Singleton's Pluck (1984) - full transcript
A farmer becomes an unintentional celebrity when, because of a strike, he has to walk his five thousand geese, one hundred miles to market.
Amos!
Hubert!
Dammit!
Bloody useless.
Amos!
Amos!
Hubert!
Bloody Hubert! Where are you?
Amos!
Blast it. Get away,
you stupid goose. Go on!
Amos.
Ben. Hm? Oh, my God.
Couldn't you be more careful?
What the bloody hell's happened?
There's no need to swear.
I told them at the bank.
I suppose you didn't manage to get
the overdraft extended?
And I don't suppose you remembered
the Christmas decorations?
Alice, what's happened?
Your plucking team's on strike.
God.
Amos!
Amos.
Tell him it's official. Guvnor's back.
Well, what'd he say?
Didn't wait to find out, did I.
Oh. It is union business.
It's us, sir. It was on earlier on.
Murphy! Yes, I'm hanging on.
Murphy! Come, boy.
Union business, Derek. Who is it?
No idea. Where are you off to then?
The lav.
Hello. Brenda!
One at a time. You know the rules!
I'm burstin', Derek. Brenda!
Hands can cool if you're a woman, Derek.
Look, I've informed area office.
No, I can't.
It's Christmas up here. I can't come over.
We'll be looking out for him then.
We're getting one of the Transport
and General Workers officials
from Norwich. Sent over special.
Name's Armitage.
United we stand, that's what you say.
You two were down here.
What's wrong with our old bloody official?
We're all one now, Amos.
Hearse and transport workers, amalgamated.
Perhaps now we'll get some action.
Who fed them?
I didn't know they'd been fed.
They're out there eating their heads off.
They should be plucked
and ready for off now.
They're due for
blow freezing tomorrow, Alice.
A man has lost two knuckles off the
index finger of his right hand.
What?!
Who?
I don't know their names.
I had to go and tell his wife.
Mrs... Dibney.
Oh, my... And I had to drive him
to the Norfolk and Norwich.
There's blood all over the transit.
I hope you're insured.
Don't you think you ought to ring
Archers Transport?
They'll be here first thing in the morning.
What are we going to do?
I didn't agree with involving
the bloody union in the first place.
You don't keep no dog and bark yourself.
It's the rights of man
what's at stake here.
Every bugger what hails from
Thetford is the bloody same.
The rights of bloody man.
You hail from Thetford?
I never knew that.
Went to the same school as Tom Paine, me.
Reg Dibney's lost his trigger finger.
That costs money.
A wife and six kids has Reg.
Another on the way.
Pity it wasn't something else
he stuck in the plucking machine.
I've nothing for you, Oscar.
But I... I just wanted to find out
if I was insured.
Now you tell me I'm not.
Oh, I am? So sorry. I misheard you.
Right, well,
I'll get it in the post tomorrow.
Thank you. Where have you been? Bye-bye.
Choir.
You don't have choir practice
on the last day of term.
I've been to a choir party.
You don't have choir parties either.
How did Dad get on at the bank?
Did he get enough for me to go to Zermatt?
If I hear you mention Zermat
one more time...
Dad. Hm?
You've got no trousers on.
You smell.
My sister won't have a dog
in her new motor.
What the hell do you think
you're playing at?
Won't have you in neither.
Good evening, Mr Singleton.
Peter Armitage - T&G.
What?
Could I just see where the
accident happened, please?
What the hell's going on?!
There's been an industrial accident here.
Follow me.
Excuse me, Mr Singleton.
Excuse me, Mr Singleton.
Would you just come back here!
There's the machine
where the accident took place.
Oh, I see.
And what does it do exactly, this machine?
It plucks. That there is a
plucking machine.
I was demonstrating to
Brother Dibney how it worked.
Is this new technology?
A plucking machine? New technology?
Please, Mr Singleton, I was out at a
biscuit factory in Norwich...
Geese are not bloody biscuits!
They're alive!
It matter not to me whether they're
geese or biscuits, Mr Singleton.
Those geese are out of here
by tomorrow night...
We'll have it all sorted out...
..if I have to do the job myself.
...before the geese are moved. If you're not in that
yard tomorrow morning, you know where you can go.
And that goes for you too.
..living in the past, Mr Singleton.
Well, from an official of the T&G,
that takes the bloody biscuit.
One of my members has had a serious
industrial accident...
Just clear off my land! All of you!
Excuse me.
And where did you
get your land from, Mr Singleton?
Has he got a phone in there, lads?
We've been using the one down at the lane.
Always take the fight to the enemy, lads.
He should call us brothers not lads.
Murphy makes more sense when she
farts than yon fella.
Hello, love. Could I just
use your phone for a minute?
A couple of quick calls. Sod off! Ben!
I told him it were going round
when he stuck his finger in.
Ha! He was squealing like a stuck pig.
Workers are not expected to accept
new technology without a memo.
I'm in that yard in the morning. Scab!
Bloody cottage scab.
Not losing one of our soldiers, are we?
Man who don't allow a dog in his motor car
ain't getting me on his bandwagon.
Goodnight to you.
Murphy!
I reckon you'll be needing this
as evidence, brother.
What is it? That there is the end
of Reg's finger.
Emma.
Emma, would you like to help me
with the decorations?
Emma, I want you down
these stairs at once! Do you...?
That's all, Dad.
Hm.
She's only upset
because I was late home, you know?
Yes. Yes.
I've met his heating engineer.
We're having central heating installed
in the old gym over Christmas.
Heating engineer?
He sounds like an old man.
He is! He's 19. Sh!
Basil.
Ben!
It's Archers.
Will you come and speak to them?
That union man's been on to them.
You haven't any transport!
Ben! You do not have any transport!
You could walk them to London.
They used to from around here.
Hugh told me.
They gave them shoes from tar and sand.
Ben!
Ben, you can't walk your geese to London.
I can walk them wherever I want.
You can't take them on the road.
It's against the law.
Traffic has to give way to animals.
It's in the Highway Code.
It is not. Animals do not have
priority on the road.
You don't know what you're talking about!
Animals do not have priority on the road.
Ben, will you listen to me?!
Ben!
Ben.
Ben!
You're overreacting.
Who says? Your father?
I'm on the bloody Titanic
and some jumped up solicitor's clerk
tells me I'm overreacting.
Would you get in the house!
Do your job, Emma.
Ben, will you stop being
so damn pig-headed. It's illegal!
Mum, you broke into the vivisection
labs and that was illegal.
Will you get in the house!
Get on with your job, Emma.
Ben, please! Taking my goods to
market is not illegal.
Get transport. You know you can.
George Fletcher will have containers
going down every day this fortnight.
You're being your usual pig-headed
self, Ben, and I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of it! Sick of it!
Where are you going? Alice?
To the factory!
Alice! Where are you going?
I'm gonna get some transport
from the factory!
Alice!
Shoo! It's about bloody time.
Roads we've got nowadays,
no need to tar 'em.
Man who pays the piper calls the tune.
Finger out!
We should have stuck by Reg.
What the boy starts, he finishes.
Regimental motto.
I takes on a flat,
I takes it on from start to finish.
Well, I never have been to London.
Never will if you don't
stop from idling. Strike's over.
Do you know where I can find Mr Fletcher?
What are you looking at? Do you want a job?
Ben.
You don't have to
walk your geese to London.
I'll ask my father for the money.
I don't want any money
and I don't want any transport.
Night-night. Mind the fleas.
Love you.
If you love me...
you'd let me go.
You don't love anybody!
Emma, please.
You don't love my dad.
Take them to London, Hubert.
I've packed your suit.
I won't wear it, Gran.
You will. You'll need it
when you go to London.
