Sassy Pants (2012) - full transcript

Lacy, watch out!

Excuse me your highnesses,
but you're going to be late,

And this restaurant
recipe begs to order.

Well, I think it would be a
crime if you didn't participate.

I thought we could even
get you a new dress,

Michael Paul's.

Fine!

But I'm not making a speech.

Oh no, I think that's
a big mistake.

I think you should do it.

Look who's up?



Thank you for joining
us this morning.

Why can't we have pancakes?

How many chapters of
Latin did you do?

Hmm!

I'm sorry, I didn't
catch that.

I didn't do any, okay!

Are you
felicitous now?

Shayne, I know you're playing
with that stupid video station,

What did I say about that?

I wasn't, I swear.

Then what did you just
stuff under your bed?

Nothing.

Don't you lie to
me Mister,

You have a Life Skills
exam tomorrow.



How do you plan to pass
if you're too busy stealing cars

And shooting black people?

I was studying what
not to do, okay?

Oh, very funny, young man!

All right, next time I hear it,
I am taking it away.

What do you think of
this little number?

That is darling.

Oh, look at that!

Oh Bethany, you
have to see the...

Oh, well, that dress is one of
our more sophisticated items,

And I know sophistication
when I see it.

Well, I...

I think it looks like
something your dad might wear.

I think this one suits you;
pink is her favorite color.

Everything she has is pink.

- Michael Paul!
- Yes.

How much for the earrings,

She is the valedictorian
after all?

$14.

All righty!

Hmm!

Well, you know what,

I think you can just
borrow something of mine,

Can't you sweetheart?

What?

Just cause I'm a mom doesn't
mean I don't have snazzy things.

In a game of truth or dare,
you pick dare,

Always totally unlike me.

Dude, hurry man I'm
running out of gas.

What makes us so
unique is that we are...

How are you going
to wear your hair?

I don't know.

Well, sweetie, it's tomorrow.

Lacy needs to go out.

I can't do everything
now, can I?

I wish I could,
but I can't.

Ooh, how about a French braid,

I bet that would look
so pretty on you?

Lacy!

Stop playing with
that gangbang machine,

Your sister's almost ready.

And now your grandmother is here
and the ceremony starts at noon.

Why should I give a crap?

What did you just say?

Don't you dare talk
to me that way,

Just because your
father gave you

That jerk off
contraption

Doesn't mean that I can't
take it away, and I will...

For the Love of God, Mother.

Sweetie,

Let me know if you need
any help with your makeup?

No! Move the tassel to the side.

Oh, oh, look at you.

I never thought
I'd see the day.

Will you move over June,

I can't see my knockout
of a granddaughter?

Did you take the
lens cap off mother?

Don't be stupid.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you the Pruitt
home-school class of 2011.

Will you give me a shot of
the valedictorian

Getting her diploma?

I couldn't make one,
the printer ran out of ink.

For God's sake, June!

Sweetheart, look what just
came in the mail for you.

Congratulations on
choosing Phelps University

For your online
bachelors' degree.

No!

No!

Excuse me little
Ms. Sassy Pants,

I was under the impression
you wanted to go to college.

I do.

I just thought I could go
to Valley or something.

Community college only
offers associates degrees;

Online is for four years.

Well, I guess I didn't realize

You'd saved up thousands of
dollars for your education.

I guess when you're ready to
pay, you can make your own plan.

I can't believe my little
girl is going off to college.

Kevin, winners train,
losers complain.

Financing, this is Dale!

Hey dad, it's Bethany.

Hi! Hi Princess!

This isn't really the
best time right now.

Mom's making me go
to college at home.

Listen, I can't
really hear you.

You know what, I
will call you back.

Okay?
I love you.

Bye, bye, you're
my princess, bye!

K! Bye!

Well done!

Sweetheart, who was
that on the phone?

Child abuse hotline.

Fucking bitch!

Shayne?

What?

I bet dad would never
make us paint his house.

He probably has a bunch
of illegal aliens do all his

Stuff for him.

Hey!

What are you guys doing?

Nothing!

That's cool!

You going to
Valley next year?

Actually I think I'm going to
take some online classes first.

That's cool!

- Are you going to Valley?
- Me?

No, me and my cousin just
signed up for the Marines.

Wow!

Yeah.

Well see you!

See you!

Shut up!

In 1949, communist rebels take
over China and a country falls.

Did you have a nice trip, mom?

That's very funny young man.

Keep joshing like that

And you're never going to
college like your sister here.

How's my little co-ed doing
with her bookkeeping review?

Fine!

The current ratio
equals current assets

Divided by liabilities.

That's what it says.

