Scalpel (1977) - full transcript

I'm sorry if I've gotten
into too much detail this
afternoon.

This seminar is supposed to be
a generalized overview

of the specialty known
as plastic surgery.

I have to admit there's
a certain amount of glamour
attached

to this particular
medical discipline.

I don't find that
entirely unpleasant.

As a matter of fact, a
national news magazine
recently referred to us

as "20th century alchemists".

Turning base
flesh into gold...

You don't have to
take notes, Doctor.

...the ugly into the
beautiful, the maimed and the
deformed into the desirable.



Now, I suppose there's about
five cc's of bullshit in that
description.

However, I think it's good
for plastic surgeons' egos,

and as you all know, we have
the biggest egos in the
business.

Outside of neurosurgeons.

Uh... if you'll excuse me, I'm
gonna have to leave about ten
minutes early,

so unless there are
some further questions...

Thank you, Doctor.

Thank you, and y'all have
a nice afternoon.

- I'll see you later, Sandy.
- Bye.

[♪ Organ plays]

[Man] 'I, Robert
Dorston Thorndike,

'being of sound mind declare
this to be my last will and
testament,

'invalidating all others.

'To my only son, Bradley,



'the supreme
disappointment of my life,

'I present the opportunity to
develop a sense of
responsibility and loyalty,

'the two virtues he refused
to develop on his own.

'To this end, I entrust him
with the care and custody of
my faithful dog, Scout,

'a model of those virtues
absent in my son.'

- Come on.
- [Dog barks]

[Thorndike] 'To my son-in-law,
Dr. Phillip Reynolds,

'I extend my
Christian forgiveness.

'Though I will forever
hold you responsible

'for the death
of my beloved daughter Jenny,

'I am comforted by the fact
that I will never again be
forced to bear the burden

'of your obnoxious presence.

'To my granddaughter,
Heather Reynolds,

'as a token of my eternal love
and admiration,

'I leave the remainder
of my estate,

'totally approximately
five million dollars.'

Dr. Reynolds,
what about that will?

Five million to Heather?

Ain't that something?

Hello, Bradley.
You have my deepest sympathy.

What do you think, Dr.
Reynolds, will Heather ever
come home?

Well, I hope so, Claire.

Oh, so tragic,
her disappearing like that.

You know, I think it broke
old Mr. Thorndike's heart.

- Claire, we'll see you at the
cemetery. - Why do you think
she ran away like that?

There was that awful thing
that happened to her
boyfriend...

[Coughs]

Daddy?

Daddy?
Daddy, what are you doing?

[Sobbing] Oh, no... no!

[Reynolds] 'It was
a tragic accident.

'I saw the boy had had a
little bit too much to drink
when he left my house, but...

'I'm afraid I didn't fully
appreciate the seriousness of
his condition.

'The lights were out in the
pool. He just must've been
confused and just stumbled in.

'And my daughter was so upset,
she ran from the house.

'I'm sure she'll
be returning soon.'

Of course you understand,
Phillip, I am happy for
Heather's sake.

I just hope she
shows up to claim it.

Yes...

It's been over a year now,
I'm beginning to lose hope.

Why do funerals have to be
so damn depressing?

I wasn't depressed.

[Chuckling]

I mean, I really
wasn't depressed.

[Laughing]

Well, when I go,
I hope they'll throw a party
for me.

How long have you
been taking these?

A couple of months now.

Dr. Garrett, he says
my heart will outlast my
liver.

Garrett is a good man.

Well, I'll be around
for a long time yet.

I'm gonna run for
public office again.

State Senate this time.

I count my chances better than
even if I get past the
primary.

Course, Daddy always said I
was a fool running for public
office all the time.

Bradley, your daddy is dead,
which is what I'm celebrating
tonight.

I wonder why he
hated you so much.

Oh, God, don't you know?

I do the devil's work.

I change the faces
that God intended.

I cater to man's
vanity and to his lust.

Oh, I mean it. He thought I
was some kind of Frankenstein

making monsters down
at the county hospital.

You know, when poor Jennifer
drowned, I think he blamed me
for that, too.

Poor Jenny.

Well, here's to the
new state senator.

And goodbye to...

...to all sad songs.

- Yeah.
- [Laughing]

[Bradley] Phillip, I was
thinking, if you can
straighten noses and things
like that,

you might be able to alter my
features to better reflect my
inner virtues.

No! Aargh!

[Screaming]

Well, darling,
you have a good day, yeah?

[Bradley] Gonna seem strange,
not having Daddy around.

Strange, but nice.

Bradley, listen, I'm sorry
about that will. I know you
had your expectations about
that.

[Bradley] At least I outlived
the old bastard. That's an
accomplishment.

God, look out!

Good God, look at her face!

Bradley, there's a blanket
in the back of my car. Get it.

Can you breathe?

Can you breathe?

Alright, she's a little
thready. Let's get her over to
County.

Is Sandy here?

Let's get her.

Sandy, listen, I want you to
clean out her airway, put her
on an IV, check her out.

- I'll be in my office, OK?
- [Sandy] Right.

Looks like she had a date
with a meat grinder.

