Santa in Training (2019) - full transcript

A little known secret is that every 30 years a new Santa Claus is chosen to replace present Santa. So what could go wrong when two eccentric elves are sent to bring back and train a man who says he hates Christmas? Just about everything.

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{\fnArial\3c&HFFFFFF&\1c&FF0000&\fs20\b1\an0} Edit sync By : D.LUFFY

Eddie, you should be in bed

Remember, if you are not asleep
Santa will not come over

Do you think he will
come this year, mom?

- Of course he will, Santa always...
- No. No Santa, Dad

Do you think he will come?


I've been good during the year
And if you've been really good

then Santa brings you
everything you want. Right?

That's the rule

And if it is a rule
then he has got to do it. Right?

Well, yes, but...

All I ask is for Dad to show up
That's all

Eddie, your father
He's... Well...

- I didn't ask for anything else
- I know, I know

Come, lay down
and try to rest a bit, okay?

Santa can do anything

Merry Christmas, Eddie


Should have come
to the Christmas party

Christmas party?
It's December 1st

We just had Thanksgiving

It's better an early Christmas
party than no Christmas party

No one wants a janitor
at their party

It does not hurt to be social

The only reason why people
want me is to clean!

They are filthy animals

Yes, and those same people let
you get away with certain things

- Things? Like what?
- Breaking the rules

- What rules?
- Sleeping on the job

There are guidelines, Mario

In the real world
there is guidelines, not rules

Besides, I am not going
to be doing this forever

Well, with that attitude
you can count on it

Well, I got to go, because I have to
clean up a stupid Christmas party

- Remember?
- Come on! Merry Christmas Eddie

It is December 1st
Forget about Christmas

You are such a grinch

''On the first day of Christmas
my employer gave to me''

''complete and utter... misery''

I will do it later

- Santa?
- Hey, Bruno

How are things going?

Everything is on track, sir

Everything will be ready
to go for Christmas Eve

- Good
- Hey Bruno

Santa, I have got
that hot chocolate for you

Extra marshmallows
just like you like it

- Thank you, Paula
- Speaking...

Say Paula, what do you want
for Christmas this year?

I would really like a new set of tools
You know, to build toys with

But do not get me wrong
I really like the ones I have now

So it is okay if I do not get them

I would also explode
with peppermint

for a charitable donation
to the children's shelter

Slow down, child. Slow down

Let me have the list
I will look it over later

Thank you so much Santa!

- Speaking of...
- Isn't she the best?

Yes. Yes, sir. She is... She
is my favorite. No doubt about it

Speaking about Christmas Eve
This is the year

What? What are you talking about?
Yes, yes

I have been having such
a hard time narrowing down

the list of candidates for Santa

- But...
- But

- I think I have a winner
- Really?

Somebody that is kind

- friendly, organized
- Of course

Somebody that I have been
watching for a long time

and I am certain he can take over
my operation and fill in my boots

- Santa
- Someone that I know

- You read my...
- Liam Mueller

This is the winner right here

Bruno, Bruno...
Your resume is great

But it's lacking one thing
World knowledge

Santa needs to know people

You have lived here
in the North Pole your whole life

- I see
- Besides...

who is going to run
my operation? I need my head elf

- Santa, I...
- ''Let me take your scarf''

- I understand
- Great

I knew you would understand
So, I can trust you with this?

Yes, Santa. I will put
my best elf on training detail

Thank you, Bruno

Hey, Bruno?

''Sorry, what is it like to be
the head elf? I bet it is great''

''All that time you get
to spend with Santa''

''Would not it be great
to be Santa one day?''

''I am just hoping that one day
I can have your job''

''After you retire, of course''

''You must be the happiest elf
in the Pole. Will you still be...?''

Pass me over for a promotion
This was supposed to be my year

Bearded, cookie-eating...
You want a new Santa?

I will get you a new Santa

Just who I need

This is too perfect

Goodbye, Liam Mueller
Hello, Eddie Garcia

Merry Christmas to me

Now for the final touch

Just what I need

Dippy, to my office now

- Slippy reporting for duty, sir
- Dippy reporting for duty, sir

I have an assignment for you guys

I need you to train the new Santa

- Train the new Santa?
- But sir, you always do that

Well, I am actually handing
this to you guys right now

You guys have been
the best elves this year

- Do you think you can do it?
- Yes, sir

It would be an honor, sir

- We won't let you down
- We won't let you down

Hey! Come here, baby
My little astronaut

You look great
Look at you. I love it

We have some fun stuff
for you today

We got ponies, we got Ferris
wheels, we got candy

We got everything
I can't tell you everything, okay?

Just what I need!?

Clara, my world, we have a visitor
Your Ex is here

- Hi Mom
- Hi

Hi, Clara

Oh my God!
Eddie, I am so sorry

- About what?
- It's my parents' anniversary

So Gabby and I are on our way
to go have a dinner

Hold on a second
We talked about it last week

- She was going to come with me
- I know

I know, I got the days mixed up

Listen I can call tomorrow
I can reschedule tomorrow. Okay?

It's just, I really...
I really have to go

Why are they even celebrating?
They hate each other

- You are crazy! Crazy!
- Stop! I'm the crazy one?