Hi dad!

Kiddo!

Hello Dale!

You know, I really don't
appreciate you calling

During school hours.

Oh, come on June, it's
freaking summer already,

I don't know with that
stick up your ass,

But they sure put
it in there good.

Well, you did Dale,
you stuck it up there,

Same way you
shoved it up your

Daughter's sixth grade
music teacher's butt.

Remember that?

That little high recorder
incident with Mr. Kinkle.

Lord knows
we all do.

Oh Jesus, June,

Stop blaming me for
your miserable life,

And stop
smothering my kids.

Don't you dare question how
I am raising these kids,

If anything, you
should be thanking me.

I had Bethany
through AP Calculus

Before she was
even menstruating.

You listen up lady,
and you listen up good,

Maybe you're the
reason I'm queer.

Did you ever think
about that one?

12 years with you is
enough to turn any man gay!

Hi! How are you?

Later bro.

What's up?

Nothing!

That's cool!

What are you doing later?

I don't know, probably just
watching a movie or something.

Yeah, there's this girl that
lives over at Rancho Vista,

And she's having a party,

Me and my homies are going,
you should come.

Oh, would you look at that?

Oh, that's precious!

I don't feel very good.

All right!

I'm going to go to bed.

Okay sweetie.

You let me know if
you need anything.

# There ain't no debating
there's a cold front

# Blizzard in the middle
of the house

# Every time I want to
make a run for it

# You give me reason
to stick it out

# Oh oh oh oh...

# Oh oh oh oh oh...

Do you want a beer?

Is this Truth or Dare?

Say what?

Dawg, I just asked her if she
wants some brew, that's all.

Word.

Just chill, bro!

Hey... when did you
get into white chicks?

Nice outfit honey.

Are you okay?

Look at her
black underwear.

Use this as a cover-up.

You will feel better when
you have something to drink,

I swear.

Kind of tastes like licorice,

But except that it really burns.

- Ready?
- Yeah.

One, two...

Oh!

Nasty.

Somebody get me a towel.

Dry mouth, increased urination,

Difficulty breathing
or swallowing,

Losing sexual ability or desire,

Persons with the family
history of depression,

Maybe more likely to
develop the disease.

Before taking...

Talk to your doctor to
see if this medication

Is right for you.

You know what,

When I was like 12, my
older brother took me to a party

And I got so drunk I
puked spaghetti everywhere.

Really?

Yeah, like whole spaghetti.

You had... well, I can't
tell what you really had.

It's really no
big deal actually.

Hector not here.

They left already.

They said maybe
some big party.

What?

Do I have something
on my face?

No, it's just...

I read in this thing that's
what I'm supposed to do.

Are you okay?

I'm having a
really good time.

You are?

Yeah.

Maybe we should
kiss or something.

Okay.

Sometimes counting
to three helps.

Ready?

1, 2...

What the fuck man?

Oh dude, could somebody
please put the music back on?

Oh, your parents should
be ashamed of themselves

Raising a bunch of hot
in the pants degenerates.

Do you know what they
say about girls who play?

They pay, got that?

You play, you pay.

Young lady.

You give me no choice
but to ground you.

You will not leave the
house unless I say so.

How is that different
from any other day?

It's not like you let
me do anything anyway.

You do not know how good
you have it, young lady.

How about this?

How about I treat
you like a grownup

When you start
acting like one?

I'm trying.

What's going on?

Why is Grandma here?

It's called an intervention.

After last night's events

We all thought that
someone around here

Could use a little
attitude adjustment.

What? This?

Is this stupid thing

What you're most concerned
about this morning?

Well, then let's see
what's in it, shall we?

Oh!

Hmm! Look here,

Is this what all the sluts
are wearing these days?

I can't see.

Here you are mother.

Let's see what else we have...
oh, oh, are these your Johns?

Well, good luck with them.

They're probably all Nancy
boys like your father.

Now, what do we have next?

Oh, this is such a nice
blouse, it has a lot of cleavage

And that ought to be
very good for business.

All right! That's enough, June.

And nice earrings
for a streetwalker.

# Take a look at
this cozy room

# We won't be moving
any time soon.

# Take a look at
this crazy life

# Now tell me if you
think it's raining right

# Or we can talk it over

# But I want to let
you need...

# Come here and
just stay here

# You're lucky,
you made it

# We already
had this fight...

The no payment thing is only
for the first six months,

Then the seis months.

Then the interest
that you didn't pay

Is included on the...
if you... wait a second.

I'm sorry.

Could you give me one minute?

One uno
momento, por favor.

You know the wicked witch
has been calling all day.

I don't care.

