Smiley Face (2007) - full transcript

This is the story

of how a person
got from point A

to point Z.

Some call it fate,
others, chance.

But whatever
you call it,

it sure is an interesting
thing to ponder, don't
you think?

The twisted paths
our lives follow.

How did you get here?

The place where you are
right now at this
very moment.

What series of events
brought you to
this place?

At this specific
point in time?



Where are you in life?

Are things turning out
the way you'd planned?

And by the way,
when was the last time

you spoke with
your parents?

Don't you think
you ought to give
them a call?

To thank them
for the set
of circumstances

that brought
them together,

at a certain place,

at a certain
moment in time,

when you
were created.

Uhh,

what were we
talking about?

How you
got here.

Yeah.



Jesus Christ,
I can't believe

I'm still so...

uh,

Stoned?

Yeah!

A glass of orange juice
sure would hit the spot
about now, wouldn't it?

And some Tostitos.

That's it!
Oh, man!

That's exactly
what I'm thinking!

OJ and Tostitos!
Jesus!

It's like you're
reading my thoughts
or something!

I am.

Whoa.

So go on.

What am
I thinking
about now?

Well, there are many
thoughts racing through
your head.

The first concerns
the orange juice
and Tostitos.

Yeah.

And the second,

the second thought,
oh, how it vexes you.

U h-huh.
What is it?

It is this.

Why are you having
a conversation with
Roscoe Lee Browne?

Ha!
Roscoe Lee?

Holy shit!
You're famous!

Yes, I am.

I can't fucking
believe I'm having
a conversation

with Roscoe
Lee Browne!

Okay. Ready
for number three?

You bet I
am, Roscoe.

Your third thought
is simply this. ;

How in the hell

did I end up
on a ferris wheel?

How did
you know that?

Because, you
fucking pothead,

you're talking
to yourself.

Shit. How the hell
did I get here?

I guess maybe it was

a little early
in the morning to
be getting stoned.

But whatever,
you know.

It's not like
I just sit around

collecting checks
from my parents
or something.

I did that regional
soda ad a while back,

Doctor Bjorn's Famous
Old-Fashioned Root Beer.

Maybe you saw
it? Anyhow,
between that

and unemployment I
get by. Bla-bla-bla.

All I know
is this game is

so fucking cool
when you're high.

They say a true pothead
stops getting the munchies

after a certain point.
I mean, a true pothead

wouldn't even say
the word "munchies."
I don't know

what the true
pothead would say,

"Munchos" or "hungries"
or something.

At any rate, I still
love to eat when
I'm high.

So fuck you
if you're too cool

to get hungry
when you're stoned.

My free one year supply
of Doctor Bjorn's.
Neat, huh?

I n the six months
I've lived with my
roommate, Steve,

I've never seen
him get high.

Not once.

He even kind
of looks down
on me for doing it.

God, you are
so pathetic.

H uh?

Here's the deal
with Steve.

He scares me.

Oh, hi, Steve.

See what I mean?

Steve's one of those
"Dress in costume

and wait in line
for Star Wars" types,

but angry.

Real anti-social.

I've always tried
to stay on Steve's
good side,

who knows what can
happen with a
weirdo like that?

Mm!
Mm!

I know he made
that sign telling
me not to,

but I had a counter plan.
A really good counter plan.

I would bake
Steve some
more cupcakes.

Some even
better cupcakes.

And then,

I recognized
the true nature

of the cupcakes
I had consumed.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck.

Listen, Jane.
I really busted
my ass

getting you this
audition so please,
please, please

don't fuck it up.
It seems like you
don't even give

a shit about
any of this.

Do you?
Do you even
give a shit?

I give a shit.

Plan... need a plan.

My plan.

N umber one.
Buy more pot.

You know,
so I can make more
cupcakes for Steve.

N umber two. ; use
the money Steve left

for the power bill to
purchase said pot.

That way I
can bake some
fresh cupcakes

before he gets back.

Then I'll go
to my audition.

I mean, number three. ;
go to my audition.

I've never been
to an audition
this stoned before.

But I'd be willing to wager
that I'd be damned good

because I'll be even
more in touch with
my creative self

That's not really
a part of the plan.
Scratch that.

Four. ; hit the cash machine,
zip on over to pay
that power bill,

pick up cupcake
supplies at the store

and head on back
to home base to
bake 'em up.

Not bad... for a person
who happens to
be quite stoned.

