Soof 2 (2016) - full transcript

They're coming.

They're here.

I need to pee.

The biggest mistake in love
is, of course, marriage.

Especially when there are kids involved.

But you don't realise that
when you start out.

You only see how wonderful he is.

And not the piles of laundry
you'll be folding soon.

Or all the petty tights
that drive you apart.

When all you want is to be loved.
To feel attractive.

With a steamy climax every now and
then, that leaves you too sore to walk.



In reality your sex life is more like...

Well, a mechanical form
of early morning exercise.

But obviously, that is no reason
not to enter into marriage.

People are and remain social animals...

who prefer to share their lives
with other social animals.

Until you reach the end.

Which is now.

This is the end.

So?
- Well, this is it.

Finished.

All done.

There's nothing left.

Would you look at Soof...

and repeat that to her
in a coherent sentence?



Soof...
- No, no. Listen.

The summer holiday was a disaster.

We were worn out by the renovation
and the move.

And to spend the holidays
in a boiling lent with three kids...

It's not exactly conducive to a marriage.

Plus, Sacha is going through
a second wave of puberty...

and in a hormonal flux
she wants to be kicked out...

Soof?
- Yes?

Would you please listen to Kasper?

I know. He wants a divorce.
That's completely absurd.

Soof
-Really? You think that's absurd?

You've been coming here
for 14 months now.

And all I hear is misunderstandings
and frustration.

You moved to save your marriage.

Went on holiday
to mend what went wrong in the move.

I can only applaud how long
you've managed to carry on.

So, Kasper.

Soof? Will you divorce me?

Yes, I do.

Good.

Now all I need to know is which one
of you should I send my bill to.

Care for a lift?

I'll take a taxi.
- That would be best.

Would be awkward, right?

Side by side in a car, when we've just...

Oh, well...

Best if we deal with this
on our own, right?

So...

That remote didn't crawl off by itself,
boys.

Who tidied up here?

Nana's misplaced everything.
- We can't find anything.

I just put things in order.
And I did not come across a remote.

Look. How hard can it be?

Just this once. I don't like you
watching TV before dinner.

I told you.
- Mum, what's going on with you?

It's probably Saturn moving through
one of my houses.

Or hormones.
- You don't have those anymore.

I thought: Chaos in your house
equals chaos in your head.

But it is not you. It is Kasper.
He's going through a phase.

I'm afraid it is more than that. We...

A classic midlife.
Testosterone levels going down.

Next thing, he'll buy a sports bike
and gels his balls waxed.

Hi.
- Hey.

HEY-

Shall I slay for dinner?
- I don't think that's a good idea.

This is your coat, right?

We have things to discuss.

Bye, boys.

So we're going to tell them, shall we?

Shouldn't we discuss it first?
- We've done that.

Yes, but...
- What?

They're having a growth spurt.
- So?

Sas has a French test tomorrow.
And I am not in the mood.

I just want to eat. No hassle.

I paid 82,50 for the food.

We have to see this through now.

What's that?
- We'll tell you in a minute.

What's to tell?
- Well...

This is good.
- Is there no red curry?

Very spicy.
- I didn't see that.

There's something...
- Dies.

When does a Thai au pair
say "enjoy your meal"?

No idea.
- When she's learned Dutch.

We need to tell you something.
- What do you call a broken boomerang?

A stick.

Thing is, your mum and I... We...

That is to say, your mum and I...

Are you getting divorced?
- Yes.

Yes, that's what I wanted to say.

So there.

I have a French exam tomorrow.
So there.

I don't really cook anymore.

Anything else?

As a cook, you cannot
stay home from work...

when they need you there.
Although the same goes for a manager.

You're flexible.
You can work from home.

Pay the bills, place your orders.

And I wanted a break from cooking.

Do you have kids?

That'll be your starters.
Basket of bread?

Please.

And a basket of bread.
- A basket of bread. That's so lame.

As a concept.
You almost feel that you...

Nothing tomorrow, just a table for two.

Just one for two? On a Saturday night?
Why bother to even open.

Nothing to do?
Go fill out the order form.

Shall I call that couple to reschedule?
Or would that be weird?

I'd feel weird eating out
in an otherwise empty restaurant.

Hey, Bing. Hey, sweetie pie.

Oh, dear. Really?

Listen. This one's a cucumber.
And this is a zucchini.

Never mind about my home-made
lasagna. Don't worry.