Kiddo, I've got
to move some cars,

So why don't you hang
out here in our lounge

And get yourself
something from the machine.

You can have
anything you want.

You're wearing pajamas.

Put this on,
and for the love of God,

Will you get that freaking
nut job off my back?

Hey dad!

Shayne, it's Bethany.

Is dad's house the coolest?

I don't know.

Can you do me a favor
and tell mom I'm okay

And I'm not coming home.

I'll tell her when she is
done talking to the pigs.

My ex-husband has her,
I just know it.

Ma'am, we're going to need
some additional information

Before we can get
started on the amber alert,

As well as a recent photo.

Oh! Well, I already
made up a flyer.

Here it is.

Ma'am, how old is your daughter?

She is 18.

Birth date 3/16/1993.

What is...

Your adult daughter ran off to
her dad's, didn't she, ma'am?

Ma'am, she's no longer a minor.

There's nothing we can do.

But, but, but.

Officer, he'll, he'll,
he'll brainwash her.

You don't know him like I do.

She'll be back, you'll see.

She can't make it on her own.

She needs me.

I think you're really
going to like Chip.

He's a lot of fun.

Just so you know,

He's a little bit
younger than Terry.

That's what you said.

Hey! Hey!

I just want to
introduce you to...

Bethany!

It is so nice to meet you.

Okay, we have fruit juice,
soda, Mudslides are blending,

Or I can make you a daiquiri,
if you prefer.

The day this
little girl has had,

She is going to want a Mudslide,
am I right?

- Soda's fine.
- Okay.

Can is okay?

Can, yes.
Thank you!

Bethany, did you know
that your dad two-steps?

Really?

I'm more of a shadow dancer.

Chip is the one
with all the moves.

Boo! He does and he's good.

Come on! Come on!

The chicken's getting
cold. Have a seat. Come on!

- Cheers!
- Cheers! Here you go.

So how long do we have you for?

My kids can stay with me for
as long as they would like.

Do you have a game plan?

Oh, not really.

Because my kids
love me for who I am,

Isn't that right, sweetheart?

Honey,

Honey, the good stuff is for
sipping, not chugging, okay?

From what I hear, BC isn't too
shabby, Bakersfield College,

The guys in the wrestling team
are all a bunch of hotties.

What? I'm just
repeating something I heard.

I do not share my
bed with cheaters.

You know what,

My kids don't care who
I fuck or who I don't fuck.

They love me
because I'm their dad.

Okay, okay, I think
someone had a long day

And could use a good
night's sleep, right?

Come on honey.

They love me because
I buy them stuff.

And say good night to
your daughter, Dale.

That is gay, princess.

Night!

I'm good!

Got to take a whiz.

I'm going to give him
a nine for those abs.

My God!

But he's wearing
socks with his sandals.

Oh, you're right, I
wasn't even looking there.

You're good girlfriend.

Somebody's ready to
join the fashion police.

I just kind of like
it, that's all.

I want to go to fashion school.

Oh my God!
You totally should.

Chip!

Well, duty calls.

You know, I don't barback
till 8 tomorrow.

You want to go do something?

I don't know.
I need some clothes.

Then let's go the mall.

Oh goody!

- Really?
- Yeah!

I bet I can get your dad to
give us his credit card.

I'm coming.

All right, girlfriend,
we got you your skivvies.

Now what?

I don't know.

Well, how about a
cinnamon bun break?

- Okay.
- Okay.

Let's go inside.

No. No.

Why not?

You've got to get
your outfit somewhere.

Do it up.

I'm just going to
get something at Ross.

Okay.

May I help you?

Yes, I would like to
register for classes.

Fill out the top portion,

Including date of
birth and Social.

We need your race,
gender, primary language,

Whether or not
you're handicapped.

Tell her about our special
student housing program.

All the pretty girls get
to stay at my place.

Oh Dean...
you're terrible!

SAT or ACT scores are helpful,
so we know where to place you.

I'm also going to need the
name of your high school,

Contact information,

So they can provide us with
copies of your transcripts,

Your diploma.

Can I take this at
home and fill it out?

I'm finished.

Oh here!

Valedictorian of
Pruitt home school?

Yeah.

You didn't put anything
for job history.

That's because I
don't have any.

Yeah, you need to
have experience.

Yeah, it's Chip who really
knows how to do this.

That's too bad,
it's a beer burst thing.

What's wrong, pumpkin?

I don't know what
I'm doing here.

Is this about the job?

I will help you find a job.

You leave it to
your old man, okay?

Show me your titties.

Hi!

Did you find
everything okay today?

No, actually,

I was wondering if you had a job
application I could fill out.

