Sauerkrautkoma (2018) - full transcript

Franz Eberhofer feels comfortable as a cop in the small Bavarian village of Niederkaltenkirchen. His transfer to Munich is inconvenient for him. But soon a murder case brings him back to his tiny village.

(quiet tires squeak)

(a rooster crows)

(sweeping, sluggish music)

Servus, Franz.

Claudius, keep!

Look, there's Franz.
Give him a wave.

Hi Franz!
- Agnes, Servant.

(child) I love you!


Tell me, Franz,
do you actually want to have children?

(stuttering) Ah, how?

I, on, uh...

There's no hurry!

How, it presses ned?

You do realize
that I'll be 40 in a few years?

But you did well for that.

Whenever it
could become binding for us, you pull in your tail.


What are you doing here?
- Yes, what am I going to do there?

Susi... Let's do
something again.

Go to who or...

Yes, go to who.

Great, Franz. Really great.

(quiet beeping)

Eberhofer, wait a minute.
Where are you going?



Rule times, Franz,
have you never heard of knocking?

What are you doing in my office?

huh How so? Now that you've been transferred to Munich
, this is my office.

What, Munich?

Tell me, are you crazy now?

I can't do anything about it now.

Did this grow on your crap?
- I?

N / A! What anyway?


Didn't you read the service mail?
- Service mail?

I don't even have a computer.
- You can catch up on all that now.

You were promoted to Munich.

You want to get rid of me,
Mr. Mayor.

I don't
even have the connections for that.

The order comes from above.

They mean a full police officer

be far too much for a town like we are.

You can rub this clean.
I'm not going to Munich.

Eberhofer, let's calm down.
- No. The Eberhofer does not calm down.

The Eberhofer drives to Landshut

to the direct superior,
Mr. Moratschek.

You can save yourself the journey.

(loud sniffling)

Congratulations Eberhofer.

For a talented police officer like you
, Munich is THE opportunity.

You don't want to waste your best years
in this little town.

(hateful laughter)

Why don't you tell me
that you've been transferred to Munich?

I just found out.

I thought
we were finally moving in together.

I've got other problems.

The main thing is that you have problems.

I'll start my service in Munich soon.
That's how it looks.

Munich can kiss my ass.

Ah yes, and then? Want to cancel?

Then you have to
look for a new job.

And what do you do then?
building protection? Bus driver?


(Max) Frank! Du, Franz, Frage:

Do you have any tips for me
between colleagues?

Don't want to stand there like the idiot.

You'll always look like the dork.
It's the nature of the fool.

That's especially true
for the dorks from security.

I think that's really mean of you.

I don't even know you like that.


He'll be able to cope with that,

Let's be honest:

That much really doesn't happen
with us.

(Schlager music: "I
bought you the moon" by Christian Steiffen)

# I bought you the moon
and tomorrow I'll shoot you on it...

Servant, Vanessa. Sabine

Greet you.

# ...because you've
always lived there.

# You ask me, "How was your day?"

I think it's a mess that you're leaving for
Munich and leaving us alone.

You're not entirely innocent there.
Your own Bua!

How do you think
this sucks for me?


You really don't know
who's dancing with your Susi right now? - N / A.

Fleischmann Karl-Heinz.

do you remember?
- That's Fleischi?

Fleischi was really fat,
otherwise he wouldn't have been Fleischi.

And he had bad skin,
all those purulent whimpers.

He had zero rhythm, Fleischi.

(Flötzinger) Yes, yes, that
was Fleischmann Karl-Heinz.

Now he's the Charly Fleischman.

Charly has an IT company
in California. In Silicon Valley!

He has made a tremendous career
and commutes around the world.

Taiwan, Singapore, Island.

And yet he came to our school party
in Niederkaltenkirchen.

With an electric car.
You have to see that.

He even does something for the environment,
Charly Fleischman.

(Susi laughs loudly)

# ...always used to it.

# It's one small step
for a human,

# But a giant step
for mankind.

(cheers and applause)

There is Franz and the others.
- Clear.

75 years primary school in Niederkaltenkirchen.

I'm so happy to
be here tonight.

Franz, look who's there.
- The Eberhofer Franz. Servus!

You are looking good!
- Goodbye. You too.

(Karl-Heinz laughs and wheezes)

Are you two still together now?

Ha, sho.

yes Correctly.

By the way, I heard
they transferred you to Munich.

That's a huge career step.

nonsense shit is that.

(slow song)

Oh, Franz.
That's our dance now.

Ah well, please no slide.

Good. Then I'll dance
with Charlie again.

Oh, but, um...

You don't mind if I
dance with Susanne again, do you?

Susie is already big. She can
decide for herself.


# And I'm not home either.

# Come on, I'll buy another one.

# I don't give a fuck

# how much I babble.

Why are you looking so stupid now?

# I'll buy another one.

# For everyone.

# And then I break into the night.

# I'm breaking into the night.

(Medium music continues
in the background)

Servus, Franz. How is art doing?

What do you have with you?

How so?

handcuffs, large and small,
electric shockers,

survival knife, flashlight,

Walkie talkie, tear gas
and a pen.

Seven cans of tear gas?

Would you like to make the whole of Lower Bavaria
cry? - N / A.

But when you meet such deranged people...

Have you ever seen a car like this?
- Mmm.

Who do you think this belongs to?

This is an electric car.
- Ah.

It runs on electricity.

And parked wrong.
- What?

Look at the front wheel.
fire brigade access.

You, if something happens,
then good night.

arrow degree!

(electric guitar, feedback)

can you hear me?

(man screams) Yes!

Also... mir san die Mopeds.

We were Niederkaltenkirchen's
first punk rock band and

24 years ago we released our
first and only single:

"Feldweg to Hell".

Wow, that sounds great.

Niederkaltenkirchen! Are you ready?

One, two, three...
- Hey, Jungs. Stopp!

Attention, attention! An announcement
from the Niederkaltenkirchen security guard.

The driver of the vehicle
with registration number K-KS-1503

would like to
remove his vehicle immediately,

because otherwise it will be towed away. Thanks!

Thank you, Buam, gell!

