Say You Will (2016) - full transcript
A recent high school graduate cares for his mother and navigates his first relationship in the wake of his father's suicide.
Ripped, corrected & synched
by Fingersmaster. Enjoy!
Are you gonna say anything?
What the hell were you thinking, Sam?
You're lucky you just lost your license,
and you know you're paying
for everything, right?
I know.
You're lucky they felt sorry for you.
Wake up, Charles!
Please wake up.
I don't know
what I'd do without you.
You're the one that taught me
to be strong.
Please, Charles.
Tell me who did this!
Previously on
"Every Breath I Take"
Hey, Sarah.
She's alive.
Hey, Sarah.
We didn't do anything wrong.
Hey. Morning.
Afternoon.
What are you doing here,
you're supposed to be at school.
No, I already took my finals
from my first three periods.
French toast on the menu
for you this morning?
Could you please make sure
you sign those three checks?
They're for gas,
electric and your credit card.
Yes, Mr. On-the-Ball.
Where's your bandage?
I thought Audrey killed her son's babysitter
on that speed-boat?
She escaped on a life raft,
spent six months on a desert island
and now she's back
for revenge.
Cool.
Their real mother is...
-No!
-Gotta go.
You're delusional.
Can't you see that you're sick!
Sick, is leaving your babysitter...
OK, have a good day.
...years of caring and...
...Sick, is pretending
to not have any...
Sick, is calling me delusional
when I say they are my children,
just as much as they are yours.
It's not.
Alright, time's up.
Pass your tests and
journals to the right.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Since it is our last day,
I figured it'd be
appropriate to popcorn read
our five year plan assignment.
What will you be
doing in five years?
Who do you want to be?
Maybe somebody we
haven't heard from?
How about Sam?
What?
Read your five
year plan assignment.
It's alright.
You could really use
the participation points.
My mom always told me
that there were two
types of people in the world.
The kind who leave
and the kind who...
stay.
It's all I have actually.
You didn't finish?
Who really knows, am I right?
Take your seat.
Well,
who else would like
to have an opportunity?
- Hold still, road-rash.
- Just take it.
Can you act like you're not
about to be executed?
Just for a second, c'mon.
That's the winner right there.
On the old mantle
piece, you know.
Bobby, that's great. Thank you.
Where are your
parents, by the way?
I don't know, probably at home
converting my bedroom
into a new office.
- No.
- No,
they're fartin'
around here somewhere.
Do you want me to get
a picture with you two?
Who?
Ellie! Ellie Vaughn.
Well that would require
Sam to talk to her first
rather than breathing
heavily in her direction.
We talk all the time,
it's not a big deal.
Ah, buddy.
I will never forget the
story about the gym shorts.
Mom, can you open
the door please?
Story time, I love
story time. Do tell.
Well, OK. It was seventh grade
and Ellie had been chosen by the
teachers to write everybody's
-names in their gym shorts.
-Oh, yeah.
And Sam came home that day,
still wearing the shorts.
He said:
"Mom, do you know who wrote
my name in these shorts?
The most beautiful
girl in the world."
-Oh, my God. That's...
-I know.
I'm gonna cry, dude.
That's sweet.
He was just so taken by her
that he didn't realize that
she hadn't written Nimitz,
she'd written Nimnuts.
-And that--
-Wait,
that's the origin of Nimnuts?
Everything makes sense. They've
been calling him that for years.
Yeah, it was so sweet.
Yeah, just a magical
childhood memory.
Why don't we tell
it a little louder?
Dude, c'mon, man. Don't go
all Samming the mood on us.
What does that mean,
Samming the mood?
It's just a term I've
coined for when Sam just
gets his vibe all
off-putting and depressing.
-C'mon now, be nice.
-Only half kidding, half not.
Anyways, I'm gonna go
find the parental units.
-Bobby.
-Always a pleasure.
-Well done.
-Thank you. Hey, Sam.
You, me, tonight.
Our old friends, fun,
laughter and merriment.
Remember them?
We're gonna be hangin', man.
Whether you like it or not.
See ya later, man.
Bye, Bobby.
Congratulations.
Thanks.
-He's just looking out for you.
-Bobby looking out for me?
Yeah, of course he is. You guys
have been friends forever.
No, he's my neighbor.
He's geographically obligated.
Sam, would you
please do me a favor
and have a good time tonight?
'Cause you know what
tomorrow is, right?
Job hunting. Yes.
-Every cent, I mean it.
-Yes.
I will start looking tomorrow.
-OK?
-OK.
Alta Loma High
is at Disneyland right now.
Then Alta Loma High can suck it.
Hey, the party's over here,
buddy. You know that?
-OK.
-Come a little closer.
C'mon, man. Cuddle up, man.
What's your do?
Bobby, we have to think of
a way to make our grad night
way better than Alta Loma High.
I mean, there's a few
things that come to my mind.
So, just please clarify this.
Well, I was gonna look really
good in my grad night dress.
And you missed it.
Why don't
you put it on?
Stop. Calm down.
- It's not a big deal.
- No, stop.
-Just calm down.
-Just do what you want.
-Calm down.
-Just get away from me!
Hey.
Can I sit?
It's a public swing set.
I'm Sam.
I know who you are.
No, I know. It's just that
there are a lot of kids,
-and a lot of people.
-You're Sam Nimitz.
Yeah.
You wore your gym shorts with
your name wrong in them
for two years 'cause of me.
Kids from that class
still call me Samnuts
or "Nimnuts".
Just assholes.
Sorry.
Actually I have this thing,
it's kinda like a grad night
hit-list and I came over
here to kill you,
but you apologized
so we're cool now.
Thank you for sparing me.
Are you OK?
Yeah, I'm a little drunk.
-Do you want some?
-No.
Thank you. I don't really drink.
How come?
It's a little personal.
OK, well. Just
for the record,
I saw you reading my journal.
So, I think you owe me something
a little personal at this point,
just to make things even.
-I was not.
-C'mon.
OK.
I think I might be at some
type of genetic...
disposition,
'cause my dad drank a lot.
I dunno, maybe that's
a weird reason.
No, that's not weird.
It's an extreme all or nothing
attitude, but it's not weird.
I dunno, I just don't
wanna end up like that too
I guess. I dunno,
kind of a fear of mine.
Do you have anything like that?
I try to live my life
without any expectations.
'Cause who really gets the
life they planned on, right?
And spoiler alert, we all end
up like our parents anyway.
Is that not
and expectation in itself?
No, 'cause it's fact.
Trust me.
Transformation is inevitable.
Nimitz... Your dad,
I'm sorry. I didn't realize.
-I'm sorry.
-It's OK.
No, it's not OK. It's a horrible
thing to say. I'm sorry.
Do you think
I'm a huge bitch now?
No, honestly it's...
You just got put
back on my hit-list
so that kinda sucks for you.
Well, I think it's cool
that you don't drink.
I kinda want more people
like you in my life,
you know, just to keep me
out of trouble.
Yeah?
So what are you doin' this summer?
Uh, pretty open.
You?
I leave in August for
Rochester in New York,
but that's about it.
-That's awesome. For what?
-Their music conservatory.
-That's what you wanna do?
-Yeah.
Something with music.
It also runs in the family.
And I'm supposed to get a
summer job, so there's that.
Really? Because
I might have something.
- Babe.
- Oh, God.
-Come dance with me, c'mon.
-I'm sorry did you forget
-we had a fight or...?
-I'm sorry, that was like
forever ago. Come dance with me.
C'mon.
Alright.
-C'mon, I wanna dance, c'mon.
-OK.
I'll see you this summer, Nimitz.
The guys will be out here
soon with the jumper thingies.
Did you purposefully leave
the lights on all night?
No, Amy and I came
out here and...
Well...
Let's just say I'm
a lights on kinda guy.
OK, no.
What did you do? Just jack-off
in the jungle gym all night?
No, actually I hung out
with somebody.
Oh, yeah?
Who?
Ellie Vaughn.
-No way. Are you serious?
-Yeah,
it was really random actually.
No, you're lying to me.
-Who'd you hang out with?
-I'm not lying!
Oh, my God!
Dude, that girl is major
pipe, so how was that?
OK. Wrong question,
dumb question.
-Please tell me you made a move.
-No. Pipe?
What? No, we talked.
That's it. What?
You gotta make that shit
happen, man.
Nah, I dunno. She kind of
hinted hanging out, but...
Uh, OK. Dawg, anytime a girl
eludes to hanging out with you,
that's your cue
to make it happen.
Don't let this slip
through your fingers.
-Not this, not Ellie Vaughn.
-Really?
Dawg, I'm here for you.
Alright?
Ellie Vaughn, man!
That's exciting!
Jesus and all his blessings.
Alright, dawg.
Hey, good work
nice, fine soldier.
Proud of you.
Hey, Sam, it's your aunt.
Just wondering what you're gonna do
for your moms birthday.
You two can't hide out in that
fortress forever. Call me.
Hey, it's Ellie Vaughn,
I'm calling for Sam Nimitz.
909-508-3212
is the number. Alrighty.
Hi.
Hi.
May 2002, freshman year,
"Ellie, have a great summer.
Maybe I'll see you around.
909-921-5805.
Take Care. Sam."
Look at you just smoothly trying
to give me your phone number
four years ago.
-You never called.
-Who reads these things?
I do?
Figured you'd say that.
You're looking for
a summer job, yeah?
The search starts today.
I work at Video Flicks,
it's that really shitty
video store off
and Baseline
And we're looking for
someone if you're interested.
Yes. Yeah.
Yeah, should I like, I dunno,
fill out an application?
Can you be here
in thirty minutes?