Mom, can I please
please stay with Daddy?

See? She wants to go with me
You hear that?

Clara, let her go with her father

Anyways, after all it's only my
wedding anniversary today

- This is why
- Mommy, can you please

take Gabby
and go wait in the car?

- I am sorry, Dad
- I am sorry too, baby

Hey, look, I am really sorry, but it
just can not happen today. Okay?

Why do not you let me back
into the house

so I do not have to deal with
these kinds of issues ever again?

You have only been out
of the house a month

and you are whining
like it has been an eternity

It is an eternity
It feels like that

But you know what?
She is my daughter, too. Right?

If you want me to consider that you
have to put a little bit of more effort

to prove to me that
you are ready for that

A little effort?
I'm here, I'm trying

Honey, that was never the issue
I got to go

Wait a second, why are you getting
your way all the time? Why?

It's not my way, Eddie
Sometimes things come up

and you have to be a little bit
more understanding

I mean you forced me for years
to be understanding

- so I guess now it is your turn!
- Understanding?

I'm understanding that my
daughter would rather spend time

with her father
That I understand

You know what?
If I'm not going to get her today

because obviously I'm not

then I'll pick her up on Monday
after school

I'll get her on Monday afternoon

- Yes, sure, fine
- What?


This will be great

- Hi, Eddie
- Hey!

What do you want? Stay back
Stay back

What do you want?
What do you want?

Hi, Eddie

Look, take whatever you want
Just do not hurt me, okay?

What could we
possibly want in here?

And besides, if we took anything

we would be put
on the naughty list for sure

- Naughty list?
- Yes

Well, we do not want
to get on Santa's bad side

This is Mario's idea

Hey! Mario, where are you?
You had something to do with this

Eddie, this isn't a prank
We're actually two of Santa's elves

- I'm Slippy
- And I'm Dippy

Yes, Slip and Dippy my butt
Hey! Mario, where are you?

- Should we show him?
- I think we're going to have to

Listen I'm going to find out it's you
You're done with me you get it?

Where you at?
I know this is a prank


And now for our final trick...

Is something
supposed to happen?

Yes, the polar bear
might have been too much

''But I didn't ask for anything else''

I know, come, let us try
to sleep a little, okay?

- Hi, Eddie!
- Hey, Eddie Spaghetti!

Have you been
a naughty boy this year?

He's been naughty
You're a naughty little boy

Eddie, I love your
Christmas pajamas!


I thought it was a dream
What the hell is going on?

- We are elves, Eddie
- And we are here to tell you that...

You're going to be
the next Santa Claus!

- Being Santa is a dream
- I wish I was Santa

Look, Eddie, we understand
that this is a lot to process

- Just hear us out
- And if I do that, you'll go away?

Probably not

So there is a little-known secret

that every 30 years or so
a new Santa Claus is chosen

And this year, that is you

Elves, okay

So let us say I wanted to be
Santa Claus, which I don't

because I don't believe in Santa
Claus and I couldn't do it anyway

- Why not?
- Because...

I am Latino, and Santa is white

Silly. Santa has no race
color or gender

Throughout history
there have been Santas

from all over the world

Yes, we have
had Jamaican Santas

''Chinese Santas
Indian Santas''

''Scottish Santa''

We even had a Jewish Santa

You name it
and we have had one

- Mind-blowing
- Remember the alien Santa?

That was my favorite!

Really, I mean, why me?
I don't even like Christmas

Blasphemy! Don't you ever say
you don't like Christmas

- Fine, But why me?
- We are elves, Eddie

It's a little bit above our pay grade
to be questioning those decisions

- You were chosen, so you're it
- We got to get started soon

because we have a lot to do
and not much time to do it

in order to get you ready
for Christmas Eve!

Yes. So we're going to need you
to sign all these papers and...

Look... I can't do this. I have a job
A family. You understand?

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie

Do not think we would
have thought of that

Come on, we got you covered

We made a clone to take
your place while you train!

- A clone?
- Yes

You guys can do that?

Jeez! Eddie, we just made a polar
bear appear in your living room

Now you're questioning
our clone-making abilities?

It's true
So, let me get this straight

You have a clone who is going
to go and do everything for me

and I don't have to show up
at the arena at all?

You won't have time
You'll be training

Sign those papers

and be at this address
tomorrow morning at 8:00 AM

- 8:00 AM sharp!
- You got it

Good morning, Eddie
How was the weekend?

Hey, how are you, Mario?
Come here, good day friend

Looking good

- Are you okay, Eddie?
- Yes, fantastic

- You smell gingerbread?
- Must be my facial cream

Merry Christmas


Well, give him a little lead-in
Maybe he's stuck in traffic

No, no, no, no, no
That's it. Time's up


- What the heck?
- Top of the morning Eddie

Hi, Eddie

- Did you sleep well?
- You look good. Well rested

Well, we got a super exciting day
for you planned

Are you ready, Eddie?
That rhymes. "Ready, Eddie"

- Shut up
- All right, Eddie come on

It's going to be so much fun!

You excited? I am excited
Are you excited?

It's going to be a fun day
I'm so excited

I'm excited, she's excited, you're
excited We're all excited. Let's go

So much excitement in the air

You going to leave the bed
like that?

