Simply Actors (2007) - full transcript

No? Why did you leave it here?

Are you here to file a report on
someone wrecking your truck?

Then I will need to ask you
a few questions.

First question.

Which dairy product has wings?

"Butter"flies.

How did you know?

Okay, another pop quiz.

What kind of beer never gets you drunk?

Root beer.

You're so good.



Let me tell you a secret.

Jia Jia, the panda from Ocean Park,
actually died recently.

I go undercover to play it sometimes.

See any resemblance?

Come over here.

Do you know what pandas love to eat?

Tell me.

Chocolate bars? Or ice cream?

Ice cream!

That's right, got any ice cream
for me then?

No? Fine, let me show you then.

Have some, go for it with big gulps.

You know what, though?
An An, the other panda, had two babies.

See this?



I meant the actress Yu An-an!

Constable 3824! Stop clowning around.

A CIB case needs guys
to go as undercover pedestrians.

Get changed and get going.

-Freeze.
-Freeze.

-Police, freeze!
-Freeze!

Put your hands behind your head!

Place your firearm back in the holster!

3824 reporting for duty, sir!

I don't know how to talk to this guy,
you take over.

Good thing you came late.

Do you know what you resemble? A robber.

Get moving.

Are you from my hometown?

Get moving, homeboy.

I might just shoot you.

Look at yourself.

You look neither like a cop or a robber.

Thank God these fools dress like this.

Making it obvious for us to arrest them.

Listen up, I don't want to
use this guy again.

Yes, sir!

Sir, I didn't think
they'd follow my style.

Hey, guys?

Any more robbers we need to arrest?

Wait up.

I didn't bring my wallet!

Wait up, please...

I paged everyone in
for this emergency meeting.

This guy was our mole in
Crazy Sam's crime organization.

Crap acting?

Wow, Crazy Sam sure knows
great calligraphy.

Yeah?

Maybe he hired someone else
to write this, look...

Our guy died,
stop admiring the handwriting.

Any thoughts?

I think Crazy Sam crossed the line here.

It's not our fault that our undercover
have crap acting skills.

This is common even in HK movies.

Our undercovers get paid only
like ten-twenty thousand bucks.

Actors with million dollar paychecks
are equally as bad with acting.

-Don't you guys agree?
-Yeah.

It's unfair to be singling us out.
That's unreasonable.

Drug lords don't play fair anyway.

Exactly...

Crap actors at most lose out
on awards nights.

But our undercovers
are losing their lives.

Maybe we should make acting lessons
mandatory in the force.

No, people may say the police force
is being pretentious.

It's not good for public image.

Well...

Maybe let's send a cop into acting school.

Let's look at the outcome
then decide our next step.

Any ideal candidates then?

Come on, anyone?

Hey, you. Whatever your name is...

Anyone in the force
we can send to acting school?

There is this guy...

He's been in the Force for
quite a few years now.

He always stars in those
annual party skits.

He's very much into acting.

That's the one then.

Sirs, the hotpot is ready.

It's all settled then.

Sure is.

-Let's eat.
-Okay.

-Any lobster balls?
-Sure.

-Chief...
-Bottom of the pot.

Sir, 3824 Man Long Chan
reporting for duty.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

You're just in time.

What I am about to tell you is top secret.

Not even when your very life is threatened
should you ever divulge any of this.

Two days ago,

around 36 seconds past 11:24
in the evening,

one of our guys, let's call him Ah Yan.

He had spent 187 days

to infiltrate drug lord Crazy Sam's gang.

Crazy Sam's a merciless murderer.

Anyone he has doubts on,
he will kill without hesitation.

Ah Yan went to Crazy Sam's church.

He saw Crazy Sam on his knees praying.

"Forgive me, oh, Lord", he said.

Sam's bodyguards closed in
on Ah Yan behind him.

Suddenly Sam turned around,

his eyes glaring,

and stared at Ah Yan.

He asked Ah Yan,

"Are you an undercover cop?"

Ah Yan swiftly denied,
"Of course not, Sam".

Sam lifted the candle holder
and stabbed...

Ah Yan's head.

He started bleeding profusely.

The wax from the candle spilling on him
and solidifying.

Ah Yan begged for his life vehemently.

"Sam, listen to me please,
for the love of God."

Sam pulled out a string of steel wire
embedded in his watch.

He quickly wrapped it around
Ah Yan's neck tightly.

Ah Yan can barely say Sam's name.

And before he could mutter Sam's name
he was gone.

A hissing sound escaped from Ah Yan's neck

exhaling his last breath ever.

Sam pressed his nose against Ah Yan's
and screamed

"You need acting chops
to be an undercover!"

Ah Yan's dead eyes
popped out of their sockets.

Blood streamed down from his snapped neck.

Sam used the blood to write on
Ah Yan's pristine white shirt.

"Crap acting".

These two words.

Ah Yan died in the line of duty that way.

Excellent performance!

I'm not done yet.

You've been called upon

to go on an important mission.

Being on a rooftop, you probably know
what I'm going to ask of you.

Sir? There are people
on that rooftop, too.

Inspector Anthony Wong
is talking to his undercover agent.

Someone behind you too, look.

Inspector Danny Lee bought a watch
for his mole's birthday.

Our undercover operations love rooftops.

Inspector Wong is in danger.

He's just been thrown from the roof!

Don't be such a gossip hound.

Crazy Sam was right,
we never took acting seriously.

But, sir,
I thought your acting is excellent.

Men after their 30's
got to have some acting skills.

However I'm not a constable like you,
my life is worth something.

Going undercover is dangerous.

Does this mean you're going to
eliminate my records?

You think this is a movie?

These are your undercover files,

The copy stays with me, the original goes
into the vault at the Justice Department.

Do you want a copy?

It's useful in case of emergency.

Will I get a watch from you
on my birthday?

Yes, here it is in case I forgot.

It's in the envelope.

On your actual birthday
I'll get you a clock.

Thanks.

Although you're the best actor
on the force,

we still need to send you
to a performance academy

to polish up your performance skills.

I'm going to be an actor.

Brother, your mom's looking for you.

Sir, there's a snake... in your trouser.

Crazy.

Have you taken your medicine?

Good morning, sir.

Freeze, hands behind your head.

I can't even reveal this
to my closest kin.

You scared me.

Judy, an incredible thing happened today.

I had a busy day at the shop,
I had to skip lunch.

I'm a cop, right?

I'm close to not being one.

But I'm actually still one.

I can't tell you the details.

The store manager is leaving next month,
word is I'm up for the job.

That's something that
I've always wanted to do.

And I'm this close
to realizing that dream.

But it's killing me that I can't tell you.

The truth is, apart from me,

Lisa and Jenny are both
jockeying for that job too.

I've always known that
I'm the only suitable person.

Please don't keep asking me,

don't ask about this watch.

I'm sorry I simply can't tell you.

I'm going undercover.

Oh, dear.

Pretend you didn't hear what I said.

I'm going to be the store manager.