Don't worry, it's tradition.
Every time someone quits
they get to destroy the wall.
-Hey, bro. You're Sam?
-Yes.
-J.D., General manager.
-Hi.
Come hang out in my office.
What's your story?
I don't normally
hire someone unless
they can give me
six month commitment
and Ellie here tells me that
you're leaving in August.
Right, yeah.
I'm going to school.
I have to pay off
some bills before I go.
Bills? What?
You're like, 12.
What bills do you have?
Um... It's...
I crashed my dad's truck
and I have to
pay off the damages.
It's not a big deal.
Yeah.
I've been there, dude.
Alright...
Yeah, I can...
I can hook you up with
a part time till you leave.
Thank you.
You have a form of transportation?
Nah. I got my license
suspended because...
-I can give him rides.
-Really?
Yeah, I'm here every day anyway.
Thank you.
Alrighty then.
-Welcome to the team.
-Thank you.
-Ellie will show you around.
-Yup.
Came out a little big.
Do you...?
It's the only one we have.
-OK.
-Wash it on hot a few times.
Here, follow me.
Each day you're gonna need
to straighten the wall
which requires you to walk
up and down the DVD aisles
and make sure everything's
straight enough for presentation.
They're Nazis about it.
Trust me,
you're gonna have nightmares
about shoveling DVD shelves.
See?
OK. It's easy enough.
Alight, you go down there
and you start. I'll be here.
Well,
-good first day, Sam.
-Thank--
Thank you, J.D.
Have a good night!
Do you know of any
places open late
like for food?
Yes, off of Haven and Baseline.
Cool, OK. I'll follow
you over there.
Wait, how did you get here?
Friend took me.
Is that your scooter over there?
Is that yours?
-That? No.
-No?
It's good that your
expectations are like down here.
-Yeah?
-Because it's not about to...
-Blow my mind?
-...blow your mind, yeah.
-You ready?
-OK.
Yeah, OK. Ready? Alright.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
I need more, like twelve more.
- They're the best.
-Yeah.
They're the best donuts.
So.
Why Video Flicks?
It pays. I dunno.
-I've had a lot of jobs.
-I wouldn't think that.
Why? 'Cause I hang out
with a bunch of entitled brats
who's parents pay for everything?
Well, when you put it like that.
Hey, it's a social circle
we share, that's it.
-Sorry, I didn't mean anything.
-No worries, it's fine.
I've been working
since I was 16.
What about college,
aren't you leaving soon?
Yeah, I'm figuring it out.
Weighing my options.
Which is code for "no clue",
so there's that.
Is Zach
one of those options?
Wait, what?
You... I mean, it has to
be more complicated making
a decision when you have
Zach to consider too, right?
Is that your sly way
of asking me if
like I have a boyfriend?
No.
Zach and I are on a break.
OK. What does that mean?
Just that we're not talking.
But you're together.
Yeah, sometimes things
aren't one way or the other.
OK.
-That's fair.
-Anyway, I...
I like this.
-What?
-This.
I'm starting to realize
that all of my friends
for the past four years
have just been party friends.
-What do you mean?
-Party friends, like
friends you get trashed with
or friends you talk about
nothing with.
Like, it's not real.
Yeah.
I'm not used to hanging out
with anyone at all.
C'mon, let's get you home.
See you tomorrow for work.
Are you tired?
No.
Me neither.
It's over here.
Wait, you live in a recording studio?
Yeah, it used to be a garage,
my dad converted it.
He was a musician too?
He was in a bunch of bands
when he was younger,
but he made a living off of commercials...
He wrote songs for commercials.
These were his guitars?
They're mine now.
Right.
"A poetic demise"?
Do I have to tell you about that?
Yeah.
It's this little stupid
band Bobby and I had...
a long time ago.
He lives next door.
He's my neighbor.
-It's a pretty expressive name.
-Yeah.
Those were not subtle years.
What's with the recorder?
Bobby's parents
felt he was spending too
much time with the band,
something about not wanting
him to end up homeless,
so they sent him to a math camp
for young entrepreneurs
one summer.
So my dad bought us that
voice recorder and we
recorded music tracks on it,
sent it back and forth all summer.
Cute.
So, you any good?
I'm OK.
Rochester's one of the best
music schools, right?
Yeah, something like that.
OK. So...
you're a little
better than good.
Play me something.
OK. You know, you play
me something now
or I listen to a track
from a poetic demise.
-That's pure evil.
-C'mon.
-Put the recorder down!
-OK.
-This is a work in progress.
-No disclaimers.
This is called "Our Only Son".
♪ I've been having dreams
Of my hometown in flame ♪
♪ You're watching me
Run from the border ♪
♪ You've been
Having your way ♪
♪ Hiding from me for days
♪ A reminder of all
That you wanted ♪
♪ How could you be
♪ Be without me
♪ How could you be
♪ Be without me
♪ Wish that I knew
♪ Wish that I knew
♪ Wishing I knew
♪ And I miss the days
Before we were estranged ♪
♪ Your suitcase half-full
With belongings ♪
♪ Life swept away
By one single day ♪
♪ Still spinning in
The wake of his leaving ♪
♪ And I wish that I had
♪ The strength to carry you
And I wish that I said ♪
♪ I'd never leave this town
♪ But I'm learning every day
♪ That sometimes we can't stay
♪ How could you be
♪ Be without me
♪ How could you be
♪ Be without me
♪ Wish that I knew
♪ Oh, I wish that I knew
♪ Wish I knew how
♪ Wish I knew how
♪ Wish I knew
That's it.
I don't know what to say.
-I'm sorry.
-No.
No, that's the last
thing I wanna hear.
Can't get your face out my head.
What do you mean?
Your face when you were playing.
I just wish I was that
passionate about anything.
Maybe you are.
I'm pregnant.
What?
Sorry.
- That was abrupt.
- No.
No it's... Fu...
What? But you were
drinking on grad night.
I like you, Sam.
But I'm not really an all or nothing
sort of person like you.
Wait, what do you mean?
Can we talk about it later?
Hey.
Hey, wake up.
Hi. Gotta go to work.
Get up.
-Hey, mom.
-Hey, Sam.
I thought you were
staying at Bobby's.
-Hi, Ellie.
-Hey, Miss Nimitz.
-Hey.
-We're just goin' to work.
You got a job?
Video Flicks.
Look at that.
I didn't know they were
still open, is that...?
-No, that's cool.
-Good to see you.
And you. That's...
Have a good day, kids.
What's with the men's
pj's on the couch?
They're my dad's.
She wears them when I'm not
around or thinks I'm not.
She hasn't slept in
their bed since, well...
That is the saddest
thing I've ever heard.
At least you guys still
have each other.
You know, after everything.
-You're right.
-Yeah.
Actually, no. We don't
really talk at all.
I don't know why
I lied just then.
OK. Just wait right there.
Boys, wake up!
Just 'cause it's summer
doesn't mean you get
to sleep all day!
Hey, let's go.
C'mon, you're mine.
Ah, you're
mine. We're gonna eat breakfast!
We're gonna eat all the goodies.
Alright. So we're
gonna do cereal...
a...
No phones. I said
no phones this year.
Yeah?
Yeah? Here we go.
--Yeah? Alright.
- Good morning.
- I have work, so I'm gonna go.
Alright, bye.
How are my boys.
Cool, you ready?
Sorry to do this to you, but
this morning I'm gonna
need you to call everybody
on the 30 day list.
OK, what is that?
It's a list
of everybody who's checked out a
movie for more than thirty days.
OK.
You got any tips?
Don't let 'em kill your spirit.
OK.
-Yeah?
-Hello, is this Mr. Foster?
-Who the fuck's askin'?
-Oh, um...
This is Sam from Video Flicks.
I'm calling about the
copy of Mona Lisa Smile
that you rented in January
and you've yet to return.
Sounds like my snake ex-wife
is still using my account.
Actually it says that you're
the only one with access.
-So... -Are you calling me a liar?
Sorry, excuse me?
Jesus, kid. Are you
even paying attention?
What kind of DVD-jockey are you?
Mr. Foster, right?
-How'd you know?
-He's a regular.
Don't take it personal.
What the hell is this?
Oh, here we go.
Do you realize that a cat
washes down a gigantic waterfall
in this movie, and survives?
A waterfall.
It's a kids' movie.
Oh, wow. This place is
losing its way, man.
First these stupid
grape shirts, now the
required factory films
where animals are surviving
totally impossible
dangers, giving kids
impractical expectations
for their own lives.
What can I say, Gus.
Corporate wasn't too keen on
you showing "Y tu Mama Tambie"
-on every afternoon.
-Y tu Mamá También
is a beautiful, perfect film,
and corporate is stupid.
-Who are you, who's this?
-This is Sam, friend of Ellie's.
And yes, he is of working age.
He's gonna be with
us until August.
Nice to meet ya,
how are you doin'?
You like shit like this?
Oh, um. Yeah, when I was a kid.
Don't worry, I'll show
you some real movies.
-Hey, Gus.
-Hey, Ellie. How's it goin'.
You look good today.
Saw you brought in the new kid.
-Yeah, be nice.
-Always.
-Should we initiate him tonight?
-I dunno.
What are you talking about?
Every Friday night Gus
screens a movie on the roof,
it's kind of a ritual.
Not bullshit
like this, I promise.
-Important stuff.
-Cool, I wanna go.
-OK.
-Yeah, we'll think about it.
Just joking, kiddo.
- Cool.
- No way that golden retriever
would make it out there alive.
It's a golden retriever!
You ever seen a movie
that shows
16 minutes
of a tree growing?