- Yes
- Yes

- How about some cup of coffee?
- You want some coffee?

- Yes
- I'll get you some coffee

- What did you want?
- Just coffee

I hear that's French

Hey, how about that cup
of coffee?

Where did you go?

- Hello?
- ''You're late, late, late''

Yes, I know
I'm sorry about that

''You're going to be...
going to be, going to be''

When we tell you to be somewhere
at 8:00 a.m you be there at 8 a.m.!

- Are we clear?
- Yes

- What was that?
- I said, yes

The only two words I want to hear
out of your mouth is, "Sir, yes sir"

- Do you understand me?
- That's three words

- Sir, yes, sir!
- I can't hear you

- Sir, yes, sir
- I still can't hear you

- Sir yes sir!
- I can't!

It's your first day!
I'm so excited!

Today, we will be working
on strength and conditioning

As Santa, you have to go through
a bunch of rigorous activities

- that includes...
- He gets it

Now, get your butt started
Come on, move it

Are you ready for Santa's winter
wonder-hell course?


Good. Now, go, go, go, go, go!
Come on! Let's go! Go, go, go, go!

- Eddie, go, go, go, go, go!
- Go, go, go, go!

- Eddie!
- Santa doesn't take breaks

Hey, hey! hey!
Santa doesn't take breaks!

Eddie faster, faster, faster!
Go, go, go!

Eddie, grab the sack
Grab, grab, grab the sack

Put it...grab the sack Eddie
Over, Eddie

Positive attitude, Eddie!
Positive attitude! Go, Eddie, go!

Go, go, go. Let's go. Here we go
Keep on running back

Come on you can do it. No, you
can't. Yes you can. Come on

There's lots of Santas
to take your place

Come on Eddie Son of
a nutcracker this guy is slow

- Come on!
- Go, go, go

Get your nose out there
Get your nose out there

Watch out for the naughty children

They're not that naughty, Eddie
Don't worry

No, they're naughty
No, no they're very, very naughty

''Naughty or nice, Eddie?''

''Naughty or nice?''


- Come on, Eddie!
- Get off me

Slippy, Dippy
Don't make me go...

You're evil kids
Hey! Get off! Get off me!

Faster, faster, faster, Eddie

Do I see slacking?
Do I see slacking?

Push! Push! Push! Push! Push!
Push! Push!

Come on, Eddie
Come on, come on, come on

Come on Eddie
Come on, Eddie

Go, Eddie, go!
Go, Eddie, go!

Breathe, Eddie! Breathe!
Breathe! Breathe!

Santa doesn't fall
Santa does not fall


Come on, Eddie!
Come on, Eddie!

You got a long...
Move it! Move it!

Move it!
Come on! Come on!

That was... pathetic

Eddie, you are so pathetic

You're so pathetic, Eddie
You're so pathetic

He's so cute
Look, he's so cute

He looks so cute
Eddie, what happened?

- What happened?
- You passed out

- It was sad
- You know, you do that a lot

- What time is it?
- It's past 3:00 already

I got to go pick up Gabby

Late again. That is not going
to look good on the old resume

See you here tomorrow!

That is funny, Eddie
You want to know why?

Because when I had to leave work
early to pick up Gabby

after you said you would
I wasn't stuck in traffic

because there wasn't any!

Yes, you should be!

That is obvious!

You know, it's one thing to always
keep me waiting, but now Gabby?

Eddie, I had to leave work early
which means I didn't get to do it

so now I have to finish it at home

No, do not come here
Absolutely not

And then I have to wonder when
you're going to bring her home

I don't think so. I've been just as
understanding as you have been

- Mom, please
- No!

My God!

"If you're going to be Santa Claus
you need to live like Santa Claus"

"Love, Slippy and Dippy"

- Eddie!
- Hello

- Eddie! Put it there bro!
- Let us do it!

- My man Eddie G
- Hey

You guys notice anything
different about Eddie lately?

Only that he's super awesome now

He used to be all broody
and cranky

Now he's super fun

- And he smells delicious
- Delicious?

Like fresh-baked cakes
and cookies

Jenny in Accounting said
she gave him a kiss on the cheek

the other day because
he helped her out with something

and not only did he smell like
cookies, he tasted like them too

What are you guys talking about?

Jeez! I just want to go over there
and lick his face

Am I the only one that notices
his skin looks like a lizard?

Don't be such a hater. It's the
new skin care products he's using

You should be ashamed
for yourself

for judging what's on the outside
instead of what's on the inside

Let's go

- Hi, Eddie
- Hello there

- ''So good to see you''
- ''Yes, of course''

''It's Christmas time''

- Hi, Eddie
- What is wrong with you two?

Nothing that I can see. Everything
seems to be in order

Do you see something wrong?

Have you ever heard
of knocking?

Why, yes, of course


Maybe you should try it
out sometime

before popping up
while I'm taking my bath

But if we knocked
then you wouldn't be surprised

What do you want?

- It's time for your training
- Now?

- What other time is there?
- I am taking my bath

He's taking a bath

No, no! Don't do it
Fine, fine, I'll do it. I'll do it

Okay, so let's go!
Go, go, go! Come on!