Miss, when do you think
I might be getting my food?

Doesn't matter. We'll wash them.

You go watch the telly till I'm back.

Bye now, hon. Kiss on your tummy.
Bye, Bingie-boy.

I'm such a bad mum.
- That's the cheese soufflé.

I don't feel like opening.
Two guests won't pay the bills.

Wow, you're getting better.

I'll cancel that reservation.
We're closed tomorrow.

Do you want one?
- I quit ages ago.

But give me a puff. Just to see
if it still tastes good.

Does he have large balls? Kasper?

They know
how to take care of themselves.

It's all the semen.
Occupies their minds.

Your dad had large balls.
- Thanks for sharing.

You know how that ended.

Second youth, second family.
Just like your Mr Midlife.

You need to start
to take good care of yourself.

No one else will.

It's horrible. Yuck.
Let's finish this, Mum.

There's a let just down the street.

Hope he checks it out.

So that you'll bump into him
all the time?

It's not about me, but about the kids.

Just like on a plane: Put on your own
mask first before helping your kids.

What do you want me to do with this?

The caravan?
- What?

I haven't the foggiest. Just bin it.

He's in year 6. He's not a baby.

They shouldn't call you at work.

He had a tummy ache.

His parents just got divorced.
So he wanted his mum.

I was there, wasn't I?

He ate a whole jar
of marshmallow spread.

Is this it?
- Yes.

If you would listen to me for once...

Oh, my.
- Great, isn't it? For the kids.

It's just ten minutes by bike.

Where does everyone sleep?

Isn't it great?
- A Silver Bullet.

I need 2 weeks for the kitchen
and the bathroom.

Then I can have them
every other week.

So shall we say, one month from now?

These things always take longer.
- Very considerate. Thank you.

Are you arguing?
- We're just chatting.

When can we come to stay?
- When it's ready.

I'm doing the best I can.

Bye.

Oh, lovely. Bye, sweetheart.

Bye, Dad.

Bye, guys.

Bye.

KookSoof lacks soul

Well.

Mum.

Your sex gnome is on TV.
- Who?

Oh, Jim.
Oh shit, I needed to call him.

He's with Berdien now.
- Who's that?

One of those randomly famous people.

Where are we supposed to sit?

Um... Well...

Sas.
- Mum.

Come. Get up, darling. No worries.

There you go. That's better.

This is such good fun, guys. Great.

Care for a snack? No?
You?

Would you like a snack, darling?
No?

So nice.

Some peanuts, maybe?

Stop leaning on us.
We have our own lives.

Okay.

Care for a sausage? Sas?

I was just off to bed.
- Me too.

Oh, go on.

I'm afraid there is not much I can do.

He must have choked.

On a piece of Lego, or a stray peanut.
Something like that.

Might have been anything.
- Oh, dear.

Do you want to take him home to bury
him? Or shall we keep him?

What happens to him here?

We'll put him in cold storage
and have him destroyed.

I think it's best
if we take Brother Rabbit home.

Right, Dies?

How do you spell "destroyed"?
With a y?

O-y-e-d?
- Correct.

So that's like a pet crematorium?

They'll incinerate him?
- Yes.

I really think it would be better...
- Mum, stop.

Tell you what, Dies. Take him home.

Help your mum give him
a proper funeral.

I think she'd like that.
- Yes.

Courage.

Mum. That's not how you do it.
- It is too.

So you try. Show us how it's done.

Wow. Okay, wait.
Watch this.

Sas?
Yes?

Come here.
- Show us your moves.

Jesus Christ. All right.

Mum, don't.

Stop it.

I know, I'm too old. It's embarrassing.

I have something for you.

For us? A present?
- Here you go.

Can we open them?
- All together.

Wail.

And go.

They're for your bikes.

To click on a crate.
- And why do we need these?

Because you'll be moving house
every other week.

All by ourselves?

You mean, me too?
- That's the idea.

What do you mean "that's the idea"?

Well, of course Dad and I will help you.

Why should we have to live
in two different houses?

Why don't you and Daddy take turns?

You wanted this divorce.
- That's not an option.

Oh, right. It's not an option.
- That's enough.

Sorry.

But it's not all bad.

A new house means new stuff.
That's wicked, right?

No.
- Dies.

You're wicked.

Let me, Mum.

Dies?

Dies?

Some things will get better.

Dad's a lot nicer without Mum there.

And Mum's okay with everything
when Dad's not around.

