations up?
O-or is that gonna
mess with your chi?
What are you talking about?
This house is decorated!
Girl, look at that tree!
That ain't no real decoration.
My tree looks good!
Look like a Charlie
Brown Christmas.
Oh!
That thing catch on
fire if your spark that.
That ain't no real tree.
Come on, let us, let us
lighten the place up.
Come on, let us slay
this house, right?
We gon' slay this house!
- We gon' slay this house!
- We gon' slay this house!
Woo! We gon' slay this house!
Woo!
Searched the
burroughs, no Nicky.
My contact hasn't been able to
track the cell phone, either.
So what do you wanna do next?
Up the bounty to 20k.
Okay.
What is it with this mall?
Low morale, lackluster
salesmen, bad advertising.
It's a retail apocalypse.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, I agree,
but unfortunately,
it's been that way.
Well, it don't have
to stay that way.
I can turn this place around.
The Donald may have
the art of the deal,
but I have the
art of the hustle.
Well, I'm willing
to try anything,
'cause if this mall shuts down,
unemployment lines are
not a good journey for me.
Yeah, but you would have
to run any strategic ideas
by mall management and...
Cuffing season for
the almost lovers.
Can you feel the
heat from here? Woo!
Sure, whatever.
Let me tell you how the
360 mall reboot plan
will work, okay?
I'll be back in a sec.
I created the plan.
I know, I know, and it was a
great little plan in theory.
But you know, in the
real world, you know,
theory has to be
put into practice.
- I'll say.
- Yeah.
Can I speak with
you for a second?
- Oh.
- Uh, we're having lunch.
Can it wait?
Just one second.
Why are you letting him
mansplain you like that?
Being all condescending?
You wouldn't have
never let me get away
with that back in the day.
It's not back in the day
and you don't know him.
He is my biggest
support in this mall.
So mind your business, Nicky!
Mind my business?
- Everything okay?
- Yeah, it's fine.
Okay.
So yeah, as I, as I w...
I have a few mall
improvement ideas.
That's cute, Santa, but uh,
I think mall improvements
are a little bit
above your pay grade.
I was talking to Liz.
It's Ms. Cole.
And, uh, the next time
that I need my time
or my meeting
needlessly interrupted,
I'll be sure to call you.
Thanks, Santa.
- This m... He don't know...
- Would you...
Thank you, Santa.
Looks like you caught a
fade from Prince Conrad.
Straight canceled!
Listen, Conrad is a butthole
in all caps.
Everyone here has a
nightmare Conrad story.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's like
some type of right of
passage or something.
Conrad is a whole snack,
but he is too extra
in all the wrong ways.
Oh, you've been summoned, Kourt.
That's the third time
today he's sent back food!
What a idiot!
We're a buffet, Conrad,
which means we
don't cook to order.
He's got some nerve!
I think Conrad needs a little
something extra in his food.
Here.
There.
- Oh, that oughta get it!
- Yeah.
A little bit more.
Oh, okay.
Uh, for the homies!
Mm!
Bon appetit!
Ah, merci beaucoup, mon amie!
Thank you so much.
Ah, magnifique!
So uh, where were we?
You were just agreeing
with my data analysis,
but disagreeing
at the same time.
Before that.
You were telling me
to trust your opinion,
even if I had prior
knowledge to the contrary.
- Before that.
- Conrad!
I was telling you how
beautiful you are.
Well, thanks!
Mm-hmm. It's the truth.
- Is it better?
- Mm-hmm! Much better!
Here we go. We got action.
What?
What is it? You okay?
What, what is it?
We got a splatter!
Oh, my God!
Ay, forget about
mall management, eh?
Forget it!
I always knew he was full
of shh... Shut your mouth!
Santa, teach us the art
of the hustle, ASAP.
- That part!
- Yeah.
You ready?
Don't matter where you're from,
everybody's buying or selling.
If you can find out
what a person want,
they'll buy anything
you're selling.