You're baked.

No.

What makes
you think that?

Just, you
know, the usual.

Actually, you
better make it
a full ounce.

I 'm gonna
be making
some cupcakes.

You got it.

What's going on
over there?

Who's there?
Is someone
in my apartment?

Man, you really
are stoned.

N umber one. ;
Buy more pot.

You're like
40 short.

Can I just...

you know...

Goddamn it, Jane,
this is the last time.

You have to pay
me back today.

No problem-o.

I 'm marking
it down...
in the book.

I just gotta hit
the cash machine,
my man.

It's all
about capitalism

and shit like
that, you know?

Who creates the jobs?
Where do they
come from?

The profits
I make,
for example,

trickle down through
the economy in ways
I can't even comprehend.

It makes sense.
I 'm totally vibing
you, dude.

Yeah, simple Reaganomics
apply to the production
of hemp.

Well, I don't think
that really qualifies
as Reaganomics, but...

What are you
talking about?

Just because
weed isn't taxed

doesn't mean
it exists in
some sort of,

you know, laissez
faire paradigm
or whatever.

Did you just
use "paradigm"
in a sentence?

Yeah, man.

I mean,
what you do
is great and all,

God bless you
for it, but it sounds

like plain old market
capitalism to me.

It's Reaganomics.
Trust me.

What about it
is Reaganomics? The
black market isn't taxed.

Listen, Jane,
you're fucking stoned

and I happen to be
very knowledgeable
about this.

Whoopee! You
own a U V lamp. Let's
start the revolution!

What the fuck do
you know about
economics anyway?

Well... I majored
in economics
in college

and graduated
fucking Summa.

I think I know
a thing or two
about it.

I thought you
were an actress.

Economics didn't
really work out.

This is
where I 'll be.

Meet me there with
the money at
three o'clock.

Yeah.
Okay.

What is this?

I 'vet never even
heard of half of
these movies.

Oh.

Actually, my
roommate's hosting this

science fiction
nerd convention
this weekend

with his buddies
flying in from
Toledo and...

Hey!

Three o'clock!
Meet me in Venice

with the money
at three.

Do not make me send
my associates
over here

to collect
the hard way.

You mean,
like kill me?

No, Jesus.
Of course not.

So you'll probably
just break my
arms, then?

Break your arms?
Janey, what
the fuck?

I 'm a dude
who sells weed,

I 'm not Tony
fucking Soprano.

Well, what then?

I don't know.

Take your furniture,
or something.

H mm.

So, Jane,

what's the deal
with your roommate?

Steve?

What about him?

He gives me
the creeps.

I think he might
be one of those
skull fuckers.

Know what
I 'm saying?

I bet that dude
fucks skulls,

with candles
and shit.

Oh my God!
You're right!

He's a fucking freak.

So, listen.

It would be a shame
if you didn't pay
me back today,

and in addition
to taking
your furniture,

I had to tell
your roommate

how you spent
the cash for
the power bill.

Hello?

Jane?

Hey!

Is this...?

Who is this?

It's Kyle.

Oh, hey, baby,
what's up?

You asked me
to call you

to remind
you to go
to that audition?

Are you stoned?

Stoned?

It's fucking 10.;45
in the morning.

Know what, Jane?
This isn't really
working out.

L-I don't understand.
You're speaking
in riddles.

Kyle, you need to
listen very carefully

to what I 'm saying
and stop trying to
confuse the issue.

What? Wait, Kyle!
I can't hear you!

Kyle! Hold on!
I just have to...
Shut up!

Oh, shit.

Kyle? You still there?

Now what am
I gonna do?

I can't.

I daren't.

I really shouldn't.

The government weed.

I was saving the
government weed for
a special occasion,

but the government weed
will fetch a fair price
on the open market.

A very fair price.

Maybe just enough
to bail me out of
this jam.

N umber three. ;
Go to my audition.

Whoa.

That was intense.

Getting on?

I've never ridden
a bus in
L.A. Before.

This is
gonna be fun.

Yeah, you're in
for a real treat.

Hey I You squashed
Bobby's car.

He spent
weeks putting
that together.

Hey, right on.
Look what
you've done.

I saw her.
She just

fell right over.
She didn't even
try to stay up.

Hey! One
thirty-five!

Okay.
Hold on.

Get up.

I'm trying.

There's something
wrong with her.

There's nothing
wrong with
me, lady.