I'm sorry to disturb you so late

but the car
blocked the whole pedestrian street.

Why are you having a car towed?

It was an emergency.
- Excuse me? Hi!

What are you doing with my car?
- He blocked the driveway.

But why? Of the...

We don't have cars towed away!

Do you even know what time it is?
- Yes but...

There are consequences, young friend.

No hair on the sack,
but jostling in the whorehouse.

I made an extra announcement.

Wasn't he careful, Fleischi?

That was your
towing idea, wasn't it?

My idea? How do you come up with something like that?

Because I know you, Franz Eberhofer.

And because that's totally typical of you.

Ah go, Susie!

Nothing, go Susi.

Come on, Charlie, I'll drive you home.

Hello everyone!
- (Max) Servus.

It's great that they picked me up.

So the beautiful evening with you lasts
a little longer.

And Franz Eberhofer?
Who's standing there like a fool now?

(Wolfi) One, two, three, four!

(fast punk rock music)

# I'm looking out my window,

# rack my brains.

# Niederkaltenkirchen funeral feast,

# nudeldicke Dirn.

# All hell is going on in Munich,
we don't give a shit.

# Wir ham koan Porsche and koa Moos,
camino infernale!

# Where the world just goes in circles

# and the wind blows from all sides

# and the mind
is on fire normally.

# Dirt road to Hell!
Niederkaltenkirchen, ass of the world,

# Maize field, Kuhkaff, compensation for pain and suffering.

# Beer, wine, Jacky, and fast!

#To Hell!

(loud crash)

(The Gacker)

(sleek music)

What's there to think about?

Of course you live with me.
We split the rent.

I have plenty of space.

You, Rudi, Munich
is already getting on my nerves.

It's just a quick shower.

be sunshine again in no time.

That's going to be great. Like in the old days.

We make Munich really unsafe.
dream team Oh!

Hey girls, need
a warm dry spot?

We still have a heater.
- Asshole!

(Rudi laughs dirty)

Trockenes PIatzerl!

The good old PI 15.
Just like in the old days, right, Franz?

N / A? Butterflies in the stomach?

Since they
turned it with the Hube, right?

"Lion's den."

That was it, wasn't it?

Grandma, where are you going?
- Go on, Franzl.

I'm sure they
're all waiting for you.

They promoted me, not you.
You wait outside, please.

Dad, if you light this,
I'll shoot you.

(Franz) Servus.

Yes, come in.

Hello, Ms. thing.

You never dreamed
that we would see each other again so soon.

Herr Eberhofer.

I can assure you it
wasn't my idea.

(loud chair movement)

But now you are here.

We all have to deal with that

Which field of activity
did you imagine?

I can do both: murder and manslaughter.

Oh I see. Oh well.
I feared that.

As usual, in lonely cowboy fashion
, haphazardly investigating,

until the case resolves itself.

But I'll say it right at the beginning
and very slowly for taking notes:

This is Munich.

There are no going it alone here.
Here we work in a team.

Teamwork is my specialty.

So, so.

On me.

I'll introduce you to the team in the morning.

Have you already moved into an apartment?
- Not yet.

I'll go
to the Bayerischer Hof first,

until I
found a representative 200 m² apartment in an old building.

(Rudi) Ms. Eberhofer.
You already know,

that the supply situation
in Munich has improved a lot since 1946?

Yes, yes, I mashed the sauerkraut
myself. Yes!

(loud traffic noise)

(Rudy groans)

to your new home, Franz.

So! Walk in.


Just come in. Yes.

Just turn it off. So.


Your kingdom, Franz.

But that is a very small kingdom.

Yes. The photo wallpaper
makes it look a little bigger.

Tell me, is that blood?

Ah yes, that's from the previous tenant.
He was depressed.

His wife left him with the children
. For an Indian.

A pure suicide.

How much does such a
suicide suite cost in Munich?

For each 450 warm.
We share brotherly.

That's 900 marks then.

But the washing machine
in the basement is free.

(brass music)

Wouldn't you rather go
home with us again, Franzl?

Mom, don't tell him anything. It's time he
got on his own two feet.

This is a non-smoking household.

Yes lick me

Franz would like to live nicer,
but cheaply. In Munich!

Have fun searching.

- Oh...

Servus, Eberhofer Franz.
I would like to report a stolen car.

(Father scolds)
That can't be true!

Holding pattern.

There you go in this
filthy filthy shitty town

and then they steal the car
from under your ass.

This is the last time you
see me here, you assholes!

So, colleagues, please listen.

This is Franz Eberhofer
from Niederdingenskirchen.

He will strengthen our team from today.

If you ever need a native

as an interpreter or tracker,

then turn
to Mr. Eberhofer in confidence.

(Maierhofer) Mhm.

Please come.
- Goodbye.

Voila, your new empire.

Warm welcome.

And no going it alone, yes?

take care of you personally.

Let's see.



Yes, you. Your filthy,
arrogant bunch of co-workers

finally found my admiral.

At Moosburg in the forest.
You can pick him up there.

Why don't you pick him up?

You smartass. How can I
pick up my car without a car, ha?


(Rudy) Goodbye.

Thank you very much. Goodbye.

Oh hello. Please.

(loud horn)

How's it going as a private investigator?

I represent a colleague.
I owe him a favor.

I'm not allowed to talk to you.
I'm on duty

When do you have a break? You can do me
a favor too. Among friends.

You say you only need me for a moment

and then you drag me there
in the middle of the forest. To Moosburg!

How are we supposed to find a car there?

The colleagues have described it exactly
. It has to be there.

Who pays for the cleaning, huh?

I should be at work by now.
I'm losing my job because of you.

But I have nothing better to do
than be your chauffeur.

Rudi, where are you going now?
- Oh sorry.

Should I have unsubscribed?
I have to.

Whoa! What have we here?


Do you get so excited every time
you see your tip?

Doesn't that interest you?
- Not at all.

But it should, my dear!

Now pack 'zamm.
We have to look for the car.

That's what I talk about all the time,
you dork.

(sleek music)

Please clean your shoes.
Dad is very picky about the car.

Franz, I'll kill you!