And we can do loads more sneaky stuff.

We'll tell Dad that we're at Mum's...

and Mum that we're at Dad's.

We should do change-of-address cards.

And hand them out in class.

We could throw a house-warming party.

Yeah. Great idea, Mum.

Cooking for one.

Thanks.
- It'll come in handy, you'll see.

Hey, ladies.

This is fun, right?

Throwing a housewarming party
in my house?

This is also the kids' house.
They live here too.

Hey. Sas.

Nice blouse.

Since it doesn't fit you anymore...

Stop. Guys.
- Come on, man.

Nice idea.

Bad timing.

But fun.
- Thanks.

Hey, Soof.
- Hi.

Sorry, we didn't know you'd be here.

We thought we'd cheer him up.

Get him out of his misery
after the divorce.

Embarrass him a bit.

You did a good job.

We also have a karaoke set.
Playlist's awesome.

50 Ways To Leave Your Lover.
And Marco Borsato.

I've Left You Far Behind.

Not that he hates you now, or anything.

Course not. Bring it on.
No worries.

Great.
- All right.

Booze won't solve your problems.

So they say. But water won't either.

I'm okay.
I'm completely fine with it.

Completely fine.
We're divorced now.

He's having fun. And so am I.
And the kids.

We're all having great fun here.

Sounds marvelous.
Let me take you home.

No, you said I had to look out for myself.

And I'm going to make a start
with that today.

I have every right to be here.

Every right.
I'm a person in my own right.

My own right.

Oh, but now... Hey.

Let's see.

Is it on? It is, right?

Did you have fun?

Got it all out of your system?

Hey? How were things at KookSoof?

Your mum's a natural.
- Really?

Thanks for filling in for me.
- It was great.

How are things here?
- Fantastic.

By the way...

I found this on your doormat.
- Oh.

You should open it.

How was business?
How many guests?

Can I see?

God... Soof.
- What a ridiculous amount.

Come on, it's just an estimate.
- You should object.

Really. or we'll go under.
- No, we won't.

We think you should slay home for a bit.

Why?
- Take a break.

Come to terms with the divorce.

What would I do all day?

Come to grips with your paperwork.
- Think.

Since you quit cooking,
the restaurant's gone down-hill.

Like yourself.

Maybe management is
not really your cup of tea.

That is something to think about, Soof.

Are you sure
you don't want to cook anymore?

You're in the kitchen now.
- I'm no cook.

I can run things.
And your mum can help with sewing.

My mum?
- Yes.

As of when...?
- As of now.

Mum. I'm soaking wet.

Shite rain. Crap.

Dammit Dies, can you stop swearing?
It's only rain.

Come on in.

Cup of tea?

Were they on sale?

Just a bit more privacy.

Where's my phone?
- All right. I'll go back.

Dies can solve his own problems.

No, he'll catch a cold again.
No worries. See you in a bit.

Did you check?

Shit.

Shit

Hello.
- What?

Hi, Mum.

Jeez. Well, glad you found it.

Dies, come on.
- I need to go. Bye.

No crying.

No.

And no talking to myself.

And no stuffing my face either.

Oh no, you're not.
You're not lighting a fag.

No, the ice cream's not for you.
It's for the kids.

And I'm not talking to myself.
Just thinking out loud.

Not for you.

HEY-

Right. "Who is this guy again?"
- Um...

The boys' hockey coach. or...
Are you in politics?

So glad I made an impression.

How did you fare with the rabbit?

Oh, right. We buried him in the garden.

Having a kids' party?
- No, the kids are with...

Oh, crap.

Okay. Bye.

Morning.

Have a nice day.

Thank you. You too.

Hey, Smurfs.
- Hi, Mum.

I have a party tonight.
- But I thought we might...

Some people actually have friends.

Oh, yes. Thank you.

Bye.

So, how was it?

Dad has a new girlfriend.
- Does he now?

Bing saw her climb out of the window
this morning.

Climb out of...?
- Behind the caravan.

So that we wouldn't notice
she'd spent the night.

So she spent the night?

To have sex.
- That's gross.

So Dad did not introduce her to you.
Right?

No, then she would have left
through the door.

Either you come clean.
Or you wait until we're gone. Right?

I think they're in love.

Well, that's terrific news for Daddy.
I'm happy for him.

Dies, where's your crate?
- Over there somewhere.

No, it's not there.

I'll call Dad.

