Scavenger Hunt (1979) - full transcript

Milton Parker has made millions inventing and selling games. Upon his death, his relatives and domestic staff gather for the reading of the will. However, Old Mr. Parker is a game player to the last, and his will stipulates that a Scavenger Hunt will be held to determine the beneficiaries of his sizeable estate. The winning team gets all the money, the rest get nothing.

Okay, okay, now it's my turn.
Come on, let me play.

Watch it, I'm gonna jump off now.

I love to see it hop like this, don't you?

Uh-oh, here I come, I'm
in your melon patch now.

Okay, here I go, I'm getting points.
Oh, look at me go!

Soft landing? Uh-oh!



Here I go! I'm jumping now?

Uh-oh, here I come.
The stud pond, 5,000 points!

Oh wow Mr. Parker, I've
never gone this far before.

Let's not be a bad sport, Mr. Parker. Come on.

You wanna play? Okay, it's your turn.
Go ahead start. Here we go.

Jump off. Here goes your little
9w, hop, hop, hop-

oh, you're doing real good.

Into the fly feast, yummy, yummy!

You're by the breeding pond! Lucky you!

Uh-oh, watch out for traffic, here comes the
truck, be careful.

Here you go.

Down, oh, up.

Look at all these points you're getting.
You're gonna be a father.

Look at all your little
tadpoles, aren't they adorable?

Watch it now,

there's a little danger here, be careful.
Uh-oh, uh-oh,

uh-oh, you got warts. Oh no, you got gas.

Swamp gas is the worst kind.

Oh dear, oh dear, you're
losing so many points.

Oh dear, you're on the way to biology.

Oh no!

Oh, dear.

Well, looks like I beat the inventor at his
own game.

Mr. Parker? Don't play games, Mr. Parker.

Mr. Parker? Mr. Parker? Mr. Parker.


Mr. Parker.

There, there.

Jump off.


Oh Georgie, will you grow up?

You know something? I think
that girl's got potential.

Mm, I don't know.

Don't cry, love.

Hey, give her a break. Can you imagine
having to live with Georgie and Mildred?

Yeah, you got a point.

Yeah, yeah. I know, I know.

Hi, Stuart selsome, attorney at law.
You people serving any coffee or rolls?

You people?

I am sorry, no offense.

Say, you must be the cook. You got any
scrambled eggs and bacon, anything like that?

I'm not a short order cook,
I'm a master chef.

Isn't there anything? Peanut
butter and jelly? Anything?

I am sorry, sir, but the kitchen
is not within my domain.

There is peanut butter.


There, there, Mrs. carruthers.

You're over doing it.

I loved him like a brother.

He was your brother.

And a very, very dear one.

I just wish we could get this over with.

We can't start Mrs. carruthers
until everyone is here.

We can't start what until who gets here.

Told you he didn't tell me anything.

Jenkins. Jenkins.

Yes madam.

The servants have carried on so bravely.

Admit it, would you admit it? C'mon.
You took it out of my room.

Morning Jenkins.

It was mine in the first place!

My standard one.

- How are the children?
- Everywhere.

I found the sweater too.
And the biggest brat too.

Stop it.


Would you guys cut it out. Cut it out! You too!

Bad news bears break parole.

All right, kids. We're gonna behave
for dear old dad huh? Just this once?

Please, can't we get on with this now?

Yes, we can Mrs. carruthers.

I'm Charles Bernstein.

Attorney for the late Milton Parker.

You mean somebody else is late now?

And now executor of his estate, an
estate valued at $200 million.

A few weeks ago, Milton Parker, probably realizing
that he had passed go for the last time,

recorded a message just for you to be played
on the first Sunday following his death.

The message becomes his
last will and testament.

All right you vultures,
first the formal garbage.

I, Milton Parker, being of sound mind and body.

And I thought he was dead.

Name as my heirs, my sister,
Mildred carruthers,

and her son Georgie. And
her step daughter Lisa.

My baby.

My nephews, Jeffrey and Kenny Stevens.

My late daughter's husband, Henry
motley and their children.


My personal staff, Jackson, Henri,
babette and Jenkins.

And last and certainly least, Marvin dummitz

who can't possibly know why he is here today.

Hey, who's asking on me? Who cares?

It's great just to be here, sorry,
i missed that funeral.

On the day of the big corporate showdown,

my business partner had the misfortune
of hailing a cab driven by that idiot, dummitz.

My partner never made it to the meeting.

From that day on, the business was mine.

So that's the lineup.

Now for the good stuff.

My motto was play to win and so you scavengers,

that's how my estate will be
resolved by playing a game.

A scavenger hunt, to be exact.
Winner take all.

Why you old bugger.

The ultimate game.

Please. Please.

You will each get an identical list of clues.

Each clue identifies an item
to get except by purchase.

Each item has a different point value.

The inheritor of my estate
will be the person.

Or team that collects the most points by
exactly 5 o'clock this afternoon. That's it.

Why'd that worm.

What's he trying to prove?
Georgie and I are his legitimate heirs.

Why should we have to play some dumb
game just to get what's rightfully ours?

Just a moment, Mrs. carruthers.
I would like to wrap this up.

No, you wait a moment, Bernstein. Why
should this moron get a chance at my money?

And the same goes for
motley and his litter.

And he was only related by marriage.

And the servants aren't even related by
marriage. I'm going to contest this will.

That's the point, Mrs.
carruthers, this will

is a contest. Now, if
you'll all follow me.

Let's go kids. Come on, come on.

Georgie, you're nasty.

All right.

I thought, you were represented me.

Does everyone have to walk so fast?

Eccentricity isn't illegal but
it sure is a pain in the ass.

Don't you talk that way to me.

200 million dollars. How
do you like that $200

million? I can't believe
that it's 200 million.

I'll kill you.


That, boom.

This is war.

Mother, would you like-

we have been together for a long time. I see
no reason to discontinue the association.

Oh yes, I get the meaning, pie four
ways is better than no pie at all.

Then we are in agreement?

Totally complete. Every
which way if you like.

