Sorry Guys (2014) - full transcript
Stop here
I can't go like this
I can't go when you're just there
So where do you want me to go?
I don't know
Just go back! JESUS!
Will you stop staring?!
I don't believe it!
How insensitive can he be? Incredible
Holy crap!
You pig!
Stop!
Stop!
If I was a bird I would shit on your head
Stop this shit
Let go!
this one is digital
There. Deleted
Can you see?
No. Don't do that again, shorty!
You said you'd call
I left loads of messages
We thought you weren't coming!
I said I would, didn't I?
Yeah, but nothing is prepared now
What do you need to prepare?
Ulfy!
My brother Louis
Louis, this is Ulfy
Ulfy...
Ulf!
What?
I can't carry all this stuff
Bloody hell!
There's a road?
Sorry, Ulf. I didn't know
It's not on the map
It's a hidden road
Well, look who's here
one-nil!
Don't get dressed for me
We'll save it till later
I'm Robert
Oh bugger
I could have driven down here
Now that's really enough
They even have storks here
Storks
Ok
Where are you going?
Don't look like that. I told you she'd come.
Who is that dude?
Don't know
Has she told him?
Don't worry! It's gonna happen
Great start
Maybe we should think again
Sorry she's causing all this trouble
But you gotta let her get close to you
He's just getting the van
needs his tools
Stop posing! He doesn't like it!
What does he know?
It's a tolerant society! He'll get over it.
Who's this dude anyways?
Ulfy genuinely loves me.
Got a problem with that?
Fact: you're together
he wants to be here? Okay
2nd fact: he didn't know about us
So in fact he doesn't know anything
Svenja
Oh no
What?
I thought we could all tell him together
It's beer o'clock
"Hey Ulf!
later Svenja and Robert are gonna make a baby!"
If you say it like that anything sounds crap
Got one for me?
Let's all calm down
You tell him and then we'll see
It doesn't have to be this month
Yes, it does!
I'll be on a cruise ship...
...as an entertaineress
As an entertainer?
That's what I said
What ship? When?
In May
baby has to be out by then
your call
either we do it today or we leave it
And if it doesn't work the first time?
We'd like to have a baby
the two of us
Robert and I would like to have a baby
For a long time
And it's not that easy for us
as we are
gay
as we are two men
and that's why, basically, physically, why we can't have one.
and that's why
I'll do it
We don't mean
through sexual intercourse.
The whole thing is done with
it happens via
self-impregnation.
Self-impregnation
You fancy her?
She's your sister
I don't mean that
She's different
From me?
From the usual
Her English
foul
I can already picture my mum
she'd hate that
What about your mum?
We'll probably bump into her at some point
Well, I still haven't met your mother
You'll be having a baby so it will be yours
I just don't get it
As surrogate mother
Jesus, what's so difficult to understand?
Tell'em to get a dog!
Seriously, enough is enough
Enough?
You've got a daughter
You're married
and together with me
What does that have to do with this?
Louis wants to be happy
Just like you
Because it sucks not having a family
and that's why he needs me now
But we can also be happy
Just quit the job at the club!
We'll get our own place
a fresh start
together
Do you think that'll work?
A pregnancy will change you
you'll wanna keep it in the end
It won't work anyways
We can still ask somebody else
Why do you say that?
Stop running her down
Why are you defending her all the time?
This is about me too
She's carrying it, it's about her
and then it's about the child
They will bond
regardless if she's raising it
We agreed!
Yes we did
Are you being paid?
No
They bought you
that's why you're doing this
I said I didn't want money
But I won't be working. What can I do?
How much?
Robert's parents
have oil paintings
of each member of the family
in golden frames
understand?
Just marry the queer!
Know what you are? Homophobic!
Forget the cock suckers, this is about us!
I'm entitled to my opinion!
And what IS your opinion?
What the fuck am I doing here?
You're a part of it!
a part of me
So how will this actually work?
I mean...
... you're not gonna...