[Man] 'DeKalb County Police,
Sergeant Dobbs speaking.

'Hello? DeKalb County Police.

'Hello?

'Hello, anybody there? Hello?'

- Phil...
- What?

The girl you just brought in,
what do you think happened to
her?

It looks like somebody worked
her over and tried to destroy
her face.

They succeeded.

By the way, did you
call the police?

- Yeah, I called them.
- There's not much to report.

No identification,
no personal effects, nothing.

We're calling her a Jane Doe.

OK, give me the workup.

She's semi-conscious,
coming out of shock,

vital signs are strong,
continue to improve.

Nose is crushed,
left cheek is pushed in,

probably the right side, too.

Jaw's broken
in three, maybe four places.

Also extensive
soft tissue damage.

- How's her skull?
- Skull looks OK.

What do you want to do?

Maintain the airway, stabilize
the bones, pack her nose,

get me in OR in the morning,
and we'll start the soft
-tissue repair then, alright?

OK.

Sandy, how tall do
you think she is?

[Chuckles] How tall is she?

We just fix faces, Phil,
we don't measure 'em.

You measure this one,
goddammit, and I want to know
the color of her eyes,
alright?

OK, Phil.

Can you hear me?

Honey, can you hear me?

Alright.

Give me your hand,
you're going to write your
name.

Here.

Just take the pen.

That's a girl.
Write your name for me.

Honey, if you just
put down a big zero,

we're gonna have to just keep
calling you another Jane Doe.

Now write your name.

Alright, Jane.

How'd you get hurt?

Somebody beat you up?

Alright, alright, alright,
it's alright now.

Jane, are you sure there isn't
somebody you want me to
notify?

There's a relative, a
boyfriend, a friend, somebody?

Jane?

Come on, honey.

Just three big
zeros, aren't you?

Alright, you relax.
Just close your eyes.

You're gonna be fine.

Take a deep breath now.

Let it out.

Take another deep breath.

Let it out.

It's too tight.
A little bit more, please. 40
milligrams.

Violet, go.

- OK. Got it.
- OK?

She's a toughie. Let's go.

[Man] I have never seen
anything like this. [Reynolds]
Kind of a mess, isn't it?

We're going to make a pretty
lady out of this one.

I don't like that.
Give me a clean 15, please.

Thank you very much.

- Herbie, I think we'll make
it. - I think so, too, Phil.

OK, give me a scalpel.

- That's going to close up
nice. - I think so.

It's a nice, good edge.

- Lydia, how is she doing?
- She's doing pretty good.

Except the pressure's a little
lower than I want it to be.

- Can I have her for another
hour? - Yes.

Alright. Where's Ruth?

I had a regular circulating
nurse named Ruth. Now why the
hell haven't I got her here?

That's a good shape, though.

That's a nice shape.

That's looking more like a
pretty girl, doesn't it?

Derma-burner.

Give her a pointy
little chin, alright?

Er, no...

Watch where you're going.
Hey. Hey, hey, look.

There's a step.

What are we doing here?

Well, I thought after all
these weeks in the hospital,

you might kind of
like to get out.

And besides, it's nice and
quiet here and we can talk.

About what?

Jane, I checked you out
of the hospital today.

As far as the official records
are concerned, you're on your
way to Dallas.

Well, that's real nice
of you to tell me.

Actually, you're
going home with me.

I am?

I might just have something
to say about that.

- I thought it might be more
pleasant for you. - You hold
on!

Ever since you started
these operations,

there has been something going
on in your head, and it ain't
medical.

Sometimes when you look at me,

it's downright creepy.

Jane, honey,

how would you like
to have this face?

Do I have a choice?

No.

Well, I really am
going to be different.

Are you crying? Stop it!
No, I mean it, stop it.

Come on, you're going to get
those bandages all wet. Stop
it!

- Who is it?
- It's my daughter, Heather.

What's she got to
say about this?

Frankly, I don't know.
She disappeared about a year
ago.

Jane, listen to me.
Listen to me.

I told you before, your own
features, your own face was
almost destroyed.

I had to do something.

Besides, you resembled her in
other ways, your eye color,
the same size.

Your hair's a
little bit lighter.

I mean, I think...

I think that you might even...
well, pass for her, you know?

I mean, even among people
who've known her for years.

Now, does that idea
appeal to you at all?

What the hell for?

Well, would two and a half
million dollars be sufficient
incentive?

'Heather's grandfather loved
Heather as much as he despised
me.

'That was true even before
my wife's accident.

'He blamed me for
that, naturally.

'Anyway, about six months ago,
the old bastard died.

'To his only son, he left
nothing, and to my daughter
Heather...'

...he left five
million dollars.

- I want no trouble.
- There won't be any trouble.

I'm going to teach you
everything you need to know. I
mean, her mannerisms...

I've got tape recordings of
Heather's voice, you'll study
photographs of the family.

Anyway, you're only going
to have to impersonate her
twice.

If I imitate Heather...

I'll get all the money.

[Chuckles]

No, you're going to share some
with your daddy.

Looks to me like
daddy's got himself enough.

No, there's never enough.

