Silent Rose (2020) - full transcript

}[Shatira]
I'm gonna tell you this story.

}And this is why I came,
so, like,

}one with myself.

}So I really honestly do feel

}like one with the universe,
like, I feel like

}I'm more than just

}a brain that's functioning

}with all these organs,
and, like...

}You know, it's really crazy,

}sometimes I feel like I'm...

}[laughs] I can hear my blood,
like, rushing through my body.



}It's really, like,
if you really sit there

}and, like, silent,
you can like...

}you can hear it sometimes.

}[school bell]

}[indistinct conversations]

}[Karen]
Hey guys, how's it going?

}Uh, I am Ms. Karen.

}I'm going to be taking over
for Mr. Vernon.

}Um, and obviously
this is my first day.

}It's not yours,
you've been in school

}with each other for a long time.

}So, yeah,
we're not gonna be very formal.

}You just call me Ms. Karen.

}Um... so that's... that's cool,
I hope, with everybody.



}And I have no idea who you are,
and you have no idea who I am.

}So I'm gonna pass out
some little cards right now

}and if you could pull out,
like a pencil,

}or a pen or something...

}So just take like five minutes
and fill out for me

}just a little brief synopsis
of who you think you are.

}Anybody seen
The Breakfast Club?

}Anybody? Anybody?

}[Shatira] I don't know.

}I don't really wanna know
who I am.

}I just wanna be... be.

}[laughs] I just wanna be.

}Can I just be?
Do I have to define myself?

}[electronic music]

}I do say I'm a photographer.

}I mean, I don't know.

}[stutters]
I say I like taking photos.

}[laughs]
I will say I love photography.

}So, like, I can't...
I haven't found my...

}I haven't found
my thing yet, but...

}I will.

}Eventually.

}[Mitch] What is it

}that you wanna say
with photography?

}Like, why is that
interesting to you?

}I don't know. I just...

}[sighs] I don't know.

}Man, I don't know.

}I just... [laughs]

}[Mitch] "You gonna stop
with the fucking questions?"

}No, it's 'cause, like,
everybody always asks me that.

}And I'm just, like,
I really wish I could tell you.

}But sometimes I just like to
fucking pick up a camera

}and just take a picture.

}Is that not enough? Like...

}[tapping on keyboard]

}And then I just started to say,

}"This year
we will be documenting

}our school's environment
and the process we undergo

}as we open our arms
to new students

}from across the district.

}While it's important not to feel

}that you are acting
for the camera,

}they are interested
in your authentic selves.

}I know that you
will do your best

}to make a good impression

}and represent our school...

}faithfully."

}'Cause the goal is not to...

}turn everyone's attention
to the new students,

}um, and understand
that they are all

}here because they're diverse.

}[Mitch] How do you think
it's gonna go?

}I think it's gonna go great.

}[electronic music]

}[guard] I think everybody
kinda sees a security guard

}uh, in whatever capacity,

}in an office building,
in a school,

}as somebody who's
just doing a job.

}Oh, they're probably, you know,

}"They didn't make it
in law enforcement,"

}or, "They just need to make
a few bucks

}and they don't
take it seriously."

}But what if you're a person

}who does take it
extremely seriously?

}Whoa, whoa, whoa.

}We don't do that here.

}Put them away.

}[upbeat electronic music]

}We're getting filmed.

}[rap beat]

}♪ Imma pull up in this swoop ♪

}♪ Then you're gonna dive
In my pool, yeah ♪

}♪ I just been working on you ♪

}♪ You just been working
On me, yeah ♪

}[music ends abruptly]

}You wasn't supposed to cut off,
'cause I still gotta sing it.

}Gotta sing it through.

}-You sound hesitated.
-[Marquel] Just doing it.

}You sound hesitated as hell.

}'Cause I am hesitating as hell,

}there's a big-ass camera
in my face. [chuckles]

}You supposed to act
like it's not there.

}[muffled rap music]

}[friend] I wanna hear
the [unintelligible].

}[rap song playback]

}-Hold up.
-[music ends abruptly]

}-Huh?
-[woman] There will be lessons.

}And they hear everything.

}All right, we'll turn it down.

}-[woman] How can they hear?
-Oh my God.

}-[mumbles]
-Yes, ma'am, we got it.

}[background chatter]

}[Marquel]
So when I don't have my keys,

}this is what I do,
this is, like,

}we came up with this plan.

}[rap music]

}She up there?

}Hey Gram.

}[keys clink]

}Easiest way to get in.

}This floor full of old people.

}That floor full of potheads
and my grandma.

}[Marquel indistinct]

}This is Mitch, he's filming me.

}-This is my grandma.
-How are you?

}-Good, how're you doing?
-[Mitch] I'm fine.

}So what you been doing?

}Uh, working, school.

}[grandma] So what you all got,
a class project?

}Uh, no.
He's actually making a movie,

}like a legit movie,
you know how that goes, so...

}[grandma] Are you?

}[Mitch] Describe
your relationship with Shatira.

}Uh, why did you hit me
with that question?

}I don't know.

}It's just, like,
we've liked each other

}back and forth, like,

}sixth, seventh
and eighth grade and stuff.

}And every time I would
ask her out as a girlfriend,

}she'd play me and be like,
"Oh yeah, we can date."

}And then she would say no,
and it would irritate me,

}and then she's played me
multiple times, but...

}Honestly, like, that's somebody,
like, you can trust.

}Like, for sure,
I'll say that,

}like, I know for a fact
that I can trust her.

}If I, like, needed advice
or to go to her for something,

}like, that's like, she's a...

}She's a good person,
she has a good, like, soul.

}-[Mitch] Yeah.
-For sure.

}[Mitch] Like, how else
would you describe her?

}Awesome.

}Like, uh...

}intriguing...

}I don’t know.

}There's a lot
of beautiful people

}that are, like, really honest,
and she's one of them.

}So I'd say that...

}All right, Grandma,
I'll see you later.

}[grandma indistinct]

}...peppermint
from the dollar store.