Most people base their
choices on five emotions.
Greed...
lust,
compassion,
vanity
and desperation.
Customers, they're your marks.
Salespeople are your grifters.
Co-workers, shields.
These are your steps.
Step one is debate.
Find out what the marks want.
Step two is your hook.
Attach what they want
with what you're selling.
Step three is the real.
Gain their trust
and seal the deal.
You got it?
Let the con games begin.
Hey!
- Hey!
- Hey.
My first paycheck!
I asked Mr. Fairchild to
pay me in cash and he did.
So why are you giving it to me?
'Cause I had a hard time
helping you with child support.
You never asked.
So, I wanted to
make it up to you.
You should be using this
to pay back the mob.
Nah, making amends with
you is much more important.
And it's legitimate
cash for a change.
You know what?
I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll put this toward the
free-Nicky-from-the-mob fund.
Okay, let me see your
360 mall reboot plan.
I heard you talking about it.
You really wanna know?
I always wanna know what's
going on in your head.
- Oh, okay. All right, let me show you. Here it is.
- Okay.
♪ Hey, jingle bells,
jingle bells ♪
- ♪ Jingle all the way
- Come on!
- Yes!
- ♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
♪ In a one horse open sleigh
Go Santa's helpers, yes!
Ho-ho-ho-ho!
Santa, you are really
invigorating these children.
What's your secret?
Uh, my cousin Lavita
Alizé Jenkins works
for the school system,
and she and her
brother, Duracell,
are teaching me the ropes.
- Your life is so colorful!
- Well, you know.
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
♪ Jingle all the
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
♪ In a one horse open
♪ sleigh
Oh!
So why didn't you join us?
If I do walk about,
it has to be substantive.
Like a spiritual soldiering
or a morning constitutional.
Okay.
Daddy, what's wrong?
The kids are happy.
You're doing great
with the mall workers.
Using your naughty skills
for something nice.
Yeah, but Erix makes
the Santa's Village
look like a jail sentence!
If you can teach the mall
workers the magic of the hustle,
why can't you give
some magic to Erix?
You know what?
You're right, you're right!
Erix!
Come here!
I wanna make you Santa's
helper along with Nevaeh.
How much does it pay per hour?
No pay?
Why do you do it, Nevaeh?
'Cause she's a Santa's
helper, she volunteers!
Yes, but her mom works here.
Well, just consider
it community service.
Can I at least get a certificate
to put in my college
application folder?
Do you have this shirt
in a Oxford button-down
or polo style?
People are talking!
There's whispers out there
that Nicky robbed me!
That I got fleeced by a drunk!
Told you!
If you don't take this guy out,
street's gonna think
you're going soft.
You forget about taking
on a commission, hmm?
You tell all the bounties
from Vegas to Atlantic City,
I want Nicky dead! Dead!
Ah, dammit!
Got your coat, have a seat.
Go ahead, I got it.
Okay, okay.
No fever. Are you okay?
- No, I'm fine.
- Oh.
- Have, have a seat.
- Okay, okay, okay!
Parenting is about
meeting halfway.
So, I made something
healthy for you
and slap-your-mama-good for me.
Okay!
All right!
I call it Vegan Soul Food.
- Oh, okay.
- Let's pray.
Lord, thank you for the
food we're about to receive,
in Jesus's name, amen.
- Amen.
- Amen.
So, uh...
Dig in.
- All right, come on, come on.
- What's the surprise?
No, keep coming, keep
coming, keep coming!
- You'll see!
- You'll see!
Right there, right there!
Okay, you'll see
in 5... 4...
3... 2... 1...
go!
Now that's Christmas
right there!
Take it all in, Liz!
Surprise!
- You like that, don't you?
- Okay!
I know exactly what I
want Santa to leave me
- under this tree!
- What's that, baby girl?
More than anything,
I want Santa to bring me
a doll that looks like me!