This is Maddie Shuster.
She's kind of sharp.

Nobody's going to worry
about who you are,

but somebody might worry
about your... your attitudes.

Now, Maddie Shuster
will be the first one.

Identify.

Come on, think!
I've given her to you three
times.

Goddammit, identify.

This is somebody
you haven't seen before.

This is Bradley Austin
Thorndike. He's your uncle.
He's your mother's brother.

He's not mine. No kin of mine.

He's a drunk,

and he'll probably want to pat
you on the ass more than know
who you are,

but don't make the mistake
of thinking he's too dumb.

Just kind of honey up to him,
and it'll be alright.

Identify!

[Heather on tape]
'Hello, Daddy.

'I have decided that I'm gonna
try and talk you a letter

'and see if I can figure out
this new machine

'instead of writing
you a letter this week.

'Well, I'm all back
and settled in school,

'and I've done all the
registration and everything,

'and I'm pleased
with the courses I'm taking.

'I don't know if I'll be
pleased with all the studying
I'm gonna have to do this
semester,

'but I guess I will try,

'and I look forward
to Christmas vacation. I do.

'I am one of the laziest...'

Oh, do you play the piano?

[Jane] "Chopsticks".

That gives us a slight
problem. Heather's a piano
prodigy.

She played her first concert
with the Atlanta Symphony when
she was 16.

- Like I said, "Chopsticks".
- Yeah, we can deal with that.

And meanwhile, if you run into
something that you don't know
about,

you don't be marvelous
and charming.

Be vague and polite,
you understand?

[Mimics accent] Oh, Miss
Heather is... always polite.

That's not bad.

Well, thank you, Daddy.

Look, you don't have to call
me Daddy unless other people
are around, alright?

My good old cousin Margaret
likes to drink a little bit,
and she likes to drink gin.

Identify.

Oh, this is Curtis Vall,

and he's a cousin of
granddaddy's, and he's landed
gentry or something,

and he has never had to work
a day in his life.

So, he's a...

He's a historian
or... librarian?

- He's a historian.
- A historian, right, right.

And he's written three volumes
on the Thorndikes in Georgia.

Alright. Never mention to him
that the Confederacy lost the
war either, right?

Oh, I say, I was
unaware they did.

- Identify.
- Hmm...

Heather always went for a full
gin, which is why I used to
beat her.

Yeah, one thing we haven't
covered yet, Phillip, is
Heather's mama.

Got to at least know what her
name was and how she died.

Her name was Jennifer,
and she died in a swimming
accident.

We were out at the... out at
the lake cottage, and Jenny
went swimming by herself.

And I guess she got too far
into deep water, which was
foolish of her.

And two days later,
I found her body.

I blame myself
for being unable to save her.

Gin.

Good night, Heather.

- [Whimpers]
- Shh! I won't hurt you.

If I catch an
ear, let me know.

Oh...

Gonna be a little bit tender.

That's good, that's good.
That's good. Shh!

Turn around.

Alright.

About two or three weeks.

You're gonna be a
very pretty girl.

I think you'll be ready
to meet the family.

Phil! We was just talking
about her running away like
that, right, sugar?

Listen, if she ever
tries it again,

you just put her over your
knee and spank her pretty
little behind!

You don't want to do it?
I'll volunteer.

Keith, you know in your heart
I will, right?

Bye-bye, Keith.

I wish you wouldn't
leave me alone like that.

Sugar, you're doing alright.

Margaret, when are you going
to tell that husband of yours
about us?

Oh, Bradley, hush!

Heather! Oh, look at this
little girl. Ain't she
something?

Hello, Cousin Margaret.

Who'd have thought
you'd come back looking so
beautiful?

Or come back at all?

Heather, do you remember years
ago at a Christmas party at
our house,

I'll never forget,
it was so funny.

You were just a
little bit of a thing,

and you were carrying around a
table lighter, lighting
everybody's cigarettes.

And your uncle George was
there in his Santa Claus
outfit.

You remember what happened?

Margaret, I don't even
remember that. What was it?

His beard, up in flames!

- My God, yes, his beard.
- Every hair on his head gone!

I certainly hope he
doesn't remember it.

Oh, I don't think he does.
He's been dead five years.

Oh, Bradley, you ought to be
ashamed of yourself!

You'd never know he was alive
to play golf with him.

Or to sleep with him either.
[Laughs]

Margaret!

Heather, come here! Heather!

Heather, I'll bet
you don't remember me.

Maddie Shuster.

Well, Maddie, you, erm...
look younger than ever.

[Maddie] Aren't you
a little charmer?

Heather, there's somebody
I'd like you to meet.

- Would you excuse us for a
minute? - Sure.

I don't begrudge Heather
getting all the money.

I just wish old Mr. Thorndike
could've shown some concern

for the underprivileged
in his will.

Miss Reynolds, welcome home.

Dr. Dean is doing some
marvelous work out at Sandy
Hill Home.

That Dr. Dean,
the psychiatrist?

When I was a kid, we used to
call it the Sandy Hill
nuthouse.

Uncle Bradley, for shame!

Well, excuse me for a moment.

