Sappy Bull Fighters (1959) Movie Script

[♪♪♪]

♪ Hello ♪

STOOGES:

Hello.

[♪♪♪]

[STOOGES SOBBING]

What's the matter, friends?

That mean old manager

just fired us.

He-- He wanted us to do

10 extra shows for free.

Oh, what a shame.

Now we're out of a job

and we haven't got enough

money to get back home.

We're stranded.

I know exactly

how you feel.

When I first came to this

country I was broke.

Perhaps I can help.

JOE:

Boo-hoo.

♪ Boo-hoo ♪

STOOGES:

♪ Boo-hoo ♪

[DOG BARKING]

Yes, Señor Rodriguez,

they'll be there.

Thank you very much.

Adios.

Boys, I have good news.

Señor Rodriguez is giving

a fiesta at Cantana tomorrow.

He'll hire you to do your comedy

bullfight at the Plaza de Toros

between the regular bullfights.

Terrific.

Great.

Be sure to be there

tomorrow at 12:00.

Why toots, you're--

You're wonderful.

I could kiss you for this.

Oh, close your eyes

and pucker your mouth.

Boy, what a kiss.

Woo-hoo.

Well, boys,

I must get ready for my act.

Be of good cheer,

and do a good show.

Thank you very much.

What a doll.

Oh, and she got us a job.

Bull ring, here we come.

MOE AND JOE:

Gosh.

Bull ring,

here we come.

Gosh.

♪ Bull ring

Here we come, gosh ♪

♪ Bull ring

Here we come, gosh ♪

♪ Bull ring

Here we come, gosh ♪

♪ Bull ring

Here we come, gosh ♪

♪ Bull ring

Here we come, gosh ♪

♪ Bull ring

Here we come, gosh ♪

♪ Bull ring

Here we come, gosh ♪

♪ Bull ring

Here we come, gosh ♪

Oh! What's the matter with you?

Come on. Let's rehearse

our act so we'll be good.

Get the bag.

Okay.

Get it.

♪ Bull ring

Here we come, gosh ♪

♪ Bull ring

Here we come, gosh ♪

Ooh. Excuse me.

Oh, oh, oh.

What's the matter?

I can't see.

Why can't you see?

I got my eyes closed.

Why you--

Aw, come on.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.

Why you--

Wait a minute.

Hey, look.

Look.

What's this?

Greta took our suitcase.

Well, let's get in her

dressing room and get ours.

I'll go.

Wait a minute.

We'll all go.

Oh...

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Come in.

Oh, hello.

Hello. You know, you took

our suitcase by mistake.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's over there.

Oh, boys,

have a snack with me.

Oh, you twisted our arms.

LARRY: Oh, boy, food.

Would you join me in a cocktail?

There isn't room in there

for the both of us.

Oh, be careful of that sauce.

It's hotter than fire.

Ha-ha. Here's cheers.

You know, babe,

I sure can go for you.

You don't have to go

anywhere for me.

Oh, I don't mean that.

I mean, you're the most.

Here's how.

Ooh-ooh.

[COUGHING]

You all right, Joe?

Yeah, yeah.

Boy, was that hot stuff.

Oh, I'm awfully sorry.

Oh, never mind.

I'm all right now.

Oh, boy, shrimp. Hey.

Darling.

Come and kiss me, sweetheart.

I knew you'd

change your mind.

What makes me

so irresistible to women?

Mm, boy.

Oh, get away, boys,

you're bothering me.

Give me another kiss.

How dare you kiss her

in front of my eyes.

Well, turn around and I'll

kiss her behind your back.

Hey, who is that idiot?

That idiot is my husband, I--

Your husband?

Your husband!

Oh, Jose, no.

They are my friends.

They work with me

in the theater.

I took their suitcase

by mistake.

All right.

Now, get out.

If I catch you

with my wife again

I will tear you to pieces.

[SHOUTS IN SPANISH]

We forgot our suitcase.

Let me have it.

Those fools.

Calm yourself, darling.

