Snow Bride (2013) - full transcript

[We Wish You a Merry Christmas]

♪

[cracks]

♪

[bell dings]

GRETA KANE.

I HAVE
YOUR DECAF SOY VANILLA LATTE

- AND A GLUTEN-FREE BAGEL.
- THANK YOU.

- AND THANK YOU.
- [scoffs]

THAT IS MY BREAKFAST, AL.

YEAH?
WELL, HERE'S YOUR DINNER, BABY.



THANK YOU.

OOH. DECAF.
WHAT'S THE POINT OF THAT?

NICE SHOES.

HEY, THAT BIEBER KID CAN RUN.
I GOTTA KEEP UP.

AREN'T YOU GONNA CHECK 'EM OUT?

PHOTOS OF A MARRIED ACTOR
CHEATING, HMM?

COME ON. YOU KNOW
THAT TRUE LOVE IS A MYTH.

YOU'VE BEEN SINGLE
LONG ENOUGH.

SHOULDN'T BE, THOUGH.
I LIKE YOUR HAIR LIKE THIS.

GIVE IT UP, AL.

I'D LIKE TO THINK
THAT TRUE LOVE IS JUST A MYTH

FOR THE RICH AND FAMOUS,

WHICH IS WHY WE HAVE
THESE LOVELY PHOTOS OF--

- WOW.
- YEAH. THIS WAY



- [cell phone chimes]
- WOW.

OOH, DWIGHT YOAKAM'S
EATING SUSHI. I GOTTA GO.

BUT NEXT TIME GET ME A DOUBLE
ESPRESSO AND A CHEESE DANISH.

BRACE YOURSELF.

OH, DORIA.
YOU LOOK...

LIKE MERINGUE EXPLODED.

I'M A GIANT POWDER PUFF.

YOU KNOW, WE'LL FIX IT.

IT IS OKAY.
OKAY.

SO ALL THE WOMEN
IN KEVIN'S FAMILY WEAR IT,

AND I'M GONNA WEAR IT.

IT'S A LOVE TRADITION.

MY COUSIN RON HAS BEEN
ASKING ABOUT YOU.

HE'S VERY...HANDSOME.

- HE'S ORANGE.
- YEAH.

ACTORS HAVE TO SPRAY TAN.
IT IS PART OF THE JOB.

WHAT ABOUT CARLOS?

UH, HE'S 4'10", AND BESIDES,
I'M MARRIED TO MY JOB.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU
STILL WORK FOR THAT GOSSIP RAG.

[sighs] BECAUSE THE BILLS
DON'T PAY THEMSELVES.

I'M SERIOUS, GRETA.

YOU ARE PHI BETA KAPPA
FROM STANFORD.

WELL, I HAPPEN TO BE
GOOD AT IT.

BESIDES, FINDING A PRESTIGIOUS
JOB WITH A JOURNALISM DEGREE

IS ABOUT AS DIFFICULT
AS FINDING A DECENT GUY IN L.A.

CYNIC.

- REALIST.
- SMUDGE!

- NO, NO, NO! NO, NO, NO SMUDGE!
- I SEE IT! I SEE IT!

WE'LL HAVE IT OUT
BY TOMORROW AFTERNOON.

TOMORROW AFTERNOON KEVIN AND I
ARE MEETING THE FLORIST

FOR LAST-MINUTE CHANGES.

OKAY, DON'T STRESS.
THE CEREMONY'S NOT TOMORROW.

DON'T STRESS.

I HAVE EVERY MOMENT OF NEXT WEEK
PLANNED UNTIL I LAND IN HAWAII

AND SOMEONE HANDS ME A LITTLE
DRINK WITH AN UMBRELLA IN IT.

I DO NOT HAVE TIME
TO PICK UP THIS DRESS AGAIN!

OKAY, BRIDEZILLA,
I LOVE YOU.

I WILL PICK UP THIS DRESS
FOR YOU TOMORROW AFTER THE GYM,

AND I WILL KEEP IT
TOTALLY SAFE.

- REALLY?
- YES.

- OH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
- [laughs]

[orchestral music]

♪

- WOW!
- LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.

- WOW!
- [laughs]

MY ILLUSIONS--
THEY'RE SHATTERED.

WAIT TILL YOU COVER
YOUR FIRST BOY BAND.

HE JUST GOT MARRIED TOO.

THAT IS NOT
OUR RESPONSIBILITY.

I KNOW, BUT--

JULIE, YOU KNOW THE DEAL.
THEY SIN, WE REPORT.

IT'S THE CIRCLE
OF CELEB LIFE,

AND WE CAN'T
FEEL BAD FOR THEM.

AS SOON AS WE START
TO FEEL BAD FOR THEM,

WE CAN'T WRITE
ABOUT THEM ANYMORE.

AND BELIEVE ME, I HAVE WORKED
HERE LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW

THESE FOLKS
DON'T DESERVE OUR SYMPATHY.

HEY, GRETA. GOOD ONE
ON BEACH BODIES GONE BAD.

[chuckles]
THANKS, BILL.

GRETA!

WES! IN MY OFFICE, PRONTO!

WES?

WHY IS HE CALLING
FOR WES THE WEASEL?

I HEARD A RUMOR--

CHRIS HALLOCK LEFT US
FOR THE GLOBE.

I WANT THE JONAS BROTHERS.

HE CAN HAVE
THE JONAS BROTHERS.

I DON'T WANT
THE JONAS BROTHERS.

THIS ISN'T
ABOUT THE JONAS BROTHERS.

HALLOCK WAS GONNA HELP US
LAUNCH PULSE! GOSSIP ONLINE.

- WE'RE ALREADY ONLINE.
- EXCLUSIVELY.

NO MORE PRINT.

LIKE NEWSWEEK DID.

YEAH,
BUT WITH MORE BEYONCE.

THING IS WE NEED
A STORY FOR THE LAUNCH,

SO LET'S TALK THE TANNENHILLS.

- TANNENHILLS?
- WEST COAST KENNEDYS.

- YEAH, SURE.
- SENATOR EVAN TANNENHILL

WAS GONNA MAKE A RUN
FOR THE PRESIDENCY, BUT--

BUT DIED OF A HEART ATTACK

BEFORE HIS PLANS
GOT OFF THE GROUND.

- HIS WIDOW MAGGIE TANNENHILL--
- IS BIG INTO PHILANTHROPY.

CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL,
GETTY, RED CROSS.

- TWO SONS.
- BENJAMIN, JARED.

MOST OF THE GOSSIP THE PAST
FEW YEARS HAS BEEN ABOUT JARED.

THOUGH BEN TANNENHILL
DID HAVE

THAT BIG BREAKUP
WITH A SOCIALITE.

- CLAIRE SINCLAIRE.
- OVER A YEAR AGO.

BUT NOBODY SEEMS TO KNOW
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED THERE.

OH, PLEASE.

HE WANTED TO PLAY THE FIELD,
AND SHE GOT IN THE WAY.

TANNENHILLS ARE GONNA BE

AT THEIR BIG BEAR ESTATE
NEXT WEEK FOR CHRISTMAS,

FIRST ONE
SINCE THE SENATOR'S DEATH.

RUMOR HAS IT
ONE OF THE TANNENHILL BOYS

HAS BOUGHT
AN ENGAGEMENT RING.

WELL, IT HAS TO BE BEN.

JARED HASN'T HAD
THE SAME GIRLFRIEND

- FOR TWO CONSECUTIVE SECONDS.
- WHO'S THE WOMAN?

THAT'S WHAT I WANT YOU
TO FIND OUT

AND ANYTHING ELSE
ALONG THE WAY.

- both: WHO TO FIND OUT?
- WHOEVER GETS THERE FIRST.

- SOUNDS LIKE A CHALLENGE.
- IT IS.

YOU TWO
ARE MY BEST REPORTERS.

WHOEVER GETS THIS STORY

GETS TO RUN
THE NEW PULSE! GOSSIP ONLINE.

[typing]

HELLO, HANDSOME.

OKAY, BEN TANNENHILL,
WHO IS IT NOW?

[typing]

CLAIRE SINCLAIRE.

HEY, JULES,
HAVE YOU SEEN WES?

HE DIDN'T COME BACK TODAY.

[sighs] COULD YOU
FIND OUT WHERE HE IS?

- I HAVE SOME ERRANDS TO RUN.
- I'M ON IT.

[phone rings]

HEY, JULES.

DON'T FREAK,
BUT MAGGIE TANNENHILL

ARRIVED AT BIG BEAR
YESTERDAY.

THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED
TO HAPPEN TILL NEXT WEEK.

THAT'S NOT ALL.
WES IS ALREADY THERE.

WHAT?
WES IS GONNA GET MY STORY!

- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
- THE ONLY THING I CAN.

[beeps]

NOT GONNA GET MY STORY.

[sighs]

[brakes squeal]

[tires screech]
[sighs]

[groans]

[cheerful orchestral music]

♪

ARE YOU SURE
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT ADDRESS?

ALL I SEE IS SNOW.

WHAT WAS THE NAME
OF THE LAST ROAD YOU PASSED?

UH, PINEVIEW.

YOU SHOULD BE GETTING
CLOSE TO THE TANNENHILL ESTATE.

AWESOME.

GRETA, DID YOU
BY SOME CHANCE PACK ANYTHING

BEFORE YOU DASHED OFF
IN A COMPETITIVE FURY?

I'LL BUY SOMETHING
WHEN I'M UP THERE.

TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE.
WES CANNOT WIN.

UH-HUH. AND HAVE YOU THOUGHT
ABOUT WHERE YOU'RE GONNA STAY?

- STAY?
- YOU KNOW.

MOTEL, HOTEL, MANGER.
IT IS THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

FORGOT ABOUT THAT.

DEAREST BOSS LADY,
WHOM I ADORE,

THIS IS NOT
YOUR CLEAREST THOUGHT-OUT PLAN.

METHINKS YOU NEED TO COME BACK,
PLOT THIS CORRECTLY.

HA! CAN'T TURN BACK NOW.
MM-MM.

JULIE?

GRETA?

GRETA, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

JULES?

JULIE? HELLO.

- [clicking, beep]
- OH, BOY.

[sighs]
OKAY. OKAY.

[mutters]

[thud]
OH!

IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
I GOT THIS.

[engine revving]
COME ON.

COME ON.
COME ON, GIRL!

COME ON!
[engine revs]

OKAY, OKAY.

WHOO! OH, IT'S COLD!
OH, MY GOD.

JUST GONNA PUSH.
JUST GONNA--

[grunts]

OKAY. OKAY. NOT WORKING.
NOT WORKING.

OKAY. OKAY. OKAY.

OOH!
OKAY. OKAY.

OKAY. OKAY.

COME ON.
COME ON.

RECEPTION.
GET RECEPTION.

