Sällskapsresan eller Finns det svenskt kaffe på grisfesten (1980) - full transcript

Stig-Helmer Olsson isn't the fashionable jet-set type, but, for the first time in his life, he's going to travel abroad. He chooses a trip to the Canary Islands over Christmas. Before leaving, his doctor asks him to bring a package to a friend of his. Without Stig-Helmer knowing it, the package contains 50,000 SEK, which is illegal to bring out of the country. However, Stig-Helmer's bag with the package disappears at the airport. Dr. Levander's friend believes that Stig-Helmer has stolen the money and is anxious to get them back.

foodval.com - stop by if you're interested in the nutritional composition of food
- Excuse me, is this your car?
- No.

Okay, lads!

What the hell are you doing?!

- I just went to collect some flight tickets.
- I'm only doing my job.

You're punishing honest drivers, but to
straighten out the youth you can't handle!

Bloody guardian mentality!

- Isn't it tough when everyone yells?
- Yes it is, but I'm only doing my job.

Luckily I'm going on vacation.

- Where are you going?
- To Nueva Estocolmo for Christmas.

- I'm also thinking of that.
- So then we might see each other there.

So it is a safe buy then?

Sure - highest Swedish standard
and a good location.

Nueva Estocolmo
- a fail-safe investment.

We've been thinking about a cottage. - now
that the loans have been paid and everything.

Not with black money, Levander.

- How are we to do with the money?
- Operation Christmas present.

They don't care about
the charter tourists.

- A Christmas present?
- All customs officials have been kids.

It is emotionally right.
Psychology, Levander.


Es una iglesia.

Es una iglesia. It is a church

- I hope we won't get use of that.
- Me to.

- Is Gösta married?
- Yes.

But she isn't allowed to come.
Isn't that typical?

It will be such fun going!

It must be nice after the divorce,
not to be alone on Christmas.

We must turn side of the record.

Oops, I think
the sangria went to the knees!

- Do you think we'll meet any 10 point guys?
- Quit it, I'm tired of men!

You've only been unlucky.
Good that you got rid of Sture.

- There was nothing wrong with Sture.
- Are you defending him now? God!

Just the name - Sture! Could he talk about
something else than football and baked beans?

10... 20... 30...

...40... 50000

Does this look innocent to you? Now we
only have to find someone to transport it.

Won't you do that?

- You said it was fail-safe
- It is fail-safe

- I dread the flight.
- It will be alright.

A large whiskey and Sivan Åman is in shape.
Worst case I'll have to take Valium.

I read about some fear of flight clinic.
You attend some sort of therapy.

I thought you were through
with psychologists. Sorry...

Do you have to work down there?

Gösta is buying a bungalow,
or what they're called, for some customer.

- Are you... I mean, have you...
- Are you out of your mind!

Of course he checks me
out from time to time.

Then I use to have tight
skirts and cut lows.

Fill out this form with social security
number and have a seat and wait.

Fear is normal in
the human defense system.

In stress- and defense states you have
to be able to relax. Do like this.

Stretch out your arms - straight out.


Close your eyes.

Feel how relaxed your arms are.

Then take a deep breath.

Say after me:
I can fly, I'm not afraid.

I can fly, I'm not afraid.

Do this exercise every time you
feel tendencies to fear of flight.


OK, that's it!

- Your going on Saturday, right?
- Yes...

Could I ask a favor of you?

I have a relative at the Canary Islands that
lives there due to his Epicondytilis humeri.

I would like to send her a
Christmas greeting. this package.

Could you bring it with you and leave
it at the Viking Bar in Nueva Estocolmo?

- Viking Bar in Nueva Estocolmo.
- Really nice of you.

So, you pay at the cashier.
And good luck with the flight.

The flight....
I can fly, I'm not afraid.

You will do fine. Good luck.

- The package! Viking Bar.
- Viking Bar.

- Bye!
- Bye. -Next!

Fill out this form,
and have a seat and wait.

Hi there!

Hi! So, you don't like flying either.

I vaccinated myself and thought I could
attend some FOF-therapy as well.

- Will you take the diet guidance as well?
- No... Bye!

The package!

Could you print out these,
and call Dr Levander for me?

- Do you want some coffee?
- Yes please, just what I was thinking of...

How much is a wedding trip
to the Canary Islands?