Oh, cool!
I know you into this
Christmas spirit.
Right, right.
Only thing we need now.
Who's that singing?
That's Mommy.
Mommy, come back!
- Come on!
- Okay.
Mommy, your voice,
it's everything!
Well, thank you, sweetheart!
Hey, help me finish the tree.
Okay, okay.
Nicky, Nicky!
Nicky!
What is it with the
women around here
to keep waking me up?
What is it?
Wake up!
Oh, this is about me
playing the music, right?
Yes.
Why did you do that?
Look, I don't,
I don't want you to keep
letting my past mistakes
keep you from singing.
If you never sing again, you'll
always be a star in my eye.
That's the thing, Nicky.
You see potential in
everything and everybody else,
but not yourself.
It's the way I was raised.
My daddy didn't see me as
a son, he saw me as a con.
A kid with my skills, we
swindled our way through Jersey
like a hot knife through butter.
There was a price to pay.
My childhood.
It's always been off limits
talking about your dad.
What changed?
Being Santa.
It brought back
so many memories.
You know, we had
our biggest score
during the holiday season.
My dad say, "Christmas is
the biggest con of all."
We were so busy hustling
that we never
celebrated the holidays.
Then my mom, on the other hand,
she, she really wanted
something different for me.
I tried so hard not
to be like that man.
But here I am.
You're not like him.
You a dreamer.
Not a schemer.
Then why do I feel like
I've, I've lost so much
of myself along the way?
I just feel like I've lost me.
Say, dude, watch
where you going!
Ay, man, you got tissue every...
Nevermind.
I can't believe this!
Who would?
Huh, I think I seen who did
this, but he's gone now!
You think you can give a
description to mall security?
- Yes.
- Great!
You know, I don't
believe in coincidence.
Think someone's
trying to get us.
Yeah, I agree.
- Come on, Liz, I got an idea.
- Okay.
Well, you help Santa, okay?
Mr. Fairchild, look, we'll
have this place cleaned up
so fresh and so clean,
just like my Santa suit.
- Bless you, Santa.
- Mm-hmm.
How do you keep your Santa
suit so fresh and clean?
Oh, I only take my clothes
to Jefferson Cleaners.
Ran by George and
Weezy Jefferson.
Must make a note of that.
George and Weezy.
How do you spell Weezy? Two Es?
- Two Es, yes.
- Weezy.
You know, Santa's
on the marquee.
The spotlight needs to be on me.
But if you put Santa on blast,
it might get you
spotted by the mob.
Yeah, but I've tried the
suburban Santa stuff.
That's not working for me.
My soul's just not in it.
If I'm gonna do this,
I need to do it my way.
Santa...
- needs some...
- soul!
♪ Hit it
Go, Santa! Go, Santa!
Go, Santa!
Ay!
Go, Santa!
Go, go, go, go!
Come one, come all!
See the greatest show
in the North Pole!
Santa's Village
reopens in 24 hours!
Come see me!
Nicky, this is not a nightclub!
I mean, we can't take
vandalism and you.
Okay, well, uh...
About that impromptu
Santa show I just saw
on the monitors.
Sir, let me explain.
Yes, please explain
the exciting surprise.
What?
It was a jolt!
And a great distraction
from the vandalism!
And it was all Liz's idea.
Oh, well, with ideas like that,
you will be getting a promotion
as long as the
mall stays afloat.
I don't know what to say.
Oh, Liz is being modest.
She already had a plan to
revamp Santa's Village,
making it the hippest
trip in America.
Bravo! To you both, but, you,
where did you get those moves?
Oh, I learned the
dance from my homies,
Raj, Rerun, Dwayne,
and The Fly Girls.
"What's Happening"
is when I dance,
it's all in "Living Color".
You are such a
visual artist!
- Well, that I am!
- Hmm!
♪ Uh
♪ God
♪ Haha
♪ Good
♪ Good God
♪ Ah
♪ Yeah
Squad goals? Santa squad goals!