Yes, yes, of course, pie is
my most favorite dessert.

Mother, mother, I have to talk to you.

What is it?

Does she have to come with us?

Never been good at anything, especially money.

Why should she get a share.

I never liked her anyway.

I think it would be better if you wait
here, until we're finished with this mess.

You know how easily you tire.

But mother, it's Georgie
that gets tired, not me.

Why you!

Save your breath.

Attention, please.


I want you to meet mr cornfield,

the gentleman with the calculator in his
hand, who will tabulate your point totals.

To sum up,

each of these lists is identical. It
contains the clues, for 100 items.

Each item has its own point value.

The winner of the event, will be the team
or the person who collects the most points.

Acquire the items, anywhere
you chose except by purchase.

And store them in the areas,
designated on your list.

Remember, as long as an item
is in your pen, its point

belong to your team. Back
at 5 o'clock, that's it?

Give me that. Give me that.

Get one..

Open it. Open it.

Mr. dummitz. You'll need one of these.

Mother! Mother, where are you going?

Run, hurry up.


Wait a minute.


Nobody's leaving us behind.

Wait, where is the best
place to hunt scavengers?

Press on, faster, faster.

Bombs away!

All right, gang.
This is it, a real team effort.

I do.

- Let's go.
- You're so immature.

I know what that means.

Time to shake, little brother.

Well come on, let's go.

Daddy, where are we running?

Come on.

You wanna come with us?

No, that's all right, thank you, anyway.
Really, you guys, you don't have to do this.

Don't worry, 200 million three ways is not bad.

Come on.

What are you waiting for?

A full share.

You bloodsucking ambulance chaser.

Mother, we don't have any choice, it's his car.

Why don't you call a taxi, Mildred?

Come on, come on, move it.

Good luck!

It's a deal!

Screw you!

What do you mean? Honk,
honk, beep, beep, beep!

Get out!

Move it, or I'll move it for you!

I'll kill you!

You want me to move it?

I'll move it!

What's going on?

Number one. To mention
it, is not very dapper.

It was invented by a
man, named crapper.


John crapper, to be exact.

John crapper.

Stop breathing down my neck, will you?

Shut up and keep driving, selsome.

Where was I?

This bear you'll win.

Is always stuffed, it can be
yours if throw hard enough.

That's kind of cute, this could be fun.

I got it. A stuffed bear. Like you find in
the carnival like you win in a carnival...

Forget it, you wont find any carnival
around here. I want a bear..

Back up.

There it is! Go back down there!

Back up! Hurry up!


Quite so. But nevertheless, worth 40 points.

Great, where do we find a toilet?

Everywhere, they are everywhere.

Yeah, but where do we get one?

It's not the where, it's the how.

To start with, let us find the where and
worry about the how, when we get there.


ta daa.

Piece of cake.

That's a pretty small piece of cake. 5 points.

Yeah but it's a start

it's a start.

What's this?

This is the where.

The hotel mont Clair?

Now for the how.

This is where, all the animals are.

All right take a shot.

Easy bear.

Step right up here burn them in.

Shuck em in here, you'll have a
ball, good luck sir. There you go.

Okay. Hey looks like we
got a real athlete here,

you're gonna break this booth I can tell.
This is gonna be will you stop..

You miss.

Don't worry I used to be an all-star
pitcher in high school.

Now he's smokin em in now, isn't he?

Look at him go.


My turn, I'm next.

Not now Georgie, not now. - Now!

You'll get overheated dear.

What are you doing selsome?
We're wasting time.

Oh he's just setting his sights ma'am.
You gotta real don drysdale here.

- Just gimme the balls drew.
- Oh yes sir, yes sir.

Your change will be right here sir.

Well I'm next.

I better be.

Stop screwing around selsome.
We're wasting time.

Too high.

- No kidding.
- Setting your sights huh?

Too high!

I know, I know!


Too low!

Trouble with number two?

Number two?
- Two, right.

C'mon fellas, c'mon.


I guess we meant number three.

Here we go.


This is what happens when you don't
take care of your equipment properly.

That sound is pitiful.

Faulty flush.

I didn't hear anything wrong.

Well come on guys. We're not getting paid time
and a half to stand around chit chatting.

Do you have a work order?

Rolls Royce, grill.

Rolls Royce, grill.

Where am I gonna get a rolls Royce grill?

Rolls Royce grill.

Get em selsome, get em in!

I'll hit it any time now.
I'm finding my range.

Well god, hurry up and find it, will you.
I'm tired of standing around here.

Mildred, give me a quarter!

It's coming out of your shares.

Excuse me, here's my quarter.

Selsome. Twenty five cents.

Ok son. Fire it in there.

Hey, hey, whatdya say?

We gotta winner, we got a big winner.

Pick your prize son.

Well, that bear.

Alright, the bear it is.

The bear it is boy. Congratulations.

The bear.

I'll be right back.

You better be.

I'm losing a fortune standing here!

Scavenger hunt. It's my money.

You wanna try your luck sport?

Man named crapper.


- What have you done to yourself, for god's sake.
- Mother, may I have a quarter please?

Here spit. Not on me.


Please, please, please, quarter.

Take it. Georgie 25 cents.

Ok son. Enjoy yourself. Chuck her right
in there boy. Chuck her right in.

Throw it in there baby, that's right,
you look like a real major leaguer there.

Enjoy yourself kid.

You done this before?

Ok. Over there. Over there, alright.

Over there.

These are ribs.

No children for me after this.

Now right here kid.

See these are the bottles.

This is my body.

Now son look, my heads swelling up.

Mother, may I have another quarter?

Hey, look at this shot you got here.

It's the old Australian loop to loop.

It's amazing how you did that. You're a winner.
You're a winner.

I did it! Mother did you see!

I won, I won, I won!

I never knew it could be like this!

I want this one.
I want that one.

I want the bear mother, I want the bear!

You won the bear. Let's go!

I think I'll call you buzzy.

Hi buzzy, hi George. - Come on!


I don't understand why this thing won't move.

