Sawdust and Tinsel (1953) - full transcript

While traveling in caravan through the country of Sweden, one member of the decadent Alberti Circus tells the owner and ringmaster Albert Johansson a sad story about the clown Frost: seven years ago, his wife Alma was surprised by him bathing naked in a lake with a regiment. When the circus arrives in the town where Albert's wife Agda and sons live, he decides to pay a visit with his young mistress Anne to a famous local troupe to borrow some capes, hats and vests for their tonight show. They are humiliated by the director Mr. Sjuberg, but he lends the pieces, and the lead actor Frans gives an unsuccessful pass on Anne. When Albert decides to visit Agda, the jealous Anne meets Frans, who seduces her with an apparently valuable necklace, and they have a love affair. Anne finds that the necklace is actually worthless and returns to the circus. Meanwhile, Agda refuses to accept Albert back and he sees Anne leaving the theater and going to the jewelry. During the exhibition, Albert and Anne are submitted to humiliations by Frans.

DIGITALLY RESTORED IN 2017

SAWDUST AND TINSEL

A BROADSIDE BALLAD ON FILM
FROM INGMAR BERGMAN

You see the wife and kids tomorrow.
Are you ready?

Yes, it's been three years.

Did you hear the story about Frost
the clown and his wife, Alma?

We were with Weger back then.

Was that in the next town?

Yes. I was there.
It was a hell of a business.

Tell the story if you want.

Poor old Frost.



It was a hot summer's day...
let's see, seven years ago.

The regiment had
shooting practice by the shore.

The officers lay on the grass,
hot and sweaty,

drinking out of boredom.

The soldiers slogged away
in the quarry

and cursed the awful heat.

Then along came Alma,
an imposing woman.

Carried herself like a queen,

if a bit past her prime.

Yes, I heard that.

I once had the opportunity

to perform for His Majesty...

The captain sends his greetings.

The captain has the honor
of presenting me with... what?



Your wife Alma...

My wife Alma... go on.

...is swimming naked
with the regiment!

- Show you're a man!
- We'll help you give her hell!

We'll help you tan
that saucy hide of hers!

You come with me!

Man the cannons!

Alma began to shriek
that we'd done her old man in.

We got angry
and told her it was her own fault.

But we picked him up
and carried him back anyway.

That's a woman and love for you.

What are you doing, Guldström?

Are you crazy?

Come here!

In this rain!

None of us has been paid,

and we have nothing to eat.

We had to leave
half the costumes behind.

Many of us have nothing
to perform in.

We understand it's hard for you.

You can't do anything
about the weather.

The Ekbergs and Asta
and all the kids have worms,

and all the wagons are full of fleas.

I could start my own menagerie.

They say bear meat
is a delicacy.

Let's kill the bear
before it starves to death.

Shut up!

We'd kill you before we'd do that!

I'd rather kill myself!

What do you say, Albert?

You haven't said a word.

You try to do your best,

but you still end up
feeling like a fool.

But in America...
- This isn't America. This is Skåne!

In America...

circus folk ride through town

while bands play
and the elephants trumpet.

Everyone puts on their biggest smile,

and people line the streets
and cheer.

A booming voice announces
the show for that evening.

Why don't we take
the wagons and horses

and put on our best costumes...

- The ones we left behind?
- No, the ones we kept.

We'll make posters.

Ekberg will play,
and Anton will announce the program.

Not a bad idea!

I'll wear my green costume
with the feathers.

I won't perform with the dwarf!

I'll shout,
"Here comes the Alberti Circus!"

Listen, I have another idea.

Sjuberg's theater troupe is in town.

I'll ask them to lend us costumes
for a grand gala tonight!

Then we'll throw a big dinner
for them after the show,

with four kinds of liquor,

chateaubriand, and caviar!

On the blossom-covered hill
Hjalmar sings

Of battles of long ago

Look! It's clearing up!

Put on your nice yellow dress,

curl your hair,
and put on your best makeup.

We're paying a visit.
- To the governor?

- Sjuberg, my girl.
- The theater director? You're mad.

Look what I found!

Wash behind your ears, you pig.

You won't leave me, will you?

- What do you mean?
- If the circus goes bust.

Oh, you!

We'll come up with a plan.

You'll never leave me, will you?
You promised!

Take it easy, child.

You're going to see your wife.