}-Want me to grab you some?
-Okay. Huh?

}-Want me to grab you something?
-No.

}-I like the puffs.
-[sighs]

}They're called puffs.

}-Thanks, I'll see you later.
-[grandma] Okay sweetie.

}-I'll catch up with you.
-[Marquel] We will.

}[grandma] All right.

}[Robert] Can we get two chais
and a hookah?

}-Two chai?
-[Robert] Yeah.

}-What size?
-[Robert] Medium.

}-And a hookah?.
-[Shatira] Yes please.

}[Shatira] She was like,
"Don't let them take pictures

}of you smoking hookah.

}You'll get us in trouble."
[chuckles]

}She's tripping.

}[Robert] Why don't you
sip your coffee?

}-It's not coffee.
-[Robert] Mind your business.

}It's not coffee.

}Don't say it's coffee,
it's not coffee.

}[Mitch] Who's Robert?

}[Shatira]
Robert is my boyfriend,

}um, and we've been together
for three years.

}I love him,
and I care about him.

}And I don't understand

}why it's so hard to be
with somebody like yourself.

}So, we're both complicated
in our own ways.

}[Shatira chuckles]
Today was my day.

}-Yes.
-Yeah.

}Uh, yeah,
it was a little bit rough.

}[chuckles]

}It started with Marquel.

}He drives me nuts.

}No, no. I...

}Just Marquel in general, like,
relationships, friendships,

}people in general have been
irritating me a lot lately.

}I'll be honest,

}[stutters] in the beginning
of the relationship,

}I used to be super,
really, really jealous

}and now I just kinda,
just, like, let it go,

}'cause I just know
she's gonna be with me

}at the end of the day, so...

}it's nothing, really,
to worry about.

}[Shatira] I don't think
I've necessarily lied to Robert.

}But I've... I don't feel like

}I've always been...

}like, myself...

}Like, hon... like, not honest,

}but like myself, I guess?
So, like...

}hiding what I feel,
if that counts as lying,

}but, like...

}[sighs]

}Tired of...

}feeling. [laughs]

}So, you know the alley

}that all the kids walk down?

}Somebody wrote that
one time, and I was like,

}"Oh yep, mood."

}So... [chuckles]

}Kinda just took a picture of it.

}[Karen] All right, guys.

}If you need a couple
more minutes, that's okay,

}you can go ahead and take it.
For those of you that are done,

}can you come and turn in
your papers?

}And also,
you may grab your phones.

}I'm sorry for taking them away.

}I'm a little grumpy today.

}To make up for it,
why don't you guys just, uh...

}have some free time
to yourselves. Cool?

}[students] Yeah. Yeah.

}Cool.

}So how many weeks can I expect

}testing to be?

}It changes
on a yearly basis for us.

}I don't know if we could give
a finite amount of time.

}[teacher] We couldn't do
any test preparation

}for the tests last year,
'cause nobody knew

}what was on the tests,
we had no idea.

}When he said it took
six weeks of instructional time

}he's talking about
it actually, literally,

}took six weeks
of instructional time,

}six weeks of classroom time

}for the kids
just to take the tests.

}It's been, for me,
the big disappointment

}of the Obama administration,

}has been what a disaster
education's been.

}And I don't know any teachers,

}or really anybody
who feel differently than that,

}-and it pisses me off.
-[Shatira] Hi.

}-I'm sorry.
-[teacher] That's okay.

}Go ahead. No, no, come on in.

}-[teacher 2] It's totally fine.
-[Karen] How are you?

}-[Shatira] Good, how are you?
-I'm doing good.

}-[Shatira] I'm tired today.
-You're tired?

}-[Shatira] Yes.
-It's Friday.

}-[Shatira] I know.
-[Karen] That helps.

}How are your grades?

}-My grades are good.
-Yeah?

}Yeah.

}-Okay.
-They're fine.

}-It's fine.
-And are you...

}How are you feeling
about this school?

}I'm ready to go.

}-You're ready to go?
-I'm ready to leave.

}[Shatira] I just feel like

}there's this thing
on Facebook where it's

}look back at all your memories.

}And I made this status where...

}um, I was like...
What did I say?

}I was like...

}I just walked up to a group

}of predominantly white kids,

}and I asked them if they knew
who Trayvon Martin was,

}and, um...

}They said no.

}I asked them
if they knew anything

}about police brutality,
and they said no.

}And so I just...

}-I don't know.
-Huh.

}[Shatira] It's becoming harder
to talk about.

}Not much has changed.

}[Shatira]
Not much has evolved, at all.

}Yeah. What if...

}what if I were to give
you and Marquel

}an opportunity

}to lead, in the classroom
together, around race?

}-[Shatira] I think it would be--
-Race relations.

}[Shatira] It would be powerful,
especially because we did start

}the walkout together
last year...

}-Right. That's right.
-...when Trayvon was shot.

}[Karen] Do you think Marquel
would be interested, too?

}-[Shatira] He would love it.
-Getting together, and...

}-[Shatira] He would love it.
-...come up with a lesson plan.

}[Shatira] He would literally
be in love this.

}And I'm gonna need you

}to speak up
and lead the class, too.

}-All the time.
-[Marquel] I don't think this...

}I mean, yeah,
it's worth it, but...

}For why? Why even
start it now, because...

}What, in ten years
we'll be having

}the same conversation.
Shit won't change.

}But we could change it
in this community.

}I don't want my whole high
school experience to be like...

}I was appropriated
the whole time,

}just squished, just condensed

}into this tiny little box
of stereotypes

}and being this one person

}that all these white people
know me to be.

}I want people to know,
'cause if we give

}this small amount
of people knowledge,

}we could do that everywhere.

}Like, imagine that, like,
literally imagine that.

}That'd be amazing.
That'd be so great.

}All these people know
that we are all the same inside.

}I hear so many people of color
beg to be seen

}and beg to be known,
and beg to be heard.

}But it took him
so much convincing

}even though he wanted that.

}You know, I was down for it.