Now, be a good boy.
Cheerio. There you go.
Hubert, be a good boy.
Mind the geese, you maniac!
Come on! Come on!
You better hold on.
Well done, you two.
Hubert, rustle up some food,
will you? I'm starving!
Amos, put the fence up.
Bloody talk, don't he?
Amos, get the fence up!
You've got enough money,
haven't you, Hubert?
Oi, Hubert! Rollo. Hubert, what's going on?
What does it look like?
Where you taking them?
London.
London?
Are you deaf as well as daft,
Rollo? London.
Excuse me. Can you turn
that thing down, please?
It's disturbing my birds.
All right?
The birds I know reckons my radio.
You aren't walking down to London
with this lot.
Oh, sorry, Rollo.
Oi, you'll pay for this, Hubert.
This cost a lot of money, this did.
Ugh!
My old grandad used to drive a flock
to Norwich twice a year.
Michaelmas and Christmas.
And what they didn't sell,
they used to walk back.
I were only a lad,
and that's nigh on 40 miles.
Have you seen that heater?
It's in the trailer.
Don't want young bugger snaffling it.
Mr Singleton.
Norwich and back,
nigh on 40-mile roundtrip.
Do that in two days.
100 miles to London. Ten miles a day.
Do that easy.
Didn't do no 10 miles today.
Well, I'm off for home.
I don't see no sense in sleeping in here
when I'm less than three miles
from my own flannelette sheets.
Night.
Hiya, boss.
Come on then.
Hello there. Hands on!
Come on.
I took the buggers on, didn't I?
Freezing it was.
I see you've got your Sunday best on, Amos.
Yeah.
Here, I brought you some sandwiches.
Are one of these for him?
Look at that.
He's supposed to provide for us.
Morning, Hubert.
Emma!
Dad.
Does your mother know you're here?
I'm not going back.
"Striving shall suffice.
"The aim of reached or not
makes good the life.
"It's a quote and I do love you.
"Emma."
Emma, ring your mother.
What the bloody hell's going on?
Amos! The transit. Dad, I'm not going back.
Just do as you're told! Me?
Not you. Emma. Now...
First-class walking is better than
second-class driving any day.
Amos! Knock her out of gear
going downhill, will you?
It won't help. The thermostat's knackered.
It'll be all right, Amos.
Not only thermostat's knackered.
That's it. Sit down there.
Train station, is that right? That's right.
She might have set off after us, Dad.
Hope so.
I might be a little bit late
on this next job.
There's one or two smokeys...
It's like skateboarding
instead of Concorde.
We're all set for the afternoon, are we?
Excuse me. I've changed my mind.
Amos!
Something's coming.
Slow down. Slow down.
You bloody maniac!
Stupid idiot!
It's too dark. We should be off the road.
Well...
We'd better get the geese off the road.
Leave the bloody headlights on, Amos!
I ain't finished yet.
Past my bedtime, boy!
That ain't all that you're bloody past.
No, don't fight me. Come in here.
That's it.
Move over. Come on.
That's it. Move over.
Dad, don't forget.
You said there was no going back.
Thank you, Alice.
You've brought enough.
I was leaving you.
Geese, when they mate, it's forever.
Emma, please.
Night-night.
Mind the fleas don't bite.
I love you. I won't tell you again, Emma!
Move about. Come on.
Woohoo!
Thank you, Officer.
The law gives the permission,
not the police. What did he say?
"Keep moving."
Come on, girls.
This way.
If you get these geese to Smithfield,
it won't pay off the overdraught.
What do you want me to do?
Go skulking back to the college?
Lecturing others on humane animal husbandry
when I know that I can't do it myself?
If what I'm doing isn't
important to you any more,
what the hell are you doing here?
I think we're more important.
You and me.
Hm.
Just keep moving. Please!
Hello! Hello.
Anyone in? Knock again.
I have done. Well, try again.
There is someone in, you know.
Oh, they're funny buggers
round here, Mrs Singleton.
Pardon your French.
You tried round the back?
You won't get them out of that one.
Mind your potty, Mrs Singleton.
Thermostat's knackered.
Got to go and get a new one.
Make sure he gives you the money for it.
He tried palming me off with a fiver.
You wait till tomorrow, Mrs Singleton,
when we gets to Suffolk.
Oh, they're nosy buggers in Suffolk.
The unspeakable in pursuit
of the uneatable.
It's a quote.
Oscar Wilde said it.
Didn't you, Oscar?
...just don't go experimenting on animals
for the sake of it, you know?
I know. It's the cosmetics
industry which is wrong.
The majority of animal...
These bloody things belong to you?
Get them out of here
and be damn quick about it.
Everything all right? No damage done?
No damage? No damage done?!
Look, I want them out of here.
I want them off my land.
Off my bloody land!
Where did your land come from?!
What?
Dennis, hold the horse
while I ring the Sergeant.
That's a warning for you. I heard
about you on the radio this morning.
Driving a flock of geese to London,
aren't you?
What for?
Because I want to.
Have you got a closet
I can make a little use of.
Just go round the back of the building.
Hubert... Me first!
Hubert! I bloody asked!
Behave like a damn billy goat, he do.
He don't have to go
head-on against the gentry
like he did this morning.
You've got to show the gentry
a little respect.
What respect have you ever shown
bloody gentry?
I always show 'em respect.
I always tell them I vote Tory
whilst I votes Labour on the quiet.
Hold to your own, lad.
Get some transport, Ben.
Dry weather first thing.
Temperatures will remain low...
What happened to your reindeer?
Haven't you paid your licence fee?
You know what?
You ought to go to Weight Watchers.
These are the lame ones, see. Oh, yeah?
Nothing else wrong with them.
Fallen off the back of a lorry, have they?
It's perfectly possible.
Come on, bring them through!
Come on! Watch that left-hand side!
Emma, please concentrate! Come on!
If you just listen to me,
it'll be all right.
Emma, I said listen!
Gently! Gently!
Hubert, watch that bridge!
Emma, do it gently!
Emma!
It's not funny, Emma!
Try and keep them in one long,
straight line!
And if you see any lame ones, call me
and I will get them out
and put them in the trailer.
Ben, if you'd only stop roaring out orders
and come back here and talk to us
personally,
we could understand what you're doing!
And you've upset that child twice today!
And for goodness' sake,
stop being so bossy!
They must be freezing in here.
They've got the heater.
Look, you go on to the pub.
All right? I'll manage. Go on.
Er... could you leave me the torch?
Please?
Sorry. Thank you. Sorry!
Why didn't you book us in near here?
I didn't know we were going to be here.
Here comes that goose girl.
I wouldn't mind goosing that myself.
You can't cancel hotels rooms
at this time of night, David!
They shouldn't be in here.
Landlord, do you have a phone
I could use, please?
No, he doesn't. And a large Grouse.
The crew will be doing a flyer
and the rendezvous is The Crown...
Thank you very much. Thank you.
That man in the brown anorak,
I've seen him on the telly!
It's your knock, I think, David.
We did really well today.
Quiet country roads.
Wait till we get to main roads.
Wait till we get to London.
It's Sunday.
Even London's quiet on a Sunday.
A thousand quid for a trigger finger!
Ben?
Damn! I forgot to check the fence.
I never knew you could choose!
Did you, Amos?
# Bring me my chariot of... #
Oh!
Everything all right there, Mr Singleton?
Yes, indeed.
Well, night to you, then.
Hm.
I thought for one horrible bloody
moment he was going to give us
one of his lectures
on humane animal husbandry,
whatever that is!
I thought he'd come for his hay bale!
You can talk to me, Ben.
Down off the church, zoom out to David.
Turn over! Mark it!