That's the kind of crap
we're gonna watch tonight.
Talking about my first short
film right now? Wanna go there?
-Oh, look who showed up.
-Sorry I'm late.
Did I miss the screening?
We were just about to play
hide and seek, you in?
Oh, I'm just gonna hang out.
-If it's cool.
-Suit yourself.
Everybody form up on me
over in the drama section,
we're gonna discuss the rules.
Alright, guys. Follow me.
We don't need to know the rules
'cause it's hide and seek.
What are you
thinking about?
Thinking about how there's
a child inside of you,
firstly.
What are you gonna do?
What do you think?
I have an appointment.
Yeah, just imagining
a life with Zach,
a life with like my mom's,
I just can't.
Why do you care so much anyway?
You trying to be my
boyfriend or something?
Just a friend looking out
for a friend.
Just checking.
What else is on your mind?
Nothing.
They're playing hide
and seek for three hours,
I'm gonna get it out of you.
Found all these photos
of my mom with this guy.
-Some guy before my dad.
-Like a high school boyfriend?
No.
It was serious,
they were engaged.
There were all these letters.
Did you read them?
You did.
They were so different.
Different how?
My mom really loved this guy.
She loved my dad
too, but these letters...
Every single one of them
was about forever.
My parents never
talked like that.
-Have you asked her about that?
-No.
I don't think she's
ready to talk
about anything,
but especially this.
Why don't you let
her decide that.
Why do you care so much?
Trying to be my girlfriend
or something?
No, no way.
Thank you for caring.
Of course.
Tag, you're it, fresh meat!
I think
you'd better run.
Hey, what's up?
You didn't go to bed?
You ready?
One, two, three.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, guys. Ready?
Let's go to bed.
OK.
My room's the first door
on the left.
You have good taste in movies.
-That surprise you?
-No.
Just saying.
Your...
mom's gonna be cool with me
bein' over here this late?
Yeah, we don't have
what you'd call a normal
parent - child relationship.
Yeah, I can relate.
Yeah.
Confession.
I knew that I wrote your
name wrong in your gym shorts.
I was just too shy to tell you.
No, you? Shy?
I can't imagine it.
I was, it was the first day
and there was this
cute guy and I was...
M...
--Me, cute?
Yeah, you were!
You had this big brown
moppy head of hair.
You were...
cute.
You're...
a little sadder...
a little more lost,
but you're cute.
Still cute.
Ellie...
You don't know...
how badly
I've wanted to know you
ever since that day.
I'm sorry I took so long.
I forgive you, again.
-Am I back off your hit-list?
-For now.
Is that why you didn't wanna
read your five year plan essay?
Just 'cause it was
like a huge list of
all these people
you were gonna kill?
I was hoping you'd
forget about that.
Wait, let me see
if I remember correctly.
- The type of people who leave
-and the kind who stay?
-No.
That was incomplete, OK?
Don't judge me.
Why don't we break out yours.
Well you read mine. Why don't
you recite it for me, you creep?
I don't think we can
trust anyone who says
they'll know where
they'll be in five years.
Will you take me to see Dean?
Dean?
The guy in the photos.
Why?
What is she gonna do
when I leave in August?
What is she gonna do without me?
I think that she'll be alright.
I'm gonna be across the country.
She's gonna be all alone.
We've built this weird
little life together.
And...
I dunno, if there's
something more for me,
there has to be something
more for her.
That's all I'm thinking about.
OK.
Yeah, let's go.
-Are you sure?
-Yeah, let's go.
Thank you.
-Hello?
-Can I help you?
Um, hi. You're Dean Hall?
Yeah.
This... Uh.
I'm Sam, This is Ellie.
Pleasure, what can I do for you?
We're just...
We're wanting to
furnish our new place.
Your new place?
It's not ours, it's for my mom.
Oh, OK. Is your mom here?
-No.
-No.
-She's not?
-No.
It's a surprise.
Are you guys brother and sister?
-Yeah.
-No.
Kids, c'mon. I don't
have time for this.
Try Living Spaces.
Do you know Janice Nimitz?
Yeah, I did.
I knew her as Janice
Hansen back then.
Yeah.
I'm her son.
So you wanna explain
the weird cover up...
out there?
Can you tell
me about that?
Oh, my God.
What do you want me to say?
I didn't know about
you guys until now.
Well it's not like it
was a secret or anything.
Mom and I met at high school and
dated for...
a couple of years and then...
eventually we got engaged.
But then what?
-She met your dad.
-You knew him?
Yeah, he was my best friend
when I was about your age.
We were in a band about the time
me and your mom got together.
She left you for
your best friend?
I wasn't perfect,
you know, I had my problems
I was...
I was a really angry kid.
He was a better choice.
How could you be
so cool about it? I would...
I'd die.
20 years is a very
sobering amount of time.
Why are you guys here?
So your mom had boyfriends
before your dad,
I wouldn't call that uncommon.
It's 'cause
she wants to see you.
What?
Yes.
How do you think
I got the photo?
She kept it, everything.
Look.
I really don't know what
to say about all this.
Would you see her again?
-I mean, I don't know.
-She's having a birthday party
next week at our house.
-She wouldn't wanna see me.
-I think she would.
Are you sure it's OK? I was just
like: "She wants to see you."
-Then I was like: "Shit."
-No. I wanted to say it myself.
Yeah, I was just thinking
about what you said, it's like,
she's gonna be alone. This
could be a good thing, right?
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah.
What?
You guys miss your dad.
Do you remember James Keller?
James Keller, the kid
with the prosthetic hand?
Yes, I do.
-That's an unexpected reference.
-Yeah.
We had a class together
the year after his accident.
He used to complain that it
hurt where his hand used to be.
It's this thing called
phantom limb pain.
He was supposed to
take pills for it,
but he told me that he wouldn't,
sometimes just because he liked
the feeling of it being there
even if it hurt.
It's like a part of us has gone
and our only connection
to him now is the pain.
Trying to move on
would mean erasing him.
I dunno, it's messed up maybe.
It's not messed up.
I understand.
What about your dad?
Where are we?
This is the house I grew up in.
We had to give it up after
my dad left 'cause we couldn't
afford the mortgage anymore.
I told myself I'd come back
when I was older and buy it
with my new family.
I have so many memories
in this house.
Before my mom was dating
a new guy every week,
and I had to explain
to my brothers why
I had to take care
of them and live on.
My dad used to park
his station wagon
over that oil stain
in the driveway.
I have this memory of
Christopher, Frank and I;
it was a Sunday afternoon,
my dad came home from the store
and he was like, "guys...
look what I found in
my basket at the store."
He got out his bag and we
were just running around
circling him, desperately
wanting to know what was inside.
What was inside?
I can't remember.
Can you take me to my
appointment on Saturday?
Please? I need
someone to take me.
OK. Yeah.
-Yeah, I'll do it.
-Really?
Yeah. Terrified, but...
Yeah, I'll do it.
Thank you.
--No, you don't.
I wanna do it.
I love you, you know.
Thank you.
So do you just get paid
to stand here all day?
Yeah, it's for now. I'm getting
trained on register next week.
Oh, nice.
-Keys to the castle already.
-Bobby, I don't...
It's really nice of you
to give me a ride,
but I don't want them to think
we're just hanging out here.
What? No, I'm thinking 'bout
buying some previously owned
DVD's, as advertised.
I'm a costumer.
What happened to your
girlfriend, I thought
-she was giving you rides.
-She is.
I dunno, she took
the afternoon off.
How's that going?
I guess it's
getting pretty real.
Oh, yeah?
Alright. Gettin' out
of your shell.
-Gettin' in that pipe.
-No!
What? Pipe?
Stop saying that. It's not...
It's like, we like each other,
you know. We actually like
each other, it's a real thing.
Whatever blows your
hair back, man.
As long as you're
out of the garage.
- Alright.
- Oh, 12 o'clock.
- I will see you tomorrow.
- Later.
Bye.
-Hey, how's it goin'?
-Hey.
Well, DVD's are safe.
Man's guarding it
like a junkyard dog.
Were you at the beach?
Yeah, my friend had
a birthday thing.
Alrighty, I'm gonna go change.
See you in there.
I feel you, man.
So real.
It's kind of funny, though.
Sorry.
What are you doing after work?
Just watching my brothers,
nothing exciting.
So...
what are you guys doin'
this Friday?
-What's Friday?
-Pool party.
My place.
Okay.
Sam, you in?
I can't, it's my mom's birthday.
Bummer. Come after, maybe.
Yeah, maybe. Are you coming
to my mom's birthday?
It's your family thing.
I'll just see you after, OK?
Yeah.
Alright, let's close
it down, yeah?
-Yeah.
-Can I drive you home?
Yeah, sure.
Wait.
I don't...
wanna make it
awkward, but...
what's going on
with you and Zach?
Is that why you've
been so quiet?
We've been friends for
a really long time,
we dated for a little bit.
Didn't work out, so we're just
trying to move passed it.
You understand?
Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Don't be sad.
I'm not.
OK.
Surprise!
Oh, you're such troubles.
Hi.
You missed the surprise, but...
Yeah, sorry.
I sat in the car for
about 30 minutes before
I tuned on the engine.
You don't have to do it
if you don't want to.
No, I know. I do.
I do. OK.
I just can't believe
you all drove in.
Mom.
Someone's here to see you.
Hey, Janice.
Peggy, Allen, nice to see
you guys, it's been a while.
I'm sorry, I just don't...
I don't und..
I'm sorry, can you
just give me a second?
Excuse me.
One sec.
Hey, mom?
Can you open the door, please?
I was just trying to...
What have you done?
What are you doing?
