See You Next Christmas (2021) - full transcript

♪ Happy Christmas day
you broke my heart ♪

♪ Happy Christmas day
you broke my heart ♪

♪ And now I can't believe
that you would ever leave me ♪

♪ You were trying
to deceive me ♪

♪ I gave you all my love
but you threw it away ♪

♪ So happy Christmas,
don't tell me it's over ♪

♪ So happy Christmas,
don't tell me it's over ♪

♪ So happy Christmas, don't
tell me it's over now ♪

♪ Happy Christmas day
you broke my heart ♪

♪ Happy Christmas day
you broke my heart ♪

♪ And now it seems that
you are never gonna leave ♪



♪ But you told me
you'll never see her ♪

♪ Gave you all my time but
you were fooling around ♪

♪ So happy Christmas,
don't tell me it's over ♪

♪ So happy Christmas,
don't tell me it's over ♪

♪ So happy Christmas, don't
tell me it's over now ♪

I am not lonely because
of the holidays, mom.

No, I don't mind going
to a party alone.

That is the point of going.

No, mom, not so I
can meet someone.

Look, I'm getting
out, I'm going.

Tom?

What was that?

Nothing, it's all good!

It doesn't sound like nothing.



You know that Annie
messaged me like three times

to make sure I'd come?

Wait, did you tell Annie
that she had to make me come?

Did you know that baby carrots

are the same thickness
as a human finger?

We just know not
to bite into them.

Our fingers.

But if we did, they'd have the
same give as a baby carrot.

Now why would
you tell me this?

Because that's
interesting information.

Oh, you have ruined
baby carrots for me.

Or maybe I've enhanced them?

Look, mom, I will probably
just stay for five minutes

and never go to one of their
parties ever again, okay?

I'm hanging up now, goodbye.

Natalie!

Your cousin's here.

I know I'm a little early,
but I was talking to my mom

in the car and she was
like, "Just go in already!"

Yeah, of course!

Come in.

I'm going in.

Annie is just finishing
some stuff up in the kitchen.

I'm almost
done, I just need a hand.

I can help, too.

She gets a little
stressed beforehand.

I'm totally fine!

Oh, I'm the first
person here, huh?

People usually arrive
around 30 minutes

after the start time.

Then why is it the start time?

Natalie!

Oh wow, I love your dress.

She wears it every year.

Now I would love to chat,
and I promise we will,

but we are officially
running late.

Tom, get the stuff
for the eggnog.

Oh, I can help, too...

Oh, no, no, no,
you're our guest.

How are you?

I'm good.

I am good.

Um, the semester just ended.

- Cool.
- Finally.

And that means the class
I was TA-ing is done.

Cool.

Those kids were sweet,

but they were also
total nightmares.

- Yikes.
- Cool, cool.

I mean, not cool that
that they were nightmares,

but cool that you're done.

Right.

Oh, shoot, I
got shell in here.

So, is there anyone
special in your program?

You're are as
bad as Aunt Beth.

Is there anyone?

Oh my gosh.

I think that's a no.

It's okay that it's a no.

You've got plenty of time.

We were kind of a
weird, cosmic thing.

Oh, no, the dress!

- Okay, oh no.
- Oh.

I got it.

Blot it, blot it.

Yeah, blot it, blot it.

We did say 7:30 on
the invite, right?

Yeah, uh, Nat, do
you wanna get the door,

maybe make a new friend?

Gentle!

Yes, I'm
a gentle blotter.

Not, don't rub it in.

Honey, I'm just barely,
you can't even see it.

Get a hairdryer!

Hi, I'm Annie's cousin.

They're just finishing the
last touches in the kitchen.

They'll be right out.

So, uh, you can come
in to the party.

Woo!

I didn't get your name?

Doug.

I'm Natalie, Annie's cousin.

You already said that.

Right, cool.

Nice to meet you, too, Doug.

Oh no, I didn't
get photos yet.

Okay.

Precious cargo!

Oh no, here it comes!

The eggnog has arrived,
Clarkmas can officially begin!

It's raw eggs, right?

And like,
a gallon of booze.

Make sure people
take pictures.

They're memories!

Okay, all right, get in there.

Come on, here we go.

Okay, all right, you guys next?

Saw you met Doug.

Oh, he mostly ate
hors d'oeuvres at me.

I think he spat some
gingerbread man on my face.

It seemed like maybe you
two were hitting it off.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding!

I just want to make
sure you mingle.

I'm doing just fine.

Refilling the
gingerbread, duck!

Okay, so, see?

Hey, buddy.

What?

You made it!

How was the drive up?

Oh, not too bad.

Fun fact, I might be moving
up here in a few weeks.

No kidding, new job?

Same job, new office.

They're putting a branch
in Marina del Rey.

Who knows, maybe I'll
become one of those guys

who lives on a boat?

You would be a guy
that lives on a boat.

I would be a guy that
lives on a boat, yeah.

Annie, look who finally
made it this year!

- Hi, hello!
- How are you?

I'm good!

Oh, get him some eggnog.

You trying to make me fat?

I do what I can.

Oh, Logan, you have to
meet my cousin, Natalie.

Yes.

She was
here a second ago.

Uh, oh, looking
at the pictures.

See that picture of me?

My cat died after that one.

Really?

Yeah.

You look so happy, though.

They really take these
parties very seriously.

Yeah, this is my 4th one.

Is this your first one?

Yeah, I just, I moved
to LA for grad school.

Grad school!

I remember those graduate years.

Just wandering them halls,
just walking around,

no student loans, no debt.

Does your school have
lions in front of it?

- Lions?
- Lions.

A good grad school needs good
lions just in front of it.

So you know it's good education.

We should have made these
before people got here!

They would have been cold.

That's why we
don't do hot apps.

You love hot apps.

Yeah, when someone
else is making them.

There's no need to
over-complicate our parties.

This was a small upgrade.

We get better every year.

Here we go.

Ally-oop.

Hot apps.

Well, at least
I'm not the only one

that got the ugly sweater memo.

You must be Tom's
high school friend.

The outspoken one?

Junior high.

Oh, okay.

Close.

I'm Natalie.

And you don't know anyone
at this party, Natalie.

What's my tell?

The way you're downing
that drink while pretending

to be interested in
Tom's graphic novels.

Okay.

Well, what's your excuse?

I'm merely an observer of
this grand social experiment.

Ah, so you're
just here to judge?

Yeah, it did kind of win you
over with the sweater line.

Hm, keep telling
yourself that.

So this is going really well.

Ah, you're really perceptive!

What do you do, Natalie?

I didn't get your name.

Don't change the subject.

What do you do?

I'm in grad school
for psychology.

Huh, wow.

Go figure.

Oh...

No, I'm impressed.

That's genuinely very cool.

What?

Nothing.

I'm just waiting for
your snarky comeback.

Wow.

You've got my number already.

You're gonna be really
good at this shrink thing.

Thank you.

Yeah, I'm already
psychoanalyzing you.

Many have tried,
none have succeeded.

Oh, is that a challenge?

You don't want
another drink, do you?

You're aggressive
for a psyche major.

You're projecting
your own desires.

Okay, my plan would
be to just get rid

of highway patrol all together

and just put like tow
trucks at every exit.

Just take them
straight to the garage.

I'm not sure that's how, I...

Big stop, ready to go.

Just done and done.

How many times has your
car broken down on a freeway?

Like, 10, 15 times.

Come on,
you're taking to long.

One minute.

Only a minute?

Tom, Tom!

I've got an extinguisher
in my apartment!

There's nothing in the oven,

but the smoke just keeps coming!

Okay, did you try water?

Yeah, I did, I tried water.

Sorry, all right.

Fill this, fill this.

Sorry.

Did I do that?

No, I don't know.

Shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit.

Wait, what is that?

You smell that?

Excuse me?

What is that smell?

Oh shit!

- Oh shit!
- Oh my God!

- Oh my God!
- Well don't panic.

Well that's really
not helpful, is it?

Oh, I got it, I got it, yeah.

Oh, you think
that's gonna save us?

Well, I don't see
you doing anything.

You can fit through
that window, right?

What do you mean, can I fit?

Can you fit?

Come on!

I'm saving our lives.

You go first, I've got you.

All
right, here we go.

I'm a little afraid of
heights, by the way.

They live on the first floor.

Yeah, you're right.

Sorry about
the hands on the butt.