...well...
...that wouldn't work, would it?
Well...
...Robert is bi...
...not gay...
...that's different.
You're gonna fuck him?
Don't loose sight of what it is
I don't want this!
We'll do it unemotionally
Come on, it's not like a striptease
Of course it's gonna be emotional
I feel odd
The thing with the cruise ship
something's wrong
Come on, Ulfy
Robert is healthy
we're not shagging
it's done with a syringe
Why with me?
Why not?
I don't want her to ruin everything
I won't let that happen
It's starting
The glasses!
It's happening!
Come on
That's enough now isn't it?
Enough? Do you even know what that means?
You shouldn't underestimate me
Why? Because of your gorgeous large ego?
No, reset! You pig!
What?
Would you mind just having a look?
If it helps
Yes, it does help
This is one of those nights when you question what to get out of bed for...
If there's anything I should know
tell me now
We'll be having a millennium baby!
If you can still get it up
Alright enough
no more booze for you
These syringes...
may I have a look?
In the blue bag
Let's get some firewood
Don't do this to me
I have a daughter
Maya
she lives with her mother
it was an awful time after she was born
nobody tells you that beforehand
but still
now she's here
everything makes sense
Maya
sounds nice
I don't have anything against gays
Me neither
But at some point this child will be going to school
What do you think will happen there?
If anything happens I'll sort it out
Gay parents
And if it's a boy?
Then we will call him Noah
As if the whole world cares
about you having sex
gets on my nerves!
What about you having sex?
me?
with Svenja?
when? today?
She's calling you 'Ulfy'
So what
Wasn't my idea
Cute!
That's just her
but I give her what she wants
A guy like you
knows what to do then
Why of all people Svenja?
Go look for your own woman
Svenja
She's perfect
she's good looking
she's related to Louis
and in court
she doesn't stand a chance
Svenja has cancer
Ulfy, we've seen some storks
Ulf
my name is Ulf
What's going on?
It'll pass
Cancer?
What kind of cancer?
Will you stop now!
Well
I just wanted to see how he'd react to that
What do you mean 'how he'd react'?
Well
what he would say
And what did he say?
Nothing
That's the problem
forget the oil paintings
they're using you!
Ulf, please
Come on
Honey, not now
I'll need to self-impregnate myself in a minute
A syringe, quick!
They're gone
Just go on
What! Gone?
They are just gone
Hold on a sec
You took the bag inside
Yes, but I didn't check inside
Don't you stop!
Just go on
What happened?
Alright dude, where are the damn syringes?
What syringes?
You hid them!
Nothing to do with me!
Come on, guys!
That's your stuff!
You don't want this to happen anyways!
Look after your own shit!
I haven't seen your damn syringes!
Fuck this
Have you lost them?
This is crap!
They are gone and we need new ones
New ones? In the middle of the night?
The night pharmacy!
but we can't drive
You can still drive!
Who me?
Yes, you!
Alright, and where we going?
There was a pharmacy
The van stays here
I'm not crazy
in this crappy weather
It'll conk out on the next hill!
We'll take my car
I'm not driving with that dude
Then drive with me!
Thanks, Ulfy
I mean for taking part in all of this
You are really good for Svenja
I think she loves you
Your sister is sick
What?
She'll need chemo
now and not in ten months
What?
Yes
But she would've told me that
Her uterus needs radiation
every month counts
I just want you to know
Yes, please?
I need a syringe
What? What kind of syringe?
A disposable syringe please
Hold on. I'll be right there.
The pharmacy was closed
You've done it without a syringe?
Louis!
Hey big boy!
Let's take off your jacket
and then we'll pack
I'm pleased that you...
... that this works.
Have you heard anything from her?
You?
She'll appear again
Just like last time
We're in the middle of a merger
it's a German company
maybe something will come up and I'll come back
He can stay with me as long as he wants
and as long as you let him
Can we take this one too?