Round-up goose story, take one.
And action, David!
Christmas is coming, the goose
is getting fat.
At least it should be.
Only this Christmas, your Christmas goose
could be a little thinner than usual.
It could also be much fresher.
Christmas is coming, the goose
is getting fat, or it should be.
My blummin' intro!
Come on, Howard, for God's sake!
Shush!
Mr Singleton, walking
500 geese from Norfolk to London...
No, thank you.
There's plenty. No, thank you, truly.
Just in case you change your mind.
Mr Singleton? Sh!
Sorry, Gwen. No, thank you.
Do you mind if I turn the sound up
a bit? Oh, no.
Ooh! Oh, thank you.
Don will be furious he missed you.
It's Young Farmers' club night.
Oh, yes?
We take it in turns.
Just be yourself, Singleton, please.
They began eight days ago
and over 50 miles back,
and still, on they plod.
But just why are they doing it?
The first person I asked was Mrs
Singleton herself, a former teacher.
Mrs Singleton, why are you doing it?
Because it's fair.
Oh, dear.
For Mr Singleton, it is a mountain
of a different kind he aims to conquer.
The mighty Transport
and General Workers' Union.
Mr Singleton, this is a protest march?
Yes, it is, in a way.
Against the Transport
and General Workers' Union?
Against what's happening
in livestock farming today.
It's not the first time Mr Ben Singleton
has been involved in protests
of one kind or another.
Bastards! The former...
Lad what thought you up
really knew what he were about.
'Ere! Did you know
we was on a protest march?
On a what? Protest march against the union!
Says so on the telly!
I reckon you should've told him!
Get on!
D'oh!
That's your hound, you take her.
Come on, lassie, come on.
I still reckon we should've told him.
I don't give a bugger what you reckon.
It ain't right!
Bloody stupid!
College boys is always writing on t'wall.
You want to be put out to grass, Amos!
What do you know? What do you bloody know?!
Well, go on! Go on!
Oh, Christ! Here!
Don't want your baggage neither!
We all right for a lift
far as the top road?
Where's the geese, then?
'Ere, I seen you on the telly.
Have you packed it in?
I said to my missus
you'd never do it, you'd pack it in.
You wait till I tell her!
Are we all right for a lift, then?
It's more than my job's worth, boy!
You ought to look after them geese!
Not much of a bloody job!
Better than the one we ain't bloody got!
"What the Holy Boys start, they finish."
That's all squit!
You never was
in the Royal Norfolk Regiment!
Cos my gran says you was never in the army!
Do you want a lift, then?
I'm going to have it out with him,
face-to-face, man-to-man.
You want a lift, then? You can
stick your lift right up your arse!
Murphy?
Stick your lift right up your arse!
And you can tell your gran
I wasn't in the Holy Boys
cos farming was a bloody
reserved occupation!
You owe me an explanation.
We don't owe you nothin'.
What about that?! Said it on the telly.
They said it, not me!
You don't have to talk to 'em.
That all your bloody husband does, is talk.
He never listens. What did I say, then, hm?
Go on, tell me, what did I say?!
It were reported to me,
and you don't have to talk to 'em.
You do, if you want to get anything done!
Bloody squit!
What is yous wanting to do?
Come on, tell us.
I want to walk my geese to market.
If you don't want to come with me,
you can bugger off.
But before you go...
I want that off my van, OK?
Come on, you two.
I'll do it.
No, you won't!
Come on!
Amos and Hubert, they're the salt
of the Earth, you know.
They weren't first thing this morning.
The students at the Royal had a raw deal.
At least, they did in my opinion.
Farming today is not about
running daddy's estate or farm.
The reality is factory farming,
and that doesn't just mean keeping
a few thousand hens in cages.
Barry should have got rid of all this.
Punters aren't
interested in factory farming.
The little man against the mighty
union, that's what they want.
Factory farming is about as
progressive as nuclear weapons.
Good! See these birds? These birds...
Whose side are you on? His!
Amos, you're on! Not interested.
No way to treat a young lady!
Merry Christmas, lads!
Certainly sorted that lot out, Amos.
You certainly did.
There's someone coming,
Mr Singleton! Get back!
What are you doing?! Idiots!
What are you doing?! Slow down!
Hey! Shoo! Shoo-shoo!
Idiots!
Go on, shoo! Amos!
They're getting back on the road!
They're coming back! Shoo!
If I get hold of one of you,
I'll put your whole face...!
My dad said we could do with
a lad on a motorbike.
But he doesn't like skinheads,
and neither do I.
I'm Emma.
Tristram.
Hm! Emma, will you please stop
fooling around
and pay attention to your job?!
Dad, this is Tristram!
I'll do a good job for you.
I've got my own tent.
Tired, but undaunted,
the intrepid travellers press on.
Secure in the knowledge the bulk of
their journey lies behind them.
There are still gigantic hurdles to leap,
but the finishing straight beckons
and the winning post must soon be in sight.
Smithfield Market, in the City of London.
The meat mecca of the nation
and the destination,
particularly at Christmas,
of man and beast down through the ages.
For these 20th-century drovers,
it will indeed be journey's end.
David Wolmer, North Essex, until tomorrow.
And cut! Thank you.
Check it. How was it for you?
The geese were a bit noisy on that one.
We can live with that. Gate's clear.
Is that a wrap, Howard? It's a wrap.
Howard?
Um... about tomorrow. Any ideas?
Seems to be going a bit flat.
Well, sometimes, David,
you have to make it happen.
Tristram?
Dad! Dad, they've gone!
Dad! Dad, quickly!
Dad, please!
Amos!
Over here!
Jesus!
Right! I want to know,
who put the fence up last night?!
I did.
Come on, you lot!
Well done, Emma.
And me, I helped.
Well plenty done, the pair of you!
Dad, I'm sorry!
It's no good being sorry!
This isn't a bloody joyride!
Mr Singleton? What?! I think
you're barking up the wrong tree.
Ben! What the hell are you doing?
Dad! Ben! Stop it!
Hey! Mind that goose!
Turn over! Don't come near us again,
all right?!
Mind your own damn business!
What the bloody hell was that about?!
Any of you! You understand?!
David, are you all right?
What was all that about?
You just stay away from us, all of you!
And you can tell your friend to
stop that filming! Go on, stop it!
Keep turning.
You lie, you cheat, you connive, you...!
That would be a very serious mistake.
You just go about your business!
We're going about ours.
We're not going away!
Come on. They're trying to manipulate me.
You just bugger off and leave us alone!
Get away! All of you! Go on!
What's all that about, for God's sake?
If you're putting up your face
to be kissed, David,
you must expect to get it
slapped occasionally.
Think they might've broken this fence.
Yeah.
Where's he going?! It's to the left!
To the left, Alice, left!
All right, it wasn't your fault.
It wasn't your fault.
It wasn't your fault, it wasn't your fault.
It wasn't your fault.
It's all right. It's all right,
don't worry about it.
Come on now, it wasn't your fault.
It really wasn't your fault.
She should never have
been in the van with him.
That girl's walked every step of
the way. She's the only one who has!
My indicator's broken.
What?! The off-side.
What about them, then?! What about them?!
Shouldn't be on the road.
Well, where should they be?! You
tell me that! Why should they be?!
I don't know. Er... fields!
Er...
My indicator's broken!
I'll break more than your bloody
indicator, I'll tell you.
You can have that for
your indicator. Oh, gosh!
Fair exchange. Alice!
Can't get them no fresher.
Alice!
I reckon if folk had to kill
their own, Hubert,
most people would be having
boiled cabbage for Christmas dinner.
My dad doesn't blame you, Tristram.
Honestly!
Oscar, go on, be a good boy.