Don't worry about
being a gentleman right now.

Okay.

- You got it?
- Yeah, I think so.

- You good?
- Yeah.

Sorry Santa.

Started yoga.

Yeah, it does help.

Are you okay?

Yeah, are you?

Yeah.

Let's go see if Tom
and Annie are up there.

Oh my God.

Really could have used
the bathroom, Logan.

Cliff had to let me use his.

So it's Logan, right?

Huh.

I'm just so humiliated.

Oh honey, these things happen.

When was the last
time you were at a party

where the fire
department was called?

Okay, at least it
was a kitchen fire?

If it had happened near a tree

it could have been
really dangerous.

It's true, trees
go up in seconds.

Have you seen those videos?

Would you want
one of your clients

to be known as the person
with the kitchen fire?

Okay, that's
besides the point.

It would never happen.

But if it did happen,
I would turn it around

and maybe add a catch
phrase or something.

Arson Annie?

Okay, not that one.

This one is so
awesome, it just, whoosh,

it just goes up so fast.

They say I saved the day.

All right, ma'am, everything's
under control in there,

but pretty smokey, so
I'd leave the windows

and doors open for awhile.

How long awhile?

I don't know, an hour, maybe?

And between you and me,

don't store potholders
under the oven.

You should know,
I've never done this,

not even in college.

Wait, should I be
telling you that?

Nah, you couldn't resist me

from the moment I
started talking to you.

Oh, you need to stop
saying shit like that.

I tee you up to
say something sweet

and then you say
the grossest things.

You didn't think that
twenty minutes ago.

Wait, do you have
plans for New Year's?

Ah, you know, they're
kind of still up in the air.

Do you think Tom and Annie
were trying to set us up?

I don't know.

I mean, they think there's
something wrong with you

if you haven't latched on to
a mate and committed yourself

to someone by now, so.

You haven't been in many
longterm relationships?

What does that mean?

Just a guess.

I've had some long-ish
relationships, okay?

No judgment from me, okay?

Tom and Annie married
their college sweetheart.

Why would you settle
if you don't even know

what's out there
in the first place?

I don't need like a
smorgasbord or something.

And what exactly
are you getting at?

I don't know, Mr.
My-plans-are-up-in-the-air.

Bet no guy is
ever good enough for you.

Do you ever let anyone in?

I mean, you hide behind
these cynical comments,

hoping nobody ever
sees the real you.

I mean, I barely know you,
but it feels like nobody does.

Insulting a guy is a great
way to get to know him.

Oh, well ladies love it
when they hook up with a guy

who then proceeds to analyze
their dating history.

It's a real turn on for a guy

when a girl says how no guy's
ever good enough for her.

That's an anecdote you
should save for more parties.

I think we're done here.

Oh come on.

You started it.

We can just forget
this happened.

Dance party!

I'm so not a dancer.

I'd take her word for it.

Okay. I braved the
smoke for these guys.

Come on.

Jello shots!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on, ah-ha.

Come on.

♪ Now tell me what
is you trying to do ♪

♪ I'm feeling this vibe,
you feeling it too ♪

♪ We got enough for
this to go round ♪

♪ You never knew, I'm
glad you know now ♪

♪ Go ahead break it down ♪

♪ Go ahead break
a smile for me ♪

♪ It's been a while because
life can weigh down on you ♪

♪ Hit it with a mile on you ♪

♪ Tell me what you want me to ♪

♪ You got me and I got you ♪

♪ And we both got
nothing to lose ♪

♪ To try to, I need you too ♪

♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪

♪ We can show you how ♪

♪ To get down, get down, oh ♪

It's a touchy subject.

Listen, I'm not
asking, it's my mother.

Since I'm not
procreating, she's hoping

that someone from the family
can take one for the team.

It's not that
we're against kids.

We just aren't
ready for one yet.

Besides Tom and I
were practically kids

when we started
dating and you know,

we have plenty of time.

Yeah, your eggs are gonna
be good for at least a decade.

Probably exactly a decade.

I am not that
much older than you.

I know. but we've established
that I'm a lost cause.

You rule people out before
you give them a fair chance.

That is patently untrue.

World of Warcraft
credit card guy.

Red flag.

Organic deodorant man.

Yuck!

The optometrist with the
competitive laser tag team?

Hard pass.

Tom has plenty
of weird hobbies.

Remember his
ventriloquist phase?

I'm not having this
conversation with you.

Neither am I.

You'll find someone.

You just have to be open to it.

You will find them when
you're least expecting it.

What do you know?

I mean, you guys met
when you were kids.

Exactly.

We weren't expecting it.

I can get it.

Tom will get it.

Tom?

I'm cleaning
out the bathtub.

I Thought you were gonna do
that when I started cooking?

I had to
create a new playlist.

I can get it, seriously.

Oh, hi.

Hi.

I'm the first one here?

Ah, no.

I already got that title.

Logan.

I know.

Ha, ha, ha, Logan!

Wait, where's the ice?

Oh shit, I knew there
was a reason I left early.

Sorry dude, I Ubered.

Wait, he
didn't bring the ice?

But we need a
bunch of bags, Tom.

Listen, I'll just
go out and get it.

I'm sure there's a grocery
store around the corner.

That's great.

Wait, will
she get back in time?

The sooner she
leaves the better.

I'll be fine.

But how
can she carry it all?

We need a bunch of bags, Tom?

What if Logan
goes with Natalie

and then they can carry
the bags together?

That's perfect.

Great.

We'll go get the ice.

Together.

I'm sorry.

I didn't know anyone
would be sitting there.

You are quite the hoarder.

That is hardly hoarding.

Oh, pardon me.

It's just the back
issues of old magazines

and a bunch of half
drunken water bottles.

If there's an earthquake,
I will have water.

I'll be sure to find
you in the grid goes down.

You didn't have
to come with me.

I don't know why you did.

Geez, did you see this
one about the fault line

in the Pacific Northwest?

They are screwed.

You're really not going
to say anything, are you?

Unbelievable.

Last Clarkmas?

We hooked up!

Oh man, the
captions on these cartoons

gets me every time.

I know that I've seen you
around town several times

and every single time
you've avoided me.

Once at the ArcLight and twice

at the Third Street Promenade.

Look, I don't know.

I know it was you.

Maybe you just
wanted to see me.

Isn't there a psychological
term for that?

The only
term that is coming

to my mind right now is Asshole.

What, I'm supposed to
remember every random hookup?

Oh, we
had a conversation.

Perhaps.

Oh shit, the supermarket.

Sorry.

Hey, any of these
spots would work.

I'm finding a spot
near the entrance.

Still don't know
how to settle.

All right.

I am officially taking
the higher road here.

We can start over.

Like nothing happened.

Nothing did happen.

Great.

Fantastic.

Perfect.

Love it.

There was
actually a closer spot.

I don't know what's
taking them so long.

I'm sure they're minutes away.

That better be them.

I can't believe they
only had two bags left.

You look like you're
struggling to just hold the one.

I'm kidding.

Here, come on, give it to me.

Let me take it.

You don't have to.

No seriously, I'd like to.

Okay.

Oh, geez.

Yeah, it's heavy.

Thank you for keeping
the ice on your lap.

I just didn't want to
get my stuff all wet.

You know, I've got some
pretty important papers

in there somewhere.

At least my body will be numb

if you get us into an accident.

Oops.

- Hey, cheese!
- Oh, come on.

Come on in you crazy kids.

I thank you.

Yeah, I'm so glad there's
evidence of that thank you.

Annie's cool with this?

It's all the rage.

It's called a beer throw

Beers in the bathtub, huh?

You always think of something.

Hot appetizers were
off limits this year.

I was afraid to ask.

Hey, Natalie?

Just between us, Annie's not
really saying a lot about it

but she was just laid
off from her job.

What?

Just maybe don't bring it up.

Just try to keep things calm.

I just really need
everything to run smoothly.

Yeah, of course.

Oh my God.

Poor Annie.

She's good.

She's great.

She just hates anything
changing, ever.

That's so Annie.

Do you know that she
had the same haircut

from ages seven to 17?

No.

She would have kept it too.

except when she was
blowing out the candles

at her 17th birthday party,
her bangs caught on fire.

Don't say, and
don't say fire either.

So I ran out of
my apartment, like,

with a fire extinguisher in hand

and I put out the
fire right as like,

the firefighters were showing up

and I think they were jealous

because they missed the action.

