Santa in Training (2019) - full transcript
A little known secret is that every 30 years a new Santa Claus is chosen to replace present Santa. So what could go wrong when two eccentric elves are sent to bring back and train a man who says he hates Christmas? Just about everything.
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{\fnArial\3c&HFFFFFF&\1c&FF0000&\fs20\b1\an0} Edit sync By : D.LUFFY
Eddie, you should be in bed
Remember, if you are not asleep
Santa will not come over
Do you think he will
come this year, mom?
- Of course he will, Santa always...
- No. No Santa, Dad
Do you think he will come?
Eddie
I've been good during the year
And if you've been really good
then Santa brings you
everything you want. Right?
That's the rule
And if it is a rule
then he has got to do it. Right?
Well, yes, but...
All I ask is for Dad to show up
That's all
Eddie, your father
He's... Well...
- I didn't ask for anything else
- I know, I know
Come, lay down
and try to rest a bit, okay?
Santa can do anything
Merry Christmas, Eddie
Mario?
Should have come
to the Christmas party
Christmas party?
It's December 1st
We just had Thanksgiving
It's better an early Christmas
party than no Christmas party
No one wants a janitor
at their party
It does not hurt to be social
The only reason why people
want me is to clean!
They are filthy animals
Yes, and those same people let
you get away with certain things
- Things? Like what?
- Breaking the rules
- What rules?
- Sleeping on the job
There are guidelines, Mario
In the real world
there is guidelines, not rules
Besides, I am not going
to be doing this forever
Well, with that attitude
you can count on it
Well, I got to go, because I have to
clean up a stupid Christmas party
- Remember?
- Come on! Merry Christmas Eddie
It is December 1st
Forget about Christmas
You are such a grinch
''On the first day of Christmas
my employer gave to me''
''complete and utter... misery''
I will do it later
- Santa?
- Hey, Bruno
How are things going?
Everything is on track, sir
Everything will be ready
to go for Christmas Eve
- Good
- Hey Bruno
Santa, I have got
that hot chocolate for you
Extra marshmallows
just like you like it
- Thank you, Paula
- Speaking...
Say Paula, what do you want
for Christmas this year?
I would really like a new set of tools
You know, to build toys with
But do not get me wrong
I really like the ones I have now
So it is okay if I do not get them
I would also explode
with peppermint
for a charitable donation
to the children's shelter
Slow down, child. Slow down
Let me have the list
I will look it over later
Jeez!
Thank you so much Santa!
- Speaking of...
- Isn't she the best?
Yes. Yes, sir. She is... She
is my favorite. No doubt about it
Speaking about Christmas Eve
This is the year
What? What are you talking about?
Yes, yes
I have been having such
a hard time narrowing down
the list of candidates for Santa
- But...
- But
- I think I have a winner
- Really?
Somebody that is kind
courteous
- friendly, organized
- Of course
Somebody that I have been
watching for a long time
and I am certain he can take over
my operation and fill in my boots
- Santa
- Someone that I know
- You read my...
- Liam Mueller
This is the winner right here
Liam
Bruno, Bruno...
Your resume is great
But it's lacking one thing
World knowledge
Santa needs to know people
You have lived here
in the North Pole your whole life
- I see
- Besides...
who is going to run
my operation? I need my head elf
- Santa, I...
- ''Let me take your scarf''
- I understand
- Great
I knew you would understand
So, I can trust you with this?
Yes, Santa. I will put
my best elf on training detail
Great
Thank you, Bruno
Hey, Bruno?
''Sorry, what is it like to be
the head elf? I bet it is great''
''All that time you get
to spend with Santa''
''Would not it be great
to be Santa one day?''
''I am just hoping that one day
I can have your job''
''After you retire, of course''
''You must be the happiest elf
in the Pole. Will you still be...?''
Pass me over for a promotion
This was supposed to be my year
Bearded, cookie-eating...
You want a new Santa?
I will get you a new Santa
Just who I need
This is too perfect
Goodbye, Liam Mueller
Hello, Eddie Garcia
Merry Christmas to me
Now for the final touch
Just what I need
Slippy
Dippy, to my office now
- Slippy reporting for duty, sir
- Dippy reporting for duty, sir
I have an assignment for you guys
I need you to train the new Santa
- Train the new Santa?
- But sir, you always do that
Well, I am actually handing
this to you guys right now
You guys have been
the best elves this year
- Do you think you can do it?
- Yes, sir
It would be an honor, sir
- We won't let you down
- We won't let you down
Hey! Come here, baby
My little astronaut
You look great
Look at you. I love it
We have some fun stuff
for you today
We got ponies, we got Ferris
wheels, we got candy
We got everything
I can't tell you everything, okay?
Just what I need!?
Clara, my world, we have a visitor
Your Ex is here
- Hi Mom
- Hi
Hi, Clara
Oh my God!
Eddie, I am so sorry
- About what?
- It's my parents' anniversary
So Gabby and I are on our way
to go have a dinner
Hold on a second
We talked about it last week
- She was going to come with me
- I know
I know, I got the days mixed up
Listen I can call tomorrow
I can reschedule tomorrow. Okay?
It's just, I really...
I really have to go
Why are they even celebrating?
They hate each other
- You are crazy! Crazy!
- Stop! I'm the crazy one?
Mom, can I please
please stay with Daddy?
See? She wants to go with me
You hear that?
Clara, let her go with her father
Anyways, after all it's only my
wedding anniversary today
- This is why
- Mommy, can you please
take Gabby
and go wait in the car?
- I am sorry, Dad
- I am sorry too, baby
Hey, look, I am really sorry, but it
just can not happen today. Okay?
Why do not you let me back
into the house
so I do not have to deal with
these kinds of issues ever again?
You have only been out
of the house a month
and you are whining
like it has been an eternity
It is an eternity
It feels like that
But you know what?
She is my daughter, too. Right?
If you want me to consider that you
have to put a little bit of more effort
to prove to me that
you are ready for that
A little effort?
I'm here, I'm trying
Honey, that was never the issue
I got to go
Wait a second, why are you getting
your way all the time? Why?
It's not my way, Eddie
Sometimes things come up
and you have to be a little bit
more understanding
I mean you forced me for years
to be understanding
- so I guess now it is your turn!
- Understanding?
I'm understanding that my
daughter would rather spend time
with her father
That I understand
You know what?
If I'm not going to get her today
because obviously I'm not
then I'll pick her up on Monday
after school
I'll get her on Monday afternoon
okay?
- Yes, sure, fine
- What?
Fine!
This will be great
- Hi, Eddie
- Hey!
What do you want? Stay back
Stay back
What do you want?
What do you want?
Hi, Eddie
Look, take whatever you want
Just do not hurt me, okay?
What could we
possibly want in here?
And besides, if we took anything
we would be put
on the naughty list for sure
- Naughty list?
- Yes
Well, we do not want
to get on Santa's bad side
Mario
This is Mario's idea
Hey! Mario, where are you?
You had something to do with this
Eddie, this isn't a prank
We're actually two of Santa's elves
- I'm Slippy
- And I'm Dippy
Yes, Slip and Dippy my butt
Hey! Mario, where are you?
- Should we show him?
- I think we're going to have to
Listen I'm going to find out it's you
You're done with me you get it?
Where you at?
I know this is a prank
What?
And now for our final trick...
Is something
supposed to happen?
Yes, the polar bear
might have been too much
''But I didn't ask for anything else''
I know, come, let us try
to sleep a little, okay?
- Hi, Eddie!
- Hey, Eddie Spaghetti!
Have you been
a naughty boy this year?
He's been naughty
You're a naughty little boy
Eddie, I love your
Christmas pajamas!
Eddie!
I thought it was a dream
What the hell is going on?
- We are elves, Eddie
- And we are here to tell you that...
You're going to be
the next Santa Claus!
- Being Santa is a dream
- I wish I was Santa
Look, Eddie, we understand
that this is a lot to process
- Just hear us out
- And if I do that, you'll go away?
Probably not
So there is a little-known secret
that every 30 years or so
a new Santa Claus is chosen
And this year, that is you
Elves, okay
So let us say I wanted to be
Santa Claus, which I don't
because I don't believe in Santa
Claus and I couldn't do it anyway
- Why not?
- Because...
I am Latino, and Santa is white
Silly. Santa has no race
color or gender
Throughout history
there have been Santas
from all over the world
Yes, we have
had Jamaican Santas
''Chinese Santas
Indian Santas''
''Scottish Santa''
Heck!
We even had a Jewish Santa
You name it
and we have had one
- Mind-blowing
- Remember the alien Santa?
That was my favorite!
Really, I mean, why me?
I don't even like Christmas
Blasphemy! Don't you ever say
you don't like Christmas
- Fine, But why me?
- We are elves, Eddie
It's a little bit above our pay grade
to be questioning those decisions
- You were chosen, so you're it
- We got to get started soon
because we have a lot to do
and not much time to do it
in order to get you ready
for Christmas Eve!
Yes. So we're going to need you
to sign all these papers and...
Look... I can't do this. I have a job
A family. You understand?
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
Do not think we would
have thought of that
Come on, we got you covered
We made a clone to take
your place while you train!
- A clone?
- Yes
You guys can do that?
Jeez! Eddie, we just made a polar
bear appear in your living room
Now you're questioning
our clone-making abilities?
It's true
So, let me get this straight
You have a clone who is going
to go and do everything for me
and I don't have to show up
at the arena at all?
You won't have time
You'll be training
Sign those papers
and be at this address
tomorrow morning at 8:00 AM
- 8:00 AM sharp!
- You got it
Good morning, Eddie
How was the weekend?
Hey, how are you, Mario?
Come here, good day friend
Looking good
- Are you okay, Eddie?
- Yes, fantastic
- You smell gingerbread?
- Must be my facial cream
Merry Christmas
8:05
Well, give him a little lead-in
Maybe he's stuck in traffic
No, no, no, no, no
That's it. Time's up
Fine
- What the heck?
- Top of the morning Eddie
Hi, Eddie
- Did you sleep well?
- You look good. Well rested
Well, we got a super exciting day
for you planned
Are you ready, Eddie?
That rhymes. "Ready, Eddie"
- Shut up
- All right, Eddie come on
It's going to be so much fun!
You excited? I am excited
Are you excited?
It's going to be a fun day
I'm so excited
I'm excited, she's excited, you're
excited We're all excited. Let's go
So much excitement in the air
You going to leave the bed
like that?