GET RECEPTION, COME ON.

COME ON. ANYTHING?

[sighs]
OKAY. OKAY.

OKAY. OKAY.

SO COLD.
[sighs]

[sighs]

[groans]

I WILL NOT PANIC.

PANICKING--
[engine dies]

[sighs]

[shivering]

[whimpers]

I AM SO SORRY, BRIDEZILLA,
BUT THIS IS SURVIVAL.

OKAY.

YOU WILL THANK ME
WHEN I AM STILL

A BRIDESMAID AT THE WEDDING.

[grunting]

OH, YOU MUST LOVE HIM.

OKAY. OKAY.
OKAY.

[gasps]

OKAY.

WHOA!

[grunts]

WHY? WHY?

AH!

WHOA!

[wood clatters]

ALL RIGHT, COME ON.
COME ON.

[grunts]

THERE YOU ARE.

ALL RIGHT.
[dog whimpers]

ALL RIGHT.

[rubbing Greta's hand]
COME ON.

HI.

HI?

YOU NEARLY JUST DIE
IN A SNOWSTORM,

AND ALL YOU GOT IS "HI."

- OH.
- OKAY. [grunts]

THERE YOU GO.
TAKE IT EASY.

- [sighs]
- YOU OKAY?

UH, YEAH, UH--

UH, I'M--

I'M SORRY,
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

I SAID, JUDGING BY YOUR OUTFIT
AND LACK OF GROOM,

YOU DON'T SEEM TO BE
HAVING A GREAT DAY.

[chuckles]
UH, YEAH, NO.

NOT SO MUCH.

LET ME GUESS.
RUNAWAY BRIDE?

RUNAWAY ALMOST BRIDE.

IT'S, UM...

I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT.

WELL, YOU, UH, DEFINITELY
GOT THE SHOES FOR THE RUNNING.

THAT IS AN INSIDE JOKE
BETWEEN ME AND MY FIANCE...

- HMM.
- UH, AL.

AL LOVES RUNNING SHOES.

- AND CHEESE DANISH.
- HMM.

SORRY.

IT'S OKAY, YOU KNOW,
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE.

IN TIME.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

I'M GRETA KANE--
NABLESTEINSKI.

- KANENABLEST--
- STEINSKI.

- WOW, THAT'S A--
- MM-HMM.

WH-- WHERE'S THAT FROM?

- ELLIS ISLAND.
- AH.

THEY JUST, YOU KNOW,
BLENDED THE FAMILIES WHEN ST--

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

BEN.

JUST BEN?

JUST BEN.

AND THIS-- THIS IS BRUDY.

[laughs]
NICE TO MEET YOU, JUST BRUDY.

HI.
[smooches, laughs]

GOOD BOY.

JUST BEN, DO YOU-- DO YOU THINK
I COULD BORROW YOUR PHONE?

YOU CAN, BUT IT'S NOT GONNA
DO YOU ANY GOOD.

THE LANDLINE'S
CURRENTLY DOWN,

AND THIS PLACE DOESN'T
GET CELL RECEPTION.

AND WITH THIS STORM, NO ONE
IS GOING ANYWHERE TONIGHT.

OKAY.

I'M GUESSING YOU DIDN'T PACK A
CHANGE OF CLOTHES BEFORE YOU...

[laughs] UH, NO, IT'S--
TODAY'S JUST BEEN ONE OF THOSE,

YOU KNOW, SPUR-OF-THE-MOMENT,
REALLY WEIRD KIND OF DAYS.

- IT LOOKS THAT WAY.
- YEAH.

WELL...

I DON'T THINK WE'RE
EXACTLY THE SAME SIZE, BUT...

VOILA.

THE LATEST
IN LADY LUMBERJACK COUTURE.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN
SO HAPPY TO SEE FLANNEL.

I AM SO DEAD.

[O Come, All Ye Faithful]

♪

UH, HOPE YOU LIKE
CHAMOMILE.

OH, YEAH.
ANYTHING WARM.

SO, UM, THIS IS
THE GUEST ROOM,

AND, UH, WE'LL TAKE CARE
OF YOUR CAR IN THE MORNING.

- THANK YOU.
- OKAY.

YOU, UH,
HAVE A LOVELY HOME.

IS IT JUST YOU?

- AND BRUDY AND NOW YOU.
- MM.

ACTUALLY, THIS IS
THE CARETAKER'S CABIN

FOR A BIGGER ESTATE.

YOU HEARD OF THE TANNENHILLS?

TANNENHILL.

YEAH, THAT NAME
SOUNDS FAMILIAR.

EVAN TANNENHILL
WAS A SENATOR FOR MANY YEARS.

YES.

RIGHT.
[chuckles] OF COURSE.

AND THIS WAS HIS RETREAT.

BUT NOW THIS IS
THE CARETAKER'S CABIN.

THAT'S RIGHT.

THE ESTATE'S
A 1/2 MILE UP THE ROAD.

SO THAT MAKES YOU...

YOUR CARETAKER
FOR THE EVENING.

[glasses clink]

WELL, ALL RIGHTY.
[chuckles]

MM. WHAT'S THIS?

UH, JUST--

IT'S NOTHING.

STUFF.

OKAY?

[chuckles] NOTHING LOOKS
A WHOLE LOT LIKE A BOOK.

GOOD NIGHT.

OH.
[squeals]

[Jingle Bells]

♪

OH.

GOOD MORNING,
JUST BEN AND BRUDY.

GOOD MORNING,
SNOW BRIDE.

[chuckles]

SNOW BRIDE?

YEAH, YOU KNOW,
BECAUSE, UH...

TOO SOON?

HUMOR IS THE BEST FORM
OF REVENGE.

YEAH, I DON'T THINK
THAT'S HOW THE SAYING GOES.

IT DOES NOW.

I CHECKED YOUR CAR.

- OH.
- GOOD JOB WITH THAT.

IT'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

AT LEAST NOT UNTIL WE GET
A TOW TRUCK UP HERE.

AND HOW WILL WE DO THAT
WITH NO WORKING PHONE?

UM, I'M DUE
UP AT THE ESTATE HOUSE.

I CAN CALL FROM THERE.

YOU HUNGRY?

A LITTLE BIT.
[chuckles]

I'LL SEE
WHAT I CAN SCRAPE UP.

BACON.

YEA OR NAY?

BACON. YES.
I AM YEA FOR BACON.

- [chuckles]
- GOOD.

WHAT IS IT YOU DO, EXACTLY?

I'M...IN FLUX.

YEAH, ESPECIALLY
AFTER WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY.

- HUH? OH, RIGHT, THAT.
- HOW ARE YOU DOING...

WITH THAT?

IT'S LIKE I FEEL NOTHING.

I ALMOST HAD
A FIANCEE ONCE,

SO I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH.

WHAT HAPPENED?

SHE WAS NOT
WHAT SHE APPEARED TO BE.

[knock at door]

UH...

- [chuckles]
- [chuckles]

OH. OH.
[blows]

BENJAMIN, I APPRECIATE

THAT THIS SUPER SECRET PROJECT
OF YOURS

- REQUIRES ABSOLUTE SOLITUDE.
- IT DOES.

BUT I DO WISH THE LANDLINE
TO BE REACTIVATED.

PHONES ARE A DISTRACTION.

PHONES ALLOW COMMUNICATIONS
OVER GREAT DISTANCES

MUCH EASIER ON MEN
OF A CERTAIN AGE WHO HAVE

TO WALK THROUGH THE COLD
TO RELAY AN OTHERWISE VERY...

[sighs]
VERY SIMPLE MESSAGE.

SORRY, PETERS.
BUT THE QUIET WAS HELPFUL.

WONDERFUL, NOW, YOUR MOTHER
WOULD LIKE TO KNOW

WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE JOINING
HER AND YOUR BROTHER FOR BRUNCH.

- IS JARED HERE?
- HE'S ON HIS WAY.

UM...
I'LL BE UP WITHIN THE HOUR.

MARVELOUS.

OH, UH...

THERE'S AN EXTRA RAZOR
IN THE BATHROOM CABINET.

THANKS, PETERS.

METHINKS JUST BEN
IS NOT THE CARETAKER.

TECHNICALLY, THAT WOULD
BE PETERS, WHO JUST LEFT.

SOMETIMES I BORROW
HIS PLACE.

THOUGH, TECHNICALLY,
IT BELONGS TO MY FAMILY.

SO, TECHNICALLY,
THAT MAKES YOU...

BEN TANNENHILL.

[chuckles]

WOW.

LOOK, I'M SORRY
ABOUT MISLEADING YOU.

IT WAS JUST...

NICE BEING JUST BEN
FOR A WHILE.

[smoke alarm beeping]

[gasps]

[sighs]

- WELL, SO MUCH FOR THE BACON.
- [laughs]

IT'S OKAY.
I'M FINE.

YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU'LL
COME UP TO THE HOUSE WITH ME.

WE'LL GET YOU FED,
AND I'LL CALL THE TOW TRUCK.

[birds chirping]

[Hark! The Herald Angels Sing]

♪

MOM?

PETERS?

HELLO.

YOU KNOW WHAT,
WAIT HERE WHILE I GO FIND THEM.

- OKAY.
- OKAY.

ANYBODY?

EXCUSE ME, MISS.

- UH...
- MAY I HELP YOU?

YOU'RE MAGGIE TANNENHILL.

YES.

DO YOU HAVE
SOMETHING FOR ME?

- HAVE SOMETHING?
- A PACKAGE FOR ME?

BECAUSE ALL PACKAGES
GO THROUGH PETERS.

OH, NO, I--
[chuckles]

UH, RIGHT.
PETERS--

I SAW HIM SORT OF--

DID PETERS
JUST LEAVE YOU HERE?

- HOW UNLIKE HIM.
- MOM.

- BEN.
- HEY.

WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME
YOU CAME UP

FROM THAT LONELY,
LITTLE CABIN.

- WELL--
- AND YOU SHAVED.

YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE
A PROTESTER ANYMORE.

HELLO, BRUDY. COME HERE.
I WANT A HUG.

- MOM, DON'T OVERINDULGE HIM.
- OH, OF COURSE I WILL.

SPEAKING OF OVERINDULGENCE,

YOUR BROTHER AND HIS MYSTERY
GUEST WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.

HIS MYSTERY GUEST?

YEAH, JARED CALLED
THIS MORNING AND SAID THAT

HE'S BRINGING A GUEST,
AND THAT WE WOULD BE SURPRISED.

JARED AND HIS GUEST
HAVE JUST PULLED UP.

- IS SHE BLONDE OR BLONDER?
- [chuckles]

BENJAMIN, I-I THINK YOU--

WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE CHRISTMAS
WEEK CAN FINALLY BEGIN.

JARED, HONEY.