And my boys.
It's been three years.

I'm scared.
You won't go back to them, will you?

Don't worry, little girl.

May I shave now?

Anyway, our luck has to change.
- You think so?

Of course. Some circus owners
are colossally rich,

with houses, diamonds,

and automobiles,
or whatever they're called.

Of course...

that's in America.

Of course that costume
wasn't left behind!

Or the parasol either!
You can bet on that!

- What's wrong?
- Wrong? Nothing.

You seem nervous.

Me? Not at all.

Remember: I'll do the talking.

You sit there quietly
with your most charming smile.

Sjuberg's very fond
of pretty girls.

Breathe deeply
to show off your bosom,

and show him your legs
if he asks.

Don't worry... I'll be there.

If he gets fresh, I'll slug him.
Shall we?

NOW PLAYING: BETRAYAL

A pure heart is a woman's
most treasured possession.

It will with stand every temptation.

Rest assured, Father...

that your words of warning
will bear fruit in my heart.

Dear lady, your mother
would speak with your noble sire.

My lord!

Madam...

leave us alone for a while.

Mr. Galender!

Yes, sir?

Start over from page 36.

- Who are you here to see?
- The director.

- He's in rehearsal!
- May we wait?

No, he's very busy.

Who the devil
is Blom blabbering with?

A lady and gentlemen to see you, sir.
I told them...

Tell them to go to hell!

No, wait. Bring them here.

Stop, damn it!
The director will see you.

It's not important.
We'll come back another day...

Good morning, Mr. Sjuberg.

Lovely weather today.

I am Albert Johansson.

I own the Alberti Circus,
which just arrived in town today.

And this is my wife, Anne.

Curtsy to the director.

How may I be of assistance?

We, uh...

A chair for the lady, Mr. Blom.

Allow me, your ladyship.

Please.

Go on, Mr. Alberti.

Well, the thing is that,

due to an unfortunate mishap,

half our costumes
were ruined in Askared.

I thought perhaps Mr. Sjuberg
might come to our rescue

and lend us some capes,
trousers, and hats.

Between colleagues.

What if our costumes get infested?

Scabies, lice, strange diseases.

I've never dealt
with a circus before.

Dreadful things could happen.

Mr. Sjuberg, I assure you...

How much can you pay?

Well, that is, I thought...

We were counting on...
How much do you want?

- More than you can pay.
- Why do you insult me?

Why?

Because we belong to the same riffraff,
the same wretched pack,

and because you put up
with my insults.

No, don't hit me.

You live in caravans.
We stay in filthy hotels.

We make art.
You make artifice.

The lowest of us would spit
on the best of you. Why?

You only risk your lives.
We risk our pride.

I think you look ridiculous
and overdressed,

and your little lady would look
better without her finery.

If you dared,
you'd think us even sillier,

with our shabby elegance,
our painted faces,

our pretentious speech.

So why shouldn't I insult you?

I don't understand.

That's why you win.

What about the costumes?

You may borrow them.
Take what you need.

What about payment?

Invite us to the circus tonight.

- It will be an honor.
- Quite so.

Blom will show you to the costumes.

Good-bye.

Carry on with rehearsal.
Same scene.

You've driven me half mad...

out of my senses.

Will you marry me?

You can't go off with that old ass!

Do you share his bed?

Do you whisper
sweet nothings in his ear?

Come with me. You must.

Torture me no more. I love you.

I want you now.

Come, before I take you by force

right in front of
your ridiculous circus director!

Let me go!

Let them do what they want...
I won't let you go.

You can't treat me like this
or speak so of my husband.

Don't touch me, you...

If we were alone,

I'd strike you down.

I'd crush your resistance
like a piece of dirty paper.

What play did you steal that from?

Don't be ridiculous,
snorting like a bull!

I'm not your cow!

Save it for your pale,
flat-chested actresses

who swoon
if you look in their direction!

What is your ladyship's price?

Tactless of me
not to mention that.

We should have
discussed price first.

You're too pretty, you poor thing.

You might just as well be a girl.

Know what I think?

You've never satisfied a woman.

Be careful what you say,
you little ass.

You're not so pretty
with your ears burning.

Touch me
and I'll bite those lips to shreds.

I'll make mincemeat of them.

No, I'm not pretty, but you are.

Forgive what I said, I beg of you.