- Yes
- Yes
- How about some cup of coffee?
- You want some coffee?
- Yes
- I'll get you some coffee
- What did you want?
- Just coffee
I hear that's French
Hey, how about that cup
of coffee?
Where did you go?
- Hello?
- ''You're late, late, late''
Yes, I know
I'm sorry about that
''You're going to be...
going to be, going to be''
When we tell you to be somewhere
at 8:00 a.m you be there at 8 a.m.!
- Are we clear?
- Yes
- What was that?
- I said, yes
The only two words I want to hear
out of your mouth is, "Sir, yes sir"
- Do you understand me?
- That's three words
- Sir, yes, sir!
- I can't hear you
- Sir, yes, sir
- I still can't hear you
- Sir yes sir!
- I can't!
It's your first day!
I'm so excited!
Today, we will be working
on strength and conditioning
As Santa, you have to go through
a bunch of rigorous activities
- that includes...
- He gets it
Now, get your butt started
Come on, move it
Are you ready for Santa's winter
wonder-hell course?
No
Good. Now, go, go, go, go, go!
Come on! Let's go! Go, go, go, go!
- Eddie, go, go, go, go, go!
- Go, go, go, go!
- Eddie!
- Santa doesn't take breaks
Hey, hey! hey!
Santa doesn't take breaks!
Eddie faster, faster, faster!
Go, go, go!
Eddie, grab the sack
Grab, grab, grab the sack
Put it...grab the sack Eddie
Over, Eddie
Positive attitude, Eddie!
Positive attitude! Go, Eddie, go!
Go, go, go. Let's go. Here we go
Keep on running back
Come on you can do it. No, you
can't. Yes you can. Come on
There's lots of Santas
to take your place
Come on Eddie Son of
a nutcracker this guy is slow
- Come on!
- Go, go, go
Get your nose out there
Get your nose out there
Watch out for the naughty children
They're not that naughty, Eddie
Don't worry
No, they're naughty
No, no they're very, very naughty
''Naughty or nice, Eddie?''
''Naughty or nice?''
''Eddie...''
- Come on, Eddie!
- Get off me
Slippy, Dippy
Don't make me go...
You're evil kids
Hey! Get off! Get off me!
Faster, faster, faster, Eddie
Do I see slacking?
Do I see slacking?
Push! Push! Push! Push! Push!
Push! Push!
Come on, Eddie
Come on, come on, come on
Come on Eddie
Come on, Eddie
Go, Eddie, go!
Go, Eddie, go!
Breathe, Eddie! Breathe!
Breathe! Breathe!
Santa doesn't fall
Santa does not fall
Eddie!
Come on, Eddie!
Come on, Eddie!
You got a long...
Move it! Move it!
Move it!
Come on! Come on!
That was... pathetic
Eddie, you are so pathetic
You're so pathetic, Eddie
You're so pathetic
He's so cute
Look, he's so cute
He looks so cute
Eddie, what happened?
- What happened?
- You passed out
- It was sad
- You know, you do that a lot
- What time is it?
- It's past 3:00 already
I got to go pick up Gabby
Late again. That is not going
to look good on the old resume
See you here tomorrow!
That is funny, Eddie
You want to know why?
Because when I had to leave work
early to pick up Gabby
after you said you would
I wasn't stuck in traffic
because there wasn't any!
Yes, you should be!
That is obvious!
You know, it's one thing to always
keep me waiting, but now Gabby?
Eddie, I had to leave work early
which means I didn't get to do it
so now I have to finish it at home
No, do not come here
Absolutely not
And then I have to wonder when
you're going to bring her home
I don't think so. I've been just as
understanding as you have been
- Mom, please
- No!
My God!
"If you're going to be Santa Claus
you need to live like Santa Claus"
"Love, Slippy and Dippy"
- Eddie!
- Hello
- Eddie! Put it there bro!
- Let us do it!
- My man Eddie G
- Hey
You guys notice anything
different about Eddie lately?
Only that he's super awesome now
He used to be all broody
and cranky
Now he's super fun
- And he smells delicious
- Delicious?
Like fresh-baked cakes
and cookies
Jenny in Accounting said
she gave him a kiss on the cheek
the other day because
he helped her out with something
and not only did he smell like
cookies, he tasted like them too
What are you guys talking about?
Jeez! I just want to go over there
and lick his face
Am I the only one that notices
his skin looks like a lizard?
Don't be such a hater. It's the
new skin care products he's using
You should be ashamed
for yourself
for judging what's on the outside
instead of what's on the inside
Let's go
Rude
- Hi, Eddie
- Hello there
- ''So good to see you''
- ''Yes, of course''
''It's Christmas time''
- Hi, Eddie
- What is wrong with you two?
Nothing that I can see. Everything
seems to be in order
Why?
Do you see something wrong?
Have you ever heard
of knocking?
Why, yes, of course
Knocking
Maybe you should try it
out sometime
before popping up
while I'm taking my bath
But if we knocked
then you wouldn't be surprised
Exactly
What do you want?
- It's time for your training
- Now?
- What other time is there?
- I am taking my bath
He's taking a bath
No, no! Don't do it
Fine, fine, I'll do it. I'll do it
Okay, so let's go!
Go, go, go! Come on!
He's not moving
Why isn't he moving?
Could I have
some privacy, please?
- Why?
- Because I am naked
Fine
We're going to make a note
of this on your report
"Late because naked"
Good
There you are. Take a seat
- During your first week of training
- Which you were pathetic at
- Thanks
- You're welcome
During your first week of training
You dealt with some of the physical
challenges Santa has to face
Now that we're
in our second week...
We're going to have to step it up
because there's only
ten days left till Christmas
I'm sorry
I'm not sorry
Now that we're in our second week
you will not only have to handle
more physical challenges
but mental challenges as well
"What is the circumference
of the earth?"
"How many square feet
is the continent of Africa?"
That is easy
"Where would you find the most
remote islands on earth?"
How would I know
any of this?
You should know
because Santa needs to know
- Yes
- Why would I have to know
the square footage
of the continent of Africa?
Because you do
Now, you have one hour
to complete this examination
- Pencils ready
- I don't have a pencil
Begin
Pencils down
- No, no, it is all right
- What?
It is wrong
P-minus?
That is not even a real grade
No, Eddie
Yes, yes, it is. P, for "Pathetic"
Eddie!
What?
Make sure you memorize
all that for next time
Wednesday, warehouse
3:00 p.m. sharp
Wednesday?
Hey boss. Got those naughty
list papers for you to sign
Just... Just leave them there
Hey, shouldn't you be
on Santa training detail?
We're sorry you got passed over
for a promotion, by the way
I think you would have
made a great Santa
Yes, so do I. I would take this
organization to where it should be
No more free rides for kids
So, okay, so you've been
a spoiled brat this whole year
You take out the garbage once...
Once and you're on the nice list?
- Not on my watch
- I hear you, boss
These Santas have ruined
Christmas
If I was the boss, I would stick
coal in every kid's stockings
It's going to happen
Soon enough
In another 30 years, maybe?
- Maybe not
- That's it?
You're just going to leave me
hanging like that?
Well, Matilda, I can't reveal
all my secrets
Everything will be told in due time
- Hey, honey
- Daddy!
How are you baby?
- No traffic today?
- So good to see you
No
Thanks for doing this, okay?
She wouldn't stop
pestering me, so...
Here we go
I am going to talk
to your mom, okay?
Where do they get
all the energy from?
What?
No, she just loves being with you
And you're so good with her
You know why? Because
we're the same age up here
Finally, something we both
can agree on
- You think you're attractive?
- I guess
Two things we agree on
See?
Look, I just wanted to talk
to you about something
and now it might not be
the right time, but... Look
I know this is not
the life you planned
- Eddie
- No, I...
I think we should work it out. We
should do it for Gabby, you know?
I do hate seeing her upset
all the time
Her not really understanding why
you're not living with us anymore
I don't understand why
I'm not living there anymore
- Eddie
- I'm just kidding
I know
Believe me, I know
You know, you got a big heart
and you're funny
And you can be anything
that you want to be, but...
- But what?
- No buts
I just don't want Gabby to grow up
without a father, like I did
I don't want her to do that
- How about we have dinner?
- Really?
Yes. Yes. We'll sit and we'll talk
and we'll hash everything out
No judgments, no getting angry
at each other. Just talking
All right, but I think we're going to
have to call your mom to referee
No, just you and I
- How about we go to Claro's?
- Our Claro's?
- The one and only
- Okay. I could swing that
So are you going... Are you going
to let me know when?
- Okay
- When?
I don't know
I have to check my schedule
- You're going to call me?
- Yes, I'm going to call you
You're going to pick up
the phone and call me, right?
Yes, jeez, don't make a big
deal out of it. It's just dinner
Daddy, look what I got
How come I don't get
one of those?
Maybe you'll get one for Christmas
who knows?
Maybe you're right
It's time to go honey
Come on
Hey, give me a hug
- I love you with all my heart
- I love you more
- Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
- Hi
- Hi. Come on in
- Can I clean anything?
No, no, no
Not this time, please
Of course. Thank you
Hi, everybody. Hello
So lately, we have all noticed
what a great job
you have done around the office
Yes, I love working
for you guys
- We can tell
- Good
And, as a way of thanking you...
we wanted to promote you
to head of janitorial services
Yes! Thank you so much
That's so unexpected. Wonderful
So the job comes with a pay raise
You'll be in a managerial position
And with that, you'll have
several staff members under you
Wonderful
Like the boss?
- Like I'm a boss?
- Yes. Yes
Wait, I have to keep
cleaning the toilets
I really love cleaning your toilets
I really do. Can I do that?
- Sure. Yes
- Great! Great
And you'll attend weekly staff
meetings and do payroll
Stuff like that but we can
talk about all of that in private
- Anytime
- Later
So in the meantime
Congratulations
Thank you so much
Thank you guys
Thank you. Wonderful
I'm sorry
I'm just going to...
Is there anything
that you want to say?
Yes, of course
I would love to say
that I love each
and every one of you dearly
And I have been here
a long time, haven't I?
Yes, I have, right?