What does Firefly Enterprise
have that we don't have?
A dope ass mall.
But we have dope people.
We have a goldmine right here!
Pickings look slim to me, Santa.
Well, it's not about pizzazz.
Instead of having everybody
just sit on Santa's lap,
I say we get everybody
involved in on the action.
I'm gonna do Santa like I seen
growing up as a little boy.
I'm gonna be Soul Santa!
Soul Santa?
That's a whole mood!
It will be as soon as Erix
shares his musical talents
with us.
What are you talking about,
Santa?
You play an instrument.
How could you
possibly know that?
'Cause I'm Santa.
Come on!
I demand an explanation!
I did not approve my
son as a Santa's helper!
What? Oh, wait a minute!
What... Are y'all seeing this?
Are, are you seeing this?
Yes!
Oh, my... You, you don't see it?
You are absolutely perfect!
Yas! Hunty, yas-uh!
You are so quiche!
I am?
Yes!
I mean, yes!
I know!
And we would be honored
if you would share your
impeccable style with us.
Tell me more!
Need I say more?
S-spin, let me see the spin.
Ho-ho-ho!
Yes!
Let the glitter... Oh, ho-ho!
Welcome!
Yes, it's true!
Of all the people
in this mall...
Hey, Brenda!
I was chosen
to welcome you!
Now, New York may
have the Met Gala,
but the Sunshine
Mall has the all-new
Santa's Village!
All right, party people!
Who's ready to get
their Christmas on?
Okay, Santa! Come
all the way through!
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
I'm about to put some soul
into Soul Santa's Village!
Yes, boy!
Uh, low-key, high-key, this
audience is light as a mother.
Uh, y-y-you think more
people are coming?
If I built it, they will come.
Watch me party.
Step back and watch me work!
♪ Uh, when I say
Santa, you say Claus ♪
- ♪ Santa!
- Claus!
- ♪ Santa!
- Claus!
- Okay.
- Claus!
It's obvious we have a little
learning curve here, okay?
So, these are the rules
for the new Santa Village.
There will be no
wallflowers, you got it?
No wallflowers!
Now take a deep breath,
leave your egos at the door,
let your hair down.
So are you ready to party?
♪ When I say Santa,
you say Claus ♪
- ♪ Santa - Claus!
- ♪ Santa - Claus!
♪ When I say Merry,
you say Christmas ♪
- ♪ Merry - Christmas!
- ♪ Merry - Christmas!
♪ When I say Hanu-,
you say -kkah ♪
- ♪ Hanu... kkah!
- ♪ Hanu... kkah!
♪ When I say Kwan-,
you say -zaa ♪
- ♪ Kwan... zaa!
- ♪ Kwan... zaa!
Yeah, boy!
Okay, why does Santa
need an umbrella?
For the rain, dear!
Yeah!
Pass me my knife,
'cause I'm cutting 'em!
Yes, Lord, I'm cutting 'em.
And Joker, nobody
can beat that one!
Nobody can beat...
And, uh, on you! I got fire
in these hands, baby, fire!
But what card do I have...
Santa?
Ah!
No, w-we'll work on that.
Throw the bones, throw the bone!
Fried chicken and cornbread
keep a poor man fed.
Yeah.
G-good job on that
revamp, Santa.
Yeah.
Daddy shoots outtie, uh!
Ooh, okay, okay!
Nice, but no seriously, though.
You really came
through this season.
You may have saved the
mall, my job, and...
Liz's.
I better pay attention.
You know, miracles
happen at Christmas.
You know, it's funny you
should say that, Santa.
'Cause I think I found
a miracle in Liz.
She's a great one.
Everything I ever ask for.
Uh, boat 'em!
Okay!
Oh!
And Nevaeh?
She is the sweetest
kid, I swear.
Ooh!
I think I found my family,
though, Santa.
They're amazing.