I have such

a terrible headache.

Go and rest a little

while I change.

Lie down here.

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

You stupid stooge,

you had to monkey around.

Why you--

Ah, leave him alone--

Oh, you bully.

How do you like that?

We've got the wrong

suitcase again.

Well, we'll rehearse

first and then--

The wrong suitcase!

We'll have to go back

and get ours. Go ahead.

Not me.

I'm not gonna have him kill me.

What are you,

a man or a mouse?

Squeak, squeak.

Go on.

Wait a minute.

If he kills me,

I'll come back and haunt you.

Go haunt a house.

How many rooms?

Seven.

With or without bath?

With--

[LARRY AND JOE LAUGHING]

[BOTH CRY OUT]

Go on.

[WHIMPERS]

Ooh.

Thank you.

Oh, you fools,

if my husband finds you

in this room, he'll kill you.

We got the wrong

suitcase again.

What did you say, Greta?

Did you call me, Greta?

No, darling.

It's all right.

JOSE:

But I thought I heard voices.

But it was nobody.

Go to sleep.

Shh, go away.

Go away, go away.

[BARKING]

Shh!

Pepe. Pepe, be quiet.

Come here, Pepe, come here.

Shh.

Pepe. Pepe, be quiet.

Shh.

Nice Pepe.

Come here.

Nice Pepe.

Pepe, your nose, it has grown

real long, I think, eh?

Nice Pep--

Pepe, what has happened

to your hair?

It is bald-headed on the top.

[BOTH SCREAM]

A-ha.

So you have a man

in here, huh?

You have two men in here.

Three men.

[CRIES OUT]

I shall kill them.

[CRIES OUT]

Ah!

I will kill them.

[CUCKOO CLUCKING]

[♪♪♪]

[CROWD CHEERS]

Ladies and gentlemen,

as an added attraction,

we wish to present

dos loco Americanos comedians:

The Three Stooges.

They will do a comedy

bullfight.

We hope you like them too many.

Thank you.

[PLAYING COMEDIC SONG]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[CROWD LAUGHING]

Okay, bull, come on.

[APPLAUSE]

So you wanna fight, eh?

To the fairest lady in Mexico,

I dedicate this bull--

And I do mean "bull."

[CROWD LAUGHS]

Must be windy.

[CROWD LAUGHING]

You double-crosser, you.

[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

Let the bull out.

Sí, señor. Gracias.

[CROWD LAUGHING]

[BAND PLAYING COMEDIC SONG]

Okay, fellas, let's go.

[CROWD GASPS]

[SNORTS]

Come on.

Hey, fellas,

the act is going over great.

Listen to that audience.

[SNORTS]

[SNIFFS]

Hey, you guys even

smell like a bull.

Come on, now.

Just don't stand there,

you crazy.

Come on, charge me.

Charge me.

Look, you guys.

[BOTH MOUTHING WORDS]

What are you guys

doing out there

when you're supposed

to be in here in the bull skin?

[SNORTS]

Nice bull.

I was-- I was only kidding.

[CRIES OUT]

[GROWLS]

[BARKS]

[CROWD LAUGHING, CHEERING]

Come on back, and fight

like a bull, you-you coward.

Nice work, kid.

[APPLAUSE]

[CROWD LAUGHING]

Help! Help!

Help!

Larry! Moe!

Hey, throw these darts.

Maybe it'll slow the bull down

and he can get off.

Ouch.

Ow!

Ouch. Ow.

Moe!

[CROWD LAUGHING]

You. Trying to cramp

our act, huh?

I'm furious.

Come on, and fight like a man.

I dare you to fight.

I'll make you fight.

[APPLAUSE]

[PLAYING COMEDIC SONG]

One, two, three, four, five,

and five is ten.

You're out.

Hurray, the winner.

Olé!

CROWD [CHANTING]:

Olé. Olé. Olé. Ha-lo.

Olé. Olé. Olé. Ha-lo...

[♪♪♪]

Sappy Bull Fighters (1959) - full transcript