}I was ready, especially, like,
the whole election going on.

}I was ready to talk about it

}with people, and, um...

}He was just really hesitant,
because he didn't...

}I guess he maybe felt like

}he didn't have to explain
himself to people.

}And you don't.

}[Mitch] Is there much censorship
on the computers here?

}There's like... yeah.

}Yeah. Like, if I wanna do
something like this,

}I could go, uh...

}Maybe you like cooking,
maybe I wanna find

}a nice duck breast
recipe, right?

}Maybe I got some duck breast,
I wanna cook that.

}Oh, look, pan-roasted
duck breast at Food Network.

}Oh, no. It's blocked.

}"Pan-roasted duck breast"
is blocked

}because keyword "breast",
you know?

}'Cause that makes sense.

}But if I go to, like,
a different website, like...

}World War One guns,

}sometimes it's blocked "guns,"
sometimes it isn't, you know?

}[scoffs]

}The majority of the teachers
are liberal

}and the majority
of the students are liberal,

}but we have teachers
that are openly conservative

}and students
that are openly conservative,

}so I feel like,
ratio-wise, it's right.

}They also sort of feel attacked

}by being surrounded
by so many liberal people,

}so they get sort of aggressive
with their conservativeness,

}and sort of alt-right with it,

}which then makes the liberals
get even more mad at them,

}if that makes sense.

}Oh my God!

}She emailed me,

}and was like,
"I think you'll like this,"

}and I was like, "Oh God..."

}[man] Because kids
have always been miscreants

}and juvenile delinquents,
and they've been truant,

}and there's been
fights in schools,

}and other problems,
we've had violence in schools

}throughout... as far back
as we've had schools.

}I'd read a story many years ago,

}I can't remember the magazine,

}but they're interviewing
a young school teacher

}up in a part of Alaska
that had Kodiak bears.

}Biggest bear, mammal,
on the planet.

}I mean, monsters.

}And she had this little
one room schoolhouse.

}And she said

}we're in bear country,
we know it, they're vicious.

}So when they go out...
They said to go on recess,

}every day
there are four students

}that are assigned a task:

}one faces north,
one faces south,

}one faces east, one faces west.

}They don't participate
in recess,

}they simply watch the trees
and the surrounding area.

}If they see a bear,
they say there's a bear,

}they get the kids
inside the school.

}And, uh, the comment was,
well, what if the bear gets in?

}And she had this closet

}with a large caliber rifle
in it,

}and she said,
"If the bear gets in,

}-that's what I do."
-That's the solution.

}[man] What we need to think
about in our society

}and in America overall

}is what do you do
when the bear gets in?

}[guard] Right.

}[Diego] Take a shot.

}[chanting]

}I kinda have to pee.

}-Let's go.
-Dammit.

}You always gotta pee.

}He always gotta pee.

}-He's like, I have to pee.
-No, you don't.

}-Hold it.
-Hold it.

}Yo, I thought you were gnarly.

}Yeah, but I'm not
about to piss on myself.

}Just hold it.

}So, apparently
my parents don't like it

}when I go out...

}-So...
-...of the house at night...

}-Free Bateman.
-...and get back in the morning.

}-This is like the symbol for it.
-I hate it.

}So, like, "free Bateman,"
it's like that.

}Now I'm in trouble.

}I'm on house arrest,
I can't go anywhere.

}[Marquel] Quesadilla.

}[Diego] Cooking in the kitchen.

}-That's so much better.
-[Diego] Is it?

}That's so much better.

}Yo, it's just the way it hits,
it's so much better.

}But I, like, wasn't laughing.

}That's how you know
it was serious.

}-[Diego] Yeah, you were.
-Not when Shatira's crying.

}I was like, shit,
what should I do?

}You probably
should have stayed away

}just a little bit longer

}till she fucking broke up
with that dude.

}Because you know there'll be
some fucking beef there.

}-[Marquel] I don't--
-Now it's like,

}I think that you should
fucking go up to her

}which, I think you already have,
it's just...

}Tell her, like,
"Oh, you know,

}let's just be on good terms."

}Like, it's not worth, like,
you guys having this little beef

}where we're in the same room.

}-Not even--
-[Diego] Literally don't even

}let her talk, just tell her,
just be like, okay...

}-You can't do that.
-[Diego] "We are good."

}[Diego] Yes, you can.

}Just fucking say, "We are good.

}There's no beef.

}I just don't wanna
fucking fight you anymore.

}You're right, I'm wrong,
who fucking cares?

}-Let's just be done."
-But...

}I'm not arguing,
I'm probably gonna do that.

}Okay?

}-[Diego] You should do that.
-You don't know.

}Like, there's history
more than just, like, this year.

}[Diego] You like her?

}-Yeah, you do like her.
-Yeah, I have, I have.

}-And she likes you, too.
-[Mitch] Why not be together?

}[Diego]
Because she has a boyfriend.

}She has a crazy-ass
fucking boyfriend.

}You guys like each other.
I don't know why

}she doesn't just drop Robert

}and you guys just fucking
be together.

}I don't get that.

}[smooth electronic music]

}[Shatira] There's a bunny.

}[Shatira]
I did contemplate a lot

}that we were not gonna end up

}being together
after senior year.

}[Mitch]
What's up with you and Robert?

}Just still friends.

}I mean, we still hang out a lot,

}'cause it's kinda, like,
hard to break up

}after three years,
and be like, "Okay, bye!

}Adios. You were
never part of my life."

}So...

}yeah, we still hang out a lot,
but not as much anymore.

}-[Marquel] What's up, Shatira?
-Hello.

}You interrupted my interview.

}[unintelligible]

}[Shatira chuckles]
Yeah, you do.

}You tend to do that a lot.

}-[Marquel] Are you mic'd?
-Uh-huh.

}[Marquel] Are we gonna talk?

}Talk about what? [chuckles]

}-[Marquel] Are we gonna talk?
-No.

}I was in the middle
of an interview

}-and you just kinda rolled up.
-[Marquel indistinct]

}-What?
-You know what I mean, though.