Good
And I want to say that I love
taking out your trash
and I love cleaning your toilets
because they are so clogged up
And you guys do a great job
of doing that. And I love you for it
So thank you very much. Take
some candy. And for you as well
Please share with everyone
And anything you need from me
just call me
Love you guys
Merry Christmas
You guys, he smells amazing
Hi. I knew you would call
Yes, yes well, you told me
you were going to call
Tonight? No...yes! Yes tonight
is great. Tonight is great
You got it, 8:00
I'll be there. Bye
Slippy and Dippy, please
Don't jump out at me, okay?
- Hi Eddie!
- Hi Eddie!
Why do you do that all the time?
It keeps you on your toes
You're going to love
today's training
It's the cookies and milk portion
Now you're talking
Food, yes!
As Santa, every home you visit
will be leaving you a special treat
as a way of saying thank you
And now we'll eat this treat as a
way of saying, "You're welcome"
So on the count of three
you're going to eat
as many cookies as you can
as fast as you can
and you're going to guzzle milk
as fast as you can till I say to stop
Okay, go
One, two, three. Okay, continue
Yes, come on
- Good
- Yes, yes, yes Okay
Chug, chug chug, chug, chug
chug, chug chug, nice!
They used to tell me
that all the time in college
Go, come on. We want a fat Santa
Do you want a fat Santa?
We want a fat Santa
Come on, eat the cookies
Running out of time
Two at a time. Double-fisted
There you go. Nice. Continue
- Cookies very healthy
- Come on, come on
This should be all
- All done?
- All done
- Well, I think you did a good job
- Did an amazing job
I mean, I thought for a moment
I was not going to enjoy it
but I love my milk and cookies
That's good. That's good
Because you're not done yet
You sorry excuse
for the next Santa!
Turn around!
Yes. Go. Come on
Get chewing, let us go. Here
we go, come on, come on...
You guys are the best
Take a cookie, Yes, here
Here, Yes. Enjoy, enjoy
Yes. Please, take it
Good one. Good one
''Take it, take it
Here, smell it. See?''
''So good...
You guys are the best''
I am never eating again. I literally
puked a lake of cookies and milk
- That's good
- Yes, more room for dinner
Dinner?
Hi there, I'm sorry
I'm here to see my wife, actually
She's... She's right there
Thank you
Hi, honey
I'm sorry I'm late
I'm used to it by now
- I know I had it coming. I'm sorry
- Forget I said that. I'm sorry
That's okay. I understand
I guess I'm just
you know, still trying
to get used to our
situation, I guess
Maybe it's because
you don't want to get used to it?
Well, I really wanted
to tell you that...
- Welcome, my name is Pablo
- Hello Pablo
Thank you
I ordered you a croqueta
No, thank you
Not right now
- But you love croquetas
- No, it's fine
I'm just trying to stay away
from fried food. You know...
- Really?
- Would you like
- another mojito miss?
- No, I'm still good with this one
Thank you
- Are you sure?
- Yes I'm fine, thank you
- Can I get you a drink sir?
- Nothing, thank you
- No?
- I do not want
- Your sure Sir?
- Sure? Super sure!
Well, we have different specials
tonight of wines and beers
- Water, only water please
- Water?
- You were saying...
- With lime Sir?
- With lime?
- Yes! Lime!
- Yes, with line is fine. Whatever
- So I was...
Well yes it is very important, if
you want lime, I will put lime!
With lime!
- At your service Sir!
- Thank you
You were saying?
You were a little rude
Don't you think?
I'm sorry, I'll apologize
to Pedro when he comes back
- Pablo
- Okay, Pablo, Pedro, whatever
I'll apologize, okay?
I was going to say that I know that
you're trying to be a better person
but from what I just saw
I don't think that still stands
I promise, I will apologize to him
I promise. Tell Pedro that I'm sorry
- What were you saying? Okay
- Pablo
He's just trying
to do his job, Eddie
Yes. And I'm trying to do mine
you know?
I'm trying to be a good father
Trying to be a good husband
I have something lined up
that is really good
- that I'm working really hard on
- What is it?
Your water sir... with lime
Well tonight we have
different specials!
Here we have shrimp
fishes, octopus
All the different kinds of seafood!
Well, what about the specials, Sir?
Eddie
What's wrong? Eddie?
- Hi, Eddie
- Hi, Eddie
What are you guys doing
in my fridge?
You know, just chilling
Because that's what
refrigerators do... Chill
Looks a little sad
Don't you think, Slippy?
He does Dippy. What's wrong
Eddie? Dinner didn't go well?
It didn't go at all. Now
Clara hates me more than ever
Well, then you need
to be cheered up
And I have just the thing
Here, have some pie
- I would rather die
- You're still a swell guy
We should totally be rappers
I already am. I wrap toys
at the workshop all the time
That is... Guys
Guys, listen to me
At first, it seemed to be okay
but now it's getting out of...
I think... I think you have
a little right there, right...
No, no, right there
You got a little... I'm sorry
Were you saying something?
Hey, listen, I don't want to...
Do you want to know what
happens to the man
that turns down the role of Santa?
Do you? Do you? Do you?
Well, first he's dismembered
limb by limb by Santa's army
of ravenous polar bears
Then his friends are eaten too
His family. His daughters. His wife
Do you want that, Eddie?
Do you? No?
Didn't think so
No, he's just kidding about that
Polar bears really eat your family?
No, come on. It's Santa
Jolly old guy?
He's not going to let polar bears
eat everyone in our family
It would just be you, Eddie
It would only eat you
Wait, wait, no, no
She's just kidding. Relax
Or am I? Eddie, no, wait!
Eddie!
''As Santa''
''You'll experience various
elements throughout your journey''
''including but not limited to...''
- How's it going, boss?
- Well, Matilda, you know what?
Eddie is doing as well
as I expect for such a screw-up
And the two elves are certainly
helping him with that
Well, that's good, right?
Good? I need great
I need great
I need to guarantee that he's
not going to be the next Santa
How can you do that?
Silent Simon
Silent Simon? No, boss!
No! You can't
That's a big mistake
Boss... Boss, wait
Boss you can't
Boss, Simon is unstable
He's uncontrollable, unhinged
unsympathetic
and any other "un" word
you can think of
- Boss he's just too dangerous
- That is exactly why I need him
This just doesn't really feel like
one of your most clever ideas
Maybe we can go back to the
workshop
What do you say?
You're a very clever man
You think we should abort this
mission ASAP, don't you think?
Let's just go back. Boss, this
really isn't a good... idea
Boss please
Well, hello, Simon
Eddie!
Hi! This way
Where?
Hey, where did you go?
Slippy, Dippy?
- Hi, Eddie!
- Hi, Eddie!
God, you're going to give me
a heart attack
then you're not going to have
a Santa anymore
It's all part of your training
Santa can't be scared, startled
or caught off guard
Need to toughen up, okay?
What are we doing here?
Tonight is a very important
training session
Tomorrow night is Christmas Eve
so you need to learn how to sneak
into homes and leave presents
as quietly as you can
without getting caught
Santa doesn't sneak in
He's Santa Claus
Well, how does he get in?
I don't know
Through the chimney
What if the house
doesn't have a chimney?
- He poofs right in
- Poofs in?
Yes, he poofs in
There he is, Santa Claus
- You have so much to learn
- Okay
So for today's lesson, you're going
to go and leave some presents
in the home as quietly as you can
Okay. What else?
I already sprung the lock for you
since you're new
and today's your first session
When you're Santa, you'll
be able to open up any lock
on any door whenever you want
Okay. Can't be too hard
Let us go, Let us do this
Ready?
I'm ready
- Look, there's somebody here
- Of course
What kind of lesson
on silence would this be
if there wasn't anybody there
to hear you?
This is not a training session
This is breaking and entering
Did we break anything?
I am leaving
Why are you guys
whispering?
You're not leaving
You're not leaving till you deliver
those presents to that tree
I'm not going to jail
because of the two of you
Then don't get caught
- Don't make a sound
- Shut up
- Guys, guys
- What?
It is Silent Simon
Who the heck is "Simon" Simon?
He's the exact opposite
of what an elf should be
- Unloving, unhappy, bad
- Selfish, greedy, miserable
- Ornery, irritable, grumpy
- Sullen, uptight, bitter
Yes, I get it. He's cranky
- I think he hears you
- No. He's smiling!
- Is that a good thing?
- It's a very, very bad thing
Dada! Dada! Dada
Dada, I love you!
- How do we beat this guy?
- We can't
What?
He's unbeatable, guys
He's unstoppable
Eddie it was nice knowing you
And Dippy, it's been an honor
My friends!
Get off me
Hey! Come out
with your hands up!
We're alive. We're alive
We're alive!
Amazing!
Hey! Freeze!
I can explain everything
Thank God you guys showed up
because we had a rogue elf
- that would have killed us. Yes
- Rogue elf?
Not just a rogue elf, the worst elf
you could possibly imagine
The worst of the worst
I don't know what you guys are on
but it certainly sounds special
- I would like to think so
- Mind your head
Are we going to go for a ride?
Head, please
- Surprise!
- Listen, I was training
to be Santa
I'm not supposed to be here
So I need to get out
as soon as possible
Nobody's supposed to be here
You'll have fun. It's good training
This is fun!
Look, I'm a felon
because of you two
- Thank you
- You're welcome
Guess you're still working
on that sarcasm thing?
Well, it's always polite to respond
with "you are welcome"
When someone says "thanks"
All right, can we get
out of here, please?
Can you do any of those elf things
and just poof us out of here?
Given the circumstances
I'm going to forget that you just
asked about poofing again
Besides
they took our candy canes
Do you think
they'll give them back?
The bigger question here is
how did Silent Simon get out?
Yes
Who let him out of the Cage?
- The Cage?
- Given that you're going to be
the next Santa
you should probably know
Know what?
Long ago...
Long ago, during
the reign of the first Santa...
''He had the idea
to create the perfect elf'
''He wanted one that would
never tire of making toys''
''Wouldn't ever lose
the Christmas spirit''
''And most importantly, they
could do double the work''
''in half the time''
''But somewhere along the way...
things went terribly wrong''
''And Silent Simon was born''
''It was like everything Santa
wanted the elf to be...''
''Except the opposite''
''He was better, stronger
and faster than the other elves''
''But he lacked all
Christmas spirit, joy and fun''
- Like a bizarro elf?
- Yes. Yes, Eddie
You could say that
Anyway...