Crazy Sam whipped out the wire
he embedded in his watch.

Blood spilled everywhere.

Ah Yan's words echoed
"I'm not..."

Crazy Sam used his blood to write down
these words

"Crap Acting".

Ah Yan died in the line of duty.

Principal, do you understand me now?

I do, but that's not my concern.

How was my acting?

Beginner's class level.

Oh, well, I'm recommending an undercover
to come here to learn.

-You're sending in an undercover agent?
-Yes.

It demands a rationale.

Simple, pretend that I came in here.

I lost this baton,
and he's here to find it for me.

This baton seems pretty useless.

It extends and can get pretty long.

Oh, okay...it works then.

Good morning.

I'm new here, where's the drama school?

-One floor up.
-Thanks.

Music school? I'm from Drama School.

Where's the drama school?

Thanks.

Newbie.

You don't even belong here. Goodbye.

So cool... I want to be an actor!

Life is unpredictable.

We're forced to interact
with different people in this world.

During the course of interaction
we may lose ourselves.

The world is unpredictable.

Is it our lives or the world
that's truly unpredictable?

Speaking of unpredictability,
we get a midterm new student today.

His name is Man Long Chan.

Mr. Chan, would you introduce yourself?

Hi guys, my name is Man Long Chan.

You can call me Long Chan, or Man Long.

Why do I speak Italian?

Because I studied drama in
Italy's Academia Spaghettia.

Sorry, I'm late, sorry.

Are you Professor Mong?

Yes.

Class.

Man Long's an example
of life's unpredictability,

this lady is another example
of the world's unpredictability.

Dani Dan, introduce yourself please?

How's everyone?

I'm Dani Dan.

I am usually...

...Around 34D, 23, 34 maybe?

You have a vivid memory,
you must've seen my movies?

You mean softcore porn movies.

Softcore porn actresses
can be serious actresses too.

Just like me.

I want to constantly better my skills--

I think we know what you mean.

Class, next time you're watching porn...

I mean...softcore porn films,
apart from ogling at the action,

please admire the acting skills as well.

Let me make an announcement then.

We have to stage a play
at the end of the semester.

I will select the male and female lead
in the next two weeks.

Let's all give it our best shot, okay?

Yes, sir.

Dani.

Thanks.

Let me pay you back.

Think of it as a celebration of
our first day at school. Cheers.

Man Long, did you really come from Italy?

You mean, you don't believe me?

I do believe you.

I really like Italy
but never had a chance to go there.

You seem like you're uneasy.

To be perfectly honest,
I am a fan of your work.

You're different from
other softcore porn actresses.

What do you mean?

You're special.

Which films of mine have you seen?

Saving Ryan's Privates.

You really did well in that movie.

Also in Sperms of...

...Endearment.

You were so convincing in that one.

You really had great erotic acting
in that one.

Also in Happy Nude Year Everyone.

It was a holiday movie.

Softcore porn movie for the holidays?

Well you know,
guys want a happy holiday too.

I guess you're right.

Why don't you tell me more
about your Italian adventures.

Italy's an interesting place.

The streets there
are filled with...Italians.

Do you know what the Italians do at home?

Eat pastas.

Really?

Of course. And they have tongues that...

Man Long Chan? I'm Ken.

Hi there.

You just returned from Italy, eh?

Can you do Italian opera?
I dabble a little bit in Euro theater.

Italian opera? Happens to be my forte!

Is it?

A soprano!

-You two are really good.
-Incredible.

You're doing this on purpose.

-Of course not.
-Forget it.

You can't control your urges.

Everyone's out of control.

-I got it first.
-I got it first.

There's more over there.

-How much?
-HK$180.

No discounts?

No, don't buy if you find it expensive.

-Hold on.
-Keep the change.

What the... He stole it from me.
You did nothing?

After I get off work I'll go after him.

I hear Mr. Kam's an excellent instructor
in body language.

Yeah?

He looks like he means business.

I like teachers to mean business.

Remember what I keep telling everybody?

We don't merely use our appearance
for acting.

Your limbs and body parts
are crucial too...and what do I mean?

You need to achieve total body balance.

-Understood?
-Understood!

Understood!

Why is it you're one beat slower
than the rest of the class?

You don't' have rhythm,
know what rhythm is?

Rhythm is...

Unlike a piece of log like you...

We're an ensemble, we need teamwork.

When we're acting,
before you immerse into your role,

you have to find your neutral mode.

Sir, when do we use our oily
or our dry modes?

You think this is about shampoos?
I mean neutral.

You just yap all day, shut up now.

Let's refresh on the sketch
we did yesterday.

I said relax, not go into seizure.

From your head, to your eyes.

Shoulders, body to your feet.

Just like falling asleep.

I said "like," not for real.

And so we begin...

See the love of your life,
walking towards you.

We take it one step at a time...

You went through too many steps.

We reach out trying to hold her.

But she's just too far
and out of reach, she's gone.

Shut up.

We use our right hand

to wave goodbye.

Bye.

Bye, please come back, I miss you.

-You have to...
-What the...

You're overdoing it.

Back to your position.

But I really do miss her, sir.
I don't think I'm exaggerating.

You're not exaggerating?
That was typical exaggerating.

There's a time to sing and time not to.

When is it not a time to sing?

Anyone?

When you have a sore throat.

Nice answer.

When else is not suitable for singing?

Has something to do with women.

It's when it's that time of the month
for you.

Just like sore throats,

your cords are pumping with blood
and can get hurt easily.

Anyone in the middle of her
menstrual cycle right now?

No? Okay, so keep up with me.

Crouch...

Feel your lower body.

Our lower what?

Your own, stop looking at others'.

My lower what?

You have a little "outlet".

It tenses up when you inhale,
and relaxes when you exhale.

Tense up, relax, and give out a sound.

Any sound.

You will realize that your voice
is connected to your lower "outlet".

Give it a shot.

Stop!

You here,
are you suffering from constipation?

No, sir, my legs are going numb.

Sir, when do we really go into singing?

You have to learn the basics,
then you can sing anytime.

Keep working on it...

I have a special announcement for you.

A TV crew is coming
to film our class later today.

Ignore the cameras,
and just be yourselves.

Just think of it as another day in class,
no need for anything special.

-Okay?
-Okay.

In this lifetime and the next,

and the last lifetime before this
and forever.

Hi, I'm Charmaine,
really pleased to see you guys here.

-You can ask me anything.
-Thanks.

Hi, my name is Charmaine,
I don't really know what to say.

Since we have two new students,

let's show them
the basics of body language.

Let's begin with separation,
let's do the head first.

You're not getting it, look at the others.

Separation is focusing on certain parts,
they all just move their heads.

Put your hands around here,
close to your ears.

You're slapping yourself.

Not your hands, your head!

You don't even know right from left.

Let's do chest exercises.

I knew you'd do this.

Freeze your lower body, your head too,
inhale and chest forward.

Just like this.

You went to the back yet?

That's impressive.