He's not moving
Why isn't he moving?

Could I have
some privacy, please?

- Why?
- Because I am naked


We're going to make a note
of this on your report

"Late because naked"

There you are. Take a seat

- During your first week of training
- Which you were pathetic at

- Thanks
- You're welcome

During your first week of training

You dealt with some of the physical
challenges Santa has to face

Now that we're
in our second week...

We're going to have to step it up

because there's only
ten days left till Christmas

I'm sorry
I'm not sorry

Now that we're in our second week

you will not only have to handle
more physical challenges

but mental challenges as well

"What is the circumference
of the earth?"

"How many square feet
is the continent of Africa?"

That is easy

"Where would you find the most
remote islands on earth?"

How would I know
any of this?

You should know
because Santa needs to know

- Yes
- Why would I have to know

the square footage
of the continent of Africa?

Because you do

Now, you have one hour
to complete this examination

- Pencils ready
- I don't have a pencil


Pencils down

- No, no, it is all right
- What?

It is wrong

That is not even a real grade

No, Eddie
Yes, yes, it is. P, for "Pathetic"



Make sure you memorize
all that for next time

Wednesday, warehouse
3:00 p.m. sharp


Hey boss. Got those naughty
list papers for you to sign

Just... Just leave them there

Hey, shouldn't you be
on Santa training detail?

We're sorry you got passed over
for a promotion, by the way

I think you would have
made a great Santa

Yes, so do I. I would take this
organization to where it should be

No more free rides for kids

So, okay, so you've been
a spoiled brat this whole year

You take out the garbage once...
Once and you're on the nice list?

- Not on my watch
- I hear you, boss

These Santas have ruined

If I was the boss, I would stick
coal in every kid's stockings

It's going to happen
Soon enough

In another 30 years, maybe?

- Maybe not
- That's it?

You're just going to leave me
hanging like that?

Well, Matilda, I can't reveal
all my secrets

Everything will be told in due time

- Hey, honey
- Daddy!

How are you baby?

- No traffic today?
- So good to see you

Thanks for doing this, okay?

She wouldn't stop
pestering me, so...

Here we go

I am going to talk
to your mom, okay?

Where do they get
all the energy from?


No, she just loves being with you
And you're so good with her

You know why? Because
we're the same age up here

Finally, something we both
can agree on

- You think you're attractive?
- I guess

Two things we agree on

Look, I just wanted to talk
to you about something

and now it might not be
the right time, but... Look

I know this is not
the life you planned

- Eddie
- No, I...

I think we should work it out. We
should do it for Gabby, you know?

I do hate seeing her upset
all the time

Her not really understanding why
you're not living with us anymore

I don't understand why
I'm not living there anymore

- Eddie
- I'm just kidding

I know
Believe me, I know

You know, you got a big heart
and you're funny

And you can be anything
that you want to be, but...

- But what?
- No buts

I just don't want Gabby to grow up
without a father, like I did

I don't want her to do that

- How about we have dinner?
- Really?

Yes. Yes. We'll sit and we'll talk
and we'll hash everything out

No judgments, no getting angry
at each other. Just talking

All right, but I think we're going to
have to call your mom to referee

No, just you and I

- How about we go to Claro's?
- Our Claro's?

- The one and only
- Okay. I could swing that

So are you going... Are you going
to let me know when?

- Okay
- When?

I don't know
I have to check my schedule

- You're going to call me?
- Yes, I'm going to call you

You're going to pick up
the phone and call me, right?

Yes, jeez, don't make a big
deal out of it. It's just dinner

Daddy, look what I got

How come I don't get
one of those?

Maybe you'll get one for Christmas
who knows?

Maybe you're right

It's time to go honey
Come on

Hey, give me a hug

- I love you with all my heart
- I love you more

- Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
- Hi

- Hi. Come on in
- Can I clean anything?

No, no, no
Not this time, please

Of course. Thank you
Hi, everybody. Hello

So lately, we have all noticed

what a great job
you have done around the office

Yes, I love working
for you guys

- We can tell
- Good

And, as a way of thanking you...

we wanted to promote you
to head of janitorial services

Yes! Thank you so much
That's so unexpected. Wonderful

So the job comes with a pay raise

You'll be in a managerial position

And with that, you'll have
several staff members under you

Like the boss?

- Like I'm a boss?
- Yes. Yes

Wait, I have to keep
cleaning the toilets

I really love cleaning your toilets
I really do. Can I do that?

- Sure. Yes
- Great! Great

And you'll attend weekly staff
meetings and do payroll

Stuff like that but we can
talk about all of that in private

- Anytime
- Later

So in the meantime

Thank you so much

Thank you guys
Thank you. Wonderful

I'm sorry
I'm just going to...

Is there anything
that you want to say?

Yes, of course
I would love to say

that I love each
and every one of you dearly

And I have been here
a long time, haven't I?

Yes, I have, right?

And I want to say that I love
taking out your trash

and I love cleaning your toilets
because they are so clogged up

And you guys do a great job
of doing that. And I love you for it

So thank you very much. Take
some candy. And for you as well

Please share with everyone

And anything you need from me
just call me

Love you guys
Merry Christmas

You guys, he smells amazing

Hi. I knew you would call

Yes, yes well, you told me
you were going to call

Tonight? No...yes! Yes tonight
is great. Tonight is great

You got it, 8:00
I'll be there. Bye

Slippy and Dippy, please
Don't jump out at me, okay?