How can it with Henri sitting on it.

Henry, would you move your ass please.

Cordon bleu never prepared me for this.

Hurry up. - Yes, yes-

hey, there's water coming in here.

What's going on here?

Aw shit.

Oh my god! I'm so sorry!

Are you alright? Are you hurt?

Whiplash I think.

It was all my fault.

Don't report this. Can't
we settle this right here?

I don't carry any cash, but here.
You take this.

They're real diamonds.

Are the earrings real too?

Oh yes, but they were a gift.

Oh, oh my back!

Oh well, here.

Thank you so much. You were wonderful.

What the hell is going on?

What's going on in there?

Leave the talking to me. Now open the door.

Repair job sir.

Let's get a rock fellers.

What are you doing?

Well, we're taking it to the shop alright?

You're taking it to the shop?

Uh right, you see the timing
was off on the turbo flush.

Oh yes, it happens constantly.

What, what about this water?

Call a plumber. We are specialists.





How you doing sir?

You're very welcome. We'll be back Tuesday.

May I have your order please?

Oh yeah. Three jumbo Jack's.

I can't believe we're doing this.

Something to drink?
Ah, yeah, ok three milkshakes.

Chocolate, strawberry and vanilla.

Will that be all?

No! Uh, three cokes.

And uh...
- Tacos.

Uh, tacos!

Three tacos?

That's right and three Moby Jack's

pull forward to pick up your order.

No wait, onion rings!


Yes please. - What's wrong?

It won't turn.


Uh yeah. Three apple turnovers.

Is that...

Yup, that's it.


Look at that beauty. I'm gonna
get two of them with my money.

Oh, it is gorgeous.

It's British of course.

Oh god!

There's some bad roads around here.

That's it.

What's next?

- Two hundred million bucks?
- I feel terrible.

Oh yeah, you looked
like you felt terrible

taking bows, and man i
couldn't believe you two.

You mean to tell me you have
never decapitated a clown before?

- What a sheltered life.
- Isn't it a pity?

Come on Lisa don't feel
bad, bozo's in no pain.

He's still smiling.

Hey, hey look! Fat guy.

Oh wow, yeah. Fifty bonus points
for team with the heaviest person.

Alright, now start talking.
And make it good.

Hi my name is Kenny, what's yours?

Duane, why?

Well it's nice to meet you Duane.

Yeah, sure.

- Hey wait a second.
- I'm on my way to lunch.

Well how about a little appetizer?
Some onion rings?

Here you go.

Good huh?

Just like mother used to buy.

Hey, we were hoping you could help us out.

- See we're on a scavenger hunt.
- You got any ketchup?

Ketchup, he wants ketchup.

Here you go Duane. Anyway, as I was
saying we really need someone who's...

Someone who is wearing a short sleeve
checkered shirt and black sneakers.

Oh, I'm sorry it's lunchtime.

Quick give me more rings, and get
the burgers and shakes ready.

Can you uh, dig a couple of cheeseburgers?

How come you guys got all this food?

It's just our style. I mean that's the
way we like to do things. Right Jeff?

That's right.


Here, why don't you wash
that burger down with this.

As I was saying, we really
need someone with black

sneakers and your kind of
shirt to come with us.

It sounds fantastic, but I gotta eat.

How about a taco? - Uh no.

Oh I know, we have got the most
beautiful little apple turnovers.


Hey Kenny, we're gonna be
late to pick up those pizzas.


That's right.

Thin, or thick crust?


Just soooo, thick.

Black sneakers huh?


why not. Ok.

I know this fantastic organic bakery.

You into health?

If it tastes good.

Ok, don't wait Jenny.

Now listen to this kids.

Usually found quite alone,
this house is a real honey of a home.

You see it, right over there?

Bee hives.

See? Those are bee hives.

How come you always talk
to us like we're babies?

Now those are bee hives.

- Shut up, I think dad's cool.
- You can't even grow bosoms yet.

Alright kids, no fight, now come on!

Jason, I told you not to talk
to your sister like that.

- Well she can't.
- Alright, alright.

Oh, come on now gang.

We've gotta work together like a team if
we're gonna win this scavenger hunt.

Whadya say huh? Let's go team, huh?

I'm not helping with no bees.

I'll go.

No, no, never mind, I'll go.

- You'll get stung.
- No, I'm not afraid of bees.

They won't sting you if
you're not afraid of them.

Oh really?

Oh yeah.

You uh. You hold this.

I'll be right back.

You'd better take my hat.

Good thinking.

Bye dad.

Oh boy.

Scott listen. Fourteen down.

Excessively angry.

One, two, three... seven letters

the third letter's an r.

Shut up!



Know it all.

Look at them all. Those bees are furious.




Get in the car!

What the hell are you doing?

Ahh, my teeth!

By the car there, you stop!

Hold it.

Oh, look an Indian.

Uh oh.

Oh god! They killed fuzzy.

It looks so real.

Hey man, this thing can't even hurt a fly.
It's just a toy. See?

Remember your restaurant, Henri.

My restaurant, my restaurant.
Yes, we are all in this together.

- Good fellow.
- Well what am I going to do?

Well, you know how to drive don't you?

Yes. Yes, of course.

Then you can drive get away.


Ok, we've been all over this and
everybody knows what to do, right?

Right. Yes.

Let's go. - Battle stations.

This is like cops and robbers.

No, no!

Oh dear.


Thank you.

Thank you.

Good morning.


Very fortunate, it seems to be empty?

Very fortunate, it seems to be empty.

Continuing with tchaikovsky's, nut cracker
suite. The dance of the miriltons.

Come on.

Excuse me.

What is this?

- This is a stick up.
- Reach for the sky.

I can't see!

I can't see!


I have no holes!

I can't see!

No get the bag off your head.

I can't, my face, they'll see my face.

Jackson? Jackson, where are you?

Jones, Jones. The name is Jones.

Calm down.

Calm down.

What have I done?

Hurry up, get all of it!

My face!

Don't worry about it. Just get up from there.