- MOM.
- MERRY CHRISTMAS.

OH, IT'S SO GREAT
TO SEE YOU.

YOU LOOK GREAT.
LOOK AT YOU.

[mocking British accent]
OH, PETERS,

HOW ARE YOU, SIR?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- YOU GOOD?
- GOOD.

BEN, LOOK.
I TRIED TO CALL YOU.

I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU, BUT,
WELL, YOUR PHONE WAS TURNED OFF.

TELL ME WHAT?

[gasps]

HI, BEN.

CLAIRE, WHAT A SURPRISE
TO SEE YOU HERE AGAIN.

ALWAYS A PLEASURE, MAGGIE.

UH, WELL, WE-- WE BUMPED
INTO EACH OTHER OVER HALLOWEEN.

HALLOWEEN.

YEAH, WELL, UH--

WELL, I WAS IN NEW YORK,
AND, WELL...

WELL, WHAT--
WHAT JARED IS TRYING TO SAY

IS THAT WE'RE DATING.

FOR OBVIOUS REASONS,

WE WANTED TO WAIT
AND SEE WHERE IT DEVELOPS

BEFORE WE TOLD ANYONE.

BUT I THINK--
I THINK NOW WE KNOW.

UM...

BEN, LISTEN, I, UH...

WHO ARE YOU?

OH, YES, UM, WHO ARE YOU?
YOU NEVER DID SAY.

GRETA.

GRETA KANENABLESTEINSKI.

[clears throat]

- AND I AM A--
- MY DATE FOR THE WEEKEND.

WHAT?

IT WAS IMPULSIVE.
I'M NOT IMPULSIVE.

I AM THE OPPOSITE
OF IMPULSIVE.

BUT YOUR BROTHER
BROUGHT HOME YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND

FOR CHRISTMAS
WITHOUT TELLING YOU FIRST.

I'M SORRY. I WILL EXPLAIN
WHY YOU CAN'T STAY.

WAIT, NO. NO.

WE'RE NOT LETTING THEM
GET AWAY WITH THIS.

- WE?
- WE. YOU SAVED MY LIFE.

HELPING YOU SAVE FACE
IS THE LEAST I CAN DO.

WE CAN'T PULL THIS OFF.
BESIDES, YOU HAVE A FIANCE.

EX-FIANCE.
I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT.

BUT I CAN TALK ABOUT HELPING
A FELLOW BROKEN HEART.

[chuckles]

I WOULDN'T GO THAT FAR.

OKAY, WE ARE A NEW ROMANCE.

WE JUST NEED
TO WORK OUT THE BASICS.

- THE BASICS.
- BASICS.

I'M AN ONLY CHILD, ORPHAN.

MY PARENTS DIED
WHEN I WAS FOUR,

AND I WAS RAISED BY MY NANA,
WHO ALSO DIED A FEW YEARS AGO,

BUT NOT BEFORE SHE WATCHED ME
GRADUATE FROM STANFORD.

- I'M ALSO AN ARIES.
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

I WAS BORN ON APRIL 7TH.

- WHEN WERE YOU BORN?
- JANUARY 6TH.

- CAPRICORN?
- YEAH.

- WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?
- ITALIAN.

EVERYONE'S FAVORITE FOOD
IS ITALIAN.

INDIAN?

CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA ROCKS.

- YEAH. [laughs]
- OKAY.

OKAY, WHERE DID WE MEET?

BEVERLY HILLS.

WHEN YOUR CAR BROKE DOWN
AND I CAME TO THE RESCUE.

- THAT WAS SO NICE OF YOU.
- OH, THANKS. ALLERGIES?

- NOPE. YOU?
- JUST YOUNGER BROTHERS.

[both chuckle]

- WHERE'D YOU GO TO SCHOOL?
- HARVARD.

COURSE YOU DID.
DID YOU CREW?

- CAPTAIN.
- YOU'RE RIDICULOUS.

AT OXFORD,
IT WAS RUGBY.

I STILL HAVE A SCAR
ON MY LEFT SHIN

WHERE NILES JACOBY-HOWE
SLICED ME DURING A SCRUM.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS,

BUT I HOPE YOU GOT IT
DISINFECTED.

- AND ONE MORE THING.
- WHAT?

FAKE DATING AT CHRISTMAS
MEANS CHANCES ARE

WE'LL FIND OURSELVES
UNDER MISTLETOE AT SOME POINT,

AND IF THAT WAS OUR FIRST KISS,
PEOPLE WOULD KNOW.

NOW WE'RE SET.

I JUST WANT TO GO ON RECORD

THAT I'M A MUCH BETTER KISSER
WHEN I'M NOT AMBUSHED.

MY CAR BROKE DOWN.

- IN BEVERLY HILLS.
- IN BEVERLY HILLS.

AND I HAD LEFT MY PHONE
AT HOME LIKE A DINGBAT,

AND WHO SHOULD COME BY
AND SAVE THE DAY?

CAPTAIN HANDSOME.

[chuckles]
THAT IS MY PET NAME FOR HIM

FROM HIS HARVARD CREW DAYS,

AND WE ARE NOT EVEN GONNA
GO INTO HIS OXFORD SCRUM.

RUGBY.

RUGBY.

OH, BEFORE I FORGET, GRETA,

PETERS HERE ASKED
WHERE HE SHOULD GET YOUR THINGS.

- MY THINGS?
- YOUR LUGGAGE.

NOT THAT YOUR PRESENT ATTIRE
ISN'T COMFORTABLE,

BUT I DON'T IMAGINE
YOU PLAN TO WEAR THAT

FOR YOUR ENTIRE STAY.

VERY TRUE.

UNFORTUNATELY,
MY LUGGAGE IS NOT HERE.

AH. WHERE IS IT?

AT HOME
IN LOS ANGELES.

IN MY CLOSET.
I DIDN'T BRING ANYTHING.

- ANYTHING?
- NOPE.

YOU SEE,
BEN TOTALLY SURPRISED ME.

YOU COULD SAY THAT HE JUST
SWEPT ME OFF MY FEET

AND BROUGHT ME HERE
WHEN I LEAST EXPECTED IT.

BEN.

BEN. HE IS SO ROMANTIC
AND SPONTANEOUS.

- THIS BEN?
- YES, THIS BEN.

I MAY NOT HAVE ALWAYS BEEN
SO SPONTANEOUS AND ROMANTIC,

BUT THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT
GRETA THAT BRINGS IT OUT OF ME.

OH, POOKIE.

YOU JUST SAY
THE MOST CRUSHABLE THINGS.

[Greta and Ben laugh]

LIKE, "DON'T PACK ANYTHING,

JUST COME AWAY,
SO WE CAN BE TOGETHER."

[sighs]
AND SO I DID.

GRETA, I'M GOING INTO TOWN

TO BUY SOME NEEDED ITEMS
FOR TOMORROW.

PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE
TO ACCOMPANY ME,

PICK UP SOME ESSENTIALS?

OH, THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
THANK YOU.

I HAVE A FEW THINGS
THAT I NEED TO PICK UP AS WELL.

I'LL COME WITH.

[Jingle Bells]

♪

THERE'S A PLACE TO GET
BAKING SUPPLIES JUST UP THERE

IF EITHER OF YOU
HAVE SUCH AN AFFINITY.

WELL, AS YOU KNOW, MAGGIE,
I STUDIED AT PARIS

AT LE CORDON BLEU
FOR A SUMMER IN COLLEGE.

I DID NOT.
[chuckles]

BUT MY NANA AND I
USED TO MAKE

GINGERBREAD COOKIES
EVERY CHRISTMAS.

GINGERBREAD COOKIES
ARE EXACTLY

WHAT THESE CHILDREN WILL WANT.

CHILDREN?

EVERY CHRISTMAS, THE
TANNENHILLS BRING BAKED GOODS

- TO THE LOCAL CHARITY BAKE SALE.
- YOU REMEMBER.

I REMEMBER MY TIME WITH
YOUR FAMILY WITH GREAT FONDNESS.

SO IT WOULD SEEM.
ALL RIGHT, LADIES.

GO AND GET WHAT YOU NEED
FOR BAKING OR WHATEVER ELSE.

WE'LL MEET BACK HERE
IN AN HOUR.

[Tchaikovsky's Dance
of the Sugar Plum Fairy]

♪

EXCUSE ME.
HOW MUCH FOR THIS?

THE GINGERBREAD HOUSE?
THAT'S 50 BUCKS.

OKAY, GREAT.

I WANT YOU TO TAKE THIS.

USE WHATEVER'S LEFT
FOR DELIVERY CHARGES,

I WANT YOU TO DELIVER THAT
TO THE TANNENHILL HOUSE BY 4:00.

I WANT YOU TO CALL ME
ON THIS NUMBER,

AND I'LL COME OUT
AND PICK IT UP.

NOW THIS PART
IS VERY IMPORTANT.

NO ONE CAN SEE YOU BUT ME.

BUT, MISS,
THAT'S A DISPLAY.

IT'S GONNA TAKE ME
AT LEAST A DAY AND A HALF--

I DON'T HAVE
A DAY AND A HALF.

- BUT--
- JUST-- YEAH, BUT--

JUST BRING THAT ONE.

LOOK...

BRING THAT ONE.

ALL RIGHT.
I'LL BRING THAT ONE.

NO, NO, NO.
NO TANNENHILLS ARE ENGAGED YET.

BUT I KNOW WHICH ONE MIGHT BE,
AND IF THIS GOES DOWN,

- THE NEWS WILL BE JUICY.
- GOOD. GOOD.

WELL, JUST MAKE SURE YOU GET IT.
WITH PICTURES.

I WILL,
I'M JUST LETTING YOU KNOW

I'M EXPECTING THE CORNER OFFICE
WITH THIS PROMOTION.

[chuckles]
DON'T GET TOO COCKY.

YOU HAVEN'T GOT
THE STORY YET.

AND WES HAS ANGLES TOO.

WHAT ANGLES?
OH, GOD.

[phone beeps]
[chuckles]

HEY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?

HANGING
CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS.

[scoffs] AND SINCE WHEN
HAVE YOU DONE THAT?

SINCE THIS IS
THE FIRST CHRISTMAS

THAT MOMS WANTED TO HAVE
SINCE DADS PASSED AWAY.

YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE

THAT CARES
ABOUT THIS FAMILY, BEN.

UH-HUH.

ARE YOU GONNA BE
HOSTILE TO ME ALL WEEK?

WELL, I DIDN'T LOB
THE FIRST SHOT.

YOU KNOW,
CLAIRE WASN'T A SHOT.

- SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND.
- MY EX, JARED!

AND THAT WAS
OVER A YEAR AGO.

AREN'T YOU OVER HER BY NOW?

I MEAN, ISN'T THAT
WHAT GRETA'S ALL ABOUT?