You must forgive me.
You must love me.

You must!

I beg you!

On your knees then.

Bang your head on the floor.

Do as I say. Again. Harder.

I shall kiss you once...

and only once.

Go away.

Go! You've hurt me too badly!

What costumes!
What a parade!

The Alberti Circus
will throw a grand gala tonight!

My little Anne, Blom's our friend!

He shared his schnapps with me!

Care for some?

Ladies and gentlemen,
listen and marvel!

At great expense and sacrifice,

the Alberti Circus
has come to visit your town

and dazzle you tonight

with a gala performance
the likes of which you've never seen!

Beauty and thrills...

to say nothing of laughter!

The greatest laughs of your life!

Magnificent costumes and sets,

and artists who've won renown

in the major capitals of the world!

Silence!

Silence! You hear me?

What are these shenanigans?
Don't you know this is illegal?

- We're just promoting our...
- Did you obtain a permit, sir?

- A permit? We thought...
- You thought!

Climb down from there
and get to the fairground.

Practice your damned "art" there!

- But...
- Shut up, you impudent circus ape!

Must I pound His Majesty's laws
into that thick skull of yours?

Now get down and clear out.
Let's get them!

Cop, cop, stupid fop!

Unhitch the horses!

We're keeping
your horses until tomorrow.

That'll teach you to be impudent!

Go on now!

You too!

Damned carnies!

Go on!
Take the horses away!

You can't play here
when we're playing!

Sit down or we'll shoot you!

No, I didn't mean it like that.

I want to get cleaned up!

- You don't usually clean my boots.
- So she can't say they're dirty.

Oh, to hell with them!
Let her say what she likes!

You shouldn't drink in the morning.

- When will you be back?
- That's my business.

Or will you stay the night?
How nice!

Can't I visit my boys?
It's been three years.

- Then why all the fuss now?
- You wouldn't understand.

I understand she's waiting
for you to come back

and pretend to help in her shop.
That would suit you fine!

Shut your trap.

You don't deny it.

You want to put
all this behind you.

You old buzzard!

You're getting old
and rickety and scared!

I'll be back for the show.

- Don't go.
- Why?

Don't go, I beg you!

- You're crying.
- I am not.

- Are you jealous?
- Is that so strange?

You're leaving.
You might not come back.

You're sick of the circus
and me and everything.

What would I do without you?

I love you.

You don't love me...

or you wouldn't go see your wife.

I really do love you.

No, you don't.

All right, damn it, I don't!

I won't be here when you get back.
You hear me?

Where will you go?

I just won't be here.

Suit yourself.

I won't be here!

- Can I help you?
- Good day.

I'd like...

Don't you recognize me?
- No.

I see.

Can I help you?

- Is your mother here?
- Yes.

- May I speak with her?
- She's fixing lunch.

Perhaps I could sit down and wait.

Nice weather we're having.

Are you my father?

Yes.

- How have you been?
- Fine, thanks.

- And Albert?
- He lost a tooth yesterday.

You help your mother in the shop?
That's a good boy.

I mean... good boy.

How old are you?
- Nine.

A big boy! Would you like
to come join the circus?

No!

Here comes Mother.

Hello, Agda.

I was in town
and thought I'd drop in.

- Would you like lunch?
- Do I look that hungry?

I didn't mean that.

Yes, thanks.

Come in, then.

Look after the shop.

All I can offer is pancakes.
Will they do?

They'll do just fine.

Things are going well for you.

Yes, I took over
the other tobacco shop.

We're the only ones in town
selling tobacco now.

It pays well.

You kept the old shop?

What do you think?

Take off your coat, if you like.
- I'm all right.

Take off your coat.
I'll sew on your button.

What have you done
with your shirts?

Mind your own business!

- You might buy one.
- I have no money!

- Don't shout at me.
- You always...

If you're going to quarrel,
leave right now.

If you like,
you can borrow from me.

- Keep your damn money!
- What kind of talk is that?

"What kind of talk is that?"
Keep your nose out of my affairs.

I don't need your generosity.

You're always so touchy.
Why can't you act normal for once?

Why shouldn't you borrow
from me?

You've got the upper hand now
and want to get even.

- Why should I?
- Stop it. You're a terrible actress.

You mean because you left me?

Don't you realize
how grateful I am?