Rudy, it was fun.
Come on, you can drive too.

(swinging music)

Yes, for God's sake!

Oh my, oh my!
What have they done to you?

What are you doing there?
- Panida kicked him out.

We have separated spatially.
That's a big difference.

She kicked him out.
- In the interim.

It doesn't matter.
You live in Munich anyway.

So Leopold
can easily live with us.

Then there will finally be joy at the farm again!
- Have fun.

Sappralott, sit down.
You're hungry!

Just no circumstances.
What's good?


Now of all times, when Uschi starts school
, this woman starts to spin.

Say hello to Panida
from me:

Hut ab!

Have you considered getting professional help

Otherwise you'll end up
with a very expensive divorce.

I've already received the card.

Seize the moment.

(Rudi laughs softly)

Oh mei, oh mei, oh mei.

(Grandma) Enjoy it.

(Rudi laughs loudly)

(he sniffs)

Yes, do you spin?

It stinks
like three pounds of dog shit in there.

Yes, say once.

(Leopold groans in the background,
Maierhofer scolds over the phone)

Leopold, can you moan more quietly?
I do not understand anything.

I suffer!
Do you get it, you callous person? it suits you!

Your shift manager was not informed.
That's not how it works.

It just doesn't work that way.
Did you understand me?

Mrs thing?
Unfortunately I can't understand you very well.

Would... netz... not...not.

...Funkloch... on...



Has he hung up now?


Is another toe off?

There... there's a body
in my trunk.

Is he still on
a drug diet, dad?

Don't talk so stupid!
There's a body in my trunk.

And besides
, my whole car stinks of it.

(annoyed groan)

(loud buzzing of flies)

Now how does she get in there?

a dead person

Tell me, are you completely out of your
mind now?

is that a girl

First my car is stolen,
then I get it back with a corpse.

Am I the scavenger
for the mafia?

Grandma, don't look there.
- I've seen completely different things.

How can one not
smell from Moosburg that there's a corpse in the trunk?

It's wrapped in cling film.
- Will someone call the police now?

i am the police
- I mean professionals.

So what do we do with it now?

The day is already in the bucket.

(sleek music)

Go watch out!

Eberhofer and Birkenberger?
I think I'm going crazy.

Say amal. What are you doing there?

What does it look like?

One two three!

And you brought a corpse with you.
That wouldn't have been necessary.

A little present.
- Mmm.

Wo habts 'n die her?

It was in Dad's trunk.
- Did you arrest him?

Ah, rubbish.

The car was stolen. Two days later
it was back, with her in the trunk.

I don't understand.

Then we're two.
- Three.

OK. And what do you want from me now?

My god, you're the pathologist.
Just take a look.

Why don't you say so right away?

Eberhofer and Birkenberger. Legend!

(slow music)


(Rudi) Do you know them?

This is the Branka.

She works as an au pair in the neighboring town.

At the mayor's.

(Rudi) Maybe it was an honor killing.

These Balkan peoples tend to do so.

Today we have ravioli.


Tomorrow morning you'll go straight to the mayor
and squeeze him.

We need every scrap of information.

(he sniffs)

Rudi, you stink
like a drugstore.

This is "Provençal Spring",

(sluggish brass band music)

Yes, Eberhofer!
What are you doing here?

You are in Minga.

Mr. Mayor, I'm on business.
Because of the Branka.

How do you know it's gone?
Did you find her?

Yes. In a trunk.

What, in a trunk?

Are you drunk
or did you drink something?

Any mushroom or what?

She was dead before that though.

For God's sake.

Die Branka.

(Mayor) She wanted
to be an interpreter. Such a hardworking girl.


Mei, the Branka.
It was a real piece of gold.

Why is someone killing
our au pair?

Where's it?

She did
so well with the children.

Can I have a
look at Branka's room? - Of course.

(high screeching)

Amelie woke up.

Go, Frau Scheller, please have a
look at Amelie.

Right away, little spatula, right away!

I have to go to my wife.
She took it all pretty bad.

Do you always smoke
in other people's houses without being asked?

Did you notice

where the Branka was going
the day she disappeared?

I didn't even realize
she was gone.

(Amelie cries hysterically)

Does that take longer?


Simmerl, hello,
at the moment it doesn't suit me at all.

Franz, guess who Susi
is sitting in the ice cream parlor with.

(Flötzinger) With Karl-Heinz!
He wanted to leave a long time ago

but now he sits there
and licks ice cream with Susi.

(Simmerl) So Fleischi.
With your Susi.

Und oh!

Now she's letting him taste it.
In front of everyone!

I think it's Amarena cherry.

Now listen.
I don't have time for nonsense like this.

dr Flötzinger diagnosed:
clear case of Stangl fever.

You have to propose to her.
And dalli!

Susi can eat ice cream with whomever she likes.

And if and when Franz gets married,

still decides that himself. Bye bye!

(both) Depp!

(Wolf) Mm!

(exciting music)


You're Damian, aren't you?

was the last time you saw Branka?

(clearly) But
you speak German, don't you?

my father says

You are the pompous asshole
in all of Niederkaltenkirchen.

If he says so, it must be true.

Is the Branka dead?


Do you have any idea
where she went on Monday?


Ah you, uh...

this is absolutely...

Crying is really okay when you're 13.

I'm already 14!

Hm. Well, you're just sad
about Branka.


I'm sad because I have
to go to shitty boarding school now.


Because no one does
homework with me anymore.

Eberhofer! Now wait a minute.
Wait a minute!

take a look,

that this unpleasant story
will not be hung on the big bell.

Ah me?

I would be very grateful to you.
- Hmm.

(Maierhofer) Unbelievable!

Eberhofer, have you gone mad?

Why are you creating
a suspected murder victim

to pathology without
informing forensics?

I wanted Günter to look at it.

The body is
beyond our jurisdiction.

Now it is.
- Location is Niederkantenkirchen,

i.e. Landshut.

But in the trunk she was before that.
So Munich.

Eberhofer, you're the most blasé
asshole I've ever come across.

For real?

You know what?

You really wanted a case.

There you go, now you have it.

But this time, you're investigating as a team.
- Of course.

