Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama 2 (2022) - full transcript

[wind whooshing]

[eerie synth music]

[bats chirping]
[wings flapping]

[pins clattering]

♪ Oooh yeah

♪ Oh

♪ Here in the darkness

♪ Here in the darkness

♪ Here in the darkness

♪ Here in the darkness

♪ Oh yeah



[eerie synth music continues]

♪ Here in the darkness

[light music]

- I wonder what
tonight will be like.

- It'll be life changing.

- You think it'll be worth it?

- My older brother was a Sig
Ep, and the girls that went

to their parties never
paid for a drink, ever.

- I was thinking
more like my future.

Like, will this help
me find a better job?

Get a better man?

- [scoffs] You don't need
a man to get through life.

- I know I don't need one.

But what's wrong with
the girl wanting one?



- Put it this way.

Four or five, maybe six
years without buying a drink?

Imagine the shoes you could
get with all those savings.

- [laughs] Here, come
help me hang this.

Here, baby.

So, do you think there
will be any boys tonight?

- It's a sorority.

There are no boys.

Then what is the point?

- Point is...

- The point is.

- Being up Pi Ep is not
just about your time here

at the university.

It is a way of life.

No man shall ever fulfill
the needs of a sister.

No man shall ever fill
the void of a sister.

- No man shall fill my void.

- Then what's the point?

- I know, right?

- For a Pi Ep has
no void to fill.

- Don't get near my void.

[girls chuckling]

- Something funny, ladies?

- No ma'am.

- Then why are you
laughing, bitch?

- Language.

I won't have that kind of
language in my house, please.

You know that.

- But Auntie Snake, these two
were being insolent towards-

- I know what was going on.

Auntie knows everything.

- They need to learn obedience.

- Are these two young ladies
Pi Ep Delta sisters yet?

- No, Auntie.

- Then they're off the hook.

- You can't just let them get
away with every little thing.

It'll be anarchy!
- Tiffany.

- Yes?

- Shut up.

[girls giggling]

[Tiffany scoffs]

- Can I speak with
you in private?

- Of course.

- You scrubs are dismissed.

Go clean yourselves
up, look your best,

and please, pretend to be
perfect little pledges.

- Yes ma'am.

Come on.

Sorority sisters!

- [Auntie Snake]
What's eating you?

- Nothing.

I mean everything.

This house, it's pathetic.

- I don't know, it's
a little run down,

but still has its charm.

- Not the house
house, the sorority.

It's, it's lame.

- It sure is.

What I mean is, Pi
Delta have always been

the stink end of
the sorority stick.

Ingrates, degenerates, outcasts.

Filled with bad grades
and easy, fast girls.

And God, I miss those days.

- Excuse me?

The legacy of the Pi
Delts is rife with...

Okay, well, oh no, maybe
we are degenerates.

Is that what people think of us?

- In our day, we wore it
like a badge of honor.

Our walks of shame
were legendary.

- So this is why we have
fewer pledges every year?

- How many pledges do
you have this year?

- Including Ginger and Devin?

- [Auntie Snake] Mmhm.

- Two.

- I like them.

- Yeah.

- Those girls have spark.

Those are the types that are
gonna bring in more girls.

- [nervous chuckling]
Well, if they don't,

we might lose our house
and our sorority standing.

We can't afford to
pay dues without them.

- You know, our lack of
pledges goes way deeper

than our reputation.

The real reason girls don't
pledge here anymore is...

the house has a curse on it.

- [scoffs] Here we go again.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

One pledge night
your sister, Spider,

accidentally unleashed
something evil.

Get real.

What parents named their
daughter Spider and Snake?

- We were conceived
at a petting zoo.

Anyway, that's all true.

My sister's a lifelong
criminal, but she wasn't a liar.

[birds chirping]

[eerie synth music]

It was a dark and stormy night.

- [Sarah] Was it?

- [Auntie Snake] Okay,
it wasn't stormy.

It was dark.

They were just three
young super hot girls.

Oh look, there's Spider.