That's right... grateful.

When you left me,
I finally found peace.

My life was my own again.

No more of that dreadful circus
that I always loathed and feared.

All those people
shouting and swearing,

always being on the road,

that world of misery,
lice, disease.

No, my dear.

I'm happy now.

And grateful.

Shall we go in the other room?

Of course.

- You're a capable woman, Agda.
- I'm glad you think so.

We had some good times too.

I mean together in the circus,
before you inherited the shop.

I didn't like you training the boys.
I was always freezing and afraid.

No, those were hard years.
- Why did you stay?

- I was in love.
- But it passed?

Need we speak of that?

No, perhaps not.

First it was infatuation.
Then it was love.

But when you left me,
all that died practically overnight.

It was very strange.

I didn't leave you.

You stayed here with the shop,
and I moved on.

Let's not talk about it.

You're so clear-headed.
I'm always in a muddle.

Are you in trouble?
I mean, financially?

Need you ask?

Cheers, Albert.

Cheers, Agda.
Thanks for the meal.

It's so quiet here.

It's always the same,
summer and winter.

Yes, it's a quiet street.

Year in and year out...

everything stands still.

For me it's fulfillment.

For me it's emptiness.

In truth

I am but a poor jester

in this farce of dark shadows.

Her deceitful heart,

her frailty,

even her taunting indifference,

turn my world
upside down every day

and every hour.

I ask myself...

"Art thou Count Badrincourt
of Chamballe,

or the most miserable
of wretches?"

Therefore, dagger...

leap from thy hiding place

and find a place
where thou canst slake thy thirst.

How gladly I greet thee,
sweet mistress,

and press thee to my breast.

Let us celebrate our night of love

here in this quiet park,

where first my cruel goddess
did grant me her favor.

Farewell, O world.

Farewell, my sovereign lady.

May thy tears water
my poor grave.

I die...

Curtain up!

Everyone on stage!

That's it for today.

That was dreadful.
I hope it's better tomorrow.

Blom, you're an idiot.
- Thank you, sir. I know.

I want to leave the circus.

You're laughing at me.

I think you're beautiful.
That's why I'm smiling.

You don't have to marry me.
Just look after me.

You smell of stables,
cheap perfume, and sweat.

But I'll lick you clean like a dog.

What makeup!

Come. I'll teach you.

Let's see that mouth.

- Do I really smell of sweat?
- I was only teasing.

It's true.
My perfume isn't very nice.

Use some of mine.

Here.

You have beautiful hands.

How lovely!
It must be expensive.

It's yours.

I can't help it
if my dress smells of manure.

Everything in our wagon does.

Make me up now.

What do you need makeup for?

- Who gave you this?
- It's for luck.

It's from a woman!

I'll be gone when he gets back.

No more Spanish señorita
to ride his bony nag,

no more damsel in tights
for the drunk conjurer to saw in two.

I won't be there.

- And when you tire of me?
- I'll kill you, of course.

If I don't kill you first.

Oh, I'm very strong. Feel!

Very strong.

- I can crack nuts with my teeth too.
- Now I'm scared.

I can ride great geldings
bareback at a full gallop,

holding on with just my thighs.
Could you do that?

No, I don't think so.

You're a poor weakling.

You have a very nice body,
but you don't exercise.

You're flabby.
- Watch your tongue!

Shall we arm-wrestle?
I bet I'll win.

You eat too much.

Let me go!

I don't want to!

You want me to let go of you?

I can't!

I don't want to. Let me go.

Give me the key.

You're a circus girl. Tell me:
How do you make the bears dance?

With red-hot irons?

The key!

- Do you hate me?
- Give me the key!

You do.
I prefer you this way.

The key!

You shall have it... later.

Let's finish our game first, shall we?

See this amulet?

It's very valuable.

A gift from a grateful lady.

If you're a good girl,
it shall be yours.

You can buy pretty dresses,
live on it for a whole year.

You can leave the circus.

It will bring you good luck.

You can sell it to the goldsmith
around the corner this afternoon.

I can live on it?

For at least a year, Anne.

Real pearls.
See for yourself.

I can go afterwards?

You promise to give me the key?

I promise.

And never tell?

And never tell.

Here you are.

I did what I could,
but you really should...

Thanks. Very kind.

Thanks again.

Well...

Hello.

What is it?