You do that. And tell him
that I'm on my way over.

Mum, don't. Mum.

Hey. You moron.

Oh.
- Hi.

Soot

Yeah, sorry.
- No, fine.

No worries. We're divorced.

You can do what you like,
with whoever you like.

One of the perks of this situation.

That we can do what we like.
With whoever we like.

And... I'm taking advantage of that too.

More than you know.

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Hello.

Cook wanted

Good to see you.
- You too.

Would you like a mojito?
- Don't mind if I do.

I'm so up for it.
- All right.

If you know what I mean.

Would you like to order, or...

Why don't we go straight upstairs?

I feel a bit overwhelmed.
- That's all right.

What are you doing?

Hey. I just spotted someone
I was meant to call for ages.

Sorry, I...
- But...

Hi, can I lake your coal?
- Sure.

Thank you.

HEY-

Hi. Sorry.
Soot

Berdien.
- Oh.

Did you like it?
- It could use some sugar.

Come.

For fuck's sake.

Isn't he yummy?
- Yes.

Speaking of yummy: What kind
of a restaurant do you run?

Well. Sort of French style.
- Nouvelle cuisine? Really?

I love French cuisine. Big fan.

Not their traditional stuff, of course.
Boeuf Bourguignon, cheese soufflé.

Seriously, no one goes for that anymore.

Right? At least, no one under fifty.

Or maybe those sad women
who've given up on themselves.

Comfort eaters. With giant hips.
- Well...

Left by their husbands,
but can't understand why...

stuffing themselves
with high-calorie foods.

Have you tasted the bread?
All gluten-free.

Only, I'm wondering...
Maybe you can help me out.

Doesn't it have too much salt?

It does, right? Just a tad.

Gluten-free bread.

"Isn't it too salty?"

Flavorless gluten-free pile of puke.

I wouldn't let my dentist use it
as a mold.

So you scoff at my cheese soufflé?
At my Boeuf Bourguignon?

You know what I find depressing?
Your tofu.

Even thinking about it,
has me constipated for weeks.

And I haven't given up on myself.

Gluten-free bread.

What moron ever thought of that?

Why is gluten-free bread
so horribly yucky?

Nice day.

Seen my charger?
- Sweet. And how are you?

Did you know? Our bodies contain
two and a half kilos of bacteria.

And you don't burn fat
when you drink alcohol.

Are you eating that?
- No.

Anything we need to discuss?
- Dad has a new bike.

Dies has catch-up homework
for spelling.

Are we going skiing?
- Course not.

But we always go skiing
on our spring break.

That was before
Mum and Dad's divorce.

Dad's a hipster.
- You wish.

Guys, I'm just myself.

Why do you have extra course work?
You always finish before time.

Is the manager cooking again?
Great.

Can I have a taste?
- Sure.

I'm experimenting.
- Nice.

Kids, say goodbye to your dad.

So my charger's still at your house.
- You'll have to go back for it.

Unlike your mum,
I won't run your errands.

Teacher asked why you weren't
at the parents' gathering.

God, your communication sucks.

Why don't you get a family diary?
- And then forget to pack it.

Why should I pack your things?

I didn't get divorced.
- As if it's a barrel of laughs for us.

And up she goes.

Sorry about the parents' gathering.

Yeah, if it had been
a teen gathering...

What was that?
- Nothing.

Well.

Good luck with your...
- Gluten-free bread.

Administration, I was going to say.
Bye, guys.

Dad's so annoying.

Pretending to be cool with his new bike,
and his trendy music.

He knows all the lyrics by heart.
Sad.

And he makes us do everything.

Cycle to school, make lunch,
put our clothes in the laundry basket.

And he's constantly on his phone,
texting.

And chuckling to himself.
- Okay. I'll be right back.

Jeez, Mum. Go and do something
that makes you happy.

Like cooking
-I'm doing that.

You call that cooking?
I call that taking out your anger.

Fill it out and send it in as soon as possible,
the man said.

I called them.

Soot
-Yes?

I'm on it. Really.
Honestly.

So...

If we go under,
we can stop looking for a cook.

We're not going under.
No way.

Okay, 'cause we're trying one out
and he's good.

I'm so glad you're taking care
of all this for me.

'Cause my head is spinning.

I can tell, darling.

You'll have to meet him, though.
So that we can take him on.

We are celebrating, right?

With cake. And eating out,
with Dad and Nana.