Hey, sis.

That one was Taffy,
and there's Lisa.

- Lisa and Taffy, gonna
break into the bowling alley

at the mall tonight.

Bring me back some
kind of souvenir

as proof that you were there.

- Please, we have to
pass this initiation.

Oh, please?

- I don't know.

- We'll do it.

- Good, then it's set.

You'll break into
the bowling alley.

You'll bring back a trophy here

and then you'll be
part of the sorority.

- [Auntie Snake] That's
how they ended up

at the bowling alley.

It was some kind of
initiation prank.

I never got all the
details of what happened,

other than whatever it
was that was released,

caused a night of terror.

My sister was the only
one who made it out

of that bowling alley alive.

Lisa and Taffy never even
got to see their boobs drop.

- [Sarah] Tons of
holes in that story.

What happened to Spider?

- You know the license
plate on your car?

Let's just say she made that.

- She became an artist?

- Yeah, she went nuts and became

a career criminal, you idiot.

After I saw what she'd become,

I vowed I would dedicate my
life to protecting girls,

like you ungrateful wretches.

- Great story.

Let me guess, you found the
key to the liquor cabinet.

- I give up.

[upbeat dance music]

♪ I've been watching you

♪ I, I, I've been watching you

- Gosh, I really hope
tonight goes well.

- What could go wrong?

- I don't know, like, if
we put in all this work

and they don't even choose us?

- They have to choose us.

We're the only two.

You sit here and worry, I'm
gonna go wash off all that dust.

- Oh, you got a little
right here. [laughs]

[energetic music]

- Go, go!
- There's a spider!

[energetic music continues]

- Holy crud, the pledges
are top notch this year!

- I just wish there
were more of them.

- You wouldn't know what to
do with any of them anyways.

- You're a bonafide genius.

- Show me the monkey.

Move that POV, bro.

[energetic music continues]

- Come here, Mr.
Cuddles. [smooches]

- These chicks are
full on free spirits.

- This is your
greatest work yet, bro.

- I consider this charity work.

I do it for free, 'cause
it's for the people.

- Hold up, here she comes.

- Who's your little friend?

- It's Mr. Cuddles,
and he wuvs you.

And I wuv Mr. Cuddles
right back. [smooches]

- It's all happening tonight!

- [Dinger] Work it, baby!

- Who is that?

- We're busted.

- Evasive maneuvers.

- Huh?

- Hide!

[light music]

- Attention, slobs.

- Five minutes
until the ceremony.

- We'll be there.

- You better be, otherwise
it's [clears throat].

You heard her, tick tock.

[girls giggling]

- Help me get into my gown.

- Crisis averted.

- That was close.

- Oh, guys, guys.

[upbeat rock music]

Dibs!

- Hell no, bro.

- I called it.

[upbeat rock music continues]

- Now we can't see anything.

- Maybe it's a sign that
what we are doing here

is completely wrong.

- [All] Nah.

- We gotta move that camera
back into a position, bro.

- What fool's stupid enough
to climb up there and do that?

Why are you looking at me?

[light music]

- I can't believe there are
only two of us pledges tonight.

- Three.

- Wait, where do you come from?

- The streets, what's it to you?

- I haven't seen you around.

Um, do you go to this school?

- School of hard
knocks, you know?

- I guess that's
a private school.

- Well, I'm Ginger.

- And I'm Devin.

- Okay.

- Bitsy.

- Bitsy?

Interesting name.

- Yeah well, Devin isn't.

It sounds like a dude.

- Oh, it can go both ways.

- No one cares.

[dramatic music]

- The ceremony hath begun.

[cymbal crashes]

- So sorry, Sarah.

I mean, Madam.

- You two low lifes
before me have chosen-

- Um, Sarah? [clears throat]

Madam, there's
three of them now.

They're multiplying.

- Holy shit, there
are three of you, huh.

[clears throat]
You three low lifes

before me have chosen the
esteemed Pi Epsilon Delta

sorority sisterhood
as your forever home.