What was it
doing on the
floor anyway?

It wasn't
on the floor,
fucking pothead.

You knocked
it out of
his hands.

I saw it.

I'm sorry.

That's not gonna
bring his
car back.

I think she's
on drugs.

He built
that for
his grandfather,

in the hospital.

Hey, lady!
One thirty five!

I'm getting it!

Hey!

Hey!

That was a close one.

"Come on, Frank.

"You know
I love surprises.

That's a fact.
I'm always willing
to make exceptions."

What a piece of shit.

"Come on, Frank.

"You know
I love surprises.

That's a fact.
I 'm always willing
to make exceptions?"

"I 'm always willing
to make exceptions!"

"I 'm always willing
to make exceptions!

"I'm always willing
to make exceptions!!"

Four. Hit the
cash machine.

Wha...? I had over
a thousand dollars
in this account!

Oh, yeah.

Oh, no!

Take your furniture
or something like that.

No! Not my bed!
Not my Sleep
N umber bed!

Hey I

You forgot
to sign in.

"Come on, Frank.
You know I
love surprises."

Have a seat.

Hi.

Do you have
any gum?

Uhm,

I, uh,

wait.

Holy shit!
Where'd this
come from?

Do you
want some?

No, thank you!
No, no, no.

Seriously. I
could really use
the cash.

No, I don't.

200 bucks.

No, I don't want any.
No. I don't want it.

I 'm really
stoned. Sorry.

Jane! Jane!

Yeah!
Yes, here!

Are you ready?

You betcha!

Hello.

Hi! I 'm Jane.
It's nice to
meet you.

I, um, heard
a lot about you.

Excuse me?

Nothing.

Whee!

Are you alright?

I'm fantastic!
How are you?

I'm fine.

Great!

Hang on a second.

What?

H uh?

Did you just
say something?

Who, me?

Yes.

I'm sorry.
I didn't realize
I had spoken.

Are you ready?

I sure am.

Are you ready?

I sure am.

Okay.

"Come on, Frank!

You know
I love surprises!"

I'm gonna stop
you right there.

I want you
to do it again,
but this time,

pull it
way back.

Okay. Sure.
Sure. You got it.

"Come on, Frank. You
know I love surprises."

What are
you doing?

I'm pulling it back.

Not that much.
Can't you find
some middle ground?

You better believe
I can find a
middle ground!

Middle ground
is my middle name!

Thank you.

So how'd I do?

You did some
very interesting work.

Really?
Yes!

Well, thanks.
You have a
wonderful day.

Hey, let me
ask you something.

Do you want to
buy some pot?

Are you trying
to sell me drugs?

Well...

Young lady, have
a seat outside!

Gee, you don't
have to yell.

Sit!

Here?

I n the
waiting area!!

Bob I Get
in here!

Tried to sell
me marijuana.

Hey! Guys, I
was just kidding.

She tried to
sell you what?!

Do you remember
Anyone here

No, you don't remember
Anything at all

Never woke up

There's a party
I n my mind

I'm hoping
Never stops

There's a party
U p there

I'm taking
a shit!

Hold on!
I'm shitting!

I 'm just
taking a shit!

Still shitting!
Nothing to worry about.

I 'm just taking
a big old dump.

That's it.
All done.
I'm finished.

You got
nothing on me!
Nada! Zilcho!

Go ahead and frisk me!
Give it your best shot!

Hello there, Smiley.

Hi, Jane.

Meet me in
Venice at three.

You better
get going.

I 'm way ahead of
you, Smiley. Way
ahead of you.

Shelly!

This is Shelly.

Please leave
a message.

Hey, Shelly I
Guess who!

So, listen. I'm
looking for a ride

out to Venice
for this Hemp
Festival thing.

And it sounds
cool, right?

Anyway, I thought
you might dig it.

But I guess
you're not there.

U m,

Jesus, Shelly, I'm
so fucking stoned
you wouldn't believe it!

Call me.

Hi, please leave
a message

for me or Tony
after the beep.

U h,

who is
this again?

Hello?

Mrs. Green?

Yes.

It's Jane!

Who?

Jane! I studied
clarinet with you!

It doesn't
really ring a...
H mm, I, I don't...

Brevin Ericson.

Oh, boy.

Shall we say a few words
about Brevin Ericson?

Shall we say
a few words
about love?

For Brevin Ericson
is completely,

100% head
over heels
in love.