My dad pair-bonded him with me.
That's why he follows me around.
I know what pair bonding is.
I'm not completely stupid, you know.
I did get my O-level biology.
You told my mum you didn't have
any O-levels.
This morning, when she was quizzing you.
Well, they cuss you even more
if they know you have
and you haven't you got a job.
So, how many O-levels have you got, then?
Nine, and two A-levels.
Still can't get a job.
They're not very good grades, though.
Oscar!
Emma? We're up early!
See you in the morning, then.
Night. Night-night. Mind the...
What? Nothing.
Sorry.
Night.
And for your information, Mum,
Tristram has nine O-levels
and two A-levels!
Emma!
London!
'Tato for you, Mrs Singleton?
Always tastes better
when it don't cost nothin'.
It is a celebration.
Can't celebrate without ale.
They'll be back soon.
Your old gander's got bot.
Others keep having a go at it.
Better get him pulled.
He'll last till market. Righto.
Not in front of the missus, Hubert!
Oh, don't bother about me, Amos.
Not any more.
When I were a lad, every
labouring family kept a pig.
Kept it like one of the family.
But when the time come, that had to go.
Not that my dad wanted to, mind.
We had to bow our head whenever
there were meat on the table,
and that weren't very often.
And that weren't because
he believed in any religion.
He said, "God died on the Somme".
No.
That were respect for the birds
and the animals.
Their lives sacrificed for ours.
I always did go along with him on that.
Not that I practised it, mind, but...
I've always had respect for livestock.
That's the one thing me and Mr
Singleton do see eye to eye on, eh?
Him with his new-fangled methods,
me... with my old-fashioned methods.
And he's the governor.
We could go to the Electric Ballroom.
It's open till 2:00am.
They'll not let you in with a helmet.
I'm not leaving my bike outside,
not in London.
That's him. I reckon we ain't going
to need them taters after all!
We could go on the underground.
The Tube? Here you are, Amos,
punch a hole in those!
What we got, Tristram? Bitter.
I got you some water.
Coca-Cola for you, is it?
Mum, you're crying!
No, I'm not!
You are! I'm not!
I'm happy. Good Lord knew what
he were doing when he invented ale.
Mum, you were crying.
It was the smoke from the fire.
Tattie for you, Mr Singleton.
'Ere you are, Emma, tattie for you.
Hey, Amos, me and you's got to share that.
What the Holy Boy starts, he finishes.
...But the end is in sight...
Roll.
Seven, six, five, four,
three, two, one.
And take it.
Great stuff, Howard. Love it upstairs.
Couldn't you get the pet goose
in the middle - Oscar?
Bit Wolmer's arse, he won't go near it.
And you didn't get it? Changing 'Max.
I've got to cut in the union
interview, Howard. A bit of balance.
Bugger balance!
Transport hasn't been officially
withheld, never has been.
You'll spoil a nice little Christmas story.
They're screaming media bias!
Union batting!
We'll take it at the end of this
as a single frame.
...The City of London.
We need more geese and less of the Wolmer.
Gary? Three, two, one...
Take air. Cue.
If you are dreaming of a white Christmas...
I envy you your job.
You've been everywhere.
I've never broken my little finger
falling off a mountain in the Himalayas.
My A is still weak when I type.
Is Howard always so unscrupulous?
He's good at his job. So are you.
All that ever counted was the job.
At weekends, I type up,
going over the As twice.
He goes home to his wife. Mum?!
Mum, Oscar's gone wild!
We couldn't stop him!
He won't come off the lake!
Had a taste of freedom.
He didn't fancy my carrot,
Mrs Singleton. Oscar?
Reckon we've had it with that one.
Come on, Oscar.
The police aren't going to let us
take the geese into London.
The traffic's too bad!
I don't care what your father says
and I don't care about the traffic!
We're not giving in!
Geese ain't givin' in, Mrs Singleton.
Did you ask them, Amos?
Tristram says it's impossible, as well!
This has nothing to do with damn Tristram!
And stop looking like that at me!
Epping is London, Mrs Singleton.
Your Emma says that's got
a London Underground train station
that's not underground.
It's not Smithfield market, Hubert,
and that's where we're going.
What the Holy Boys start, they finish.
The police have stopped us.
They won't allow us into
the metropolitan area.
All right... I'll do it alone.
What did the police say exactly?
What?!
The police, what did they say?
They said they would not allow geese
to waddle down their bloody road.
They don't have to waddle down
the bloody road. Come on!
Oi! Taking them down the Chinese, are we?
Yeah. Morning, Charlie!
Mind the step.
Not bad.
Three out of ten for content.
Not very good a dive, though, was it?
How far does this go?
Right into the City of London!
We'll miss all the sights!
Hey, Hubert, if you want us,
we'll be in the pub!
Don't work too hard!
Goosey goosey gander,
whither do you wander?
Upstairs, downstairs, in my lady's chamber?
Well, not today, not for these geese...
We'll do you later, David. Quickly, tilt down
off the office block, zoom in on the geese.
Quick as you can.
The geese are coming. Howard?!
Later, David, later!
Turn over! Ready!
Emma, please hold your pace!
We're nearly there!
I ain't seen no bloody sights!
You will, Hubert!
Is your name Singleton,
Looke's Farm, Letton, Norfolk?
Oh... no!
If you wouldn't mind signing here, sir?
You mean we can walk them in?
Thank you!
Thank you very much! Oh!
In they roll, from Granite Aberdeen,
from Fishguard in Wales,
from Belfast in the north of Ireland...
Will you please say Northern Ireland,
or just plain bloody Belfast?!
No, I will not, I would rather
leave it out altogether!
You also cut "predatory creatures".
What's he playing at?
He is Irish.
Ready? Predatory creatures.
In they roll, like giant, predatory
creatures gorged with meat.
Go on!
Not so, the flock of geese
being driven from Norfolk
to Smithfield Market, here in London.
For them, the journey is not yet over.
We'll have to split them, Amos!
You go that way!
Right, that's you lot!
I want the doors closing on them
as you say, Merry Christmas.
Come on!
Back a bit, Amos!
Back!
That's it, that's it, that's it.
Come on!
Since facilities for slaughter
no longer exist here at Smithfield,
the geese will be taken away, processed
and brought back to the market for sale.
Merry Christmas!
Cut! Ben, you must go with them.
That's a wrap, everybody. Thank you.
It really is infuriating...
I can't go with them,
I've got to go and see Clarke's.
Ben, please!
I bloody can't!
Alice?
Amos? I want you to go with them
and see... see that it's all done properly.
Take the transit.
Amos?
Thank you.
I'm not in dispute with the union!
I never have been!
There is no dispute, Basil!
Try and tell that to my lads
in that market.
There is nothing official, Basil.
I tell you what is official, Mr Clarke,
bring just one of those birds into
this market and it's at a standstill.
Compensation's been agreed
for the man's finger.
He'll get his money. I just want mine.
Don't worry, Mr Singleton, we're insured.
You'll get your money.
The geese will be taken away...
Oh, what a shame!
They've been on every day this week!
Merry Christmas.
'Ere, you was with them on the telly!
Yeah, that's me.
Oh-ho! It isn't often
we get telly stars in here!
Now let's take a gander
at the money market...
Cheerio!
Why don't you go and wait in the pub?
Why? How much longer are you going to be?
I don't know, but there might be
a little union problem.
It's the bloody television.
I'll work something out. Just...
go on, go and wait in the pub, please.
Please?
Hubert says the pubs are open. Oh!
Can I go in?
Oh, don't be too sad.
They've got to die somehow.
We could all be vegetarians.
I love you!
Oi!
Leave her alone!
I'm glad Oscar stayed on the lake.