}Oh, got you. Yeah, I guess.

}Oh, God, Jesus.

}He's more stressful
than Robert is.

}[Mitch] Are you attracted
to him at all?

}Oh God. [laughs]

}I was not expecting
that question!

}I mean, I find him attractive,

}and I was going to pursue him
in a relationship

}but he done fucked that up.

}So... [laughs]

}[Mitch] Are you nervous
about today at all?

}Yes, because
I'm scared I'm, like...

}I don't know.
I don't keep up to date

}on current events,
'cause I don't have cable,

}so, like,
I don't watch news or anything,

}and I only see, like, news
on Facebook and stuff like that,

}and then half the time
it's, like, fake. So...

}Uh...

}Current events...

}Let's ask Siri.

}What are some
racial current events

}going on
in the United States right now?

}'Cause we're not... [laughs]

}Let me think about that.

}American Civil Liberties Union

}American crime event analysis,

}racial profiling.
Oh, I got this.

}Let's go.

}[background chatter]

}[Karen] All right,
welcome, welcome, everybody.

}[Marquel] Yo.

}[Karen] How's it goin'?

}-[Marquel] What up?
-[Shatira] Good.

}-[Karen] Public speaking.
-[Marquel] I know.

}-Um, Marquel, Shatira.
-[Marquel] Yeah?

}[Karen] Class is yours.

}[Marquel] All right, y'all.

}[Shatira indistinct]

}[Marquel] Obviously I'm the only
black student in this class,

}so we about to do
something today.

}-Okay, well, let's not start...
-Um...

}...the conversation like that.

}We're gonna talk about race.

}And I know a lot of y'all
are uncomfortable about it,

}so, let's conversate.

}What's going on
in this school right now?

}Nobody?

}Nobody.

}Don't raise your hands,
just talk.

}Conversate.

}[student] Um...

}I think that's a pretty
hard question to ask.

}-Why?
-[student] Just 'cause, I mean,

}It's not like
we're not gonna say anything

}if we see a racist act,

}or, like, if the conversation
comes up,

}but I think why most people
didn't raise their hand

}was because
maybe it's not, like,

}it's not something
we're just talking about,

}which it should be,
but it's just, it's--

}-[Marquel] Right.
-Yeah.

}[Shatira] Um...

}How do you guys feel
about one specific teacher,

}you might know
who I'm talking about,

}who isn't supposed to share
their political views with us,

}but she is Republican and she
is voting for Donald Trump.

}I feel like
you can't really get mad at her

}when there's another teacher
who's got a poster of Obama

}on his wall, it's like,
you can't have it both ways.

}You can't be like,
it's okay if you agree with me,

}and it's not okay if you
don't agree with me,

}you know what I'm saying?

}[Marquel]
Your phone keeps buzzing...

}[whispers] This is kind of
a little side conversation

}that is happening.

}You guys are about to get back
into your test prepping?

}Not today.

}Marquel and Shatira,

}they lead the class today.

}-[Marquel] That's racism, dude.
-[student] How?

}[Marquel] That is... yo.

}-Ms. Karen.
-[Karen] Yes?

}You see what they be sending
in your class?

}You don't want to see? Look.

}Actually, cellphones
need to get put away.

}Why aren't you guys getting
ready for your test next week?

}Ms. Karen,
I do suggest you go ahead

}and get the ball rolling
on test preparation.

}-[Marquel I have a suggestion--
-[principal] I'd love to--

}-Marquel.
-[principal] You know what?

}-I appreciate your suggestion.
-[principal] Marquel?

}Let me tell you something.

}Either you can come
and talk to me after school

}of your own volition

}because you wanna have
dialogue about this,

}or I can make sure you come
and see me after school.

}Do you understand
the difference?

}-I understand the difference.
-[principal] That's enough.

}I'd really love to talk
to you after class.

}-[Karen] Absolutely.
-Thanks everybody.

}[Shatira] I was upset
that the principal

}kinda came in and fucked up
the whole conversation.

}But there was some...

}tension between me and Marquel,
because we didn't really know

}what we were gonna
end up being, or...

}what was gonna happen...

}I'm here! So go ahead

}-and say what you gotta say.
-[Marquel] You got the floor.

}-You got the floor.
-[Shatira] Why do I have it?

}[Marquel] I told you
it was going off-target.

}[Shatira] You were the one
that came to me first.

}-[Marquel] No. No.
-It was like, "Let's talk."

}I thought
what happened was real,

}but apparently you don't.

}I just wanna be
on good terms, that's all.

}That's all.

}Well, Marquel, I don't know what
else you want me to tell you.

}Like, I really don't, like,

}I'm tired of receiving messages
talking about, oh, fuck you.

}Basically, in all context.

}I am, 'cause
that breaks my heart, a lot.

}Every time.

}You really think this is just

}about you being
the one broken-hearted?

}I'm not saying I didn't fuck up.

}I said that
just the other night.

}I said that last night, in fact.

}-You did?
-Yeah, I know I did.

}-You did?
-So you want me to apologize?

}-That's what you want?
-That's what I said.

}Okay. I'm sorry.

}I apologize for everything
that I've done to you.

}Like I say, you're not
even gonna accept it

}-or think it's real anyway.
-I said okay.

}You didn't say okay,
you looked away.

}I said okay.

}[chuckles]

}-Damn, he heard it.
-Jesus.

}[melancholic music]

}Oh. Hi! [laughs]

}I didn't recognize you.

}-How are you?
-I'm good, how are you?

}I'm good.

}[Shatira] I have
only ever really had

}like a good relationship
with one teacher

}and I still failed their class.

}But... [chuckles]

}She also had, like,

}the same personality
as Ms. Karen.

}So...

}In class, Marquel sort of,
like, steamrolled you.

}-Dude?
-Yeah.

}-Okay.
-[laughs]

}And what about that?

}Um, well, Marquel's stupid.

}-What do you mean by that?
-[laughs]

}When he said that he was
the only African-American

}in that class, like...