Santa tried working with him
to put him on the right path
But things just
continued to get worse
''Something had to be done''
''It took Santa and 12 other elves
to take him down''
''They put him in an inescapable
prison under the ice''
''We call it the Cage''
''And that's where
Silent Simon has been''
''Locked away, where
he can't hurt anyone''
But as far as I know
only Santa has access to the Cage
Santa would never let Silent Simon
out. Something smells fishy
You think something's going
down in the North Pole?
No, no, no, something
actually smells fishy
I think it's him
It's him
How is it possible that
the worst elf ever created
got his butt kicked by two moron
elves and one slacker janitor?
Well, he didn't get his butt kicked
In fact, he was about to finish
the job when the cops showed up
Silent Simon had to get
out of there
Like that makes it any better
Where is he now?
Off the grid
One thing I have learned, if
you want things done right
You got to do it yourself, You know
what? Pack your bags, Matilda
- Where are we going?
- Miami
Hey, Garcia
Come on, man. You're up
Honey, thank you for coming
I'm sorry I had to call you
I don't want more explanations!
This was that something big
you were working on?
- Becoming a thief?
- No
this is a mistake. It's their fault
I had nothing to do with it
What's this? Yes, the divorce
papers? You want to do this now?
And I'm going to file for full custody
Please Clara! Not her, not now!
Hold on, hold on, you got
to get processed out first
Come on, you can't break
the rules once in a while?
- No, no, I can't
- Not even once?
Get your property
Done? We are good?
We are done, we are good
Hi, Eddie! Didn't jump. Well done
You ready to get to work?
We've got a great session
for you today
I'm done. Forget it
What? You can't be done
You didn't even start
Listen, I'm done with you guys
I am done with the Santa thing
I am done
This about last night?
You know
We're sorry about that
You're sorry? That's all you're
going to say, is that you're sorry?
We are really sorry?
This is not worth it
Wait, Eddie, no
You can't just quit
Eddie, tonight's the big night
You must be Gabby, no?
''Gabby! I told you not to open
the door for anybody!''
How do you know?
Can I help you?
Yes, you may
I thought I made myself clear
We know
We just wanted to deliver
your Christmas gift before we left
You know what I want
for Christmas?
My life back
Must have been a good one
Yes, it was!
Now, get out!
Okay. I'm just going to leave
these out here
Take care, Eddie
Yes. See you, Eddie
Merry Christmas
''Something is
happening, guys''
- What's going on?
- ''Give me that''
- ''Listen up, Sleepy and Dopey''
- It's Dippy
''Shut up. If Eddie ever wants
to see his family again...''
''He would better not even think
about flying that sleigh tonight''
- Eddie! Open up, Eddie!
- Eddie! Eddie!
- ''Eddie!''
- ''Eddie, open up!''
''Eddie!''
Stand back
Are you guys nuts?
- Eddie
- ''Well, hello, Eddie''
- ''Daddy!''
- Gabby?
''And we're back at Watsco Center
at the University of Miami''
''for a special Christmas exhibition
basketball game''
Hello, U Nation. Welcome back
and this goes out to all of you
who were unable to make it home
this Christmas
Sorry
Between the three of us
we'll find them
Are you sure about that?
Santa!
They love me
Look at this
Hey, I hope those two elves
are nicer than the last ones
Wait, what did you say?
The two elves, they're definitely
on the naughty list man
They do a good dance
- Where did you see me?
- What?
- Where did you see me?
- What?
- Where did you see me?
- In the laundry room
Come on, guys
Hey, Eddie, I am onto you, man!
Those girls are nuts!
It's the same old Eddie
Hey, I need those elves
Eddie? Eddie?
- Well, hello, Eddie
- Who is this guy?
Is that my clone?
Do I actually look like that?
Eddie, I love your job
Hey, you guys
Shut up, clone
Now you two listen up
Drop the candy, or the lady gets it
Come on, do it. Do what he
says, please. Go, come on
Now kick it over
All right, listen
Just let them go now, okay?
No. They are going
to stay here till midnight
Till you forfeit
your chance of being Santa
What?
You did not tell her?
Mrs. Garcia your husband over
here had a chance
at being Santa Claus
That's not going to happen
because that's my job
You will never be Santa
No, Slippy?
You know what happens
if the chosen Santa
- can not fulfill his duties?
- Christmas is canceled?
- No, dummy
- It's Dippy
What happens is that a
temporary Santa is appointed
And you know who that temporary
Santa might be?
Who? The Easter Bunny
No
Me. The head elf
But that will never happen
because the selected Santa
is picked from the best of the best
That's why you weren't chosen
And you think he is?
Santa didn't choose him
I chose Eddie. He's not Santa
material. He's lazy
Unworthy, unmotivated
Non-Christmas-spirit-having
quitter!
In his file, it says, "worst possible
candidate in the world"
In the whole world
He is right. I am a quitter
and I already quit. Ask them
- It is true he quit this morning
- Excellent
So now let them go
I can't do that
Why? You got what you want
Let them go
No. If I let them go, you could
just turn around an un-quit
And I need my little
insurance policy back there
So we are all going to just sit here
nice and cozy, until it is too late
So we are just going to
wait here until midnight?
Yes
It is going to get awfully boring
- Shut up, Dopey
- It's Dippy!
But wait. If Eddie
does not become Santa Claus
we're not going to have
Christmas, you guys
What do you care?
You're not even real
But he smells really nice
Just like the workshop
Knock it off
Let us go. Come on
Come here. Watch her
I will go get her
Gabby! Gabby!
Let's go. Let's go
- Daddy!
- Come on
- No! Daddy!
- Go in there. Go in there
Daddy! Dad!
''Ladies and gentlemen''
''Welcome to this special
Christmas Eve exhibition game''
''between the Miami Hurricanes
and...''
''And there is a man on the floor''
I'm so sorry I put you guys through
this. Thank God you are okay
It's not over yet
Nothing has changed
Tick-tock
Tick-tock. Tick-tock
I am sorry, I am going
to have to go somewhere
- Go? Where?
- The North Pole
- Really?
- Yes, I can't let him be Santa
So this was the big project you
have been working on? Santa?
I will tell you all about it
I will wait up for you
All right, hold on
One, two... three!
Can we go any faster?
Can we just poof there?
What is up with you
and all this poofing?
Yes, stop it with the poofing
We don't just poof places
Get the presents packed up
Get the reindeer hooked up
We got five minutes
Get that sleigh ready. Come on
I think we are going to make it!
- Eddie?
- Eddie?
Wait, it is right here. We got
to go. Where are you going?
In order to fly Santa's sleigh
you have to look the part. Go
What?
It is okay. Just remember
your training... Santa
Jeez Eddie!
A little notice next time
Hello, Eddie
- Santa!
- Santa!
Dad?
- Dad?
- Dad?
- All this time?
- Well, at least
for the past 30 years
That is why I was not around
Because you were Santa
Why didn't you tell me?
I thought you didn't want
to be around me anymore
No, No, No, my son!
That was not the reason!
Rules are rules
I can not tell anyone
I am sorry I was away
all the time, Eddie
Forgive me son!
Wait. Dad, you are
the one who recruited me
Well, in a sense. I knew Bruno
was up to something
I knew he would not let the perfect
candidate be trained for Santa
So when he started looking
for the worst of the worst
I made sure your name
would come up
Thanks, Dad
Here
They grow up so fast
I am proud of you, son
Bruno tried to set you up
but you came out on top
He thought he was sending two
incompetent elves to train you
but he did not count on
their Christmas spirit
Thanks
- Was that a compliment?
- I am not sure
Dad...
I don't want to break up
the moment, guys, but...
Okay, we got two minutes to get
you on that... the-the-the... Sir
- Let us go
- Right. Let us go
I will help you. Come on
Come on, out of the way
Since Bruno's gone, I'm going to
stick around for a couple of months
to show you the ropes
until you settle in
Wait, Dad
You are going to leave me again?
I'll be back, I promise
But after 30 years on the job
Santa needs some time off
- They are all yours
- Tick-tock, Eddie
Wait, does that mean that
I'm not going to be spending
any Christmas with Gabby
just like you did with me?
That is part of the job
I can't let that happen
I don't want her to grow up like that
I understand why you did it and I
forgive you for it, but I can't...
If you don't leave in one minute
Bruno will be the next Santa
You have to think
of all the children in the world
- not just your own, Eddie
- She will understand, Eddie
Just like you're understanding now
But I can't change that, or bring
those memories back into my life
or Gabby's life
Santa cannot be in two places
at the same time
Yes, I know, I can't be in two
places at the same time
- Yes?
- Thirty seconds
Besides, those are the rules
All right
He's doing it!
I hate rules, Dad
How do you
get this thing going anyway?
On, Dasher!
On, Dancer! On Prancer!
Bye, Eddie!
Remember your training
I got to work on that
- Daddy!
- Hey, honey Quiet, honey
What are you doing here?
I came here because
I have something to tell you
Be quiet, because we don't
want to wake up mommy, okay?
- Okay
- Listen, I...
I want to tell you something
that I am really sorry
Really sorry that you are
in the middle of the problem
- between Mommy and I
- It's okay
No, no, just listen to me, please
I want you to know
that I am sorry for everything
I am sorry that me and your
mommy put you through all this
That you've been like in the center
of our problems, and I don't...
- Dad, I know...
- Listen to me
I love you more than anything
You know that, right?
And... And... And I should have
been there for you, and I wasn't
And I want you to know that
I will always be there for you
no matter what
You know, I'll never, ever miss
a Christmas with you, I promise
So you're not going to be
Santa anymore?
No. No, I am but...
You see Santa Claus is nothing
without his helpers
And I'm here to ask you
if you want to help me out
and come on the sleigh tonight
and, say for the next 30 years?
- I love you!
- I love you, baby
Now, let's get you a coat, okay?
It's going to be pretty cold
- Okay
- Okay, come on, honey
Freeze! Don't move!
What, this again? I'm Santa
Claus, for crying out loud
Yes, for sure, buddy
Like we haven't
heard that one before
I think he bought it
Slippy and Dippy
- Yes and you are late!
- What?
You should have been in Africa...
15 minutes ago
Yes!
Well, you can't talk to me that way
because I'm Santa Claus now
Can't talk to me that...
What?
Sir, you can not talk to me that way
because I am Santa Claus, sir
- That is what I thought
- He gets really
into the role of drill sergeant
- Now, let us move it, people!
- So, how is it going, Santa?
I'm sure he's doing fine. We got
to go! Move it, move it, move it!