No, don't look. Don't look.

I can see! I can see!

Over here, I need help.

Don't you call anyone for five minutes.

Thanks awfully.

It holds every denomination,
and opens with a combination.

It holds every denomination,
and opens with a combination.

Cut out the dancing and get started.
You help too Georgie.

Why'd you do that?

You got fuzzy killed.

Why you!

Shut up and get this thing out of here.

Come on. One, two, three.


I pressed the button.
Get the lead out selsome.

Don't do that.

What are you stopping for.
Keep moving, push! Push! Push!

I got it. 45 points.

Now what did you do?

Out of order?

What do you mean, out of order?

This is ridiculous.

It can't be out of order. It
was working just a second ago.

I'm sorry but it's not working now.

But it was working just a second ago!

Well Einstein, look at me a second ago, i
wasn't standing here talking to a moron.

Hey it's dad.


In a boat.

Hey what's he after, I forgot?

I don't know.

Who cares.


What's wrong?

Hey, hey wait.

What did he do now?

Kids, don't go away.

Is he getting more pizza here?

All right.

Nitrous oxide, otherwise known as laughing gas.

Hey, be careful with that stuff.

And item 19, false teeth.

All right.

Double play.

Listen you guys, my stomach is starting to
growl. Will you settle for some donuts?

What now?

No problem.

I'm going to turn around and brace myself against
the wall and ease her down with my back.

Now when I tell you let go. Let go. Okay.

This I got to see.

Okay. Let go.

I could have sworn I heard something.

Probably my imagination.

Get over here.

Okay, quiet.



Just hurry.

Alright dad, here-

what were you trying to get out here, dad?

A life preserver.

Hurry up-

now it works.

On the double.

Don't strain yourself.

You know I can't overexert myself.

I might have an attack.

Stop all that chatter and
get that thing down here.


Georgie, give me a hand will you?


Oh no.



Come down here this minute! You idiot!
I should have done this myself!

Selsome, come down here.

Yeah, that's it.

Ain't she sweet?

Walking down the street.

I'll ask you very confidentially,
ain't she sweet.

Ain't she nice?

Look her over once or twice.

That's exactly what I'm gonna do.

Here comes the bride, don't try to hide hm.

Honey, you could steal all the dresses in the
world, ain't no man will marry you.

I sure hope not.

Brother, you must be on
one of them weird trips.

No, please don't. Let me
just explain this to you.

No. Explain it to the police.

No, come on pal. Wait a minute.
Just listen here.

I'm only wearing this dress for
one reason because it's an item.

I'm mean you get points for items.

Whoever gets the most points wins $200 million because
that's the way some crazy old guy left it in his will.

Looney tune baby.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. You could help
me win and then we'll split the money 50-50.

Everybody else has help but me.

You need help. You should be in belvue or
camarillo, or somewhere because you are a weird dog.

Wait a minute, $100 million a piece.

Quit messing with my mind.
You can't bribe me. Man,

I've been working here for years.
I don't go in for that kinda stuff.

Wait a minute.

I want to show you something outside here.


Right down here. Why wasn't
i invited to the party?

See? See? See all this stuff? This whole
item's on the list. I'm telling you the truth.

A hundred million dollars on the level?

My names Marvin. What's yours?


Well, Sam, do you want to
team up with me or not?

I do. Shake.

Lovely couple.

Alright, now take hold of this.
Alright, now hold on tight. Now take this.

Now wait until I get my
finger out of here. Do you

understand that? Wait until i
get my finger out. That's it.

That's it!

No, no, I bruise very easily.
Easy, easy. Easy, easy.

You see that?

You know.

For people who really like ice cream,
there's only one flavor, vanilla.

Is that a hint Duane?


if you think you can find
another short-sleeve

checkered shirt in black
sneakers, be my guest..

Better do what he says Kenny,
or he's liable to eat the Van.

Check it out.

Wait, wait, wait. What about the ice cream?

Aha, just as I predicted.

We are the first to succeed with the plan.


the inner tube for Henri.

I take the cracker,

you take the car.




There we are.

Here we go.

No, no, no. Over here.

There we are.

Shut up!

It was not the first, but the
most that matters in the end.

Bonjour - how you doin?

Jackson. Help me unload, the commode.

Oh no, no, no. Not mont Clair.
He is our good luck.

Well, I've actually grown rather sentimental
about the old boy. He was our first.

- So we'll keep him as a mascot.
- I don't care.

Well proceed with the other items.

We keep mont Clair.

She talks to toilets, she talks to pigs.
The woman is deranged.

Cash register.

Hurry, hurry.

Hey Jackson, come in. Come inside.

Glad you kids have got the sense
to travel with a bodyguard.

God! Wish I had your biceps.

Yeah, well that's Kay, arvilla

she's helping us out on a scavenger hunt.

This is Lisa, and my little brother Kenny.


Listen, I hate to be in
such a hurry, but do

you have a bullet-proof
vest we can borrow?

Oh sure. It's around somewhere.

A splendid specimen.

A real heavy weight.

I beg your pardon sir, but we are
involved in a scavenger hunt,

- and we were wondering...
- I know all about it.

Black sneakers. Checkered shirt.

Now let's talk ice cream.

Oh boy.

How do you ever find anything in here?

Arvilla, are you sure you
didn't take it to the cleaners?

Alright, young man.

If you can't choke your way out of trouble,

try the poli-death grip.

Ah, here it is.

Like this.


hit the dirt!

Ah relax children.

That's nothing but a paper weight, I keep the
real things in the pantry. By the howitzer.

Thanks for the vest, arvilla. I'll
bring it back in a day or two.

By the way, how did you and
arvilla come to know each other?

Aww, it's a long story, and we're in a hurry.

Now wait a minute.

It was a mugging victim.

Jeff! You saved arvilla?

How come you never told me?

You're so modest.

It's a long, long story.
Come on we're in a hurry.

The poor kid was getting
pushed around, pretty rough.

So, I pulled out my orthopedic brass knuckles.

And I Pearl harbored the mothers...