Exam results.
We'll get them after the holidays.

Do it at ours. Gives you a chance
to check out the new guy.

I...

I would like to introduce Doeka
to the kids.

You disapprove, but that has nothing
to do with them.

The whole thing
has nothing to do with them.

Yes, it is. I'm their dad.
I won't go behind their backs.

And why on earth not?

If it doesn't last, they'll have to deal
with another break-up.

I'm not having it.
- Who says it won't last?

Come on, she's a rebound girl.
- She's what?

Mum.
- Hey.

Show me, show me.

Top score?
- No.

Come here, you.
I'm so proud of you, professor.

High five.

Dies, is this yours?
- Yeah, but I'm cool with it.

Dies?

HEY-

Dies, your spelling.
Why the low mark?

I think I'm dyslectic.

It has nothing to do with our divorce.

It has everything to do with it.
This is a cry for attention.

Coming.

It could be anything.
Not everything is our fault.

Ask yourself why this has come up now.

No need to freak out.
Let him get on with it.

What? He's only twelve.
He can't handle it.

That'll be a while.
—Naturally.

I understand that you want your freedom,
but jeez.

Look at how you live.
So great for the kids.

Whatsapping with Rebound Girl all day.

What's that?
- You heard me.

What are you trying to say?

That I'm a lousy dad? Is that it?

Why are you arguing?
You're already divorced.

I... I'm not coming tonight.

God, I didn't mean it that way.

I'll say goodbye to the boys.

Me first.
- No, me.

Let me order.

Two starters to kick us off.

Thought it best not to tell Bauke
who you are.

Smart plan. I'm excited.

It's a bit quiet.

Gives him a chance to find his bearings.

Is Kasper parking the car?
- No, he...

Daddy had work to do.
- In his bedroom.

Some DIY.

Look here.

What is this?

What is this?
- Do you not know?

An amuse. Deep-fried buckwheat
and tofu, and a candied kumquat.

Served with a purple carrot
and blossom biscuit.

This new cook is not a health freak,
is he?

Have a taste first.

Right. You like that, don't you?
- It's wonderful.

God, sorry. Soof.

We didn't want to make you nervous.

But you did. Just kidding.

You're hired.
- Thank you.

Did you enjoy your meal?

It was delicious. Right, boys?

Yes.
- Yes? Okay, great.

Tell you what. I'll take the kids.

And leave you two to exchange recipes.

Why?
- Come.

Get your coats on.

Which one's yours?
- This one.

Coat
-That one's mine.

I was thinking, a green tea sorbet.
A twist of lime. And...

Hey.

Hey.
- Hi.

Hi.

Hello.

Hey!

Wanna meet up?

Can't find my red shoes.
Did I leave them at your house?

Oh, no. My receipts.

Oh, no.

My mum says I need to
get to know you better first...

What is your star sign?

And your shoe size?

Do you like hard

sorry, glitch - or soft-boiled eggs?

Guys.

Hey, boys.

Time to get up.

Bing, Dies, Sas.
- No need to shout.

Are you watching TV?
- It's Saturday.

I know, I know.
Come, let's have breakfast.

What's with all the receipts?

Mum's in love.

Nonsense. What gave you that idea?
- With that new cook?

What's up?
- Nothing.

Oh. Mum?

I'm going to live with Dad.
- What?

Don't you want to live with me?

Don't look at me like that.
It's not about you, but about me.

It's only for a year.
As soon as I have my diploma, I'm off.

Bye, Sas.
- Bye, Mum.

Bye now.

Right.

Hey.
- Hi.

I lied about my Mum.
- I figured as much.

Here.
- Thanks.

Since I met you, I'm dreaming up
the most amazing recipes.

Here.

My receipts.
- Smart.

So, what are we making?

Um... Something with buckwheat.
- Okay.

Music?
- Please.

Interesting.
- Why did you stop cooking?

Don't know.
I got bored after quail no. 385.

And I wanted to spend more time
with my kids.

Good news for the quails.

Here.

Try this.

Who said you had to cook no. 386?

You can do whatever you want, right?

Wine?
- Yes, wine.

I have an idea.

It is a cry for attention.
The divorce, the new house.

Switching between me and his Dad.
And his new girlfriend.

Not that I mind. I'm happy for him.

Except that he shouldn't have
introduced her to the kids.

But that doesn't concern you.
Nor do my issues with tax payments.

But Dies must not end up...

in a dyslexia class
where he doesn't belong.