- It depends on where you live.
- We live in Mjölby.

This is the addition for high season and
cancellation insurance and traveling insurance.

- This is the fuel addition.
- So many additions...

With SunTrips Trapp Trull-account you divide
the cost in three payments and get a sun hat -

- and a beach bag.

You can also buy this nice
SunTrip-shirt for only 15kr

- What is this?
- Nose protection, that's for free.

- Like this?
- Yes, that's right.

I wish you a Merry Christmas,
and a pleasant flight.

The Package!

leptosome... indolent...

Well, well, but what does he look like?

He's dark, in his 40ies,
glasses, moustache...

I said the package was for a
relative with Epicondytilis humeri.

- So, what does that mean?
- Tennis elbow.

What's his name?
The one with moustache and glasses?

Stig Helmer Olsson, 400703-0356

It is half past nine and time for
the "Morning session" with Kjell Grane.

Good Morning! It will be nice to
move a little don't you think.

Wednesday the 19:Th of December.
Be careful with the fat Christmas food.

We'll get rid of a little of it. Come on
and let's start slowly by jogging.

sneaking start.


Sneaking, elastic...
Jogging start, jogging start...

flexible and light...

Bend and stretch your arms.

Try to do it rhythmically and nice.

Elastic feet - elastic...

- I don't know.
- Look a pizza-racer!

We use to call them that at work.

- Are you alright?
- No scratch.

Not on your car either.

Take care now. Take it easy, mind your
heart. You did bring your medicine, right?

Here's a small package.
It is some Christmas food and a present.

I'll be at my mothers,
so send the cards there.

I have to check in now.
Take care and a Merry Christmas to you.

Cherie has to say goodbye.


The master is leaving us.
Merry Christmas, Master!

- Good morning and welcome. Name?
- Bramserud, Ole.

- Smoker or Non-smoker?
- Non-smoker.

- Hand luggage? It is a little big...
- Yes, but expensive!

- Gösta! Hi!

- This is Maj-Britt, my sister.
- Hi!

- Haven't we met somewhere before?
- Yes we have.

- Where?
- Did it turn out ok redeeming the car?

- How was your name?
- Mrs Storch.

- Hunny.
- Just a moment.

- Hi there Robban!
- Hi Berra! How is it?

Sober this morning, but now it is
straightening out. Christmas party yesterday.

Oh, damn!

- Don't you have any luggage?
- I have this. I travel light.

- Good morning! How is your name?
- Stig Helmer Olsson.

Thank you. Hand luggage?

- Hi! Can you point out your luggage?
- It is that one.

- What are they doing?
- Routine check. Drugs, weapons, bombs...


- What's in the package?
- A present.

It isn't for me.

- We have to open this package.
- Sure, sure...

Nice dog.

Passport, bathing salt, toothbrush,
toothpaste, book. Is that all?

- What do you have in your bag?
- Some film.

Please take off your shoe.

Check out the terrorist!

Mr Stork please contact
the information desk.

- He has to be a brother to Lennart Swahn.
And Karin Falk!

And Magnus Uggla!
(Uggla=Owl, all bird names)

- Hi there, Sulan!
Hi, Berra!

- How's it hanging?
Alright and you?

- Have you bought whine?
- It is (0% proof rum.

Did you know that you have a chance
of 50% to survive a flight accident?

It is more dangerous to
drive a car than to fly.

It takes in between two and five million
flight hours per crash.

- Crash?
- Crash.

Here is Pepes Bodega.
It has a sign.

- They bottle up and everything?
- Sealed and ready.

- A million thanks for the tip! See you.
- Good luck. Bye!


Sulan has been at Pepes Bodega. They
pour up (0% proof rum on whine bottles.

- Pepes Bodega.
- Never forget that!

Did you read about the jumbo jet-pilot
that performed a looping?

- Looping, with a jumbo?
- Twice.

Is that possible? Could you
watch my luggage for a while, I have to...

I can fly, I'm not afraid...
I can fly, I'm not afraid...

Are you alright?

- How do you feel?
- Good.

I'm practicing some yoga, relaxation
exercises. Isometric training...

Right... Well, I myself take a shot.
Do you want some?

- No thank you, I can't stand strong alcohol.
- No, who the hell does?

- Oh.. Hi!
- Hi!