If you'd care to drive out
someday, I'd be happy to show
you around.

Well, Dr. Dean, are you
suggesting that I'm in need of
therapy?

Well, you never can tell.

Quiet please!
Alright, quiet please!

As titular head of this tribe,

I'd like to take this
opportunity to propose a toast

to welcome back the
girl of the year.

To Heather.

[All] To Heather!

Thank you, Uncle Bradley.

And thank you all
for being so kind.

I think my daddy and I are
gonna take some time off to
get reacquainted again.

I think we have a lot
to find out about each other.

Well, after all
I'm not the same old Heather.

Right, Daddy?

Thank you, Uncle Bradley.

[Maddie] Aw...!

[Bradley] Alright now,
alright. Quiet again, please.
Quiet, please.

Quiet. This is beginning to
sound like my last speech,

where I mention my dire need
for campaign funds.

- [Clamoring]
- [Bradley] Alright, alright!

Alright! Politics later.

I might just mention
that it would be nice

if we could maintain
a semblance of family unity

till after the
primaries are over.

Right now, I would like to
announce our entertainment for
today.

Uh, Miss Heather Reynolds

will perform at the piano
for our listening pleasure.

Heather!

Heather!

Uncle Bradley.

This will be fun.

She's so good.

[♪ Discordant chord]

Paula, Donald, excuse me.
Hang on. Brad, I'm sorry.

Honey...

Heather. Darling,
you don't have to play. It's
alright.

Heather, you don't
have to play.

It's alright.

Now listen, y'all. While
Heather was gone, she had a
little bit of a shock.

I'm afraid you're gonna have
to excuse her from playing the
piano this afternoon, alright?

Uh... I'll tell you what,
we're going outside and get
little bit of fresh air

and y'all have another drink.

Memphis! Memphis, honey, come
on, bring some more drinks in
here.

- Is she alright?
- Of course she's alright,
darling.

She's alright. Y'all have a
nice time. We'll be back in
just a few minutes.

Just some fresh air, that's
all we need. Come on, darling.
Here we go.

[Indistinct chattering]

[Man] Very good,
Miss Reynolds.

With that signature,
you've taken full title to the
trust

as established by
your grandfather.

Yeah.

It's easy.

It's also my duty to make one
thing very clear to you, Miss
Reynolds.

Your grandfather displayed
a rare sense of faith in your
judgment

when he set up this trust
with absolutely no
restriction.

The money is all yours.

As a matter of fact, if you
asked me to convert it into
cash and put it in a suitcase,

I'd have only one
question for you:

What color suitcase?

Well, in that case, Mr. Clyde,
you can pick the color,

but I'm awfully
fond of yellow.

Mr. Clyde, there is one thing
I would like to do.

And this is my idea, and I
hope nobody gets upset about
it, but...

I have always felt that my
daddy was treated unfairly in
my grandfather's will.

Now, it is my wish...

...to make a gift to my daddy.

I wish to make a gift of...

two million
five hundred thousand dollars.

Erm... Heather,
that's not at all necessary.

No, please, Daddy.

[Clyde] I'll get started
on the paperwork right away.

I wanna check with
our tax department

to get the most advantageous
way of handling the gift tax.

It's gonna be a stiff one,
you understand.

Of course, we do have ways
of softening the blow of it.

Oh, I know you do.

- Phil.
- Thank you very much.

- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.

- Heather.
- Take care now.

Thank you, Miss Heather.

Oh, Miss Heather. Phil.

Y'all have a nice
day now, you hear?

You too, Warwick. Bye!

Kansas City municipal bond.
It's a new issue and tax free.

I like that part about
not paying taxes.

You shouldn't have to worry
about money.

Let somebody else
handle it for you.

Like Miss Heather?

She let other
people handle hers.

Now she ain't got anything.

Heather chose to run away.
Nobody forced her.

She had all of this going for
her, and she walked away from
it.

That is stupid.

She lacked your
sophistication.

Phillip!

I'm not gonna go back
to the way I was, am I?

What do you mean?

I love my new face.

I'm not going back to the way
I was before now, am I?

No, no, your face
isn't gonna change.

My work is guaranteed
for the rest of your life.

That's good.

God, you look like her.

But I ain't.

Why don't we get the hell
out of this house tomorrow

- and go on and have us some
fun? - Hey!

Why don't we have some fun...

right now?

Come on, I'll beat you at gin.

Alright, my two and a half
million against your two and a
half million,

- winner take all, just let me
change. - You're on.

Ha!

Hope you don't mind, Phillip.
I helped myself.

Hmm... Alright, Bradley.

Heather! Honey, come on
downstairs. Your Uncle Bradley
is here.

How'd you get here, Bradley?
I didn't see your car.

Splendid house.

Monument to a way of
life gone forever.

Bradley, are you drunk?

I had hopes that it would one
day be mine, but the Fates
would have it otherwise.

Well, what a nice
surprise, erm...

- Good to see you, Uncle
Bradley. - Hello, Heather.

- Daddy, thank you.
- There you go.

Uncle Bradley, have a seat
and let me fix you another
drink.

Oh, no, no, no.
No, thank you.