And her ex?
Some kind of degenerate,
gambling low-life, I don't know.
Somewhere in her heart, I think
she's holding out for him,
but her mind knows better.
Three piece. Hold the biscuit.
It's an earthquake!
Domino!
Hey! Better luck next time!
That's my son!
Put some stank on it, son,
put some stank on it.
- Great job!
- Oh!
- Sure, sure.
- Yeah, sure!
- Yeah!
- Thank you!
Merry Christmas!
- Merry Christmas!
- Bye!
Thank you, Soul Santa!
Thank you, soul brother!
Um...
You haven't won me
over yet, Santa,
but this is a moral victory.
- We won her over.
- Yup!
You're Santa now, really Santa.
Sure, sure!
Ay, yo! Come here!
You gotta look at this,
it's hilarious!
Look at that!
Enough fun and games.
Raise the hit on Nicky to 40k.
Yeah.
Uh...
What is this called?
It's a grounding technique.
Focusing on the here and now.
Okay.
Can we talk about
the here and now?
Grounding works best in silence,
but words can't be therapeutic.
Uh...
Being here has
brought back feelings.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Breathe through it.
It's, it's brought back
feelings for me that I thought...
Self-soothe, be aware.
Speak truth.
Well, that ends the session.
Gotta get ready to meet Conrad.
Conrad?
Yeah, we're going to dinner.
As the young people say now,
we're Instagram official!
This about a... Conrad.
It's okay, Daddy. Don't give up.
- Stop lying on Conrad!
- Lying?
I seen old boy booed up, booed
up with the cosmetic chick.
Nicky, stop throwing
shade on my joy!
What?
Oh, man!
I do not act like my mother!
That hurt my feelings.
You...
You're patronizing me!
You're right, I am trying
to work on my weight
and smile more!
I am here looking for something
pretty to wear for you!
Was that hubby?
What's it to you?
Mind if I offer my two cents?
No.
What?
What is it?
It seems as if hubby treats
you like a possession.
So to balance it all,
you come to the mall and
buy all these things.
But you're not gonna
find what you need.
Which is?
I don't know,
that's for you to answer.
But it is something
that money can't buy.
Well...
Hey, hey, Phil.
Look what I did.
I told you, I'm a stable genius.
Get it?
Just wheel him in.
Good job!
We have had some
unsettling news.
An unknown source has revealed
that you have been giving
our workers con job training.
Et tu, Santa?
Say it isn't so.
This is a con-spiracy.
Did I impart wisdom
into the staff?
Yes!
Have you seen an increase
in sales due to it?
Yes!
Enough said.
Uh, he's right.
Uh, sales are well, and the
products are legitimate,
so marketing could be creative.
I am not comfortable with this!
If it gets out,
we could be flagged by the
Better Business Bureau. Or worse.
But we are so close
to breaking even!
Just no more cons!
Right?
No.
- No?
- Right.
Yes.
- No.
- No meaning yes.
- All right.
- In a positive way.
- Good.
- Yes, no.
What were you thinking?
Conning at my place of business?
Well, I was thinking about you.
- Me?
- Yes, you!
Thinking about your job,
thinking about this mall!
I would do anything for
you because I love you.
That's what I was trying to say.
Nicky,
I will always care about you.
I didn't say care.
I said, I love...
No, Nicky!
Cannot go down this road again.
It's just best
that we be friends.
- Friends?
- Yes.
Well, I don't wanna be friends.
Yeah, I'll get that back to you.
Everything okay out here?
It's fine.
Yeah, we good.
Just having a conversation
with my friend.
Oh, dear.
You never look so worrisome.
What, was it the coup
d'etat in my office?
No, I just got a lot on my mind.
You need an outlet.
What do you do for fun?
I usually cleanse myself in
the waters of Lake Minnetonka.
Oh.
Well that sounds
so fun, so fine.
You ever feel like
you've missed your shot?
All the time.