So modest.

But, there were so many of them around.

I had to resort to oriental self defense.

You used karate?



Oh no I wouldn't. Maybe Jason, but not me.

You think anyone who wears glasses is chicken.

Oh yeah?

Dad, the parachute came out!

Hang on kids!

Hold tight!

Hold on.

Whoa, that was just like a drag race.

Boy has this turned out to be a fun Sunday.

I think we have a flat tire dad.

Dad, I think you gotta flat tire.

I know Jason.

Come on Jason, let's go explore the field.

Come on, you can find some
bugs for your bug collection.

I wonder if there are any beet leaf hoppers?

Don't go far boys.

Come on!

Swiftly, swiftly.

- I'm sorry.
- What's the emergency?

What's the emergency?

Jerry's missing.

How's Betty taking it?

I wouldn't call the police
yet, not if I were you.

Give him a chance to come home on his own.

Not my son Gary.

Jerry, the ostrich, is missing!

Missing, are you sure?

There should be five ostriches.

And there's only four.

I've checked every square inch in that pen.

Let's take a look.

See, one, two three...

One, two three?

Th reeee!

Believe me Darcy.

I don't know.



Close your eyes. - Why?

I'll explain to you later.

This neighborhood is getting so weird.

Great, thank you.

Remember, five o'clock.

Foxtail. When you're hot. You're hot.

I told her, that's the way it is when
you ride with the piece corps, baby.

You know what I mean?

She's a piece corps baby, all right.

Hey, what's this guy doing?
Hey, check this guy out.

Okay, okay. Drinks for everybody. I like
having a good time as much as the next guy.

Make mine a strawberry daiquiri or peach.
What are you guys having?

You got some kind of death wish or something,
man? Ain't nobody touch one of our bikes.

No, no, you mean outside there?
I can explain.

Scum. Sorry. I know.

Mr. scum, Mr. scum, there's a
very good explanation.

How are you?

You see, I wanted to join
the piece corps ever since.

Thank you. Ever since
college, don't let these

square threads fool you.
Thanks, thanks very much.

I mean, I've always envied you guys here at,
nice to see you too, here at Chez death.

And I mean, this is where it's at, right?

Hanging out here with your buddies.

By the way, my handles stew. Yeah, you got
a real hip scene here, know what I mean?

Hep scene?

Yes, yes my man.

So you want to join the piece corps huh?

Scum, I was born to raise hell.

Ever since college.

Even before college, scummy.
Beat him to death..

Beat him to death.

Let's talk about it, let's talk about it.
Wait wait please, wait. Aah!

Get out of the way. Get off,
get off, get off the keys.

My god.

Jason that's enough now. That is enough.

No. You dropped your keys.

Selsome. Do you know what time it is?

That's right. It's 2:30!
Now move it.

Alright gang, let's head back
and unload some of this stuff.


Goody. I'll get to see the
famous estate of Milton Parker.

I grew up playing his games. It's beautiful.

Or rather, I grew out playing his games.

No, you're on a diet, remember?
Wasn't it four hours?

At least already, I'm starting to disappear.

I'm wasting away to nothing.

Lisa, Kay's disappearing.

Where am I?

Where am I?

It's fucking punch drunk.

I'll drink to that.

Make mine diet coke.

You clowns knock it off.

I can't stop laughing.

Need another dieter.

What's so funny.

I hear bells. - Stop!,

I hear bells. I must be in love!


It's not funny.

I know it's not the time
and the place, but.

Do you remember number 30?
It's a policeman's uniform.

Can I see your driver's license, please?

You want to step outside, please?

You know you were weaving
all over the road.

Yeah, I know, I'm sorry,
it won't happen again.

Why don't you come up here and put your
hands on the front of this Van, buster.

You guys want to come out there, please?

Put your hands up in the front of the Van.

I don't know what you guys are
on, but I'm gonna find out.

Don't you know how to change a tire, dad?

I'm just tired, honey.

Me too. I want to take a nap.

Daddy could use a nap too, Jenny.

Well, I don't care if I don't
get a Princess phone anymore.

That's all right, Michelle.

L just thought we'd be an
unbeatable team, that's all.

But, we hardly have anything.

Now this flat tire.

Guess, we're finished.

Come on Jenny.

We'll be right back dad.

They are gonna roast my ass for this.

Have a nice day, officer.

Hey dad, we really don't want
to quit the scavenger hunt.

Yeah dad we're with you.

What have you got there?

I found it in the field.

That's a cow bell.

This is a cowbell!

Number 30, it chimes
and rings, it sing ding-a-ling.

But the one you need now
comes with a cow, 15 points.

Yay! Let's fix the tire and keep on
hunting, since everyone wants to.

Yeah, we just got 15 points
without even trying.

Uh-huh and we could each go get things
really work like a team.

Come on dad.

Really work like a team.


Okay, 0kay.,

one, two, three just stay there please baby.
Now what?

Yes? Hi Celia how are you?


Well somebody must have seen him!
He's a rather peculiar looking bird.

Well listen, if somebody sees
a strange and suspicious

looking bird. Will you
please tell him to call.

I'm sorry.

Just ask them to call me. Thank you.
You're a darling.

Don't worry now..

There, there. Stay calm now.

I should watch from here, mister cornfield.
An ostrich can be quite treacherous.

Come on, my darling.

Please hurry.

Please, come on.

You sir, please move on.

Come on my little, come.
Come, sweetheart.

Yes. Here we go. Come sweetheart.

Perhaps we have underestimated
that dummitz fellow.

Stay there.

Come sweetheart. I'll
cook you for dinner sweetheart!


You've blown it, no references for you!

Yes. Good.

Come on. We're not going too much further.

That's it, alright.

They haven't got a chance.

They haven't got a chance.

Over here!

Mother can I keep him?

That's it. One more. Come on.

You take the ostrich
and I'll go get the pen, all right?


All right, my good man. See you later baby.

Help me with this please.
Don't eat it, just hold it.

I haven't had a real pet.

Over here.

Not since fuzzy died.