Well, this is a
historic occasion.

The first time Bradley has
ever refused a drink or been
at a loss for words.

Heather, would you play
the piano for me?

- No, Uncle Bradley, you know
that I... - Please!

I apologize for what I did to
you at the party the other
night,

asking you to perform in front
of all those people, but
surely here...

just the three of us,
oh, I'm sure you can play.

Bradley, she can't do it.

Dr. Dean said that she'll get
over it, but it's gonna take
time.

Such a painful problem.

Please.

Just... just place your hands
on the keyboard.

For Uncle Bradley.

There.

Bradley, what the
hell are you doing?

Yeah! Now...

- [♪ Discordant chord]
- Yes...

Uncle Bradley, please,
I really don't think I'm
able...

You're going to
play the piano.

- Oh!
- [♪ Discordant chord]

- Oh, yes!
- [♪ Discordant chord]

Oh, that is music to my ears,
Heather, or whatever your name
is!

- [♪ Discordant piano]
- You don't fool me! Everybody
but me!

Get away from her, Bradley?

Bradley?

Bradley, you want some help?

Phillip, he needs
one of those pills.

Bradley, you want
to hear some music?

Phillip, give him
one of those pills.

Somebody's not gonna get
past the primaries.

[Bradley] 'I, Bradley
Austin Thorndike,

'declare this to be
my last will and testament.

'At my funeral,

'I decree that everybody
is to have a damn good time.'

[♪ Dixieland jazz]

[Whistles]

Cool it!

Uh, we got your
attention anyway.

Folks, we're all gathered here
to pay our last respects to
Bradley Austin Thorndike.

Now, if anybody thinks that
this funeral is a little
unorthodox,

y'all know Bradley
well enough to know

that this is exactly
what he specified in his will.

And I'm honored that he
designated me to be his last
toastmaster.

And I'll be brief, because I
think that's the way Bradley
would've wanted it.

Y'all know how Bradley loved
life and how he loved living
it.

As a matter of fact,
just before Bradley passed
away,

he was sitting at our piano,
just playing his heart out.

So here's a toast and a last
farewell to our good friend.

I'm gonna miss him very much.
Here's to Bradley!

[All] To Bradley!

OK, Bobby, get it on!

[♪ Band strikes
up, people cheer]

I mean it, I'm tired.
I want to relax, I mean it.

Heather!

[Heather] Daddy, is that you?

Daddy, I've made
your favorite.

I've made a nice
roast chicken,

but I hope I didn't put
too much sage dressing in.

Mama always did say
it gave you heartburn.

I've done up some
nice candied yams,

and I even found
some fresh okra.

I just thought it'd just be
like Thanksgiving dinner.

At least Thanksgiving
dinners before.

Heather!

- Hello, Daddy.
- Baby, baby, baby, baby!

Daddy, just hold on. I still
have a thousand and one things
to do.

And you have yet to introduce
me to your little friend.

What?

Uh...

Oh, yeah, this is Jane.
Jane, this is Heather.

Jane what?

Doe.

Jane Doe.

[Chuckles] I should've known.

[Laughing]

All right, you two must go on
into the parlor,

and there is a bourbon and
soda waiting for you,

and, well, fix Jane a little
something, and then, when
we're ready,

you can open that fine bottle
of Bernkasteler Doctor which
we like so much.

And then we all...

sit down to have a
nice, cozy dinner.

Your little friend didn't eat
very much, did she, Daddy?

Maybe something
spoilt her appetite.

- I hope it wasn't my cooking.
- [Reynolds laughs]

No, hun, your
cooking was gorgeous.

Oh...

It's a shame I had to come
home on such an unhappy
occasion though.

- Why?
- Poor Uncle Bradley.

Well, he didn't suffer much,
darling, it was instantaneous.

- There wasn't anything I
could do. - I know you did
everything you could.

God, it is so good
to have you back.

Yeah.

We're back together again.

Mm-hmm.

All three of us.

[Laughing]

[Laughs] Oh... ah!

Yeah, I guess
I'd better explain Jane to
you.

Er... I wish you would.

We found her,
Bradley and I did.

She was wandering round the
streets. She'd been beat up.

Her face was pretty
near destroyed.

I didn't have any background
on her, no photographs,

so I just had to give her the
features I knew and loved
best.

I'm flattered.

But Daddy, it was quite a
shock seeing her at that
cemetery today.

You mean you were there?
You were at the cemetery?

Mm-hmm.

And wouldn't you trust Uncle
Bradley to have a fun funeral?

Why didn't you join us then?

I'm not quite ready
to see the family yet.

D'you know, it's a funny thing
about Jane, erm...

I'm sure a lot of people
mistake her for me.

Oh, they do!
They do all the time.

Did Uncle Bradley
think that was funny?

Oh, darling, you know your
Uncle Bradley, anything for a
laugh.

Do you remember the time
he was running for coroner

and he decided he needed a
corpse to practice on?

Oh, Jesus,
and he got old Mrs. Burton

at the county office. [Laughs]

And the Smiths, I think it
was. My God!

And he couldn't stuff her in
the back of the car, cos she
was too long.