- So we got on the same trip.
- Yes, it seems so.

- Hi!
- How nice...

You kill me!

Did you see how he was coming on to you?
He looked like a giraffe.

- Is there something going on?
- Quit it!


Did you bring the four P:s?
Pass, pesetas, pills, and pickets?

- I use a coil.
- Pass, pesetas, poil and pickets!

And palcohol!


- What was that sound?
- The landing gear was put back up.

They are put back and the hatch closed.

It is so that the plane won't loose speed,

Look, the sun!

- How about the pizza-racer then? He gets five points.
- I give him six.

- And the giraffe? Four.
- Less than the pizza-racer?

He is so lost.
That gives a reduction.

Did you see the guy with
the tape recorder?!

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

- It is good for the stomach!
- Sure...

- What a group of people!
- Surely they are nice.

Hopefully not engineers.

- What is that badge you have there?
- Hammarby. Have you heard of them?

No, the only Swedish villages (by=village)
I know of is Stockholm, Gothenburg...

This is a football team.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- How nice to get away!
- I'm not going away, I'm going home.

- So you live at the Canary Islands?

- Home celebrating Christmas then.
- Yes, visiting my family.

- Where are you staying?
- At Nueva Estocolmo.

Then you won't see much
of the Canary Islands!

- Won't I?
- No...

I could invite you to a place
where no tourists come to.

We could go out and
eat some real Spanish food.

That sounds nice.

Mr Storch
please contact the cabin crew.

- Was the pizza-racer nice?
- His name is José.

And he doesn't work in a pizzeria.

- Computer technician.
- Well, well... so when are you meeting him?

Do you think I set a date
with the first guy I meet?

OK... the bar at the hotel,
Wednesday at seven.

- Real Spanish restaurant.
- Gratulations!

My dream is to fly with a Concorde
from Paris to Rio.

2300km/h. That is what I call flying!

- Three times the speed of a bullet.
- Ugh...

And Rio...

The beaches, the girls, samba...
That is nice.

- The Canary Islands isn't so bad either.
- It will have to do.

- Hi! When are you to leave the rooms?
- At 12.

Place the bags outside of the reception.

Hi there!

- Affe, you'll take the transfer.
- But I had the night tour this night!

Gabbe could get them.
- Gabbe!

- You'll have to take the transfer on the A3.
- I've had two pig parties this week.

Yesterday you were supposed to help us with
the pool games and the table tennis.

- I have to be allowed to sleep.
- Don't make a fuss. I'll take it myself.

- May I ask when we are to leave the rooms?
- at 12. And leave your bags in the reception.

Thank you.

Don't yawn in the presence of guests.
Get some sleep sometimes.

And don't smoke in here!
And try to keep the schedule.

- Yes, daddy.
- And when are we to leave the rooms?

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain.
We are now flying over the Atlantic.

Estimated arrival is within one hour and 35 minutes.

The weather in Las Palmas is good.
Sun haze and 22 degrees.

I can also inform you that Stenmark (downhill skier)
is at a third place after the first race.

Is this what you call a "warm dinner"?
This is not what I'm used to.

I didn't get this trip for free you know.
I paid 3000kr for it.

- I only paid 995. Last minute.
- The last I needed...!

- If you want some more juice...
- Yes, you only press here.


- There?
- Yes.


Like this... to call the stewardess.
Juice, whiskey.

Excuse me...

Thank you. It isn't allowed to
drink your own alcohol.

If you don't take it easy on the drinks,
there might be a problem getting into Spain.

Take it easy,
we've been traveling before.

- Is it any good that one?
- Yes, one of those quartz, digital...

Input, output...
FM... Tape... Tape run...

A lot of stuff.

- Can you hear anything? Samba.
- Yes.

- Nice music!
- Sch...

If they crash, they throw tomatoes at the pilots.

Shape up, Berra!
Otherwise we'll have serious problems.



- I wonder how long you have to wait here.
- Take it easy, Gösta.

- I'll rent a car. Are you coming with me?
- No, we have too much luggage.

You have your golf bag and so.
No, we'll take the bus.

Well, well...

- see you at the hotel, as we said.
- Josito! Josito!

- It is my mum and dad. See you.
- See you. Give my regards to your family.

And the hens!