I love you.
Leave her alone!
Hey, leave her alone! Put her down!
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
Hubert!
Dammit!
Bloody useless.
Amos!
Amos!
Hubert!
Bloody Hubert! Where are you?
Amos!
Blast it. Get away,
you stupid goose. Go on!
Amos.
Ben. Hm? Oh, my God.
Couldn't you be more careful?
What the bloody hell's happened?
There's no need to swear.
I told them at the bank.
I suppose you didn't manage to get
the overdraft extended?
And I don't suppose you remembered
the Christmas decorations?
Alice, what's happened?
Your plucking team's on strike.
God.
Amos!
Amos.
Tell him it's official. Guvnor's back.
Well, what'd he say?
Didn't wait to find out, did I.
Oh. It is union business.
It's us, sir. It was on earlier on.
Murphy! Yes, I'm hanging on.
Murphy! Come, boy.
Union business, Derek. Who is it?
No idea. Where are you off to then?
The lav.
Hello. Brenda!
One at a time. You know the rules!
I'm burstin', Derek. Brenda!
Hands can cool if you're a woman, Derek.
Look, I've informed area office.
No, I can't.
It's Christmas up here. I can't come over.
We'll be looking out for him then.
We're getting one of the Transport
and General Workers officials
from Norwich. Sent over special.
Name's Armitage.
United we stand, that's what you say.
You two were down here.
What's wrong with our old bloody official?
We're all one now, Amos.
Hearse and transport workers, amalgamated.
Perhaps now we'll get some action.
Who fed them?
I didn't know they'd been fed.
They're out there eating their heads off.
They should be plucked
and ready for off now.
They're due for
blow freezing tomorrow, Alice.
A man has lost two knuckles off the
index finger of his right hand.
What?!
Who?
I don't know their names.
I had to go and tell his wife.
Mrs... Dibney.
Oh, my... And I had to drive him
to the Norfolk and Norwich.
There's blood all over the transit.
I hope you're insured.
Don't you think you ought to ring
Archers Transport?
They'll be here first thing in the morning.
What are we going to do?
I didn't agree with involving
the bloody union in the first place.
You don't keep no dog and bark yourself.
It's the rights of man
what's at stake here.
Every bugger what hails from
Thetford is the bloody same.
The rights of bloody man.
You hail from Thetford?
I never knew that.
Went to the same school as Tom Paine, me.
Reg Dibney's lost his trigger finger.
That costs money.
A wife and six kids has Reg.
Another on the way.
Pity it wasn't something else
he stuck in the plucking machine.
I've nothing for you, Oscar.
But I... I just wanted to find out
if I was insured.
Now you tell me I'm not.
Oh, I am? So sorry. I misheard you.
Right, well,
I'll get it in the post tomorrow.
Thank you. Where have you been? Bye-bye.
Choir.
You don't have choir practice
on the last day of term.
I've been to a choir party.
You don't have choir parties either.
How did Dad get on at the bank?
Did he get enough for me to go to Zermatt?
If I hear you mention Zermat
one more time...
Dad. Hm?
You've got no trousers on.
You smell.
My sister won't have a dog
in her new motor.
What the hell do you think
you're playing at?
Won't have you in neither.
Good evening, Mr Singleton.
Peter Armitage - T&G.
What?
Could I just see where the
accident happened, please?
What the hell's going on?!
There's been an industrial accident here.
Follow me.
Excuse me, Mr Singleton.
Excuse me, Mr Singleton.
Would you just come back here!
There's the machine
where the accident took place.
Oh, I see.
And what does it do exactly, this machine?
It plucks. That there is a
plucking machine.
I was demonstrating to
Brother Dibney how it worked.
Is this new technology?
A plucking machine? New technology?
Please, Mr Singleton, I was out at a
biscuit factory in Norwich...
Geese are not bloody biscuits!
They're alive!
It matter not to me whether they're
geese or biscuits, Mr Singleton.
Those geese are out of here
by tomorrow night...
We'll have it all sorted out...
..if I have to do the job myself.
...before the geese are moved. If you're not in that
yard tomorrow morning, you know where you can go.
And that goes for you too.
..living in the past, Mr Singleton.
Well, from an official of the T&G,
that takes the bloody biscuit.
One of my members has had a serious
industrial accident...
Just clear off my land! All of you!
Excuse me.
And where did you
get your land from, Mr Singleton?
Has he got a phone in there, lads?
We've been using the one down at the lane.
Always take the fight to the enemy, lads.
He should call us brothers not lads.
Murphy makes more sense when she
farts than yon fella.
Hello, love. Could I just
use your phone for a minute?
A couple of quick calls. Sod off! Ben!
I told him it were going round
when he stuck his finger in.
Ha! He was squealing like a stuck pig.
Workers are not expected to accept
new technology without a memo.
I'm in that yard in the morning. Scab!
Bloody cottage scab.
Not losing one of our soldiers, are we?
Man who don't allow a dog in his motor car
ain't getting me on his bandwagon.
Goodnight to you.
Murphy!
I reckon you'll be needing this
as evidence, brother.
What is it? That there is the end
of Reg's finger.
Emma.
Emma, would you like to help me
with the decorations?
Emma, I want you down
these stairs at once! Do you...?
That's all, Dad.
Hm.
She's only upset
because I was late home, you know?
Yes. Yes.
I've met his heating engineer.
We're having central heating installed
in the old gym over Christmas.
Heating engineer?
He sounds like an old man.
He is! He's 19. Sh!
Basil.
Ben!
It's Archers.
Will you come and speak to them?
That union man's been on to them.
You haven't any transport!
Ben! You do not have any transport!
You could walk them to London.
They used to from around here.
Hugh told me.
They gave them shoes from tar and sand.
Ben!
Ben, you can't walk your geese to London.
I can walk them wherever I want.
You can't take them on the road.
It's against the law.
Traffic has to give way to animals.
It's in the Highway Code.
It is not. Animals do not have
priority on the road.
You don't know what you're talking about!
Animals do not have priority on the road.
Ben, will you listen to me?!
Ben!
Ben.
Ben!
You're overreacting.
Who says? Your father?
I'm on the bloody Titanic
and some jumped up solicitor's clerk
tells me I'm overreacting.
Would you get in the house!
Do your job, Emma.
Ben, will you stop being
so damn pig-headed. It's illegal!
Mum, you broke into the vivisection
labs and that was illegal.
Will you get in the house!
Get on with your job, Emma.
Ben, please! Taking my goods to
market is not illegal.
Get transport. You know you can.
George Fletcher will have containers
going down every day this fortnight.
You're being your usual pig-headed
self, Ben, and I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of it! Sick of it!
Where are you going? Alice?
To the factory!
Alice! Where are you going?
I'm gonna get some transport
from the factory!
Alice!
Shoo! It's about bloody time.
Roads we've got nowadays,
no need to tar 'em.
Man who pays the piper calls the tune.
Finger out!
We should have stuck by Reg.
What the boy starts, he finishes.
Regimental motto.
I takes on a flat,
I takes it on from start to finish.
Well, I never have been to London.
Never will if you don't
stop from idling. Strike's over.
Do you know where I can find Mr Fletcher?
What are you looking at? Do you want a job?
Ben.
You don't have to
walk your geese to London.
I'll ask my father for the money.
I don't want any money
and I don't want any transport.
Night-night. Mind the fleas.
Love you.
If you love me...
you'd let me go.
You don't love anybody!
Emma, please.
You don't love my dad.
Take them to London, Hubert.
I've packed your suit.
I won't wear it, Gran.
You will. You'll need it
when you go to London.
Now, be a good boy.
Cheerio. There you go.
Hubert, be a good boy.