Hey, let's sing a song
''Eddie the sucky Santa
had a very sucky life''
''Then he met Dippy and Slippy
now he is doing all right''
{\fnArial\3c&HFFFFFF&\1c&FF0000&\fs20\b1\an0} Edit sync By : D.LUFFY
Eddie, you should be in bed
Remember, if you are not asleep
Santa will not come over
Do you think he will
come this year, mom?
- Of course he will, Santa always...
- No. No Santa, Dad
Do you think he will come?
Eddie
I've been good during the year
And if you've been really good
then Santa brings you
everything you want. Right?
That's the rule
And if it is a rule
then he has got to do it. Right?
Well, yes, but...
All I ask is for Dad to show up
That's all
Eddie, your father
He's... Well...
- I didn't ask for anything else
- I know, I know
Come, lay down
and try to rest a bit, okay?
Santa can do anything
Merry Christmas, Eddie
Mario?
Should have come
to the Christmas party
Christmas party?
It's December 1st
We just had Thanksgiving
It's better an early Christmas
party than no Christmas party
No one wants a janitor
at their party
It does not hurt to be social
The only reason why people
want me is to clean!
They are filthy animals
Yes, and those same people let
you get away with certain things
- Things? Like what?
- Breaking the rules
- What rules?
- Sleeping on the job
There are guidelines, Mario
In the real world
there is guidelines, not rules
Besides, I am not going
to be doing this forever
Well, with that attitude
you can count on it
Well, I got to go, because I have to
clean up a stupid Christmas party
- Remember?
- Come on! Merry Christmas Eddie
It is December 1st
Forget about Christmas
You are such a grinch
''On the first day of Christmas
my employer gave to me''
''complete and utter... misery''
I will do it later
- Santa?
- Hey, Bruno
How are things going?
Everything is on track, sir
Everything will be ready
to go for Christmas Eve
- Good
- Hey Bruno
Santa, I have got
that hot chocolate for you
Extra marshmallows
just like you like it
- Thank you, Paula
- Speaking...
Say Paula, what do you want
for Christmas this year?
I would really like a new set of tools
You know, to build toys with
But do not get me wrong
I really like the ones I have now
So it is okay if I do not get them
I would also explode
with peppermint
for a charitable donation
to the children's shelter
Slow down, child. Slow down
Let me have the list
I will look it over later
Jeez!
Thank you so much Santa!
- Speaking of...
- Isn't she the best?
Yes. Yes, sir. She is... She
is my favorite. No doubt about it
Speaking about Christmas Eve
This is the year
What? What are you talking about?
Yes, yes
I have been having such
a hard time narrowing down
the list of candidates for Santa
- But...
- But
- I think I have a winner
- Really?
Somebody that is kind
courteous
- friendly, organized
- Of course
Somebody that I have been
watching for a long time
and I am certain he can take over
my operation and fill in my boots
- Santa
- Someone that I know
- You read my...
- Liam Mueller
This is the winner right here
Liam
Bruno, Bruno...
Your resume is great
But it's lacking one thing
World knowledge
Santa needs to know people
You have lived here
in the North Pole your whole life
- I see
- Besides...
who is going to run
my operation? I need my head elf
- Santa, I...
- ''Let me take your scarf''
- I understand
- Great
I knew you would understand
So, I can trust you with this?
Yes, Santa. I will put
my best elf on training detail
Great
Thank you, Bruno
Hey, Bruno?
''Sorry, what is it like to be
the head elf? I bet it is great''
''All that time you get
to spend with Santa''
''Would not it be great
to be Santa one day?''
''I am just hoping that one day
I can have your job''
''After you retire, of course''
''You must be the happiest elf
in the Pole. Will you still be...?''
Pass me over for a promotion
This was supposed to be my year
Bearded, cookie-eating...
You want a new Santa?
I will get you a new Santa
Just who I need
This is too perfect
Goodbye, Liam Mueller
Hello, Eddie Garcia
Merry Christmas to me
Now for the final touch
Just what I need
Slippy
Dippy, to my office now
- Slippy reporting for duty, sir
- Dippy reporting for duty, sir
I have an assignment for you guys
I need you to train the new Santa
- Train the new Santa?
- But sir, you always do that
Well, I am actually handing
this to you guys right now
You guys have been
the best elves this year
- Do you think you can do it?
- Yes, sir
It would be an honor, sir
- We won't let you down
- We won't let you down
Hey! Come here, baby
My little astronaut
You look great
Look at you. I love it
We have some fun stuff
for you today
We got ponies, we got Ferris
wheels, we got candy
We got everything
I can't tell you everything, okay?
Just what I need!?
Clara, my world, we have a visitor
Your Ex is here
- Hi Mom
- Hi
Hi, Clara
Oh my God!
Eddie, I am so sorry
- About what?
- It's my parents' anniversary
So Gabby and I are on our way
to go have a dinner
Hold on a second
We talked about it last week
- She was going to come with me
- I know
I know, I got the days mixed up
Listen I can call tomorrow
I can reschedule tomorrow. Okay?
It's just, I really...
I really have to go
Why are they even celebrating?
They hate each other
- You are crazy! Crazy!
- Stop! I'm the crazy one?
Mom, can I please
please stay with Daddy?
See? She wants to go with me
You hear that?
Clara, let her go with her father
Anyways, after all it's only my
wedding anniversary today
- This is why
- Mommy, can you please
take Gabby
and go wait in the car?
- I am sorry, Dad
- I am sorry too, baby
Hey, look, I am really sorry, but it
just can not happen today. Okay?
Why do not you let me back
into the house
so I do not have to deal with
these kinds of issues ever again?
You have only been out
of the house a month
and you are whining
like it has been an eternity
It is an eternity
It feels like that
But you know what?
She is my daughter, too. Right?
If you want me to consider that you
have to put a little bit of more effort
to prove to me that
you are ready for that
A little effort?
I'm here, I'm trying
Honey, that was never the issue
I got to go
Wait a second, why are you getting
your way all the time? Why?
It's not my way, Eddie
Sometimes things come up
and you have to be a little bit
more understanding
I mean you forced me for years
to be understanding
- so I guess now it is your turn!
- Understanding?
I'm understanding that my
daughter would rather spend time
with her father
That I understand
You know what?
If I'm not going to get her today
because obviously I'm not
then I'll pick her up on Monday
after school
I'll get her on Monday afternoon
okay?
- Yes, sure, fine
- What?
Fine!
This will be great
- Hi, Eddie
- Hey!
What do you want? Stay back
Stay back
What do you want?
What do you want?
Hi, Eddie
Look, take whatever you want
Just do not hurt me, okay?
What could we
possibly want in here?
And besides, if we took anything
we would be put
on the naughty list for sure
- Naughty list?
- Yes
Well, we do not want
to get on Santa's bad side
Mario
This is Mario's idea
Hey! Mario, where are you?
You had something to do with this
Eddie, this isn't a prank
We're actually two of Santa's elves
- I'm Slippy
- And I'm Dippy
Yes, Slip and Dippy my butt
Hey! Mario, where are you?
- Should we show him?
- I think we're going to have to
Listen I'm going to find out it's you
You're done with me you get it?
Where you at?
I know this is a prank
What?
And now for our final trick...
Is something
supposed to happen?
Yes, the polar bear
might have been too much
''But I didn't ask for anything else''
I know, come, let us try
to sleep a little, okay?
- Hi, Eddie!
- Hey, Eddie Spaghetti!
Have you been
a naughty boy this year?
He's been naughty
You're a naughty little boy
Eddie, I love your
Christmas pajamas!
Eddie!
I thought it was a dream
What the hell is going on?
- We are elves, Eddie
- And we are here to tell you that...
You're going to be
the next Santa Claus!
- Being Santa is a dream
- I wish I was Santa
Look, Eddie, we understand
that this is a lot to process
- Just hear us out
- And if I do that, you'll go away?
Probably not
So there is a little-known secret
that every 30 years or so
a new Santa Claus is chosen
And this year, that is you
Elves, okay
So let us say I wanted to be
Santa Claus, which I don't
because I don't believe in Santa
Claus and I couldn't do it anyway
- Why not?
- Because...
I am Latino, and Santa is white
Silly. Santa has no race
color or gender
Throughout history
there have been Santas
from all over the world
Yes, we have
had Jamaican Santas
''Chinese Santas
Indian Santas''
''Scottish Santa''
Heck!
We even had a Jewish Santa
You name it
and we have had one
- Mind-blowing
- Remember the alien Santa?
That was my favorite!
Really, I mean, why me?
I don't even like Christmas
Blasphemy! Don't you ever say
you don't like Christmas
- Fine, But why me?
- We are elves, Eddie
It's a little bit above our pay grade
to be questioning those decisions
- You were chosen, so you're it
- We got to get started soon
because we have a lot to do
and not much time to do it
in order to get you ready
for Christmas Eve!
Yes. So we're going to need you
to sign all these papers and...
Look... I can't do this. I have a job
A family. You understand?
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
Do not think we would
have thought of that
Come on, we got you covered
We made a clone to take
your place while you train!
- A clone?
- Yes
You guys can do that?
Jeez! Eddie, we just made a polar
bear appear in your living room
Now you're questioning
our clone-making abilities?
It's true
So, let me get this straight
You have a clone who is going
to go and do everything for me
and I don't have to show up
at the arena at all?
You won't have time
You'll be training
Sign those papers
and be at this address
tomorrow morning at 8:00 AM
- 8:00 AM sharp!
- You got it
Good morning, Eddie
How was the weekend?
Hey, how are you, Mario?
Come here, good day friend
Looking good
- Are you okay, Eddie?
- Yes, fantastic
- You smell gingerbread?
- Must be my facial cream
Merry Christmas
8:05
Well, give him a little lead-in
Maybe he's stuck in traffic
No, no, no, no, no
That's it. Time's up
Fine
- What the heck?
- Top of the morning Eddie
Hi, Eddie
- Did you sleep well?
- You look good. Well rested
Well, we got a super exciting day
for you planned
Are you ready, Eddie?
That rhymes. "Ready, Eddie"
- Shut up
- All right, Eddie come on
It's going to be so much fun!
You excited? I am excited
Are you excited?
It's going to be a fun day
I'm so excited
I'm excited, she's excited, you're
excited We're all excited. Let's go
So much excitement in the air
You going to leave the bed
like that?
- Yes
- Yes
- How about some cup of coffee?