Okay, some hip rotation now, begin.

Just your hip, not your entire person.

Do you understand?
Just rotate your hip like this.

Just your hip.

Look at how Dani is doing it.

Dani, what do you do for a living?

I star in softcore porn.

Okay, let's go to our next exercise...

-What did you say just now?
-Softcore porn.

A skunk sat on a stump

and thunk the stump stunk.

There are a few
basic trainings for pronunciation.

Vocal cords, breathing and tongue use.

I sense a lot of problems
in the way you deliver your lines.

Wrong pronunciation, bad intonation

and some of you
haven't opened your voices.

Ever wonder why

an Indian guy like me can speak
better Cantonese than all of you?

You should be ashamed of yourselves!

Don't tell me it's not correctable.

Follow me,

Peter Piper picked
a peck of pickled peppers.

Peter Piper picked
a peck of pickled peppers.

Peter...Piper...Pickled...Peppers.

What is it?

Director, why are you here?

Get in the car.

I'm in the car.

Why do you have a cork in your mouth?
Acting as a wine bottle?

Apparently this helps in
pronunciation techniques, what's up?

I'm taking you somewhere.

What's going on?

You're acting weird.

You okay?

Better now!

Do you know what's right ahead of us?

The road?

I graduated from here.

What is it?

Performance Arts Academy.

I used to be a scholar.

You probably know my buddy Alan Mak.

He was crap during our school days.

The director of Infernal Affairs?

He's a big shot now,
I'm wallowing in porn.

Bosco, don't give up.

I think even in softcore porn
there are serious works of art.

Dani, I'm not giving up.

I got a film offer just today.

This is not just another
softcore porn film,

you're the only choice for the lead.

But I'm still studying.

Do you hear it? Pay attention.

There's a voice calling out for you.

Calling you to sacrifice
for the sake of art.

Dani, I know you're attuned to the arts,
you must hear it.

Maybe I can hear it a little bit.

So what's the story about?

The story is about a lonely woman.

Her pipes at home are clogged.
She needs a plumber.

She waited and waited.

And then the plumber shows up.

It has so many layers,
and lots of emotional scenes.

Dani, you're the only one
capable of playing this role.

I have a title for it already.

"Lord of the Drains".

Dani, use what you've learned.

Use it all in this new movie.

I know that you don't give up
on chasing dreams.

Okay.

So why don't you have dinner
with the producer tonight?

Make sure to put some make up on.

Listen up,

we're going to perform
Romeo and Juliet this year.

Anyone who wants to play the lead
have the next few sessions to impress.

Split into two's, find your match.

Let's rehearse this scene.

Put your heart into it.
A copy for everyone.

Give it your best shot, you guys.

One look at Charmaine,
I know she wants to be your Juliet.

But her acting ability...

may affect my performance.

I'm the only choice for you.

I take thee at thy word.

Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized

henceforth I never will be Romeo.

What man art thou
that thus be bescreen'd in night

so stumblest on my counsel?

My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself

because it is an enemy to thee.

Had I it written, I would tear the word.

How camest thou hither,
tell me, and wherefore?

The orchard walls
are high and hard to climb.

And the place death,
considering who thou art,

if any of my kinsmen find thee here.

Cut!

Man Long,
you said you studied acting in Italy?

That's right.

But I keep thinking of you
being in a circus instead.

-Kidding me, right?
-I'm serious.

I felt Dani Dan and I
had a connection right there.

-You thought so?
-Yes.

Why don't you switch over?

You be Romeo and you be Juliet.

Mr. Mong, we shall begin.

If they do see thee
they will murder thee.

Look thou but sweet.

And I am proof against their enmity.

No...

Please don't.

Let's do some face masking.

One mere masking of my hand
and I sport a depressed face.

One stroke and I am happy.

Alternate between
happiness and sadness, get it?

Try it.

-Happy, sad.
-Happy, sad.

-Happy, sad.
-Happy, sad.

Happy, sad.

Sad. Happy.

Sad, happy, sad.

What the hell?
You're overdoing this again.

Exaggerated, not exaggerated,
exaggerated, not exaggerated.

Who taught you this?
I want to strangle you!

Do it again if you dare.

Dead, alive, dead, alive, dead, alive.

You're insane, class is dismissed.

Insane, normal, insane, normal.

What?

Mr. Kam,
I practice all the time just like you.

Mr. Kam, I know I'm often doing it wrong.

Can you please teach me?

It's simple, you're constantly overacting.

A good actor does not need to exaggerate.

What do you mean?

Hide every emotion under the mask.

Keep your neutral mode on.

Don't use expressions, use body language.

Remember to use the mask.

Where are my face masks?

What are you up to?

Hey, I'm asking you...

What the...

Do you know how much these masks cost me?
You emptied my stock.

You and your Hollywood dreams.

Professor Mong, you're looking for me?

I'd like you to be my model, do you mind?

I don't mind.
Do you need me with clothes or without?

Up to you.

Relax.

-Man Long.
-Yes?

Do you have an object of sexual desire
in our class?

I... Not really...

Don't be shy, tell me.

-There is.
-There isn't.

-Come on, say it.
-I don't have--

Just tell me, say it.

Come on.

It's just you and me here,
you can be honest with me.

-Nobody.
-I'm sure there is.

Felicia?

Too heavy for my taste.

So you like them hot then?

-Hot.
-Hot.

Please don't tell anyone.

I won't. It's Dani, isn't it?

You've seen her naked pictures?

I have too.

What do you think you look like?

I look like a sex maniac.

I agree.

I asked you to come here
not to photograph you for real.

I want to show you

why your acting remains superficial.

Superficial? Why?

Because all along
you've been running away from your...

dark side.

"Dark side"?

Dark side.

It's free.

Face it. Use it. Embrace it.

Your acting will improve immeasurably.

If you're horny, admit you're horny.

Be a male lead, be a horny male lead.

The dark side...

it's free.

Thank you, Professor Mong.

It's free...

Horny...

Everyone's nervous?

I know why.

Today I'm announcing
who's playing our male and female leads.

During the last few sessions,

I observed that the two of you
not only have outstanding acting skills.

But also remarkable emotional honesty.

So, our Romeo is...

Our Juliet is...

Let's give them a chance
to express their feelings.

Here we go...

Thank you, I wasn't surprised one bit.

I've always trusted
Professor Mong's insight.

I've always believed that
there are no coincidences.

We never had a choice.

It's my pleasure to be raped by destiny.

That's going a little too far.

The rest of you,
please don't be disheartened.

Play your roles well.

Stanislavsky once said

"There are no small roles,
only small actors."

Man Long, you all right?

I agree with Stanislavsky's words.

It's unbelievable that he thought of that.

This is great, what great news.

Listen up.

Today's a great day.

To celebrate Alex being cast as the lead,
drinks on me, okay?

-Yeah.
-Drink up!

The losers are right over there,
show some humility, please.

Let's go have a drink.

I thought you were wonderful.