Just one sec.

And I don't have
any experience,

But I've a really great sense
of fashion, is that okay?

Oh tots, I'll keep that in mind.

You're done?

Yeah, I'm finished.

Should I just leave it...
leave it here?

When do you think I'll
hear back, potentially?

Right now.

Here's your interview,
can you fold?

Yes.

Will you shut up
when I tell you to?

Yes.

We liked the same guy,
but I liked him more,

Would you back off?

Yes.

You got the job.

Really?

Yes.

Oh my gosh!

Oh, this is so cool!

What now?

We train you and
you sell clothes.

Oh my God, thank you so
much, this is awesome!

And get some new
outfits for fuck's sake.

Okay, I will.

That's the wrong way,
I go this way, okay.

Bye!

Let's make a toast

To our working girl.

We are so proud of you.

Do you get a discount?

15%.

This calls for a celebration.

Okay, ready?

One, two, three,

Happy birthday to me,

- happy birthday to me!
- Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday...

Oh, it's your fault
she's gone June,

You're the one who
chased her away,

You and that winning
personality of yours.

Excuse me mother,

But the last time I checked
that isn't how the song goes.

Jeez Grandma, forget to
snort your oxygen today?

I don't get it either,

Every Wednesday night
the freaks come out,

Fuck only knows why
Pat lets them in.

You aren't one of
them, are you?

No, no, I'm not.

What are you doing here?

I just moved here.

Only good thing about
gay nights is $3 beers.

And they let underage little
shits like you in here.

Look at you, baby girl!

Hey, you ready to blow
this joint or what?

This is Chip.

I could take you home.

And just what exactly are
your intentions, young man?

I've got a Jeep Wrangler
Sport with 33 inch rims,

The seats are waterproof.

I just hose them off,
if she gets on them.

Let's go for a ride.

Okay, good night!

And there you
are, beautiful!

Move it over there.

No, that's not it,
give me that chain.

Oh man! My titties
are killing me.

Are you on the pill?

No.

I went off because I
gained like six pounds,

I kept getting these
massive breakouts.

Then I'm like, who cares,
as long as I don't feel like

I want to cut my
tits off, you know?

What about this?

Well, my boy friend hates
putting his dick in a wrapper;

He says it's like
eating a burger

With the paper still on it.

That's kind of cute.

Really?

What do you use for protection?

My boyfriend is in the Marines,

But I'm seeing someone
else and we use rubbers.

And he doesn't
bitch about it?

That's right, home girl,

He just needs to be
happy he's getting some.

And my boyfriend's
being such a dick right now,

He's not returning
my texts or anything.

I'm thinking about showing
him and getting pregnant.

Of course if I get pregnant
I can't go to FATI.

What's FATI?

Fashion Art and
Technology Institute.

I'm applying for
the winter session,

It's in San Francisco.

I guess if I had a baby

I could give it to my mom
and go in the summer.

I want to go.

I want to meet your boyfriend,
we should double or something.

We should.

Who's up you guys?

Still you.

Wooh!

Go Brianna!

Get off.

Baby!

I don't want you
on here right now.

Nice one!

So what do you want to do?

I don't know.

Got any movies?

Actually, I think my
dad might be home so...

You like to rock?

Man, this guy can sing.

Push your seat back.

Why?

Hey, what's up you guys?

What the fuck, man.

Come on out!

What's going on?

None of your
goddamn business.

Well, if it involves my girl,
I think it is my business.

What are you doing, stop it.
Oh my God!

Shit! I didn't think
I could do that.

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Oh my God! You guys are
all a bunch of freaks.

Freak! I will show you freaky...

Come on bitch,

Get out,
come on, come on.

I'll show you freaky.

Come on bitch!
What the fuck?

I'll tell your
dad I did, okay.

Why?

I'll tell him that
someone punched me

After I rear-ended them.

Trust me, it's better that way.

That's how friends roll.

Yeah, my veneer
popped off, yeah sucks.

Kids, how many times do I have
to ask you to make the beds?

# Yeah, I was a child, but
that don't cut it anymore

# Not like I'm playing on
any little swing set

# Is the world that's
spinning around

What a douchebag!

Nice helmet fucktard.

Sick dog, what's his name?

Lucifer.

Nice!

Badass, is there
a medium?

It's not like they'll miss it.

What about the balance sheet?

The merchandise inventory
won't match accounts receivable.

Just think of it
as a little bonus.

It's not like we
don't deserve it.

Here, you take one too.

No, no.

No really, what size are you?

I don't want it, okay?

- Why not?
- Because I already have it.

Make sure your
shoulders are totally parallel

Before you half it.