- Hi Eddie!
- Hi Eddie!

Why do you do that all the time?

It keeps you on your toes

You're going to love
today's training

It's the cookies and milk portion

Now you're talking
Food, yes!

As Santa, every home you visit
will be leaving you a special treat

as a way of saying thank you

And now we'll eat this treat as a
way of saying, "You're welcome"

So on the count of three
you're going to eat

as many cookies as you can
as fast as you can

and you're going to guzzle milk
as fast as you can till I say to stop

Okay, go

One, two, three. Okay, continue
Yes, come on

- Good
- Yes, yes, yes Okay

Chug, chug chug, chug, chug
chug, chug chug, nice!

They used to tell me
that all the time in college

Go, come on. We want a fat Santa
Do you want a fat Santa?

We want a fat Santa
Come on, eat the cookies

Running out of time
Two at a time. Double-fisted

There you go. Nice. Continue

- Cookies very healthy
- Come on, come on

This should be all

- All done?
- All done

- Well, I think you did a good job
- Did an amazing job

I mean, I thought for a moment
I was not going to enjoy it

but I love my milk and cookies

That's good. That's good
Because you're not done yet

You sorry excuse
for the next Santa!

Turn around!
Yes. Go. Come on

Get chewing, let us go. Here
we go, come on, come on...

You guys are the best

Take a cookie, Yes, here
Here, Yes. Enjoy, enjoy

Yes. Please, take it

Good one. Good one

''Take it, take it
Here, smell it. See?''

''So good...
You guys are the best''

I am never eating again. I literally
puked a lake of cookies and milk

- That's good
- Yes, more room for dinner


Hi there, I'm sorry
I'm here to see my wife, actually

She's... She's right there
Thank you

Hi, honey
I'm sorry I'm late

I'm used to it by now

- I know I had it coming. I'm sorry
- Forget I said that. I'm sorry

That's okay. I understand

I guess I'm just
you know, still trying

to get used to our
situation, I guess

Maybe it's because
you don't want to get used to it?

Well, I really wanted
to tell you that...

- Welcome, my name is Pablo
- Hello Pablo

Thank you
I ordered you a croqueta

No, thank you
Not right now

- But you love croquetas
- No, it's fine

I'm just trying to stay away
from fried food. You know...

- Really?
- Would you like

- another mojito miss?
- No, I'm still good with this one

Thank you

- Are you sure?
- Yes I'm fine, thank you

- Can I get you a drink sir?
- Nothing, thank you

- No?
- I do not want

- Your sure Sir?
- Sure? Super sure!

Well, we have different specials
tonight of wines and beers

- Water, only water please
- Water?

- You were saying...
- With lime Sir?

- With lime?
- Yes! Lime!

- Yes, with line is fine. Whatever
- So I was...

Well yes it is very important, if
you want lime, I will put lime!

With lime!

- At your service Sir!
- Thank you

You were saying?

You were a little rude
Don't you think?

I'm sorry, I'll apologize
to Pedro when he comes back

- Pablo
- Okay, Pablo, Pedro, whatever

I'll apologize, okay?

I was going to say that I know that
you're trying to be a better person

but from what I just saw
I don't think that still stands

I promise, I will apologize to him
I promise. Tell Pedro that I'm sorry

- What were you saying? Okay
- Pablo

He's just trying
to do his job, Eddie

Yes. And I'm trying to do mine
you know?

I'm trying to be a good father

Trying to be a good husband

I have something lined up
that is really good

- that I'm working really hard on
- What is it?

Your water sir... with lime

Well tonight we have
different specials!

Here we have shrimp
fishes, octopus

All the different kinds of seafood!
Well, what about the specials, Sir?

What's wrong? Eddie?

- Hi, Eddie
- Hi, Eddie

What are you guys doing
in my fridge?

You know, just chilling

Because that's what
refrigerators do... Chill

Looks a little sad
Don't you think, Slippy?

He does Dippy. What's wrong
Eddie? Dinner didn't go well?

It didn't go at all. Now
Clara hates me more than ever

Well, then you need
to be cheered up

And I have just the thing
Here, have some pie

- I would rather die
- You're still a swell guy

We should totally be rappers

I already am. I wrap toys
at the workshop all the time

That is... Guys
Guys, listen to me

At first, it seemed to be okay
but now it's getting out of...

I think... I think you have
a little right there, right...

No, no, right there

You got a little... I'm sorry
Were you saying something?

Hey, listen, I don't want to...

Do you want to know what
happens to the man

that turns down the role of Santa?
Do you? Do you? Do you?

Well, first he's dismembered
limb by limb by Santa's army

of ravenous polar bears
Then his friends are eaten too

His family. His daughters. His wife
Do you want that, Eddie?

Do you? No?
Didn't think so

No, he's just kidding about that

Polar bears really eat your family?

No, come on. It's Santa
Jolly old guy?