- You want some coffee?
- Yes
- I'll get you some coffee
- What did you want?
- Just coffee
I hear that's French
Hey, how about that cup
of coffee?
Where did you go?
- Hello?
- ''You're late, late, late''
Yes, I know
I'm sorry about that
''You're going to be...
going to be, going to be''
When we tell you to be somewhere
at 8:00 a.m you be there at 8 a.m.!
- Are we clear?
- Yes
- What was that?
- I said, yes
The only two words I want to hear
out of your mouth is, "Sir, yes sir"
- Do you understand me?
- That's three words
- Sir, yes, sir!
- I can't hear you
- Sir, yes, sir
- I still can't hear you
- Sir yes sir!
- I can't!
It's your first day!
I'm so excited!
Today, we will be working
on strength and conditioning
As Santa, you have to go through
a bunch of rigorous activities
- that includes...
- He gets it
Now, get your butt started
Come on, move it
Are you ready for Santa's winter
wonder-hell course?
No
Good. Now, go, go, go, go, go!
Come on! Let's go! Go, go, go, go!
- Eddie, go, go, go, go, go!
- Go, go, go, go!
- Eddie!
- Santa doesn't take breaks
Hey, hey! hey!
Santa doesn't take breaks!
Eddie faster, faster, faster!
Go, go, go!
Eddie, grab the sack
Grab, grab, grab the sack
Put it...grab the sack Eddie
Over, Eddie
Positive attitude, Eddie!
Positive attitude! Go, Eddie, go!
Go, go, go. Let's go. Here we go
Keep on running back
Come on you can do it. No, you
can't. Yes you can. Come on
There's lots of Santas
to take your place
Come on Eddie Son of
a nutcracker this guy is slow
- Come on!
- Go, go, go
Get your nose out there
Get your nose out there
Watch out for the naughty children
They're not that naughty, Eddie
Don't worry
No, they're naughty
No, no they're very, very naughty
''Naughty or nice, Eddie?''
''Naughty or nice?''
''Eddie...''
- Come on, Eddie!
- Get off me
Slippy, Dippy
Don't make me go...
You're evil kids
Hey! Get off! Get off me!
Faster, faster, faster, Eddie
Do I see slacking?
Do I see slacking?
Push! Push! Push! Push! Push!
Push! Push!
Come on, Eddie
Come on, come on, come on
Come on Eddie
Come on, Eddie
Go, Eddie, go!
Go, Eddie, go!
Breathe, Eddie! Breathe!
Breathe! Breathe!
Santa doesn't fall
Santa does not fall
Eddie!
Come on, Eddie!
Come on, Eddie!
You got a long...
Move it! Move it!
Move it!
Come on! Come on!
That was... pathetic
Eddie, you are so pathetic
You're so pathetic, Eddie
You're so pathetic
He's so cute
Look, he's so cute
He looks so cute
Eddie, what happened?
- What happened?
- You passed out
- It was sad
- You know, you do that a lot
- What time is it?
- It's past 3:00 already
I got to go pick up Gabby
Late again. That is not going
to look good on the old resume
See you here tomorrow!
That is funny, Eddie
You want to know why?
Because when I had to leave work
early to pick up Gabby
after you said you would
I wasn't stuck in traffic
because there wasn't any!
Yes, you should be!
That is obvious!
You know, it's one thing to always
keep me waiting, but now Gabby?
Eddie, I had to leave work early
which means I didn't get to do it
so now I have to finish it at home
No, do not come here
Absolutely not
And then I have to wonder when
you're going to bring her home
I don't think so. I've been just as
understanding as you have been
- Mom, please
- No!
My God!
"If you're going to be Santa Claus
you need to live like Santa Claus"
"Love, Slippy and Dippy"
- Eddie!
- Hello
- Eddie! Put it there bro!
- Let us do it!
- My man Eddie G
- Hey
You guys notice anything
different about Eddie lately?
Only that he's super awesome now
He used to be all broody
and cranky
Now he's super fun
- And he smells delicious
- Delicious?
Like fresh-baked cakes
and cookies
Jenny in Accounting said
she gave him a kiss on the cheek
the other day because
he helped her out with something
and not only did he smell like
cookies, he tasted like them too
What are you guys talking about?
Jeez! I just want to go over there
and lick his face
Am I the only one that notices
his skin looks like a lizard?
Don't be such a hater. It's the
new skin care products he's using
You should be ashamed
for yourself
for judging what's on the outside
instead of what's on the inside
Let's go
Rude
- Hi, Eddie
- Hello there
- ''So good to see you''
- ''Yes, of course''
''It's Christmas time''
- Hi, Eddie
- What is wrong with you two?
Nothing that I can see. Everything
seems to be in order
Why?
Do you see something wrong?
Have you ever heard
of knocking?
Why, yes, of course
Knocking
Maybe you should try it
out sometime
before popping up
while I'm taking my bath
But if we knocked
then you wouldn't be surprised
Exactly
What do you want?
- It's time for your training
- Now?
- What other time is there?
- I am taking my bath
He's taking a bath
No, no! Don't do it
Fine, fine, I'll do it. I'll do it
Okay, so let's go!
Go, go, go! Come on!
He's not moving
Why isn't he moving?
Could I have
some privacy, please?
- Why?
- Because I am naked
Fine
We're going to make a note
of this on your report
"Late because naked"
Good
There you are. Take a seat
- During your first week of training
- Which you were pathetic at
- Thanks
- You're welcome
During your first week of training
You dealt with some of the physical
challenges Santa has to face
Now that we're
in our second week...
We're going to have to step it up
because there's only
ten days left till Christmas
I'm sorry
I'm not sorry
Now that we're in our second week
you will not only have to handle
more physical challenges
but mental challenges as well
"What is the circumference
of the earth?"
"How many square feet
is the continent of Africa?"
That is easy
"Where would you find the most
remote islands on earth?"
How would I know
any of this?
You should know
because Santa needs to know
- Yes
- Why would I have to know
the square footage
of the continent of Africa?
Because you do
Now, you have one hour
to complete this examination
- Pencils ready
- I don't have a pencil
Begin
Pencils down
- No, no, it is all right
- What?
It is wrong
P-minus?
That is not even a real grade
No, Eddie
Yes, yes, it is. P, for "Pathetic"
Eddie!
What?
Make sure you memorize
all that for next time
Wednesday, warehouse
3:00 p.m. sharp
Wednesday?
Hey boss. Got those naughty
list papers for you to sign
Just... Just leave them there
Hey, shouldn't you be
on Santa training detail?
We're sorry you got passed over
for a promotion, by the way
I think you would have
made a great Santa
Yes, so do I. I would take this
organization to where it should be
No more free rides for kids
So, okay, so you've been
a spoiled brat this whole year
You take out the garbage once...
Once and you're on the nice list?
- Not on my watch
- I hear you, boss
These Santas have ruined
Christmas
If I was the boss, I would stick
coal in every kid's stockings
It's going to happen
Soon enough
In another 30 years, maybe?
- Maybe not
- That's it?
You're just going to leave me
hanging like that?
Well, Matilda, I can't reveal
all my secrets
Everything will be told in due time
- Hey, honey
- Daddy!
How are you baby?
- No traffic today?
- So good to see you
No
Thanks for doing this, okay?
She wouldn't stop
pestering me, so...
Here we go
I am going to talk
to your mom, okay?
Where do they get
all the energy from?
What?
No, she just loves being with you
And you're so good with her
You know why? Because
we're the same age up here
Finally, something we both
can agree on
- You think you're attractive?
- I guess
Two things we agree on
See?
Look, I just wanted to talk
to you about something
and now it might not be
the right time, but... Look
I know this is not
the life you planned
- Eddie
- No, I...
I think we should work it out. We
should do it for Gabby, you know?
I do hate seeing her upset
all the time
Her not really understanding why
you're not living with us anymore
I don't understand why
I'm not living there anymore
- Eddie
- I'm just kidding
I know
Believe me, I know
You know, you got a big heart
and you're funny
And you can be anything
that you want to be, but...
- But what?
- No buts
I just don't want Gabby to grow up
without a father, like I did
I don't want her to do that
- How about we have dinner?
- Really?
Yes. Yes. We'll sit and we'll talk
and we'll hash everything out
No judgments, no getting angry
at each other. Just talking
All right, but I think we're going to
have to call your mom to referee
No, just you and I
- How about we go to Claro's?
- Our Claro's?
- The one and only
- Okay. I could swing that
So are you going... Are you going
to let me know when?
- Okay
- When?
I don't know
I have to check my schedule
- You're going to call me?
- Yes, I'm going to call you
You're going to pick up
the phone and call me, right?
Yes, jeez, don't make a big
deal out of it. It's just dinner
Daddy, look what I got
How come I don't get
one of those?
Maybe you'll get one for Christmas
who knows?
Maybe you're right
It's time to go honey
Come on
Hey, give me a hug
- I love you with all my heart
- I love you more
- Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
- Hi
- Hi. Come on in
- Can I clean anything?
No, no, no
Not this time, please
Of course. Thank you
Hi, everybody. Hello
So lately, we have all noticed
what a great job
you have done around the office
Yes, I love working
for you guys
- We can tell
- Good
And, as a way of thanking you...
we wanted to promote you
to head of janitorial services
Yes! Thank you so much
That's so unexpected. Wonderful
So the job comes with a pay raise
You'll be in a managerial position
And with that, you'll have
several staff members under you
Wonderful
Like the boss?
- Like I'm a boss?
- Yes. Yes
Wait, I have to keep
cleaning the toilets
I really love cleaning your toilets
I really do. Can I do that?
- Sure. Yes
- Great! Great
And you'll attend weekly staff
meetings and do payroll
Stuff like that but we can
talk about all of that in private
- Anytime
- Later
So in the meantime
Congratulations
Thank you so much
Thank you guys
Thank you. Wonderful
I'm sorry
I'm just going to...
Is there anything
that you want to say?
Yes, of course
I would love to say
that I love each
and every one of you dearly
And I have been here
a long time, haven't I?
Yes, I have, right?
Good
And I want to say that I love
taking out your trash
and I love cleaning your toilets
because they are so clogged up
And you guys do a great job
of doing that. And I love you for it
So thank you very much. Take
some candy. And for you as well
Please share with everyone
And anything you need from me
just call me
Love you guys
Merry Christmas
You guys, he smells amazing
Hi. I knew you would call
Yes, yes well, you told me
you were going to call
Tonight? No...yes! Yes tonight
is great. Tonight is great
You got it, 8:00
I'll be there. Bye
Slippy and Dippy, please
Don't jump out at me, okay?