Georgie. Follow me.

Okay mother.

Hurry up-

come on.

Can I please? I'm gonna
call him spot my ma. Oww!

This way spot.

This way spot.

Please can I keep him? I promise I'll give
him a bath every day and comb his fur.

Yes, here we go.

Come on Sally.

I'm in the hunt.

Tell me mother I can't stay.

I do, turn around. Turn around.


I'm beat, give the guy
that's taken it out on me.

Yeah Kay you are wasting away.

Now don't you two start that again.

What's she doing with those boys?

Who cares.

Listen, just show me and
the canary where to sit.

Put in there you said anywhere
in the red section straight ahead.

Get your beak in here.

Easy, whoa.

Hey, we'll see you later.

Yeah, good luck.

Just sit anywhere in the red section.

You've got to stay there. Stay there.

Yeah, you're right.

The safe, the safe!

Hey, look. The servants got stuck with Duane.

Ain't that the same guy as at the bus stop?


Right! I can get.

Good luck!

By the wav»

good luck!

Turn around! Turn around! Hurry.

Ok mother!


What are you doing with those boys?

What does it look like?

You tart! Hurry up, hurry up.

Hello Mrs. carruthers.

Don't pull on me.

Here. Hurry, come on.

Don't push me.

No, no.

They're getting away. I'm getting away.

Mother where are you?


Have you seen mother?

Hurry up-


Move the bracket dumbo.

Am I near the pen yet?

You're in the pen ya nitwit.

60 points.


Okay in medieval times it protected a man
by making him look like a sardine in a can.

We got to get to the museum.

Why the museum?

In medieval, in medieval
times it protected a man

but made him look like a
sardine in a can. Huh!



Yes, mother?


Bye spot!

60 points.

Just about my size.

Yeah, but how do we get it out of here?

Marvin it's just about the
same size as me, you get it?

I'll put on the suit of armor and walk out
like you did with the wedding dress.,

now you see that's a good idea.

Now the first thing we gotta do, is get rid
of some of these folks so I can suit up



Create a distraction.

All right. What?

I don't know, Marv, but you'd better
think of something. Get on with it.

Get on with it, will you Marvin?

Where are the lights?

- Must be a microscope in here somewhere.
- Of course.

Microscope, what does it look like?

Blast they're all locked.


Quiet. Quiet, quiet. Shh. Shh. Shh, shh,




55 points. Let's get outta here.

Wait. What does it do?

It can see things very small,

like your brain.

I think it's locked.

Open it.

It is locked.




Ain't nobody there.

We are finished.

No, no, no, no. It can't end like this.

And to think I touch the
disgusting toilet for nothing..

And we got big troubles.

Why don't we put them under the
microscope and make them smaller.

She's driving me crazy.

Not now, Henri.

He's right, Henry.

Right, Henry.

Ahh, Henry!

You got to find a way to
get somebody's attention.

And fast.

They are right Henri.

You talk too.

And this is a copy of the Venus de Milo.

Venus was the goddess of love and beauty.
Don't you think she's beautiful?

Why doesn't she have any arms?

I was wondering when someone
was going to ask that.

It's the mummy. Revenge of the mummy.

Whatever he's doing, he must be doing it well.

Okay, everybody out!

Okay team. Now we all know
what we're looking for, right?


I'm going in this gym to try to find a medicine ball.
We'll meet back here at the car in ten minutes. Let's go.

Yeah, woohoo.



Welcome to the gym.

Thank you.

My name is motley.

I'm Lars. I'm the instructor here.

Yes, yes. Healthy?

Thank you.

I tell you, I have a little problem.

Well, that's what you're here for.
We take care of problems.


Yes. And you have a problem.
How did you get that?

We take care of your back. We
straighten you out all the way.

We make you come out of this
gymnasium as a healthy young man.

You know what I needs is a medicine ball.

No medicine, we don't deal with medicine here. We deal with
the absolute just nutrition, food supplements, no drugs.

What is wrong with America, drugs.
We make a real man out of you.

Is that you, Marvin?

Hey, Sam. How am I doing?

You're doing great. Keep them busy.
I'm heading for the car.

Where's everybody going?

Wait, stop, hold it.

Hey, wait a minute you guys. Look!

Real mommies don't wear hats!

It's a phony! Let's go after him!
Come on, get on it!

Geez. Oh hi. Don't. Wait a minute, lady. Wait.


Hello, how are you? What's your name?


You wanna help me a little?


You're nice!



Come on!

No. I wanna push it.

All right.

Go ahead and push it!

Up to the second floor.

All right.

Stop, stop, you blackheads!

I get in trouble and wonder
do people like that?

Don't. Don't.

Bombs away.

Into the elevator!

Hurry up-

hurry up!

Hit the button.,

hey! Hey you in the bandages.
Stop! Stop right there!

Hurry man, my back is breaking!

My neck, my neck!

Steady. I'm trying.

Oh, go, Jenkins. You can do it.

Light the fire!

God, I'm out of bloody butane!

You have no idea how heavy he is!

Oh, no?

He's got it! It's working! What?

It's on fire!


The the sprinkler is on fire.


Oh dear.

Stop now.

Wait a minute, wait, wait, wait,
wait, hey, hey. Everybody listen.

What did you do?


What is it?

No alarms, there ain't no alarm.

What's that mean?

We're dead.

I object.

I can't stop!

You must go past the pain. No pain no gain?

Make it stop! Just keep going.
- Okay.

Yeah, atta boy.

How do you feel?

All I want,

is a medicine ball?

A medicine ball!

Yeah, now you are getting the spirit. I
guess I underestimated you madly. Here.

Did you guys see that? Come on.

It's daddy!

Whoa, dad, do it again!

Holy cow, dad.

Wow that must be-

hey, you got the medicine ball, dad.

Yeah, yeah. How'd you guys make out?

Clean sweep.


Let's get some more stuff.

Yeah, let's go.

Hey wait, the car's this way.

Yo! Here we go the motley
team back into action.

Get in the back with me.

Come on.