Like with our
Christmas marketing,
we're doing good, but
we're missing something
to tip the scale.
The revamp Santa's Village
is doing wonderful!
It's growing bigger
and bigger every day.
What you need to
do on Christmas Eve
is throw a huge party!
Big party!
That will give you the
audience that you need.
Christmas Eve is
three days away.
Oh, that's plenty of time.
It'll be Santa's
Village on steroids!
- Really?
- Yes!
This tree is gonna be so pretty!
So pretty!
Christmas Eve experience.
So you want to pimp the
house out, Christmas style?
It's my turn.
Go, go ahead.
- Come on, Daddy!
- Come on, Nicky!
Join the fun!
We could do it together.
Okay.
Christmas Eve experience.
Just grab something
outta the box.
Okay.
I'll get a...
What if I do a bow?
Yes, that sounds good!
I'ma put it right in
the center right there.
Bam!
Look at that!
The Christmas Eve event
is going to be a blowout!
So please, check your inboxes
because we're integrating all
of your products and services
into the event that night.
Isn't that wonderful?
Yeah, I know it is.
I know it is.
And everything that
the customers will see
when they come in is
going to be for sale.
So...
Conrad is my man, not yours.
What?
Here he is!
In my bed after we've taken
real good care of each other.
But the trees and
all the good stuff.
So we'll have trees and you
can have your fragrances.
- Mm-hmm!
- And, you know,
all your lingerie
line and everything.
Hey!
The makeup counter lady
with the bad lace front
just bumrushed Liz!
What?
I'll be back.
Excuse me.
- Conrad!
- What's up?
Your chick, Tiffany in
cosmetics, just approached me
and said you slept with her!
Come on, Liz, you
know that's not true.
Don't lie, Conrad!
She just showed me pictures of
you in the throes of it all.
- So?
- So?
Listen, I don't do drama, okay?
So if you want to be with me,
you better act like it!
Man,
I ain't got to deal with this...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- You better get your hands off of me!
Listen, you don't
walk away from...
- Hey!
- Would you let me go?
Did I do that?
Oh, dear!
You saw what he did! He hit me!
I'm going to HR,
he should be fired!
- And you?
- Me?
You were rough
with Liz, horrible!
And after today's drama,
several women have reported your
torrid relations around the mall!
E-e-everything that I've done
here has been consensual.
It will be an internal
investigation into all allegations.
Investigation?
That's right.
I'ma ask you one more time!
I told you, I don't
know a Conrad!
Stop lying, he gave
you an envelope!
I know he gave...
I'm keeping this.
I'm not saying another word.
Oh, you not?
Okay, okay, okay!
I'll tell you everything,
I'll tell you everything.
Yeah, no reward.
It's the wrong car.
Hey!
Man, what you doing here?
Heard you talked to my
connect this morning.
You know something about me,
now I know something about you.
You don't know nothing about me.
Ah, you're the
deadbeat ex-husband.
My tech guy's got
your pictures, okay.
Nicky Cole.
Huh, you've been a naughty boy.
Problems on both sides
of the law, I see.
And the mob's looking for you.
- Mm, mm, mm.
- I guess it's true.
The only kinda con can't
catch is another con.
What you want?
Not our mutual destruction.
And how do we prevent that?
Well, I don't call the mob,
and you help us out.
Help you how?
Firefly saw your
little Santa Claus seg.
They want you to
host their gala.
They're gonna broadcast
you around their malls
all across the country.
Okay, man, you know
that's the same night
as the Christmas Eve event.
If I don't show up,
it's gonna be a disaster.
Exactly.
And you can't warn anyone,
but the best part is we pay.
Nice to meet you, Nicky Cole.
I talked to Willie
at the stables.
He said he tipped
you off the day
that Nicky lost all that money.
And he also said you're
Nicky's Jersey homeboy.
You got me, Paddy Kakes.
Ah! Come on, man!
You lied last time!