But smoke was like
billowing up in my face.

And Annie, she had put
like flammable material

in the drawer underneath.

Are you gonna tell
everyone about it, Cliff?

She's interested.

You're interested, right?

But what's your, I
didn't catch your name.

It's Megan.

Megan is very interested, so.

I was just coming
to put my coat down.

Ah-huh, okay.

So have you ever put out a fire?

Because sometimes you're like,

I burnt my beard a little bit.

Oh yeah, I just
got these socks.

I just live right
across the hall.

Oh, you know who
friended me on Facebook?

Naomi Hagar.

Whoa, Naomi?

How is she, how's she doing?

From light internet stalking,

she seems to be doing very well.

Somehow she seems to
moved on from you.

It has been a decade
since we graduated.

Do you remember that
debate trip that we went on

and you ended up
missing your event,

you had to take
her to urgent care?

And she just barfed all
over your front seat.

That smell never went away.

Sorry, to interrupt,
Annie wanted me to tell you

that your guacamole
is running low.

Oh, duty calls.

Excuse me.

That's a nice color on you.

Thanks.

Hey, I didn't mean to act
like I didn't know you earlier.

I just thought it
might be easier?

For who?

For both of us, I guess?

And once I committed to
it, it felt weird to stop.

Apology accepted.

It wasn't an apology per se.

I should just be
quiet sometimes.

I'm working on it.

Cool.

Annie.

Oh, hello.

you cannot put those
on the food table.

I made these special.

You should try them
before they get eaten up.

Oh, that's sweet.

Seriously though.

I don't want the
plebes to eat them all.

I spent a lot of
money on saffron.

These drunkards wouldn't
appreciate them.

Okay.

Ah!

Natalie, come play.

You're gonna catch on quick.

Just grab the controller
and wait for the beep.

When you hear the beep, it's
a race to press the button

and the last person gets buzzed.

Buzzed?

Ow!

That was worse than the
Milgram shock experiment.

It's like where
they're being tortured,

but they have a
fear of authority,

so no one speaks
up and says like,

scientist, stop
it, it's too much.

You know.

It's well known.

It is?

I just had finals.

Your boss never
appreciated you

and now you get a fresh start.

I'll keep an ear
open for any leads.

Yeah, but anywhere I go, it
will be starting over again.

Store-bought over there.

I, on the other hand, have
been maxing out credit cards

to go on crappy online dates.

At least you don't have
to worry about that.

I'm just a broke spinster.

Oh, stop.

You have plenty of time.

How old are you?

27.

My mother had two kids
by the time she was 27.

On the bright
side, I could be 27

and raising two ingrates.

Well, here's to
figuring it all out,

next year.

I'm so happy you
throw these parties.

Otherwise I wouldn't
have any place

to go during the holidays.

It's the only
time Tom and I get

to see our friends
together in one place.

Who's that?

Oh, I don't know.

She must be one
of Tom's friends.

Hey man, so beers in
the bathtub this year?

It's all the rage.

That's cool.

I like a good beer in
the shower sometimes.

I felt it on my
lips and my hands.

You know what's hilarious
is the beer's not even cold.

After all that.

There you are, you
weren't answering my texts.

I must have left
my phone on silent.

A likely story.

Hi, I'm Shannon.

My lady friend.

Yeah, he doesn't want to
give anybody the wrong idea

that we might actually
be getting serious.

Oh, I remember
those days, totally.

Oh please.

You were the one desperate
to lock it down, not me.

I was, it's true.

I don't care.

Well they should be so lucky.

Excuse me, I'm gonna
pop into the restroom.

So how did you two meet?

An app.

We did too!

They're in the bathroom?

Uh...

One minute!

Yeah, I've heard that before.

What are you doing
this New Years?

We're doing a party
if you're around.

Well, I don't know,
you just figure it out.

Excuse you.

Sorry, what was
your name again?

It's Shannon.

Also, that dress
is amazing on you.

It's a beautiful color.

Thank you.

You're actually not the first
person to say that tonight.

This all makes a
lot of sense now.

This is what you
were trying to avoid.

Looks like it
didn't work, Logan.

No, not at all.

We can start over.

We're just strangers.

Logan and I are just
a bunch of strangers.

But last year, you two...

I think I'm gonna
get another beer.

You want to join me honey?

No, I'm good.

This is awkward.

Didn't have to be.

Don't go placing the
blame on me, you started it.

You're kind of
obsessed with me.

I simply acknowledge who
I've made out with before.

Come on, all those times
stocking me around town.

Oh my God, you wish.

Oh my God, why would anyone
put a beer in a bathtub?

It's all the rage.

Hey, Cuz.

What is going on over here?

You're Annie, right?

This is your soiree?

It's absolutely lovely.

It's so cozy.

Everything's just right.

Like really, thank
you for having us.

Who is she?

His lady friend.

I see.

Yeah. I didn't mean
to make a scene.

Logan's being kind
of a dick, actually.

I tried to make good.

You tried to
cover your tracks.

Oh my God, you
can't let anything go.

You let everything go.

Just stop, both of you, okay?

Why can't we have a nice time?

Can someone please
just pass me a beer.

Thank you.

Thanks for coming.

I don't go home
for the holidays.

This is my Christmas.

You're Jewish.

I know.

Great party, man.

Later.

Well, at least we've got
enough alcohol for new years.

We can take it to
Chris and Megan's.

They're having us over
at their new place.

Did they buy?

Apparently.

I thought it would be
rude to ask the details,

but I looked it up and
I think they overpaid.

Do you wish we had a house?

Sure, of course, but
we're fine where we are.

This place is cozy, according
to Logan's new lady friend.

He really needs to
stop calling her that.

Toilet's running again.

I guess this place is cozy.

Are you happy?

With me?

Are you kidding?

Of course.

You're my best lady friend.

We're not gonna
have enough food.

Hey good looking.

You are changing the subject.

We have 52 people confirmed.

Luckily we know
a bunch of flakes.

Because, pun intended.

Did you really have to
invite all your work friends?

I don't even know them.

Well, this could be a great
way to get to know them.

Does Logan have another
lady friend coming today, too?

I don't know, we
don't really talk

about that kind of thing.

Are the little ones,
should I just get rid

of the little ones?

Honey?

They're great.

Yeah, they're great.

We should have
made more truffles.

There's some
broccoli in the fridge,

you could put the head out.

Nobody's gonna eat
a head of broccoli.

They will if
they're desperate.

So you admit that
we don't have enough.

I do not admit that.

I think that no matter
how much food you put out,

Doug's just gonna demolish it.

What are these lights for?

I was thinking it
could be kind of fun

if they were up
around the windows.

Someone wants to
impress his work friends.

No.

Hmm?

Maybe a little.

That's just human.

And they're not my work friends,

they're just my new friends.

They're, they're, they're
just friends of mine.

Well if they know
the guy I know,

then they're already impressed.

There's a position
opening up in the new year.

I'm the choice, but
they are interviewing

outside the company too.

This is the first
I'm hearing of it.

It's not a big deal, really.

How are these tangled

if all they do is sit
in a box all year?

Who do I have to bribe
to get you the job?

I will ply them with eggnog.

Lenora.

She's on the committee.

I just have to prove to
her that I'm responsible.

But cool, hip.

But you'd trust me with
a million dollar account.

You always managed
to start a project

right before people get here.

Well, is it maybe a
bad time to tell you

that I ordered a
karaoke machine?

Kidding.

Oh, there we go.

How'd you do that?

Easy.

Easy?

You're welcome.

Thank you.

Easy.

Cheers!

You're a wonderful host!

Thank you.

Okay, so furniture
stores are going

out of business all the
time, and yet, economically,

I don't understand how
they have everything

for 80% off all the time.

Maybe the actual
price is just 80% under

what they try to sell it for?

It's either the worst
business to be in or the best.

I don't know.

I haven't decided.

Nina, oh my gosh,
those look incredible.

I'll hide these in the kitchen

so you and Tom can try them.

May I?

You can have one.

Is that salted caramel?

And candied Rosemary with
a brown butter finished.

I thought it was
grass.

I'll find Tom.

Just because it,
it looks like grass.

And so he
leaves the audition,

which is terrible, and on the
way out he grabs a handful

of grapes and he looks at me
and he goes, "Arrivederci."

Please tell me you cast him.

The director wanted to!

No!

Tom, I've got a treat for you.