}I was a little dumbfounded,
and I was like, me, too.

}It kinda caught me off-guard,
'cause I was like...

}They would push you in a way
that wasn't babying, like,

}They'd be like,
"Oh no, you got this."

}Like, "What are you doing?
You know you're messing up."

}And I know I need
somebody that's gonna be, like,

}"Tighten the fuck up
and get your shit done."

}You know?
I feel like it's because

}that's how my mom was with me.

}What's your favorite
sweet thing to eat?

}-Favorite sweet thing to eat?
-Yeah...

}-Favorite.
-Okay. Well...

}-Here's the crazy thing.
-Okay.

}So I don't really
like eating chocolate.

}-Oh.
-It's not like...

}It hasn't been a thing for me
for a long time.

}-Who are you?
-I know.

}I know. [laughs]

}-It's kinda crazy.
-[Karen] Are you human?

}[Shatira] 'Cause my mom's
like a chocoholic.

}-[Karen] Chocolate's amazing.
-[Shatira] Yeah.

}[grunting]

}[grunts]

}[guard] What if you actually
really cared,

}and, you know, you've taken
that responsibility on

}to the point where

}if someone of these kids
gets injured or hurt,

}or, God forbid,
killed in the school,

}then I didn't take
every action possible

}to protect them.

}Whatever the case may be, um...

}It's on my back.

}[ambient music]

}I mean,

}I think there is
at least a metaphor

}in the lifting thing
of you've gotta take it

}a little bit further

}if you are going to be
that protector.

}What are you gonna do?
Just have a cellphone, call 911,

}wait with everyone else

}if something bad happens,
you know?

}[exhales sharply]

}[dogs whining]

}So there it is.

}I can open it up.

}And it is...

}an unloaded firearm.

}Glock 19 nine millimeter.

}[Mitch] And have you ever
had to use it?

}Had to use it? No. No.

}Never. No. Thank God, no.

}[Mitch] I mean,
what would be a scenario

}where you would potentially
foresee using it?

}[sighs]

}Um...

}How many times do we need to see

}these kind of things
happen around the world

}to know that
the threat is there?

}And I mean,
if you do have opposing groups,

}somebody who would
take on the role

}of defending or protecting
a group of people,

}it would be nice to be able
to be that person.

}I don't know if it's
a completely narcissistic thing,

}but it would be nice to think

}that your intention worked.
And you know what I mean?

}[video]
Government was responsible

}for protecting the citizens'
right to liberty,

}but Muhammad Ali
brought attention to the failure

}that the government
hadn't protected those rights.

}Muhammad Ali is a bold icon

}that continues to be
influential everywhere.

}This was the draft of a legend.

}[electronic beat]

}That was awesome.

}Thank you.

}-Thanks for showing it to me.
-We tried.

}Yeah, there is a reason
why I had to show you that.

}I just want to, like,

}so you could understand
where I was coming from

}and why I got upset.

}It kinda... It doesn't...
Of course, I didn't get drafted,

}but it gives some context

}and where I get inspired from,

}and, like, why that upsets me
the way she reacted.

}-Like, come on.
-It upset me too.

}Like, let's be clear about that.

}-That it really upset me too.
-Yeah. Yeah.

}That she shut you down
in that way.

}Yeah, respect
is one of the number one things

}my dad taught me.

}[Karen] Did you feel
respected by Ms. G?

}Oh hell no.
I felt like she was...

}I felt she looked at me
and was like,

}this little ant
needs to sit down, so...

}I don't know.

}The outcome
of what that situation should be

}is like, literally,
she should be listening,

}'cause you don't want
to mute a voice

}that actually has
something to say.

}I think
you need to tell her that.

}Yeah, I agree. I think--

}And I think
if you admire Muhammad Ali

}for sticking up
for his rights and his beliefs,

}and going to jail for it...

}Marquel, you're not going
to go to jail for this.

}-You know?
-[Marquel] You've got a point.

}Hey, but...
Yeah, I know that, but...

}Like, when I first find out
something, I’m obviously...

}too pissed off

}-to even talk about it.
-[Shatira] Yeah.

}That's why I'm saying, like,

}it takes me a couple of hours
to calm down

}to just figure out
what I want to say and, then...

}Yeah, so it's not like
a big mess, like--

}But you never do say
what you need to say, like,

}you just sit there. [giggling]

}Sometimes I just sit there

}because I feel like
you'll get defensive

}about it, and, like...

}I mean... I...

}Yeah, it does irritate me
that you get defensive

}over him, because...

}I’m pretty sure
I've done so much more for you

}than him, and...

}I never deny that.
I never ever deny that.

}I just don't want to see you
fall in love with somebody else.

}That'll hurt me too much,
so I’ll be like, nah,

}I’m done with this,
fuck this shit.

}I just don't wanna...
You get what I’m saying.

}Wow.

}You know...

}You just up and leave?

}I mean, wouldn't you?
Like, say we were single--

}[Shatira] But when I was talking
to Marquel

}you didn't leave.

}Okay, that's because
I had this feeling.

}-[Shatira scoffs]
-That shit would not...

}[Shatira] Well, obviously shit
would not work, but--

}-Exactly.
-[Shatira] The key

}to loving somebody
is forgiveness.

}-[Robert] Exactly, and that's--
-[Shatira] And you forgive...

}no matter what.

}[Shatira] Grasshopper, dude,
I got all the...

}That's not a grasshopper,
that was a leaf.

}[knocking]

}-[principal] Hey!
-[Marquel] How are you doing?

}[principal] Good. How are you?

}[Marquel] Not in the best mood.

}[principal] Well I’m glad
to see you came by.

}Give me just one second

}to finish this
little sentence here.

}[indistinct mumbling]

}[Marquel] Okay.

}So...

}How are you feeling
since I saw you last?

}-[Marquel] Not good at all.
-Okay.

}[Marquel]
I’m feeling disrespected.

}I’m feeling like...

}honestly, you don't care.