It won't happen again!
Where's Nicky's daughter?
Kid's mom took her
to Hawaii, man!
No.
You're lying again!
So now,
I'm prescribing a
musculoskeletal basic procedure.
- No, man, no!
- Without anesthesia.
Oh, damn!
Stanford, Connecticut.
Don't do this, man.
Come on, Paddy Kakes.
Well, now I gotta make sure
you don't call anybody.
No, man! Come on,
don't do this, man!
Come on!
Hurry up, Nicky,
and get dressed.
- We'll meet you there.
- Mm-hmm.
- Be on Santa time, not CP time.
- I hear you.
All right.
In my neighborhood, we
had a special tradition.
- Really?
- Yes!
We sure did!
We always gave the kids one gift
on Christmas Eve from Santa.
Can we do that tradition?
- Yes!
- Sure!
- Look!
- Gotcha!
Mommy, Daddy, look
what Santa brought me!
Just what I wanted!
Oh!
These fresh dolls are
positively perfect!
They look just like me!
- She does!
- Yeah!
Okay, you guys better get going.
Okay.
We'll be waiting for
you at Santa's Village!
Okay, baby, lady.
Bye, Daddy!
- Bye-bye.
- Great job!
Oh!
- Okay.
- Bye!
- Bye-bye!
- Bye!
Can't wait!
Be careful!
Where's Santa? He's late.
Have you called your dad?
Keeps going to voicemail.
A no-show Santa will be chaos!
I should've sold
this mall to Firefly!
They decreased their offer.
Before long, I'll be belly up!
Uh, I made a mistake,
I put in the wrong address.
I don't need to go
to Firefly Mall.
Take me to Sunshine Mall,
step on it!
Ho to the ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
I'm here, I'm here!
This is my husband, Bill,
and these are his
friends from work.
They came to see the show.
These bags aren't mine.
We are buying gifts
for the needy.
Um, I, I don't usually,
um, eat crow,
but here goes.
I am so sorry
I judged you, Santa.
Thank you for saving my family.
Ho-ho-ho-ho!
I still don't believe
in Santa Claus,
but I do believe in you.
Well, I got to get
this party started.
Ho-ho-ho-ho!
Let's get this
Santa party started!
Y'all ready?
Okay!
♪ When I say Christmas,
you say Eve ♪
- ♪ Christmas - Eve!
- ♪ Christmas - Eve!
- ♪ Christmas - Eve!
All right, all right!
Well, thank you all for coming.
It's Christmas Eve, of course.
And I want to let you
all know that tonight,
all of the stores in the mall
are gonna be open extra late,
just for you, okay?
So get ready for a
night full of surprises!
Are you ready for the surprises?
Yes!
Speaking of surprises,
I have one that's
going to be a doozy.
Santa is a fake.
He's a liar and a crook.
His real name
is Nicky Cole,
ex-husband of Liz Cole.
Well, what are his crimes,
you ask?
Illegal gambling,
loansharking, racketeering,
and most importantly,
swindling each and
every one of you here.
Even his own wife and daughter.
He's a pathetic little conman.
Go ahead, Santa.
What do you have to
say for yourself?
Everything you said is true.
That's who I was,
but that's not who I am anymore.
And I used to think Christmas
was the biggest con of all.
I seen Christmas through
all of your eyes.
I now see that a mall is
more than its stores.
It's relationships,
it's community.
I-it's not the building.
It's the people inside
that you connect with.
It's a place where you can,
you can come and find love.
Place where you can
come and find compassion
and understanding.
It's a place where you can
find the meaning of life.
That's timeless, and the
person who's really trying
to destroy Sunshine
Mall is Conrad.
That's absurd!
No, it's not!
Conrad is helping
Firefly Enterprises
to sabotage the mall...
to force Fairchild to cave,
and sell this property to them!
Corporate spying is a...
It's a federal offense!
You and Firefly will be
hearing from our lawyers!