THIS ISN'T ABOUT GRETA,
AND YOU KNOW IT.

IT'S ABOUT RESPECT.

CLAIRE WAS ALMOST
MY FIANCEE.

YOU BRINGING HER HERE
WITHOUT TALKING TO ME FIRST

IS DISRESPECTFUL
BOTH TO ME AND TO MOM.

THAT'S FAMILY 101,

AND EVEN SOMEONE AS SELFISH
AS YOU SHOULD RECOGNIZE THAT.

HERE WE GO AGAIN, RIGHT?
IS THIS IT?

IS THIS BEN THE SAINT
AND JARED THE SELFISH ONE?

STOP ACTING
LIKE THE SELFISH ONE,

AND PEOPLE
WON'T CALL YOU THAT.

HEY, GUYS!
KNOCK IT OFF!

- [dog whimpers]
- HOW OLD ARE YOU?

- 34.
- AND YOU, HOW OLD?

YOUNGER THAN THAT.

BUT OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER
THAN TO ENGAGE

IN THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOR.

THIS IS CHRISTMAS.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS TIME OF YEAR
MEANS TO ME.

- NOW MORE THAN EVER.
- SORRY, MOM.

- I'M SORRY TOO.
- IT'S NOT A COMPETITION.

I CAN'T SAY I'M SORRY?

STOP THIS.

OKAY, BOTH OF YOU,
GO TO YOUR ROOMS.

DID YOU JUST GET SENT
TO YOUR ROOM BY YOUR MOTHER?

- SEXY, HUH?
- [laughs]

PRETTY SURE CLAIRE
STILL FINDS YOU PLENTY SEXY.

- CLAIRE?
- YUP.

YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE TIME
I WAS HANGING OUT WITH HER

AND YOUR MOTHER, SHE ACTED
LIKE IT WAS A COMPETITION.

AND I'M PRETTY SURE IT WASN'T TO
BE NUMBER ONE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW.

SHE STILL LIKES YOU.

SHE LIKES THE IDEA
OF BEING A TANNENHILL.

I DON'T KNOW.

I MEAN, SHE ALREADY HAS ONE,

AND IT STILL HASN'T STOPPED HER
FROM STARING AT YOU

LIKE SHE'S A KID
OUTSIDE A CANDY STORE.

GRETA.

I SPOTTED THESE PURCHASES
YOU LEFT IN THE LIVING ROOM.

OH, YOU DIDN'T
HAVE TO BRING THEM UP.

OH, NO, NO, NO,
IT'S PERFECTLY FINE.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO DO WITH THEM?

UH, IN MY ROOM, I GUESS.
YEAH.

WELL, THIS...IS YOUR BEDROOM,
WITH BENJAMIN.

ISN'T IT?

OF COURSE IT IS.
THANK YOU, PETERS.

YEAH, THERE IS FINE.

AH.

[sighs]

HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED?

- WE'RE GOOD.
- UH-HUH.

GOOD.

- I'LL TAKE THE FLOOR.
- I'LL TAKE THE COUCH.

DON'T TAKE THE COUCH,
TAKE THE BED.

NO, I'LL TAKE THE FLOOR.

DON'T TAKE THE FLOOR,
TAKE THE BED.

- FINE, I'LL TAKE THE BED.
- I'LL TAKE THE COUCH.

TAKE THIS FLOUR,
PUT IT ON THE BOARD,

AND THEN JUST
ROLL THE DOUGH ON IT.

- FLOUR ON THE BOARD.
- MM-HMM.

- ROLLING THE DOUGH.
- YUP.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT
THAT MUCH FLOUR ON THE BOARD.

- ALL RIGHT.
- MM-HMM.

- JUST ROLL IT?
- [laughs] YEAH.

- OKAY.
- JUST, UH--

YEAH, TRY NOT TO MAKE IT
TOO THIN.

TOO THIN.
HOW DOES IT BREAK UP LIKE THIS?

- I DON'T--
- UM, MAYBE IF YOU--

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
- [laughs]

- MAYBE YOU SHOULD SHOW ME.
- [laughs] YEAH, OKAY.

- HOW DO YOU DO IT?
- OKAY, UM...

I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE IF YOU, UH,
YEAH, TRY SOME CIRCULAR--

- CIRCULAR? LIKE HOW?
- MAYBE-- YEAH.

GO AROUND THAT WAY.

- THERE YOU GO. SEE, YOU GOT IT.
- OKAY.

SEE? VERY GOOD.
[chuckles]

OH, HEY, JARED,
HOW ARE YOU?

IT SMELLS GREAT IN HERE.
WHAT ARE YOU--

UH, WE JUST FINISHED THE FIRST
BATCH IF YOU WANT TO TRY ONE.

- YEAH.
- HERE YOU GO.

THANK YOU, GRETA.

- YEAH?
- MM.

- IT'S GOOD, RIGHT?
- YEAH.

NICE.
WELL, HERE IS A BAG OF ICING

IF YOU WANT TO GIVE
DECORATING A SHOT.

ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?

I'M TRUSTING YOU.

YEAH, JUST...

JUST SQUEEZE?

YOU GOTTA HOLD IT AT AN ANGLE.
IT'S LIKE A--

- LIKE THAT?
- I'LL SHOW YOU.

- YOU, UH-- YOU TWIST AT THE TOP.
- MM-HMM.

AND YOU HOLD IT
AT AN ANGLE.

AND THAT MAKES
DOING THE PIPING REALLY EASY.

LIKE THAT.
GIVE IT A SHOT.

ALL RIGHT, WHERE'D YOU
LEARN HOW TO DO THAT?

- GRETA JUST SHOWED ME.
- YEAH.

- [laughter]
- SOMETHING SMELLS DELICIOUS.

- both: HEY.
- IT'S MY NANA'S SECRET RECIPE.

WHAT'S THE SECRET?

WELL, I CAN'T
TELL YOU THE SECRET.

- WHITE PEPPER AND CARDAMOM.
- HEY.

THE HAZARDS
OF HAVING ME HELP.

NO.
[laughs] GOD.

- OH.
- OH, THANK YOU.

COOKIES.
HOW CHARMING.

WELL, YOU SEE, I'M THE, UH--
THE PASTRY BAG MASTER,

SO YOU LET ME KNOW
IF YOU NEED ANY HELP

WITH YOUR GINGERBREAD HOUSE.

WHOA. GINGERBREAD HOUSE?

YOU SURE YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TIME?

I HAVE IT COMPLETELY
UNDER CONTROL.

AFTER EVERYONE GOES TO BED
AND I HAVE TIME TO FOCUS,

I'M GOING TO CREATE
A GINGERBREAD HOUSE

THAT WILL DAZZLE.

WELL, I'M SURE
THE CHILDREN WILL LOVE IT.

WHERE ARE WE
GOING TOMORROW?

THE COMMUNITY
GETS TOGETHER IN TOWN

- TO HELP UNDERPRIVILEGED YOUTHS.
- OH.

GRETA, THIS IS
A TANNENHILL FAMILY TRADITION.

RUNNING FOR OFFICE IS ALSO
A TANNENHILL TRADITION.

RIGHT, BEN?

DID BENJAMIN
TELL YOU HIS PLAN

TO BE THE NEXT TANNENHILL
IN OFFICE?

- UNLESS JARED BEATS ME TO IT.
- [chuckles]

SO WHY IS THAT FUNNY?

WELL, YOU'RE A STOCKBROKER.

[scoffs] SO?

WELL, STOCKBROKERS
DON'T RUN FOR OFFICE.

- HUH.
- MAYBE THEY SHOULD.

FOLLOWING YOUR HEART
IS WHAT MATTERS.

[kettle whistles]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

OH, I'M SORRY.
IT WAS JUST OUT AND--

SO YOU JUST
DECIDED TO READ IT?

IT'S REALLY GOOD.

THIS IS PRIVATE, IT--

YOU LIKE IT?

WELL, I'M ONLY
A LITTLE WAYS INTO IT,

BUT IT DOESN'T TAKE MUCH
TO RECOGNIZE TALENT.

AND, BEN,
YOU'RE REALLY TALENTED.

THANKS.

IT'S A ROMANCE, ISN'T IT?

I WOULD'VE THOUGHT
A POLITICIAN

WOULD WRITE MORE
ABOUT HISTORY OR POLICY.

- [chuckles]
- I'M NOT A POLITICIAN.

OH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
I JUST THOUGHT--

I GUESS EVERYBODY ASSUMED

THAT YOU WOULD JUST ENTER,
LIKE, YOU KNOW, YOUR FATHER.

THAT IS
WHAT'S EXPECTED OF ME.

BUT NOT WHAT YOU WANT.

TANNENHILLS
AREN'T NOVELISTS.

- JUDGES OR SENATORS OR--
- STOCKBROKERS?

JARED CAN BE
A STOCKBROKER. I CAN'T.

BURDEN OF THE FIRST-BORN.

THIS MUST SOUND
RIDICULOUS TO YOU.

NOT RIDICULOUS.

A LITTLE STIFLING.

I MEAN, IT'S YOUR LIFE, BEN.
IT'S NOT YOUR FATHER'S.

IF YOU WANT TO BE A NOVELIST,
THEN YOU SHOULD BE A NOVELIST.

THAT'S EASY TO SAY WHEN YOU
DON'T HAVE ANYONE TO ANSWER TO.

[exhales]

I'M SORRY. I--

NO. NO, YOU ARE RIGHT.

[exhales]

YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO'S DOING ME A FAVOR.

NIGHT, JUST BEN.

GOOD NIGHT,
SNOW BRIDE.

[Tchaikovsky's
Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy]

HERE YOU GO, MISS.

BUT LISTEN,
I-I REALLY THI-- I--

♪ WE WISH YOU
A MERRY CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ WE WISH YOU
A MERRY CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ WE WISH YOU
A MERRY CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR

♪ GOOD TIDINGS WE BRING
TO YOU AND YOUR KIN ♪

♪ GOOD TIDINGS FOR CHRISTMAS
AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR ♪

♪ WE ALL KNOW
THAT SANTA'S COMING ♪

♪ WE ALL KNOW
THAT SANTA'S COMING ♪

♪ WE ALL KNOW
THAT SANTA'S COMING ♪

♪ AND SOON WILL BE HERE

♪ WE WISH YOU
A MERRY CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ WE WISH YOU
A MERRY CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ WE WISH YOU
A MERRY CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR

OH!

- GOD! YOU.
- ME.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

SAME AS YOU.

WHAT'D YOU FIND OUT?

LIKE I'D TELL YOU.

DID I SEE YOU
WITH BEN TANNENHILL?

[scoffs]
LIKE I'D TELL YOU.

SO WHAT'S TO STOP ME
FROM GOING IN THERE

AND BLOWING WHATEVER SORT
OF COVER YOU HAVE GOING?