And by team, I don't mean
you and that Birkenberger.

In the meantime, Spusi has looked at
the car.

What does your father do for a living?
- Farmer.

mmm And what is he growing? drugs?

Plenty of traces
of it were found in the car.

Drugs? Really?
- Hmm. Marijuana.

eco quality.

You don't seriously think
my father had anything to do with this?

Alright, let's go.

Herr Ibranovic?

We would like to ask you
a few questions about your daughter.

(with an accent) Branka is...

my brother's daughter.

Oh I see.

Then where is your brother?

And Serbia. Royally.

And the mother?


What else did Branka
do, apart from being an au pair?

Branka was a hardworking girl.
Learned a lot of German.

(crying) She wanted to be an interpreter.

I have a few more questions.

Now being sensitive
and leave the good man alone.

Günter, do you already have a cause of death?

What does one mean? Even two.
First strangled, then beaten.

(loud sobs)


And that was sensitive now, yes?



Franzl, I don't know
what to do.

Since you've been in Munich,
Ludwig hasn't eaten.

Really? So what's going on?

If he's hungry, he'll eat.

Tell me,

when will you bring
my admiral back to me?

Ah yes, exactly, we still have to talk about that.

Forensics found drug contamination in your car .

You appear to be at the center
of a murder drug investigation.

reign times! Now it's
really getting higher at the back than at the front.

They steal my car
and I'm the criminal?

Say amal!
Something is fundamentally wrong in your shit club .

To treat an innocent citizen like me
like that.

Are we living in a banana factory
or what? - What?

You know what I mean!

banana republic.
Heaven Reign Times.

By the way, the dead woman was
the mayor's au pair.

I say it:
Sodom and Gomorrah with us, do you understand?

And whistle at me.

Panida is just so incredibly immature.

Now she
's gotten really stubborn. - Really?

It all
started with the damisch German course.

She met such stupid women there.

(mimicking) Since then, only
what she likes has been doing.

What I like
doesn't interest her anymore.

You treat her like a 12 year old.

Franz, that's none of your business!

You take care of your relationship.

Panida comes back
to me again. Guaranteed.

You know, when someone
has as little control over their private life as you do,

he should consider whether he rants
about others. got me


I don't know
what I did wrong with you three.

Nobody has a wife.

Yes. It's true, isn't it?

(bell chimes in the background)

The butcher Karl

he is said to have been
crazy about Susi at school.

Fleischi is a complete dork.

Back then maybe.

Today he looks smart
and he should also have money.

He can't even be such a murderous idiot


Schau, Franzl.

If you really care
that much about your Susi,

then you should do
nails with heads.

Grandma, I don't want to get married.

Look at Flötzinger,
Simmerl, Leopold.

All are married, none happy.

If you don't do something soon, Franzl,
then she'll be gone, your Susi.

And forever.

What will become of you
when I'm no longer here?

But Grandma, you're really healthy.

(tires squeak)

(Karl-Heinz) Das.
(Susie) Mhm.


And that. And that. Then it works.

Servus, Franz.

Angie, howdy.
(Karl-Heinz) And please.

(Women) Wow!
(Karl-Heinz laughs)

Am I interrupting?

Servus, Franz.
- Ha?

Uh, why aren't you in Munich now?

(Susi) Crazy! Now it's working again.

The whole computer system

But Charly showed me
how to make it work.


Uh, you, Jessy, Karl-Heinz, Sandra, Janina,
can you leave the room?

Are you crazy?

I have to discuss something private
with Susi.

It's an office, you clown.
Discuss private matters at home.

We wanted to do a coffee break in half an hour anyway ,

it fits better.

Ein Coffee-Break.

Mr. Eberhofer, mei, you again.

I'm actually gone again.
I just wanted to see if...


Service successfully started.
- Also dann.

All services online.
- Ah yes. Something else.

(subdued music)

Wolf, uh,

shouldn't we two
slowly, um, get married?

(Susi stops typing)

Uh, so not, right?

(she clicks)

May, Franz!

(quick tap)

I can not believe it.

Eberhofer, what were you

A marriage proposal
is not a car registration.

Hey, you get yourself
a nice big bouquet of things, so...

roses and gets on his knees.
And champagne of course!

But you don't propose marriage
to the municipal administration.

Especially not
when all of them are present.

Mei, Eberhofer, it's hopeless.

Absolute shipwreck, I tell you.

You hold your gosh now,
you deputy.

Franz, you're parking in violation of traffic.

Here is your fine notice.

Put that out again.

Uh... And what to do with it?

You can guess three times.

(loud swallowing)

Uh, yes, Franz.
I have to go back anyway, don't I?

The two confessed that they
stole the admiral from outside the house.

We were able to convict them using
surveillance video.

They state that they parked the admiral in the forest at the said

The colleagues grilled her,
but they have an alibi for the time of the crime.

Next is...

How stupid do you have to be, huh?

You don't leave a car unlocked in Munich
, man.


Tell me, you windy little boy.
What were you thinking?

That was my dad's car!
- I want a lawyer.

Eberhofer, that's enough.
We don't abuse suspects.

Mistreating is saying too much.
- We're not in North Korea.

I'm having a really shitty day.

Then sort out your private problems
at home.

yes, good

Then I'll just leave, if it's okay.

(quiet brass band music)

What did I say:
The prettiest roses are in hardware stores.

Tell me Franz, is
what you hear true?

A marriage proposal
in front of the entire municipal administration...


Word got around quickly.

Say, you're
such an unromantic brute, huh?

where did you get that from
- Franz is highly gifted.

A real Casanova.

Did she turn you down, your Susi?

I'm so happy that you
finally proposed to her.

You took your time, my dear.
- Yes.

I've been waiting for
a great-grandchild of yours for so long.

And? Are you going to propose now
, your Susi?

The roses are for Rudi.
So that we can have it more romantic.

You doch mal her.

you got the champagne from the hardware store too?

No, sparkling wine was out.

May, the Bua.

(he sighs)

I think I still have
a Krimsekt somewhere in the basement.

As a marriage
swindler, you'd be a total failure.



Tell me, why don't you ring the bell
like a normal person?