He's not going to let polar bears
eat everyone in our family

It would just be you, Eddie
It would only eat you

Wait, wait, no, no
She's just kidding. Relax

Or am I? Eddie, no, wait!

''As Santa''

''You'll experience various
elements throughout your journey''

''including but not limited to...''

- How's it going, boss?
- Well, Matilda, you know what?

Eddie is doing as well
as I expect for such a screw-up

And the two elves are certainly
helping him with that

Well, that's good, right?

Good? I need great
I need great

I need to guarantee that he's
not going to be the next Santa

How can you do that?

Silent Simon

Silent Simon? No, boss!
No! You can't

That's a big mistake
Boss... Boss, wait

Boss you can't
Boss, Simon is unstable

He's uncontrollable, unhinged

and any other "un" word
you can think of

- Boss he's just too dangerous
- That is exactly why I need him

This just doesn't really feel like
one of your most clever ideas

Maybe we can go back to the

What do you say?
You're a very clever man

You think we should abort this
mission ASAP, don't you think?

Let's just go back. Boss, this
really isn't a good... idea

Boss please

Well, hello, Simon

Hi! This way

Hey, where did you go?

Slippy, Dippy?

- Hi, Eddie!
- Hi, Eddie!

God, you're going to give me
a heart attack

then you're not going to have
a Santa anymore

It's all part of your training

Santa can't be scared, startled
or caught off guard

Need to toughen up, okay?

What are we doing here?

Tonight is a very important
training session

Tomorrow night is Christmas Eve

so you need to learn how to sneak
into homes and leave presents

as quietly as you can
without getting caught

Santa doesn't sneak in
He's Santa Claus

Well, how does he get in?

I don't know
Through the chimney

What if the house
doesn't have a chimney?

- He poofs right in
- Poofs in?

Yes, he poofs in
There he is, Santa Claus

- You have so much to learn
- Okay

So for today's lesson, you're going
to go and leave some presents

in the home as quietly as you can

Okay. What else?

I already sprung the lock for you
since you're new

and today's your first session

When you're Santa, you'll
be able to open up any lock

on any door whenever you want

Okay. Can't be too hard
Let us go, Let us do this

I'm ready

- Look, there's somebody here
- Of course

What kind of lesson
on silence would this be

if there wasn't anybody there
to hear you?

This is not a training session
This is breaking and entering

Did we break anything?

I am leaving

Why are you guys

You're not leaving
You're not leaving till you deliver

those presents to that tree

I'm not going to jail
because of the two of you

Then don't get caught

- Don't make a sound
- Shut up

- Guys, guys
- What?

It is Silent Simon

Who the heck is "Simon" Simon?

He's the exact opposite
of what an elf should be

- Unloving, unhappy, bad
- Selfish, greedy, miserable

- Ornery, irritable, grumpy
- Sullen, uptight, bitter

Yes, I get it. He's cranky

- I think he hears you
- No. He's smiling!

- Is that a good thing?
- It's a very, very bad thing

Dada! Dada! Dada

Dada, I love you!

- How do we beat this guy?
- We can't


He's unbeatable, guys

He's unstoppable

Eddie it was nice knowing you
And Dippy, it's been an honor

My friends!

Get off me

Hey! Come out
with your hands up!

We're alive. We're alive
We're alive!


Hey! Freeze!

I can explain everything

Thank God you guys showed up

because we had a rogue elf

- that would have killed us. Yes
- Rogue elf?

Not just a rogue elf, the worst elf
you could possibly imagine

The worst of the worst

I don't know what you guys are on
but it certainly sounds special

- I would like to think so
- Mind your head

Are we going to go for a ride?

Head, please

- Surprise!
- Listen, I was training

to be Santa
I'm not supposed to be here

So I need to get out
as soon as possible

Nobody's supposed to be here
You'll have fun. It's good training

This is fun!

Look, I'm a felon
because of you two

- Thank you
- You're welcome

Guess you're still working
on that sarcasm thing?

Well, it's always polite to respond
with "you are welcome"

When someone says "thanks"

All right, can we get
out of here, please?

Can you do any of those elf things
and just poof us out of here?

Given the circumstances

I'm going to forget that you just
asked about poofing again

they took our candy canes

Do you think
they'll give them back?

The bigger question here is
how did Silent Simon get out?

Who let him out of the Cage?

- The Cage?
- Given that you're going to be

the next Santa
you should probably know

Know what?

Long ago...

Long ago, during
the reign of the first Santa...

''He had the idea
to create the perfect elf'

''He wanted one that would
never tire of making toys''

''Wouldn't ever lose
the Christmas spirit''

''And most importantly, they
could do double the work''

''in half the time''

''But somewhere along the way...
things went terribly wrong''

''And Silent Simon was born''

''It was like everything Santa
wanted the elf to be...''

''Except the opposite''

''He was better, stronger
and faster than the other elves''

''But he lacked all
Christmas spirit, joy and fun''

- Like a bizarro elf?
- Yes. Yes, Eddie

You could say that

Santa tried working with him
to put him on the right path

But things just
continued to get worse

''Something had to be done''

''It took Santa and 12 other elves
to take him down''

''They put him in an inescapable
prison under the ice''

''We call it the Cage''

''And that's where
Silent Simon has been''

''Locked away, where
he can't hurt anyone''

But as far as I know
only Santa has access to the Cage

Santa would never let Silent Simon
out. Something smells fishy

You think something's going
down in the North Pole?