I'm trying to help you.
You're trying to
help me do what?
I saw all those letters and
the photos between you and Dean.
I saw how in love you guys were.
Oh, my God, Sam.
That was 20 years ago. 20!
What are you thinking?
What gives you any right
to go through my life?
I'm sorry.
OK?
I do not need your help.
I don't need to be saved by
anybody, let alone my own kid.
You are the child,
I am the parent,
-stop forgetting that.
-Then act like one!
You can't just quit your life
because something bad happened.
I already lost my dad, I don't
need to lose my mom too.
-You're not losing me.
-I already have.
All day, every day,
all you do is sleep
on that couch.
You never talk to me.
You made me move
into dad's studio,
so you wouldn't have to see me.
-I did not make you.
-You sure as hell made
a good argument for it.
And you never come to see me.
You just threw me in there
with all of his other stuff
you don't wanna see. Now I'm
alone with it all the time.
I didn't know
you felt like this.
Of course I do.
You practically just
waiting for me
to leave for school next month.
I just remind you of him
and now you want me gone too.
I'm sorry.
Sam!
Yeah, I'm glad you could
make it, man. C'mon.
Hey, J.D.
-Have you seen Ellie?
-Ellie, yeah.
I think... Hey, man.
Uh, Ellie, yeah.
She's around here somewhere.
She's with Zach.
Why don't you try the pool, man.
Good luck.
- Yeah.
- C'mon.
Your turn. Up. Go!
No, you go.
-Sam, stop.
-What do you want from me?
Just talk to me, please. Sam!
-No, shut up.
-What?
Shut up!
You told me...
-that you were just friends.
-We are just friends!
You don't act like that
with your ex-boyfriend
when you're starting a
relationship with somebody new.
Back off, OK. I didn't know
this was a relationship.
Are you...? No!
Are you kidding me?
Not everything has to be
one way or the other, right?
Must be easy living like that.
I think you might be right,
we might just all end up
like our parents.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-Go ahead and have that baby,
get on with it.
I let you into my life,
Sam, and then...
You're just gonnause it against me?
Yeah. Doesn't feel good to
have people you trust
be reckless with you, does it?
I'm sorry, OK?
God, give me a break!
Haven't you ever been
unsure about anything?
No.
Not when it comes to you.
God, stop looking at me like that!
Just 'cause you liked me all
these years doesn't mean
I have to be your fantasy.
No, it's not about that.
Then what?
I thought we were in it together.
Don't you think it's weird
that we drive?
And like we're...
monkeys.
OK. So like, imagine Lucy driving a car.
Who is Lucy?
Did I...?
I can't...
I think you've had
enough of this.
Hey, there's Sam.
-Sam.
-My man, Sam arrived.
-Yo, Sam. What are you doin'?
-Sam.
- I'm going home.
Come here real quick.
What's going on, man?
What's up?
Trouble in paradise
with Ellie Vaughn?
Now you join the army
of other young men
who have been burned
by miss Vaughn.
You guys should
start a scholarship.
On the bright side
you're back on the horse.
Get off me!
Hey, man. Don't be killin'
the fuckin' vibe like that.
Killing the vibe,
Samming the mood,
-aren't I?
-Yeah.
As a matter of fact
you were Samming the mood.
I'm really sorry that
my dad killing himself
has been cramping
you style so much.
What?
Alright, dude,
I'm too high for this.
You're always high, drunk,
trying to sleep with some girl.
Don't you care
about anything else?
Please stop pretending
we're friends.
Alright, come here, dude.
I don't know what's goin' on.
You know...
For the past year
I've been trying
to get you out
of this house.
No, you just wanna
stay cuddled up
on your little island
in your garage, don't you?
It's just me pretending
to be your friend, right?
What about our band
you just totally bailed.
I didn't
think Poetic Demise
was gonna make any
real waves! Can you stop?
-It was ours, though.
-I know.
Look this shit was hard
on all of us.
OK? Everybody misses your dad.
Me, you, your mom. Everybody
who knew the guy, misses him.
I knew him since
I was a little kid!
He was the only person
that believed in my music.
The only person!
My parents are sending me to
math camp and shit like,
who the fuck does that?
So...
Just take the fuckin' chip
off your shoulder, man.
Yeah.
Order number seven...
zero, one, zero,
zero, zero, one.
Yeah.
Hey, can I call you back?
Alright, yeah. Bye.
You wanna come in?
You're not gonna run my hand
through the band saw, are you?
C'mon. C'mere.
I'm...
so, sorry.
It's alright.
-Just like that?
-Just like that.
Are you not pissed at me?
I was.
I get it.
You're a good kid, you just...
did somethin' stupid.
I just...
I can't...
handle
the kind of people who leave.
Now with the going
to school, my...
And in doing that, I am that.
People who leave,
people who stay, man.
I haven't heard that in a long
time. Let me tell you something,
it's easy to draw lines
in the sand.
But trust me,
people don't exist...
on one side or the other.
You don't have to listen
to me, but I think you should.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
All this bullshit...
doesn't have to define you.
OK? That's what you
need to control.
How do you control it?
This...
is where I feel in control.
I dunno, isn't it all kind of tedious?
Sometimes it is.
But you know,
I get to beat
the shit out of wood and
metal all day.
And over time
make something beautiful.
See?
You don't have any
dead bodies, right?
Yeah,
they're in the freezer.
Wanna give it a shot?
-Yeah.
-Yup.
Look at that, it's easy.
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
Alright.
What do you say,
you wanna build somethin'?
-Yeah.
-What are you thinkin'?
Kitchen table?
Coffee table?
Actually, I think
I got something.
Eleanor Vaughn?
Please put this on for us.
And the doctor will be right in.
Welcome back.
Let's do four,
-so what we'd get out is four.
-Yeah.
3, 12, 16.
OK, 'cause we're gonna turn it
into squares, right?
Yeah.
Hey.
Tomorrow your last day?
Yeah.
When do you leave for Rochester?
Three days.
Can I give you a ride home?
Can I drive us somewhere?
-What?
-I wanted to drive us somewhere.
What about your license?
I don't know.
How do you turn on
your brights?
Oh, here.
So, are you gonna tell me why
you took me to the middle of nowhere?
Sam?
This is where he did it.
Hey, come here.
I tried to come
before, I just wanted to see it.
The police said...
The police said that
they didn't find anything.
Just his truck and a gun.
You know...
Is that when you crashed his truck?
It's a stick shift.
I didn't get in very many lessons,
so I was obviously
not very good.
I don't know,
it got stuck in third.
I lost control. I dunno.
It didn't feel right to leave
this place without seeing it.
I'm sorry, Sam.
-You don't have to be sorry.
-No, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry about your dad.
And I'm sorry about the party.
And I'm sorry for everything.
-I'm sorry.
-Don't be.
No, listen. OK, we got close.
We got closer than
I've ever been
with anyone in my whole life.
And...
I let my relationship with Zach
bleed into ours,
and that's not fair.
I didn't mean what
I said about...
you ending up like your mom.
I don't think that.
I wish we could've
met down the road.
When we were like 27
and we have everything
all figured out.
I think we needed
each other now.
I hate that you're leaving.
Maybe we'll try again
when we're 27.
OK.
I like that. You'll be some
like...
world-class composer
and I'll be like this...
That's T.B.D,
but it will also be great
and world-class.
It's a great plan.
Yeah.
OK.
So nine years.
I'm gonna be waiting.
Just tell me you will too.
I will.
Sad to see you go.
You know what this
means, though, right?
The truth is people are much
more complicated than that.
They don't exist
on one side or the other.
You have to let them in just as often
as you let them leave.
Bye, guys. Bye,
I'll be back later, OK?
It's the phantom limb pain
that we carry with us
even after people leave.
And that's OK because
it's ours to share.
Alright, here's what I was
thinking for the intro track,
it's kind of rough, but
I feel like it captures
that raw mood we
were talking about.
This may not
be a five year plan per se,
but who really knows.
We're all just doing the best we can
and if that's good enough...
It has to be.
Hey.
Thank you.
Love what you've done
with the place.
Thank you.
I know you've been
spending time with Dean.
He called me
and asked if it was OK.
Is it?
Dean's a good guy.
He did not deserve what
your dad and I did to him.
I have a question.
Looking back...
Do you still think
you made the right choice?
I loved your father.
I mean, I loved your dad.
And I know you've tried
really hard to understand
why he did what he did.
It's...
It's so hard to accept that...
Sometimes people are just...
sick.
I mean, that's it, you know.
Nothing more to it than that.
At least that's what
I've spent the last year
trying to convince myself of.
And I know you think
I'm a hopeless shut-in.
You are not wrong, it's true.
I know I haven't made a lot of
attempts at normal since...
Well.
A couple of months
before it happened...
we got into
a really bad fight.
I was just so sick of him making
me suffer with him, you know?
And...
He asked me
if I regretted
choosing him over Dean.
And...
I just didn't answer,
I just didn't say anything.
I just let him sit in it,
you know, just let him wonder.
Mom.
Then a few months later
he did what he did.
I really need you to
forgive me for that
because I can't
forgive myself, Sam.
It's OK that we
don't have all the answers.
My God, you're leaving.
I've been hiding from you,
I've wasted so much time.
We've just been hiding
from each other.
Can I show you something?
Please.
OK.
♪ I've been having dreams
Of my hometown in flame ♪
♪ You watching me run
In the border ♪
♪ You've been having your way
Hiding from me for days ♪
♪ A reminder of
All that you wanted ♪
♪ How could you be
♪ Be without me
♪ How could you be
♪ Be without me
♪ Wish that I knew
♪ Wish that I knew
♪ Wish I knew
-- English --
by Fingersmaster. Enjoy!