Stop it.

Cheers, congratulations.

Why don't we rehearse a scene here.

Right here?

You want it?

We want to see it, go for it Alex.

Let's do the Ball.

Go for it, Alex.

Let me show you something.

What?

"Lord of the Drains"?

It's a new script,
I start production in a few days.

Let's rehearse, you play the plumber.

I play the plumber?

Quiet.

In this scene, the plumber enters, do it.

"The plumber rings the doorbell."

That must be him.

You're the legendary Lord of the Drains?

You look more heroic than I imagined.

Let's get to it,
which pipe of yours is clogged?

I'll take you to the toilet,
and show you the pipe.

Lord of the Drains, that one.

One look and I can tell,
it is a very lonely pipe.

My lips, two blushing pilgrims,
ready stand.

To smooth that rough touch
with a tender kiss.

I see him dealing with the pipe
with all his might,

I exclaim with excitement.

Thus from my lips, by thine,
my sin is purged.

Okay, let's slip it back in again.

I think it needs a little encouragement.

Okay.

Go for it!

It's time for Romeo's kiss, hey!

Go for...

It was broken.

You all right, Alex?

He could hardly control himself.

My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself,
because it is an enemy to thee.

Had I it written,

I would tear the word.

My ears have not yet drunk
a hundred words,

of that tongue's uttering,

yet I know that sound.

Art thou not Romeo, and a Montague?

Neither, fair maid,
if either thee dislike.

How camest thou hither, tell me,
and wherefore?

The orchard walls are high
and hard to climb.

And the place death,
considering who thou art,

if any of my kinsmen find thee here.

Dani Juliet, my Dani Juliet.

Neither, fair maid,
if either thee dislike.

How camest thou hither, tell me,
and wherefore?

The orchard walls are high
and hard to climb.

And the place death,
considering who thou art,

if any of my kinsmen find thee here.

With love's light wings...

With love's light wings
did I o'erperch these walls.

And what love can do,
that dares love attempt,

therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me.

If they do see thee they will murder thee.

Look thou but sweet.

And I am proof against their enmity.

I would not for the world
they saw thee here.

I have night's cloak
to hide me from their eyes.

And but thou love me,

let them find me here.

By love,
that first did prompt me to inquire.

I am no pilot, yet, wert thou as far

as that vast shore washed
with the farthest sea,

I would adventure for such merchandise.

'Tis almost morning,
I would have thee gone.

Great, good job!

What?

Nothing... Anything?

Nothing either.

I'm cleaning up our room, don't come in.

Don't come in.

Okay.

It's time for the Ocean of Emotion show.

I'm your host, Johnny Ocean.

Are you lonesome tonight?

Call in,

set our emotions
to sail along these radio airwaves.

Our first caller has just called in.

Hello, what is your name?

I'm Fanny.

Fanny, anything you want to
share with us tonight?

I've been with my boyfriend
for about eight years.

I feel that we've lost
that something between us.

Loving feeling?

Yes.

He's an impractical idiot.

He used to have a promising job.

But he never made much effort.

His biggest problem is he's over 30,
yet he still dreams of becoming an actor.

Your boyfriend...

Is he more like Tony Leung
or Takeshi Kaneshiro?

He's not had a promotion
for ten years, you know.

Then I guess it's pretty pointless then.

I don't know if I should stay with him,

if we will have a future together.

If I leave him now, am I being selfish?

Anyone who cares about Fanny,
call in with your advice.

Tell her you care
and what you think she should do next.

Fanny, we have a friend
who truly cares for you on the line.

Your name is?

I'm Dani.

Fanny, I don't think
you're being selfish at all.

You should've dumped this loser
a long time ago.

I support you wholeheartedly.

What's this guy doing wanting to
make it big in movies?

He needs to have a grip on reality.

Mr. Host, I have my own romance problems.

The time now is at the beep,
11:12 p.m. and 48 seconds,

Johnny Ocean? Johnny?

Johnny?

Go to bed.

It's late.

Take 1, shot 1, scene 3,
Lord of the Drains.

Who is it?

Must be the plumber, let me get the door.

You're the legendary Lord of the Drains?

You look more heroic than I imagined.

Show me the clogged pipe.

Lord of the Drains, that one.

It is obviously a lonely pipe.

I see him dealing with the pipe
with all his might,

I exclaim with excitement.

It's full of garbage, who the...

What happened?

He swore in front of the camera.

I cannot get into the scene
with him cussing around.

Of course he cusses, he's a real plumber.

Do you know how hard it was
to find him and cast him?

It's impossible becoming possible.

Come on, you know how hard it is
to shoot a movie nowadays.

It's easier to find a woman
willing to take off her clothes

than an actor willing
to take off his pants on camera.

"Every actor works on
his personal velocity.

And every velocity comes with
its corresponding cadence.

An actor's body is fearless
in facing itself,

facing another actor.

Like flowing water,
it moves left and right."

Dani?

-Hello?
-Man Long,

do you have a minute?

Yeah sure, why?

I really need you right now.

Really need me?

Scene 3, shot 1,take 2,
Lord of the Drains.

Must be the plumber, let me get the door.

Miss, you need plumbing help?

You're the legendary Lord of the Drains?

You look more heroic than I imagined.

Bring me to the clogged pipe.

Okay.

Lord of the Drains, that one.

It is a very lonely pipe.

What now?

Don't worry, I live for pipes like these.

Let me get my tools and I'll deal with it.

Watch me.

Miss, your pipe is really clogged,
has it been a while?

It has been years.

No worries, leave it to me.

I see him dealing with the pipe
with all his might,

I exclaim with excitement.

Miss, my tool is not hard enough,
I'm switching to another one.

Don't worry, I'm almost done,
just have to slip it back in.

Help me out, just hold it tightly.

Great, that was a good take,
move the camera here.

Mr. Plumber, you were great.

I can't believe how well
you knew the lines.

-Thanks.
-Okay, we go real on the next take.

Plumber and the young woman,
I want some eroticism.

Mr. Director,
this is hardly making any sense.

Unclogging pipes, then going for sex,
it makes perfect sense.

I think we need a little foreplay
to make it more logical.

I agree.

This is what audience
spent 50 bucks to see.

Bosco, you said you don't want to lose out
to the Infernal Affairs director.

You should be more demanding
even if it's a softcore porn movie.

Well do you suggest?

I've thought about it already.

I think I need to sing a song first.

Let the plumber relax.

Then we hit the sack,
then it makes more sense.

Good idea!

There's a beautiful girl

Who grew up in a happy family

Her eyes are sparkling

With passion and glory

Affecting everyone's heart

And making them crazy

Oh, my lovely lady

Oh, my innocent beauty

Come sing with me

Come dance with me

Oh, my lovely lady

Oh, my innocent beauty

Come sing and dance with me

I need to clean your pipes now

I'm so relaxed.

Dance is over, right?

Okay, time to go to bed.

I can only do this much artistic scenes.

Come on, we're behind schedule.