Of course we can
English subtitles by Dawn Archer and Moritz Schmittat
I can't go like this
I can't go when you're just there
So where do you want me to go?
I don't know
Just go back! JESUS!
Will you stop staring?!
I don't believe it!
How insensitive can he be? Incredible
Holy crap!
You pig!
Stop!
Stop!
If I was a bird I would shit on your head
Stop this shit
Let go!
this one is digital
There. Deleted
Can you see?
No. Don't do that again, shorty!
You said you'd call
I left loads of messages
We thought you weren't coming!
I said I would, didn't I?
Yeah, but nothing is prepared now
What do you need to prepare?
Ulfy!
My brother Louis
Louis, this is Ulfy
Ulfy...
Ulf!
What?
I can't carry all this stuff
Bloody hell!
There's a road?
Sorry, Ulf. I didn't know
It's not on the map
It's a hidden road
Well, look who's here
one-nil!
Don't get dressed for me
We'll save it till later
I'm Robert
Oh bugger
I could have driven down here
Now that's really enough
They even have storks here
Storks
Ok
Where are you going?
Don't look like that. I told you she'd come.
Who is that dude?
Don't know
Has she told him?
Don't worry! It's gonna happen
Great start
Maybe we should think again
Sorry she's causing all this trouble
But you gotta let her get close to you
He's just getting the van
needs his tools
Stop posing! He doesn't like it!
What does he know?
It's a tolerant society! He'll get over it.
Who's this dude anyways?
Ulfy genuinely loves me.
Got a problem with that?
Fact: you're together
he wants to be here? Okay
2nd fact: he didn't know about us
So in fact he doesn't know anything
Svenja
Oh no
What?
I thought we could all tell him together
It's beer o'clock
"Hey Ulf!
later Svenja and Robert are gonna make a baby!"
If you say it like that anything sounds crap
Got one for me?
Let's all calm down
You tell him and then we'll see
It doesn't have to be this month
Yes, it does!
I'll be on a cruise ship...
...as an entertaineress
As an entertainer?
That's what I said
What ship? When?
In May
baby has to be out by then
your call
either we do it today or we leave it
And if it doesn't work the first time?
We'd like to have a baby
the two of us
Robert and I would like to have a baby
For a long time
And it's not that easy for us
as we are
gay
as we are two men
and that's why, basically, physically, why we can't have one.
and that's why
I'll do it
We don't mean
through sexual intercourse.
The whole thing is done with
it happens via
self-impregnation.
Self-impregnation
You fancy her?
She's your sister
I don't mean that
She's different
From me?
From the usual
Her English
foul
I can already picture my mum
she'd hate that
What about your mum?
We'll probably bump into her at some point
Well, I still haven't met your mother
You'll be having a baby so it will be yours
I just don't get it
As surrogate mother
Jesus, what's so difficult to understand?
Tell'em to get a dog!
Seriously, enough is enough
Enough?
You've got a daughter
You're married
and together with me
What does that have to do with this?
Louis wants to be happy
Just like you
Because it sucks not having a family
and that's why he needs me now
But we can also be happy
Just quit the job at the club!
We'll get our own place
a fresh start
together
Do you think that'll work?
A pregnancy will change you
you'll wanna keep it in the end
It won't work anyways
We can still ask somebody else
Why do you say that?
Stop running her down
Why are you defending her all the time?
This is about me too
She's carrying it, it's about her
and then it's about the child
They will bond
regardless if she's raising it
We agreed!
Yes we did
Are you being paid?
No
They bought you
that's why you're doing this
I said I didn't want money
But I won't be working. What can I do?
How much?
Robert's parents
have oil paintings
of each member of the family
in golden frames
understand?
Just marry the queer!
Know what you are? Homophobic!
Forget the cock suckers, this is about us!
I'm entitled to my opinion!
And what IS your opinion?
What the fuck am I doing here?
You're a part of it!
a part of me
So how will this actually work?
I mean...
... you're not gonna...
...well...