- Who is she?
- She sat next to me at the plane.

- No Swedish girls!
- I do as I like, mum.

- But I've sent you money for a car.
- We are saving the for your sisters wedding.

She'll never get married,
besides you scare everyone away.

Hi there! Are you a SunTrip-guest?

- Any problems?
- My bag hasn't arrived.

- Are you sure?
- Yes...

Then we'd better report it missing.

- Good day! His bag is missing.
- Just a moment.

Could you wait here. I have to
look after the other guests. See you!

SunTrips bus number 17 is over there!

- Las Palmas... good football team...

Highest division!

Hammarby is also a good team.

- Bajen...
- Hammarby... Bajen...

What bag?

Majsan, a nine pointer!

- Hello? One, two... can you hear me at the back?
- Yes!

- Was the trip alright?
- Yes!

Welcome to Nueva Estocolmo and SunTrip.

The time is three o'clock, Spanish time,
that is an hour behind Swedish time.

We will be serving a
welcoming drink at the hotel SunTrip.

The people living at Flamenco, will be
fetched with a coach at six, Spanish time.

You shouldn't drink the water.

The pig party is on Thursday
and costs (00 pesetas. Any questions?

- Is there Swedish coffee at the hotel?
- Yes.

- And Norwegian?
- Yes.

- Are you feeling alright?
- I have a tendency of motion sickness.

- I have some pills against that.
- Do you?!


Thank you.
Maybe you'd like an Argotal?

- Against allergies, but perhaps you're not...
- No.


Problems. There is one room missing.

There is a small complication
because of an overbooking.

I wonder if Olsson, Stig Helmer...

... and Bramserud, Ole...

- Would it be possible for you to share a room?
- Yes.

Do you call this a view of the sea?
- Momento.

Sea view, look!

A little closer to the wall. Good!

Turn it a little to the left, towards me!
Like that!

Stop! There!


- Listen!
- Yes, it is nice! Samba!

- What kind of watch is that?
- Digital and analog.

Spanish, Norwegian, Swedish time...
chronometer and watch.

And then there's a calculator
and an alarm clock.

Samba, as well.


Pen, that can be used under water.
"Pool Pen".

- Under water?
- Swiss Army Knife. Can opener.

Magnifying glass with a screw driver...

- Scissors, without screw driver.
- Practical!

Camera... Focus...


Camera two: Japanese, small, motor...

Flash... Tele lens... Normal...

- Do you have a camera?
- Yes.


But it has a flash.

- What do you want?
- Some sherry?

Are we on a bloody vernissage?
No, a big whiskey is what I need.

- To gather courage to hit on the giraffe?
- Quit it!

Gösta wanted to have a drink in his room,
but I said that I have to unpack.

How wonderful to get away from Sweden.

- The really park anyway they like here.
- Relax, Majsan, you're on vacation.

I can't understand it.

Now the rush hour begins at home.

Welcome to our Island
Forget rain and snow.

Sun, bathe and have fun
with SunTrip this Christmas.

A hearty welcome to Gran Canaria!

We are at the level of Egypt
and 500 miles from home... and that's good.

- Has everyone gotten some sangria?
- Yes!

My name is Lasse and
I take care of the SunTrip "Healthoteque".

The "Healthoteque" starts at ten every morning,
some gymnastics and fun in the pool.

Raise your right hand, lay the
left on your hart and say after me:

I promise to become a
healthier person during my vacation.

I promise to become a
healthier person during my vacation.

- Good! Let's promise us that.
- How cute he is!

Lasse takes care of your body,
gets your body into shape.

Jog, swim and feel good
with SunTrip everyday.

I'll present my colleagues:
Affe, on accordion.

And Gabbe on congas!

Gabbe is the one when it
comes to the night tours.

If you'd like a nightclub tour,
then stick to Gabbe.

Visit discos,
with SunTrip every night

I would like to remind you of the Christmas party,
which is on Christmas eve.

With Swedish food and games.

Unbelievable to sit like this in December.
It is like in Rio.

- Have you been in Rio?
- No, but I intend to go there.

Is there a family called Stork here?

- Our name is Storch, not Stork.
- I'm sorry.

"To the bridal couple from Rutan and Nisse:"

"Go, Go, Go and don't stop trying, because in nine months
comes the Stork."

- The Storch....?
- A round of applause!

