Sauna the Dead: A Fairy Tale (2016) - full transcript

A night in a sauna turns into a fight for survival. Two men must overcome prejudice and join forces in taking down a horde of towel-wearing zombies. Who will live to see the dawn...?

Hello. That's 329, please.


Have a nice time.

A Fairy Tale


Oops. Sorry.

I just think,

you know, when you kiss someone,

like, kissing can be so beautiful and intimate, you know?

Like, there's this magic that just happens.

(Man) I think you might be in the wrong place, mate.

Why? Are people not allowed to kiss here?

People don't like to get...

Intimate here.

(Man) You dropped this.


I think you dropped this.


It's pretty.

Is it broken?

Uh, no. I don't think so.


(Man grunts)

(Man grunts again)

(Man grunts again)

(Short gasp)

You guys have room for one more?


(Unintelligible speech)

Hey, go away!

Watch your teeth, man!

(Unintelligible speech)

(Man screams)


(Pants again)



Is someone there?

Oh, shit!


You 0K?

(Boy screams)

(Boy screams again)


(Unintelligible speech)

(Unintelligible speech again)

(Unintelligible speech again)


Shh! It's OK. It's OK. Just be quiet.

Did you see which door?

I don't know.


When they have gone,

we can get out through the lounge.

No, I just came from there. It's blocked.

What's happening to everyone?

I don't know.

I have to get out of here.



We should stick together.

We have a better chance of avoiding them by ourselves.

You're going to leave me here?

You were already in here!

Yeah, lucky for you!


I'll go first.

Then you wait, like, a couple of minutes

and whenever you think it's clear...

Wish me luck.

(Unintelligible speech)





Welcome back.

Did you meet anyone you like?

You're still here?

Well, the cubicles get so busy this time of night so, you know, I thought...

What are you doing?

How are we going to get out of here?

Oh, now suddenly it's we?


(Unintelligible speech)

My towel is... Ouch!

0K, go, go, go!

(Unintelligible speech)

That's the only way out.

What do you think?

There's too many to get through.

What if we draw them out somehow?

But then what?

There's nowhere to go.

There has to be somewhere we can hide.

What if we hid in plain sight?

What do you mean?

Until now we've been running and screaming. Of course they'd chase us!

But maybe we can blend in.

Maybe if we act like them,

they'll just think we're one of them.

We can just walk past.

Maybe they won't eat us because their vision's based on movement?

Are you out of your mind?

It's worth a try!

I'm not taking my chances with a whole roomful of those things.

Then let's test it out on just one.

(Unintelligible speech)

Oh, God.

Come on.

I don't think it's working.

Don't talk!

Just act more dead!

(Unintelligible speech)

OK, this really isn't working!

Just give it a chance.

(Unintelligible speech)

He's coming right at us.

OK, he is coming right at us.


What are you doing?

Nice thinking.

Come on.

What's so funny?

Act more dead?

I'm Aseem, by the way.

I'm Jacob.

Nice to meet you, Jacob.

So, now what?

I still think...

... our best chance is to draw them out to clear the exit.

OK, but...

That hallway leads back to the cubicles, and they're still overrun.

We don't have to go all the way round.

We can lead them through the other sauna.

What do you mean?

That sauna is off the main hallway.

So if we can get them through there,

we'll have a clear run to the exit.

We'll use the shower to draw them through.

What if they don't all clear?

As long as it's most of them.

I don't know.

Or we can just walk through acting more dead.

Hey, guys.

This way.

Over here.

Yeah, come on.

Come on. Yeah, that's it.



Come on.

This way.

Come on.

That's right. Keep coming.


This way.

Come on.

Group fun?

Come on.

(Unintelligible speech)

Come on, come on...!

We're not gonna make it.

Just a few more seconds.

(Unintelligible speech)

(Unintelligible speech again)

(Unintelligible speech again)

Oh, shit!

The other group is this way.

We're trapped.


Are you kidding me? There's too many of them!

Just trust me.

(Unintelligible speech)

They're gone.

Come on.

(Unintelligible speech)

(Aseem screams)


(Aseem screams)

It's OK.

You're gonna be OK.

Let me see.

You need to go.

I'm not gonna leave you.

By the time they get here,

I'll be one of them, anyway.

(Aseem) You dropped this.

(Man) People don't like to get intimate here.

(Man) There's this magic...

(Aseem) Nice to meet you, Jacob.

(Jacob breathes heavily)

- Oh, so sorry!
- Sorry!

I didn't mean to startle you.



Love your tattoo!


Oh... Sorry.

It's you!

It's me.

Oh. It wasn't broken.

Oh. No.

It just...

It is just wasn't on right before.

I'll leave you to it.

That was nice.

Uh... Do you want to maybe go and hang out for a while?


(Jacob) Hope we find a free room.

The cubicles get so busy this time of night.

(Aseem) I know, right?

Edition English subtitle:
BatissForever _ sep 2016