But has the Pi Delta
sisterhood chosen you?

Are you worthy to wear
the badge of solidarity?

To forever pursue enlightenment
through partnership

with your fellow sisters?

- Yes.

- That was rhetorical, low life.

- Oh, I'm sorry, but I
will, for the record.

- Silence.

- Are you worthy of
adorning yourselves

in our Pi Delt letters to
wear them with courage?

Are you ready to spit in
the eye of mediocrity?

And will you never get
behind on your dues?

That is where I would
like a response.

- Oh, oh, oh, sure.

- Yes, totally.

- Speak.

- Hm, good enough for me.

You are no longer
sleazoids and low lifes.

You are now members, nay,
family, of the sisterhood.

Welcome to Pi Epsilon Delta.

- Yay! [giggles]
- Radical.

- Um, Sarah.

I mean, well, princess.

There's still a lot
more in the ceremony.

- Mm, who cares?

- Huh?

- I needed to get them on
board before they fell asleep.

- Okay, but in
accordance to the bylaws

set forth by the elders-

- Screw the elders,
Tiffany. [chuckles]

- Okay, but what about all this?

It's my favorite part.

- Sisters, since
we now have a vote,

who would like some of this?

- You get near me with that
thing, you'll be eating it.

- Anyone interested in this?

- That looks kinda ouchie.

- Any problems or
allergies with these?

- I'm cool.

- No problem.

[upbeat music]

[girls exclaiming and laughing]

[whipped cream hissing]

- Turkey's really missing this.

- Almost there?

[upbeat music continues]

[girls exclaiming]

[Auntie Snake clears throat]

- All right, ladies.

Pledge night is not over yet.

There is one final task
that you need to do,

so go on upstairs and
get cleaned up, hustle.

- [Auntie Snake] Final task?

There hasn't been a
final task in years.

- With all due respect,

take a chill pill, or
a bottle in your case.

- You're so dead later.

Not your thing?

- Hardly.

- I don't blame you.

Never hurts to cut
loose now and then.

- You don't know me.

- Auntie Snake.

Now you know me.

- What kind of name is Snake?

- A damn cool one.

And you are?

- Bitsy.

- You're making fun of my name?

- It's a nickname
given to me as a baby.

Whenever I was dropped
off at the orphanage.

I kind of showed up
on a rainy night.

You know, like I went
down a water spout.

[poignant music]

What are you doing?

- Sorry, you had whipped
cream in your hair.

[eclectic music]

[shoes squeaking]

[girls chattering indistinctly]

[Turkey crashes into bushes]

- Pi Epsilon Delta!

[Turkey yells]

- Did you guys hear that?

- Look, I'm not the
one for handouts, buts-

- You can se the shower.

- Hm, double the bubbles?

- I suppose.

Keep your hands to yourself.

[relaxing jazz music]

- Bro, did you fix the camera?

- Bro, we're gonna
miss the best part.

- Want me to share one?

Here you go.

We're Pi Eps!

- I cant believe it.

Look at the little bubble, boop!

[girls laughing]

[girls exclaiming]

Yeah, soap me up!

[tense music]

- You didn't inform me
of me of the final task.

- Oh, it's nothing.

It's, it's just a little
debauchery in the bowling alley.

- The bowling alley?

That place is off limits.

- It's tradition.

- It was one time and we
know how that turned out.

- Do we?

That is why the
sorority is failing.

There's a lack of
tradition of what once

used to be a great
organization for girls.

This will be a
bonding experience.

- You better hope that Auntie
Snake doesn't find out.

- Who cares? [chuckles]

- What do you think this
task is all about tonight?

- Deathly boring, most likely.

- I want you downstairs
and ready in five minutes.

Chop chop.

- We're missing it!

- You want me to kill
myself over this?

- Give me that.

- Which one of you did this?

Was it you?

- I would never do
something like that.

- You?

- It wasn't little old me.

- Then it had to have been you.

- You guys, why does
this have a blinking eye?

- Busted.

- You think they nailed us?