I want you to go hard
from the get go, okay?

I have another suggestion.

What is it this time?

Will it work?

What are you doing here?
Go do real plumbing work.

Let me stay awhile.

I'm so happy, never been this happy.

I really love going to class with you.

So, any good?

Really good.

But I want to see the real Dani Dan.

The real Dani's not that pretty.

Dani.

Why did you take the porn actress route?

Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time,
there was a girl called Dani.

She was born into poverty.

She, her dad, and her siblings
lived in the countryside.

She was the eldest, she had to provide
for the younger siblings.

She always dreamed about
eating her favorite dishes.

It's hilarious.

This one time,
she was dreaming about it again.

She could not stop eating.

Then she woke up to find out
she was biting her sister's foot!

When she turned 18,

her dad bought her a train ticket
and a blanket.

He took her to the train station,

pointed at the rails and said,

"Dani, you need to go along this rail
and never look back.

Keep going straight,
don't ever come back."

She boarded the train

and started crying non stop.

She knew that her dad
did not want her to return anymore.

Just keep moving forward.

So, Dani...

kept moving forward.

She has to succeed.

End of story.

Your turn.

My turn?

Your turn to perform.

I'm actually not good at performing.

You're a great performer.

I just overact all the time.

Overact a self intro then.

Okay.

Overact.

First of all, I'm a person.

A person walks, and sleeps.

And will eventually die one day.

But I have so many things.

The first thing I have

is a girlfriend who doesn't really
love me anymore.

Secondly, I have an impossible dream.

Thirdly, I live a life
no one will ever identify with.

In other words, I don't have anything.

But I learned a lesson recently.

How to act like I'm happy...

and how to act like I'm not.

When I'm happy...

and when I'm unhappy...

When I'm happy
and when I'm unhappy

I feel relieved after saying all that.

Me too.

Yeah?

You're really sick, do you know that?

Everyone in this city is sick,
me included.

Let's have breakfast tomorrow.

Sure.

What should we eat?

You decide.

Who was that? Looks really familiar.

A friend, and that guy beside you?

I'm very unhappy.

I'm okay.

I thought you were happy.

You've been taking lessons for a while,
want to put it to a test?

Here's the good news,

the bosses want you
to take part in a mission.

Fantastic news.

Call me stupid,

I want to swap a bowl of beef
with a bowl of mushrooms from you.

Madam, I'd like to know more
about this mission.

-You play a small time crook.
-Okay.

Go into the mahjong parlor.

Someone will leave the third table
from the left, take his place.

Lose a round, then leave.

-That's it?
-That's it.

Hang on, who am I supposed to beat?

What's this case all about?
I need to know more.

Not that I don't want to tell,
that's all I know.

Let me know if it works.

Lose a round, leave immediately,
that's easy.

Luck is not going my way, I'm done.

We know each other,
you don't mind playing with us?

I'm just a small time crook,
why do I care?

Since you don't mind, let's play then!

There you go, call me Fat Long.

Do you know what you're doing?
Shut up and play!

Your manners please,
we don't mind playing with big fishes.

Big brother Long, right?

We're family.

Call me Crazy Sam.

Why are you scared? Do you know me?

Not really.

You don't know who Crazy Sam is?

Oh, really?

Let's play on, I'll leave once we're done.

What?

I've been dealt a really bad hand.

Play on, right?

White tile!

This is just a bad hand, one dot.

Hang on.

These all came from you?

Plus this East wind, brother Sam.

I don't recall.

Brother Long, a fortune teller
once told me...

If I win in bets,
it will bring my whole family bad luck.

Yeah, my boss once told me too.

If I don't win in mahjong,
I'll get hit by a truck.

And if someone I play with

loses deliberately,
I'm going to have even worse luck.

I agree, definitely need to
get hit by a truck.

Play on.

Two Dots.

Damn!

-What?
-I'm pissed.

-Let's take a look.
-No need.

Landslide win!

That means I lost!

Great news, Brother Sam.

Thank you, Long,
you really have the look of a winner.

You got that right.

East.

You're sweating like a pig.

I sweat when I'm about to lose.

You got an allergic rash or something?

I have skin eczema.

Eczema? What's the humidity level now?

The weather observatory says 93% humidity.

No wonder his eczema is acting up.

Wrong, dryness causes eczema.

Yet you're drenched.

Kong!

Kong!

That's a whole lot of coincidence.

West wind.

All right, I'm folding.

This fell out of your pants,
I wonder what it is.

It's a dehumidifier.

Then this must be a vacuum cleaner?

Freeze, you stupid cop.

Don't forget, I own this place.

Brother Sam, I'm just a small time crook.

Stop touching that necklace.

As soon as you did that when you sat,
I knew you weren't one.

Hold this.

To be a small time crook?
You need four musts.

You must have the look.

What's with that hat?
You have a concert later?

What's with that bracelet?
You want to be Elton John?

Second, you must have the grit.

You yap all the time,
I knew you have no moves.

Thirdly, you must have the wit.

You tried to convince me
this was a dehumidifier?

Just proves how idiotic you are.

Lastly, you must have the speed.

Give me back the gun.

I gave him the firearm,
he didn't use it to escape.

Today's your last day on Earth.

Time to check out!

No.

Why do undercover cops
have such crap acting skills?

Why are you here?

My dad owns the Mahjong Parlor.

Why did you rescue me?

We were classmates after all.
I didn't realize you're a...

Don't you say it... You can't.

You owe me a big favor.

The two ground to ground cameras
have been allocated into the budget.

Although the bosses approved...

Hey, you, what's that?

Sir, we raided a whorehouse
and found pirated porn discs.

Should we turn it over to the Customs?

Let's see what they got.

Hollywood films, local movies,
all the latest ones.

The new Dani Dan movie.

Let's take a look.

But you just took your medicine.

That means my heart
is at its strongest now.

Let's watch it quick.

Darn, even pirated copies
are clear as daylight now.

Dani's acting skills
really improved in this one.

The plumber guy's really funny.

He actually looks somewhat familiar.

Don't you guys agree?

I seem to remember
but I can't quite put a finger on it.

Excuse me, the principal asked to see me.

Principal.

Officer Lin, you're here today.

Don't think I like being here.

I asked you to polish your acting skills,
not be a porn actor.

Officer Lin, I had concealed
my true identity from others.

You really think police are idiots?

You think no one will recognize you

disguised as a stupid plumber
romancing some lonely girl?

You're dismissed from this school
as of now.

The principal and myself
are expelling you.

Go back to your desk

and file a detailed report
on how you made the porn film.

Principal.

This is a direct order
from your supervisor, I can't help you.

But jealous souls will not be answered so
they are not ever jealous for the cause,

but jealous for they are jealous.

It is a monster begot upon itself,
born on itself.

Such great dialog.

Wow!

Who is it? The Phantom?

It's me.

-And who are you?
-Man Long Chan.

You were reciting the Bard.

-Who's the Bard?
-The Swan of Avon.