I would like to bring out a toast for the couple.
Maybe the Groom would like to open the cork.

- Corch!
- Where from do you get everything, Olsson?

Four cheers for the bridal couple!
Hurray!, Hurray!, Hurray!, Hurray!

You can't walk around like that,
with those pants and the tie.

Take these shorts.

Nice of you.

You can borrow them.

I'll try them on.

It contained Christmas food, the present.

Don't worry about that.

We'll make a new one.

I wonder what "Dalahäst" (painted wooden horse)
is called in Spanish.

Caballo folcloristico nativo.

- Aren't they a bit too big?
- Let me see.

Great! And take this shirt as well.

- Isn't it a little too much?
No, you need strong colors.

Levander. Hallo?

Angerud, here.

- Did the present reach you?
- He hasn't left it yet.

- And the customs?
- No problem.

And how's the weather back in Sweden?

The weather? Typical December weather,
22 degrees warm and sunshine of course.

Same as here then. I'll keep in touch.
Hasta la vista!

- Amazing that it can be so warm.
- We have to buy some flowers.

So that it looks like we're being called upon.

We have to use some
brown-without-sun before the exercise.

Did you see what big pants the Giraffe had?

- What's his name?
- You won't believe me!

- Say it!
- Stig Helmer.

You kill me! Stig Helmer...?

Apparently he lives with the Norwegian.
What they can offer, they have in Las Palmas.

Gösta invited us to dinner,
but I said I've got a headache.

- If you drink more, you'll get it.
- I never drink whiskey back home.

- Swedish drinking song -

- Do you really think we'll find a "Dalahäst"?
- Don't worry, we'll think of something.

- Swimming pants.
- Thank you.

- What's that?
- To keep your money in when swimming.

- Are you coming to the pool with me?
- No, not the pool.

My eyes can't stand chlorine,
they get all read.

Can't we go to the beach?

It is dangerous. Between two
and three people die everyday...

... because of currents, sunstroke and sharks.


- What's this?
- Against chlorine.

And pick up balls with the left,
and the right... pick up balls.

Like that, nice! Good! Pick up balls.

Pick with the right, pick with
the left. Like that! Nice!

Check out the Stork!

How do they have the energy?

Damn... Herr Ober? They haven't opened yet.
But it is almost ten.

- Shouldn't we eat some breakfast first?
- We'll do that here. Bacon and Egg liqueur.

Reach out and back again.

That was it for today.
I hope I didn't push you too hard.

See you all tomorrow.
Thank you all.

Check it out...
Apparently it is supposed to be lamb meat.

Hi there.


Gösta! Hi.

- Aren't you going to sunbathe?
- I have some business to attend to.

- Dinner tomorrow night?
- I already have plans.

- With who?
- The nice Spaniard on the plane.

- We are going to a real Spanish restaurant.
- Real Spanish restaurant?

- You are working for SunTrip, right?
- Yes.

Could you run upstairs to my room
and fetch my smokes.

- It isn't included in my obligations.
- Is that so? Do you call this service?

- I'll talk to the local manager.
- That's me.

- Do you realize that I know the owner?
- Then give him my regards. Bye.

That's the last time
I travel with SunTrip!

- Shall we try to find Pepes Bodega today?
- Can't we take it easy?

Then I use to say that I'm on the street.

- So, what do you do?
- I'm working in an electrical warehouse.

If you buy a toaster, and it says:
"Controlled by G17", then it is by me.

It is only temporarily.
I'm studying engineering at half speed.

- Do you like football too?
- How did you know?

Just guessing.

- Could you smear my back?
- Sure.

Don't use too much,
it can begin to boil.

What are you doing?!

And there you're running after Swedish girls,
when there are some many nice Spanish ones.

The neighboring girl, Juanita, for example.

I'm not marrying any Swedish girl,
I'm just taking her out for dinner.

Your sister is working
and caring for her parents.

You should take after her. Not
fooling around with Swedish girls.

- Do you think that Gösta got sour?
- He didn't look happy.

He shouldn't think he owns me
just because he bought the trip.

- What did the Giraffe say?
- Nothing special. He seems shy.

- He is studying engineering.
- No...!

Not again, Majsan!

- He likes football as well.
- And baked beans?

I didn't ask.