What are
these, pray tell?

Lenora, get in there.

Oh my God, orgasmic.

What are you, like
the cookie goddess?

Oh, I love that.

Oh my God, that's so funny.

Nina, this is Lenora,
Lenora, this is Nina.

These are incredible.

Yeah, they were.

Thank you, Nina.

What is going on there?

What do you mean?

Were we not supposed
to eat the cookies?

No, no, eat the cookies.

Eat the cookies.

They're good.

Yeah, they are.

♪ Shouldn't be alone
for Christmas, Baby ♪

Hello, Natalie.

Oh, hello there.

Happy holidays.

I thought you'd be impressed
that I remembered your name.

It's kind of a basic human
expectation that I have

after I've met someone
a number of times.

It's something
I've been working on.

Meeting basic
human expectations?

Well, yeah.

That's very self-aware of you.

Actually I have kind of a
funny story that involves you.

Oh, do you?

Yeah, I.

I'm sorry, you have,
there's just a little.

Hmm?

You, here, I'll just.

Thanks.

Anyway, I guess it's
just a thing of the times

that we live in, but you
actually came up as a match

on my dating profile.

Oh!

I knew it.

I knew it!

You got it too and
you swiped right!

No, no, no, I did not.

I closed the app immediately,

and then when I
restarted you were gone.

I don't think that's
how the app works.

Yeah, it does.

It works like that.

It definitely does because
that's what happened.

And that's what I did.

While we're on the topic,

have you ever considered
a different profile photo?

I'm just saying you're
much prettier in real life,

why start with that picture?

I think you think you're
complimenting me right now...

What was it your profile said?

You want someone who
will challenge you?

Okay, I'm not
getting into this.

But why are all the
pictures on your profile

full of remnants of other women?

Like the super
random arm around you

or the cute side boob.

It's like, oh, hey, I have
access to all these hot women.

That is not what I'm saying.

Those are just pictures
that exist of me.

Then crop it.

Just because I don't
take all these selfies,

like a millennial.

You are a millennial.

Yeah, but I
don't act like one.

Is Logan bothering you?

Not more so than usual.

Have you bragged
yet about how you only

have a semester left
of your program?

No, mom.

One semester, huh?

I graduate
in the spring.

You can
finally diagnosed me.

It would be unprofessional
to say sociopath, right?

She gets it.

Tom, what's
your diagnosis for me?

Well, in my very
unprofessional opinion,

I would say, soulmate.

Oh.

Soulmate.

Bullshit.

I may sound cheesy, but
sometimes you just know.

Come on, it's an
outdated notion.

It's gone the way the crank
car, AM-FM radio, flip phones.

Yeah, I mean the
presumption that there's

just one person
out there for each

and every one of
us is ludicrous.

Right?

And what about the rest of us?

What are we just losers waiting
to find the one and only?

Yeah, good luck.

Get ready to die alone.

I wonder what the sex
is like for soulmates.

Okay.

Da, da, da, da!

You almost forget to
bring this out this year.

Oh, yeah.

I guess I, I guess I did.

You want to get some air?

Cliff, that was in
our bedroom closet.

Oh, I'm sorry, Annie.

I guess you forgot
to take it out.

Oh, what is this?

This is a stupid game.

If by stupid you mean awesome.

Basically you get electrified

if you don't push the
button fast enough.

It's like musical
chairs with electricity.

All right, this sounds
like a really masochistic

and juvenile form
of entertainment.

Totally.

Obviously I'm in.

What do we do?

Does it hurt?

Does it plug into something?

No, it's
already in there.

What's the voltage?

Well, let me,
let me, I'll start.

If you're really curious,
I'll start the game

and then, and then,
and then we can just,

that's all, we'll all,
I'll teach you how to play.

I've actually been off all
the apps for a few months now.

I think I slept with half of LA.

I'm joking.

I don't know, it just
wasn't joyful anymore.

It was like, what
am I even doing?

I guess I am ready for
something more serious.

I guess I kind
of misjudged you.

Well, aren't you gonna
say something like,

maybe I misjudged you too?

I'm a pretty good
read of people.

Of course that's
your response.

- Come on.
- Of course!

The only reason you
said I misjudged you

was so I would say
it back to you.

Mm!

Again?

It's your game!

Wow, I haven't
been shocked once!

Tom, it looks like you're
trying to lose this game.

Well, I'm not,
I'm just, I'm rusty.

I, listen, I don't play
this all that much, really.

What?

Are you kidding me?

This is like the best game ever.

I agree.

Yeah, another round.

Yeah, keep going.

Come one everybody,
one more round!

I'm just getting warmed up!

One more
round, one more round!

Really?

One more round,
let's get shocked!

My program ends in the spring

and I have no idea
what I want to do.

You don't want to
do psychology anymore?

No, I do.

I just, I don't
know where or how.

They teach you the academics

but they don't
give you a roadmap.

And I feel like everyone in my
program is setting down roots

and finding their direction,
and no path feels right to me.

I don't know.

I've never known
what I wanted.

I joined ROTC on a whim

and ended up overseas
after graduation.

I thought I'll be
career military.

Then my tour ended, I came
home, got into tech, here I am.

Life works in funny ways.

How did I not
know this about you?

You were too
busy blathering on

about your program.

Rude!

Yeah, again.

You're terrible at this.

Hey, rematch.

I could tap you out.

No, no, no, I got another one.

Stop hogging the game.

Isn't that what
you're doing, Doug?

I am the reigning champion.

Oh, okay.

You know what cliff, maybe
you can, you can jump in.

Yeah!

Holy mother of...

It's bad, isn't it?

Way to go, Tom.

Do you have any
plans for new years?

I got a few options.

Ah, you don't want to commit

because you're fielding offers

and you want to keep
your options open

unless something
better comes up.

I know.

The shrink program
is really working.

I actually hate new years.

I really do, too much pressure.

You know, you rack your brain
to do something special,

when all you really
want to do is sit home

and watch the ball drop.

But instead you go out, you
spend way too much money.

You stand in a room
full of strangers

counting down to a new year
in hopes it will be better

than the one you just had?

You've never had a good new
year's, that's your problem.

I suppose you've had so many?

Tom and I had
some good ones after college.

We were both home for the
holidays and neither one

of us wanted to feel stuck
at our parents' places.

And my mom, I love her, but
she just worries about me.

Always has, always will.

And she didn't want me out
on the road with, you know,

all the crazies on the road.

I don't know if you
know this or not,

but after 2:00 AM,
it is crazy central.

So I've heard.

So Tom and I would just camp
out in my parents' basement,

play Gin Rummy and drink my
grandmother's boxed wine.

If that's the case, why settle

for some lame warehouse party?

Sounds like you already
know what you want.

Excuse me, is
this your residence?

No.

Thank you, ma'am.

Miss would have been fine.

Ugh!

It's really not that bad.

The sting goes away
relatively quickly.

I should know, I lost
about eight times.

Uh, you weren't wearing rings.

I have a ring.

It's open get in here!

It's his place

Sir?

Is this your apartment?

Yes.

Yes it is.

But we don't own it.

We, we rent, which is
not what you asked.

That's not what I, yeah.

Look, we received
a noise complaint.

Really?

Oh, that's probably
when Lenora lost.

She screamed.

Sorry about that.

We were playing a little game.

All right.

I thought this would be kids.

Aren't you a little old
to be throwing ragers?

Myself?

No, I don't think so.

I'm very hip, you have no idea.

You are?

I'm very cool,
I'm very relaxed.

All right.

How about you tell me that
you're wrapping things up

and that as you do, you'll
keep things quiet in here.

I promise you that we
were going to wrap it up.

I don't mean
literally tell me,

I just mean, like you
get what I'm saying,

like that's what's happening.

Yes, I promise we will.

It's gonna be a house
of mouse, mouses.

It's gonna be quiet.

Okay.

Feels like we've
already started.

Yeah.

Anyway, happy holidays.

Thank you.

You as well, also with you.

All right.

Drive safe.

I'll explain it later.

Is the coast clear?

The last time the cops busted
a party, I was in high school.

My instincts kicked in.

It's like we're
back in college.

Cheer up, it's all fine.

How is it I'm the one
who's not freaking out?

Hey man, I was using
your bathroom earlier

and the toilet
just keeps running.

Like I jiggled the
handle and everything

and it just won't stop.

So I think you should fix that.

Okay, thanks Cliff.