You're fired, get to stepping!
Get him out of our mall!
Got you! Let's go!
Wait, what are you doing?
Give me that back!
Get your hands off of me!
I'm Conrad Biles for God sake!
In a world that tries to
divide us by technology,
it's good to know
that we have a place
that we can all still
come and gather.
This is my Christmas wish,
save Sunshine Mall!
Save Sunshine Mall!
Save Sunshine Mall!
Save Sunshine Mall!
Save Sunshine Mall!
Save Sunshine Mall!
Save Sunshine Mall!
Save Sunshine Mall!
Save Sunshine Mall!
Save Sunshine Mall!
- Save Sunshine Mall!
- Let's all give
a big hand to our Soul Santa!
Thank you, thank you, Santa!
Thank you!
I enjoyed the
Christmas show, Nicky.
Too bad you won't see it end.
- Look, I'm sorry...
- Too late for apologies, Nicky.
I'm going to turn you into
the new skeleton in my office.
Filet-a-Santa style.
Mr. Malone, I just need a
little time, I'll pay you back.
Got the dough?
I had an offer for $100,000
but I would've had
to sell my soul.
Saved your soul as you
lose your life, huh?
- Get off me!
- Santa!
Honey, Santa needs our help!
Santa!
Y'all better let go
of Santa right now
before I throw hands,
and that's on period!
Thank you so much for coming,
I hope you're
enjoying yourselves.
Liz, Liz!
- E-e-excuse me. Yes?
- Good news!
I just heard from my accountant.
We met our goal,
the mall can stay open!
Oh!
Thank you so much for coming!
Thank you so much!
Congratulations, but...
Before we celebrate, there's
something else I need to say.
Nicky, what are you doing?
I didn't get a chance to
apologize to everybody.
Especially you two.
I just wanna let you
know that I apologize
for all the hurt and
pain that I've caused.
Being here with you
and everybody else is,
is truly a miracle for me.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
♪ Family's here filled with
cheer, finding the perfect gift ♪
♪ Running around, you hear the
sound of loved ones you miss ♪
♪ Reminding me what
♪ Christmas really means
♪ And I still believe
♪ Feel it in the air,
love is everywhere ♪
♪ Every moment shared
♪ That's what
♪ Christmas
♪ Means
♪ Yeah
♪ It really means
♪ Caroling everywhere, bringing
the tidings, can you hear ♪
♪ Can you see it, the unity
♪ It's the best time of year
♪ It's reminding me
♪ What Christmas really means
♪ And I still believe
♪ Yeah, feel it in the air
♪ Love is everywhere
♪ Every moment shared
♪ Is what Christmas
really means ♪
♪ And I hope you know
♪ Wherever you go
♪ This love will come home
♪ That's what Christmas
♪ Means ♪
Look, Daddy, it's Christmas!
Yes!
I wish we could do
this all year long.
This is a truly timeless event.
Mr. Fairchild, w-we might
have something for you.
See, Nicky!
Miracles do happen,
my Soul Santa!
♪ And a happiness
♪ Love is everywhere
♪ Every moment shared
♪ Every moment shared
♪ And that's what
Christmas really means ♪
♪ And I hope you know
wherever you go ♪
♪ This love will follow
♪ That's what
Christmas means, yeah ♪
And that was
my Christmas miracle.
Mommy fell back in
love with Daddy,
Daddy helped Mommy
save the mall,
Mr. Fairchild hired Daddy
to keep Santa's Timeless
Village Nightclub
open year round,
and me,
I'm still Santa's little helper.
Merry Christmas to all,
and to all, a goodnight!
♪ Christmas
♪ Means
Merry Christmas, everybody!
♪ Yeah
♪ It really means
♪ Caroling everywhere, bringing
the tidings, can you hear ♪
♪ Can you see it, the unity
♪ It's the best time of year
♪ It's reminding me what
Christmas really means ♪
♪ And I