The Swan?

William Shakespeare.

You know the play?

A little bit.

You're the new stage manager?

No.

But I'm in love with acting.

You in love with acting
or you just want to be an actor?

Both, I think.

"O, reason not the need!

Our basest beggars
are in the poorest thing superfluous."

King Lear.

"That night,
I had this very explicit dream.

In it, I'm a chief priest
in Homeric Greece.

I'm wearing a wide gold mask,
all noble and bearded

like the so-called Mask of Agamemnon,
found at Mycenae."

Peter Shaffer's Equus.

"Ah, no! Young blade!
That was a trifle short!

You might have said
at least a hundred things

by varying the tone."

Gascons Cadets! Cyrano de Bergerac.

Thou, nature, art my goddess

to thy law my services are bound.

Wherefore should I stand
in the plague of custom

and permit the curiosity of nations
to deprive me

for that I am some twelve or fourteen
moon-shines lag of a brother?

..."Bastardy", "base", "base"?

Who, in the lusty stealth of nature,
take more composition and fierce quality

than doth, within a dull, stale,
tired bed go to the creating

a whole tribe of fops,
got 'tween a sleep and wake?

I don't know this part.

Blood!

The Red Cross?

It's Othello.

Right, Othello!

You from the Drama School?

Yes.

Finally, someone who's sane.

But I just got kicked out.

That's to be expected.

They're all crazy over there.

The normal ones get expelled.

I've got no place to learn drama now.

You can learn drama anywhere.

Tell you a secret,
all professors are bad actors.

Where should I be learning then?

"Anywhere, anytime...
The world is your school."

Marlon Brando?

Laurence Olivier!

That was great.

Sweep these up for me,
I'll show you something.

Done.

Let's go then.

That's awesome.

The best drama is not performed on stage.

The best drama is performed in real life.

Look over there.

A fight is raging on.

You're an idiot.

Idiot? I'm the best gamer there is.

-Go ask your friend.
-Gaming?

All my friends say you're immature,
it's embarrassing, you know?

Cook me up till I mature then.

How do I cook you to maturity?

Light a fire and cook me up.

Stupid pig,
all you do is play video games.

All you do is hit me.

-Just go!
-That's who I am.

In the world of drama,
reality is meaningless.

We're not anthropologists, we're artists.

Do you know your receding hairline's ugly?
It's affecting me.

-So what?
-So, it's hideous.

I'll go get a weave then.

Hey, I'll go get a hair extension then.

You freak.

What's the matter?
You get hair extensions too.

You're insane, you hit me all the time.

Go get a haircut!

Crazy woman,
hits me on the head all the time.

Crazy woman,
hits me on the head all the time.

By the lamp post, two working girls
smoking around a trash can.

My mom's kidney is failing
and she's asking for one of mine.

You got two anyway,
you can spare one for her.

She was never that kind to me
since I was born.

If I give one to her,

who's gonna give me one
if something happens to mine one day?

What if my boyfriend gets a bad kidney,
who's going to save him?

Just let your mom rot to death then.

Shit, she's my mom after all.

Let me tell you, stop bothering me.

That phone accessory vendor,
she's talking to herself.

I am begging you to give me a break.

How many times do I have to tell you?

Please just let me be.

That's funny.

Is she crazy or something?

She's not crazy,
she's just using bluetooth earphones.

Really?

Sorry, how much is this one?

Ten bucks, don't pick it up
if you're not buying it.

How much?

20 bucks, don't pick it up
if you're not buying it.

This is so cute.
How much is it?

30 bucks.

-Do you want it?
-Crazy, 30 bucks!

You still there?

Just let me be,
how hard do I have to beg of you?

The difference between a nutcase

and an artist,
is the latter is not insane.

Watch this one closely.

It's a masterpiece.

His body language rivals
miming legend Marcel Marceau.

Do you know who that is?

Sophie Marceau's mom?

Sir, for how long?
Let me feed the meter for you.

Now he's becoming a con artist.

Damn, everybody wants to
do it on their own.

And now...

And now he's a depressed individual.

Sense the drastic shifts
in a matter of three minutes?

Which one was real? Which was just a role?

Whichever felt real to him became a role.

When you create an illusion of reality,
it becomes your reality.

We saw a lot of actors, what's the use?

No use, we just observe.

What's the point?

Nothing.

The more you try to dig for meaning,
the less meaningful it becomes.

An emperor asked Buddha,

"What favors do I earn
by building temples?"

Buddha replied, "You earn no favors".

Watch this, hypnosis at work.

Remember, don't use common detergents.
They don't rinse up bubbles.

Bubbles are our friends.
Let me show you.

Just place it right here,
and it sucks on it.

The string is in there for safety.

The bubbles come out naturally
as we move right to left, left to right.

And you have your bubbles just like that.

Hypnotism is hinting
and it basically means,

"Whatever I tell you is the truth."

Now you see me, now you don't.

Now you see me, now you do.

Why do you see me now and not see me then?

Why is it so?

Because this baby is the bomb, how so?

It cleans your window on its own.

Isn't it magical? It is magical.

Just get one each, miss and madams.

How much? 30 bucks each.

But we're on a big sale today, what?

Buy one get one free for 60 bucks,
doesn't get cheaper than that.

Don't you agree, come on pay up.

Just wipe from side to side.

This cleans it even
when you have your window's shut.

Wouldn't we have to open it
to retrieve it?

Let's go to LV.

This is really useful, how much again?

Put it down, let's go shopping.

It was really useful last time.

Don't get conned.

Sorry.

Sorry what?

I'm sorry.

What was it?

-Pick pocket!
-Pick pocket?

I call it sleight of hand.

The highest form of acting is to do it
and never get caught.

What?

I can't find my wallet.

-Your wallet's gone?
-Yes.

What else is missing? Your watch?

Where's the watch?

Everything has gone missing.

I told you so many times
to watch your wallet in Hong Kong.

When did you say that?

I say it all the time.

-Not when we boarded the plane.
-I did.

-Not back in Changchun.
-I sure did.

-Not when we got to Hong Kong.
-I did, you just don't listen.

-Why wouldn't I listen?
-Because you wouldn't.

I lost everything but you're still here.

Why didn't he steal you away too?

You're crossing the line!

Where's your watch?

-Your watch is gone too?
-How many times have I told you.

Guard your wallet in Hong Kong.

You never did.
You didn't say that in Changchun.

Of course I did, you never listen.

You hit me... You jerk!

Try hitting me again.

Here you go.

You hit me?

He's a wife beater.

This jerk came to Hong Kong
to be a wife beater.

I'll hit you too in Changchun.

Get a grip of yourself, you crazy?

Where the...

Bye now, see you tomorrow.

-Bye.
-Yes, remember 12 o'clock tomorrow.

Okay, bye bye.

Judy!

What a coincidence.

He came to pick you up again?

What do you mean "again"?

I came for three consecutive nights,
and you got on his car every time.

I don't want to lie to you, okay?