}I don't know if you understand

}what me and the students
go through

}in this school,
and what we put up with, but...

}I feel like there's just...

}You're here and I’m here.

}We're on two totally
different levels.

}Two totally different spectrums.

}I understand what's going on
more than you

}with the social life.

}-Tell me what's happening.
-[Marquel] There's micro...

}There's insults,
there's harassments,

}there's jokes
constantly, non-stop.

}"Oh, that’s some black nig--
would say."

}White kids
are saying the N word.

}For what?

}It's like...

}we get here, where, "Oh,
you've got to do the test,

}you've got to do this,
the curriculum,

}you just focus on that,"

}but there's another layer
to this whole school.

}-There is...
-You are absolutely right

}that in a lot of ways

}this school has not been
prepared for your needs.

}-And--
-It's not all about me.

}I’m not focused on me.
I’m open minded.

}I’m thinking
about everybody else,

}-the next generation.
-I know you're not focused

}on you, and that actually
what I’m asking you

}to kind of shift a little bit.

}-But I don't want--
-[principal] Now, hold on.

}I want to make sure
that in the first year

}that we put our arms around
a more diverse student body,

}we don't have a dip.

}-Do you know why?
-[Marquel] Wait!

}-Do you understand why?
-[Marquel] Wait!

}You're worried
that the minorities

}-are going to create a dip?
-[principal] No.

}[Marquel] See,
this is where you lose me,

}because we're not
on the same page with that.

}I don't understand why.

}And if you guys won't care,

}then I’m sorry,
I'll do it on my own.

}[principal] Marquel, hold on!
-[Marquel] There's no way...

}[principal] There's nothing
about this conversation

}that should lead you
to think that I don't care.

}I care about all...

}Can you please have a seat?
Please.

}[Marquel]
It doesn't seem like you do.

}[principal] You're responsible
for coming here to school,

}thinking about your own success,
and making that happen.

}Okay?

}I don't want you
to get distracted

}by a whole lot of things

}that don't necessarily need
your specific involvement...

}[man] Do we have anything
going on Thursday night?

}-Oh, my gosh, buddy.
-[boy] Yay!

}Careful, careful, careful!

}-[boy] Yay!
-Thursday night, the ninth...

}-No.
-[man] Okay.

}Do you want to see
what I can do?

}Whoa!

}[indistinct]

}[principal] Pretty good. Look.

}You've got this line,
and this line,

}and this part of the line,
but look, it's missing...

}this part going like that.

}-[boy] Okay.
-[principal] Wait, over here.

}Finish up your four.

}No Mommy,
actually, I want to do it...

}[principal] Are you going
to practice a four again?

}-[boy] Um-hm.
-[principal] Okay.

}[TV dialogue]

}[teen]
Marquel's pussy-whipped.

}[Marquel] Okay, but I’m not
as pussy-whipped as him.

}-No! Listen!
-Oh, Marquel down!

}His ass is whipped,
his ass is whipped.

}My ass... Listen!
My ass is whipped.

}-[all shouting]
-[Marquel] But worse... Listen!

}We're all whipped,

}but we're not as whipped
as this dude.

}-I bet you gonna--
-Think about that!

}[all shouting]

}What? Wait, hold up. What?

}-What'd you say?
-[student] Yo, what?

}-What'd you say?
-[student] I was making a joke.

}[Marquel] What was your joke?
I heard the N word.

}I heard "pussy-whipped,"
so I said you were whipped.

}-No?
-[Marquel] No, whoa! Hold up.

}That shit's not funny.
Take that shit back.

}-It's not real.
-[Marquel] Take that shit back!

}-I take it back.
-[Marquel] Take that shit back!

}[all shouting]

}[Marquel] Not you!
Because that is not your word.

}[all shouting]

}[Marquel]
Man, put him on the ground!

}-[indistinct speech]
-Hey!

}[shouting continues]

}Oh, no!

}[student 2]
He wasn't doing nothing.

}[Shatira] I felt like, kind of,
the crazy thing about...

}the exhibit, was that, like...

}He just did such simple things,
and I was like,

}I guess art doesn't have
to be complicated, so...

}I don't know.
I feel like as a photographer

}you only stand out

}if you do things differently,
and I’m not sure

}I do do things differently
in photography.

}I think I do
the same mediocre shit

}that everybody else does
in photography.

}I just want to be
more experimental

}with my work,

}and I don't know exactly
how to do that.

}-[clatter]
-Oh, shit!

}You want three
and a half ounces of this.

}Like that?

}And a shot of this.

}I've never taken a shot before.

}So I guess
we'll see how this goes.

}All right, the moment of truth.

}[Mitch] What's the moment
of truth?

}This, right here.

}We'll see if I can get
the darn thing on.

}All right. Lights off.
Is it time?

}[laughing] Oh, shit!

}This is not happening.

}Nope.

}I don't know how people do this.

}I do not know
how people do this.

}[Mitch]
Yeah, I can turn it back on.

}How was it being suspended?

}I slept all day and cleaned,
and, like, cleaned the house.

}I washed the bathroom, and...

}swept, vacuumed everywhere,
and I went to work.

}[quietly]
I’m cool here, turn it back on.

}[rap music playing]

}There's a problem with it.

}It's distorted.
That's what I mean.

}I’m trying to figure it
the fuck out.

}I might just rerecord this shit.

}♪ White on white
On the Bronco ♪

}♪ Nigga's go high like Django ♪

}♪ Fuck with the exodus... ♪

}[rapping rapidly]

}I'm a product of my environment.

}We do what we have to do
in certain situations.

}That's just kind of
how my upbringing is, so...

}We have to push a person
to that level

}to where they don't care
that much.

}They don't care.
I can't be punked anymore.

}Mostly what happens, I’m like...

}I could be
in a different position

}in two years
when I’m in college,

}and be like, I’m dropping out,
focus on music and take off.

}That's what a lot
of rappers do.

}[smooth rap music]

}[background chatter]

}[Shatira] So, it was the day
after the election.