Mind the geese, you maniac!
Come on! Come on!
You better hold on.
Well done, you two.
Hubert, rustle up some food,
will you? I'm starving!
Amos, put the fence up.
Bloody talk, don't he?
Amos, get the fence up!
You've got enough money,
haven't you, Hubert?
Oi, Hubert! Rollo. Hubert, what's going on?
What does it look like?
Where you taking them?
London.
London?
Are you deaf as well as daft,
Rollo? London.
Excuse me. Can you turn
that thing down, please?
It's disturbing my birds.
All right?
The birds I know reckons my radio.
You aren't walking down to London
with this lot.
Oh, sorry, Rollo.
Oi, you'll pay for this, Hubert.
This cost a lot of money, this did.
Ugh!
My old grandad used to drive a flock
to Norwich twice a year.
Michaelmas and Christmas.
And what they didn't sell,
they used to walk back.
I were only a lad,
and that's nigh on 40 miles.
Have you seen that heater?
It's in the trailer.
Don't want young bugger snaffling it.
Mr Singleton.
Norwich and back,
nigh on 40-mile roundtrip.
Do that in two days.
100 miles to London. Ten miles a day.
Do that easy.
Didn't do no 10 miles today.
Well, I'm off for home.
I don't see no sense in sleeping in here
when I'm less than three miles
from my own flannelette sheets.
Night.
Hiya, boss.
Come on then.
Hello there. Hands on!
Come on.
I took the buggers on, didn't I?
Freezing it was.
I see you've got your Sunday best on, Amos.
Yeah.
Here, I brought you some sandwiches.
Are one of these for him?
Look at that.
He's supposed to provide for us.
Morning, Hubert.
Emma!
Dad.
Does your mother know you're here?
I'm not going back.
"Striving shall suffice.
"The aim of reached or not
makes good the life.
"It's a quote and I do love you.
"Emma."
Emma, ring your mother.
What the bloody hell's going on?
Amos! The transit. Dad, I'm not going back.
Just do as you're told! Me?
Not you. Emma. Now...
First-class walking is better than
second-class driving any day.
Amos! Knock her out of gear
going downhill, will you?
It won't help. The thermostat's knackered.
It'll be all right, Amos.
Not only thermostat's knackered.
That's it. Sit down there.
Train station, is that right? That's right.
She might have set off after us, Dad.
Hope so.
I might be a little bit late
on this next job.
There's one or two smokeys...
It's like skateboarding
instead of Concorde.
We're all set for the afternoon, are we?
Excuse me. I've changed my mind.
Amos!
Something's coming.
Slow down. Slow down.
You bloody maniac!
Stupid idiot!
It's too dark. We should be off the road.
Well...
We'd better get the geese off the road.
Leave the bloody headlights on, Amos!
I ain't finished yet.
Past my bedtime, boy!
That ain't all that you're bloody past.
No, don't fight me. Come in here.
That's it.
Move over. Come on.
That's it. Move over.
Dad, don't forget.
You said there was no going back.
Thank you, Alice.
You've brought enough.
I was leaving you.
Geese, when they mate, it's forever.
Emma, please.
Night-night.
Mind the fleas don't bite.
I love you. I won't tell you again, Emma!
Move about. Come on.
Woohoo!
Thank you, Officer.
The law gives the permission,
not the police. What did he say?
"Keep moving."
Come on, girls.
This way.
If you get these geese to Smithfield,
it won't pay off the overdraught.
What do you want me to do?
Go skulking back to the college?
Lecturing others on humane animal husbandry
when I know that I can't do it myself?
If what I'm doing isn't
important to you any more,
what the hell are you doing here?
I think we're more important.
You and me.
Hm.
Just keep moving. Please!
Hello! Hello.
Anyone in? Knock again.
I have done. Well, try again.
There is someone in, you know.
Oh, they're funny buggers
round here, Mrs Singleton.
Pardon your French.
You tried round the back?
You won't get them out of that one.
Mind your potty, Mrs Singleton.
Thermostat's knackered.
Got to go and get a new one.
Make sure he gives you the money for it.
He tried palming me off with a fiver.
You wait till tomorrow, Mrs Singleton,
when we gets to Suffolk.
Oh, they're nosy buggers in Suffolk.
The unspeakable in pursuit
of the uneatable.
It's a quote.
Oscar Wilde said it.
Didn't you, Oscar?
...just don't go experimenting on animals
for the sake of it, you know?
I know. It's the cosmetics
industry which is wrong.
The majority of animal...
These bloody things belong to you?
Get them out of here
and be damn quick about it.
Everything all right? No damage done?
No damage? No damage done?!
Look, I want them out of here.
I want them off my land.
Off my bloody land!
Where did your land come from?!
What?
Dennis, hold the horse
while I ring the Sergeant.
That's a warning for you. I heard
about you on the radio this morning.
Driving a flock of geese to London,
aren't you?
What for?
Because I want to.
Have you got a closet
I can make a little use of.
Just go round the back of the building.
Hubert... Me first!
Hubert! I bloody asked!
Behave like a damn billy goat, he do.
He don't have to go
head-on against the gentry
like he did this morning.
You've got to show the gentry
a little respect.
What respect have you ever shown
bloody gentry?
I always show 'em respect.
I always tell them I vote Tory
whilst I votes Labour on the quiet.
Hold to your own, lad.
Get some transport, Ben.
Dry weather first thing.
Temperatures will remain low...
What happened to your reindeer?
Haven't you paid your licence fee?
You know what?
You ought to go to Weight Watchers.
These are the lame ones, see. Oh, yeah?
Nothing else wrong with them.
Fallen off the back of a lorry, have they?
It's perfectly possible.
Come on, bring them through!
Come on! Watch that left-hand side!
Emma, please concentrate! Come on!
If you just listen to me,
it'll be all right.
Emma, I said listen!
Gently! Gently!
Hubert, watch that bridge!
Emma, do it gently!
Emma!
It's not funny, Emma!
Try and keep them in one long,
straight line!
And if you see any lame ones, call me
and I will get them out
and put them in the trailer.
Ben, if you'd only stop roaring out orders
and come back here and talk to us
personally,
we could understand what you're doing!
And you've upset that child twice today!
And for goodness' sake,
stop being so bossy!
They must be freezing in here.
They've got the heater.
Look, you go on to the pub.
All right? I'll manage. Go on.
Er... could you leave me the torch?
Please?
Sorry. Thank you. Sorry!
Why didn't you book us in near here?
I didn't know we were going to be here.
Here comes that goose girl.
I wouldn't mind goosing that myself.
You can't cancel hotels rooms
at this time of night, David!
They shouldn't be in here.
Landlord, do you have a phone
I could use, please?
No, he doesn't. And a large Grouse.
The crew will be doing a flyer
and the rendezvous is The Crown...
Thank you very much. Thank you.
That man in the brown anorak,
I've seen him on the telly!
It's your knock, I think, David.
We did really well today.
Quiet country roads.
Wait till we get to main roads.
Wait till we get to London.
It's Sunday.
Even London's quiet on a Sunday.
A thousand quid for a trigger finger!
Ben?
Damn! I forgot to check the fence.
I never knew you could choose!
Did you, Amos?
# Bring me my chariot of... #
Oh!
Everything all right there, Mr Singleton?
Yes, indeed.
Well, night to you, then.
Hm.
I thought for one horrible bloody
moment he was going to give us
one of his lectures
on humane animal husbandry,
whatever that is!
I thought he'd come for his hay bale!
You can talk to me, Ben.
Down off the church, zoom out to David.
Turn over! Mark it!
Round-up goose story, take one.
And action, David!
Christmas is coming, the goose
is getting fat.
At least it should be.