Yours overlap sometimes.

Sorry.

You know, I'm thinking of
training you for cashier.

Really?

Yeah, I think you
would be decent,

With all that account
balance bullshit.

Wow!

Thank you!

What size are you?

Small.

You should come over
sometime and spend the night.

We can go over
register functions.

There you go.

How far's San
Francisco from here?

Uh, about
four-and-a-half hours,

But I have done it in four.

Why, you want a road trip?

There is this
fashion school there

And I kind of want
to check it out.

Oh my God! That's great!

Eh!

What?

This applerita
tastes like shit.

I did something wrong.

I didn't say I
wasn't going to drink it.

Work promoted
me to cashier.

Hey! Look at you, sister.

Who's that?

Oh! It's Randy,

He's giving me a ride to work.

Why?

Because it's on his way.

Bye girlfriend!

Bye!

Did you see that?

What the fuck was that?

Okay, I have to study
Returns and Exchanges.

Don't worry sweetheart,

I'm not going to bother you.

Did I tell you about
that time Terry ran off

With that total flamer who sold
online ads for the Penny Saver?

Yes, you did.

Coffee, sweetheart?

Where's Chip?

Gone.

What did you do?

I didn't do anything, he did.

He cheated on me.

Oh that's bullshit!

Pumpkin; I saw him
with my own two eyes

Behind the Casablanca.

I knew it all along
though, didn't I?

What else it is new, right?

I gave him my heart and my soul,

Not to mention my Miata.

What does he do take a
big piss all over me.

Ah!

Ah!

Why me?

Huh?

Why me?

Why can't I win?

Where are you
going, Princess?

Hey!

Want me to wrestle you
up some breakfast?

Uh-oh! I'm done.

If you're short,

You just write it
on this form here.

And you don't get in trouble?

Not if it's under like 20.

Cents?

Dollars!

Seriously, no one cares.

Hey Brianna!

Um...

Do you think it would be okay
if maybe I spent the night,

Tonight?

Remember, when you invited me?

We can watch something
else if you want.

No, no, no... it's okay.

I didn't know I
had to watch Kera.

Me and Carl are going to hot
tub if no one's in there.

Will you move, we can't see.

Are you drinking my coolers?

No, these are mine,
I gave you money.

Now move!

Fine, that's the way
you want to play me.

Don't forget to
feed your sister.

Here's the last of
your Mother's things.

Shayne, be a good boy and
bring grandma her smokes.

Alright, but you've got to
take your thingie out first,

We don't want you become
a flaming hairball again.

What do you think
I am, stupid?

Oh man!

Lacy!

It wasn't the dog.

Holy Shit! Grandma!

Young man, what did I say
about that language?

Jiminy Christmas!

I told the fellas
I had to make one,

They didn't listen.

Who's ready to
clean me up?

Come on people,
I'm dying here.

11.69.

3.31 is your change,
here's your receipt.

Have a nice day and thank
you for shopping at Jail Bait!

Hold on, I will be
with you in one second.

Well take your time,

I have waited this long.

Hello! You may remember me,

I go by the name of 'Mom'.

I came here to tell
you that hmm, hmm,

Grandma is dying.

What?

But we have not told her yet,

I don't want to upset her.

Now... I know that it must
be very, very hard for you

To tear yourself away,

But this is a family emergency,
we do need you at home,

And I thought that you might,

Maybe would like to see your
grandmother before she passes.

I will... I will ask
for some time off.

That's okay Bethany,

I was going to fire you anyway.

Why?

Turns out you
were right about

The whole account
balance bullshit,

Regional knows
someone's been stealing

And I told them it was you.

Ah!

You told me to.

I was testing you,

It was a test and you failed.

Well look I was
about to pay for it.

Your mom's having a stroke
or menopause or something.

It's just...
it's a panic attack,

And she gets someone
she needs a house for...

Would someone get
her out of here?

Riana please!

I thought we were friends.

Please, this job means
everything to me.

Yeah, I need a shoplifter and a
sick bitch escorted out of here,

Now!

It's fine, we're leaving,

Okay.

# Sometimes it takes
balls to be a woman

# To a test while
wearing a party dress

# Sometimes...

The Vasquez's' are moving?

They're in foreclosure,

That's what happens when
there is too much fiesta,

Not enough workie workie.

Hey Grandma!

Oh! Hi honey!

You look really
good, grandma!

Oh okay, okay,
nice to see you too.

Oh!

Honey, let's... let
grandma get some rest;

I think she's
probably very tired.

Hey! It's Bethany,

How are you?

Hey, girlfriend!

I have been thinking about you.

Really?