I don't believe it.

I told you, I knew what it was.

There's a helmet!

What is it?

Half time.

Come on.

We're gonna knock their
jocks off the second half!

What time is it Jenkins? Not that it matters.


There goes my rolls Royce..

Shut up, will you? Why do you scream?

A killer souffle!

My floors!

Speak to me.

That is not a microscope!

I know, it is a mouse!

But this is a microscope.

Split pea brain!

What did she call me?

She is behaving like a skivvy.

It is tantamount to mutiny.

She called me a name like
that, I will kill her.

I've heard enough!

We still got a few minutes
to make it, let's move it.

Where is mont Clair?

And the ice hockey stick!

And the Jack hammer.

And the bananas!

We have been robbed.

We're going to be rich.

I wonder where the servants got this thing.

Don't touch that, you'll get germs.

They'll fall off.

Well, well, well.

Can you beat that?

Well, play to win go go!

Finders keepers, losers weepers.

Just let me see them try anything now.

I got them right here.

They'll never get through baby.
Don't worry. You're my girl.

You see Florence, this how it's gotta
be, somebody just has to be here..

They gotta be able to
do something like that.

If somebody come around,

and tries to get you sweetheart.
They've had it.

Because I'll give it to him such
a smack, they won't believe it.

You'll see sweetheart.

Relax. It's all right.
You'll see, you'll be fine.

No one's coming for you
baby, no body don't worry.

Just relax. Just relax just relax.
Just relax.

I've got some good news. And
I've got some bad news.

First, the good news.

This can't happen again.

What are you saying, this can't happen
again. Don't you see that I still got...

Nobody's home? - This way.

Better hurry, we're gonna be late.

You stole an ostrich?

Borrowed it.,

30 points for a crystal
ball is a little shabby but

200 million is not.
Mira Mira, come.

You bring this back to me tomorrow.

First thing in the morning.

And you show your appreciation.

Jeff's, a big tipper.

I open at nine.


A channel passes.

Something of value, fading like a channel.
As night falls, it is going.

Jeff, they're stealing our stuff!



Hurry up mother.

Ok, I got it. Let's go.

Stop you creeps or I'll kill ya!



Come on Jeff, come on!

They can't do that, it's against the rules.

Well they just did.

We gotta catch em before they
unload our stuff in their section.

Faster, faster, faster!

They're getting close.
If they catch us, they'll kill us.

Stop kicking me!

Hurry up, hurry up!

Faster, faster, faster!

Hang on.

Out of the way!

Look out!

They're gonna lose us!

Come on, come on. You light, change!

Don't worry we'll make it.

Selsome! - And Mildred.

- And mont Clair!

Let's get 'em!

Watch it, look out!

Mont Clair?

Mont Clair!

They have killed mont Clair!

It may be another toilet.

No, I would know him anywhere.

It's been easier than i
thought it would have been.

Yes, everything has been
going quite smoothly.

Any guess as to the eventual winner?

No, not a clue.

Well, we'll know in fifteen minutes.

Here's someone now.

Mr. Bernstein!

Never been on a scavenger hunt before!

This is splendid! Beep beep! Beep beep!

Merle I really appreciate this.

This is just grand. I feel like the prize
winning float at the rose parade.

I haven't had this much fun in years.

Hey listen, my name's merle, I'm with old
Marv. He gets 50 points for me right?

I think that's safe to say.

Hey, merle!


Merle, number three.


Looks like dummitz is ahead by a few points..

Congratulations dummitz, if no one returns
in 12 minutes, you're the winner.

Here we are. Here we come.

Hey, watch out for Florence.

Make room for Florence. Come on,
Florence, just a little bit more.

That a girl, you can make it, just a
little bit more. Yay dad, we made it.


okay, kids, let's get her into our pen.


Come on, come on Florence.
Here we go, here we go.

You've done surprisingly well Mr. motley.

Team work Mr. Bernstein.

Look at that maniac? Look at that?

Dad look at all that stuff.

First place!

We won, we won!

We made it, we made it, we made it.

If you think you're keeping
that stuff, you're crazy.

Halt, in the name of the law.
You're under arrest.

No problem.

What, if you're gonna arrest
somebody, arrest them, they were-


Yeah ta da. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Stuart selsome, attorney at...


Alright, you're under arrest.

Oh drat!

Did we make it on time?

Perhaps you stop and ask questions later.

I think I broke a nail.

Put the cuffs on him officer,
lock him up, take him away.

All right, up against the car.

Which half?

But officer, you don't understand.
These creeps ripped off our stuffl.

Don't move.


Put the cuffs on 'em.

Good heavens.

Good heavens! Just a moment officer!

My name is Charles Bernstein.
Attorney of the late Milton Parker.

If you could postpone your
legal obligations until 5 pm,

just ten minutes from now, i
should be able to carry out mine.

Yes arrest them! They killed mont Clair!

Let me assure you officer, no one has been
killed yet.

So put your guns away gentlemen.

As my brother in law chief Stanton would

there's always time for justice.

Mr Bernstein, would you
please come over here?

That's right Bernstein,
get your butt over here.

You're working for me now.

See, see. There is a Jack hammer, there is
a banana, and there is the hockey stick.

They are the ones that stole our stuff.

Wait, you mean they stole your stuff too?

Too? You mean?

Yeah, an entire Van full. How
could you do this you witch?

What you say may be true.
However, once the items

are in their sector, no
one else can remove them.

The points are theirs.

That's not fair!


Stop it!

Stop it!

The points are theirs.

On no.

Kindly put them back.

But that's not fair.

That's it. Come on. Put everything back.
Come on, blondie. Let's go.

You heard the English guy.
Put them back. Let's go.

The bananas.

Come on.

Let's go.

Hey, give me that drum.

He took my drum.

Hey, we got one more banana honey bunch.

Okay, Bernstein, we won!
Declare us the winners!

We won!

This may be so. However, there is still nine
minutes to go. All items must be totaled.

You should be barbecued, pigs!

25 points for this!


25 points for this.