THE KNOWLEDGE THAT I WOULD
RUIN YOUR CHANCES RIGHT BACK.

FINE.

TRUCE.

TRUCE.

AM-SCRAY.
[grunts]

"HE SPRANG TO HIS SLEIGH,

"TO HIS TEAM GAVE A WHISTLE,

"AND AWAY THEY FLEW
LIKE THE DOWN OF A THISTLE.

"BUT I HEARD HIM EXCLAIM,
ERE HE DROVE OUT OF SIGHT,

"'HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL,

AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.'"

THE END.

[applause]

OKAY, WHO WANTS
TO PLAY SOME FOOTBALL?

- ME!
- I DO!

- I DO!
- YEAH? ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.

SET...

HIKE!

[Bruce Bergh's
Christmas Time of the Year]

♪ SNOWFLAKES FALLING
WHITE ON THE GROUND ♪

♪ THE BIG FAT MAN
IS COMING TO TOWN ♪

♪ SHOPPERS SCURRY
AND ALL AROUND ♪

♪ IT'S THAT CHRISTMAS TIME
OF THE YEAR ♪

- GO, TAYLOR, GO, GO, GO!
- GO, TAYLOR!

YOU'VE GOT IT!
TOUCHDOWN!

[laughs]

WHOO!

GOOD JOB.

REMEMBER, KEEP IT
HIGH AND TIGHT, RIGHT?

YEAH, JUST LIKE THAT.

- THANKS, MR. TANNENHILL.
- CALL ME BEN.

I'M GONNA COME BY AND CHECK ON
YOUR PROGRESS NEXT WEEK, OKAY?

- AWESOME.
- COOL.

- YEAH. SEE YA.
- SEE YA.

BEN TANNENHILL.

YOU'RE A NICE GUY.

WHAT,
DOES THAT SURPRISE YOU?

[laughs]

EVERYTHING SINCE I WENT TUMBLING
IN THE SNOW HAS BEEN A SURPRISE.

YEAH, HAVE YOU TALKED
TO WHAT'S HIS NAME? AL?

NOPE.

ARE YOU SURE
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET HOME

AND STRAIGHTEN THINGS OUT?

- YUP. [chuckles]
- ALL RIGHT.

LOOK OKAY IN THAT.
HEY.

- OH, HEY.
- SO HOW DID WE DO?

BRILLIANT.
WE MADE OVER $2,000.

WOW.

JARED MAY HAVE OVERBID
ON MY GINGERBREAD HOUSE.

NO KIDDING.

- SO HOW WAS STORY TIME?
- BEN WAS AMAZING.

BEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN
A NATURAL STORYTELLER.

I REMEMBER.

ARE YOU STILL WRITING
THOSE LITTLE NOVELLAS?

WRITING?

WELL, WHEN BEN AND I
WERE DATING,

HE USED TO WRITE
THESE LITTLE STORIES

ALL THE TIME, AND HE USED TO
TALK ABOUT THAT SOMEDAY

- HE WOULD BE A NOVELIST.
- REALLY?

CLAIRE.
[cell phone rings]

I'M SORRY.
I GOTTA TAKE THIS.

[chuckles]

HEY.

DID THEY GET
THE SMUDGE OUT?

THEY DID. UH--

THANK YOU. GREAT.
ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT.

YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE
THE DAY I AM HAVING.

THE CATERER'S TRYING
TO GET AWAY

WITH USING LARGE SHRIMP
INSTEAD OF JUMBO SHRIMP,

AS IF A DETAIL LIKE THAT
WOULD ESCAPE ME.

I'M SORRY, I HAVE TO--

CRAZY UNCLE PADEN'S
ABOUT TO TALK TO KEVIN'S MOTHER.

OKAY.
NO, I-I'LL CALL YOU BACK.

[exhales]

[phone beeps]
I AM SO DEAD.

- ANYWAY, THESE--
- I'M SORRY.

CAN I STEAL YOU FOR A SECOND?
SORRY.

YEAH.

SO THE DRESS IS STILL
IN THE CABIN AIRING OUT.

- PETERS--
- CANNOT SEE THAT.

BINGO. SO LET'S GO.

I CAN'T GO.
THERE'S A RAFFLE WITH THE KIDS.

OKAY, WELL, THEN I'LL GO.
SO KEYS.

OKAY, THE SNOW'S MELTING.
I'M NOT GONNA WRECK YOUR CAR.

SERIOUSLY?

ALL RIGHT.

"R" MEANS REVERSE, RIGHT?
[giggles]

- MAN.
- I'LL BE BACK, GUYS, I'M SORRY.

[engine turns off]

[Carol of the Bells]

♪

[gasps]

NO.

♪

[gasps]

OH.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I'M SORRY.

- I'LL TAKE THESE.
- I AM-- I AM REALLY SORRY.

I MEANT NO DISRESPECT,
I WAS JUST--

I WAS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING,

AND I LEFT IT HERE,
AND I'M SORRY.

A WEDDING DRESS, PERHAPS?

OH.
YOU FOUND THAT, DID YOU?

DON'T SUPPOSE YOU KNOW
A GOOD DRY CLEANER.

[chuckles]

WHAT,
DID YOU AND BENJAMIN ELOPE?

NO. [chuckles]
NO, NO, NO.

IT'S NOT EVEN-- IT'S--
I MEAN, WE JUST MET. [chuckles]

FAKE DATING.

IT WAS IMPULSIVE.

HE'S NOT NORMALLY IMPULSIVE,
BUT THEN JARED AND CLAIRE.

YOU HAVE TO END
THIS CHARADE.

OH, NO. [chuckles]
NO, NO, NO.

IT'S NOT FAIR TO MAGGIE.
SHE'S GROWING VERY FOND OF YOU.

IS SHE?

YEAH.
I LIKE HER TOO.

YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY'S
MUCH NICER THAN I IMAGINED.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU
DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE FAMILY,

THAT YOU JUST
STUMBLED UPON US.

I DID. YES.
THAT IS RIGHT.

IS THERE SOMETHING
YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME?

I COULD ASK YOU
THE SAME QUESTION.

HOW'S THAT?

THE LETTERS.

[sighs]

MAGGIE AND I KNEW EACH OTHER
WHEN WE WERE YOUNG.

AND THEN WE LOST TRACK
DURING COLLEGE.

I WAS WORKING
ON EVAN'S FIRST CAMPAIGN

WHEN HIS WIFE
WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR.

IT WAS MAGGIE.

AND YOU'RE
IN LOVE WITH HER.

NO.

AFTER EVAN DIED,
MAGGIE AND I BECAME VERY CLOSE.

BUT THIS IS AS FAR
AS I EVER ALLOWED IT TO GO.

EVAN WAS LIKE A BROTHER.

YOU WON'T SAY ANYTHING.

NEVER.

ALL I ASK IS
THAT YOU ALLOW ME AND BEN

TO GET OUT
OF THIS MESS ON OUR OWN.

AND WE WILL.

SOON.

SOON.

ALL RIGHT.

AND ALL I ASK IS--
KANENABLESTEINSKI--

IS THAT YOU CONSIDER
THE CONSEQUENCES,

SO NOBODY GETS HURT.

DEAL.

- HEY.
- HI.

UM, I'M SORRY
ABOUT EARLIER.

I HOPE YOU KNOW
THAT I DIDN'T MEAN

TO CAUSE ANY PROBLEMS WITH
YOUR MOM ABOUT YOUR WRITING.

YOU DIDN'T.

GOOD.

BECAUSE THAT'S-- THAT'S
THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO.

BEN, UH,
DO YOU HAVE A SECOND?

YEAH.

I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT HAPPENED.

HE IS LIKE CARSON THE BUTLER
MEETS OLD SCHOOL BEN KENOBI.

WHEN HE ASKED ME
WHAT WAS GOING ON,

I FOUND MYSELF CONFESSING
LIKE I WAS IN THE LAST MINUTES

OF A LAW & ORDER EPISODE.

SO YOU TOLD HIM EVERYTHING?

EH, YEAH.

I'M GONNA HAVE
TO TALK TO MY MOM.

OH, NO.
YOU DON'T.

PETERS PROMISED THAT HE WOULDN'T
SAY ANYTHING TO HER.

HOW DID YOU PULL THAT OFF?

I GOT MY WAYS.

BUT EVERYTHING IS COOL,

AND I'M SORRY I TOLD HIM
ABOUT THE FAKE DATING.

IT'S OKAY.

WHENEVER MY MOM WANTED TO KNOW
WHAT WAS REALLY GOING ON

WITH JARED AND ME,
SHE'D DEPLOY PETERS TO FIND OUT.

NOT YOUR DAD?

NO.
HE WAS ALWAYS AWAY FOR WORK.

DID HE EVER READ
ANY OF YOUR WRITING?

NO.

I, UH...

I NEVER SHOWED IT TO HIM.

- ARE YOU SURE?
- NOT AT ALL.

SO DON'T HOLD BACK.

[sighs]

[cell phone vibrates]

HEY.

HOW GOES YOUR UNDERCOVER LIFE
AMONG THE HOITY AND TOITY?

NOT AT ALL WHAT I EXPECTED.

I MEAN, YEAH, THEY'RE RICH,
BUT THEY'RE ACTUALLY NICE.

I'M SORRY?

OH, HOLD ON.

OKAY, GO.

DID I JUST HEAR YOU
USE THE WORD "NICE"

ABOUT THE CELEBRITY SUBJECT
OF YOUR STORY?

YOU DID.

AND I'M ACTUALLY STARTING
TO FEEL REALLY GUILTY AND GROSS.

DO I NEED TO SEND IN THE SWAT
TEAM FOR IMMEDIATE EXTRACTION?

I AM SERIOUS. IT'S BEEN KIND
OF JUST ALL-AMERICAN AWESOME.

SO NO BACCHANALIA?

NOPE.
BAKE SALES AND FOOTBALL.

AND NOT FOR PR,
FOR ACTUAL CHARITY.

THAT'S THE MOST
BORING GOSSIP EVER.

I KNOW.
IT'S LOVELY.

[giggles]

THERE HAS TO BE
SOMETHING MORE.

[sighs]
THERE USUALLY IS.

I GOTTA GO.

- HEY.
- HEY.

WELL, YOUR CAR IS NOW
FULLY OPERATIONAL.

OH, YOU'RE AMAZING.
THANK YOU.

OR MAYBE I SHOULDN'T
GIVE YOU

A MEANS OF ESCAPE
UNTIL YOU'RE DONE.

WHAT? OH. NO WAY.

I NEED TO FIND OUT
IF THEY END UP TOGETHER

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.

IS IT, UM...

IS IT CHEESY?