Perhaps it's difficult
for you to comprehend

how anybody could be
so passionately
inclined toward

someone like this.

But do not judge
her too harshly.

After all, how was
she to know they
were pot cupcakes?

And ask yourselves,
who amongst you

might not have
done the same?

Who are we to judge
heartbeats in a
young man's heart?

Do you want Lightning
Strikes Thrice?

Yeah.

Do you want
Secret Secret Agents?

I already have...

Exactly.

Dude, your roommate
is kind of hot.

You're kidding,
right?

You're so good.

No!

Oh, Brevin I

You're beating me.

Damn it I

Oh, Brevin,
right in there.

Oh I

Oh, yeah.

But...

I thought you
had a boyfriend.

We're kinda
taking a break
right now.

M m-hmm.

What's that got
to do with anything?

I 'm talking about
something bigger
than our petty yearnings.

Of course.

So are we doing
this or what?

Well...

Come on, man.
It's going to be
fucking transformative.

It sounds great.
I just...

What?

I, uh...

So, you are sure
you want to come to
the dentist with me?

Absolutely, man.
Absolutely.

Let me just drop
you off at a coffee
shop or something.

No, not necessary,
my good man.

I 'm really looking
forward to it.

So last week
they worked on
my left side.

Today they're gonna
finish on my right.

And I tell you, Jane,
they really get in there
deep with the scraping.

A deep scraping?

Yeah.

That sounds
fucking awesome.

Maybe I
should get one.

I think you need
an appointment.

Oh, yeah.

An appointment.

Yep, that's pretty
funny I guess.

I don't even know
what I 'm laughing at.

So, how much
do you think
you'd need?

I don't know.
Like five...

Dollars?

Yeah, I need
to borrow $5.

Well, what then?
Like $500?

Yeah, that
should do it.

Really?

Hey, if you can't,
it's no biggie.

No, I can
swing that.

Really?

You're gonna pay
me back, right?

Absolutely.
Of course.

My wallet's
in the glove box.
Get it for me?

I may have
five C notes
right here.

That would be
so fucking great.

Nope. I don't
have it.

We're gonna
have to stop
at a machine.

Why do you need
500 dollars again?

Well...

I don't think Steve
would fuck a skull.

Why do you
keep it in
the glove box?

What?

Your wallet.

It's too thick.
It hurts my butt
when I 'm driving.

That makes
total sense.

Hey!

What?

Oh I I've been
to that housel

Which house?

That one back there!

An old college
professor of mine
lives there.

Really?

Yeah.

He was a pretty
good dude.

What'd he teach?

Marxist studies.

Marxist studies.

Yup.

He introduced me
to some pretty
out there concepts.

Some pretty
radical ideas.

So,
Were you, like,
seeing him?

What do you mean,
"seeing him?"

Were you
seeing him?

Do you mean
like dating him?

Yeah.

Ew! He was a fucking
Marxist, man!

Marxist?

Why would you even
ask something
like that?

Oh.

There's a space.

Where?

Right there, man!

Come on, dude!
We don't want
to be late

for that dentist
appointment of yours!

U h, right, right.
Right.

You comin'
or what?

Yeah.

So are
you scared?

About what,
the dentist?

No, I 'vet never really
been bothered by
going to the dentist.

It would freak the shit
out of me right now
if I had to go in there.

I don't think
I could handle it.

I kind of like it.

I mean, it's not like
I 'm a masochist
or anything, it's just,

well, in a way, it
makes me feel like,

yeah,

my teeth are being
taken care of,
you know?

It make me feel...

prosperous.

I 'm sorry, were
you talking
about something?

U m,

Oh, yeah.
Great.

It makes you
feel prosperous
or something.

I'm bored.

Ericson?

That's me.

Okay, I guess
I will see you
in a little bit.

Till we
meet again

Okay.

He's not
my boyfriend
or anything.

Just a friend.

I n case you were
wondering what my
relationship to him was.

Or not.

How's it going?

Thanks, Gina.

Oh! Thank
fucking God!

This has been
the longest, dullest...

most uncomfortable
thing I can remember
ever doing.

I really thought
I was gonna die
of boredom.

I gotta pay still.

Oh, come on.
Can't we go already?

Hey, Jane. What time
do you think it was

that I picked you?

What was that?

Hey.

Why don't you come
over here while your
friend's talking to you?

Young lady,
come here.

Come here!