Because it's just a big waste.

Got it, yep.

We gotta get going.

Oh.

Yeah, we gotta get all the
way back to the west side, so.

Great party, man.

Thank you, yeah.

Listen it's not
usually like this.

We're very responsible.

See you Monday.

Do you want to grab
a bite or something?

I'm starving.

Yeah.

Let's get out of here.

All right, I'll see
you on Monday then.

It's good.

It's okay.

Starving, she said.

I have some cookies left.

- Doug, not now.
- For what?

- Not now.
- For them.

They're gone.

So it's not really
my style to ask,

but I don't have your number.

Is that a question, exactly?

Fine, can I have your number?

Well, only because
you asked so nicely.

What are you doing?

Getting a pen.

Just put it on
my phone, are you...

No, I'm writing it down.

This is a test, Logan.

Will you put my
number in your phone

or do you lose this
piece of paper?

Okay.

I hope you pass.

You have to grab it too.

Is this is another test?

No.

I got it.

I let you get it.

Walk you to your car?

Yes, please.

It's like we never see
each other at our parties.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

You're always
busy playing host.

You are too, you know.

It's not a complaint.

It's just nice to get
some me and you time.

Even if it's after
everyone else's left?

Who leaves their
drink in a plant?

You think we'll have
this party forever?

Yeah, of course.

I don't know.

It's just such a thing.

And I love that it's a thing.

It's our thing.

But do you think
we'll do it forever?

I guess I just kind of
assumed that we would.

Do you feel stuck with me?

Where is this coming from?

Do you feel stuck with me?

I just want to make sure that
we're progressing, you know.

Our life is changing.

It's not stagnant.

I'm happy just the way we are.

Are you the way
you are forever?

This is a tradition.

We have thrown this party
at this very apartment

for the last seven years.

It's special.

People look forward to it.

I look forward to it.

I know, I do too.

I just want to make sure
that we're growing together.

I think that's
what we're doing.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Maybe people don't
account for the longer commute.

Only a few minutes after

when we said it would start.

Yeah, but Natalie
always shows up early.

That's when
she was coming alone.

Well,
what about Cliff?

He's always obnoxiously early.

Well that's when
all he had to do

was come across the hallway.

You're right.

It's fine, it's fine.

What if nobody wants
to drive this far?

Oh honey, put
yourself in their shoes.

You would drive
an extra 3 minutes

to go to your dear
friend's Christmas party.

No, I probably stay in my
PJ's and binge-watch garbage TV.

Oh.

Oh, ah, move, scoot, scoot.

Okay, all right, yep, yep.

Oh wow!

Come on in.

No trouble parking this year.

Did you hear that, Annie?

She's real!

Sequels are never as
good as the originals.

They would not make one

if the first one weren't
really, really good.

And just the alchemy
of trying to make two

or more great films is something

that almost no one can achieve.

Empire, Dark Knight, Aliens.

Wow, wow, okay.

First of all, "Alien"
was a masterpiece.

But Reiser!

They could both be great.

This is Thunderdome.

Two men enter, one
man leaves, Tom.

Doug is such a sore loser.

Our first date, I
beat him at Catan.

She handed me
my hat.

I thought there might
not be a second date,

the way he was
sulking afterward.

Knowing Doug,
there had to be one

so there could be a rematch.

Which I won, handily.

I'll get it.

There was no such
thing as an untouchable enemy.

Okay, you probably like
the special additions.

We're gonna go there?

And before you say anything
and I have to play dumb,

your mom already
spilled the beans.

Congratulations!

It just happened!

She promised she
wouldn't tell anyone.

I love your mom, but we both
know she can't keep a secret.

She's been planning your
wedding since we were kids.

Your home is beautiful.

Oh, that's very
sweet of you to say.

We're still settling in.

The tree looks good.

This time of year.

Any more than that
would be weird, right?

Adler, come see
Tom in the kitchen.

If Picasso
had better paint,

he'd go back and tinker.

No, he would know that
each painting was done.

An artist knows when to stop.

Speaking of
knowing when to stop.

Come on, man, you're on
my side for this, right?

I don't...

Tom, you remember Adler.

I'll be back.

I'll be back.

Hey, welcome to the family.

You locked it down quick.

Yeah, couldn't let
someone else snap her up.

I already you let her get
away once in high school.

Unsolicited wedding advice,

do not forget to eat
the hors d'oeuvres.

I didn't get a chance
to have a single one

because we were
busy taking pictures

during the cocktail hour.

And he's still
talking about it.

Well you know.

Get over it.

Natalie, come talk.

Do you have a date yet?

It literally
happened this week.

Annie, the last few weeks
have been such a whirlwind.

I mean, we must be getting old

because we started talking
about marriage really quick.

You are not old.

Says the woman who's
been married six years.

Seven.

- Hmm.
- Ugh, I'm old.

Oh wow, look at
those little fingers,

and those itty-bitty nails.

Oh, you're
a natural with her.

I thought I was a natural too

until I changed my first diaper.

She is adorable, but
she is vindictive.

Are you vindictive?

Yes, okay.

Well that sums that up.

I love your dress.

What do you say?

Say thank you?

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Can you give him a high five?

Wow, thank you!

You're so cute.

Oh, hey man!

Hey, Cliff!

What's up?

Oh, classy move
bringing the booze.

I just brought myself.

Okay.

Ow.

Hey, can you open
this up for me?

You look great.

You're so cute!

Happy maiden voyage!

Oh.

Oh no.

I messed that up.

I brought the beer.

Ah, did you get
thirsty on the way in?

Oh, that.

I got Cliff-ed on the way in.

Ah, well, when in Rome.

Ah, Heisler my favorite.

You've got great taste.

It's your first time
to the new place, yeah?

It is, it is.

Yeah, man, I wish I could
have come over sooner.

I just, I went home
a lot this year, so.

Yeah.

You hanging in there?

Can we just talk
about the fact

that Doug is in the other
room taking pictures

with a real live human woman?

Yes, I know, that
is his girlfriend.

What?

It's a Clarkmas miracle!

I guess there's hope for
all of us, huh?

Yeah.

Oh, I'm sorry man.

I'm so rude, Logan.

Adler.

How do you know these
troublemakers, huh?

Work buddy?

Adler is Natalie's fiance.

That's right.

Nice to meet you.

Have you gotten
used to it yet?

Fiance?

By the time we got used to
it, we were already married.

Yeah, how do you know Tom?

I've known Logan
since junior high.

We were both in the magic club.

He wanted to be Penn and Teller,

but neither one of us could
agree to be the short one.

Obviously, it's probably me.

That's really funny.

I bet you guys were so
funny in the magic club.

Adler, is it?

Yeah, that's my name.

Huh.

What are you working on?

What do you do, Adler?

I'm an attorney actually.

Wow.

Pretty boring
most of the time.

What kind of law
do you practice?

That's professional liability

at a mid-level firm downtown.

Mid-level, huh.

Ah, who was it that
said, first thing we do,

let's kill all the lawyers?

Huh?

Shakespeare.

Yeah, people sure do love
to bring up that quote.

So I know it was
Shakespeare that said it.

You don't need to
patronize me, Georgetown.

Oh, actually went to Stanford.

Logan, did you see we got a
photo booth set up this year?

We always come up with some
way to outdo ourselves.

Don't be mad at me.

I didn't want to go
to law school either.

Man, what is your problem?

What are you
talking about, man?

Come on.

You want her to take
pictures, let's take pictures!

Dude, I'm fine.

You don't seem...

This would
be the photo booth.

What do you think,
this my color?

Is everything okay?

Yeah, I'm great, man.

We haven't talked in a
while, which is fine,

but I got a promotion
in the fall.

That's great.

I'm a director now.

Director of technical marketing.

That's a great title, right?

- Yeah.
- It's great.

I'm great.

Life is great.

Great.

Exactly.

Aw buddy, looks
like you're the one

that needs to lighten up, huh?

- Here's a boa.
- Okay.

Hey listen.

We do not need to take
a picture right now.

We need to get
one for your mom.

Come on, she doesn't
have enough pictures.

He is
funny, isn't he?

Hi Logan.

I hear congratulations
are in order.

Yes, they are.

Did you just get here?

Thought you would have
ghosted the party.

Nah, I was just chatting it up

with good Adler
here in the kitchen.

So, we have a wedding date yet?

Huh?

Am I on the list?