BEN, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

I WOULDN'T HAVE PICTURED YOU

AS A BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY
KIND OF GUY, BUT-- [laughs]

♪ HOLY NIGHT

♪ ALL IS CALM

♪ ALL IS BRIGHT

BEN, YOU ARE
VERY TALENTED,

AND IT WOULD BE A SHAME
TO SEE YOU WASTE IT

BECAUSE YOU DON'T THINK
SOMEONE'S GOING TO APPROVE.

♪ YON VIRGIN

♪ MOTHER AND CHILD

♪ HOLY INFANT

♪ SO TENDER AND MILD

[chuckles]

♪ SLEEP

♪ IN HEAVENLY PEACE

OH, UM...

DID I TELL YOU
ABOUT THE CHRISTMAS BALL?

CHRISTMAS B--

NO, YOU DID NOT.

- THERE'S A CHRISTMAS BALL.
- WHEN?

- TONIGHT.
- WHAT?

IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL,
IT'S JUST, UM...

IT'S ONE
OF MY MOM'S CHARITIES.

THAT'S KIND OF A BIG DEAL.

YEAH, IT KINDA IS.

[laughs]

I DON'T HAVE
ANYTHING TO WEAR.

I KNOW.

SO I MAY HAVE BEEN
A BIT PRESUMPTUOUS, BUT...

I DID A LITTLE SHOPPING FOR YOU
WHEN I WAS IN TOWN JUST NOW.

NOTHING MAJOR,
JUST A BUNCH OF DRESSES.

IN A VARIETY OF SIZES.

AND SHOES.

ALSO IN A VARIETY OF SIZES.

BEN...

YOU CAN RETURN
WHATEVER YOU DON'T USE.

IT'S OKAY.
THE STORES UNDERSTAND.

BUT IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO

GIVEN EVERYTHING
YOU'RE DOING FOR ME.

♪ THE SAVIOR IS BORN

YOU'RE THE AMAZING ONE,
GRETA.

♪

♪ SILENT NIGHT

[sighs]

♪

♪ HOLY

♪

♪ NIGHT

♪

YOU LOOK GOOD.

- [whispers indistinctly]
- THANK YOU.

YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU.

BEN, LET'S GO!

I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY.
I'M COMING, I'M COMING.

WOW.

YOU LOOK AMAZING.

SO DO YOU.

LET ME JUST FIX THIS.

THANK YOU.

♪ I DON'T WANT
NOTHIN' MELANCHOLY ♪

♪ JUST A LITTLE EGG NOG
AND HOLLY ♪

♪ ON THIS HOLIDAY
WITH YOU ♪

♪

♪ SO HURRY UP,
DON'T KEEP ME WAITIN' ♪

♪ I'M IN THE MOOD
FOR CELEBRATIN' ♪

♪ JUST WANT
A HOLIDAY FOR TWO ♪

♪

[applause]

♪

- WHY DON'T WE GO HAVE A SEAT?
- ♪ BABY GIRL

♪

♪ WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME

JUST A MINUTE.
I'LL BE BACK.

♪

♪ THERE'S JUST TWO WORDS

♪

♪ OOH-WEE

♪

YOU LOOK SPECTACULAR.

YOU CLEAN UP QUITE NICELY
YOURSELF.

THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE
LOOKS SPECTACULAR?

HMM?

I THINK YOU SHOULD
ASK HER TO DANCE.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

WHAT, YOU DON'T THINK
SHE WANTS TO DANCE?

I DON'T--

WITH HER LIFELONG FRIEND?

I SUPPOSE,
WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY,

IT...DOESN'T SEEM
QUITE SO SCARY.

[laughs]

HOW'S MY TIE?

YOU LOOK DASHING.

♪ IF YOU HEAR ME SAY

♪ OOH-WEE

♪ OH, GIRL

♪

♪ WHEN YOU SMILE AT ME

SO YOU OWN
A CHRISTMAS TREE FARM?

OH, YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.

[gasps]

- WOODEN ELMS.
- THAT'S RIGHT.

- FASCINATING.
- ABSOLUTELY.

- I'VE GOT TO TAKE OFF.
- OKAY. SEE YA.

YOU!

[exhales]
YES, ME.

ARE YOU STALKING ME?

I'M STALKING MY STORY.

WHAT STORY?
NO ONE'S ENGAGED.

JARED TANNENHILL
BRINGS HOME

HIS BROTHER'S EX-GIRLFRIEND
AS HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND?

- COME ON, THAT IS A STORY.
- YEAH, AN OLD ONE.

CATCH UP, WES.

THAT'S NOT YOUR COLOR.

ARE YOU-- ARE YOU OKAY?

[sighs] YOU KNOW, I THINK
I, UM, I DROPPED SOMETHING.

- OH.
- UH, BUT, UM, HOW ARE YOU?

- VERY WELL, THANK YOU.
- GREAT.

WHO IS THAT MAN THAT, UM,
SHE WAS JUST TALKING TO?

THE LITTLE-- THE MOUST--

- YEAH.
- A REPORTER.

I THINK IT'S A REPORTER
FROM PULSE! GOSSIP.

- AH.
- BEEN AROUND, ASKING QUESTIONS.

OH.

THANK YOU.
[laughs]

[jazz music]

♪

HEY, GRETA, WHO WAS THAT MAN
YOU WERE TALKING TO EARLIER?

YOU SEEMED TO KNOW HIM.

JUST SOME GUY
LOOKING FOR THE BATHROOM.

[laughs]

YOU MAY THINK,
BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEN,

NOW YOU'RE
IN THE CATBIRD'S SEAT,

BUT THAT'S JUST
A TEMPORARY POSITION.

WELL, YOU WOULD KNOW.

EXCUSE ME.

[indistinct chatter]

COME ON.
DANCE WITH ME.

♪

YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU NEED TO LOOSEN UP.

- YEAH.
- RELAX, I'M NOT GONNA BITE.

WHAT WAS IT
YOU WANTED TO ASK ME?

WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT, UM,

GRETA KANE-WHATEVER?

WHAT PROMPTED THAT?

CURIOSITY.

IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS,
CLAIRE.

WELL, OF COURSE
IT'S MY BUSINESS.

I CARE
ABOUT YOUR FAMILY, BEN.

I'VE MISSED YOU.

I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW MUCH
UNTIL I ACTUALLY SAW YOU AGAIN.

EXCUSE ME.

MIND IF I BORROW
MY GIRLFRIEND?

YEAH.

♪

[laughs]

WHOO!

♪

MAESTRO.

[music stops]

CLAIRE...

YOU ARE THE MOST AMAZING WOMAN
THAT I HAVE EVER MET.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
YOU ARE SMART.

YOU'RE THE KIND OF SPECIAL
PERSON THAT STAYS UP ALL NIGHT,

BAKING GINGERBREAD HOUSES
FOR CHARITY.

[both laugh]

AND I KNOW
THAT THIS MAY SEEM SUDDEN

TO, UH, A LOT OF PEOPLE,
BUT NOT TO ME.

CLAIRE PALMER SINCLAIRE,

WILL YOU DO ME THE HONOR
OF BEING MY WIFE?

[camera shutter clicking]

YES.

[glass clinking]

[applause]

[upbeat music]

♪

[camera shutter clicking]

ARE YOU OKAY?

DANCE WITH ME.

STILL STINGS, HUH?

NOT LATELY.

WHY DID YOU BREAK UP?

AFTER WE STARTED DATING,

MY NAME STARTED APPEARING
IN THE GOSSIP PAGES

LIKE IT NEVER HAD BEEN
BEFORE AND...

HASN'T SINCE WE BROKE UP.

AND THEN MY DAD DIED,

AND THE TABLOIDS
MOVED IN LIKE VULTURES,

REPORTING
EVERY PRIVATE DETAIL,

AND I KNEW.

SHE WAS USING ME,

USING THE FAMILY TO CREATE
HER OWN CELEBRITY.

IT HAS TO BE HARD,
NOT KNOWING WHO YOU CAN TRUST.

CRAZY ENOUGH,

I TRUST YOU.

- BEN.
- I KNOW.

I BARELY KNOW YOU,
BUT...

[chuckles]

HOW CAN YOU
NOT TRUST SOMEONE

WILLING TO DO
SOMETHING THIS NUTS

TO HELP ANOTHER PERSON?

UH-OH.

WHAT?

YOU SAID IT YOURSELF.

WE WERE BOUND TO GET CAUGHT
UNDER THE MISTLETOE

AT SOME POINT.

[laughs]

BEN.

I'M SORRY.

GRETA.

[pounds pillow]

[sighs]

[groans]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[groans]

[sighs]

[sighs]

HI.

- HELLO.
- DO YOU MIND?

NO, SIT DOWN.

ARE YOU WARM ENOUGH?

[laughs]
I THINK SO.

DID YOU HAVE
A GOOD TIME TONIGHT?

I DID. YOU?

ALL THINGS CONSIDERED,
I DID.

IT WAS NICE TO DANCE
AND LAUGH AGAIN.

WELL, I KNOW
IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT TO BEN

THAT YOU HAVE
A GOOD CHRISTMAS.

YOU CARE ABOUT HIM,
DON'T YOU?

[laughs]

HE'S SUCH A GOOD PERSON.

I MEAN, HE'S NOT AT ALL
WHAT I EXPECTED.

EXPECTED?

WELL, YOU KNOW,
WHEN I MET HIM.

I MEAN, NOW I EXPECT
THE AWESOME, SO...

[both laugh]

HOW ARE YOU WITH,
UH, CLAIRE BEING HERE?

FINE.

UH, IT--
IT'S A LITTLE UNUSUAL.

- TO SAY THE LEAST.
- MM-HMM.

[sighs]

BOTH OF MY SONS HAVING
DATED THE SAME WOMAN,

AND NOW ONE OF THEM'S
ENGAGED TO HER.

WHO KNOWS
WHAT THE TABLOIDS WILL SAY.

HMM.

I'M SURE IT WOULDN'T BE
TOO BAD.

NOT IN TODAY'S DAY, WITH THE
KARDASHIANS AND CELEBUTANTES.

YES, BUT UNLIKE THEM,
WE DON'T WANT PUBLICITY.

OF COURSE, THAT MAKES US
MORE OF A TARGET.

TRUE.

BUT I DON'T KNOW,
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

I SUPPOSE IT WOULD TAKE
SOMETHING MORE SALACIOUS

TO GET PEOPLE'S ATTENTION,

LIKE CLAIRE ALSO HAVING
PROPOSITIONED MY HUSBAND.

- WHOA, THAT HAPPENED?
- IT DID.

IT WAS YEARS BEFORE SHE AND BEN
STARTED DATING.

- HOW'D YOU FIND OUT?
- I SAW HER.

AND I SAW HER REJECTED,

AND I SAW EVAN
ESCORT HER TO THE DOOR,

NEVER TO RETURN,
OR SO I ASSUMED.