Gmeinwieser Susi,

do you want to marry me

(soft music)

(Susi moans softly)

Haven't you forgotten something?


Anything else you forgot?

Well actually now...

The engagement ring.

An engagement ring...

Do you do that with us?

With me it is.

That too.

But... if we're getting married soon anyway, huh?

A ring like that doesn't pay off at all.

am i not worth it to you?
- Yes, of course. Logical.

shall we go in?

I think we'd better wait
for the wedding night.

But... well...
until we can get married it's still forever...

That can still take a while.

You can look forward to it all the longer.

Waiting until the wedding night
is nonsense.

Good night!

(door closes)

Susi, tell me, are you crazy now?

(distant car noise and barking)

(Schlager music)
# You are not alone today...

I have to drive now.
So my wife...

Well, well, that's okay.
company pays.

Did I promise you too much?

20 euros entry: eat free,
drink as much as you want.

Pure madness, right?
- Why is this so cheap today?

Servus, the darkroom would be free again.

Today is men's day. Goodbye.

Hello, Joseph.

Hello, Beppi.

Yes hello? 20 Euros!

always turned a blind eye to the Eberhofer

but he has to stand on his own two feet now .

He's almost like a son.

But sometimes he needs a kick in the ass.

Yes, Herr Moratschek,
but Franz belongs here.

I can not do anything.

This is the structural reform. They shut down
small police stations.

Too little happens.


That is,
if we had more crime,

then we would have to bring
Franz back again?

(dirty laughter)

(both) And one, and two...

and three,

and four,

and five...
- Anarchy!

...and six

(slower) and seven...

and eight,

and nine.

(sluggish) 274,



278, uh, 277...
- 277...

(both) Summer!

I think I really have to hoam now.

(both slow) 1.204.



(babbles) Kiss my ass, you.

(loud cracking)


I think I really have to hoam now.

Good morning

The early bird catches the worm.

Do you like your oatmeal
with sugar or with cocoa?

Preferably not at all.

Where is Uncle Franz?

And the surprise?



(all speak Thai)




I flew them all in.

For you Panida. For us.

And for little Usch,
so she can see her family.

Are you crazy? I'm at odds with my
family. you know that

I will make you up again.

Watcharapong has already told me
how beautiful he thinks Bavaria is.

Mom, please do something before
Leopold drives us completely crazy.

Holy Spirit,

what is there to cook now?

Is was?

That tastes like tin.

This is the high iron content
in the tomato sauce.

But is that for humans?

Yes. And this person eats it every day.

Because he has a job
and has to make ends meet.

And because it is not cooked every day.

Eating together connects.

This is the cradle of culture.

Cooked with love
is food for the soul.


Today we cook ourselves.
- Are you crazy?

A recipe from grandma.
- Are you crazy?

What should go wrong?
- I have two cans of Fire Magic Texas.


A cup of water, Grandma said.

Have you ever cooked anything
in your life other than tea?


Yes, the neighbor has a dog.
But he doesn't eat everything either.

You, watch out, right?

Speaking of neighbors.
He's from Georgia, right?

He can read this note.
- What note?

That's Russian.


Who is that?

Rudi! - Why don't you show me
such important clues?

Did you rummage through my jacket?
- Browsed!

I hung them up.

And accidentally checked
what Franz has in his pockets.

We are not married.

I would
n't have to hang up my wife's jacket either.

That would be neat.
Otherwise I would not have married her.

Besides, she wouldn't have any secrets
from me like Herr Eberhofer.

(rhythmic music and splashing)

see That's how it's done in Bavaria.

This is called sauerkraut. Do you know that?

Typical German.

nonsense Bavarian.

And then the pros do it like this...
(imitates Native American singing)

Don't worry. He washed his feet before.

Only you believe that too.

Almost as good as grandma's, eh?


Did you figure out
what's on the note?

Ah, I...

I almost forgot.

Gynecologist in Munich. Also Serbs.


Who is the guy in the photo?


Branka's uncle.


But it's not completely kosher
, is it?

I'll see
what I can find out about him.

Rudi. Be careful with the herb, right?

(Rudy laughs)

Ah, just a little something for Obischwoam.

So that you do
n't die of thirst here, right?

Khwam ramadrawang.

Germany beer are very streng.


And too much Sauerkraut
are heavy for digestion.

Ladder. Ladder.
- Ladder?


(stretched) Thang.

Tell me how it is.
You get shit, get it?

What then?

(Father) So...

Too much Kraut...


you go outside
and then quickly, quickly...

and then...

My God.

(he makes farting noises)

Have you eaten all of that now?

Sjenica Grill,
that's the name of my uncle's snack bar.

"Eat once, don't forget."

I found it on the internet.

Ah, I know.

Now I'm full.

(belly grumbling)

Rudy, is everything okay?

(loud grumbling)
Of course!

(it keeps grumbling)


(farts and moans)

(groans and moans)

Say, Rudy. Do you only have two CDs?

Yes and?

A normal person doesn't need more.
Is statistically proven.

(grumbling and creaking)


Rudi, is everything ok?

(moans and loud fart)

(piteously) I think I'm going to die.
- It will be allright.

I'm so miserable.

No one has ever died from sauerkraut.

call a pastor.

(Door bell)


Goodbye. Rudi, look
who I brought you.

Mr. Birkenberger, huh?
Where does the planer itch?

(whining in panic) No! No!

Not the pathologist.
- He caught too much sauerkraut.


Let's take a look, shall we?
Come here.

- Ah!

Naja. Mhm.

That hurts?

Of the?

This is a classic sauerkraut coma.


We have to go in through the peritoneum.
- Please!

We need to neutralize
this before it ferments and explodes.


you're kidding me No!

Rudi! That's a shame. Forget it.

Make him fennel tea and a hot water bottle.

Sing to him and he'll sleep well.


Very much.


You, ah, cheers... because of the...

Branka lbranovic, gell?
- Mhm.

The girl was pregnant.
- Great, Gunter!

Great. Did you hear that?

almost thought so because...

Look, I
found the note in Branka's room.

A Serbian gynecologist in Munich.