Are you gonna say anything?
What the hell were you thinking, Sam?
You're lucky you just lost your license,
and you know you're paying
for everything, right?
I know.
You're lucky they felt sorry for you.
Wake up, Charles!
Please wake up.
I don't know
what I'd do without you.
You're the one that taught me
to be strong.
Please, Charles.
Tell me who did this!
Previously on
"Every Breath I Take"
Hey, Sarah.
She's alive.
Hey, Sarah.
We didn't do anything wrong.
Hey. Morning.
Afternoon.
What are you doing here,
you're supposed to be at school.
No, I already took my finals
from my first three periods.
French toast on the menu
for you this morning?
Could you please make sure
you sign those three checks?
They're for gas,
electric and your credit card.
Yes, Mr. On-the-Ball.
Where's your bandage?
I thought Audrey killed her son's babysitter
on that speed-boat?
She escaped on a life raft,
spent six months on a desert island
and now she's back
for revenge.
Cool.
Their real mother is...
-No!
-Gotta go.
You're delusional.
Can't you see that you're sick!
Sick, is leaving your babysitter...
OK, have a good day.
...years of caring and...
...Sick, is pretending
to not have any...
Sick, is calling me delusional
when I say they are my children,
just as much as they are yours.
It's not.
Alright, time's up.
Pass your tests and
journals to the right.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Since it is our last day,
I figured it'd be
appropriate to popcorn read
our five year plan assignment.
What will you be
doing in five years?
Who do you want to be?
Maybe somebody we
haven't heard from?
How about Sam?
What?
Read your five
year plan assignment.
It's alright.
You could really use
the participation points.
My mom always told me
that there were two
types of people in the world.
The kind who leave
and the kind who...
stay.
It's all I have actually.
You didn't finish?
Who really knows, am I right?
Take your seat.
Well,
who else would like
to have an opportunity?
- Hold still, road-rash.
- Just take it.
Can you act like you're not
about to be executed?
Just for a second, c'mon.
That's the winner right there.
On the old mantle
piece, you know.
Bobby, that's great. Thank you.
Where are your
parents, by the way?
I don't know, probably at home
converting my bedroom
into a new office.
- No.
- No,
they're fartin'
around here somewhere.
Do you want me to get
a picture with you two?
Who?
Ellie! Ellie Vaughn.
Well that would require
Sam to talk to her first
rather than breathing
heavily in her direction.
We talk all the time,
it's not a big deal.
Ah, buddy.
I will never forget the
story about the gym shorts.
Mom, can you open
the door please?
Story time, I love
story time. Do tell.
Well, OK. It was seventh grade
and Ellie had been chosen by the
teachers to write everybody's
-names in their gym shorts.
-Oh, yeah.
And Sam came home that day,
still wearing the shorts.
He said:
"Mom, do you know who wrote
my name in these shorts?
The most beautiful
girl in the world."
-Oh, my God. That's...
-I know.
I'm gonna cry, dude.
That's sweet.
He was just so taken by her
that he didn't realize that
she hadn't written Nimitz,
she'd written Nimnuts.
-And that--
-Wait,
that's the origin of Nimnuts?
Everything makes sense. They've
been calling him that for years.
Yeah, it was so sweet.
Yeah, just a magical
childhood memory.
Why don't we tell
it a little louder?
Dude, c'mon, man. Don't go
all Samming the mood on us.
What does that mean,
Samming the mood?
It's just a term I've
coined for when Sam just
gets his vibe all
off-putting and depressing.
-C'mon now, be nice.
-Only half kidding, half not.
Anyways, I'm gonna go
find the parental units.
-Bobby.
-Always a pleasure.
-Well done.
-Thank you. Hey, Sam.
You, me, tonight.
Our old friends, fun,
laughter and merriment.
Remember them?
We're gonna be hangin', man.
Whether you like it or not.
See ya later, man.
Bye, Bobby.
Congratulations.
Thanks.
-He's just looking out for you.
-Bobby looking out for me?
Yeah, of course he is. You guys
have been friends forever.
No, he's my neighbor.
He's geographically obligated.
Sam, would you
please do me a favor
and have a good time tonight?
'Cause you know what
tomorrow is, right?
Job hunting. Yes.
-Every cent, I mean it.
-Yes.
I will start looking tomorrow.
-OK?
-OK.
Alta Loma High
is at Disneyland right now.
Then Alta Loma High can suck it.
Hey, the party's over here,
buddy. You know that?
-OK.
-Come a little closer.
C'mon, man. Cuddle up, man.
What's your do?
Bobby, we have to think of
a way to make our grad night
way better than Alta Loma High.
I mean, there's a few
things that come to my mind.
So, just please clarify this.
Well, I was gonna look really
good in my grad night dress.
And you missed it.
Why don't
you put it on?
Stop. Calm down.
- It's not a big deal.
- No, stop.
-Just calm down.
-Just do what you want.
-Calm down.
-Just get away from me!
Hey.
Can I sit?
It's a public swing set.
I'm Sam.
I know who you are.
No, I know. It's just that
there are a lot of kids,
-and a lot of people.
-You're Sam Nimitz.
Yeah.
You wore your gym shorts with
your name wrong in them
for two years 'cause of me.
Kids from that class
still call me Samnuts
or "Nimnuts".
Just assholes.
Sorry.
Actually I have this thing,
it's kinda like a grad night
hit-list and I came over
here to kill you,
but you apologized
so we're cool now.
Thank you for sparing me.
Are you OK?
Yeah, I'm a little drunk.
-Do you want some?
-No.
Thank you. I don't really drink.
How come?
It's a little personal.
OK, well. Just
for the record,
I saw you reading my journal.
So, I think you owe me something
a little personal at this point,
just to make things even.
-I was not.
-C'mon.
OK.
I think I might be at some
type of genetic...
disposition,
'cause my dad drank a lot.
I dunno, maybe that's
a weird reason.
No, that's not weird.
It's an extreme all or nothing
attitude, but it's not weird.
I dunno, I just don't
wanna end up like that too
I guess. I dunno,
kind of a fear of mine.
Do you have anything like that?
I try to live my life
without any expectations.
'Cause who really gets the
life they planned on, right?
And spoiler alert, we all end
up like our parents anyway.
Is that not
and expectation in itself?
No, 'cause it's fact.
Trust me.
Transformation is inevitable.
Nimitz... Your dad,
I'm sorry. I didn't realize.
-I'm sorry.
-It's OK.
No, it's not OK. It's a horrible
thing to say. I'm sorry.
Do you think
I'm a huge bitch now?
No, honestly it's...
You just got put
back on my hit-list
so that kinda sucks for you.
Well, I think it's cool
that you don't drink.
I kinda want more people
like you in my life,
you know, just to keep me
out of trouble.
Yeah?
So what are you doin' this summer?
Uh, pretty open.
You?
I leave in August for
Rochester in New York,
but that's about it.
-That's awesome. For what?
-Their music conservatory.
-That's what you wanna do?
-Yeah.
Something with music.
It also runs in the family.
And I'm supposed to get a
summer job, so there's that.
Really? Because
I might have something.
- Babe.
- Oh, God.
-Come dance with me, c'mon.
-I'm sorry did you forget
-we had a fight or...?
-I'm sorry, that was like
forever ago. Come dance with me.
C'mon.
Alright.
-C'mon, I wanna dance, c'mon.
-OK.
I'll see you this summer, Nimitz.
The guys will be out here
soon with the jumper thingies.
Did you purposefully leave
the lights on all night?
No, Amy and I came
out here and...
Well...
Let's just say I'm
a lights on kinda guy.
OK, no.
What did you do? Just jack-off
in the jungle gym all night?
No, actually I hung out
with somebody.
Oh, yeah?
Who?
Ellie Vaughn.
-No way. Are you serious?
-Yeah,
it was really random actually.
No, you're lying to me.
-Who'd you hang out with?
-I'm not lying!
Oh, my God!
Dude, that girl is major
pipe, so how was that?
OK. Wrong question,
dumb question.
-Please tell me you made a move.
-No. Pipe?
What? No, we talked.
That's it. What?
You gotta make that shit
happen, man.
Nah, I dunno. She kind of
hinted hanging out, but...
Uh, OK. Dawg, anytime a girl
eludes to hanging out with you,
that's your cue
to make it happen.
Don't let this slip
through your fingers.
-Not this, not Ellie Vaughn.
-Really?
Dawg, I'm here for you.
Alright?
Ellie Vaughn, man!
That's exciting!
Jesus and all his blessings.
Alright, dawg.
Hey, good work
nice, fine soldier.
Proud of you.
Hey, Sam, it's your aunt.
Just wondering what you're gonna do
for your moms birthday.
You two can't hide out in that
fortress forever. Call me.
Hey, it's Ellie Vaughn,
I'm calling for Sam Nimitz.
909-508-3212
is the number. Alrighty.
Hi.
Hi.
May 2002, freshman year,
"Ellie, have a great summer.
Maybe I'll see you around.
909-921-5805.
Take Care. Sam."
Look at you just smoothly trying
to give me your phone number
four years ago.
-You never called.
-Who reads these things?
I do?
Figured you'd say that.
You're looking for
a summer job, yeah?
The search starts today.
I work at Video Flicks,
it's that really shitty
video store off
and Baseline
And we're looking for
someone if you're interested.
Yes. Yeah.
Yeah, should I like, I dunno,
fill out an application?
Can you be here
in thirty minutes?
Don't worry, it's tradition.
Every time someone quits
they get to destroy the wall.