- Never.

- I think they nailed us.

- We'd love to stay
and chat, ladies,

but we were just passing by.

- Just happened to be in
the neighborhood, huh?

- Yes, but not yours.

We were nowhere near
this place, bro.

- Watching a little
movie, were we?

- Movies?

Who has the time?

- No tea for me, thanks.

- So you'll have no problem
when the police arrive.

- You called the po po?

- Oh no, no.

- Crapola.

- Look, busters,
we're onto you pervs.

That was a strict violation
of our personal privacy.

That was a severe offense
in the eyes of the law.

- Punishable by death, fuckers.

- Please no, my mom
will kill my dead body

if she finds out about this.

- Well, maybe there's a way out.

- We'll do anything.

- Anything.

- What do we say, sisters?

We give these numbskulls a
chance to redeem themselves?

- I say we paddle their
asses till they cry

like little girls.

[boys laughing]

- Harsh, but negotiable.

- Just tell us
what we need to do.

- You Neanderthals have a car?

- We got wheels.

- The three of you are
gonna drive us somewhere.

- You kicking in for gas?

- After we kick in your ass.

- Okay, easy.

Just tell us where
we need to go.

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music continues]

- Bowling, now?

- It's closed, you fool.

- Well, it won't
be very fun, then.

- What's the task?

- I like you.

You get down to the bottom line.

- I like her bottom line.

Just sayin'.

- You all know
the sordid history

of the Pi Epsilon
Delta sorority.

The thievery, the unsolved
murders of our legacy sisters.

All of that started right here.

This bowling alley is ground
zero for all those years

of talking about us
behind our backs,

phony baloney curses,
and body count bullshit.

All of that ends tonight.

- Piss on those
curses and baloney.

- A Pi Epsilon
Delta never wavers,

never shies from adversity
and never gives up.

- Never, ever.

- Your task is the very same
one given to those sisters

all those years ago.

Steal the trophy,

bring it back to the
the house, and with it,

bring back glory to the
Pi Epsilon Delta Sorority.

- Yes! [claps]

- [Sarah] Come on
girls, let's go.

Shit, I didn't count on that.

[light music]

Did you learn that in juvie?

[Bitsy exclaims mockingly]

- You coming with?

- No, we're staying out here.

This is your task.

- Suit yourself.

- Bro.

- It's a paradise.

- It's perfect.

- Where's the trophy?

Let's nab it and get
the fuck outta here.

- Yes, of course my fine lady.

But first?

- We have some fun.

- Tonight, ladies and gentlemen,

- [Guys] We bowl.

- I won't try nothing.

- Well, you might regret
it if you don't. [giggles]

- Ugh, get real.

[energetic dance music]

[bottles clinking]

[girls laughing]

[energetic dance
music continues]

[girls laughing]

[pins clattering]

[girls laughing]

[energetic dance
music continues]

[pins clattering]

- They could be in
there all night.

Are we just gonna wait out here?

- Not even.

- We're going back to the house?

- We're going inside.

I had the boys from
Sig Ep rig the place.

- Sweetness!

- Come on.

[Tiffany squeals]

We need to be quiet.

- What are you, my chaperone?

- People call me Turkey.

- I'll bet they do.

- You need a brewski
to wash that down?

- Brewski?

Are you serious?

- I think I'm in love.

[light music]

[cash register chimes]

Right on.

- Hey.

Wanna knock the
dust off some balls?

- Excuse me?

[laughs nervously] I don't know.

I haven't done it
since I was a kid.

- You can't be worse than me.

Come on.

Just take the ball
lightly, but firm.

Here, take a few steps back.

- Like this?

- Just like that, good form.

- What's next?

- Then you walk real fast
and funny to the line.

Throw that thing as far
as you can, down the lane.

- Fast and funny, huh?

- Hey, it's a guaranteed
strike every time.

- Well then, here goes nothing.

Your instructions kind of suck.

- Well, you weren't
fast or funny enough.

- 10 points for form,

but uh, you've never really
bowled before, have you?