Only this Christmas, your Christmas goose
could be a little thinner than usual.
It could also be much fresher.
Christmas is coming, the goose
is getting fat, or it should be.
My blummin' intro!
Come on, Howard, for God's sake!
Shush!
Mr Singleton, walking
500 geese from Norfolk to London...
No, thank you.
There's plenty. No, thank you, truly.
Just in case you change your mind.
Mr Singleton? Sh!
Sorry, Gwen. No, thank you.
Do you mind if I turn the sound up
a bit? Oh, no.
Ooh! Oh, thank you.
Don will be furious he missed you.
It's Young Farmers' club night.
Oh, yes?
We take it in turns.
Just be yourself, Singleton, please.
They began eight days ago
and over 50 miles back,
and still, on they plod.
But just why are they doing it?
The first person I asked was Mrs
Singleton herself, a former teacher.
Mrs Singleton, why are you doing it?
Because it's fair.
Oh, dear.
For Mr Singleton, it is a mountain
of a different kind he aims to conquer.
The mighty Transport
and General Workers' Union.
Mr Singleton, this is a protest march?
Yes, it is, in a way.
Against the Transport
and General Workers' Union?
Against what's happening
in livestock farming today.
It's not the first time Mr Ben Singleton
has been involved in protests
of one kind or another.
Bastards! The former...
Lad what thought you up
really knew what he were about.
'Ere! Did you know
we was on a protest march?
On a what? Protest march against the union!
Says so on the telly!
I reckon you should've told him!
Get on!
D'oh!
That's your hound, you take her.
Come on, lassie, come on.
I still reckon we should've told him.
I don't give a bugger what you reckon.
It ain't right!
Bloody stupid!
College boys is always writing on t'wall.
You want to be put out to grass, Amos!
What do you know? What do you bloody know?!
Well, go on! Go on!
Oh, Christ! Here!
Don't want your baggage neither!
We all right for a lift
far as the top road?
Where's the geese, then?
'Ere, I seen you on the telly.
Have you packed it in?
I said to my missus
you'd never do it, you'd pack it in.
You wait till I tell her!
Are we all right for a lift, then?
It's more than my job's worth, boy!
You ought to look after them geese!
Not much of a bloody job!
Better than the one we ain't bloody got!
"What the Holy Boys start, they finish."
That's all squit!
You never was
in the Royal Norfolk Regiment!
Cos my gran says you was never in the army!
Do you want a lift, then?
I'm going to have it out with him,
face-to-face, man-to-man.
You want a lift, then? You can
stick your lift right up your arse!
Murphy?
Stick your lift right up your arse!
And you can tell your gran
I wasn't in the Holy Boys
cos farming was a bloody
reserved occupation!
You owe me an explanation.
We don't owe you nothin'.
What about that?! Said it on the telly.
They said it, not me!
You don't have to talk to 'em.
That all your bloody husband does, is talk.
He never listens. What did I say, then, hm?
Go on, tell me, what did I say?!
It were reported to me,
and you don't have to talk to 'em.
You do, if you want to get anything done!
Bloody squit!
What is yous wanting to do?
Come on, tell us.
I want to walk my geese to market.
If you don't want to come with me,
you can bugger off.
But before you go...
I want that off my van, OK?
Come on, you two.
I'll do it.
No, you won't!
Come on!
Amos and Hubert, they're the salt
of the Earth, you know.
They weren't first thing this morning.
The students at the Royal had a raw deal.
At least, they did in my opinion.
Farming today is not about
running daddy's estate or farm.
The reality is factory farming,
and that doesn't just mean keeping
a few thousand hens in cages.
Barry should have got rid of all this.
Punters aren't
interested in factory farming.
The little man against the mighty
union, that's what they want.
Factory farming is about as
progressive as nuclear weapons.
Good! See these birds? These birds...
Whose side are you on? His!
Amos, you're on! Not interested.
No way to treat a young lady!
Merry Christmas, lads!
Certainly sorted that lot out, Amos.
You certainly did.
There's someone coming,
Mr Singleton! Get back!
What are you doing?! Idiots!
What are you doing?! Slow down!
Hey! Shoo! Shoo-shoo!
Idiots!
Go on, shoo! Amos!
They're getting back on the road!
They're coming back! Shoo!
If I get hold of one of you,
I'll put your whole face...!
My dad said we could do with
a lad on a motorbike.
But he doesn't like skinheads,
and neither do I.
I'm Emma.
Tristram.
Hm! Emma, will you please stop
fooling around
and pay attention to your job?!
Dad, this is Tristram!
I'll do a good job for you.
I've got my own tent.
Tired, but undaunted,
the intrepid travellers press on.
Secure in the knowledge the bulk of
their journey lies behind them.
There are still gigantic hurdles to leap,
but the finishing straight beckons
and the winning post must soon be in sight.
Smithfield Market, in the City of London.
The meat mecca of the nation
and the destination,
particularly at Christmas,
of man and beast down through the ages.
For these 20th-century drovers,
it will indeed be journey's end.
David Wolmer, North Essex, until tomorrow.
And cut! Thank you.
Check it. How was it for you?
The geese were a bit noisy on that one.
We can live with that. Gate's clear.
Is that a wrap, Howard? It's a wrap.
Howard?
Um... about tomorrow. Any ideas?
Seems to be going a bit flat.
Well, sometimes, David,
you have to make it happen.
Tristram?
Dad! Dad, they've gone!
Dad! Dad, quickly!
Dad, please!
Amos!
Over here!
Jesus!
Right! I want to know,
who put the fence up last night?!
I did.
Come on, you lot!
Well done, Emma.
And me, I helped.
Well plenty done, the pair of you!
Dad, I'm sorry!
It's no good being sorry!
This isn't a bloody joyride!
Mr Singleton? What?! I think
you're barking up the wrong tree.
Ben! What the hell are you doing?
Dad! Ben! Stop it!
Hey! Mind that goose!
Turn over! Don't come near us again,
all right?!
Mind your own damn business!
What the bloody hell was that about?!
Any of you! You understand?!
David, are you all right?
What was all that about?
You just stay away from us, all of you!
And you can tell your friend to
stop that filming! Go on, stop it!
Keep turning.
You lie, you cheat, you connive, you...!
That would be a very serious mistake.
You just go about your business!
We're going about ours.
We're not going away!
Come on. They're trying to manipulate me.
You just bugger off and leave us alone!
Get away! All of you! Go on!
What's all that about, for God's sake?
If you're putting up your face
to be kissed, David,
you must expect to get it
slapped occasionally.
Think they might've broken this fence.
Yeah.
Where's he going?! It's to the left!
To the left, Alice, left!
All right, it wasn't your fault.
It wasn't your fault.
It wasn't your fault, it wasn't your fault.
It wasn't your fault.
It's all right. It's all right,
don't worry about it.
Come on now, it wasn't your fault.
It really wasn't your fault.
She should never have
been in the van with him.
That girl's walked every step of
the way. She's the only one who has!
My indicator's broken.
What?! The off-side.
What about them, then?! What about them?!
Shouldn't be on the road.
Well, where should they be?! You
tell me that! Why should they be?!
I don't know. Er... fields!
Er...
My indicator's broken!
I'll break more than your bloody
indicator, I'll tell you.
You can have that for
your indicator. Oh, gosh!
Fair exchange. Alice!
Can't get them no fresher.
Alice!
I reckon if folk had to kill
their own, Hubert,
most people would be having
boiled cabbage for Christmas dinner.
My dad doesn't blame you, Tristram.
Honestly!
Oscar, go on, be a good boy.
My dad pair-bonded him with me.
That's why he follows me around.
I know what pair bonding is.
I'm not completely stupid, you know.