...that wouldn't work, would it?
Well...
...Robert is bi...
...not gay...
...that's different.
You're gonna fuck him?
Don't loose sight of what it is
I don't want this!
We'll do it unemotionally
Come on, it's not like a striptease
Of course it's gonna be emotional
I feel odd
The thing with the cruise ship
something's wrong
Come on, Ulfy
Robert is healthy
we're not shagging
it's done with a syringe
Why with me?
Why not?
I don't want her to ruin everything
I won't let that happen
It's starting
The glasses!
It's happening!
Come on
That's enough now isn't it?
Enough? Do you even know what that means?
You shouldn't underestimate me
Why? Because of your gorgeous large ego?
No, reset! You pig!
What?
Would you mind just having a look?
If it helps
Yes, it does help
This is one of those nights when you question what to get out of bed for...
If there's anything I should know
tell me now
We'll be having a millennium baby!
If you can still get it up
Alright enough
no more booze for you
These syringes...
may I have a look?
In the blue bag
Let's get some firewood
Don't do this to me
I have a daughter
Maya
she lives with her mother
it was an awful time after she was born
nobody tells you that beforehand
but still
now she's here
everything makes sense
Maya
sounds nice
I don't have anything against gays
Me neither
But at some point this child will be going to school
What do you think will happen there?
If anything happens I'll sort it out
Gay parents
And if it's a boy?
Then we will call him Noah
As if the whole world cares
about you having sex
gets on my nerves!
What about you having sex?
me?
with Svenja?
when? today?
She's calling you 'Ulfy'
So what
Wasn't my idea
Cute!
That's just her
but I give her what she wants
A guy like you
knows what to do then
Why of all people Svenja?
Go look for your own woman
Svenja
She's perfect
she's good looking
she's related to Louis
and in court
she doesn't stand a chance
Svenja has cancer
Ulfy, we've seen some storks
Ulf
my name is Ulf
What's going on?
It'll pass
Cancer?
What kind of cancer?
Will you stop now!
Well
I just wanted to see how he'd react to that
What do you mean 'how he'd react'?
Well
what he would say
And what did he say?
Nothing
That's the problem
forget the oil paintings
they're using you!
Ulf, please
Come on
Honey, not now
I'll need to self-impregnate myself in a minute
A syringe, quick!
They're gone
Just go on
What! Gone?
They are just gone
Hold on a sec
You took the bag inside
Yes, but I didn't check inside
Don't you stop!
Just go on
What happened?
Alright dude, where are the damn syringes?
What syringes?
You hid them!
Nothing to do with me!
Come on, guys!
That's your stuff!
You don't want this to happen anyways!
Look after your own shit!
I haven't seen your damn syringes!
Fuck this
Have you lost them?
This is crap!
They are gone and we need new ones
New ones? In the middle of the night?
The night pharmacy!
but we can't drive
You can still drive!
Who me?
Yes, you!
Alright, and where we going?
There was a pharmacy
The van stays here
I'm not crazy
in this crappy weather
It'll conk out on the next hill!
We'll take my car
I'm not driving with that dude
Then drive with me!
Thanks, Ulfy
I mean for taking part in all of this
You are really good for Svenja
I think she loves you
Your sister is sick
What?
She'll need chemo
now and not in ten months
What?
Yes
But she would've told me that
Her uterus needs radiation
every month counts
I just want you to know
Yes, please?
I need a syringe
What? What kind of syringe?
A disposable syringe please
Hold on. I'll be right there.
The pharmacy was closed
You've done it without a syringe?
Louis!
Hey big boy!
Let's take off your jacket
and then we'll pack
I'm pleased that you...
... that this works.
Have you heard anything from her?
You?
She'll appear again
Just like last time
We're in the middle of a merger
it's a German company
maybe something will come up and I'll come back
He can stay with me as long as he wants
and as long as you let him
Can we take this one too?
Of course we can
English subtitles by Dawn Archer and Moritz Schmittat