- Negative, not once.

- Now watch this.

[intense music]

[pins clattering]

- Okay, bro, you're a hustler.

- Now let me show
you how to do it.

- Stand up straight.

A little to the left,
and hold it like this.

[pins clattering]

- Hey, I'm a quick learner, huh?

- Totally teachable.

[soft music]

- Something bothering you?

- Duh.

- Duh, what?

- Obviously, I'm
still mad at you.

- I said I was sorry.

- Yeah, but what you guys
said was really crummy,

and you're only sorry
'cause it got busted.

- It was just a college prank.

- Well, it wasn't cool and
I did not like it at all.

- Just tell me what I can
do to make it up to you.

- Probably nothing.

- I know, they say the
way to a woman's heart,

is a brand new pair of shoes.

But wait, there's more.

[upbeat music]

[Ginger giggles]

I truly am sorry.

Apology accepted?

- None of these shoes
are even my size.

- Oh, gimme a break.

I'm sorry,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry
- Okay, I accept, I accept,

I accept, I accept,
I accept! [giggles]

Accepted!

- What a bunch of boring hoes.

- I don't know, I'm
kind of liking it.

Then again-

- They haven't even
looked for the trophy yet.

If this doesn't pick up,

we may have to
goose them a little.

- All right, ladies.

Where are they?

- Why those little bitches.

[Ginger giggles]

- Don't you get near me.

- Your mouth says no, but your
body says all kinds of yes.

- Be careful, big boy.

My daddy's in the NRA.

- Oh, no need.

I'll be a gentleman and
be on the right side

of your mixed signals.

So is that a yes, then?

- Not exactly.

I, I shouldn't.

- Neither should I.

- What are you gonna do
with that, call your mommy?

[machine vibrates]

- How does this look?

- It looks great from here.

- Hmm.

- No, nope.

You'll do.

- Are you really gonna
do this for your sisters?

I didn't think that
was your style.

- I only look out
for a number one.

- I don't get it.

- And you never will.

- If you hate Pi Epsilon Delta
so much, why'd you even join?

- The only scholarship
I could score hench on.

That, and I'm
clearly a masochist.

You think that thing
is real silver?

- Hard to tell
with all the dust.

- Heavy.

I wonder what the going
price of silver is nowadays.

Here we go, hurry.

Let's go, chop chop.

[light music]

- [Ginger] You found it!

- Dude, get your
own, I'm outta here.

Let go, let go!

[girls grunting]

[Ginger yelps]

[Bitzy exclaims]

[trophy crashes]

- What, you lose!

[Ginger yells]

- Uh, bro?

[mist hissing]

- What-
- The-

- Fuck?

[mist hisses]

- Free at last!

Sultan Almighty,
I'm free at last!

Ha ha!

- The hell is that?

- Hold up, hold up, hold up.

Before I take any
questions, y'all.

- Okay.

- Is he a Sig Ep?

- No idea.

- Didn't you set this up?
- Shh!

- Satan alive.

Feels good to stretch
these old bones again.

You got any idea how long I've
been crammed in that vessel?

- Um, no.

- Too goddamned long,
that's how long.

- Yeah, that's pretty long, man.

[mist hisses]

- Oh my God, about time.

- Totally.

How long have we been in there?

- I don't know, but I've got
a hell of a Charlie horse.

- Whatever, look at my hair.

So flat!

- But the important thing
is that we're free, right?

- Not with this hair.

Look for some spray, will ya?

- Oh no, did the other
imp get out, too?

- Ah, Junior, yeah.

He's over there talking
to some dopey kids.

- Oh, here we go again.

[eclectic music]

Look at them.

Did we ever look that goofy?

- As if.

- What are you?

- Listen up, here's the 411.

- Imp-splaining.

- I'm an imp, an ancient
forged from magic and shit.

My kind roamed the Earth
for thousands of years,

until one day, we didn't.

I'm the last my
kind, 'cause, well,

that's another story
of another time.