Here it is. Please enter.
Welcome into the green.

Bungalow, four rooms and kitchen.

Luxurious kitchen with fridge and freezer.

And a dishwasher, if you'd like.

Small garden. Here in front of the house.

Swimming pool.

Three meters deep in one end,
one meter in the other. Suitable for kids.

Wall-to-wall carpets in all rooms...
for a mere extra cost.

- Do you play golf? A wonderful game.
- 50000 is the deposit.

- I counted on that, what is your handicap?
- 22.

These bungalows are very sought-after.

Shall we go a round tomorrow,
before we seal the deal?

My client will be satisfied with this.
What a marvelous view!

- Living room in jacaranda...
- Shall I come and pick you up at four?

... or some other type of wood.

And you're talking about how expensive time is...

Here it says...

"Balcony with a view of the sea and evening sun."

SunTrip. Hi there.

From the fourth floor? Down into the pool?
Call the clinic.

It is a custom to have
a bottle of champagne in the room.


Shark in the pool?
Delirium, call the clinic.

As I was saying, it is the last time
I'll travel with SunTrip.

- Has my bag arrived?
- I'm sorry, no.

Then we'll make a new package.

It was so cold in the room tonight,
even though we've paid for a fuel addition.

Fuel addition?

This bag is for Las Palmas.

The sun is really hot down here, Robban.


If you'll stand there I'll take a picture.

- Like this?
- Yes.

Say cheese.

- It is about this size.
- Wait I'll take a look.

- No, there's none.
- Are you sure?

This one is nice.

Hi there!

- How much?
- 500 pesetas.

- 500? Too expensive. 200?
- No...

I bid 200 for it.
That's... 1( Norwegian crowns.

- No, 500.
- Two...

400 pesetas.
Look, it is very funny.

- Not so funny. 200.
- No, 500 pesetas.

- First, second, third... 200 pesetas!
- Ok.

Poor favor.

(in Swedish). Stingy bastards.

Nice donkey. What will they think of next?

- There's supposed to be some flowers here.
- Ok, no problem.

We can do anything!

Left, right... you're doing fine.

Left again, one more with your right
and now both.

...with rye in your back!

That one was good!

- The criminality has risen since Franco died.
- People don't have any respect for the Police.

They got their democratical rights
a little too fast.

It was better during Francos regime.

It is the same in Sweden.
Frightening development, no morale.

I pay a penalty of one stroke.
I strike my fourth.

Adjust the thumb a little to the left...

I'll take an used ball.

I hit my seventh stroke.

Now the damn thing is growing down the hole!

Look, very funny!

- And we'll paint it red.
- And some flowers there.

Those redheaded girls are really nice.

- What's their names? Maj-Britt and Siv?
- Yes.

- We should make a move.
- How?

My apologies. I don't know what came over me.

Must've been the heat.
Never happened before.

It is easy to flare up.

About the deposit...

We could ask the reception to
put some flowers in their rooms.


Do you have any other suggestions?
Melons, cucumbers, bananas?

- But flowers... do you do that in Norway?
- The flower language is international.

- Have you never given a girl flowers?
- No.

Then I suggest that you and I
pick some flowers for Siv and Maj-Britt.

Pick flowers...

Buenas Dias, my little Viking.
Has the package arrived yet?

Here you are.

"Merry Christmas, aunty."

- How did the person look like that left this package?
- He was tall, dark hair...

... glasses and a moustache.

Then we're clear.

We are on the south of Gran Canaria
and the sea is there, right.

Then the bodega must be that way.

- I'm thirsty, Berra.
- You have no character at all, Robban.

- Shall we go inside here or over there?
- Doesn't matter.

Do you think he's the lick-in-the ear type?
I mean when he dances.

- We're only going out to eat!
- Bring pepper.

If he gets too close,
you can throw it in his face.

Spaniards can get very frustrated
with Swedish girls. Take this.

Such prejudice you have! Have you ever
been out with a Spaniard?

- You seem so experienced.
- Maybe I have.

- I only want what's best for you.
- I can take care of myself.

You'd better take care of the Giraffe.

Cabin two.

This is Dr Levanders
automatic answering machine.

The solarium, the fear-of-flight clinic,
the diet and the herb store are closed for Christmas.

important messages can be left
at the hotel Ambassador in Åre.