Couldn't bend her. [Laughs]

I thought I'd never
get him out of there.

You never thought
you'd get her out.

Care to tell me where you've
been all this time? No?

- Not yet.
- OK, OK.

- But I want you to tell me
something. - OK.

Is Granddaddy Thorndike ill?

Now, Daddy, I know he's not
very fond of Uncle Bradley,

but I expected to see
him at the funeral.

Baby...

Oh, Jesus, baby, don't you
know about your grandfather?

What about him?

Heather, he's... he's dead.

[♪ Plays gentle tune]

I was just thinking
about Granddaddy.

I should've been here.

Darling, there wasn't anything
you could do if you'd been
here.

Your grandfather
was an old man.

I guess his time had come.

- I'm gonna miss him.
- Me too.

- Did you know him?
- I told you to put away that
bottle.

- Did you know my granddaddy?
- No.

But I sure heard
a lot of pretty things about
him.

- He was a gentleman.
- Yes, he was.

You don't find too
many of them anymore.

I suppose he
must've left a will.

Darling, the entire family was
shocked about your
granddaddy's will.

I mean, he left the entire
estate to the University of
Atlanta.

And nothing to you
or Uncle Bradley?

Well, yeah. Yes, he...
[Chuckles] He left his dog to
Uncle Bradley.

[Laughing]

And you know,
we never could understand
that.

Why don't you go to bed?

He ain't no gentleman.

He's your daddy.

- Go to bed!
- He sure as hell ain't no
gentleman.

- [♪ Resumes playing]
- I bet you don't remember
this one.

What, our duet?
I do. I remember it.

♪ A little maiden

♪ Climbed an old man's knee

♪ Begged for a story

♪ Do, Uncle, please!

♪ Why are you single?

♪ Why live alone?

♪ Have you no babies?

♪ Have you no home?

♪ I had a sweetheart

♪ Years, years ago

♪ Where she is now

♪ Guess you will soon know

♪ Listen to my story

♪ I'll tell it all

♪ I believed her faithless

♪ After the ball

♪ After the ball is over

♪ After the break of dawn

♪ After the dancers leaving

♪ After the stars are gone

♪ Many a heart is aching

♪ If you could read them all

♪ Many the hopes
that have vanished

♪ After the ball

[♪ Whistling]

Erm...

She knows, don't she, Phillip?

Let's worry about
that tomorrow.

She knows.

You can't be sure of that.

Can't you see
she's funning us?

- I ain't that dumb.
- Honey, honey.

She could be
telling the truth.

I'll tell you one thing, she
did not know about her
grandfather.

She's been gone a long time.

She knows.

We'll worry about
that tomorrow.

Morning... sleepyhead.

Your daddy tells
me that, er...

this was your room
when you were a little girl.

I never had no room like this.

Always lots of
company where I slept.

Must be nice, huh?

Plenty of food and
plenty of clothes.

And plenty of privacy.

You smoke too much.

You know, that is one nasty
habit that I never did pick
up.

I would like to see
you leave this place.

Just like that.

I think everyone
would be much happier.

What did you look like before?

Nothing much.

I would love to
change you back.

Look, why don't
you just go away?

And leave us alone.

Honey, my granddaddy
built this house,

and I belong right here.
Now, where do you belong?

- [Chuckles]
- What's funny?

Has it ever occurred to you
what fun we could have with my
daddy?

Now, what if we were
to switch identities on him?

I'm sure I could imitate your
voice, and you might be able
to imitate mine.

Yeah, I might.

There, you see?
We'll trade clothes.

We'll trade hairdos.

I wonder how long it'd take
him to catch on.

Till bedtime.

Huh!

Ugh!

That's well-played,
Miss Reynolds.

Well, honey, are we gonna play
or stand here looking cross
-eyed?

OK, sweetie pants, here it
comes, right down your throat.

[Reynolds laughs]

Eight to nothing.

- Say, Daddy...
- Yeah?

I thought I'd go into
Atlanta on Friday.

- May I use your car?
- Yeah, baby.

- Wanna do some shopping?
- No, erm...

Eight to one.

No, I want to see that lawyer,
erm... what's his name?

The one that handles
all Granddaddy's affairs.

- Oh, you mean Mr. Branch.
- That's it, Mr. Branch.

And I want to talk to him
about Granddaddy's will.

I don't want to play anymore.

You know, Daddy,
it just doesn't seem right to
me

that he would leave all of his
estate to the university.

You now, I just wonder if his
poor old mind was right when
he put together that will.

Baby, I think you're right.
I think you ought to go down
there.

[♪ Country music plays]

What time do you think
you'll be at your wagon?

At least just before daybreak.

- Daybreak?
- Yeah.

Aren't you even gonna
give me a light?

[Man] What time?
What time do you move on?

Phillip, maybe there
is another way.

Like what?

Pay her off.

- Hell, split the money with
her. - She wouldn't take the
money.

Alright.

But I really don't like the
idea of getting mixed up in
it.

You're not getting mixed up
in anything.

If anyone's going to do
anything, it's gonna be me.

Will you stop trying
to think, alright?