I got trapped in
that vessel with-

- The trophy?

- Don't interrupt!

I spent the last 30
years in that trophy

when I went to
look at my father.

You know what I'm saying?

- Do we?

- It doesn't matter
nohow, because here I am.

And that's all because of you.

And for breaking me outta
that hellish imprisonment,

I will reward you greatly.

- Don't listen to 'em, kids.

- You mean like wishes?

- They're listening to him.

- Yes, wishes, as you call them.

Well bitches, looks, whatever
your heart desires most,

you name it, girl,
I will make it so.

- So, you're like a genie?

- A genie, how dare you?

Do I look like I
need a carpet to fly?

No, baby, I'm an imp.

Did you really expect a genie

to come out that bowling trophy?

- Okay, what about these wishes?

- One each, I'll allow you.

Make 'em good, make 'em count.

- I don't know, guys.

This sounds like a
recipe for disaster.

- How about you, big guy?

What you want?

Cars, money?

Girls?

Mm. [giggles]

- I wanna be a famous rapper.

- Really?

You don't even rap.

- That's all I can think of.

- Your wish is granted.

[sparkles chiming]

- So disappointed.

- [Imp] Who's next?

- I wish for the perfect man.

Not too tall, not too short.

Doesn't talk a lot and
will love me forever.

You know, someone who
will be really into me.

Someone I can become one with.

- Hey, what about me?

- Yeah, you ain't it.

- The man of your dreams
is just behind that door.

[sparkles crackling]

Go to it and find the
stud of your dreams.

Another satisfied customer.

What about you, fella?

Come on, I ain't got all night.

- I'm good.

- And you, little lady?

What's missing in your life?

How can I feel the
void in your heart?

- Uh...

- Say it, I will make it so.

- I-I-I wish for-

- Bro, I know.

I wanna shit ton of cash.

Yeah, that's it.

Cash out the ass.

- You snooze, you lose, girl.

Sir, I like your style, granted!

- Bro, what is this?

I specifically said
I wanted a shit ton.

This isn't a shit ton, bro.

- Come to me, Devin.

Come inside.

- Is that really you?

The man of my dreams?

- Come to me, Devin.

I waited all my life for you.

I'll never leave you.

[Devin sighs]

- You're off to a good start.

[sighs] Whoa.

- Am I what you dreamed of?

- [chuckles] And then some.

[romantic music]

[romantic music continues]

[sparkles chiming]

- Yo, come on, Imp!

I said I wanna be
a famous rapper.

Where's my mic?

- Oh, it's coming.

- What's this?

[upbeat music]

[Bart yells]

[explosions booming]

[imp laughs]

[Bart screams]

- You said you wanted
to be a famous wrapper.

Take that, KitKat.

[imp laughs]

All right, who's next?

- You mean next to die?

You can all stay if you
want, but I'm outta here.

- Um, we need to get
Devin first, though.

- Don't leave now,
you'll miss all the fun.

- Fun, my ass.

Where's my wish, bro?

- [Bitsy] Coming with us?

- Not till I get what I deserve.

- Oh, you'll get what's
coming to you, ha!

[stomach rumbles]
[fart squelches]

[Dinger groans]

[fart squelches]

- Bro!

[fart reverberates]

[upbeat music]

[Dinger groans]
[fart rumbles]

[money rustles]

[fart squelches]

[Dinger moans]

- How's that for "Lifestyles
of the Rich and Fame-Ass?"

[imp laughs]

- I think I've seen enough, you?

- Way enough.

- We should just run
back to the house

and pretend that
this never happened.

Solid?

- Way solid.

- Let's book.

- Am I everything
you wished for?

[intense music]

- Will you be into me forever?

- Of course.

- And we'll always be one.

- Your wish is my command.

[electricity buzzes]

- Oh my God.

What's happened to me?

I'm like totally obese.

[imp laughs]

[Ginger screams]

[electricity buzzes]

- It won't budge.

- Ah, two more
fine young ladies.

Two more wishes.

What are your heart's desires?