Umm Because I...
yeah, here's the thing,

My grandma's really sick,

Like really sick and
I was thinking, you know,

After we could...

May be move-in together like...
like roommates or something.

Oh Sugar!

That sounds like
so much fun but

Guess who's back
together with your dad.

Oh!

That's cool.

Just one?

Hello!

Mom's right, Shayne,

The whole world sucks.

Oh, good morning!

You will be happy to hear

That I applied for an extension

On your Phelps
University classes.

Why?

Because you're
behind, that's why.

I'm not doing it.

Well, I am so sorry;

I did not realize you have the
whole world at your finger tips,

That must be very nice for you.

All right,
what is it if I may ask,

You do want to do?

I want to go to fashion school.

Going to college for clothes;

Talk about a waste of money.

And what about...

After Grandma's gone.

I cannot believe you are
thinking about this now, oh.

Make sure mine are...

I know mother,

Loosey goosey got it.

What about your accounting?

That's what you want,
why don't you do it?

Well, what if we
get your father

To get you a subscription to
one of those clothes magazines,

Would that make you happy?

And who wants to rub
SAB on my bedsores?

Well I am making
breakfast here?

What are you doing?

Hey!

Hey! What's up?

Hey!

I was just getting some
stuff from the garage.

Oh, that's cool!

Yeah.

You changed your hair.

Yeah, I just...

Just finished boot
camp down in SD.

Really?

Yeah.

On the 5th I get deployed.

Badass!

So I heard you got a
job up in Beechfield.

Yeah, I'm just back here,
because my grandma's dying.

That's cool!

Dude!

Come on Bro,
I ain't got all day.

I better go.

Oh! I still have
your sweatshirt.

All right, it's okay,
I don't need it.

Okay, good luck I guess!

All right, thank you, you too!

Dressed Up, Michael Paul.

Hi!

I was wondering if by any
chance you guys were hiring.

Well, actually I could
use some part-time help.

I was recently awarded 120
hours of picking up trash

On the 14th Freeway.

Do you have any experience?

Oh tots!

Oh, my boobs are killing me.

My boyfriend...
we're dating and we...

I'm not on the pills so we
use rubbers, so it's hurting.

You have really
nice penmanship.

Thank you!

Do you have a boyfriend?

What?

Nothing.

Get the abs of your dream.

Just minutes every day...

Okay. All right!

Slow down grandma,
I don't want you to choke.

You're a pitiful
Pocahontas, you know that?

What kind of a moronic
dope wastes her life

Getting stuck on
her mom's house

Wiping her old
mama's poop shoot?

Do something with
yourself for pity's sakes.

I want to be here
for you grandma.

Honey, let grandma eat in peace,

Besides I could use some help

Acting out the Iran
hostage crisis,

Really could.

# Uh-oh uh-oh here
comes tomorrow

# Uh-oh uh-oh what
will we borrow now

# And pay back somehow

# Whoa...

# This is the
Pilgrim's progress

# That ain't no
time to rest.

# So get up out
of your bed

# Whoa...

# Shake off fall
on your head

# Shake off fall
on your head

# Whoa oh...

# We've got things
that we got to do

# You've got people who
are counting on you

# Counting on you

# Uh-oh uh-oh here
come's tomorrow

# Uh-oh uh-oh...

Why did you take down
the Lisbon Lace number?

Oh, I sold it.

For the full sale price?

Uh-huh.

Well, it's not even
winter ball season.

Michael Paul,

Could you write me a
recommendation for something?

Uh-huh.

And if I sell my own designs,

Will I get to keep
the money from that?

# We've got things
that we got to do

# You've got people who
are counting on you

# Counting on you

# We've got things
that we got to do

# You've got people who
are counting on you

# Counting on you

Oh my God!

So cute!

I know, really, look at it.

Oh my God! It looks so good!

Oh my God!
This is like romantical.

# We've got things
that we got to do

# You've got people who
are counting on you

# Counting on you

# We've got things
that we got to do

# You've got people who
are counting on you

# Counting on you

Did you try paying
the bill, Mom?

Can I borrow the
car tomorrow?

But you don't work
on Saturday.

Michael Paul needs me.

Well, why don't
I drop you off?

We could stop at
the Jiffy Go,

You know, like a
mom-daughter morning out.

Why doesn't she pick up
the sedan from my place?

Oh mother, that
car's a deathtrap.

You want?

It's yours.

Like for keeps?

Sure!

What do I need it for?

# Wish we could travel far

# And drive the
length of a land...

# Don't mind if we
have to live time to time

# If you're with me

# I don't mind living
poor for all my life

# if you're with me

Hello!