No, we're going to tour
venues over the holidays

and then we're
gonna pick a date.

Well, I call dibs on
going to the cake tasting.

That'll be awhile.

Oh, speaking of tastings.

Nina's invitation-only
cookies have arrived.

If you'll excuse me.

Oh my gosh, Nina!

So, Adler.

Adler, you
know what they say?

Never trust a guy
with two last names.

I think it's two
first names actually.

Is that right?

Mm-hm.

Huh, what do you think, Adley?

Addie?

You know what I think,

I think I'm gonna go get
some of that famous eggnog

that everyone
keeps talking about

and leave you two to catch up.

But Hey, really nice
talking to you, man.

Thanks, man.

- Hey, speaking of eggnog.
- Yeah?

Why don't you grab me a glass
while you're in there, huh?

I would love to.

You ghosted me, not
the other way around.

Oh my God, that
was months ago.

Yeah, exactly, like
eight months ago.

But then again, who's counting?

Then you go and
rush into something

and now you're
taking it out on me?

I am not rushing
into anything.

I've known Adler
since high school.

You can't call that rushing it.

You can, when you're engaged.

If you're so worried
I'm off the market

then you shouldn't have
completely disappeared on me.

I really liked you.

And I don't know
why, but I thought

that something real was there.

And I know things were
moving really fast

and that probably scared you...

I don't need your analysis.

But then you totally
dropped off the planet.

You should have at
least called me.

You messed it up like you do.

And now you see me happy
and you have to ruin it?

I'm actually surprised you
even showed up tonight.

I thought you'd be
too much of a coward.

What if something
happened to me?

What if there's an explanation?

Is there?

I'm going back inside.

You're just angry right now

because you know you're
making a mistake.

I'm just the messenger.

Screw you.

You wish.

You are such a child.

♪ On the first day of Christmas
my true love gave to me ♪

♪ A partridge in a pear tree ♪

♪ On the second day of Christmas
my true love gave to me ♪

- Hey.
- Hey.

♪ Two turtle doves and a
partridge in a pear tree. ♪

♪ On the third day of ♪

So you going home for
the holidays this year?

Yeah.

You don't sound so
thrilled about it.

Yeah, well,

this will be my first
Christmas without my mom, so,

I gotta be there to take
care of my dad and my sister.

It's just gonna be weird.

I'm, I'm really sorry.

It is what it is.

Everybody's got to
lose a parent sometime.

I don't usually do this, but,

take another.

Please.

Mm, is that sage?

And cardamom.

That's really good.

Thank you.

We should just go, you know?

I don't...

Okay, we can go if you want,

but don't let that guy
make you leave a party

that you want to stay at.

I don't really
want to stay anymore.

Okay.

There you guys are.

We're gonna do a group photo.

That way Tom and I will know
we're at the same party.

You good?

Yeah, I'm fine.

You coming?

Yeah

I found them, okay,
everybody get in here.

We have props, not optional.

- Let's get them out.
- My idea.

It was my idea.

Yeah, yeah, Tom's idea.

Oh, mistletoe for the lovers.

- Nina, this is you.
- Yeah.

- Obviously.
- Gingerbread!

Okay, and, you ready?

One, two, three.

Clarkmas!

- All right.
- Awesome.

Hope I didn't
blink in that one.

It was so great
to see you again.

Yes, take care.

We will see you next Clarkmas.

Next Clarkmas, it's a date.

Your gingerbread, woo!

I can't wait for next year.

Yeah, there's still food.

Oh.

- Oh yeah, help yourself.
- Feel free.

- Okay.
- Okay.

All right, okay.

We did it.

Shouldn't
have bothered.

I'll put it all up,
I don't need any help.

You're dead weight.

Clarkmas isn't
happening this year.

You're being dramatic.

I am never dramatic.

We could still have a party.

This year sucks.

We're having a baby.

I have been barfing for the
last eight months straight.

There were a couple
of weeks in there

where you didn't
barf quite as much.

All my pants feel
like I'm wearing Spanx.

You think I'll be a good dad?

You'll be the best dad.

I'm being serious.

I am serious, you'll be
the best dad there ever was.

But you can't tell either
of our fathers I said that.

I'm gonna be the good cop.

That makes me the bad cop.

Well, either that or
we're both good cops

and we raise a criminal.

Well, that might
happen anyway.

If we don't make noise,
maybe they'll go away.

You're being ridiculous.

It's probably a Boppy
or some other thing

your mom insisted on ordering.

Impromptu Clarkmas?

I knew if I called, Annie
would say not to come over.

You're right!

But it's too late now,
so you have to let me in.

Is that true?

Yes, come in.

I come bearing gifts.

Well, unless your
gift is a flat stomach

and a painless delivery,
I'm not interested.

She's been like
this all month.

Don't
mansplain your wife.

That's not mansplaining.

Oh, I'm sorry,

would you like to explain
to me what mansplaining is?

Actually, I
think Tom is right.

He was simply complaining.

You're embarking on a
brand new adventure.

The next chapter.

She's not the only one.

Oh right, excuse me, Tom.

You too.

But you too, Nat.

If the timing's right, this
could be baby's first wedding.

About that.

Oh God, what?

Oh, don't say it like that.

Well, what were you gonna say?

Adler and I are
calling it off.

What?

Oh my gosh, are you okay?

No, no, it's fine.

It's, yeah, I'm fine.

It's ah, yeah, we're both fine.

How'd it happen?

Tom!

How did it happen?

Well, it was very
mature, actually.

Extremely.

We had just had dinner at
his dad and step-mom's house

for Thanksgiving.

And that went great, by the way.

They are very lovely people.

But we were, you know,
done with dinner,

on the way to the
airport, and we were stuck

in this crappy
rental car, you know,

crawling our way towards O'Hare.

And I picked this
moment for some reason,

in horrible traffic,
to turn to him and say,

this is never gonna
work, you know?

He was so weird and
quiet after I said it.

Maybe because of the shock

or maybe because
he agreed with me.

So I just rambled on about how
we were really great friends,

but that we were never in love.

And we really enjoyed
each other's company,

but it wasn't
electric or something.

And of course an
accident is ahead.

So we are stuck in this
bumper to bumper traffic,

followed by an
airplane ride to LA.

Definitely should have
waited till after you landed.

And then we, we
talked about, you know,

what to do, you know,
how to figure it all out.

But funny thing is we're
supposed to fly back

for Christmas Eve with
my parents and his mom

and his two brothers.

And we haven't told them yet.

Nobody knows, and we're
supposed to fly tomorrow.

And I just feel like my mom is
gonna be really upset.

Now I have all of this
tacky wedding shit

that I really don't need.

Oh honey.

That's what E-bay is for.

Not for monogram napkins.

No, Yeah.

That's gonna be
tough to get rid of.

It's okay.

Oh, all right.

I found the last
box of decorations.

Who wants to help me decorate?

Is this gonna hold this up?

Oh yeah.

This mantle was born
to house some acorns.

Those are pine cones, Tom.

Huh?

Pine cones.

You need to center it first.

Don't pull the tape
until you have a centered

and know where you want it.

Okay, tape's ready to go.

One step, two step.

A little high, Natalie, a
little lower on your side.

That's what I was thinking.

Where are you gonna tape it?

I don't know.

Wherever you tell us.

That's good.

That's good.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Great.

Tom, it's not here.

Did you finish the last of it?

Guilty.

Are you serious?

It's hot chocolate season.

I'll go get some.

No, you don't have to.

Are you kidding me?

I'm gonna go down to that store
and I'm gonna track it down.

I'm gonna find your
most very favorite brand

and we are having hot chocolate
whether you like it or not.

Thank you.

I think
you're gonna like it.

Tom's lucky to have you.

Yeah, I'm pretty
lucky to have him too.

Just crazy to think how
it's all gonna change

in a matter of weeks.

Or less.

Could be early.

Please don't say that.

Seriously though, I
mean, people always assume

that the first is late,
but my college roommate,

she had her baby
three weeks early.

Well, I'd rather
not think about that.

But I do think that you
should pack a to-go bag

or something, or
whatever they call it.

Can you just stop?

It's like the second
one you get pregnant,

that's all people want
to talk to you about.

Adler's a stupid
name, by the way.

It is.

- It is.
- Total deal breaker.

You really dodged
bullet on that one.

Thank you.

Yeah, if only that
was the only flaw.

He was so boring.

Like milk toast.