- I wish you would
leave me alone.

- Done and done. [laughs]

[Tiffany yells]

[groovy music]

- Crap, gag me with a spatula.

[imp laughs]

- I'm waiting.

- I'm not playing your game.

- Ah, but you must.

But word to the wise, choose
your words wisely, ha!

- Gotcha.

All right, okay.

If I wished, for
example, and I'm not,

for you to open this door,

it would smash me
to bits, right?

- Possibly.

- Okay.

And again, if I
wished, and I'm not,

to be snuggled up
safely in my bed,

I would be, but it would be
on Saturn or something, right?

- You're very quick
and very imaginative.

- Cool beans.
Okay, let me think.

- What have you always wanted?

- To live forever.

- Thy will be done. [laughs]

- Wait, that doesn't
count, does it?

- It sure does.

- [gasps] You are a
nasty little shit!

- Go enjoy your life.

Your extremely, very long life.

[upbeat rock music]

[imp laughs]

- Where's Devin?

- I dunno, she's like, I'm
really into that guy right now.

- We need to find a weapon.

- Do you think that'll
do us any good?

- I don't wanna find
out if we don't.

- Okay.

- Uh, I'm good, let's boogie.

- [Sarah] You guys!

[Bitsy yells]

- Strike, y-y-you killed her!

[Bitzy exclaims]

- Great, now I'll never
be Pi Epsilon Deltas.

- Seriously, Ginger?

[dramatic music]

- Oh mother of God.

Get away from me!

[Sarah moaning]

- Let's go.

[electricity buzzing]

- [Bitsy] We can
blow up this thing.

- How are we gonna get out?

- We have to stop him.

But how?

- I swear over my dead body

that I'm never pledging
another sorority again.

Worst than prom!

[Sarah growls and laughs]

[nails screeching]

- Occu-potty.

[Sarah growls]

- Pledge revoked.

- Dude, this sucks.

I didn't even wish for anything,

and your wish screws me over?

[Ginger screams]

[water splashes]

- What's taking her so long?

- From my experience with women?

It'll be another hour, at least.

Let's hurry things up.

[dramatic music]

- Hurry up.

Don't make us go in there.

- I kinda wanna see it, though.

Is it really as huge
magical as they say?

- Be my guest.

- Not a magic place,
not a magic place.

Ooh, check it out.

- Ew.

[dramatic music continues]

- In here.

- Do you like it?

He's like so into me.

- Where's your esteem, girl?

[dramatic music continues]

- Is anything gonna help anyway?

- Oh, that's positive.

I guess we could just sit here
and wait for the inevitable.

[Sarah growls]

- I can smell you,
pledge! [laughs]

- And that is the inevitable.

- I gotta tell you something.

I really like you.

- And you're compelled
to tell me this now?

- I just needed to say it.

I may never get another chance.

I like you, your style.

I think you're cool.

- Thanks.

- Okay, when the imp
asked us for our wishes,

our deepest desires,

I-I wanted to wish for
you to be in love with me.

But I didn't.

I, I, I couldn't,
'cause I would've known

our relationship would've
always been fake.

A foundation built on falsehood.

And honestly, I couldn't
always love you knowing that.

Whoa.

- [Sarah] Open up!

[Sarah banging on door]

- In your head, did
you wish for anything?

- No.

- We're gonna die
in here anyway.

Just tell me.

- Okay, fine.

But don't tell anyone.

I'm an orphan.

I bounce from one
home to another,

got kicked out from
one home to another.

I never knew who
my real mother was.

Even now, especially now,
someone worries about me.

Somebody, somewhere who
loves me no matter what.

[Sarah laughs]

- I wish for my mom.

- Yummy, nummy! [laughs]

[brain splatters]

[Bitsy gasps]

[somber music]

- You called?

- What?

- You called, I came.

- You're my mother?

- Duh.

- You look exactly like your
father, but you act the same,

have the same shitty attitude.

Connect the dots, girl.

- Both are pretty caustic.

- Let's go.