It says there's
insufficient funds.

Well, I know.

That's why I'm
making a deposit.

No ma'am, the
check's no good.

What do you mean?

It's my ex-husband's.

He has an account
with this bank.

There's not enough money
in his account to cover it.

Are you sure?

I'm looking at
the account now.

Well, can you give
me what he has?

That's not how it works.

Just when were you
planning on telling me,

Because a little warning
would have been nice?

Well, what can
I tell you, June,

People just
aren't buying cars.

Tell her about the B&B.

Here's the thing.

Chip and I are thinking
about moving down to Baja

And opening a B&B.

Uh, what?

Excuse me!

With what money,
and what about us?

What did that
moron do now?

Mother, please!

How many times do
I have to tell you,

Get off your ass, get a
job and get a fucking life.

I do have a life, Dale,

It's a very rich life,

And I do have a job,

It's called
bringing up our children,

It's called sheltering them,

It's called protecting
them from cretins like you.

Oh lady, you are such
a fucking nightmare.

Well, maybe you should
have thought about that

Before you talked a
certain young woman

Into having unprotected
premarital relations.

Believe me, I do.

I think about it every
goddamn day of my fucking life.

It's enough.

Okay.

All right, fine, thanks.

Thank you!

June, your dog
just upchucked.

Oh,

You're here early.

Don't you have
community service?

It's finished.

I'm finished.

That's cool!

Yeah, yeah, it's cool!

So yeah, you know,

I'm probably going to
have to cut back your hours

A little bit.

To what?

Maybe none.

I mean, I mean, I realize
that we've been selling

Gobs of dresses,

But I just can't afford to have
you on the floor anymore, so...

What about my designs?

Well, you know, maybe Fashion
Cottage will want to buy them,

But I've just been getting
a lot of complaints

From some of our
older customers.

All they buy
are pantyhose.

Well, I guess,
some people are

Just really
bad with change.

And then the
FBI unsuccessfully

Attempted to negotiate.

Sweetheart, what
are you doing home?

I want to kill myself.

That's exactly what the
Branch Davidians said.

It's supposed
to be right there,

But I don't understand
what's happening to textbooks.

Well, I'm sorry, but
since your deadbeat dad

Decided to skip out on
his support obligations,

We all need to contribute.

You stole my money.

I did not; I borrowed it.

Jesus June!

Well, how do you think that I
make ends meet with your father

Gallivanting off to Mexico?

I mean, how do you think
we put food on the table

And have a roof
over our heads?

What about grandma?

Why can't you ask
grandma for help?

No, no, I will not go
crawling back to that woman

With my hand out,
not in million years.

But it's okay to steal
from your daughter.

It's not like she is even going
to be here for much longer.

Who?

What?

Who?

I'm so sorry, grandma.

No one wanted to tell
you, but you're dying.

I'm sorry.

Ah!

Right, fine, mother,
you're not dying.

Are you happy now?

Well, how else was I supposed
to get Bethany to come home?

I trusted you.

Well, life is full
of disappointments,

It's better you start
getting used to them now.

Shame on your, June Pruitt.

You apologize to your daughter.

For what?

For borrowing money

Or for a tiny
little white lie?

All right, fine!

I apologize if my fib.

Don't even.

What the hell's going on?

You really are trying
to kill me, aren't you?

I'm doing the best I
can here, mother.

Oh, you can't do
anything, can you?

Watch your mouth, mother.

I will not be belittled
in my own house.

You mean your
ex-husband's house,

Or maybe now I should call
it your daughter's house.

Why do you
hate me so much?

All I ever do is
try to please you

And all you ever
are is mean and ugly.

I don't hate you;

I hate the
decisions you make.

You fall for a fruit man,
you run off and marry him.

Boy June, you really
know how to pick them.

Well, guess what, mother,

I did it to get away from you.

Did you ever think of that?

I got on the first
horse I could

And I got the hell out of Dodge.

Yeah, but why did you
have to pick ass biscuit?

Oh come on,

I wasn't that bad, was I?

I was just trying to
toughen you up.

You're too sensitive.

That's your problem.

A little help here.

Well!

What do we have here?

Do I get pancakes too?

Who the heck would that
be on a Saturday morning?

June.

What are you doing here?

I wanted to see the kids on
my way down to Mexicali.

I'm sure they'll
be very excited.

Dad!

Hey!

Hey!

Is Chip here?

Get in the truck, kiddo.

Sweetie, sweetie,
what about your pancakes?

- Hey! You there!
- Oh Lacy!

I think she remembers me.

Yes, she does.

Yes, she's a good
dog, yeah, that's right.

All right!