Like I Ken doll, but
with less personality.

What was I thinking?

Ah, you want some more music?

Would that be nice?

Yeah, sure.

What you putting on?

Oh, wouldn't you like to know?

Okay, all right.

Go Annie, go Annie.

Don't laugh at me!

I'm liking it.

I don't know, this is my
idea of a party these days.

I guess so.

You sad you didn't
have your party?

Yeah, sure.

But you know, we didn't
know how I'd be feeling

or if the baby would come early.

So it didn't make
sense this year.

It was the right choice.

You can still
be bummed though.

The party's never
gonna be the same.

Our lives aren't
gonna be the same.

That is true.

Don't say that.

Well, it is true though.

I mean, you're
starting a new chapter.

You should be excited.

But if I had known last year

was gonna be the last
year we had the party.

Annie, I think you're being
a little dramatic right now.

You don't get it.

You still have your
life ahead of you.

But with every
choice that I make,

it's like I'm saying
goodbye to the life I have.

And I really like my life.

Well then why don't you
be a little more like me,

and avoid every choice
that you could make?

I didn't mean...

You have it all, and
here you are complaining

about checking off your
next life achievement?

That's not what I was saying.

Then what are you saying?

That you have a perfect
life and a perfect baby?

Poor you.

It's just really hard when
you see everyone around you

doing all the things
that you want to do,

and you realize it might not
ever be in the cards for you.

Natalie?

That's why I said yes to
Adler in the first place,

you know?

To go down the path
and join the club.

Natalie?

There's no point in
going down the path

just because you're afraid
you have an expiration date.

Annie?

Annie!

I'm pretty sure that
was a contraction.

What?

I am pretty sure
that was a contraction.

What do I do?

You need to, you
need to time it.

You need to get a timer.

Okay.

It's timing, it's timing.

It was an impulse buy!

Oh!

Yeah, the last one was
about 10 minutes ago.

Okay.

Yeah, she's drinking
water already.

So that's great.

Now do I need to call before
we leave or can I just go?

Okay.

And do I personally need
to bring extra clothes?

Of course not, okay.

Oh, okay, thank you.

Okay, what?

So do we go now?

We need to wait.

They need to be less
than 10 minutes apart

for an hour straight.

An hour straight?

Oh my God.

I'm going to take a bath.

Great idea.

Do you need me?

You've already done enough.

Never have children.

Right.

Who's ready for hot chocolate?

Do you need to talk
about the Adler stuff?

No.

Annie exhausted that topic.

Because if you wanted to
talk about it, I'm here.

Is Annie okay?

Aside from the human trying
to claw its way out of her?

You know what I mean.

She doesn't like the
thing she can't control.

I ordered myself a
Nintendo Switch last night.

Oh.

I'm supposed to
be an adult now,

but it feels like the closer
we get, the more I revert.

You don't have to say anything.

I think I just needed
to tell somebody.

I peeked into the nursery
on my way to the bathroom.

It's perfect.

You think so?

Mm-hm.

Logan came over last week
to help assemble the crib.

There are a lot of pieces.

They're confusing.

How is he?

Logan?

Good, yeah.

Feel a lot better.

Doing some traveling with work,
going to some cool places.

Sort of seeing someone.

Wow, good for him.

Yeah.

Have you met her?

Yeah, actually.

She hosted a game
night back in October.

That I won.

Wow.

That's really cool for him.

Is that Doug?

Doug is getting married?

Yeah.

You remember Katrina?

Wow.

Isn't that great?

What, I can mean it and
still feel sorry for myself.

Okay.

That's just the case.

These really don't show how
long this all takes, do they?

You're telling me.

Don't you dare take a
picture of me in this state.

It's Clarkmas.

This is not Clarkmas.

Oh, who says that it isn't?

Tom, lean in.

She's only getting
half your head.

Yeah.

Oh!

Say cheese.

Cheese.

Oh.

Can I see?

- Big, happy family.
- Ah.

Annie do...

That's the worst picture of
me in the history of photos.

That is not true.

Let's do another one.

Say baby.

Baby.

Tom, what was that?

Nothing, it's all good.

It didn't sound like nothing.

Broken glass
never really hurt anyone.

I won't fall for
that old trick.

Oh, you woke her up.

Yeah, that definitely
wasn't you calling to me

from the other room?

Do you wanna get
her or should I?

I'm on it.

Oh, I have a stockpile
of bottles in the fridge.

I pumped extra so I can
have a drink tonight.

Oh, cheers to you.

I'll get it.

Oh, we made it.

I didn't think Hudson
was gonna cooperate.

Follow him.

It is a wonder we ever
got out of the house.

Don't ever have a second child.

Hello Miss Eloise!

Merry Christmas.

I thought I'd be the first
one here, it's tradition.

We started early
for the family crowd.

Are you enjoying the party?

Can you say hi?

- Hi.
- Hi!

I'm so glad you came.

Why wouldn't I?

It's just nice to see
someone without a diaper bag.

No diapers here.

You want to hold that clicker?

Oh my.

You think you can
push the button?

Can you take the picture?

Okay, let's try it.

Woo!

Good job!

Tom Decided to set up
drinks out back this year.

So grab yourself a drink
and I'll be right back.

I'm just gonna help
him put down Eloise.

These are amazing.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

My son, my son got them for me.

Hudson?

Hudson, yeah,
he's a sweetheart.

But aggressive sometimes.

But what I'm saying is that
aggression isn't innately bad.

My mother-in-law keeps undoing

everything we've been working on

and she's staying three
weeks this Christmas.

Oh my God.

Yay for me.

I don't think we've
met yet, I'm Natalie.

Annie's cousin.

Oh, that's so
sweet of you to come.

Great outfit.

Thanks.

And what do you do?

I'm a psychologist.

Wow, that's so neat.

Thanks.

Yeah, I really like it.

I wasn't sure I'd find
my place in the field,

but I'm very happy.

You must have
your life together.

No.

Everybody knows that therapists

are the worst at relationships.

What do you do?

I'm a divorce attorney.

That seems aggressive.

I'm not playing!

Hello, hello!

Hot Mama!

Nina, you made it!

And I brought my best sellers,
the holiday macaroon trio,

gingerbread, peppermint,
spiced eggnog.

Oh!

Is it gauche if I put out
business cards next to them?

Oh my God, I love it.

Let me see.

Oh, my mom friends are gonna
flip when they see these.

You were going to be doing
every child's birthday party

for the next 18 years.

Cha-ching, cha-ching.

Yeah, that's the spirit.

We're leaving
tomorrow for New York.

Red eye is the only way to
get Hudson across the country.

We've avoided
any flights so far.

I made everyone come to us.

Yeah, but that won't
last forever, man.

Knock knock, the
party can start now.

Hey!

Hey!

I still miss just walking
across the hallway

to get to your party.

At least you
don't have to worry

about us burning your
place down with ours.

Where's the baby?

I'm really good with kids.

We actually just put her down,

but I am sure she'll
be up again soon.

Hey, is that your car

with the Baby on
Board sticker on it?

No, we're the Prius.

Oh good, good.

Because I really resent
those Baby on Board cars.

I just don't get it, you know?

It's like, what are
they trying to say?

Like don't hit my car
because I have a kid?

All right, I won't do it.

They suddenly want me
to be a good driver

to avoid hitting
this stranger's brat.

Or they're just bragging
about having a kid,

which is not really impressive.

A lot of people have kids.

Rats have kids.

Rats have a lot of kids.

There's just the kids
all over the place.

They could be having kids right
under this floor right now.

Anyone could have a kid, right?

It's my car actually.

Cool.

That's cool.

No, it's real cool.

I like a good Honda.

That's a good sturdy,
sturdy vehicle.

Good reliable, reliable car.

This is Mike.

Mike.

Cliff.

Cliff.

Rats?

Yeah.

Babe, just because
your parents are visiting

doesn't mean I have to
be on good behavior.

They're sleeping
in the living room,

you can't play video games
while they're in there.

I am very quiet.

Not when you lose.

I'm gonna get the door.

First of all, I rarely lose.

Second of all, I wear a headset.

You know how I know you lost
three campaigns last night?

I heard you lose three
campaigns last night.

Oh, hello.

Hey, it's nice to see you.

Come on in.

Just fill it with sugar water,
the hummingbirds love that.

Oh, I just did that actually.

Hey buddy.

Hey!

How you doing?

Been a while.