I've taken pretty good care of
you till now.

Yeah, I guess Heather could
have a little bad luck.

I've had my share.

That's him. The big guy
behind the bar, the bartender.

Won't be the first time.
I've seen some of his work.

How'd you find out
about somebody like him?

I'm a doctor.
I'm just following up about
things.

There's not much about this
town I don't know.

- How's he gonna do it?
- I didn't ask him how he's
gonna do it.

I told him it's gonna be fast
and it's gonna be painless,
alright?

Shit, I don't even know
if I can go through with this.

It's my baby, you know that.

Hey...

I'm your baby.

Yeah, you're my baby.

Come here, baby.

[Indistinct shouting]

Hi.

Listen, sweetheart, can you
come pick me up in a little
while?

I really need to talk to you.

No, no, they're not here.
They've gone up to the lake to
go swimming.

It's unreal.

She's afraid of me.

Daddy...

It's a though nothing
ever happened.

Listen, honey, we'll talk
about it. Just please come...
and soon.

Alright.

No, I'm fine, I'm fine.

But I'm waiting for you.

OK, bye-bye.

Morning, Miss Reynolds.

Your daddy told me to drop
over and take a look at your
pipes.

What pipes?

Water pipes, down in the
basement. Said there were some
bad leaks.

- Oh, I see, you're a plumber.
- That's right. Even brought
all my tools.

The basement,
won't you show me where it is?

Oh, sure, right this way.

I just can't understand why
Daddy didn't tell me you were
coming.

- Careful now.
- I reckon he wanted to give
you a surprise.

[Laughs] Come on in, Phillip,
you ol' scaredy-cat.

- My goodness, you've cut your
hand. - It's nothing, Miss
Reynolds.

Can I offer you
a cup of coffee?

Oh, no, Miss Reynolds.
Thank you kindly just the
same.

Tell your daddy
I found what the trouble is.

I'll have to order some parts,
it'll be a few days.

That's fine.

You don't remember me, do you?

I was trying to.

The Blue Banana.
I used to bartend down there
nights.

- I do plumbing to moonlight.
- That's right.

I just didn't recognize you
without a bottle in your hand.

I poured many a tall one for
you, Miss Reynolds.

Remember that summer
a couple of years back?

You used to come in there
almost every night with that
blond boy.

What's his name?
The one with the funny ears.

- Donny Newman.
- Whatever happened to him?

He died.

[Whistles]

It's huge!

[Siren wailing]

Well, d'you think we ought to
give up, or... we shoot it
out?

Well, anyway, be polite.

May I see some identification,
please?

Yes, Officer.

Alright, Dr. Reynolds.

What about you, Miss?

I'm his daughter.

What?

I said, I'm his daughter.

Miss, I don't know
what kind of a game you're
playing,

but I think you'd better
tell this officer the truth.

She's not my daughter,
Officer, I just picked her up
at the lake, hitchhiking.

I don't even know her name.

Get out of the car, Miss.

- Right now.
- I think you'd better do as
the officer says.

Daddy... it really is Heather.

Listen, we decided this
morning that we were gonna
change places,

just to see if we
could fool you.

[Laughs] I think you'd better
get out of the car.

Goddamn you, Reynolds,
I'm gonna get you for this.

When I tell you to get out...

...get out!

Come here!

Come on, little girl.

[Indistinct shouting]

[Groans]

Well, you'd better go get her.

Oh, I'll go get her.

But it's gonna
cost you double.

Go get her, goddammit!

Uh... uh... Oh!

[Screams]

Oh, baby.

Get away!

You've been a naughty girl.

Heather?

Heather?

Heather?

Hi, Daddy.

Where have you been?

Uh, I just went for a walk.

Darling, you mustn't go...
you mustn't go off like that.

Daddy, don't be so silly!

Sweetheart, where's Jane?

Heather, I'm afraid I got
some bad news about Jane.

Oh, honey, you want a drink?

Honey, listen to me.
Jane...

Jane's not coming back.
There was an accident out at
the lake.

And Jane's dead.

How'd it happen, Daddy?

It doesn't really
matter how it happened.

The important thing
is that she's gone.

Darling, Jane...
Jane was a threat to us.

She was dangerously jealous of
the love that we have for each
other.

That accident
was for the best.

Daddy, I was planning
on doing some shopping,

because there's really not
a bit food in this house.

Would you give
me the car keys?

Give you the car keys?

- Yeah, I'm just gonna...
- Darling, look.

I'm not gonna give you the car
keys. I'm afraid you'll run
away again.

Oh, don't be foolish, Daddy.

What I want to do is, I want
to get us some steaks and some
wine,

and we're gonna have ourselves
a nice dinner.

Just the two of us.

You know, I never could stand
that Jane, don't you?

I'll tell you something,
that bitch had a mean streak
in her.

Yes, she did indeed, Daddy.
She had a mean streak in her.

Now give me the
car keys, Daddy.

Baby, where'd you
go that night?

- What night?
- Oh, come on, you know what
night.

The night I drowned
old Donald in the pool,

old faggoty Donald
with goddamn curly yellow
hair.