(he sniffs) Tell me,

did you fry something there? Ha?

It really smells like frying oil.

You said
Branka's uncle had a takeaway.

smell it

A little rancid.
- I have to spit.


Then you're going to take on dear uncle
, aren't you?

That's how it looks.

(Franz) Rudi, you're holding back.

What shoud that? I'm not a moron.
I'm not doing this for the first time.

Hello, Mr. lbranovic.

We already know each other. I'd like to talk
to you privately.

Rudi, that's how you say it.

Is this yours?

Did you give Branka the 800 euros
we found in her room?

What do you want?

Did you know
that Branka is pregnant?

Well, that's how it is.

And it would be interesting to
know who the father was. - Rudy!

What was the 800 euros for?

Leave Branka alone. She is dead.

Better find whoever
killed her.

And what is that?

I took Branka
to Oktoberfest.

She liked that.

I don't understand what you want.

I understand many things.
Anyone can do whatever they want.

But there are limits.

And if the bad uncle
does something to the niece,

what the good uncle doesn't...
- Rudi!

played with Branka since she was a baby.

You can imagine the games.
You got her pregnant.

And we'll find out the rest.

Does it have to be now?
- What now?

(he scolds in Serbian)

(Rudi) Hey, you're raising a gun...

(loud moan)

Say mal, do you spin?

Are you feeling better now?

(loud moan)


I just wanted to help.

I gave Branka the address
and the money.

That alone is punishable.

Branka war...

good girls.

She hasn't dated men.
- Yes.

But it won't have been immaculate conception

So, Franz. And who do I write
the bill for the police operation to?

I'll buy you a beer.
- Wait a moment.

Isn't that official then?

How do we officially get a DNA sample
from the mayor? Think about it.

This is illegal.

Oh well. - The worst thing is,
I get stuck with the bill.

Floetzinger. There we have it.

You answer the phone
or I'll tell Grandma you were mean.

(the phone keeps ringing)


(it keeps ringing)

Heating-ventilation-plumbing Flötzinger.
Ignatz Flötzinger on the phone.

Here sheller.

We're out of gas
and I have to start cooking.

Can you come by?
- Wait. I'm just checking.



I can send a mechanic over,
but it will take five minutes.



What? Oh I see. Where are they?

Römerschanze 14 in Waldfried.
- Yeah, well, um...

Fits. I'll send a fitter over.
- Thanks very much.

(Door bell)

Good day. Floetzinger company. emergency service.
Having trouble with the gas?

But that happened very quickly.

Yes, that's how we are.
If someone is in need, we will come immediately.

where is the basement
- Here please.

(exciting music)

It's a water pipe that
you're tapping on right now.

Yes, yes, I know that too.

But gas is a fleeting fellow,
it finds its way.

There is probably too much pressure on the pipes
and the safety valve has closed.

I still need to check out
the upstairs bathrooms.

small deflagration could occur.

Safe for professionals.

For security reasons
, you'd better wait below.






(whispers) The cat has landed.

What cat?

That's the code. i have the sample

Tell me straightaway.


The cat has landed.


- Toll!

Would you like a coffee too?

I was just about to brew one.
- That's nice.

Would you like some chamomile tea too?

I have such problems with my digestion.

I'll take a look.


This is blood. one hundred percent.

We'll take that to Günter in
pathology, and the trap snaps shut.

Rudi, uh... something completely different.

Where you work,
that is, in the jewelry store,

do they have rings?

What else? fan heater?

Of course the rings have.
what do you need one for

But you are not serious.

(quietly) Yes.

Really now, right?
- Mmm.

you got engaged With Susi.
- Who else with?

(Flötzinger) Marry.

You dare.
Don't say I didn't warn you.

Engagement is like test driving.
You can still change your mind.

Therefore, examine whoever binds forever.

At the cheap market I
still have discount vouchers from grandma.

You might buy underpants there

or a turtleneck sweater
or an iron.

But definitely not an engagement ring.

Princess Diana got this ring
from Prince Charles for her engagement.

Now Duchess Kate is wearing it.

Yes, adorable, wonderful.

- Yes, yes, somehow.

- Look at this stone, the fire.

Susi will love him. Who wouldn't
want to get a ring like this from you?

I don't even know
if that's Susi's taste.


How much would the ring
cost with an employee discount?

Unfortunately, we cannot grant discounts to employees of subcontractors .

Maybe Susi likes
something simpler.

You might find
something in your price range elsewhere.

Yes, maybe at the Cheaper Market.

My price range?

What does this mean?

We also have nice pens there.

i take the ring


Good decision. The Ring, First Class!

I think I'm getting sick.
- Get some fresh air.

Do you know how long we
've been waiting for you, Eberhofer?

Rudi, that's
almost a year's salary.

Yes and?

Eberhofer, you hardly pay any rent,
no vacation, no car.

You don't even buy new clothes.
What do you want with the savings?

Do you want
to have it thrown into your grave?

What's wrong with jeans and a leather jacket?

It's YOUR wedding. It's YOUR Susi.

It's YOUR ring, goodness gracious!

(all in awe) Wow!


You have finally
catapulted yourself to hero status.

(Jessy) Diana got it from Charles
as an engagement.

I would like that myself.

Is that nice!


Susanne, I only ask one thing of you.

Stop for a moment

and check whether Franz really

and really and wholeheartedly

is the right man for you.

If you can answer that with a clear "yes" ,

I do n't want to stand in the way of your happiness .

your whole life is ahead of you.


don't spend it with the wrong person.

(soft string music)

Guys I haven't paid yet.
- Yes, it's on the house.

This is my Susanne 's engagement party .

Even. And we all want Susi
to be engaged afterwards.

Marriage sucks.

But you don't have to tell Susi that today.

(thunder rolls)

Stupid peasants.

(Happy music)

(loud bubbling)

Bet I can do ten?


Well, bet.

Ten rounds?
(chuckling) Yes!

Never ever, Oider.

(car starts)

Really now?

(Tires squeal and loud roar)

(Bully, loud giggles
and fast polka music)


(music stops, clinking)

(silent scene)

(slow, spherical music)


(Damp) Zefix again.
That shouldn't be the case. Crap!