Mother, there's an old man
with a barrel organ

and a monkey
that does tricks for a nickel.

That's too much.
A nickel is a lot of money.

Can't I have one, Mother?

I'll give you a nickel.

Say thank you.

Now off you go.
- Good-bye.

Tired?

The brandy and all the food.

Agda.

This is hard to say.
I don't know where to start...

Then don't.

- You won't get angry?
- I can't promise.

All right. I promise.

I want to stay here with you.

I'm too old for the circus.
I can't go on. I don't want to.

I want to lead
a quiet life here with you

and watch my boys grow up.

I could help out in the shop.

I have a pleasant manner
when I try, you know.

Tell me I can stay.
You won't regret it.

I won't let you down again.

Don't stand there like a beggar.

I am a beggar.

But you're wrong
if you think it's money I'm after.

I'll sell the tent and costumes
and my share of the horses

and put the money
into the shops.

- You talk so much.
- And you say nothing.

What do you want me to say?

That I can stay.

No, you can't stay.

Is there someone else?

What would that matter?

I'm not the type
to spend my life alone...

but no one's going to take away
my freedom or peace of mind.

You hear? No one.

- Where did you go?
- Why do you ask?

- Can't I ask a question?
- You said it so strangely.

I did not.

I went for a stroll in town.

- Alone?
- What of it?

- Is that all?
- And what about you?

That's my business.
Besides, you already know.

I don't know what you
and your wife did all day.

- We discussed you.
- Got a guilty conscience?

- No, but I think you do.
- Why should I?

Can't I go window-shopping?

At the goldsmith's?

- Were you spying on me?
- No.

I happened to see you
leave the theater

and go into the goldsmith's.

What if I did?

What business
did you have at the theater?

I watched a rehearsal.
Is that a sin?

- Who was there?
- Lots of people. I didn't know them.

- Frans?
- Quite possibly.

- Did you speak with him?
- No.

- Are you sure?
- We didn't speak a word.

Why did you look
so disheveled when you left?

I fell on the stairs
and hurt myself.

Damn it!
It's like a cross-examination!

Were you unfaithful?

You're mad!
You have no right to...

- Why so scared?
- I thought you were going to hit me.

Not if you tell the truth.

Yes, I spoke to Frans.

- Did you go in his dressing room?
- I just looked in.

- You slept with him.
- No, I swear!

Tell the truth

or I'll smash your face in.

You make me say things
that aren't true.

I make you tell the truth.
I can see in your eyes you're lying!

I went to his room. He gave me
an amulet he said I could sell.

That's why I went
to the goldsmith's.

- Where's this amulet?
- It was worthless!

- And you slept with him for it?
- No!

I can tell you're lying!

Yell all you want!
No one will come running to help.

I wasn't unfaithful to you!
I wasn't!

I could beat the life out of you...

but it's not worth the trouble.

Go on lying if it makes you happy!

I did sleep with Frans.

But he practically raped me.

He locked me in his room
and wouldn't let me out.

I was afraid I'd be late
for the performance.

Then he gave me the amulet.

He threatened me.
I was scared and didn't dare refuse.

Say something!

You want me to say you're lying?

That I overheard him
trying to woo you this morning?

Want to know what I think?

I think you went to see him

because you're as sick
of the circus and me

as I am of the circus and you.

Stop laughing like that!

We're all stuck, Anne.

Stuck like the devil.

The performance tonight
will be sensational!

No doubt about that.

Not a doubt in the world.

With horn music for horned cattle,

and tooting brass
for the farting herd!

Well, I'll be damned!

To your health, brother.

Cheers.

When I think about it...

there isn't a single person I hate.

Not even the policeman
in the square today.

I can't even hate Anne...

even though she was unfaithful.

But I know you despise me.

You despise everyone,
most of all yourself!

But I love people!
I'd like to caress them all!

I'm not afraid of them.

I don't want to travel
the countryside like an idiot

with this lousy circus.

I want out of the circus!

I want to be an honest citizen

with money in the bank
and a respectable wife.

Anne, you could never be
a respectable wife.

I can tell you that much.

And I'll never marry you

because you were unfaithful!

Poor little thing!

Isn't it nice being
maudlin and sentimental?

Poor Anne...

poor Agda...

my poor little boys.

And you, you devil!

And your miserable wife!