}Everybody on Facebook
was like, "What the fuck!"

}-[laughing]
-Like, it was, like, haywire,

}and I didn't want
to go on there.

}I probably didn't go on there
for, like, a couple of days.

}Like, I just...

}I tried to keep my spirit up,
but at the same time,

}I was, like, damn, like,
racism won, once again.

}What are you going to say?
White privileged America.

}So, that was crazy.

}I watched it with my grandma,
because she's been sick

}and been living with us.
She was just terrified.

}She was like, "I do not want
to live in this society."

}And that brought me to tears.

}I kind of just...
I mean, I started a couple...

}I did a rally with Jumper,
and that was cool.

}It was motivational

}because everybody
was crying on that day.

}We were like we need
to get the people together

}so they can get
their feelings out.

}So we rallied up
the whole school on the rotunda,

}and had, like, a little...
I don't want to say walkout,

}but a little, like...
conversation.

}It was a group of kids.

}Basically everybody was like,
"Oh, let's do a walkout."

}And then, Marquel loves to think
he's in charge of it.

}So, him and Jumper were like,

}"Oh, we're going
to do a walkout."

}And then Marquel got mad.

}[Mitch] Come on in.

}Can you tell them
that they're beautiful?

}Really fucking weird!

}[door closing]

}[Marquel] Goddamn!
I can't keep the door open!

}-Jesus!
-[door lock rattling]

}Just smile the anger away.
[laughing]

}[student] I feel like there were
just so many people

}that the principal had no choice

}but to allow the rally,
you know?

}I mean, all the security guards
were very tense,

}like, standing around, like...

}As if something
was about to happen, and...

}People were crying.

}People were sobbing.

}I don't like the dude,

}but this is a little overboard,
you know?

}It's not the end of the world.

}What, four years,

}and then it goes back
to normal, right?

}What's the worst he can do?

}It feels weird
editing this picture.

}[Mitch] What did you say to him?

}[student] I was walking by,

}they were talking
about being whipped,

}and I was like,
"Whipped, ha, ha, ha."

}I made a joke. He...

}Did what he did
and turned it into a thing

}where he's the victim

}instead of me making
a joke, you know?

}Apparently now
I’m not allowed to make jokes,

}although he's allowed
to make jokes.

}If I make a joke
I'm like a Nazi

}or a white supremacist
or something.

}I never liked talking politics
because I don't know anything.

}I don't know about politics.

}You know? Like, I know
what the media tells me,

}but I don't know
about the policies

}and all that shit, you know.

}But I don't know,
it's just dumb to ask me that,

}because, like, the day
that he got elected

}everybody was, like, crying.

}And that didn't...

}-I didn't cry at all.
-[Mitch] Why?

}I thought it was darkly funny.

}I don't know
how it's going to affect me,

}and I don't even know
if anybody knows

}how it's going to affect
anybody.

}Like, right now,
it's, like, a school,

}and, like, girls,
and, like, social stuff,

}and it's always been that way.

}Like.... Act natural, Sarah.

}All right,
back to the interview.

}Okay.

}So, here's the thing,
I’m mic'd up right now,

}but once we go to the car
I’m going to be not mic'd,

}so you're on camera,
but don't act weird, okay?

}Just act like cool, okay?

}Do a cool walk.
Why don't we walk this way?

}Oh, funny seeing you here.

}Marquel and, like,
Shatira as a main character,

}and I’m like a side character,
I think.

}Because this is the first
time I’m ever, like...

}He's just filmed me.

}[indistinct chatter]

}[Marquel]
People started being weird.

}People started acting all...

}In public, they started
thinking they could be slick.

}They started calling you
the N word

}when you was walking down.

}Just a whole bunch of stuff,
I think...

}Like, some people just thought

}they were more comfortable
with being prejudiced

}and discriminating.

}[student] That is so terrible!

}[video] ...put on a knit cap
and some dark clothes

}and get in his white Bronco,
and this recognizable person...

}...and how it didn't fit
and how something's wrong.

}-[Marquel indistinct]
-It occurred to me

}how they were going come here

}and stand up here
and tell you

}how O.J. Simpson was going
to disguise himself.

}Was going to put on a knit cap
and some dark clothes

}and he was going to get
in his white Bronco,

}this recognizable person.

}And go over...
and kill his wife.

}That's what they want
you to believe.

}[Marquel] That's okay.

}[student] Yeah, "That's what
they want you to believe."

}So, there's a girl...

}[video] He was going to put on
a knitted cap

}and some dark clothes
and get in his white Bronco,

}and this recognizable person,
and go over and kill his wife.

}That's what they want
you to believe.

}[fast music beat]

}I felt like that came in
way early.

}[indistinct rapping]

}[Marquel] Man, when you win,

}when I actually first
got on stage at the mic

}and I had a DJ up,
this is a show,

}but it was more like,

}"Well, you've got
to start somewhere,

}you've gotta do something."
So, I've...

}You know, they're not bad shows,
they're just stepping stones,

}they're baby steps.

}Life is short,
so we ain't got much time.

}You got to make do
with what you got.

}And they play some cool shit.

}That thing is bigger
than a tablet.

}[student] Yeah.

}-[student] She's talking to you.
-[Karen] Put it down.

}-She's talking to me?
-[Karen] Yes.

}Who do you think I’m talking to?

}Who else has a phone
that's, like, the size

}of an encyclopedia?

}I mean, I like to learn.

}So, we're talking about
a fascist regime...

}[clears throat]

}And...

}So, if they started
making people wear bands

}in this country,

}denoting what denomination
they were,

}what color they were,
what creed they were,

}how they identified,

}would that lead you
to some sort of protest

}to do something?

}And it wouldn't
have to be violent.

}There are lots of different

}non-violent resistance
movements.

}I mean, Sophie Scholl
and the White Rose

}in Nazi Germany
being one of them.

}She could have kept
completely silent.

}She didn't have to act.

}She was only 21 years old.
She was only 21.

}And she knew the risks
of distributing these leaflets.