This is Dr Levanders automatic...

Señor, pay!

Did you know it was
1( degrees cold in Sweden today?

Thank you.

Canarian Specialty!

Ropa vieja - old clothes.

- What did you say?
- Old clothes.

It is like fried diced meat
with onions and potatoes.

- But it could use some more spices.
- Wait.

Could I have...?

Sorry, nothing.

Are you sure it doesn't
matter that my mom came along?

- Doesn't she want to have a seat by our table?
- No, she doesn't want to be in the way.

A painted donkey...?! The idea with the
package was idiotical from the beginning.

You'll have to get the money back.

You can't contact the police! What will you say?
That 50 000 smuggled crowns are missing?

Talk to him. He might want a finders reward.
Do something!

Hi! Are you already back?
How did it go?

- I got a use for the pepper.
- What did I tell you?

You won't believe it.
Have you ever eaten old clothes?

He came and picked me up.
Guess who he brought with him.

- Guess!
- Who?

His mom!

And now relax and lumber
like a troll. Like that, good!

Just lumber on.

Do you want some B-vitamins?
They are good for the liver.

- There's an upcoming pig fest you know. Take two.
- Oh, ok.

And I have C-vitamins...
Iron pills, ginseng, toothpaste...?

I'm fine, thank you.

If you don't find a lady at the pig party,
then it is over.

- Do you think they have received our flowers?
- Sure. Tonight we make our move.

Do you remember Benidorm?
Talk about pig party.

Was I there? Did I have fun?

How wonderful to be in the heat all the year!
What do you do for a living then?

- A couple more.
- No, damn it. I have my car at Arlanda.

Fataga is one of the few original villages
left here on Gran Canaria.


If you want to buy their embroideries, don't haggle.

Haggeling and such is for the market.

Poor people living like this.

Poor people. Dragged around at
day like a flock of sheep.

There's Josés mother!

There's her, the one that
wants to take my Josito away.

- Don't you want to by something from your mother in law?
- Stop it! I'll go for Ole from now on.

- I have nu prejudice against Norwegians.
- Only if they go hiking...

Do you think that the Norwegian and
the Giraffe bought the flowers?

- Or Gösta.
- No.

- Why is he so depressed?
- He has some problem with buying the house.

- Ouch!
- Hi. Can I have a seat?

- It has gotten really expensive here.
- Yes, almost like in Sweden soon.

You have to have a lot of Swedish
money with you... if you know what I mean.

Always good with some reserves.

So that you can buy your
daily bread... if you know what I mean.

As I said, you've got to have
money for your daily bread.

- Because people are stealing allot here.
- Yeah, so I've heard as well.

But it's not the same to
find something as to steal.

No, that's true.

Because if you find something,
there might be a reward. Keep that in mind.

Ouch! I'll do that.

- He was really strange!
- It is the combination of sun and...

- Yepp.
- Dangerous stuff.

This is really the countryside.
We must've gone too far.

- Damn I'm thirsty.
- Yepp, it can't be out here.

Well, well, Berra.
Let's head back.

I won't take another footstep.
Let's hitchhike.

- Go Eslöv!
- God damn it.

There was one that didn't stop.
Thank you very much, bastard.

- That one!
He stops. Come on!

- The smell!
- Doesn't matter, we don't have to walk!

- Hi there!
- Talk about pig party.

- The Sangria, boys.
- We're coming.

Such skill they have!

- It is hot in here. Aren't you going to dance?
- No, it feels awkward to ask the girls to dance.

You just say:
"Shall we dance? Hi there."

Or you can use something more fancy.
Like this.

Voulez-vous danser avec moi?
It is French.

I'm afraid they'll turn me down.
If she doesn't want to dance, you look stupid.

With you...?! No, give it a try.
Just lean back.

- Would you like to dance with me?
- May I...

Now she was asked.

Damn it...!

Buenas noches, señor.

Un moment.

Thank you, my friends.

I bid six men, maybe you
and the others, to come up here.


Go Norway!

- I've been robbed
- Poor thing.

And the woman I love doesn't want me.

- Everything will be fine.
- You women don't understand your own best.

But you seem like a
nice person, Carmencita.

One more Viking special.

Get up.

- Did you buy the flowers?
- Yes, but it was the idea of Ole.