I don't think he'll need to go
to a dyslexia class.

No?
- I see no reason why.

A test is just a snapshot.

But I think your personal problems...

Sorry, what are you implying?
- Well, I just heard...

When Soof's worried,
she drags everything into it.

Not smart, but she means well.

The question remains why Dies
suddenly has problems spelling.

That's why we're here. Right?

As I was saying.
That has a very different reason.

Do you know about Laila?

Want a lift?
- Please.

Sorry about earlier. I was out of line.

And sorry about last time too.

You're not a bad father at all.

How are you getting on
with your paperwork?

I'm sort of bankrupt.

Shall I take it with me?
I might be able to fix it.

Sas no longer wants to live with me.
- I know.

It's nothing to do with you.
She hates moving between houses.

But she's opting for yours.

She wants to do her own thing
and that's easier at mine.

Maybe you're right.

Sorry?

What am I?

Maybe you're...

I didn't quite get that. Maybe you could
repeat it once more?

I met someone too.
- Oh?

Yes...

Someone nice?

Well...

No, very nice.

Hi.

We just went to see your teacher.

And she said there's
absolutely nothing wrong with you.

Those tests are just snapshots.

Dies. Hey? That's great, right?

Dies, can you put it on pause?

Let go.
- We went there for you.

I didn't ask you to. I'm not ashamed
of being dyslexic.

Because Laila has it too?

Sometimes when you're in love,
you want to become like that person.

But you don't need to.
- No.

Accepting that you're different.
That is true love.

True love.

What would you know about that?

Hey, glad you're here.

Your mum took a reservation for twelve.

Everybody's working their socks off.

But Bauke is turning out
to be a control freak.

Give me your apron.
You go help my mum.

Hey.
- Muchacha.

Are the starters ready to go?

Let me hold my girl. Come here.

These are ready to serve, right?
- One moment.

Okay.

There's still a small drop there.
- Oh. Thank you.

This looks great. Start sewing.

Wait, wait. Just a minute.

Great.

Hey.
- Okay, I get the message.

Right, chef. What will it be?

What's wrong?

Have you not decided?

No, of course I have.

Except I think I need to approach it
differently.

If we don't start now, we'll keep them
waiting for another hour.

So?

Wait. Sssh.

Where are you going?

To take a slash. If that's okay.

There's an upside to every setback.

You know why he's come into your life,
don't you?

To give you back your joy for living.

Virgo, right? Charming, imaginative.
But also hung up on detail.

Now you think that's fine, but in time,
it will start to irritate you.

All right, all right.

Yes?
- I'm thinking: sautéed mushrooms.

Fry them until crisp.

Served with a parsnip puree.
And a beurre blanc.

Yes? Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Yes, I'm coming.

That was quite a night.
- Right.

But your Jim thought it was sublime.
Yes, yes.

Just like that little lady of his.

Even though she moaned
about the other guests.

What other guests?
- Yeah. Precisely.

Shame about the lovely venue, she said.
- Oh, did she now?

Hey. Kas. Nothing wrong
with the boys, is there?

No, I need your signature.

This needs to be with the tax
authorities by tomorrow morning.

So quick. You're good.

Doeka has this accounting program.
It was a piece of cake.

You sit down while I gel a pen.

Hi. Anna.
- Kasper. Hello.

Baby. Baby!

Mum.

Oh, shit.
- Mum.

I'm going downstairs.
You stay here and be quiet.

Mum.

Coming.

I thought you weren't coming
until after school.

We need to bring stuff for the musical.
Do you have my script?

I'll look upstairs, you look down here.
We'll look together.

How's Daddy? All good?
- Doeka is there.

No. No, no, no.
- Yes, she is.

So? Is it fun?

All right. She's always there.
- Oh.

How long do I need to hide?
Till they've left home?

What was that?

Got it.
- My script?

In the toilet.
- Oh, great.

You know what they say.
When in doubt, don't do it.

Mum, hurry. We can't be late
for rehearsal.

Well, well.

Have you had breakfast?
- No.

Why does Dad let you leave like that?
Take a banana.

Bye, boys.
- Bye.

Have fun, all right?

Okay.

Look.

Right. Move over.

Guys, I have something to tell you.

There's someone...
- No.

He puked on her
while she's giving him a blowjob.

A what?

All right. Um...

I really need to...

What's this?
- What?

Yuck, that's gross.
- It's a hair.