Good to see you.

You too.

Why don't I take
this into the kitchen?

As long as I get
the credit for it.

That sweater's ridiculous.

You know that, right?

You don't like this sweater?

I didn't say didn't like it,

I said it's ridiculous.

Another bottle to
add to the stash.

Ooh.

It's from Logan, actually.

This one's fancy.

I know.

The party is a huge success.

You think so?

My catty mommy and me
friends left a little early.

But that's because their kid

almost gave that other
kid a concussion.

Hudson, he's a maniac.

They have another
shot with the sister,

so far she seems sweet.

I don't know,
that's debatable.

Yeah.

But it's good that
you had the party.

Well, why wouldn't I?

I just thought you
might not want it now.

Well, things may be different,

but some things never change.

I hope it hasn't been
too boring for you.

No, I've never been
more excited to see Cliff,

but watching him offend
your new friends,

it's like a sport
in itself, really.

Oh, could you grab Tom to
do the chestnuts with me?

It's his project this year.

We are roasting
chestnuts for the party.

Nice.

I got a special pan.

That's a cool pan.

It is.

I'll get Tom.

- Ready?
- Mm-hm.

Go.

Perfect.

That was great.

You know, mistletoe
is parasitic.

Well, would you look at
that, some you and me time

at one of our parties.

Well about about that.

People could
walk in, you know.

Then let them
walk in and watch.

What was that?

We were supposed
to cut them first!

Oh!

Oh, you're right.

Okay, grab a, grab a shield.

Protect yourself.

They're coming down hard.

Stay alive.

Oh gosh.

Watch your
face, I'm going in.

You look pretty
lonely out here.

Is that your
diagnosis, doctor?

Yes, I will have my
secretary bill you.

How's the party?

There's only so many
conversations you can have

about daycare and sleep
training, but c'est la vie.

La vie.

So what's your news?

What's new in the
world of Logan?

I bought a condo in the fall.

Wow, congratulations!

That's, that's adulting!

My dad helped me
with the down payment.

Still amazing.

And you?

Ugh, so I have to try
and impress you now?

It's just conversation.

Well, if you've read
my family Christmas card,

you'd know that I took up piano,

traveled to Spain and
joined a mid-sized practice

taking care of at-risk
children and teens.

They're not really
at risk per se,

but my mom wanted it
to sound important.

I need to get on this
Christmas card list.

Some years she writes a poem.

She retired three years ago.

Hey, I'm sorry things
didn't work out with Adler.

You remember his name.

It's good you two
broke up though.

Now listen, hear me out.

You two are both so good-looking

that your children would come
out abnormally good looking,

like so symmetrical
that it's weird.

What?

Here's that laugh.

Would it be rude for me to ask
what happened with you two?

Yes, incredibly.

You know when a ship
steers too far to one side,

and then it overcompensates
in the other direction?

I guess I was so critical of
everyone that I had been dating

that I completely ignored
the red flags with Adler.

And eventually I
woke up and realized

that I was never
in love with him.

I'm glad you realized how
critical you were of me.

I did want to say I'm sorry.

I was a real dick and
I messed things up.

Which dick thing
are you referring to?

I really liked you
and it terrified me.

And then when all the stuff
started happening with my mom,

she got sick and I
just, I closed off.

I just disappeared.

And everything started
to snowball and I just,

I shut everyone out.

And by the time she
passed, I just felt

like too much time had
gone by for me to call you.

I know it sounds stupid,

but I thought maybe I
could explain everything

at their party, but then I
showed up and you were engaged.

And I just felt like I,
if I told you everything,

I didn't want to
ruin your engagement.

Okay, maybe I did, a little.

Look, I said, I liked
you in the past tense,

but the truth is
I still like you.

Does it help at all if I say

that I've been
meaning to call you?

Come on, you can't
just be silent.

We're getting
ready for the photo booth,

get in here.

We better get inside.

Did you hear
anything I just said?

I did.

and I, I appreciate it.

But Logan, I just, I can't.

We already gave it a chance.

I'm really sorry.

So we're all in it together.

Squeeze uncomfortably close.

Okay.

One, two, three.

Clarkmas!

Yay!

Hey, thank you everybody.

Thank you.

You can go back to the party.

Thank you for doing your duty.

Drinks, food, we
still have food.

So I saw you guys
outside chatting.

How'd that go?

It was nice, man.

It was, you know, obviously
haven't talked to her

for a long time, so it
was good to catch up.

Great.

It's not happening.

I put it all out there, man,
but it's, it's too late.

I missed my shot.

You know, Annie and I are
doing a little low key thing

for new year's, you
should come over for it.

Nah, I got, I got some
friends invited me to a party.

I think they're
trying to set me up.

Ah-ha, okay, that's great.

Be open to that.

You never know.

Yeah, totally.

Destroy that one please.

It's the best one.

I'm really glad it worked out.

Yah, me too.

It's a great turnout this year.

I mean, us.

You're being weird.

No, you know what
I mean, I just.

We were lucky.

Like it's not always that easy.

It is not always that easy.

No.

I think it's your turn.

Mm-hm.

I think it is.

Mm-hm.

Yeah, I'm not keeping
count, though, I'm not.

Eloise, sh,
sh, sh, you're okay.

Hey!

Oh, wow.

You're going out.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, of course.

How did you get my address?

Tom gave it to me.

You're perpetually late, so
maybe a few minutes later

won't be a big deal.

Huh, your place is really clean.

Are we really doing this?

So I thought about what
I was gonna say to you

and how I was gonna deliver it.

And well, I brought some props.

So can you please just sit down,

be quiet and be a good listener?

Okay?

Thank you.

So I was at home, gearing
up for the ball drop

and I had this
great night planned.

I was gonna stay home
and had the nice,

relaxed new year's
that I always wanted.

And you know what?

It was nice.

I ordered delivery and,
oh shit, I ordered delivery.

Anyway, I was sitting
there and I realize

that it's not exactly
as I always wanted,

because really what I
wanted was to be with you.

And I know it's cheesy and dumb,

but I thought I might
still have a chance.

So I don't know how to play
Gin Rummy, but I Googled it,

and I saw that you just
needed a deck of cards.

And I wasn't sure what
brand your Nana liked,

but this was on sale.

On sale was her brand.

Okay, shh.

I know you don't care about
watching the ball drop,

but I do.

So I thought we could
compromise with this doohickey.

Three, two, one, ah!

Happy New Year!

Whatever you want to
do when the ball drops.

Can I talk now?

Not yet.

Look, I thought about what
you said the other night

and you did make some
mistakes, and I did too.

And that's okay.

And look, I still
think I was right,

that we gave it a chance,
but I want to be wrong.

And who knows if
we're meant to be,

but I want to be.

It sounded so much
better on drive over.

Okay, you may speak now.

Since when do you
believe in meant to be?

I'm reconsidering my position.

You know, I'm supposed
to this warehouse party.

I see what you're doing,

you're trying to make me squirm.

I think it's working.

Can you just kiss me already?

♪ Should auld
acquaintance be forgot ♪

Just one thing, you know

how you said you liked
me the other night?

You really should
have said love.

Could have avoided
this whole wait

if you had just said love.

Yeah but, then you
wouldn't be groveling.

I am not groveling.

Begging?

Romancing.

Pleading.

Soliloquy-ing.

I love you, Natalie.

Especially when you grovel.

♪ We'll take a cup
of kindness yet ♪

♪ For auld lang syne ♪

♪ Another year gone by ♪

♪ Another Christmas
time has come and gone ♪

♪ Another mistletoe ♪

♪ Another ho-ho-ho ♪

♪ Another Christmas song ♪

♪ Christmas time
comes once a year ♪

♪ Filled with family,
friends and cheer ♪

♪ To days gone by ♪

♪ So raise your glass
and drink a toast ♪

♪ To the wish we wish the most ♪

♪ We'll be together here ♪

♪ At Christmas time next year ♪

♪ Another year gone by ♪

♪ Another Christmas time ♪

♪ Another mistletoe,
oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Another silent night ♪

♪ And all those pretty lights ♪

♪ Say we'll be together here ♪

♪ At Christmas time next year ♪

♪ At Christmas time next year ♪

♪ We'll be together here ♪

♪ At Christmas time next year ♪

♪ We'll be together here ♪

♪ At Christmas time next year ♪

♪ We'll be together here ♪

♪ At Christmas time next year ♪