Have fun!

Lacy, come on.

You see kiddo, you can
barely taste the alcohol.

Go ahead and finish it.

Oh my God, your dad
found this killer trailer

That's right across the
Freeway from a water park,

Supposedly when
there's no traffic,

It sounds just
like the ocean.

I want to go.

Hey!

So I know I haven't been
the best dad in the world.

What are you
talking about, dad,

You're the coolest.

I'm going to
order another drink.

# Think of a place
I would go

# I'm daydreaming

# to where the
Sycamore grow

# I'm daydreaming

# And oh if you knew
what it meant to me

# And in the
end so clear

# Oh if you knew
what it meant to me

# Anywhere but here

Did you see the video dad
took of me on his cellphone?

I was laughing so hard, my
drink came out of my nose.

Of course,

The guy with an earring in
each ear is making movies.

Yeah.

Who wants pudding?

Bethany, it's tapioca,

Your favorite.

Isn't anyone
going to talk to me?

Oh! For Christ's sake, June,
give me some goddamn pudding.

Hey, sorry about that.

Should use the penny.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Did you change your
mind about the sweatshirt?

What?

No, no.

Do you want to come down
and hang out or something?

Why don't you come up here?

Seriously?

Yeah.

Lacy, no.

Hey!

Hey!

So what do you want to do?

Wow!

Yeah.

I wish we did this before.

Me too.

Are you serious?

Yes.

# I love your face

# Rosy cheeks
and pale skin

# Makes me
feel this way

# Like a little girl

Lacy,

Come here and
give momma some love?

# So far, it's not...

# But it's not
what they told me

# Come on
look sharp

# The way
that you feel

# Give up anything
to be used to this

# Give up
anything to be home

# We have no choice
but look at your face

# Give up anything to
be used to this

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

No fucking way!

This is Jail Bait,
Amber speaking.

Hey!

It's Bethany.

What?

Pruitt.

I used to work
there with you guys.

Oh! Okay,

Is Brianna there?

No, she doesn't
work here anymore.

Oh my God!

Is she going to FATI too?

I don't know,
I don't think so.

She's having a
baby so I doubt it.

Okay.

What do you think to start,

Contemporary
Auditing or Cash Flow?

How about I do both?

Hey, you got an extra
one of those I can have?

This?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Here.

How do you put it on?

Here, I'll show you.

Okay, so you just
kind of... here,

Just kind of go like
this all the way around.

Okay.

There you go.

Yeah.

But what if I want it
bigger and really dark

And all the way around?

Hey Fonzie, come here and
help your grandma for a minute.

I'm going to eat
before I go to grandma.

Give me a second already.

Coming!

Good girl!

Hurry up, take this.

Oh my God!

No, grandma, I can't.

It's yours,
I want you to have it.

It's for you.

Better you than your mother.

Okay, that was mean.

She's going to be fine.

This is for you.

Go buy yourself
something pretty.

Jesus Christ!

Talk about
needing fashion school.

Hey, ass-wipe,

All the emo freaks
belong on the bleachers.

Go!

What?

What?

You have the
baloney sandwiches?

Yeah.

I made them with one slice
each just like you like them.

Thank you!

Oh, remember to fill up when
you reach a quarter of a tank,

Okay?

No less.

All right, I will!

And lock your doors
while you're driving,

Because there is no
telling what kind of hustlers

Can come up to your car.

Okay.

Well, I guess this is it then.

I think so.

Okay, mom,

I'm going to be okay.

I know you will.

And you'll be too.

I hope you know how
much I appreciate this.

I mean, I'm going to do it...

All right, all right,

Stop it before I change my mind.

I love you mom!

# Say that I'm changed.

# Say that I'm different.

# Maybe I finally
understand

# Say I let go

# Say it's obvious

# Well, I tell myself over,
Over, and over again

# I'm ready

# I'm ready

# I'm ready to leave

# Da... da... da...

# Da... da... da...

# da... da... da...

# da... da... da...

# da... Da...

# da... da... da...

# da... da...

# So tell me I'm strong

# Tell me I'm weak

# Tell me I never
ever have been

# And tell me I'm fine

# Tell me I'm cold

# Cold, I tell myself over,
over, and over again

# I'm ready

# I'm ready

# I'm ready to leave

# And all the
work and love

# The choices you make

# All the work and love

# Each tiny mistake

# Let the world watch

# Let the world
wait for you

# So tell me I'm wrong

# Tell me I'm cool

# Tell me I fight

# Tell me I fought for
some things

# I'm ready

# I'm ready

# I'm ready to leave

# I'm ready

# I'm ready

# I'm ready to leave...