You weren't like this
when I first met you.

You were ambitious and aggressive.

You used to tell me jokes
all the time, remember?

We were so happy together back then.

Ask yourself though.

Where did all of that go?

We're not young anymore.

You have to know to let go
once you reach a certain point.

I didn't intend to betray...cheat on you.

I hate this situation now.

I could not stand it. But I am a woman.

Truth is we've grown so wide apart.

No use in wasting time and effort
lying to myself.

Look at you.

You're an impractical fool.

You didn't get a raise for ten years
and yet still dreams of being an actor?

You think I cheated on you?

It was only a matter of time.

It's a miracle it took me this long.

A woman has a right to decide
for her own future.

Let's just break up.

You hear me?

I shouldn't have lied to you,

but you know I never wanted
to hurt you, right?

Police, can I see your ID?

Can I help you, sir?

Don't be nervous.

Oh, you're Johnny Ocean
from Ocean of Emotion.

That's right.

Your radio program
helped a lot of relationships.

-I'm just a talker.
-Stop being modest.

Honestly though,
you solved my relationship problem too.

-I did?
-Yes.

This is a no parking zone, though.

Just park ahead
of space area next time, okay?

Roger that!

What did he say to you?

He said not to park
at the no parking zone.

The phone number you called
is currently unavailable.

Please try again later.

The phone number you called
is currently...

-Hello?
-Hi.

Dani Dan please?

Speaking, who's this?

I'm Alan Mak.

Would you be interested in
appearing in a movie of mine?

Hello? Miss Dan?

-Damn.
-Hello.

I'll do it, any role, I'll do it.

Hi, Mr. Director.

You know why I looked for you?

It's all right to be stuck in a bad movie.

But when a patron pays to see a movie,

he knows if you cheated him
out of his money.

Quite a few actresses feel stripping
is all that's needed in a skin flick.

They don't respect themselves.

I give it my all every time.

My new movie, I'm not sure if you mind.

It's different from your past roles,
you need to be dressed.

Sure.

It's the female lead.

Let me tell you about the role first.

Please go ahead.

It all starts in Shanghai 1954.

Do you want to just get that?

I switched it off,
no one's going to bother us now.

Okay, this girl
was born in China's Dongbei.

Her parents took her to Shanghai
when she was three,

then quickly returned to Dongbei.

Remember, in the 60's...

I remember back in the 80's.

Going to Shanghai by train from Guangzhou,

I needed 27 hours and three transits.

Do you have any questions?

Do I need to have dinner
with the producers?

Dinner with the boss?

Not for our movies,
the boss is a busy man.

Brother Pang.

Bounce!

It's been ten years.

Ten years indeed.

Billie, this is my old pal, Bounce.

Hi, Brother Bounce.

He's a pal I met in the Brazilian prison.

He's a tough guy.

Brother Pang is my boss, we're family.

-So what can I do for you?
-Bounce.

Why did I take the fall for the things
we did in Brazil?

Got ten years in prison
just so that you get away?

Because you're a really good guy?

That too, but mostly because I needed you
to bring the cash back.

I almost died in that jail.

Billie, tell him what got me
through the years.

Because you have a dream.

That's right.

I firmly believed that
there will come a time

for me to retrieve
what I lost ten years ago.

I had ten million US dollars,

my blood brother, Bounce,
is safekeeping for me.

We have equal shares in that venture.

If there's only one person
I can trust in the world,

it has to be Bounce!

I want to rebuild my dream
right in this city.

I will call the shots again.

The money...

is it safe?

Safer than Bin Laden.

It's kept in the bank vaults.

I'll get it for you in the morning.

I have a project in planning,
I need some funding.

Tomorrow's a Sunday,
we have to wait till Monday.

Monday it is then.

I have to go to the bathroom.

You fool, trying to scare me to death?

Dad.

I don't care what you've done in the past.

Just return the money to him
but don't go back to your old gang.

That's not the problem, you see.

I don't have the money he thinks I have.

That's a big sum, what happened?

Lot of things happened
in the last ten years

that caused me to lose that money.

Do you have a few thousand dollars
to lend me?

I need to buy a gun and rob a bank.

At least I can stage a gunfight
if the cops come

and answer to Brother Pang.

Is there no way of getting out of this?

You called?

I saved your life once,

I need you to return that favor now.

Wait for me here, I'll get it for you.

Watch out.

Here's our plan.

Monday morning,

Alex's dad will bring
Billie and Pang to the bank.

He'll ask them to wait outside.

We need to fill the bag up with stuff
and have him walk out

and earnestly hand the bag over
to Brother Pang.

Brother Pang,
here's your five million US dollars,

you can check it.

I trust you completely.

You still have to check it,
just to be sure.

This is fine.

I thought about it thoroughly.

Count me out from your big plans.

I'm not the Bounce from before.

I also promised my son
to lead a normal life.

Well, this is it then.

We'll see each other again.

As soon as Bounce leaves,
Felicia will play a pregnant housewife,

holding a similar bag and meet them.

Our little heist scene will then
be in full swing.

He stole my bag! Help! Stop him!

Take this!

It's Dani Dan, snap some shots of her!

Excuse me.

He stole my bag.

Police! Freeze!

It's in their nature,
the second they hear "Police, Freeze!",

Pang and Billie will run like hell.

Then they will bump into
the various characters

played by our drama school classmates,

the perfect bait and switch plan
will be mobilized.

What?

-Where's the Jockey Cricket Club?
-No idea.

-Hey, you.
-Don't touch me.

Hands off, dude.

The Cricket Club's that way, pal.

Let's ask the cops walking over here.

Want to buy some insurance policies?

Sir, want to try our afternoon tea?

No, no.

I couldn't stop them,
they're headed towards the hotel.

Charmaine.

Be careful, come on.

Okay, what else, get going...

My water broke!

I thought I was evil, can't believe
you didn't even save the baby.

-I'm about to give birth.
-Let go.

If you don't let go, I'm punching you.

Punch him.

You're not helping a pregnant lady?

I hate security guards.

Eat shit!

Ken, get well soon.

My bag, Billie.

Hey, my bag.

Sorry, didn't mean to.

Let's get going.

Vivian, your turn.

Sirs, would you kindly
buy a flag for charity?

Do you have small change?

-Change my ass!
-Please be kind.

Really sorry.

Honey...

-Let go.
-I am not your honey.

Give me back my baby!

Such a filthy beggar!

Let go!

Deal with her. I'm a cruel murderer.

Two things I can't stand.

Cockroaches and crazy bitches.

You're mean, just please let go.

I'm begging you please let go.

Let go!

Let's go, the doctor's appointment awaits.

Sorry, gotta go to the doctor's.

You okay? Boss?

-Are they blind?
-They are.

How did it go, Man Long?

We got it, hold this, Dani,
and check it out.

We didn't switch it.

What now?

-Oh, no.
-Where did we go wrong?

-There's one more thing.
-What?

Let's do it over.

It's too late.