No, no, no, something
actually smells fishy

I think it's him

It's him

How is it possible that
the worst elf ever created

got his butt kicked by two moron
elves and one slacker janitor?

Well, he didn't get his butt kicked

In fact, he was about to finish
the job when the cops showed up

Silent Simon had to get
out of there

Like that makes it any better
Where is he now?

Off the grid

One thing I have learned, if
you want things done right

You got to do it yourself, You know
what? Pack your bags, Matilda

- Where are we going?
- Miami

Hey, Garcia
Come on, man. You're up

Honey, thank you for coming
I'm sorry I had to call you

I don't want more explanations!

This was that something big
you were working on?

- Becoming a thief?
- No

this is a mistake. It's their fault
I had nothing to do with it

What's this? Yes, the divorce
papers? You want to do this now?

And I'm going to file for full custody

Please Clara! Not her, not now!

Hold on, hold on, you got
to get processed out first

Come on, you can't break
the rules once in a while?

- No, no, I can't
- Not even once?

Get your property

Done? We are good?
We are done, we are good

Hi, Eddie! Didn't jump. Well done
You ready to get to work?

We've got a great session
for you today

I'm done. Forget it

What? You can't be done
You didn't even start

Listen, I'm done with you guys
I am done with the Santa thing

I am done

This about last night?

You know
We're sorry about that

You're sorry? That's all you're
going to say, is that you're sorry?

We are really sorry?

This is not worth it

Wait, Eddie, no
You can't just quit

Eddie, tonight's the big night

You must be Gabby, no?

''Gabby! I told you not to open
the door for anybody!''

How do you know?

Can I help you?

Yes, you may

I thought I made myself clear

We know

We just wanted to deliver
your Christmas gift before we left

You know what I want
for Christmas?

My life back

Must have been a good one

Yes, it was!
Now, get out!

Okay. I'm just going to leave
these out here

Take care, Eddie

Yes. See you, Eddie
Merry Christmas

''Something is
happening, guys''

- What's going on?
- ''Give me that''

- ''Listen up, Sleepy and Dopey''
- It's Dippy

''Shut up. If Eddie ever wants
to see his family again...''

''He would better not even think
about flying that sleigh tonight''

- Eddie! Open up, Eddie!
- Eddie! Eddie!

- ''Eddie!''
- ''Eddie, open up!''


Stand back

Are you guys nuts?

- Eddie
- ''Well, hello, Eddie''

- ''Daddy!''
- Gabby?

''And we're back at Watsco Center
at the University of Miami''

''for a special Christmas exhibition
basketball game''

Hello, U Nation. Welcome back
and this goes out to all of you

who were unable to make it home
this Christmas


Between the three of us
we'll find them

Are you sure about that?


They love me
Look at this

Hey, I hope those two elves
are nicer than the last ones

Wait, what did you say?

The two elves, they're definitely
on the naughty list man

They do a good dance

- Where did you see me?
- What?

- Where did you see me?
- What?

- Where did you see me?
- In the laundry room

Come on, guys

Hey, Eddie, I am onto you, man!
Those girls are nuts!

It's the same old Eddie
Hey, I need those elves

Eddie? Eddie?

- Well, hello, Eddie
- Who is this guy?

Is that my clone?
Do I actually look like that?

Eddie, I love your job
Hey, you guys

Shut up, clone

Now you two listen up
Drop the candy, or the lady gets it

Come on, do it. Do what he
says, please. Go, come on

Now kick it over

All right, listen
Just let them go now, okay?

No. They are going
to stay here till midnight

Till you forfeit
your chance of being Santa


You did not tell her?

Mrs. Garcia your husband over
here had a chance

at being Santa Claus

That's not going to happen
because that's my job

You will never be Santa

No, Slippy?

You know what happens
if the chosen Santa

- can not fulfill his duties?
- Christmas is canceled?

- No, dummy
- It's Dippy

What happens is that a
temporary Santa is appointed

And you know who that temporary
Santa might be?

Who? The Easter Bunny

Me. The head elf

But that will never happen
because the selected Santa

is picked from the best of the best
That's why you weren't chosen

And you think he is?
Santa didn't choose him

I chose Eddie. He's not Santa
material. He's lazy

Unworthy, unmotivated


In his file, it says, "worst possible
candidate in the world"

In the whole world

He is right. I am a quitter
and I already quit. Ask them

- It is true he quit this morning
- Excellent

So now let them go

I can't do that

Why? You got what you want
Let them go

No. If I let them go, you could
just turn around an un-quit

And I need my little
insurance policy back there

So we are all going to just sit here
nice and cozy, until it is too late

So we are just going to
wait here until midnight?


It is going to get awfully boring

- Shut up, Dopey
- It's Dippy!

But wait. If Eddie
does not become Santa Claus

we're not going to have
Christmas, you guys

What do you care?
You're not even real

But he smells really nice
Just like the workshop

Knock it off

Let us go. Come on

Come here. Watch her
I will go get her

Gabby! Gabby!