WELL, THAT'S, UH--

- SALACIOUS?
- [laughs] YEAH.

[both laugh]

GOD, HOW CAN YOU
EVEN STAND

TO HAVE HER
UNDER THE SAME ROOF WITH YOU?

OH, GOD,
ESPECIALLY AFTER--

WELL,
I AM A FIRM BELIEVER

IN THINGS WORKING OUT
AS THEY SHOULD.

[Good King Wenceslas]

♪

[sighs]

MM-HMM.

[sighs]

WAIT.

- OKAY, GO.
- YOU DID WHAT?

I SENT IT OVER TO CHARLIE,
MY FRIEND OVER AT WARNER BOOKS.

- WITHOUT TELLING BEN?
- I USED A PSEUDONYM.

AND IT'S JUST FOR PROFESSIONAL
FEEDBACK. THAT'S IT.

YOU KNOW,
I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE

IF CHARLIE TOLD BEN
THAT IT WAS GOOD,

IT MIGHT CONVINCE HIM TO PURSUE
HIS WRITING OPENLY.

I HOPE YOU'RE KEEPING TRACK
OF YOUR ONGOING DECEPTIONS.

MAYBE A FLOW CHART.

IT'S BAD, ISN'T IT?

NOT IN OUR BIZ.

WELL, SOMEHOW THAT
SEEMS TO MAKE IT WORSE.

[phone beeping]

OH, HOLD ON.

OH.

IT'S DORIA.

I SHOULD PROBABLY CLEAR UP
AT LEAST ONE LIE OF OMISSION.

GOOD LUCK, BOSS. CALL
IF YOU NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION.

[beep]

[phone beeps]

DORIA!

[dramatic music]

♪

[TV playing football game]

40-YARD LINE.

HI.

BEHIND THE CENTER.

LOOKING TO TAKE OKLAHOMA
TO 80 YARDS.

HEY.

LOOKING TO SEAL THE DEAL
AND PUT THIS GAME OUT OF REACH.

FIRST TIME THIS SEASON,
HAD THE BALL SINCE...

IT'S THE BOWL GAME.

MINNESOTA VERSUS OKLAHOMA.

WE CAN CHANGE IT,
IF YOU WANT.

OH, NO, NO, NO.
I LOVE FOOTBALL.

[laughs]

PRO-BACON
AND LOVES FOOTBALL.

WHO ARE YOU?

[laughs]

11 YARDS
AND THE SOONERS' FIRST DOWN.

THAT WAS EFFICIENT,
YEAH.

UM...

HOW'D YOU SLEEP?

OKAY.

YOU?

OKAY.

MISSED YOUR SNORING.

HE GOT TO 35,
TO 40...

MISSED YOURS TOO.

- I DO NOT SNORE!
- YES, YOU DO.

NO, I DON'T!
YOU SNORE!

- DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA--
- LIKE A TRUCK DRIVER!

- [laughs]
- YOU PUT ME TO SHAME!

- NO! [laughs]
- YOUR SNORING IS...

UNBELIEVABLE.

HI.

HI.

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

OH.

I HAVE TO TELL YOU
SOMETHING.

SOMETHING IMPORTANT.

OH, BREAK IT UP,
YOU TWO.

- YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH.
- [laughs]

SO I KNOW THIS ISN'T
TRADITIONAL, UH, GAME FOOD,

BUT I SPENT A LOT
OF MONEY ON IT.

YES, YOU DID.

AND, UH,
IT'S FOOD, RIGHT?

IT'S NOT ART, SO...

ALL RIGHT.
THERE WE GO.

[all gagging]

- OW.
- MAYBE IT IS ART.

I THINK I CHIPPED
A VENEER.

I THINK THIS MIGHT
ACTUALLY BE THE DISPLAY.

OH, ARE WE
EATING THIS NOW?

both: NO!

- IS MY VENEER OKAY?
- [laughs] I DON'T KNOW.

- WELL, LOOK AT IT.
- LET ME SEE.

I MEAN, I THINK SO.

- [clicks TV off]
- WHOA, THE GAME.

OKAY,
YOU KNOW WHAT, HONEY?

I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU PUT
IN THIS GINGERBREAD HOUSE,

BUT IT TASTES
LIKE CONCRETE.

I NEED YOUR ATTENTION.

I HAVE SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT
THAT I WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU.

NOW, IT GIVES ME NO PLEASURE
TO BE THE BEARER OF THIS NEWS,

BUT YOU'VE ALL BEEN
LIED TO.

THIS WOMAN IS A SPY!

LIKE, SHE WORKS
FOR THE CIA?

NO, NO, NOT LIKE
AN ACTUAL SPY SPY.

SHE IS A REPORTER
FOR PULSE! GOSSIP.

SHE HAS BEEN HERE
TO SPY ON US

TO DO A STORY
ABOUT THE TANNENHILLS.

THAT'S QUITE
AN ACCUSATION.

I SAW HER SPEAKING
TO THE SAME MAN

AT THE CHRISTMAS CARNIVAL
AND AT THE BALL.

WHEN I DISCOVERED
THAT THIS MAN WAS A REPORTER,

I DID SOME SEARCHING
OF MY OWN

AND FOUND OUT THAT--
GRETA KANE, IS IT?--

IS, IN FACT, A REPORTER.

YEAH, BUT SHE'S--
SHE'S DATING BEN.

- BEN, PLEASE, I--
- NO, JARED, WE'RE NOT DATING.

- PLEASE, I WAS TRYING--
- ALL THIS WAS A LIE.

HOW WE MET,
HER BEING HERE,

ALL OF IT MADE UP,
ALL BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT

MY EX-GIRLFRIEND HOME
WITHOUT WARNING.

I TRIED TO CALL!

THE CAR GETTING STUCK,

THE RUNAWAY SNOW BRIDE
STUFF,

THAT WAS PRETEND.

- THE CAR DID GET STUCK.
- UH-HUH.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE HELPING ME
BECAUSE YOU WERE A GOOD PERSON,

BUT YOU WERE JUST
GETTING ACCESS.

JUST LIKE...

WHAT CLAIRE SAID
IS TRUE.

I AM A REPORTER,

AND I WAS ASSIGNED
A STORY

BASED ON A TIP
THAT ONE OF THE BROTHERS

HAD BOUGHT
AN ENGAGEMENT RING.

YOU'RE DOING A STORY
ABOUT ME?

I FEEL SO VIOLATED.

I WAS ASSIGNED TO FIND OUT
WHAT I COULD.

AND WHAT DID YOU
FIND OUT?

THAT YOU ARE A FAMILY,

A WONDERFUL FAMILY,

AND THAT I
HAD MADE ASSUMPTIONS

BASED ON
MY OWN PREJUDICES, AND...

I WAS WRONG.

I AM SO SORRY.
I AM SO VERY, VERY SORRY.

BUT I SWEAR,
I WILL MAKE SURE

THAT NO STORY
IS PRINTED ABOUT YOU.

NOT BY ME.

YOU HAVE THE KEYS
TO YOUR CAR.

YOU CAN LEAVE NOW.

EXCUSE ME.

I'M SORRY.

GRETA.
JUST ONE SECOND.

DIDN'T WANT YOU
TO FORGET THIS.

THANK YOU.

DRIVE CAREFULLY, OKAY?

I DON'T THINK
KEVIN'S FAMILY WILL NOTICE.

THERE ARE NO SLEEVES!

BUT THE SMUDGE IS OUT.

[sighs]

I LOVE YOU?

HONESTLY, I THINK
IT LOOKS GREAT,

SLEEVES
OR NO POOFY SLEEVES.

GOOD!

BUT, MORE IMPORTANTLY,

THIS DRESS,
THIS LOVE TRADITION,

HAS LED YOU
TO YOUR PERFECT MAN.

[groans]

WHOM I THEN CRUSHED
WITH LIES AND DECEPTION

AND WHO WILL NEVER SPEAK
TO ME AGAIN.

AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT
DRAMATIC ABOUT IT.

SERIOUSLY,
HOW DO YOU FEEL?

[groans]

GUILTY, ASHAMED,
HEARTBROKEN.

[sighs]

WELL, MAYBE THEN THIS--

DEPRESSED,
AWFUL, ANGRY.

I TOTALLY GET IT.

LONELY, SAD,
FRUSTRATED.

I--

WISTFUL, ANXIOUS,

SCUMMY.

NOW YOU'RE REPEATING
YOURSELF.

[munching food]

HAVE YOU TRIED
CALLING HIM?

NO.

TRIED CONTACTING HIM
IN ANY WAY?

WHAT'S THE POINT?
FURTHER HUMILIATION?

MAYBE HE MISSES YOU
JUST AS MUCH AS YOU MISS HIM.

HIS PHONE STILL WORKS,
AND HE HASN'T CALLED ME.

THAT DOES NOT SPEAK
TO MISSING SOMEONE.

[sighs]

[exhales]

♪ I COULD BUILD
A WALL INSIDE ♪

♪ I COULD
BUILD A WALL INSIDE ♪

♪ TO KEEP YOU
FROM LEAVIN' ♪

♪ BUT IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE LEAVIN' ♪

[sighs]

DON'T BE MAD AT ME,
BEN.

♪ WHAT A PAIR OF FOOLS
WE MADE ♪

♪ LOOKS ARE DECEIVING

I HAD TO FIND
THE TRUTH ABOUT GRETA...

♪ LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE LEAVING ♪

BECAUSE I ST--
I STILL CARE ABOUT YOU.

I DID WHAT I DID
OUT OF LOVE.

♪ WHEN YOU GONNA SEE IT
PERFECTLY? ♪

I LOVE YOU, BEN.

♪ YOU'RE NEVER GONNA FIND
ANOTHER ONE LIKE ME ♪

♪ SITTING ALL ALONE

LOVE?

♪ GOT A LITTLE
TOO MUCH TIME TO THINK ♪

YES, LOVE.

♪ I'M THE ONE
TO SATISFY YOUR NEED ♪

ARE WE
THAT INTERCHANGEABLE TO YOU?

YOU'RE ENGAGED
TO MY BROTHER.

YEAH, THAT-- THAT WAS--
THAT WAS A MISTAKE.

I NEVER
SHOULD HAVE SAID YES.

I-I PANICKED.

IT'S BEEN YOU.
IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN YOU.

THAT'S BECAUSE MY FATHER
WOULDN'T PLAY.

LET'S BE CLEAR, CLAIRE.

I'M NOT PLAYING EITHER.

♪ YOU NEVER MEAN
A WORD YOU SAY ♪

YOU NEED TO LEAVE.
NOW.

BECAUSE I'M GONNA TELL
JARED THE TRUTH,

THE WHOLE TRUTH,
AND WHEN I DO,

YOUR LAST CHANCE
AT BEING A TANNENHILL

WILL BE GONE FOREVER.