-Hey, bro. You're Sam?
-Yes.
-J.D., General manager.
-Hi.
Come hang out in my office.
What's your story?
I don't normally
hire someone unless
they can give me
six month commitment
and Ellie here tells me that
you're leaving in August.
Right, yeah.
I'm going to school.
I have to pay off
some bills before I go.
Bills? What?
You're like, 12.
What bills do you have?
Um... It's...
I crashed my dad's truck
and I have to
pay off the damages.
It's not a big deal.
Yeah.
I've been there, dude.
Alright...
Yeah, I can...
I can hook you up with
a part time till you leave.
Thank you.
You have a form of transportation?
Nah. I got my license
suspended because...
-I can give him rides.
-Really?
Yeah, I'm here every day anyway.
Thank you.
Alrighty then.
-Welcome to the team.
-Thank you.
-Ellie will show you around.
-Yup.
Came out a little big.
Do you...?
It's the only one we have.
-OK.
-Wash it on hot a few times.
Here, follow me.
Each day you're gonna need
to straighten the wall
which requires you to walk
up and down the DVD aisles
and make sure everything's
straight enough for presentation.
They're Nazis about it.
Trust me,
you're gonna have nightmares
about shoveling DVD shelves.
See?
OK. It's easy enough.
Alight, you go down there
and you start. I'll be here.
Well,
-good first day, Sam.
-Thank--
Thank you, J.D.
Have a good night!
Do you know of any
places open late
like for food?
Yes, off of Haven and Baseline.
Cool, OK. I'll follow
you over there.
Wait, how did you get here?
Friend took me.
Is that your scooter over there?
Is that yours?
-That? No.
-No?
It's good that your
expectations are like down here.
-Yeah?
-Because it's not about to...
-Blow my mind?
-...blow your mind, yeah.
-You ready?
-OK.
Yeah, OK. Ready? Alright.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
I need more, like twelve more.
- They're the best.
-Yeah.
They're the best donuts.
So.
Why Video Flicks?
It pays. I dunno.
-I've had a lot of jobs.
-I wouldn't think that.
Why? 'Cause I hang out
with a bunch of entitled brats
who's parents pay for everything?
Well, when you put it like that.
Hey, it's a social circle
we share, that's it.
-Sorry, I didn't mean anything.
-No worries, it's fine.
I've been working
since I was 16.
What about college,
aren't you leaving soon?
Yeah, I'm figuring it out.
Weighing my options.
Which is code for "no clue",
so there's that.
Is Zach
one of those options?
Wait, what?
You... I mean, it has to
be more complicated making
a decision when you have
Zach to consider too, right?
Is that your sly way
of asking me if
like I have a boyfriend?
No.
Zach and I are on a break.
OK. What does that mean?
Just that we're not talking.
But you're together.
Yeah, sometimes things
aren't one way or the other.
OK.
-That's fair.
-Anyway, I...
I like this.
-What?
-This.
I'm starting to realize
that all of my friends
for the past four years
have just been party friends.
-What do you mean?
-Party friends, like
friends you get trashed with
or friends you talk about
nothing with.
Like, it's not real.
Yeah.
I'm not used to hanging out
with anyone at all.
C'mon, let's get you home.
See you tomorrow for work.
Are you tired?
No.
Me neither.
It's over here.
Wait, you live in a recording studio?
Yeah, it used to be a garage,
my dad converted it.
He was a musician too?
He was in a bunch of bands
when he was younger,
but he made a living off of commercials...
He wrote songs for commercials.
These were his guitars?
They're mine now.
Right.
"A poetic demise"?
Do I have to tell you about that?
Yeah.
It's this little stupid
band Bobby and I had...
a long time ago.
He lives next door.
He's my neighbor.
-It's a pretty expressive name.
-Yeah.
Those were not subtle years.
What's with the recorder?
Bobby's parents
felt he was spending too
much time with the band,
something about not wanting
him to end up homeless,
so they sent him to a math camp
for young entrepreneurs
one summer.
So my dad bought us that
voice recorder and we
recorded music tracks on it,
sent it back and forth all summer.
Cute.
So, you any good?
I'm OK.
Rochester's one of the best
music schools, right?
Yeah, something like that.
OK. So...
you're a little
better than good.
Play me something.
OK. You know, you play
me something now
or I listen to a track
from a poetic demise.
-That's pure evil.
-C'mon.
-Put the recorder down!
-OK.
-This is a work in progress.
-No disclaimers.
This is called "Our Only Son".
♪ I've been having dreams
Of my hometown in flame ♪
♪ You're watching me
Run from the border ♪
♪ You've been
Having your way ♪
♪ Hiding from me for days
♪ A reminder of all
That you wanted ♪
♪ How could you be
♪ Be without me
♪ How could you be
♪ Be without me
♪ Wish that I knew
♪ Wish that I knew
♪ Wishing I knew
♪ And I miss the days
Before we were estranged ♪
♪ Your suitcase half-full
With belongings ♪
♪ Life swept away
By one single day ♪
♪ Still spinning in
The wake of his leaving ♪
♪ And I wish that I had
♪ The strength to carry you
And I wish that I said ♪
♪ I'd never leave this town
♪ But I'm learning every day
♪ That sometimes we can't stay
♪ How could you be
♪ Be without me
♪ How could you be
♪ Be without me
♪ Wish that I knew
♪ Oh, I wish that I knew
♪ Wish I knew how
♪ Wish I knew how
♪ Wish I knew
That's it.
I don't know what to say.
-I'm sorry.
-No.
No, that's the last
thing I wanna hear.
Can't get your face out my head.
What do you mean?
Your face when you were playing.
I just wish I was that
passionate about anything.
Maybe you are.
I'm pregnant.
What?
Sorry.
- That was abrupt.
- No.
No it's... Fu...
What? But you were
drinking on grad night.
I like you, Sam.
But I'm not really an all or nothing
sort of person like you.
Wait, what do you mean?
Can we talk about it later?
Hey.
Hey, wake up.
Hi. Gotta go to work.
Get up.
-Hey, mom.
-Hey, Sam.
I thought you were
staying at Bobby's.
-Hi, Ellie.
-Hey, Miss Nimitz.
-Hey.
-We're just goin' to work.
You got a job?
Video Flicks.
Look at that.
I didn't know they were
still open, is that...?
-No, that's cool.
-Good to see you.
And you. That's...
Have a good day, kids.
What's with the men's
pj's on the couch?
They're my dad's.
She wears them when I'm not
around or thinks I'm not.
She hasn't slept in
their bed since, well...
That is the saddest
thing I've ever heard.
At least you guys still
have each other.
You know, after everything.
-You're right.
-Yeah.
Actually, no. We don't
really talk at all.
I don't know why
I lied just then.
OK. Just wait right there.
Boys, wake up!
Just 'cause it's summer
doesn't mean you get
to sleep all day!
Hey, let's go.
C'mon, you're mine.
Ah, you're
mine. We're gonna eat breakfast!
We're gonna eat all the goodies.
Alright. So we're
gonna do cereal...
a...
No phones. I said
no phones this year.
Yeah?
Yeah? Here we go.
--Yeah? Alright.
- Good morning.
- I have work, so I'm gonna go.
Alright, bye.
How are my boys.
Cool, you ready?
Sorry to do this to you, but
this morning I'm gonna
need you to call everybody
on the 30 day list.
OK, what is that?
It's a list
of everybody who's checked out a
movie for more than thirty days.
OK.
You got any tips?
Don't let 'em kill your spirit.
OK.
-Yeah?
-Hello, is this Mr. Foster?
-Who the fuck's askin'?
-Oh, um...
This is Sam from Video Flicks.
I'm calling about the
copy of Mona Lisa Smile
that you rented in January
and you've yet to return.
Sounds like my snake ex-wife
is still using my account.
Actually it says that you're
the only one with access.
-So... -Are you calling me a liar?
Sorry, excuse me?
Jesus, kid. Are you
even paying attention?
What kind of DVD-jockey are you?
Mr. Foster, right?
-How'd you know?
-He's a regular.
Don't take it personal.
What the hell is this?
Oh, here we go.
Do you realize that a cat
washes down a gigantic waterfall
in this movie, and survives?
A waterfall.
It's a kids' movie.
Oh, wow. This place is
losing its way, man.
First these stupid
grape shirts, now the
required factory films
where animals are surviving
totally impossible
dangers, giving kids
impractical expectations
for their own lives.
What can I say, Gus.
Corporate wasn't too keen on
you showing "Y tu Mama Tambie"
-on every afternoon.
-Y tu Mamá También
is a beautiful, perfect film,
and corporate is stupid.
-Who are you, who's this?
-This is Sam, friend of Ellie's.
And yes, he is of working age.
He's gonna be with
us until August.
Nice to meet ya,
how are you doin'?
You like shit like this?
Oh, um. Yeah, when I was a kid.
Don't worry, I'll show
you some real movies.
-Hey, Gus.
-Hey, Ellie. How's it goin'.
You look good today.
Saw you brought in the new kid.
-Yeah, be nice.
-Always.
-Should we initiate him tonight?
-I dunno.
What are you talking about?
Every Friday night Gus
screens a movie on the roof,
it's kind of a ritual.
Not bullshit
like this, I promise.
-Important stuff.
-Cool, I wanna go.
-OK.
-Yeah, we'll think about it.
Just joking, kiddo.
- Cool.
- No way that golden retriever
would make it out there alive.
It's a golden retriever!
You ever seen a movie
that shows
16 minutes
of a tree growing?
That's the kind of crap
we're gonna watch tonight.
Talking about my first short
film right now? Wanna go there?