Boy, I tell you
I hated that boy.

- I caught him raping you.
- Raping?

I had to avenge your honor,
didn't I, baby?

Oh, my God, Daddy!

Hey, darling...

Come on!

Honey, listen, it's just...
it's like a nightmare, that's
all.

You got bad images
in your head.

They ain't gonna be there for
a long time. I'll take them
out.

Just let me wipe them away.

Just let me take care of it.

Let me comfort you, OK?

Daddy, give me the car keys.

- I'm afraid you're going away
again. - No.

Please.

- Hey, you're not afraid of
me, are you? - Of course not.

No, I was just thinking...
I was thinking about Jane.

Darling, Jane's face was
the most beautiful thing I
ever made

and I ever did.

I killed her for
you, you know that?

For me?

Baby, I...

She was beautiful, but she was
just a cheap imitation of what
you are.

I mean, that's what I was
doing. I was just making a
substitute.

Oh, no, Daddy.

Now I don't need
no substitute.

- Daddy, please don't...
- Shh, baby, come on...

- Baby...
- Daddy, please don't...

Daddy, please, no, really,
this isn't right. Daddy, this
isn't...

- Don't fight it.
- Daddy...

[Screams]

[Sobbing]

Crazy son of a bitch!

Never could tell us apart.

What's that?

- Something Bobby gave me.
- Who's Bobby?

Dr. Robert Dean.

My psychiatrist.

You met him at my coming-home
party, remember?

Oh, yeah.

Sandy Hill nuthouse.

Jane, that's where I've been
for the past year and a half.

Since I saw my father put
Donald in the water.

- Who's Donald?
- A boy.

A boy my daddy drowned.

Typical!

My granddaddy was the only one
that knew where I was.

He was the one
that took me there.

It must've been, erm...
six months anyway.

They were questioning me.

Finding answers.
And digging.

Making me remember
what happened that night.

Till they finally convinced me
that it was real

and that my daddy was
a sick, sick man.

After Dean saw you,

he told my uncle Bradley.

Uncle Bradley was furious,
and they were both ready

to put Daddy away right then
and there, and then I had to
beg them for a little time,

because despite all the
questions, despite all the
answers,

they could never
give me a reason.

I had to come
home to find that.

Jane, what happened here that
night to Uncle Bradley?

I can tell you.

[Wailing]

[Sobbing]

Dr. Reynolds?
Dr. Reynolds, can you hear me?

Dr. Reynolds?

Good morning.

Heather suggested that I drop
by, Dr. Reynolds.

She believes you need help.

She's told me all about
this imaginary person, Jane.

Daddy, who's this Jane?

[Laughs]

It seems that this Jane is
quite real to you at times.

Well, Heather tells me
you even hold conversations
with her.

And other activities.

It's typical in
cases of this nature

for the subject to experience
manifestations of subconscious
mental activity

in the form of hallucinatory
phenomena taking an intensely
realistic form.

And I think that
through the proper help

and possibly a restricted
environment, I think that...

What are you doing?

There have been cases, as a
matter of fact... Well,
between the two of us,

we might be able to come up
with a workable solution.

[Manic laughing]

[Bradley] What a
crock of bullshit!

[♪ Plays "Chopsticks"
on piano]

Look, Phillip... [Laughs]

No hands!

Here!

[Groans]

No! No!

[Screams]

Now up on your feet.

[Laughing]

Hey, listen, I'll be with
y'all in a minute, alright?

Uh... fellas said
they'd take me to the airport.

Come on, boys,
let's get out of here.

How long will his
cure take, Bobby?

As long as it takes
to prove his sanity.

To our satisfaction.

[Jane, echoing] 'Phillip,
I'm not going to change back,
am I?'

[Reynolds] 'What do you mean?'
[Jane] 'I love my new face.

'No, I'm not going to change
back to the way I was before,
am I?'

[Reynolds, chuckling]
'No, your face isn't going to
change, no.

'My work is guaranteed
for the rest of your life.'

Bye-bye, Phillip.

[Phone rings]

Let it ring.

Please.

Well, that's it.

There's nobody at the house.
She's over an hour late.

Mr. Clyde? Mr. Branch?

Miss Reynolds.

Good morning, gentlemen,
and I do apologize for being
so late,

but with one thing and
another, well, I think you
understand.

But I did notice
that you have my suitcase.

- Just as you requested.
- Thank you.

Oh, my goodness, isn't it
light for two and a half
million dollars?

Well, most of it is
in thousand-dollar bills.

You didn't specify
how you wanted it broken down.

Oh, no, that's quite alright.

Now, Miss Heather,
if you'll just sign this
release,

clearing the bank of
all responsibility.

How would you like us to
handle this deed of gift for
your father?

I think we should postpone
that indefinitely.

So, if y'all just keep
everything in my account, as
Heather Reynolds...

Invest wisely for me.

We'd be happy to.

Fine. Thank you so very much,
Mr. Clyde.

- Mr. Branch, excellent seeing
you again. - Thank you very
much.

- Have a nice trip.
- Thank you.

Bye.

Oh, Mr. Clyde.

Y'all have a nice
day now, hear?