It's a pity people
have to live on this earth.

It's a real pity!

They're all so frightened.

So frightened.

Yes, it's a shame.

Yes, it's a shame to be Albert!

It's a shame to be Albert!

A shame!

But now I'm going to rise up...

and do something
worthy of a human being.

- You mean kill yourself?
- I didn't say that!

I got this from Timba,
the tiger trainer.

You ought to shoot the bear.

It's in a bad way.

Yes, I ought to shoot the bear.

And don't forget
to shoot my wife too.

It would be an act of kindness.

We should shoot everyone
we feel sorry for.

Just five or six people.

I should shoot you too,
my dear Frost!

But I have my poor old dad
to care for!

- Are you afraid?
- No.

Yes, I am.

- Afraid to die?
- Yes.

Well...

I'm not afraid of death.

Then kill yourself!

No!

It's hot in here!

Yes, let's get out!
Open the door!

What a life!
Look at life all around us!

I love it!

A soldier rides home
from a faraway land

Leaving the war far behind

The first thing he does
is to ask all he meets

If his beloved
is still alive and well

"She's very much alive
and doing well indeed

For she's to marry
this very day"

He quickens his pace
Like a bird he flies

For to see his Elin once again

Damn it! Why did I wring
the truth out of Anne?

So what if they cheat,
as long as you don't know!

So now you're jealous?

I'll crush her with my own hands.

I'll beg her forgiveness
and ask her to tell me everything.

Am I going mad?

I'll ask her to tell me
every detail of what they did.

Is that mad?
Do you understand?

No, but I don't give a damn.

Little Anne.
Simple little Anne.

My little sweetheart,
my little girl.

Why should
that blasted hussy leave me?

I'll do the same!
- Got it off your chest now?

- You're cold as an icicle!
- Let's get up!

Come on!

Quiet, everyone!
Start getting ready for the show!

The police have
both our horses!

Albert's drunk!

Hurry up now!
The show starts in an hour!

- Peter, did you fill the lamps?
- Yes, but we're low on fuel.

Then we'll shorten the program!
Now hurry!

And you, you damned dwarf!

I'll either sack you
or kill you right on the spot!

Off with you, and be funny!

We start in one hour!

But no lewdness!
This is a respectable town!

Go on now!

You got a good kick!

I have to leave them.

It's my honor...

We have to end this number
and get on with the show!

I'll tell my mommy!

I'll climb up here and...

That was scary!

We'll have some schnapps!

Here you go!

The actors are coming!

The actors are here!

Silence!

Ladies and gentlemen,
now for the highlight of the evening!

A fiery Spanish rider astride
an Andalusian thoroughbred!

An act you'll never forget!

Here she comes!

Feel all right
after our adventure, sweetheart?

How about another ride tonight?

Ladies and gentlemen,
the situation is clear.

These gentlemen
have insulted each other.

Let us be witnesses
to this duel.

Set your whip aside, sir.

- Alfredo!
- Coming!

No snuffboxes or knives allowed.

Begin!

That's it, Albert!

I'll get him!

I'll get him!

Where is he?

There!

I'll get him!

Ladies and gentlemen...

the show's over.

Thank you all
for coming this evening.

Dorothy...

look what I brought you.

Eat something, Dorothy.

Albert!

Open the door!

Let me in!

- Albert, are you dead?
- No!

You're not?
Aren't you going to open up?

Go to hell and leave me alone!

All right, we'll go to hell.

No, Albert! No!

- Can we strike the tent?
- Do as you like.

- It was a good take tonight.
- Split it between yourselves and shut up!

Jens!

See to Prince's left front shoe
before we go.

- We're going?
- That's right.

I had a dream this afternoon
while I slept off the booze.

I dreamt that Alma
came to me and said...

"Poor Frost,
you look tired and sad.

Wouldn't you like to rest a while?"

"Yes," I said.

"I'll make you small
as a little unborn child," she said.

"You can climb into my womb

and sleep in peace."

So I did as she said
and crept inside her womb,

and I slept there
so soundly and peacefully,

rocked to sleep
as if in a cradle.

Then I got smaller and smaller,

until at last
I was just a tiny seed,

and then I was gone.

Stop trudging along out there.
Come inside and sleep!

You see? She can't sleep
without me beside her!

Good night.

SAWDUST AND TINSEL