I did get my O-level biology.
You told my mum you didn't have
any O-levels.
This morning, when she was quizzing you.
Well, they cuss you even more
if they know you have
and you haven't you got a job.
So, how many O-levels have you got, then?
Nine, and two A-levels.
Still can't get a job.
They're not very good grades, though.
Oscar!
Emma? We're up early!
See you in the morning, then.
Night. Night-night. Mind the...
What? Nothing.
Sorry.
Night.
And for your information, Mum,
Tristram has nine O-levels
and two A-levels!
Emma!
London!
'Tato for you, Mrs Singleton?
Always tastes better
when it don't cost nothin'.
It is a celebration.
Can't celebrate without ale.
They'll be back soon.
Your old gander's got bot.
Others keep having a go at it.
Better get him pulled.
He'll last till market. Righto.
Not in front of the missus, Hubert!
Oh, don't bother about me, Amos.
Not any more.
When I were a lad, every
labouring family kept a pig.
Kept it like one of the family.
But when the time come, that had to go.
Not that my dad wanted to, mind.
We had to bow our head whenever
there were meat on the table,
and that weren't very often.
And that weren't because
he believed in any religion.
He said, "God died on the Somme".
No.
That were respect for the birds
and the animals.
Their lives sacrificed for ours.
I always did go along with him on that.
Not that I practised it, mind, but...
I've always had respect for livestock.
That's the one thing me and Mr
Singleton do see eye to eye on, eh?
Him with his new-fangled methods,
me... with my old-fashioned methods.
And he's the governor.
We could go to the Electric Ballroom.
It's open till 2:00am.
They'll not let you in with a helmet.
I'm not leaving my bike outside,
not in London.
That's him. I reckon we ain't going
to need them taters after all!
We could go on the underground.
The Tube? Here you are, Amos,
punch a hole in those!
What we got, Tristram? Bitter.
I got you some water.
Coca-Cola for you, is it?
Mum, you're crying!
No, I'm not!
You are! I'm not!
I'm happy. Good Lord knew what
he were doing when he invented ale.
Mum, you were crying.
It was the smoke from the fire.
Tattie for you, Mr Singleton.
'Ere you are, Emma, tattie for you.
Hey, Amos, me and you's got to share that.
What the Holy Boy starts, he finishes.
...But the end is in sight...
Roll.
Seven, six, five, four,
three, two, one.
And take it.
Great stuff, Howard. Love it upstairs.
Couldn't you get the pet goose
in the middle - Oscar?
Bit Wolmer's arse, he won't go near it.
And you didn't get it? Changing 'Max.
I've got to cut in the union
interview, Howard. A bit of balance.
Bugger balance!
Transport hasn't been officially
withheld, never has been.
You'll spoil a nice little Christmas story.
They're screaming media bias!
Union batting!
We'll take it at the end of this
as a single frame.
...The City of London.
We need more geese and less of the Wolmer.
Gary? Three, two, one...
Take air. Cue.
If you are dreaming of a white Christmas...
I envy you your job.
You've been everywhere.
I've never broken my little finger
falling off a mountain in the Himalayas.
My A is still weak when I type.
Is Howard always so unscrupulous?
He's good at his job. So are you.
All that ever counted was the job.
At weekends, I type up,
going over the As twice.
He goes home to his wife. Mum?!
Mum, Oscar's gone wild!
We couldn't stop him!
He won't come off the lake!
Had a taste of freedom.
He didn't fancy my carrot,
Mrs Singleton. Oscar?
Reckon we've had it with that one.
Come on, Oscar.
The police aren't going to let us
take the geese into London.
The traffic's too bad!
I don't care what your father says
and I don't care about the traffic!
We're not giving in!
Geese ain't givin' in, Mrs Singleton.
Did you ask them, Amos?
Tristram says it's impossible, as well!
This has nothing to do with damn Tristram!
And stop looking like that at me!
Epping is London, Mrs Singleton.
Your Emma says that's got
a London Underground train station
that's not underground.
It's not Smithfield market, Hubert,
and that's where we're going.
What the Holy Boys start, they finish.
The police have stopped us.
They won't allow us into
the metropolitan area.
All right... I'll do it alone.
What did the police say exactly?
What?!
The police, what did they say?
They said they would not allow geese
to waddle down their bloody road.
They don't have to waddle down
the bloody road. Come on!
Oi! Taking them down the Chinese, are we?
Yeah. Morning, Charlie!
Mind the step.
Not bad.
Three out of ten for content.
Not very good a dive, though, was it?
How far does this go?
Right into the City of London!
We'll miss all the sights!
Hey, Hubert, if you want us,
we'll be in the pub!
Don't work too hard!
Goosey goosey gander,
whither do you wander?
Upstairs, downstairs, in my lady's chamber?
Well, not today, not for these geese...
We'll do you later, David. Quickly, tilt down
off the office block, zoom in on the geese.
Quick as you can.
The geese are coming. Howard?!
Later, David, later!
Turn over! Ready!
Emma, please hold your pace!
We're nearly there!
I ain't seen no bloody sights!
You will, Hubert!
Is your name Singleton,
Looke's Farm, Letton, Norfolk?
Oh... no!
If you wouldn't mind signing here, sir?
You mean we can walk them in?
Thank you!
Thank you very much! Oh!
In they roll, from Granite Aberdeen,
from Fishguard in Wales,
from Belfast in the north of Ireland...
Will you please say Northern Ireland,
or just plain bloody Belfast?!
No, I will not, I would rather
leave it out altogether!
You also cut "predatory creatures".
What's he playing at?
He is Irish.
Ready? Predatory creatures.
In they roll, like giant, predatory
creatures gorged with meat.
Go on!
Not so, the flock of geese
being driven from Norfolk
to Smithfield Market, here in London.
For them, the journey is not yet over.
We'll have to split them, Amos!
You go that way!
Right, that's you lot!
I want the doors closing on them
as you say, Merry Christmas.
Come on!
Back a bit, Amos!
Back!
That's it, that's it, that's it.
Come on!
Since facilities for slaughter
no longer exist here at Smithfield,
the geese will be taken away, processed
and brought back to the market for sale.
Merry Christmas!
Cut! Ben, you must go with them.
That's a wrap, everybody. Thank you.
It really is infuriating...
I can't go with them,
I've got to go and see Clarke's.
Ben, please!
I bloody can't!
Alice?
Amos? I want you to go with them
and see... see that it's all done properly.
Take the transit.
Amos?
Thank you.
I'm not in dispute with the union!
I never have been!
There is no dispute, Basil!
Try and tell that to my lads
in that market.
There is nothing official, Basil.
I tell you what is official, Mr Clarke,
bring just one of those birds into
this market and it's at a standstill.
Compensation's been agreed
for the man's finger.
He'll get his money. I just want mine.
Don't worry, Mr Singleton, we're insured.
You'll get your money.
The geese will be taken away...
Oh, what a shame!
They've been on every day this week!
Merry Christmas.
'Ere, you was with them on the telly!
Yeah, that's me.
Oh-ho! It isn't often
we get telly stars in here!
Now let's take a gander
at the money market...
Cheerio!
Why don't you go and wait in the pub?
Why? How much longer are you going to be?
I don't know, but there might be
a little union problem.
It's the bloody television.
I'll work something out. Just...
go on, go and wait in the pub, please.
Please?
Hubert says the pubs are open. Oh!
Can I go in?
Oh, don't be too sad.
They've got to die somehow.
We could all be vegetarians.
I love you!
Oi!
Leave her alone!
I'm glad Oscar stayed on the lake.
I love you.
Leave her alone!
Hey, leave her alone! Put her down!
Subtitles by Red Bee Media