}She knew that she could
be caught at any moment.

}And they were,
because in January of 1943

}the University of Munich
had this huge riot

}because Stalingrad
had just been...

}Well, the Germans
had just been defeated

}in Stalingrad.

}So, University of Munich,

}which was full of artists
and critical thinkers,

}just erupted
with these huge riots.

}[overhead speaker] This is
district safety and security.

}Your school
is going into lockdown.

}This is not a drill.

}All students please report
immediately to the nearest...

}[Karen] All right guys,
you know the drill.

}Let's go.

}This half of the room
up against these...

}filing cabinets.

}Are you guys okay over there?

}[Shatira] I’m sure
it was either a threat

}that somebody made,
or there was a fight

}where a threat was made.

}it had to do something
with a threat,

}because otherwise
they wouldn't put us

}in a lockdown.

}I texted my mom
and I told her I love her,

}and, you know... I waited.

}Photography is all about
capturing the moments

}that are never going
to happen again, and...

}[camera clicking]

}That's what I did
with the photo of Ms. Karen.

}It would have been crazy
if something were to happen

}and then somebody
would have found my camera

}and it would have been
kind of dope

}to have that be the last picture
I ever took.

}We all go into...

}panic mode.

}We have no idea,
we have no idea,

}if we have
an active shooter on campus,

}or if there is...

}a direct threat to my class,
to one of my students.

}We have no idea what the heck
is coming down the pike.

}Yeah.

}No, I can totally
make that happen.

}So, a happy hour?

}Deal? Promise?

}Don't flake on me, bitch.

}[chuckling]

}No, I know you wouldn't.

}All right.

}We'll get together then

}and we'll talk more
about this nonsense.

}I’m scared.

}I am, I am... I'm nudging.

}Yep, well,
I also shouldn't be put on,

}like, some stupid probation
or being, you know...

}told that I can't sue.

}Sit!

}[chuckling]

}Animals are the best thing
in the world.

}Do you know why?

}Here's why:
they don't judge you.

}They don't judge you
for anything.

}[tense music]

}[inaudible]

}[Mitch] What are your thoughts
when teachers just disappear?

}What the fuck! [chuckling]

}I just think
it's unfair, like...

}[stutters] We should...
I think I have a right to know.

}I don't think it's fair at all,
that she's gone, honestly.

}Especially if, like,
they can't...

}They're just coming up
with stories

}to keep her gone, basically.

}They've probably wanted her gone
for a long time.

}She's a very outspoken person

}and not a lot of people
like that.

}Conversations were supposed
to be the solution.

}I feel like
that whole conversation

}kind of stopped
after she got fired.

}And I feel
like everybody is stuck.

}We're just stuck.

}[police siren]

}[laughing]

}I told you I was going to laugh.

}-Here we go.
-[Mitch] Why're you gonna laugh?

}Because it's just awkward...

}for me.

}[Mitch] Why is it awkward?

}Because
we just don't talk anymore.

}Our last conversation was...

}when I told you...

}it wasn't fair
that you were trying for me now

}when you could have
been trying for me--

}Oh, yeah, that was high key,
I remember that shit, yeah.

}And then we never talked
after that

}because you got up
and walked away.

}[tense music]

}[background chatter]

}[lecturer]
You don't do anyone any good

}if you're doing a Hail Mary run

}like the Charge
of the Light Brigade

}up against an active shooter.

}So what you need to do

}is you have to make sure
you've got some tactics

}and some capability
to either contain

}or track the movements.

}That is time to act.
You've got to do something.

}You've got to either neutralize
that threat...

}You've got to have
that wherewithal to do it.

}Here's the other thing
you have to consider,

}is could you shoot... a child?

}[solemn music]

}That's a very difficult thing
for you to think about

}if you're carrying a gun
and working in a school.

}Can you shoot a child?

}As a person responsible
for the safety

}and wellbeing of children,

}you've got to be the adult
in the room.

}So, what you need to do

}is you need to daydream
and think.

}No different
than football players

}or baseball players
or anything else with a pop fly.

}You may be working out
in left field

}and never get a ball
the entire game,

}but that one time you do,
you've practiced,

}and you thought it through,
and you've brainstormed,

}and you've daydreamed
about what will happen

}if the ball comes
flying your way

}and how are you're going
to handle that.

}[Shatira] This is the most
devious thing

}I've ever done in my life.

}-[Mitch] For real?
-Yeah.

}I've never snuck out.

}I don't smoke, I don't drink.

}I've been grounded
more than a handful of times,

}but I've never been suspended
or expelled.

}You know, I feel like
there's been a lot of times

}in the past few years

}where I haven't said
what I should have said,

}and I don't want
to let things...

}Well, you know,
in terms of, like...

}something
that really affects me,

}I don't want to let it be.

}And...

}Everybody's always like,
"Oh, kids don't watch the news,

}kids don't care about
what happens nowadays.

}Kids don't this,
they don't that,

}they don't pay attention.

}All they do is pay attention
on their fucking phones,

}and yada, yada, yada."

}And...

}I just don't want to sit back
anymore.

}[foreboding music]

}[music accelerates]

}[Shatira] I don't know
if I would call it a story.

}I think
I would call it a memory,

}to be quite honest.

}Because it's not something
that's made up.

}Yeah, my life isn't a story,
it's more of a memory.

}[man] Hey! Hey! Stop!

}I've seen you! Stop!

}[gunshot]

}I feel like I kind of left
the old Shatira,

}and that's cool.

}[needle buzzing]

}I feel like I’m more afraid
of the future

}than I am of like, death,
at this point,

}because I’m like, damn,
I’m 18 now, like...

}Shit really happens,

}like, you actually
like, continue living.

}[laughs] Like, I guess,
like, all I thought

}after high school
was like death.

}[chuckles] But now I actually
have to go out and live my life

}and be 30, flirty and thriving.

}Like, I don't want to do that.

}I've never planned on that.

}I've only seen it in the movies

}and I don't feel like
it's realistic.

}[electronic music]