(Buengo) Where did he come from now?

(tamper) My car!
Shit, shit, shit!

are you insane
They shit in your brain!

Yes, cross crucifix!

That was totally crazy idea of ​​yours.

(Karl-Heinz) You village idiot!

Crap! Buckle up!

Does not work. Does not work.

(Karl-Heinz) All because of that
damn Eberhofer.

Hey, what were you doing there?

The idiots there are like the idiots
backwards through the roundabout.

Get that shit out!

(panic) Where's the shit?

Where's the shit?

Can you take the window down?




The guy says you guys went backwards
through the roundabout.

Woohoo, uh...

As a cop, you have to listen to
the dumbest excuses.

The guy is totally drunk.

Sorry guys
he got you two.

P-It's okay.

(Max laughs)
(Buengo) It's okay.

(Max) So, and now to you, friend.

Would you
agree to a voluntary alcohol test?



Rudy, what's up?

I've been looking for you everywhere
You weren't home last night.

You, Rudi, we are not married.

I always sleep badly

when I have to think,
is Franz coming home or not?

Schmeckt' s'?

(speak Thai)

They are really nice,
the sisters of Panida,

but I can't eat that.

I have problems with my stomach, I...

Rudi, what is it all about?

I have news from Günter.
The Dalibor is not the father.

But here it comes.

The mayor.

I always said so.
- And another thing.

The mortar is not the murder weapon,
that was jam,

but in the mortar were remains
of an abortifacient.

And what does that mean?

Branka wanted to keep the child safe.
- Yes.

But the producer didn't, and
he wanted the remedy to solve the problem.

But it didn't work.
- Yes.

That's why she had to die.
Bah, that's so spicy.

(Sisters speak Thai)

And. And and.


- Aloi?

Yes, Aloi. Aloi.

Another bit of chili?

(Franz) You keep your edge
and listen to me.

We've got all the possible
men in Branka's circle

get a DNA test done.
Do you know what came of it?

No, I don't know, Mr. Eberhofer.
I'm not clairvoyant.

That you
are the father of Branka's child.

There he is, the mayor.

We couldn't keep our
hands off the au pair.

Was the alpha male
's own wife not enough.

What is he talking about in between?

When would you have had me take a test
? - Do not distract.

That might work here
in Hinterarsching, but not with us.

Then your DNA test is 100% wrong,

but probably
were overwhelmed again

and messed around with the
cotton swabs.

Why are you so sure?

Because I can no longer father a child.

I even have that in writing. Unfortunately.

A stupid accident
while curling three years ago.

That must have hurt.
- You don't want to know exactly.

Did the stork bring your little daughter

Ever heard
of privacy?

Or do you not care?
- Murder is never private. - Mmm.

All right, please. So that there is peace.

The child is the result
of an anonymous sperm donation.

A normal process these days.

My wife really wanted
a second child.

Now get your ass out
and take your speaker with you.

I only want to see you here
if you renew the ID.

I hope you can get this
in your soft-boiled skull.

I knew why I had you
outsourced to Minga!

Get the devil!

Günter said 98% sure.
- But that's not 100%.

If we find out who the
producer is, we'll have the killer.

Who could have a similar genetic
fingerprint as the mayor?

Does he have a brother?
- I don't know.

- Father, yes.

He must have some male relative


Just come with me. Come along.
- Franz? What shoud that?

What do you do? Just because I'm
complaining about an offence.



This is deprivation of liberty.
- French

We just had
an important conversation, right?


Max, you're a real man.


Since when are you?

Always stop.

Since when you've been shooting, he says.

I don't even have a gun license yet.
- Douchebag.

How long have you had real sex?

What do you mean by "right"?

Not with yourself.

(Door bell)

The mayor actually
forbade me to let you in.

Yes actually.

At first I thought
the father made Branka pregnant.

But that wasn't it.

Now only you remain.

Did you kill Branka?

Was it an accident?

You jerk. You really don't understand anything.

we loved each other

But if it wasn't you

who then mixed the abortifacients into Branka's

your parents maybe?

Were they mad? Did you argue?
- What means?

Branka's child had to go.

May I go to the toilet for a moment?

Of course.

(The mobile phone bell)


Damian supposedly
went to pee.

Be careful that he doesn't go into donations.


Be good, Ludwig.



Let it be.
Frau Scheller won't hurt you.

Branka killed her.

You hated her from the start

because we liked them all.

You were always spying on me.

That's absurd, Damie.

For you she was always just "the Serbian".

You are all confused.
Why should I do that?

Get him to see reason.
He doesn't know what he's doing.

Maybe you actually killed the Branka .

Don't you want to de-escalate the situation?

Kneel down!


You are my bua. My little boo.

You nasty bastard, kneel down.

Come on!
- How can you do this to me?

Rudi, let it be.
- What is that?

I would have had him in three seconds
. bang!

Do something!

Mrs Sheller. Did you put the abortifacient in Branka
's food?

And how it didn't work,
her skull smashed in?

You call that de-escalating?

Is that correct?
- Franz, are you crazy?

The Bua shoots them over the pile.


Damian, Branka set you up.

She set it up
to get pregnant by you.

You lie.

You still don't know
what women can be like.

we loved each other
We wanted our child.

You can't raise a child.

Be sensible now.
You are still one yourself.

I just told Branka to keep
her hands off you.

Then she shouted at me
and hit me.

She's attacking me like a fury.
I had to defend myself.

you killed her


For you, Damie.

To you.

I really didn't want to hurt her.

That's great,
then it cleared up.

I have a question of a private nature.

Why did you
hide the body in dad's admiral of all places?

Does that really matter now?

I had to get rid of the body.

I drove around.

I thought I could do them in the woods...

Then I saw the car
there and... (she cries)

You can ask again.

Now you give me the gun.

nope I'll finish it now.

How are you going to do that without a magazine?

What, without a magazine?

That's where the bullets are in.
And you forgot that.


Why don't you tell me that?
I almost got a heart pounding.

There is another way to resolve a situation like this.

I thought we were a team. But no!

The Eberhofer on his ego trip.
It suits me up to there.