No, no.

Okay, let's go. Hey look at this.

Oh my god, you dirtied your pants again.

Ugh, lemon meringue.

Hey, what the hell is going on in here?

It's a scavenger hunt.

Some rich guy is leaving
his money to the winner.

Yeah, so who are you?

I'm short-sleeve, checkered
shirt and black sneakers.

That thing there
- you oughta try some.

Is a suit of armor.

That's a total-

okay guys over here.

Is that for us?

Hey, hey thata way boy. Way to go.

All right unload it put it on in there.


What's up.

Sir, my foot's caught. Could you please?

Glad to see you.

Come on, unload it.

Come on!

Hey, hey. Score keeper.

4 points.

Hi, where do you want me to take it?



Ask a little fish too.

Shut up. I must say this
is really a bit much.

I can't believe this whole day.

What's he up to now?

More help for my friend!

No waiting!

Order in the court Bernstein!
How about a little

justice, man? Can't you
see they're cheating us?

Once again, I think mr.Salesom
is covered himself.

There is no rule against
getting assistance.


You call getting a couple of hoods
going out to rip off items assistance?

Hm, hm, hm. Let me tell you your fortune.
You don't get any fortune.

You're all fired.

Jerry, Jerry, Sally, Daphne, Florence!


Sergio, are you alright son?

I was worried sick about you.

You're making me crazy, you people
don't know what you're doing.

Oh Daphne!

Daphne, it's daddy!

What's the matter? She's a nervous wreck!

What have you people been doing, you been
torturing her. Who's in charge here?

I must plead guilty, what's the problem?

What's the problem? You
have five stolen ostriches.

Well, if you wait a
moment, you can have your

ostriches back and we'll
clear up the whole thing.

We used to hang horse thieves.

Absolutely horrid. We did
all work so well together.

Yeah, we were really cooking
til they ripped us off.

It would've been between
us or the Van for sure.

Anybody but that witch. It sicks me.

It sicks me too.

Wait a minute.

If assistance can be received...

Can it also be given?

What do you mean?

What does he mean?

I know what he means. Kenny, Jeff or Lisa.

Right on.

For me a yes.

For me a yes.

We must hurry, we only have a few minutes!
Come along!

A hundred million for me. A
hundred million for them.

A hundred million for nobody but me!

A hundred million for me!
Don't you touch that.

It's worth 15 points.

It's mine! You get a hundred,
and I get a hundred.

Please sir, faster into your section.

Hurry everyone.

Here's another tennis racket.

It's all mine!


How's it going Mr. cornfield?

Here are the current totals sir.

Stevens brothers and Lisa,


Way to go!

Carruthers, 1,480.

Thank god.

Not even close!


That's all we need, another cop.

You're under arrest.

What, again?

Now what for?

They stole my uniform.

That's not true, Joey, as I remember it,
you most graciously volunteered it, cutie.

Oh god.

At least I have my bear.

Okay, let's go. What do you say?

Come on, Jenny. Come on Jenny. Hey,
you kids, you can get our vote too.

We only got a couple of minutes.

Uh oh.

How much was a hockey
stick, how many points?

Oh, look at my list.

This is ridiculous. Do
something about it.

Duplication, that's a rule. Duplication
that means two items for one.

Have you got it did you strike it out?
You haven't struck it out yet.

Duplication I call duplication.

Listen let's help them win, okay?

Marvin, where's your spirit?


Let's move it. Move it. Move it. Move it.

All right, go on over. I'll
grab my wonderful things.

Duplication. I call duplication.

I can count the Teddy bear.

You sure?

I'm not sure.

Strike it out!

No I never counted.

Don't lie to me, cornfield.

I didn't count it, sir.

Way to go.

Carruthers, 1,480,
Stephen's brothers and Lisa,

wait Mr. scorekeeper, wait!

15 points right here in this pen.

That's right, now that's mine and what's
mine is theirs if they want it.

Let's bring it over! Let's
form a bucket brigade.

Dimwitted dummitz is in on the act.

Well we still have enough
points, don't we? Don't we?

For the moment.

Cornfield! Duplication!
What are you doing? Duplication.

Mr. selsome. I find it
very difficult to believe

that you and I are in
the same profession.

Kindly release Mr. cornfield.


Mr. cornfield.

Mr cornfield when you completely succumb to.
Would you care to join me in the shade?

Way to go, come on.

There's more. That's a double item.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Here Jennifer, take that.

How much is it worth?


This is all that's left!

How much?

That's 50 points right there.

There's a tube. How much is the tube worth?

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Here he is.

How much is it worth?

Did you strike it out? Huh,
did you strike it out?

Did you?

Did you?

Uh oh, what are they cheering about?

Come on, Jenny!

Let's push him away.

Love you guys-

attention, please.

Points have now been totaled.

Carruthers, 1,480.

Yeah, we know that.

Steven brothers and Lisa


Marvin we just lost by 115 points.

We won. We won.

We won!

Tell them to get the hell out of my property!

No Mildred, be generous.

Give them five minutes. But then...

It's off. - It's off!

We did it! I can't believe we did it!



Are you done Marvin?


What's going on?

Marvin! Tell me where I am man!

Ace, I dunno. Somebody's backyard.

What is that?

That's Sam in my suit of armor.

Yeah, but it's in our section.

You stole him too?

What difference does it make?
The contest is over!

Not quite, there's still 45 seconds to go.

That armor's worth 60 points, now it's minus
60 for them, that's 120! We can still win.

You can't steal anything
out of our section fella.


Is there any rule against an item
leaving this section on its own?

No there isn't.

Marvin! Tell him to get into our section.

Steal my suit of armor huh?

Now go this way.

Which way?

We're going this way.










We did it!

You can get up now, madam.
Mr. selsome has lost.

It isn't fair, it isn't fair!

Shut up you twit.

You blew it!

Everybody listen now.

Kenny, Lisa and I, we've talked
it over, we've decided that,

that everyone with the exception
of a certain threesome,

everyone including the friends and help,

will get a share of the money.