Look at me.

Look at me.
I 'm not playing
games here.

It's really bright
out, officer.

Would you mind
removing your hand
from your forehead?

It's really
bright out.

What's your name?

U h...

Christy?

You don't
sound too
sure of that.

No, it's Christy.

Well, Christy,

how come your friend
just called you Jane
a second ago?

Jane's, uh, my...

religious name?

Your religious name?

Am I
under arrest?

Why would you be
under arrest?

Have you done
something I should
know about?

No, l... shit.
I mean, shoot!

Sir, do you mind
opening your
trunk for me?

My trunk?

No. Wait, excuse me.
We called you
because... my car...

Now, Christy,

am I gonna find
whatever kind of drugs
you're on in here?

Christy.

Chris-ty.

Oh, Jesus
Christ, Jane!

Yeah?

Her name's
not Christy,
it's Jane.

I don't even
know why you're
doing that.

What do
you have
in here, son?

I don't know.
Just some stuff.

Folders that
I was supposed

to bring to my dad's office
but didn't because
he's an ass.

What's that?

A tennis racket.

And that is a tennis ball.
I wish I had more, but
my dog eats them.

Jack head,
paper clips,

shoes,

Hello.

Hi.

You're a
little early.

Well, are you
coming in
or what?

H uh.

Peter's not back
from the airport yet.

So why don't you
just have a seat and
I'll go get it for you?

Okay.

Would you
like something
to drink?

U h, do you have
any lemonade?

Oh, no. I 'm sorry.
How about some
orange juice?

Yeah, that sounds
good actually.

All right.
Are you hungry?

Well... now that
you mention it,

I wouldn't mind
something to
munch on.

You know,
like chips
or whatever.

Well, let me
see what I
can find.

Here we go.

Thanks.

What's with
the corn?

Excuse me?

Oh, that's
a photo
of Peter's.

I suppose that's
his idea of avant
garde or something.

How long
have you been
Peter's T.A.?

Who?

Peter.

Oh, you mean
Professor Harwood.

Yes.

Well, for quite
a while now.

I guess it didn't
work out with
that other girl.

I guess not.

Well, it's very
nice to meet
you, uh...

Jane.

Jane. I 'm Shirley,
Peter's mother.

Shirley, of course.
Peter talks about
you all the time.

He does?

Oh, yeah.
Constantly.

I'll just go and
get what you
came for,

so that you can
be on your way.

That is where
corn chips
come from.

H mm, maybe old
Professor Harwood
is onto something.

He probably
really loves corn,

and all corn
related products.

I mean, isn't that what
you're supposed to
put in a frame?

Things you love?

I'm gonna do that.
When I get home,

I'm gonna frame
a bunch of stuff
I love.

Like lasagna.
I love lasagna.

It's so good,
and cheesy.

You know who else
loves lasagna?
Garfield.

Man, that cat really
loves lasagna.

Maybe I should put
a picture of Garfield
in a frame.

As a kind of shorthand
way of saying
I love lasagna.

That would be
so fucking inside.

Or how about a photo
of President Garfield?

Oh, shit. That'd
be totally meta.

People would be all like,
"Jane, why do you
have a photo

of President Garfield
on your mantle?"

And I'd be like
"Because I like
lasagna, of course."

Oh, my,
what happened?

Did you fall?

Yes, that's exactly
what happened.

I was reaching
for something and
I kind of rolled off.

Well, are you
all right?

Oh yeah,
I 'm fine.

Are you hiding
from someone?

Of course not.
Why would you
ask that?

It seems like
you're hiding
from somebody.

I don't know
what you're talking
about, Shirley.

Well,

here you go.

Great. Thanks
a lot.

Now I 'm sure
Peter's told
you this already,

but he wanted me
to be sure to tell
you to take this

straight to his office
and put it in the safe.

Oh, of course.

Well, I guess
that's it then.

Okay.

See yah.

Holy fucking shit.

Oh!

Hi.

Hi.

I 'm just waiting
for my clothes
to dry.

Those are
my clothes.

Right. I 'm waiting
for your clothes
to dry, so that I can...

dry my clothes.

Where are
your clothes?

I n my bathtub.

Excuse me.

Hey,

let me ask
you something.

Suppose you had
a very rare...

Let go of my arm.

Sorry.

We're cool.
We're just
talking here, right?

Laundry buddies.

Do you even live
in this building?