It worked.

Yes'. It worked fine.
- Well, Ms. Scheuer.

Let's pack it.
- I am so sorry.

And today's youth,
always playing shooting games, right?

But no idea
where the cartridges come from.

(shot, Ms. Scheuer screams)

He has!

(loud screams of pain)

I'm shot!

Whoa! Was there another cartridge in the slide?


Susi, say hello.

What? Really?

You, Susimaus,
it's difficult for me right now.

I'll call you back, yes?
Until then. Pfiat di, kisses.

(Rudi whimpers)

Now you'll get well soon.

I need my best man.
- Yes.

Franz, you can rely on me. Im... Ouch!

In contrast to you. ow!


(Rudi) Franz?

Eberhofer, how is my boy?

Mr. Mayor, I was
just able to prevent the worst.

entrusted my children to a murderess. Oh God.

Don't even think about it.

Thank you Eberhofer, thank you.

I'm Bernd.

I am the Eberhofer.

Um, Mister Mayor...

If I keep
your boy's affair under wraps

will you make
me get my old job back?

How do you imagine that?

Very beautiful. Finally back home.

Life is not a wish concert.
Anyone could come along there.

Do I look like a fairy godmother
and everyone has three wishes?

Zefix cross sack cement!


(both) Ah!
(grandmother) Franzl!


(Rudy) Bravo! That has style. Insanity!
(grandma) Yes!

Like Udo Jürgens.
- Yes!

(Rudi) What makes clothes special!

I said so.
If anyone can wear it, it's him.

When it comes to the federal government, you can
let out a little more.


You, Susi, it's bad right now.

Very short. Do you
want me to look like a holy whore?

That actually doesn't sound bad.
What would be the alternative?

Die Alternative...

Well, it's more like that...

How should I say?

Maybe a little bit
romantic. A very small bit.

And what about the holy whore?


Yes, you, romantic is great.

Just wear something cool underneath.

I have to then. Bye bye, Susi.


The dress is absolutely gorgeous.

So cute. And the loop!

(girlfriend) So much ruffles is so beautiful.
- It's special.

(soft music)

(Country music)

Franz, it's so great
that you're back.

The big hammer.
Today we let it rip.


- Good.

(loud techno music and screams)

(Country music)


(loud crash)

(music stops)

(sobs and sniffles)

(soft music)

(church bells)

(organ music)

But you could have had your hair cut to celebrate
the day.

I have, mom. Look here.
- Ah yes.

Very short.

(Flötzinger) Ignaz Fynn!

Where is Franz?

Mei, the collar is cleverly dirty.
- Nobody sees. is inside.

They will probably have forgotten the rings
or the bridal bouquet again.

(Panida) It hasn't started yet.
- (Leopold) You're right.

I apologize for the rush.

Even if we're late
because you took your time in the bathroom.

But now.

I'm starting to worry about
where the boy is.

(soft music)



How do you come from now?

are you gonna dump me
- Yes, and you? why are you there

Yes, and you?

With a duffel bag.

That's typical again, Franz.

As soon as things get serious,
you back down.

You don't sit in church either.

Thank God. How embarrassing for a woman
when her fiancé changes his mind.

But I haven't changed my mind.

Susi, you are amazing.

You are the most amazing woman
in the whole world.


But what?

(soft music)

I really tried.

But I can't do that.

I'm the wrong guy to get married.

Susi, there's
no way I want to lose you.

What I want is...

that my twoa
stay together forever and ever.

Just look at me.

What would become of me without you, hm?

And now?

(baby sounds)

And? Are you
particularly attracted to one?

Fathers always recognize their babies intuitively.

I woaß ned.

Somehow not.

Maybe it's from Fleischi after all.

At! Oma!

How can you be such an idiot,
such a stupid one?

Franz! You go in to Susi now
and look at your boy.

He looks just like you used to
when you were little

and practically
cut off your ass.

Now let's go. What are you waiting for?

(sweeping, sluggish music)

Servant, Susi.

N / A? what do you say

There you look, ha?

Now just take him.

give me the flowers

Be careful with your head.

(the baby coos)

are you crying

Well, that's an allergy thing.

I already know what his name is.
- Ah.


He has!

Tell me, do you have it...

You're not serious, are you?
Bua's name isn't Leopold!

Of course not. I just wanted
to have fun too.

Tell me, Franz.

What would you say
if we called him Paul?


Like grandpa.

Paul is beautiful.

Servant, Paul

(Music: Say Yes, My Love
by Lovely & Monty)

# Sag doch Ja, my love, oh bitte.

# Sag doch Ja, my love.

# I love you, my love, oh please.

# Sag doch Ja, my love.

# Rambazamba,
Rambazamba, Rambazamba.

# Oh, Rambazamba!

# Do you love meat loaf and pork?

# Let me be your bun.

# Would you like mustard with it too?

# Whoa, whoa, whoa!

# Would you like mustard with it too?

# Sweet or spicy?

# Sag doch Ja, my love, oh bitte.

# Sag doch Ja, my love.

# Rambazamba,
Rambazamba, Rambazamba...

# Do you drink like a man from the Upper Palatinate,

# then I'm your Alka-Seltzer.

# I'm high on you.

# Whoa, whoa, whoa!

# I'm high on you.

# Please don't be a sheep.

# Sag doch Ja, my love, oh bitte.

# Sag doch Ja, my love.

# Rambazamba,
Rambazamba, Rambazamba...

# Oh, Rambazamba!

(Music: "I bought you the moon"
by Christian Steiffen)

# It was meant for one night

# and I was happy to take part.

# Only she never left.

# And now I'm standing here and singing.

# I bought you the moon

# and tomorrow I'll shoot you at it.

# Or maybe even
beyond the moon,

# because that's where you've always lived.

# You ask me, "How was your day?"

# and why I don't ask you anything.

# Still don't get it

# I don't care
if you say a word.

# Because what you say, only you hear.

# And I close my eyes.

# And I dream that you are not there,
and this dream is wonderful,

# because I know dreams come true.

# I bought you the moon...

# That's one small step
for a human,

# But a giant step
for mankind.

Subtext Berlin, 2018