♪ OH, WHOA

[grunts]

♪ I CAN SEE YOUR EYES
LIKE THE NORTHERN LIGHTS ♪

♪ I KNOW WHERE TO FLY

REALLY?

YOU DO NOT WALK AWAY
FROM ME LIKE THIS.

AFTER EVERYTHING
THAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH?

AFTER WHAT I'VE DONE
FOR YOU?

THAT'S KIND OF THE PROBLEM.

[grunts]

I HATE YOU!

BUT YOU JUST TOLD ME
YOU LOVE ME.

AND YOU'RE ENGAGED
TO MY BROTHER.

I'M SORRY,
WHICH IS IT?

THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.

OH, SHUT UP!

YOU WERE JUST DATING ME
TO GET BACK AT HIM!

LIKE I'D MARRY
A STOCKBROKER!

YEAH,
I'LL CALL YOU A CAB.

YEAH.

I SHOULD HAVE SAID
SOMETHING EARLIER.

I MEAN,
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW

THAT I WAS GONNA
FALL FOR YOUR EX

AND THEN SPRING IT ON YOU
LIKE AN IDIOT?

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

WE'RE-- WE'RE NEVER
GONNA FIND THIS THING.

KEEP LOOKING.

YOU REMEMBER
WHEN WE WERE KIDS,

WE, UH, USED TO LOOK
FOR REINDEER TRACKS?

[laughs]
YEAH.

AND THE YEAR
WE FOUND SOME.

A LITTLE
CHRISTMAS MAGIC.

WE COULD USE
SOME OF THAT NOW.

NO KIDDING.

[exhales]

THERE YOU GO.

WHAT ARE YOU TWO
DOING?

FINDING DIAMONDS
IN THE SNOW.

HOW DELIGHTFUL.

THIS JUST CAME FOR YOU.
IT'S FROM A "DORIA'S DRESS."

SAY THAT AGAIN.

I AM NOT GIVING UP ANY
INFORMATION ON THE TANNENHILLS.

THAT'S WHY
YOU WENT UP THERE.

I KNOW.

SO YOU'RE GONNA
FORFEIT THE PROMOTION

BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT
TO GIVE UP DIRT

ON A BUNCH OF SPOILED,
RICH, CELEBRITY POLITICOS?

THEY'RE NOT LIKE THAT, LOU.
THEY'RE ACTUALLY REALLY NICE.

I DON'T CARE.

AND YOU USED TO NOT CARE,
EITHER.

I DO NOW.

LOOK, I'VE KNOWN
MAGGIE TANNENHILL

SINCE WAY BACK IN THE DAY.

IF I SAY THE FAMILY
IS FAIR GAME,

THEY'RE FAIR GAME.

COME ON, LOU.
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL, REALLY?

I MEAN, JARED TANNENHILL
GOT ENGAGED?

SO WHAT? IT'S NOT EVEN
THAT GOOD OF A STORY.

IT IS,
IF THE SAME WOMAN

DATED THE OLDER BROTHER
AND THE FATHER.

SHE DIDN'T DATE
THE FATHER.

- DETAILS.
- A BIG ONE.

HE CAN'T CONTEST IT NOW,
CAN HE?

AND THAT STORY WOULD BE ENOUGH
TO LAUNCH US ONLINE.

IT'S A LIE,
AND IT HURTS PEOPLE,

AND IF YOU GO WITH THIS,
I'LL QUIT.

AND IF YOU DON'T GO WITH IT,
I'LL FIRE YOU.

YOUR CHOICE, KIDDO.

WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO NEXT?

DON'T KNOW,
BUT CELEBRITY GOSSIP IS NOT IT.

WHEREVER YOU LAND,
YOU HAVE TO STEAL ME AWAY.

AT TWICE THE SALARY.

[both laugh]

IF YOU HAD TO FALL
FOR A SUBJECT,

YOU PICKED A GOOD ONE.

YEAH.
NOW THEY'RE GONNA ASSUME

THAT I'M THE SOURCE
AND HATE ME EVEN MORE.

BUT WHO IS THE SOURCE?

OH.

AND THIS IS
THE MAN TO TALK TO.

TELL ME
WHAT I WANT TO HEAR.

[laughs]

OF COURSE.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

THE ONLY THING I CAN.

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

BEN, JUST GIVE ME
FIVE MINUTES.

LOOK, I'VE GIVEN YOU
ENOUGH.

IT'S ABOUT CLAIRE.

[sighs]

I DON'T KNOW THE SPECIFICS
OF WHAT THEY'LL WRITE,

BUT I KNOW THEY WILL PAINT
SENATOR TANNENHILL

IN THE WORST WAY.

WELL, THEY DON'T HAVE
ANY PROOF.

THEY DON'T NEED ANY.

WELL, THEN WE SHOULD
THREATEN LEGAL ACTION.

THE DAMAGE WILL BE DONE.

[phone beeps]

[speed-dialing number]

LOU BLANKO? PLEASE HOLD
FOR MAGGIE TANNENHILL.

HELLO, LOU.

YES, IT HAS BEEN A WHILE.

WELL, OF COURSE I REMEMBER.
I REMEMBER EVERYTHING.

LISTEN, LOU, I'M CALLING
TO GIVE YOU A BIT OF A SCOOP.

A FEW DAYS AGO,
I INSTRUCTED MY ATTORNEYS

TO BEGIN THE PROCESS
OF BUYING PULSE! GOSSIP,

AND OUR MUTUAL FRIEND
GRETA KANE

SPOKE SO HIGHLY
OF YOU AND YOUR TEAM.

SHE WHAT?

NO LONGER
WORKS FOR PULSE!?

WELL, WE NEED
TO GET HER BACK.

I HAVE SOME IDEAS
FOR HOW SHE COULD

FIT INTO THE NEW INCARNATION
OF OUR COMPANY.

OH, WHICH BRINGS ME
TO ANOTHER POINT.

IT'S MY UNDERSTANDING
THAT YOU HAVE A STORY

CLAIRE SINCLAIRE
CONTRIBUTED TO?

THAT'S NOT REALLY
IN OUR BEST INTEREST,

WOULDN'T YOU AGREE?

GOOD.

LOOK FORWARD
TO SEEING YOU, LOU.

[phone beeps]

[chuckles]

I HAD PETERS DO
A BACKGROUND CHECK ON YOU

AFTER YOU ARRIVED.

SO YOU'VE--

KNOWN EXACTLY
WHO YOU ARE,

ALMOST FROM THE START.

WHY DIDN'T YOU
SAY ANYTHING?

WE WERE CURIOUS
ABOUT WHERE THIS WAS GOING,

WEREN'T WE?

VERY CURIOUS.

I DECIDED TO TAKE
A PROACTIVE ROLE

IN PREVENTING ANY POSSIBLE STORY
FROM BEING RELEASED.

SO YOU'RE REALLY
GONNA BUY A GOSSIP RAG?

[laughs]
I AM.

THOUGH A CHANGE
IN A MORE POSITIVE DIRECTION

MAY BE IN ORDER.

YOU DELIBERATELY TOLD ME
WHAT CLAIRE DID.

OF COURSE.

IF YOU MADE A MOVE TO PUBLISH
WHAT I TOLD YOU,

THEN I WOULD KNOW
YOU COULDN'T BE TRUSTED.

IF YOU DIDN'T,
THEN I WOULD KNOW YOU COULD.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOU WERE A FIRM BELIEVER

IN THINGS WORKING OUT
AS THEY SHOULD.

I AM.

THAT DOESN'T MEAN

I CAN'T GIVE THEM
AN OCCASIONAL PUSH.

GRETA, WOULD YOU LIKE
TO JOIN US FOR DINNER?

UM, THANK YOU,
BUT, UH, I SHOULD GO.

PLEASE DON'T HATE ME
FOR THIS.

WHAT IS IT?

GRETA SUBMITTED MY NOVEL
TO A PUBLISHER,

UNDER A PSEUDONYM.

DID THEY LIKE IT?

- YOU WROTE A NOVEL?
- HEY.

THEY WANT TO TALK
ABOUT A CONTRACT.

CONGRATULATIONS.

SO DOES THIS MEAN
THAT YOU'RE NOT

GONNA BE GOING
INTO POLITICS NOW?

IT MEANS I HAVE A LOT
OF THINGS TO CONSIDER,

LIKE THE TANNENHILL NAME.

I THINK
IT'LL LOOK LOVELY

ON THE TOP
OF THE BEST-SELLER LIST.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

THIS IS YOUR DREAM,
ISN'T IT?

- TO BE A WRITER?
- IT IS.

- THEN FOLLOW IT.
- ARE YOU SURE?

I COULDN'T BE MORE SURE
OR MORE PROUD.

NOW, MORE IMPORTANTLY,

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO
ABOUT GRETA?

OH, MOM,
SHE'S A TABLOID REPORTER.

I WAS JUST A STORY.

IF YOU WERE JUST A STORY,
SHE WOULD HAVE WRITTEN IT.

SHE DIDN'T.

[Wrapped Up in Love]

♪

♪ SANTA, BABY

♪ I DON'T
USUALLY ASK FOR MUCH ♪

♪ JUST THIS ONCE

♪ I'VE GOT ONE WISH

♪ JUST TO GET

♪ BENEATH THE MAGIC MISTLETOE

♪ NOSE TO NOSE

♪ FOR JUST ONE KISS

♪

♪ I WANNA BE WRAPPED UP
IN LOVE ♪

♪

♪ I WANNA BE
WRAPPED UP IN LOVE ♪

♪

♪ I WANNA BE WRAPPED UP
IN LOVE ♪

HI.

HI.

♪ I WANNA BE
WRAPPED UP IN LOVE ♪

HOW'D YOU KNOW
I WAS GONNA BE HERE?

THE ODDEST THING.

THIS WAS SENT TO ME
A COUPLE DAYS AGO

WITH A NOTE
FROM "DORIA'S DRESS."

- SHE DIDN'T.
- SHE DID.

[laughs]

I GOT TO ADMIT,
IT LOOKS MUCH BETTER

THAN THE LAST TIME
I SAW IT.

COVERED IN SNOW?

WHEN YOU MADE UP THAT
RIDICULOUS RUNAWAY BRIDE EXCUSE.

- ALMOST BRIDE.
- MM.

AND I WAS LOOKING
FOR A STORY.

WHICH, MISS KANE,

I DO BELIEVE YOU FOUND.

IT NEEDS AN ENDING.

I GOT AN IDEA.

YOU DO?

I DO.

♪

♪ I WANNA BE WRAPPED UP
IN LOVE ♪

♪

♪ I WANNA BE
WRAPPED UP IN LOVE ♪

[We Wish You a Merry Christmas]

♪