That's not
relevant right now,
laundry buddy.

Let's suppose
a person had in
their possession,

a very old...
very rare...

book.

What kind
of book?

A very
influential book.

A book
that has
changed history.

I have no idea
what the fuck
you're talking about.

Hey, dude.
What's with
the hostility?

You give me
the creeps.

The creeps?

Take it
somewhere else

before I call
the cops?

Whoa! Hold
on there!

If you want
me to leave,
I can go.

Thank you.

I'm going, dude.

Goodbye, dude.

It's always me.

Sweet mother
of Christ.

What 're
you doing?

I 'm just,
I was trying...

I'm calling
the cops.

Hey, don't do that.

I 'm gonna
give it back.
I swear!

What use could I possibly
have for a musty
200-year old book?

Don't put me
on hold I

Hey!

She's getting away I
I will find you ! I am
a Marine Reservist I

Phew.

No.

Wow, do you
look fucked up.

Come on, Hercules.

A w, cute pig.

The truck bed's open.

It's headed west.

To Venice.

I don't see
the connection.

Wait a minute.
It's coming to me.

Buzz.

It smells like
sausage in here.

Time for a
revised plan.

N umber one. ;
Get to that
Hemp Festival.

N umber two. ; Try
to convince Steve
not to steal my furniture.

Especially not
my bed.
Oh God.

Anything but that.

N umber three. ; Once
I've convinced Steve
not to steal my bed,

try to figure out
a way to return the
Communist Manifesto

without getting arrested.
Possibly via the
U. S. Postal Service.

No, Global Express
is much more reliable.

Now that sounds
like an awesome
revised plan.

Next stop. ;
Venice, California.

Holy shit I

What?

Dude.

Are we in
Venice yet?

Venice?!

Lady, we, we're
in fucking
El Monte.

Where?

Do you guys
kill pigs here?

No, that happens
way before
they get here.

We keep the pigs
on ice though, until
we need them.

Shut the fuck up.

Albert, she asked.

Hey, fellas.

Now you
did it.

What are you
doing on the floor?

Who the hell
are you?

You know the rules, Mikey.
No girlfriends allowed
in the plant.

Oh no, M r. Spencer,
this isn't my girl...

I 'm not his
girlfriend, dude.
Believe me.

Mikey, Albert,
would you mind
explaining to me

what's going
on here?

U h...

I 'm here
to organize
a union.

What?!

That's right.
I always make
it a point

to get to know the
workers personally,

and these two gentlemen
were kind enough to give
me a little tour.

Albert, I thought
we cleared up

all that union
nonsense last year.

We did, sir.
I was just showing
her the way out.

Look, M r. Spencer,
is it?

How much stake do
you personally have
in this organization?

Well, not that
it's any of
your business,

but I've got
a very generous
benefit package.

A generous
benefit package.

Listen to how quickly
the lackey adopts

the language of
his master.

Ma'am, I am going
to ask you one
time nicely.

Tell your people
that we are
not interested.

I'll tell my
people all right.

But first, I have
a little message

for you to tell
your people.

You tell
your people

the slaughterers of pigs,
the profiteering cowards

who dishonestly hide
their dirty business

behind a sweet, happy
logo of a cute pig,

while they manufacture
misery and death.

Ma'am.

Please, sir, allow
me to finish.

Just look around you.

Do you see it?
Can you hear it?

And you, sir,
stand here

in this warehouse
of death!

And you have
the audacity
to tell me

that you have
a generous
benefit package?

And them?

Do they have
a generous
benefit package?

I think we all know
the answer to that.
Don't we?

It is a tale
as old as man.

The history
of all hither to
existing society,

is the history
of class struggle.

The free man and slave,
the lord and serf,

in a word, oppressor
and oppressed,

stood in constant
opposition to
one another,

carrying on an
uninterrupted fight.

A fight that each
time ended

in either revolutionary
reconstitution of
society at large,

or in a complete
and total ruin!

You tell your
people that!

You think you're
so, um, uh...

Jesus! And then you go
on and on about
this and that

and all this other
bullshit and all I
have to say is

fuck, man! I mean,
this situation is
totally fucked.

With a capital!
I mean, have
you ever...

Do you like even...

Well, do you?

You tell your
people that.

Ohhh!

Ow.

Meet me in
Venice at three.

Take this straight to his
office and put it in the safe.

I'd probably take
your furniture.