A hair?
- A pube. You need to shave.

Mum, I have a pube.
- Lovely, darling.

You need to shave it off.
Only women like Mum don't.

I have a pube, and you don't.
- Says who? Maybe I have one too.

Bing.

Can I look?
- No.

Are you sure you want to tell us
what you wanted to tell us?

Because if not, I'm not sure
that I want to know.

No, I know.

Do you remember? Oh, my god.
Look.

That doesn't work with Insta.

Don't you like it?
Or don't you get it?

Look.

Laila, come.

I quit smoking a while ago.

Because there was no future in it.

I knew I had to quit at some point.

So it seemed best to gel it
over with straightaway.

You're Virgo, right?
- Why?

Imaginative, with an eye for detail.

Organized.
Strong drive for independence.

Well, I...

The next six years
I won't be independent.

You have your kids.
- Only every other week.

I have a messy life.

And tons of obligations.
And no time for details at all.

No, I...

Details make you happy.
- Very.

You want to live life to perfection.

You can't do that with me.

Because I can't.

And we both know it.

I know where this is heading.
- So...

Thanks for all the good times, I guess.

It was great being with you.
You're super.

Hey.
- Hi.

This is Laila.

Hi.
- Hello.

It's running.

Yes?

Hey, Kasper.

Oh, no.
- Let's sit down.

Is it that bad?
- Depends.

The good news is:
You don't have to pay.

But that's because
you barely made any money.

You can't go on like this, Soof.

And that also affects me, as co-owner.

So?

Jim's girlfriend's interested.
She made us a good offer.

You mean gluten-free Anna?

I think you need to take it.
I see no other way out.

I thought, Dad's here by car...

Sas, your timing is...
- No, sure. I understand.

I'll put those bags in the car
while you get the rest.

You're not mad?
- No. Why would I be, silly?

If you ever want to crash on my sofa
to watch trashy TV shows...

be my guest.

Mi casa es tu casa.
- Yes. Thanks, Mum.

Hi.

HEY-

Hi.

Hi Doeka, nice to meet you.
- And you.

All those parents. So much fuss
over a simple school trip.

Hi. And you are?
- Doeka.

I thought as much.

How are things?
- Well.

Bauke quit. But I get that.

And have you thought about the offer?

You need to start making up your mind.

Get your bikes. We're going.

Where's Dies? Where's your brother?

He's necking.
- What?

He's making out.
- Where?

Right there.

By the way, have you told Mum yet?
- What?

I was getting to it.
- We're going to the camp site.

What? Our camp site?

The boys wanted to.
So I thought, why not?

Together?
- Taking turns.

You drive up in my car,
and I'll take over after two weeks.

Does that include me?

How will I get home?
- In Doeka's car.

Great, right?
- Sure.

Four weeks camping with my parents.
You've got to be kidding.

Bing, go get Dies. I think you're off.

Dies.

Why don't you lake the summer to think?

And we'll decide after. All right?

All right, bye.
- Bye.

Bye.

So...

Yes...
- All right. Great.

Shall we go?
- Okay. Bye.

Right.

I told you. Men are much better
at putting themselves first.

Thanks, Mum. Rub it in.

Your kids will survive if you start
looking out for yourself a bit.

Look how well you turned out.
- Me?

I screw up all my relationships,
I let my business go under.

And I am an emotional wreck.
- Stop moaning.

You're trying to make the best of it.

Nana's right. You should tell us
to piss off more.

Thanks, love.

Those camping plans did sound fun.
They made Bing happy.

But you don't have to
do it all Dad's way.

You need to take control.

And when you drive back
in that floozy's car...

be sure to let out some juicy farts.
Should be no problem after camping out.

I'm in that car too.
- So you can take turns.

Don't forget the glove compartment.
You can let out a few in there.

Maybe Laila's gone swimming.

She's online.
- How do you know?

You can see it, Mum.
- Oh.

Does Laila have a sister?
- A brother.

So maybe it's her brother on her phone.

For three days?

I'm going to chill over there.

Love mends all.

By the way, I've given up smoking.
- What? When did you even start?

Sorry.
- What for?

For everything.

I thought I could protect you
from everything.

Pain, separation. Loss, divorce.
Smoking.

Mum, everything's going to be all right.

With me, with you.
Maybe even with your work.

You think?
- Sure. Why not?

KookSoofs gone under.
But you haven't.