- Both of you, let's go.

[tense music]

[neon lights buzzing]

- But how do we get outta here?

- We're gonna have to
put that imp bastard

back in his bottle.

- Fat chance.

- You're not the same ugly
jerk that killed our girls.

Who are you?

- Aw, she never forgot us.

- So sweet.

- Ah, your sister
killed my father.

Feeling you will
be extra delish.

- You aren't killing
any more people tonight.

[shotgun cocks]

Or ever again.

- I set out to avenge
my father's death,

but got imprisoned in that
vessel for over 30 years

with those chatty
Cathys instead.

- Cathy and Lisa?

You, you've seen them?

- Every single day.

Those bitches never shut up.

- That's them.

- Fate worse than any death
I can bring on your head.

I'm a sporting imp.

Do you prefer to die
by any means of a wish

or should not I just kill you
know and get it over with?

- What do we do?

- That imp is going
back in its trophy.

- The trophy is broken.

- What?

Uh, think, think, think,
think, think, think!

Think!

- I remember waking
up in class once,

the teacher lady
saying something about

saying names having power.

- Right!

Saying it's name gives
you power over the evil.

- Well it doesn't get any
more farfetched than that,

but go ahead, give it
a try, give it a whirl.

Ask him his name.

- Hi, I-I'm Turkey.

What's your name, man?

- Fuck you.

- Beelzebub, Bocephus?

- Do we help them or not?

- Sure, let's let
them live their lives.

- Arukalu.

- Nostra-dumbass.

- You'll never get it, suckas.

- I think he's right.

It could be a million years
before we even get it.

- Don't worry, I'll kill
you long before then.

- Keep trying.

Uh, um, Hearto, um.

Bubblebuns, um?

- Come on.

- A little help, I'm
a frickin' ghost.

- We're doing it!

- Yay, us!

- Um.

- What's the use?

No way.

- You were all so mine.

So, so mine.

- Ha-Harold, Harold.

Harold?

- What the actual fuck?

- That's your name, Harold?

- How did you guess, bitch?

No, no, I can't go back!

You girls suck, I'll get you!

I'll get you all!

- Yes!

Oh, that's my girl!

- You did it.

It was your idea.

- Let's get out here.

- What do we do with this?

- Um, put it somewhere where
no one can ever find it.

Okay, let's go
back to the house.

You have pledges to recruit.

Love you.

- [Both] Bye.

- Oh, that was so great.

- Yeah.

- Well, what now?

- Oh, right.

Hmm.

Well, I guess we
haunt the place?

- Yeah, great idea!

[both laughing]

[neon lights buzzing]

[intense music]

- [Sister] Kimmy, you're
not supposed to go up there.

- Shh, be quiet.

Where else would it be?

Okay if I were punch bowl,

where would I be?

[gasps] There you are.

Score.

This is going to be a night
those girls will never forget.

[bottle shatters]

[imp laughs]

♪ I'm watching you

♪ The way you move
your body drives me ♪

♪ Monsieur, ooh la la

♪ You look really
good out there ♪

[singing in French]

♪ I got off the
plane from Montreal ♪

[singing in French]

♪ I felt like I was sitting
on top of the world ♪

♪ Ooh baby, ooh baby,
ooh ooh ooh baby ♪

♪ Fashion is my destiny

♪ And now I need
someone to please ♪

♪ I'm looking for
the special guy ♪

♪ Who will hold me at night
and light up my life ♪

♪ 'Cause I been watching you

♪ The way you move your
body drives me crazy ♪

♪ I've been watching you

♪ The way you move your
body drives me crazy ♪

♪ Ooh, been watching you

♪ The way you move
your body drives me ♪

♪ Monsieur, ooh la la

♪ 'Cause I've been
watching you ♪

♪ The way you move your
body drives me crazy ♪

♪ I've been watching you

♪ The way you move your
body drives me crazy ♪

♪ Ohh

♪ I want your body

♪ Ooh

♪ I want your body

♪ I've been watching you

♪ The way you move