Are you trying to
sell me drugs?

Young lady,
come here.

Jane. Jane!

You give me
the creeps.

Christy. Psst.
Chris-ty

Psst. Jesus!
Jane. Hey. Jane.

Jane.

Hey.

What are
you doing?

I don't even know
where I am.

Do you
want a ride?

N umber one. ; Get to
that Hemp Festival.

So you like
to smoke a lot
of weed, huh?

Not really.

So are you like
a Communist
or something?

No, man.
I 'm not
a Communist.

What's in Venice that
you've got to go all
the way out there for?

I 'm supposed to
be meeting someone.

H mm.

Can I ask
you something?

Sure.

If you could,
with a single act,

change the whole
trajectory of your
life, would you do it?

The trajectory
of my life?

Yeah, the direction your
life is headed in.
Where you're going.

U h, I don't
know. U m,

I guess not.
I've got a good
job. Why?

I 'm thinking about
changing the trajectory
of my life, that's all.

That's cool.

God. I get so horny
when I 'm stoned.

What?

Pot makes me
so fucking horny.

Does it have
that affect on you?

I 'm not stoned
right now. But...

Let's just fuck.
Right here,
right now,

I n the car. I n the
middle of this
fucking traffic jam.

I don't want
to get in
an accident.

Come on, Mikey.
Fuck me.

Fuck me right now.
You know you want to.

Come on, Mikey.
Fuck me!

Fuck me! Yeah I
Fuck me!

Fuck me!
Oh, yeah!

Come on!
Fuck me, Mikey!

This traffic
sucks, huh?

H uh?

This traffic...
It sucks.

Oh, yeah.

Right.

H mm.

Oh, my God! No!
I got to go!

We're on the freeway.
What are you doing?

I have to stop
my dealer from
stealing my bed!

What are you
talking about?

There's no time to...
I gotta... Bye!

Jane!
Jane!

Where the hell
are you going?

Jane!

N umber two. ;
Try to convince Steve
not to steal my bed.

You shouldn't be
walking on the
freeway. It's dangerous.

I guess.

Where are
you headed?

Venice.

That's where
I'm going.

I'll give
you a lift.

Hold on.

Well, I hope you find
whatever it is you're
looking for.

Thanks.
You too.

She was nice.

Carrot Top!

Excuse me, did you
just come from
the Hemp Fest?

No, man. I 'm
from Bethlehem.

Oh, sorry.

Dude, I 'm just
fucking with you.
But it's kind of over.

What?

You're a bong
hit late.
It's done-ski.

No!

Hey, is this the
Thirty-third Annual
Venice Hemp Fest?

Not any more.

Oh, you've got
to be kidding me!

I 'm supposed to meet
my dealer here.

Do you know him?
H is name's Steve.

Steve? Oh, yeah!

Is he a dude, he's
got like two arms,
two legs,

And a head.

That's Steve.
Yeah.

Forget it.

Have a fun ride.

I n that moment,

perched high
above the earth,

high above those
who had come so
far to find her,

Jane knew what
she had to do.

Jane was
no schemer,
no conniver,

no thief.

Jane knew that
deep down she
was pure of heart.

And that she
did not want
to contribute

to the toll of human
misery and suffering
in the world.

She knew
the time
had come

to take responsibility
for what she'd done,

and to return
the book to its
rightful owner.

That her intentions
were honorable, that
there'd be no doubt.

But what puzzled many
on that day was not the
virtue of her intentions.

Hey!

What puzzled
many was why.

Hey!

By what bizarre
and convoluted logic,

did she arrive
at the decision
to do

what you're
about to see?

I n short,
what the fuck
was she thinking?

- Whoa!
- Hey!

U p here!

Brevin!
I'm up here!

Oh no.

Heyyy!

Ohhh!

Help.

Whoa.

So, my dad plays
golf with this guy,

who is a pretty good
criminal attorney.

I think he's
a criminal attorney.

He's definitely
a lawyer.

I could try to hook
you up with him
if you want.

Yeah, that
sounds good.

Well, Brevin, it sure
has been a fucking
day, huh?

Yeah, I guess.

What a weird
fucking dream.

Hey, stoner!
Back to work!

Sorry.

This has been the story
of how a person started at A,

got to Z, and
somehow ended up

collecting garbage
by the side of
the freeway.

And I think you'll all
agree that much like
life itself,

it certainly has
been... one hell
of a crazy ride.