- Hi Eddie!
- Hi Eddie!
Why do you do that all the time?
It keeps you on your toes
You're going to love
today's training
It's the cookies and milk portion
Now you're talking
Food, yes!
As Santa, every home you visit
will be leaving you a special treat
as a way of saying thank you
And now we'll eat this treat as a
way of saying, "You're welcome"
So on the count of three
you're going to eat
as many cookies as you can
as fast as you can
and you're going to guzzle milk
as fast as you can till I say to stop
Okay, go
One, two, three. Okay, continue
Yes, come on
- Good
- Yes, yes, yes Okay
Chug, chug chug, chug, chug
chug, chug chug, nice!
They used to tell me
that all the time in college
Go, come on. We want a fat Santa
Do you want a fat Santa?
We want a fat Santa
Come on, eat the cookies
Running out of time
Two at a time. Double-fisted
There you go. Nice. Continue
- Cookies very healthy
- Come on, come on
This should be all
- All done?
- All done
- Well, I think you did a good job
- Did an amazing job
I mean, I thought for a moment
I was not going to enjoy it
but I love my milk and cookies
That's good. That's good
Because you're not done yet
You sorry excuse
for the next Santa!
Turn around!
Yes. Go. Come on
Get chewing, let us go. Here
we go, come on, come on...
You guys are the best
Take a cookie, Yes, here
Here, Yes. Enjoy, enjoy
Yes. Please, take it
Good one. Good one
''Take it, take it
Here, smell it. See?''
''So good...
You guys are the best''
I am never eating again. I literally
puked a lake of cookies and milk
- That's good
- Yes, more room for dinner
Dinner?
Hi there, I'm sorry
I'm here to see my wife, actually
She's... She's right there
Thank you
Hi, honey
I'm sorry I'm late
I'm used to it by now
- I know I had it coming. I'm sorry
- Forget I said that. I'm sorry
That's okay. I understand
I guess I'm just
you know, still trying
to get used to our
situation, I guess
Maybe it's because
you don't want to get used to it?
Well, I really wanted
to tell you that...
- Welcome, my name is Pablo
- Hello Pablo
Thank you
I ordered you a croqueta
No, thank you
Not right now
- But you love croquetas
- No, it's fine
I'm just trying to stay away
from fried food. You know...
- Really?
- Would you like
- another mojito miss?
- No, I'm still good with this one
Thank you
- Are you sure?
- Yes I'm fine, thank you
- Can I get you a drink sir?
- Nothing, thank you
- No?
- I do not want
- Your sure Sir?
- Sure? Super sure!
Well, we have different specials
tonight of wines and beers
- Water, only water please
- Water?
- You were saying...
- With lime Sir?
- With lime?
- Yes! Lime!
- Yes, with line is fine. Whatever
- So I was...
Well yes it is very important, if
you want lime, I will put lime!
With lime!
- At your service Sir!
- Thank you
You were saying?
You were a little rude
Don't you think?
I'm sorry, I'll apologize
to Pedro when he comes back
- Pablo
- Okay, Pablo, Pedro, whatever
I'll apologize, okay?
I was going to say that I know that
you're trying to be a better person
but from what I just saw
I don't think that still stands
I promise, I will apologize to him
I promise. Tell Pedro that I'm sorry
- What were you saying? Okay
- Pablo
He's just trying
to do his job, Eddie
Yes. And I'm trying to do mine
you know?
I'm trying to be a good father
Trying to be a good husband
I have something lined up
that is really good
- that I'm working really hard on
- What is it?
Your water sir... with lime
Well tonight we have
different specials!
Here we have shrimp
fishes, octopus
All the different kinds of seafood!
Well, what about the specials, Sir?
Eddie
What's wrong? Eddie?
- Hi, Eddie
- Hi, Eddie
What are you guys doing
in my fridge?
You know, just chilling
Because that's what
refrigerators do... Chill
Looks a little sad
Don't you think, Slippy?
He does Dippy. What's wrong
Eddie? Dinner didn't go well?
It didn't go at all. Now
Clara hates me more than ever
Well, then you need
to be cheered up
And I have just the thing
Here, have some pie
- I would rather die
- You're still a swell guy
We should totally be rappers
I already am. I wrap toys
at the workshop all the time
That is... Guys
Guys, listen to me
At first, it seemed to be okay
but now it's getting out of...
I think... I think you have
a little right there, right...
No, no, right there
You got a little... I'm sorry
Were you saying something?
Hey, listen, I don't want to...
Do you want to know what
happens to the man
that turns down the role of Santa?
Do you? Do you? Do you?
Well, first he's dismembered
limb by limb by Santa's army
of ravenous polar bears
Then his friends are eaten too
His family. His daughters. His wife
Do you want that, Eddie?
Do you? No?
Didn't think so
No, he's just kidding about that
Polar bears really eat your family?
No, come on. It's Santa
Jolly old guy?
He's not going to let polar bears
eat everyone in our family
It would just be you, Eddie
It would only eat you
Wait, wait, no, no
She's just kidding. Relax
Or am I? Eddie, no, wait!
Eddie!
''As Santa''
''You'll experience various
elements throughout your journey''
''including but not limited to...''
- How's it going, boss?
- Well, Matilda, you know what?
Eddie is doing as well
as I expect for such a screw-up
And the two elves are certainly
helping him with that
Well, that's good, right?
Good? I need great
I need great
I need to guarantee that he's
not going to be the next Santa
How can you do that?
Silent Simon
Silent Simon? No, boss!
No! You can't
That's a big mistake
Boss... Boss, wait
Boss you can't
Boss, Simon is unstable
He's uncontrollable, unhinged
unsympathetic
and any other "un" word
you can think of
- Boss he's just too dangerous
- That is exactly why I need him
This just doesn't really feel like
one of your most clever ideas
Maybe we can go back to the
workshop
What do you say?
You're a very clever man
You think we should abort this
mission ASAP, don't you think?
Let's just go back. Boss, this
really isn't a good... idea
Boss please
Well, hello, Simon
Eddie!
Hi! This way
Where?
Hey, where did you go?
Slippy, Dippy?
- Hi, Eddie!
- Hi, Eddie!
God, you're going to give me
a heart attack
then you're not going to have
a Santa anymore
It's all part of your training
Santa can't be scared, startled
or caught off guard
Need to toughen up, okay?
What are we doing here?
Tonight is a very important
training session
Tomorrow night is Christmas Eve
so you need to learn how to sneak
into homes and leave presents
as quietly as you can
without getting caught
Santa doesn't sneak in
He's Santa Claus
Well, how does he get in?
I don't know
Through the chimney
What if the house
doesn't have a chimney?
- He poofs right in
- Poofs in?
Yes, he poofs in
There he is, Santa Claus
- You have so much to learn
- Okay
So for today's lesson, you're going
to go and leave some presents
in the home as quietly as you can
Okay. What else?
I already sprung the lock for you
since you're new
and today's your first session
When you're Santa, you'll
be able to open up any lock
on any door whenever you want
Okay. Can't be too hard
Let us go, Let us do this
Ready?
I'm ready
- Look, there's somebody here
- Of course
What kind of lesson
on silence would this be
if there wasn't anybody there
to hear you?
This is not a training session
This is breaking and entering
Did we break anything?
I am leaving
Why are you guys
whispering?
You're not leaving
You're not leaving till you deliver
those presents to that tree
I'm not going to jail
because of the two of you
Then don't get caught
- Don't make a sound
- Shut up
- Guys, guys
- What?
It is Silent Simon
Who the heck is "Simon" Simon?
He's the exact opposite
of what an elf should be
- Unloving, unhappy, bad
- Selfish, greedy, miserable
- Ornery, irritable, grumpy
- Sullen, uptight, bitter
Yes, I get it. He's cranky
- I think he hears you
- No. He's smiling!
- Is that a good thing?
- It's a very, very bad thing
Dada! Dada! Dada
Dada, I love you!
- How do we beat this guy?
- We can't
What?
He's unbeatable, guys
He's unstoppable
Eddie it was nice knowing you
And Dippy, it's been an honor
My friends!
Get off me
Hey! Come out
with your hands up!
We're alive. We're alive
We're alive!
Amazing!
Hey! Freeze!
I can explain everything
Thank God you guys showed up
because we had a rogue elf
- that would have killed us. Yes
- Rogue elf?
Not just a rogue elf, the worst elf
you could possibly imagine
The worst of the worst
I don't know what you guys are on
but it certainly sounds special
- I would like to think so
- Mind your head
Are we going to go for a ride?
Head, please
- Surprise!
- Listen, I was training
to be Santa
I'm not supposed to be here
So I need to get out
as soon as possible
Nobody's supposed to be here
You'll have fun. It's good training
This is fun!
Look, I'm a felon
because of you two
- Thank you
- You're welcome
Guess you're still working
on that sarcasm thing?
Well, it's always polite to respond
with "you are welcome"
When someone says "thanks"
All right, can we get
out of here, please?
Can you do any of those elf things
and just poof us out of here?
Given the circumstances
I'm going to forget that you just
asked about poofing again
Besides
they took our candy canes
Do you think
they'll give them back?
The bigger question here is
how did Silent Simon get out?
Yes
Who let him out of the Cage?
- The Cage?
- Given that you're going to be
the next Santa
you should probably know
Know what?
Long ago...
Long ago, during
the reign of the first Santa...
''He had the idea
to create the perfect elf'
''He wanted one that would
never tire of making toys''
''Wouldn't ever lose
the Christmas spirit''
''And most importantly, they
could do double the work''
''in half the time''
''But somewhere along the way...
things went terribly wrong''
''And Silent Simon was born''
''It was like everything Santa
wanted the elf to be...''
''Except the opposite''
''He was better, stronger
and faster than the other elves''
''But he lacked all
Christmas spirit, joy and fun''
- Like a bizarro elf?
- Yes. Yes, Eddie
You could say that
Anyway...
Santa tried working with him
to put him on the right path
But things just
continued to get worse
''Something had to be done''
''It took Santa and 12 other elves
to take him down''
''They put him in an inescapable
prison under the ice''
''We call it the Cage''
''And that's where
Silent Simon has been''
''Locked away, where
he can't hurt anyone''
But as far as I know
only Santa has access to the Cage
Santa would never let Silent Simon
out. Something smells fishy
You think something's going
down in the North Pole?