So shall we do an ice cream too?
Let's.

Can't you come?
- No, hon. I can't.

Just for the party. Just the one night.
- I'm heading off when Dad gets here.

Because of Doeka, right?
- Not at all.

Go change. You loo, Sas.

You don't say.
- We didn't meet in school.

The vet?
- Right.

Are you on holiday here?

Crazy, right?
- Quite.

Don't start thinking I followed you.

Thomas.
- I'm coming.

We biked. Would have been a stretch
just to follow you.

He's waiting for the groceries.
I had trouble finding everything.

Say, are you leaving?
Or just arriving?

I'm leaving.
At least, that was the idea.

Us too. Tomorrow.

Don't start thinking we're leaving
because you are.

We stop at a camp site
for two nights.

We're staying for Quatorze Juillet.
(Bastille Day - national day of France)

And then we go.
- Right.

Right.

All right.

Have fun, Thomas.

You too...
- So-phee. Sophie.

Thomas.
- He's really getting impatient.

Better be careful.

Bye, So-phee.
- Bye, Thomas.

Watch out.

Shall we sit here?

Right.

Nothing?
- No.

Bonjour.
- Hey.

I see you decided to slay?
- Just for the one night.

Sas, this is Thomas.
Thomas, this is Sacha. My daughter.

Sacha.
- Hi.

Sad to be leaving tomorrow?
- I'm staying on with my Dad.

My ex. He's my ex.
We're taking turns.

Thomas.

And you? Biking holiday with your
boyfriend? Or are you married?

Well, I think that would be
against the law.

Arthur is my brother. He just broke up
with his boyfriend.

He's a mess. Needed a break.

Sweet of you.

But next time I'll simply take him
out to dinner. or something.

I run a restaurant.
- Really?

For now. Again, really.

You should drop by, if you like.
- Great idea.

Daddy.
- I'd love to.

Your ex.
- Yes.

I'll drop by for a meal.
- Really?

Save travels.
- You too.

Bye.

Sorry.

Your mum's car doesn't do
more than 60. And it overheats.

My mum's car?
And what's up with your phone?

I couldn't charge it.
Tobacco in the cigarette lighter.

You don't want to know.

She asks if you want to come.
Off you go.

I understood what she said.

I'm also going...
- Sure.

Would you mind if I...?
- No, fine. Have fun.

Where is Doeka?
- Well...

She's sweet, but...
- You broke up with her.

She has never seen a fax machine.

And she didn't know who Snap is.
- I got the power.

Yeah, you know those things.

Hey...
- Sorry, you ...

No, you. You were talking.
- Right.

I've arranged the sales contracts.
We can sign after the holidays.

I said I'd think about it.
- I thought...

And I won't sell.

I'm holding on to it.

I have a deal with Anna.
I can't just...

I can, you can. Tin can.

I'll buy you out.

How?
- I don't know.

But at least I'll have tried.

And I'm going to start cooking again.
- Okay.

Okay.

What?

Well, you.
- What do you mean "you"?

Well, just... you.

You know.

Well, jeez. You.
You being you.

Which I like.

So.

You didn't like me so much last year.
- Right.

That's true.

I look you for granted.

Just like I took you for granted.

I've been so stupid.
- What?

You know.

I was so stupid to let you go.

Can't we...
- No.

No, really.

We didn't separate on a whim.
It was a wise move.

You can see me again
because you have more distance now.

And I'm happy-

Happy with how things are going.

Right.

So...

So actually
we're happily divorced.

And they lived separately ever after.

Till death kills the spark.

Another Orangina? Or...
Something alcoholic, please.

Okay.

You don't say.

Yes.
- Hey.

It's a shame that the piles of laundry...

and all the other stupid tasks
that come with marriage...

finally got the better of us.

After all, we used to be
destined for each other.

And something of that promise
always remains.

Even if only through the kids.

The solution for KookSoof
proved remarkably simple.

I simply needed to return
to what I was destined to do:

Cooking.

Then everyone wanted to be
part of it again.

The bank. The lax man.
My crazy mother.

My ex-husband. My ex-lover.
Gabi.

And the future father of Gabi's kids.

Oh, and Najat, of course.

And...
I hope he's not here to stay.

As for love,
the last word has not been spoken.

A part of me thinks it's fine.
I'll load the dishwasher on my own.

But I'll always be a social animal
that wants to share her life with another.

In sickness and in health.

And preferably 'till death do us part.