- I found it sweet of you.
- Do you?

But you have to swap water and
give them a pill against headache every fourth hour.

- The flowers...?
- Yes.

- Shall we go for some fresh air?
- Yes, that would be nice.

Look, no hands.

- Now, I have to close.
- Carmencita, don't disappoint me.

- Where are you staying?
- Hotel Flamenco.

- Come on.
- 50 000...!

I love these warm nights.

Soon one's about to go home to the slush again.
I don't want to go home.

- I'm a bit afraid of the flight.
- I can fly, I'm not afraid.

Levander should see us now!

Majsan, bring the Giraffe
and let's go to the Tonga Tonga.

This is your captain speaking.

- Samba is nice!
- What did you say?!


Do...do you like baked beans?

I hate them!

- Merry Christmas.
- Thank you.

Berra.... Berra!

- Can you help me to carry (carry = almost "Berra") Berra?
- What language! "bärra hem Berra"!

- I'll help you.
Carmencita, don't you disappoint me. (Swedish song)

I'm going to get a job here in the store.

It isn't allowed to bring
ladies in to the rooms.

But for 500 pesetas, maybe
we can come to an agreement.

I'm helping him into his room.

500 pesetas...?
It is my wife.

- I don't believe you.
- Cigarette, darling?

- No thank you, I don't smoke.
- Right, your wife...?

May the devil take all women!

Carmencita? What is this supposed to mean?

- Where have you been all night?
- I followed a customer to his hotel.

Oh My God!
You'll be my death.

- How can you do this to your mother?!
- I'm 2( years old, mom.

- You have to make a confession today.
- You are insane.

Your brother is a nice boy. He comes
al the way from Sweden to visit me.

But you on the other hand....
Now you'll have to marry him.

Marry? You are insane.

The shame! Wait until your
father gets to hear this.

I'll wake him up.
He'll have to go and talk to this man.

- I think it is at the door.
- Maybe the cleaning lady.

- Hammarby...?
- Yes!

How nice! Thank you.




- Reward.
- Thank you.

- Morning, my boy.
- Morning.

- Feliz navidad.
- What did you say?

- It means Merry Christmas in Spanish.
- Right, it is Christmas today.

- And the weather is nice.
- Are you going out to sunbathe?

- Or shall we make a small excursion?
- I would like to go to the party.

It is so bright!

- Can I come?
- Of course.

But you have to bring food
and a present worth 100 pesetas.

- Then I'll bring some herring and Stig Helmer.
- Norwegian humor.

Come here my little darling.

We bought paint and painted the donkey
like a "Dalahäst" and put it into the package.

After that we left it at the Viking Bar.

What a tale!

If the lady already got her food,
you could bring this to the party.

- SunTrip has a Christmas party today.
- Do we have to go?

Don't be so Swedish.

Isn't it typically Swedish to have
a Christmas party among the palms.

You could come just for me?
I've bought you a present.

Did you?

- Let's sing "Tomtegubbarna".
- Yes!

- Cheers and merry Christmas!
- Cheers.

You have to remove the cover.
You know you have to remove it, don't you?

- It is this lens capturing.
- No, this one. I have the same one at home.

- Have you filmed like this for a long time?
- The whole week.

That's a pity.
Then there won't be any film.

- No film...?!
- No.

Out! Get out!

Now there's time to hand out the presents.

- This one is for you. Merry Christmas.
- And this one is for you.


I found Peppes Bodega!

- I'll be damned! Where was it?
- Here!

It is on the other side of the hotel.

And we've searched through
the whole of Nueva Estocolmo!

I've always wanted one of these.

Thank you.

I wonder where Gösta is.

Hi there. How are you doing?

Well... I had to sell the land
this morning. They signed.

- You've brought shame over our family!
- It is not him. The other one!

- So old! You're sending me to the grave!
- He isn't that old.

Merry Christmas!
Woops, am I in the middle of something?

- Gösta, are you coming to the Christmas party?
- Out! Get out!

Out, out, out!

Those Swedes are crazy!

And what are you looking at?!

Hi there!

Nice dog.
We can send you home on Saturday.

Could you do the doctor a flavor?
He has a nephew in Stockholm...

- I can fly, I'm not afraid.
- The mail.

- I can fly, I'm not afraid.
- I can fly, I'm not afraid.