I won't have time to redo my make-up.

Why don't we do this.

We know clearly what that bag holds.

We'll go to them
and accuse them of stealing.

Call the fat lady.

Which fat lady?

She's not that fat.

Is this the emergency line? Yes.

My bag got snatched.

Please come save me.

Don't ask my name,
just know that I got robbed.

I'm at the East TST Roman Forums,
come over quick.

No...

Not in Rome, in TST East.

I'm in pink, I'm a pretty pink lady.

Come over quick.

Sir, over here,
I know what the robbers were wearing.

I have a photographic memory.

-It's them all right.
-Freeze.

Freeze.

-Yes, officer?
-Face the wall.

Officers, it is them.
They snatched my bag.

What proof do you have this was yours?

-Get the bag.
-Check it out.

What's in the bag?

Five million US dollars, in cash.

What? There's a US $100 bill.

A pair of black stockings,
a garter string,

and a white girdle.

You know what girdles are for?
It's for body shaping.

It's mine.

There's also a camouflaged teddy bear
I bought from an online auction.

-Okay.
-Officer, have you tried web auctions?

-Match?
-Perfect match.

There was clearly
five million US dollars in it.

Too early for dreaming.

We're arresting you now
on the count of robbery.

-You two are being arrested.
-Officers.

You have the right to remain silent.

-Where's the woman?
-She left.

Then we can go now, right?

You think I'm stupid?

You two are going to jail,
we're just one witness short.

Back to the precinct with us,
call the squad car.

Constable 6755 is calling out...

Boss, something is not right.

Our bag got switched maybe?

Impossible,
when Bounce handed you the bag,

I remember seeing that white thread
at the zipper.

I picked up the bag immediately,
I didn't let it leave my sight.

You mean...

If there's only one person you can trust,

it's me.

Police, freeze.

Boss.

Take the gun and find Bounce,
leave this to me.

I was hoping we'd just
switch the bags out.

Now they got arrested.

I feel bad.

Sorry, uncle, we had no choice.

Yeah.

You sure took your time
to buy take out dinners.

I remember you said you have a son.

Too bad you have the same hairstyle.

He...he's not my son.

Dad!

You guys didn't have to shout
at the same time.

Brother Pang, I'll come clean.

I invested the ten million dollars we had
on real estate.

Not only did I lose all of it,
I'm one million bucks in debt now.

It's all gone.

Impossible!

Did you know Hong Kong had
a Chief Executive called Tung Cheewah?

You're lying, I've checked.

The Chief Exec now is Donald Tsang,
and the real estate is booming.

This is all my doing.

Leave my son alone.

Let him go,
I will repay you with my own life.

Dad! I'm going to kill you!

The gun is fake, don't do it.

Anybody hurt?

Police! Freeze, drop the gun.

Please be all right.

Freeze, drop the gun.

Man Long, please don't die.

I'm fine.

Why are you crying?

I...thought...

Let me do this first.

-Officer Lin.
-Hey.

That guy's quite the goon,
attacking an officer and snatching a gun.

We came as soon as we heard.

Sir, this was found on the suspect.

Looks like a map to a bank vault.

Looks like? It already says
HSBC on this, stupid.

Read next time not just look at pictures.

Man Long, congratulations,
this is your ticket to a promotion.

Why are you holding your belly,
you not well?

I...got shot...

But I don't want my friends
to worry about me.

You're a good driver,
can you take me to the hospital?

Get in the car.

-Man Long...
-Man Long...

You all right, lady?

Just a flesh wound.

Dad.

One year later

The Hong Kong Film Academy
Best Actress trophy goes to

first time nominee and former sex bomb,
Dani Dan.

Her performance in the movie
was impeccable.

Director Alan Mak also won Best Screenplay
and Director awards with the same movie.

Dani expressed surprise at the win

but thanked the director profusely
for the opportunity.

Here's a clip of her acceptance speech.

I want to thank my family

and a dear friend of mine.

A friend who is passionate about acting.

A guy who does his best
even when playing a plumber in a sex film.

Man Long Chan, I thank you.

I am your biggest fan.

And one day you will also win.

This is pretty heavy.

Practice your acceptance speech,
won't you?

I...

Finally realized that one is happiest

not when he executes a role in a movie
to perfection.

The hardest role one can ever play
in this world...

is himself.

I have promised my good friend, Dani Dan,

that, like her, I will do my very best

and play myself well each and every day.

Thank you, my dear classmate, Dani.

Thank you.

Hey, you, where is Man Long Chan?
Did you page him?

He's on his way...

Reporters are waiting for me.

He's here, madam.

Thanks for coming over.

Can you see if my speech is all right?

"I'm pleased that with the arrest
of the drug lord, Crazy Sam,

undercover officers who died in his hands
will now rest in peace."

You may want to use a little more empathy.

"I'm pleased that with the arrest
of the drug lord Crazy Sam,

undercover officers who died in his hands
will now rest in peace."

That was obviously fake.

This is hard.

Why don't you try and picture this.

The officers we lost before
are now in heaven,

resting atop fluffy clouds.

Their family and loved ones
are looking at you.

Okay, I got it.

I'm pleased that with the arrest
of the drug lord Crazy Sam,

undercover officers who died in his hands
will now rest in peace.

It lacked momentum.

Practice this for now.

Peter Piper picked
a peck of pickled pepper.

Peter Pickle pipered a pepper...

-Peter Piper.
-Peter Piper.

Picked a peck of pickled pepper.

Peter Piper picked
a peck of pickled pepper!

Do my glasses look okay?

Looks cute on you.

Thanks.

Officer Chan.

I need to play a small time crook.

They asked me to come get your advice.

You look too good to be a small time goon.

Although I remember someone once told me,

there are four musts in
the role of a small time crook.

First, characterization.

Acting is making bold assumptions,
and careful confirmations.

The look of it is very crucial.

If you wear heavy gold chains
to play an underworld goon,

that's making cowardly assumptions,
and careless confirmation.

Second, action.

Acting is not just using words,
you need body language.

With every action, there's a reaction.

Third, imagination.

Everything within the realms of logic.

Calling a bug mike a dehumidifier

is clearly defying the laws of logic.

And lastly, improvisation.

The only thing constant is change,
all things are possible in acting.

In other words, be quick on your feet.

Understand?

Yes, thank you, sir.

Hey, in a hurry?

Let's do some basic drills.

Okay...

Constable 747 late for reporting,
sorry, sir.

You look familiar.

I won the outstanding performance award

at the annual dinner party last night.

I really love acting.

What is the most important thing
in acting?

First thing, cool down a little.

Let me go and stand aside.

Remember, acting is like everyday life.

You have to find who you are first.

That means, knowing your strengths,

but more importantly,
recognizing your weaknesses too.

Weakness here means bad habits.

Remember, these things
don't easily fade away.

So you have to learn to accept yourself,

know that you're imperfect.

But cherish every opportunity
you get to perform.

So cherish every chance you act on stage
and in life.

Understand?