-Oh, look who showed up.
-Sorry I'm late.
Did I miss the screening?
We were just about to play
hide and seek, you in?
Oh, I'm just gonna hang out.
-If it's cool.
-Suit yourself.
Everybody form up on me
over in the drama section,
we're gonna discuss the rules.
Alright, guys. Follow me.
We don't need to know the rules
'cause it's hide and seek.
What are you
thinking about?
Thinking about how there's
a child inside of you,
firstly.
What are you gonna do?
What do you think?
I have an appointment.
Yeah, just imagining
a life with Zach,
a life with like my mom's,
I just can't.
Why do you care so much anyway?
You trying to be my
boyfriend or something?
Just a friend looking out
for a friend.
Just checking.
What else is on your mind?
Nothing.
They're playing hide
and seek for three hours,
I'm gonna get it out of you.
Found all these photos
of my mom with this guy.
-Some guy before my dad.
-Like a high school boyfriend?
No.
It was serious,
they were engaged.
There were all these letters.
Did you read them?
You did.
They were so different.
Different how?
My mom really loved this guy.
She loved my dad
too, but these letters...
Every single one of them
was about forever.
My parents never
talked like that.
-Have you asked her about that?
-No.
I don't think she's
ready to talk
about anything,
but especially this.
Why don't you let
her decide that.
Why do you care so much?
Trying to be my girlfriend
or something?
No, no way.
Thank you for caring.
Of course.
Tag, you're it, fresh meat!
I think
you'd better run.
Hey, what's up?
You didn't go to bed?
You ready?
One, two, three.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, guys. Ready?
Let's go to bed.
OK.
My room's the first door
on the left.
You have good taste in movies.
-That surprise you?
-No.
Just saying.
Your...
mom's gonna be cool with me
bein' over here this late?
Yeah, we don't have
what you'd call a normal
parent - child relationship.
Yeah, I can relate.
Yeah.
Confession.
I knew that I wrote your
name wrong in your gym shorts.
I was just too shy to tell you.
No, you? Shy?
I can't imagine it.
I was, it was the first day
and there was this
cute guy and I was...
M...
--Me, cute?
Yeah, you were!
You had this big brown
moppy head of hair.
You were...
cute.
You're...
a little sadder...
a little more lost,
but you're cute.
Still cute.
Ellie...
You don't know...
how badly
I've wanted to know you
ever since that day.
I'm sorry I took so long.
I forgive you, again.
-Am I back off your hit-list?
-For now.
Is that why you didn't wanna
read your five year plan essay?
Just 'cause it was
like a huge list of
all these people
you were gonna kill?
I was hoping you'd
forget about that.
Wait, let me see
if I remember correctly.
- The type of people who leave
-and the kind who stay?
-No.
That was incomplete, OK?
Don't judge me.
Why don't we break out yours.
Well you read mine. Why don't
you recite it for me, you creep?
I don't think we can
trust anyone who says
they'll know where
they'll be in five years.
Will you take me to see Dean?
Dean?
The guy in the photos.
Why?
What is she gonna do
when I leave in August?
What is she gonna do without me?
I think that she'll be alright.
I'm gonna be across the country.
She's gonna be all alone.
We've built this weird
little life together.
And...
I dunno, if there's
something more for me,
there has to be something
more for her.
That's all I'm thinking about.
OK.
Yeah, let's go.
-Are you sure?
-Yeah, let's go.
Thank you.
-Hello?
-Can I help you?
Um, hi. You're Dean Hall?
Yeah.
This... Uh.
I'm Sam, This is Ellie.
Pleasure, what can I do for you?
We're just...
We're wanting to
furnish our new place.
Your new place?
It's not ours, it's for my mom.
Oh, OK. Is your mom here?
-No.
-No.
-She's not?
-No.
It's a surprise.
Are you guys brother and sister?
-Yeah.
-No.
Kids, c'mon. I don't
have time for this.
Try Living Spaces.
Do you know Janice Nimitz?
Yeah, I did.
I knew her as Janice
Hansen back then.
Yeah.
I'm her son.
So you wanna explain
the weird cover up...
out there?
Can you tell
me about that?
Oh, my God.
What do you want me to say?
I didn't know about
you guys until now.
Well it's not like it
was a secret or anything.
Mom and I met at high school and
dated for...
a couple of years and then...
eventually we got engaged.
But then what?
-She met your dad.
-You knew him?
Yeah, he was my best friend
when I was about your age.
We were in a band about the time
me and your mom got together.
She left you for
your best friend?
I wasn't perfect,
you know, I had my problems
I was...
I was a really angry kid.
He was a better choice.
How could you be
so cool about it? I would...
I'd die.
20 years is a very
sobering amount of time.
Why are you guys here?
So your mom had boyfriends
before your dad,
I wouldn't call that uncommon.
It's 'cause
she wants to see you.
What?
Yes.
How do you think
I got the photo?
She kept it, everything.
Look.
I really don't know what
to say about all this.
Would you see her again?
-I mean, I don't know.
-She's having a birthday party
next week at our house.
-She wouldn't wanna see me.
-I think she would.
Are you sure it's OK? I was just
like: "She wants to see you."
-Then I was like: "Shit."
-No. I wanted to say it myself.
Yeah, I was just thinking
about what you said, it's like,
she's gonna be alone. This
could be a good thing, right?
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah.
What?
You guys miss your dad.
Do you remember James Keller?
James Keller, the kid
with the prosthetic hand?
Yes, I do.
-That's an unexpected reference.
-Yeah.
We had a class together
the year after his accident.
He used to complain that it
hurt where his hand used to be.
It's this thing called
phantom limb pain.
He was supposed to
take pills for it,
but he told me that he wouldn't,
sometimes just because he liked
the feeling of it being there
even if it hurt.
It's like a part of us has gone
and our only connection
to him now is the pain.
Trying to move on
would mean erasing him.
I dunno, it's messed up maybe.
It's not messed up.
I understand.
What about your dad?
Where are we?
This is the house I grew up in.
We had to give it up after
my dad left 'cause we couldn't
afford the mortgage anymore.
I told myself I'd come back
when I was older and buy it
with my new family.
I have so many memories
in this house.
Before my mom was dating
a new guy every week,
and I had to explain
to my brothers why
I had to take care
of them and live on.
My dad used to park
his station wagon
over that oil stain
in the driveway.
I have this memory of
Christopher, Frank and I;
it was a Sunday afternoon,
my dad came home from the store
and he was like, "guys...
look what I found in
my basket at the store."
He got out his bag and we
were just running around
circling him, desperately
wanting to know what was inside.
What was inside?
I can't remember.
Can you take me to my
appointment on Saturday?
Please? I need
someone to take me.
OK. Yeah.
-Yeah, I'll do it.
-Really?
Yeah. Terrified, but...
Yeah, I'll do it.
Thank you.
--No, you don't.
I wanna do it.
I love you, you know.
Thank you.
So do you just get paid
to stand here all day?
Yeah, it's for now. I'm getting
trained on register next week.
Oh, nice.
-Keys to the castle already.
-Bobby, I don't...
It's really nice of you
to give me a ride,
but I don't want them to think
we're just hanging out here.
What? No, I'm thinking 'bout
buying some previously owned
DVD's, as advertised.
I'm a costumer.
What happened to your
girlfriend, I thought
-she was giving you rides.
-She is.
I dunno, she took
the afternoon off.
How's that going?
I guess it's
getting pretty real.
Oh, yeah?
Alright. Gettin' out
of your shell.
-Gettin' in that pipe.
-No!
What? Pipe?
Stop saying that. It's not...
It's like, we like each other,
you know. We actually like
each other, it's a real thing.
Whatever blows your
hair back, man.
As long as you're
out of the garage.
- Alright.
- Oh, 12 o'clock.
- I will see you tomorrow.
- Later.
Bye.
-Hey, how's it goin'?
-Hey.
Well, DVD's are safe.
Man's guarding it
like a junkyard dog.
Were you at the beach?
Yeah, my friend had
a birthday thing.
Alrighty, I'm gonna go change.
See you in there.
I feel you, man.
So real.
It's kind of funny, though.
Sorry.
What are you doing after work?
Just watching my brothers,
nothing exciting.
So...
what are you guys doin'
this Friday?
-What's Friday?
-Pool party.
My place.
Okay.
Sam, you in?
I can't, it's my mom's birthday.
Bummer. Come after, maybe.
Yeah, maybe. Are you coming
to my mom's birthday?
It's your family thing.
I'll just see you after, OK?
Yeah.
Alright, let's close
it down, yeah?
-Yeah.
-Can I drive you home?
Yeah, sure.
Wait.
I don't...
wanna make it
awkward, but...
what's going on
with you and Zach?
Is that why you've
been so quiet?
We've been friends for
a really long time,
we dated for a little bit.
Didn't work out, so we're just
trying to move passed it.
You understand?
Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Don't be sad.
I'm not.
OK.
Surprise!
Oh, you're such troubles.
Hi.
You missed the surprise, but...
Yeah, sorry.
I sat in the car for
about 30 minutes before
I tuned on the engine.
You don't have to do it
if you don't want to.
No, I know. I do.
I do. OK.
I just can't believe
you all drove in.
Mom.
Someone's here to see you.
Hey, Janice.
Peggy, Allen, nice to see
you guys, it's been a while.
I'm sorry, I just don't...
I don't und..
I'm sorry, can you
just give me a second?
Excuse me.
One sec.
Hey, mom?
Can you open the door, please?
I was just trying to...
What have you done?
What are you doing?
I'm trying to help you.
You're trying to
help me do what?
I saw all those letters and
the photos between you and Dean.