Let's go. Let's go

- Daddy!
- Come on

- No! Daddy!
- Go in there. Go in there

Daddy! Dad!

''Ladies and gentlemen''

''Welcome to this special
Christmas Eve exhibition game''

''between the Miami Hurricanes

''And there is a man on the floor''

I'm so sorry I put you guys through
this. Thank God you are okay

It's not over yet
Nothing has changed

Tick-tock. Tick-tock

I am sorry, I am going
to have to go somewhere

- Go? Where?
- The North Pole

- Really?
- Yes, I can't let him be Santa

So this was the big project you
have been working on? Santa?

I will tell you all about it

I will wait up for you

All right, hold on
One, two... three!

Can we go any faster?
Can we just poof there?

What is up with you
and all this poofing?

Yes, stop it with the poofing
We don't just poof places

Get the presents packed up
Get the reindeer hooked up

We got five minutes
Get that sleigh ready. Come on

I think we are going to make it!

- Eddie?
- Eddie?

Wait, it is right here. We got
to go. Where are you going?

In order to fly Santa's sleigh
you have to look the part. Go


It is okay. Just remember
your training... Santa

Jeez Eddie!
A little notice next time

Hello, Eddie

- Santa!
- Santa!


- Dad?
- Dad?

- All this time?
- Well, at least

for the past 30 years
That is why I was not around

Because you were Santa
Why didn't you tell me?

I thought you didn't want
to be around me anymore

No, No, No, my son!
That was not the reason!

Rules are rules
I can not tell anyone

I am sorry I was away
all the time, Eddie

Forgive me son!

Wait. Dad, you are
the one who recruited me

Well, in a sense. I knew Bruno
was up to something

I knew he would not let the perfect
candidate be trained for Santa

So when he started looking
for the worst of the worst

I made sure your name
would come up

Thanks, Dad


They grow up so fast

I am proud of you, son

Bruno tried to set you up
but you came out on top

He thought he was sending two
incompetent elves to train you

but he did not count on
their Christmas spirit


- Was that a compliment?
- I am not sure


I don't want to break up
the moment, guys, but...

Okay, we got two minutes to get
you on that... the-the-the... Sir

- Let us go
- Right. Let us go

I will help you. Come on

Come on, out of the way

Since Bruno's gone, I'm going to
stick around for a couple of months

to show you the ropes
until you settle in

Wait, Dad
You are going to leave me again?

I'll be back, I promise

But after 30 years on the job
Santa needs some time off

- They are all yours
- Tick-tock, Eddie

Wait, does that mean that
I'm not going to be spending

any Christmas with Gabby
just like you did with me?

That is part of the job

I can't let that happen
I don't want her to grow up like that

I understand why you did it and I
forgive you for it, but I can't...

If you don't leave in one minute
Bruno will be the next Santa

You have to think
of all the children in the world

- not just your own, Eddie
- She will understand, Eddie

Just like you're understanding now

But I can't change that, or bring
those memories back into my life

or Gabby's life

Santa cannot be in two places
at the same time

Yes, I know, I can't be in two
places at the same time

- Yes?
- Thirty seconds

Besides, those are the rules

All right

He's doing it!

I hate rules, Dad

How do you
get this thing going anyway?

On, Dasher!
On, Dancer! On Prancer!

Bye, Eddie!
Remember your training

I got to work on that

- Daddy!
- Hey, honey Quiet, honey

What are you doing here?

I came here because
I have something to tell you

Be quiet, because we don't
want to wake up mommy, okay?

- Okay
- Listen, I...

I want to tell you something
that I am really sorry

Really sorry that you are
in the middle of the problem

- between Mommy and I
- It's okay

No, no, just listen to me, please

I want you to know
that I am sorry for everything

I am sorry that me and your
mommy put you through all this

That you've been like in the center
of our problems, and I don't...

- Dad, I know...
- Listen to me

I love you more than anything
You know that, right?

And... And... And I should have
been there for you, and I wasn't

And I want you to know that
I will always be there for you

no matter what

You know, I'll never, ever miss
a Christmas with you, I promise

So you're not going to be
Santa anymore?

No. No, I am but...

You see Santa Claus is nothing
without his helpers

And I'm here to ask you
if you want to help me out

and come on the sleigh tonight
and, say for the next 30 years?

- I love you!
- I love you, baby

Now, let's get you a coat, okay?
It's going to be pretty cold

- Okay
- Okay, come on, honey

Freeze! Don't move!

What, this again? I'm Santa
Claus, for crying out loud

Yes, for sure, buddy

Like we haven't
heard that one before

I think he bought it

Slippy and Dippy

- Yes and you are late!
- What?

You should have been in Africa...
15 minutes ago


Well, you can't talk to me that way
because I'm Santa Claus now

Can't talk to me that...

Sir, you can not talk to me that way
because I am Santa Claus, sir

- That is what I thought
- He gets really

into the role of drill sergeant

- Now, let us move it, people!
- So, how is it going, Santa?

I'm sure he's doing fine. We got
to go! Move it, move it, move it!

Hey, let's sing a song

''Eddie the sucky Santa
had a very sucky life''

''Then he met Dippy and Slippy
now he is doing all right''