No, no, no, something
actually smells fishy
I think it's him
It's him
How is it possible that
the worst elf ever created
got his butt kicked by two moron
elves and one slacker janitor?
Well, he didn't get his butt kicked
In fact, he was about to finish
the job when the cops showed up
Silent Simon had to get
out of there
Like that makes it any better
Where is he now?
Off the grid
One thing I have learned, if
you want things done right
You got to do it yourself, You know
what? Pack your bags, Matilda
- Where are we going?
- Miami
Hey, Garcia
Come on, man. You're up
Honey, thank you for coming
I'm sorry I had to call you
I don't want more explanations!
This was that something big
you were working on?
- Becoming a thief?
- No
this is a mistake. It's their fault
I had nothing to do with it
What's this? Yes, the divorce
papers? You want to do this now?
And I'm going to file for full custody
Please Clara! Not her, not now!
Hold on, hold on, you got
to get processed out first
Come on, you can't break
the rules once in a while?
- No, no, I can't
- Not even once?
Get your property
Done? We are good?
We are done, we are good
Hi, Eddie! Didn't jump. Well done
You ready to get to work?
We've got a great session
for you today
I'm done. Forget it
What? You can't be done
You didn't even start
Listen, I'm done with you guys
I am done with the Santa thing
I am done
This about last night?
You know
We're sorry about that
You're sorry? That's all you're
going to say, is that you're sorry?
We are really sorry?
This is not worth it
Wait, Eddie, no
You can't just quit
Eddie, tonight's the big night
You must be Gabby, no?
''Gabby! I told you not to open
the door for anybody!''
How do you know?
Can I help you?
Yes, you may
I thought I made myself clear
We know
We just wanted to deliver
your Christmas gift before we left
You know what I want
for Christmas?
My life back
Must have been a good one
Yes, it was!
Now, get out!
Okay. I'm just going to leave
these out here
Take care, Eddie
Yes. See you, Eddie
Merry Christmas
''Something is
happening, guys''
- What's going on?
- ''Give me that''
- ''Listen up, Sleepy and Dopey''
- It's Dippy
''Shut up. If Eddie ever wants
to see his family again...''
''He would better not even think
about flying that sleigh tonight''
- Eddie! Open up, Eddie!
- Eddie! Eddie!
- ''Eddie!''
- ''Eddie, open up!''
''Eddie!''
Stand back
Are you guys nuts?
- Eddie
- ''Well, hello, Eddie''
- ''Daddy!''
- Gabby?
''And we're back at Watsco Center
at the University of Miami''
''for a special Christmas exhibition
basketball game''
Hello, U Nation. Welcome back
and this goes out to all of you
who were unable to make it home
this Christmas
Sorry
Between the three of us
we'll find them
Are you sure about that?
Santa!
They love me
Look at this
Hey, I hope those two elves
are nicer than the last ones
Wait, what did you say?
The two elves, they're definitely
on the naughty list man
They do a good dance
- Where did you see me?
- What?
- Where did you see me?
- What?
- Where did you see me?
- In the laundry room
Come on, guys
Hey, Eddie, I am onto you, man!
Those girls are nuts!
It's the same old Eddie
Hey, I need those elves
Eddie? Eddie?
- Well, hello, Eddie
- Who is this guy?
Is that my clone?
Do I actually look like that?
Eddie, I love your job
Hey, you guys
Shut up, clone
Now you two listen up
Drop the candy, or the lady gets it
Come on, do it. Do what he
says, please. Go, come on
Now kick it over
All right, listen
Just let them go now, okay?
No. They are going
to stay here till midnight
Till you forfeit
your chance of being Santa
What?
You did not tell her?
Mrs. Garcia your husband over
here had a chance
at being Santa Claus
That's not going to happen
because that's my job
You will never be Santa
No, Slippy?
You know what happens
if the chosen Santa
- can not fulfill his duties?
- Christmas is canceled?
- No, dummy
- It's Dippy
What happens is that a
temporary Santa is appointed
And you know who that temporary
Santa might be?
Who? The Easter Bunny
No
Me. The head elf
But that will never happen
because the selected Santa
is picked from the best of the best
That's why you weren't chosen
And you think he is?
Santa didn't choose him
I chose Eddie. He's not Santa
material. He's lazy
Unworthy, unmotivated
Non-Christmas-spirit-having
quitter!
In his file, it says, "worst possible
candidate in the world"
In the whole world
He is right. I am a quitter
and I already quit. Ask them
- It is true he quit this morning
- Excellent
So now let them go
I can't do that
Why? You got what you want
Let them go
No. If I let them go, you could
just turn around an un-quit
And I need my little
insurance policy back there
So we are all going to just sit here
nice and cozy, until it is too late
So we are just going to
wait here until midnight?
Yes
It is going to get awfully boring
- Shut up, Dopey
- It's Dippy!
But wait. If Eddie
does not become Santa Claus
we're not going to have
Christmas, you guys
What do you care?
You're not even real
But he smells really nice
Just like the workshop
Knock it off
Let us go. Come on
Come here. Watch her
I will go get her
Gabby! Gabby!
Let's go. Let's go
- Daddy!
- Come on
- No! Daddy!
- Go in there. Go in there
Daddy! Dad!
''Ladies and gentlemen''
''Welcome to this special
Christmas Eve exhibition game''
''between the Miami Hurricanes
and...''
''And there is a man on the floor''
I'm so sorry I put you guys through
this. Thank God you are okay
It's not over yet
Nothing has changed
Tick-tock
Tick-tock. Tick-tock
I am sorry, I am going
to have to go somewhere
- Go? Where?
- The North Pole
- Really?
- Yes, I can't let him be Santa
So this was the big project you
have been working on? Santa?
I will tell you all about it
I will wait up for you
All right, hold on
One, two... three!
Can we go any faster?
Can we just poof there?
What is up with you
and all this poofing?
Yes, stop it with the poofing
We don't just poof places
Get the presents packed up
Get the reindeer hooked up
We got five minutes
Get that sleigh ready. Come on
I think we are going to make it!
- Eddie?
- Eddie?
Wait, it is right here. We got
to go. Where are you going?
In order to fly Santa's sleigh
you have to look the part. Go
What?
It is okay. Just remember
your training... Santa
Jeez Eddie!
A little notice next time
Hello, Eddie
- Santa!
- Santa!
Dad?
- Dad?
- Dad?
- All this time?
- Well, at least
for the past 30 years
That is why I was not around
Because you were Santa
Why didn't you tell me?
I thought you didn't want
to be around me anymore
No, No, No, my son!
That was not the reason!
Rules are rules
I can not tell anyone
I am sorry I was away
all the time, Eddie
Forgive me son!
Wait. Dad, you are
the one who recruited me
Well, in a sense. I knew Bruno
was up to something
I knew he would not let the perfect
candidate be trained for Santa
So when he started looking
for the worst of the worst
I made sure your name
would come up
Thanks, Dad
Here
They grow up so fast
I am proud of you, son
Bruno tried to set you up
but you came out on top
He thought he was sending two
incompetent elves to train you
but he did not count on
their Christmas spirit
Thanks
- Was that a compliment?
- I am not sure
Dad...
I don't want to break up
the moment, guys, but...
Okay, we got two minutes to get
you on that... the-the-the... Sir
- Let us go
- Right. Let us go
I will help you. Come on
Come on, out of the way
Since Bruno's gone, I'm going to
stick around for a couple of months
to show you the ropes
until you settle in
Wait, Dad
You are going to leave me again?
I'll be back, I promise
But after 30 years on the job
Santa needs some time off
- They are all yours
- Tick-tock, Eddie
Wait, does that mean that
I'm not going to be spending
any Christmas with Gabby
just like you did with me?
That is part of the job
I can't let that happen
I don't want her to grow up like that
I understand why you did it and I
forgive you for it, but I can't...
If you don't leave in one minute
Bruno will be the next Santa
You have to think
of all the children in the world
- not just your own, Eddie
- She will understand, Eddie
Just like you're understanding now
But I can't change that, or bring
those memories back into my life
or Gabby's life
Santa cannot be in two places
at the same time
Yes, I know, I can't be in two
places at the same time
- Yes?
- Thirty seconds
Besides, those are the rules
All right
He's doing it!
I hate rules, Dad
How do you
get this thing going anyway?
On, Dasher!
On, Dancer! On Prancer!
Bye, Eddie!
Remember your training
I got to work on that
- Daddy!
- Hey, honey Quiet, honey
What are you doing here?
I came here because
I have something to tell you
Be quiet, because we don't
want to wake up mommy, okay?
- Okay
- Listen, I...
I want to tell you something
that I am really sorry
Really sorry that you are
in the middle of the problem
- between Mommy and I
- It's okay
No, no, just listen to me, please
I want you to know
that I am sorry for everything
I am sorry that me and your
mommy put you through all this
That you've been like in the center
of our problems, and I don't...
- Dad, I know...
- Listen to me
I love you more than anything
You know that, right?
And... And... And I should have
been there for you, and I wasn't
And I want you to know that
I will always be there for you
no matter what
You know, I'll never, ever miss
a Christmas with you, I promise
So you're not going to be
Santa anymore?
No. No, I am but...
You see Santa Claus is nothing
without his helpers
And I'm here to ask you
if you want to help me out
and come on the sleigh tonight
and, say for the next 30 years?
- I love you!
- I love you, baby
Now, let's get you a coat, okay?
It's going to be pretty cold
- Okay
- Okay, come on, honey
Freeze! Don't move!
What, this again? I'm Santa
Claus, for crying out loud
Yes, for sure, buddy
Like we haven't
heard that one before
I think he bought it
Slippy and Dippy
- Yes and you are late!
- What?
You should have been in Africa...
15 minutes ago
Yes!
Well, you can't talk to me that way
because I'm Santa Claus now
Can't talk to me that...
What?
Sir, you can not talk to me that way
because I am Santa Claus, sir
- That is what I thought
- He gets really
into the role of drill sergeant
- Now, let us move it, people!
- So, how is it going, Santa?
I'm sure he's doing fine. We got
to go! Move it, move it, move it!
Hey, let's sing a song
''Eddie the sucky Santa
had a very sucky life''
''Then he met Dippy and Slippy
now he is doing all right''