I saw how in love you guys were.
Oh, my God, Sam.
That was 20 years ago. 20!
What are you thinking?
What gives you any right
to go through my life?
I'm sorry.
OK?
I do not need your help.
I don't need to be saved by
anybody, let alone my own kid.
You are the child,
I am the parent,
-stop forgetting that.
-Then act like one!
You can't just quit your life
because something bad happened.
I already lost my dad, I don't
need to lose my mom too.
-You're not losing me.
-I already have.
All day, every day,
all you do is sleep
on that couch.
You never talk to me.
You made me move
into dad's studio,
so you wouldn't have to see me.
-I did not make you.
-You sure as hell made
a good argument for it.
And you never come to see me.
You just threw me in there
with all of his other stuff
you don't wanna see. Now I'm
alone with it all the time.
I didn't know
you felt like this.
Of course I do.
You practically just
waiting for me
to leave for school next month.
I just remind you of him
and now you want me gone too.
I'm sorry.
Sam!
Yeah, I'm glad you could
make it, man. C'mon.
Hey, J.D.
-Have you seen Ellie?
-Ellie, yeah.
I think... Hey, man.
Uh, Ellie, yeah.
She's around here somewhere.
She's with Zach.
Why don't you try the pool, man.
Good luck.
- Yeah.
- C'mon.
Your turn. Up. Go!
No, you go.
-Sam, stop.
-What do you want from me?
Just talk to me, please. Sam!
-No, shut up.
-What?
Shut up!
You told me...
-that you were just friends.
-We are just friends!
You don't act like that
with your ex-boyfriend
when you're starting a
relationship with somebody new.
Back off, OK. I didn't know
this was a relationship.
Are you...? No!
Are you kidding me?
Not everything has to be
one way or the other, right?
Must be easy living like that.
I think you might be right,
we might just all end up
like our parents.
-What's that supposed to mean?
-Go ahead and have that baby,
get on with it.
I let you into my life,
Sam, and then...
You're just gonnause it against me?
Yeah. Doesn't feel good to
have people you trust
be reckless with you, does it?
I'm sorry, OK?
God, give me a break!
Haven't you ever been
unsure about anything?
No.
Not when it comes to you.
God, stop looking at me like that!
Just 'cause you liked me all
these years doesn't mean
I have to be your fantasy.
No, it's not about that.
Then what?
I thought we were in it together.
Don't you think it's weird
that we drive?
And like we're...
monkeys.
OK. So like, imagine Lucy driving a car.
Who is Lucy?
Did I...?
I can't...
I think you've had
enough of this.
Hey, there's Sam.
-Sam.
-My man, Sam arrived.
-Yo, Sam. What are you doin'?
-Sam.
- I'm going home.
Come here real quick.
What's going on, man?
What's up?
Trouble in paradise
with Ellie Vaughn?
Now you join the army
of other young men
who have been burned
by miss Vaughn.
You guys should
start a scholarship.
On the bright side
you're back on the horse.
Get off me!
Hey, man. Don't be killin'
the fuckin' vibe like that.
Killing the vibe,
Samming the mood,
-aren't I?
-Yeah.
As a matter of fact
you were Samming the mood.
I'm really sorry that
my dad killing himself
has been cramping
you style so much.
What?
Alright, dude,
I'm too high for this.
You're always high, drunk,
trying to sleep with some girl.
Don't you care
about anything else?
Please stop pretending
we're friends.
Alright, come here, dude.
I don't know what's goin' on.
You know...
For the past year
I've been trying
to get you out
of this house.
No, you just wanna
stay cuddled up
on your little island
in your garage, don't you?
It's just me pretending
to be your friend, right?
What about our band
you just totally bailed.
I didn't
think Poetic Demise
was gonna make any
real waves! Can you stop?
-It was ours, though.
-I know.
Look this shit was hard
on all of us.
OK? Everybody misses your dad.
Me, you, your mom. Everybody
who knew the guy, misses him.
I knew him since
I was a little kid!
He was the only person
that believed in my music.
The only person!
My parents are sending me to
math camp and shit like,
who the fuck does that?
So...
Just take the fuckin' chip
off your shoulder, man.
Yeah.
Order number seven...
zero, one, zero,
zero, zero, one.
Yeah.
Hey, can I call you back?
Alright, yeah. Bye.
You wanna come in?
You're not gonna run my hand
through the band saw, are you?
C'mon. C'mere.
I'm...
so, sorry.
It's alright.
-Just like that?
-Just like that.
Are you not pissed at me?
I was.
I get it.
You're a good kid, you just...
did somethin' stupid.
I just...
I can't...
handle
the kind of people who leave.
Now with the going
to school, my...
And in doing that, I am that.
People who leave,
people who stay, man.
I haven't heard that in a long
time. Let me tell you something,
it's easy to draw lines
in the sand.
But trust me,
people don't exist...
on one side or the other.
You don't have to listen
to me, but I think you should.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
All this bullshit...
doesn't have to define you.
OK? That's what you
need to control.
How do you control it?
This...
is where I feel in control.
I dunno, isn't it all kind of tedious?
Sometimes it is.
But you know,
I get to beat
the shit out of wood and
metal all day.
And over time
make something beautiful.
See?
You don't have any
dead bodies, right?
Yeah,
they're in the freezer.
Wanna give it a shot?
-Yeah.
-Yup.
Look at that, it's easy.
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
Alright.
What do you say,
you wanna build somethin'?
-Yeah.
-What are you thinkin'?
Kitchen table?
Coffee table?
Actually, I think
I got something.
Eleanor Vaughn?
Please put this on for us.
And the doctor will be right in.
Welcome back.
Let's do four,
-so what we'd get out is four.
-Yeah.
3, 12, 16.
OK, 'cause we're gonna turn it
into squares, right?
Yeah.
Hey.
Tomorrow your last day?
Yeah.
When do you leave for Rochester?
Three days.
Can I give you a ride home?
Can I drive us somewhere?
-What?
-I wanted to drive us somewhere.
What about your license?
I don't know.
How do you turn on
your brights?
Oh, here.
So, are you gonna tell me why
you took me to the middle of nowhere?
Sam?
This is where he did it.
Hey, come here.
I tried to come
before, I just wanted to see it.
The police said...
The police said that
they didn't find anything.
Just his truck and a gun.
You know...
Is that when you crashed his truck?
It's a stick shift.
I didn't get in very many lessons,
so I was obviously
not very good.
I don't know,
it got stuck in third.
I lost control. I dunno.
It didn't feel right to leave
this place without seeing it.
I'm sorry, Sam.
-You don't have to be sorry.
-No, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry about your dad.
And I'm sorry about the party.
And I'm sorry for everything.
-I'm sorry.
-Don't be.
No, listen. OK, we got close.
We got closer than
I've ever been
with anyone in my whole life.
And...
I let my relationship with Zach
bleed into ours,
and that's not fair.
I didn't mean what
I said about...
you ending up like your mom.
I don't think that.
I wish we could've
met down the road.
When we were like 27
and we have everything
all figured out.
I think we needed
each other now.
I hate that you're leaving.
Maybe we'll try again
when we're 27.
OK.
I like that. You'll be some
like...
world-class composer
and I'll be like this...
That's T.B.D,
but it will also be great
and world-class.
It's a great plan.
Yeah.
OK.
So nine years.
I'm gonna be waiting.
Just tell me you will too.
I will.
Sad to see you go.
You know what this
means, though, right?
The truth is people are much
more complicated than that.
They don't exist
on one side or the other.
You have to let them in just as often
as you let them leave.
Bye, guys. Bye,
I'll be back later, OK?
It's the phantom limb pain
that we carry with us
even after people leave.
And that's OK because
it's ours to share.
Alright, here's what I was
thinking for the intro track,
it's kind of rough, but
I feel like it captures
that raw mood we
were talking about.
This may not
be a five year plan per se,
but who really knows.
We're all just doing the best we can
and if that's good enough...
It has to be.
Hey.
Thank you.
Love what you've done
with the place.
Thank you.
I know you've been
spending time with Dean.
He called me
and asked if it was OK.
Is it?
Dean's a good guy.
He did not deserve what
your dad and I did to him.
I have a question.
Looking back...
Do you still think
you made the right choice?
I loved your father.
I mean, I loved your dad.
And I know you've tried
really hard to understand
why he did what he did.
It's...
It's so hard to accept that...
Sometimes people are just...
sick.
I mean, that's it, you know.
Nothing more to it than that.
At least that's what
I've spent the last year
trying to convince myself of.
And I know you think
I'm a hopeless shut-in.
You are not wrong, it's true.
I know I haven't made a lot of
attempts at normal since...
Well.
A couple of months
before it happened...
we got into
a really bad fight.
I was just so sick of him making
me suffer with him, you know?
And...
He asked me
if I regretted
choosing him over Dean.
And...
I just didn't answer,
I just didn't say anything.
I just let him sit in it,
you know, just let him wonder.
Mom.
Then a few months later
he did what he did.
I really need you to
forgive me for that
because I can't
forgive myself, Sam.
It's OK that we
don't have all the answers.
My God, you're leaving.
I've been hiding from you,
I've wasted so much time.
We've just been hiding
from each other.
Can I show you something?
Please.
OK.
♪ I've been having dreams
Of my hometown in flame ♪
♪ You watching me run
In the border ♪
♪ You've been having your way
Hiding from me for days ♪
♪ A reminder of
All that you wanted ♪
♪ How could you be
♪ Be without me
♪ How could you be
♪ Be without me
♪ Wish that I knew
♪ Wish that I knew
♪ Wish I knew
-- English --