Santa Switch (2013) - full transcript

- Make sure that the reindeer
stay away from it, all right?

- Thanks.

- Sir.
Didn't you get my page?

- I'm sorry, what?
- My page.

- Oh, look.
I had it on silent.

- Sir, the time has come for you
to select your Santa substitute.

- Again? Why?

- Well, it's been 36 years.

I mean, the Christmas magic
is beginning to spiral

beyond our ability
to contain it.

The results could be
unpredictable, chaotic.



It's up to you to reset it.
- Mm.

- You have to entrust
Christmas to someone

who's in danger of losing
their Christmas spirit.

- You're right,
you're right, Eddie.

All right, so then how do we
select a candidate these days?

- Rob. Thanks very much.

As we stand here today, there
are 230 million candidates.

Their names are gonna come

scrolling along
this tablet screen.

When you're ready,
you're gonna push "enter,"

and your candidate's name
will be highlighted.

"Enter" when you're ready.

- Uh, bap. Ha-ha.

- Oh. Daniel Ryebeck.



He lives at...

- I know where he lives,
Edward.

I know where they all live.

- Uh, sir.
Two other things.

You're not allowed to perform
any Christmas work

while your substitute
has the title.

Officially you're not
Santa Claus during that time.

- Well, can I visit?

- Well, you're certainly
allowed on the premises.

The other thing is
Mr. Ryebeck...

He must consent of his own
free will to do the job.

- It's never a problem
with me, Eddie.

You know, I have my ways.

- You certainly do, sir.

I'll begin assessing
your initial candidate.

Danny ryebeck.

I remember you well.

- Your mom made that by hand.
- With a little help from Santa.

- Thanks, mom.

- And now that one
is from your father.

- Hope you like it, son.

- Thanks, dad.

- Dan...

I'm sorry we couldn't afford
many presents this year.

But you'll see
when you're a father.

Can't put a price on love.

- And here's
something for you.

- We love you, son.

Okay, there's gotta be
a job in here somewhere.

Bam.

Thanks.
- I know you.

- You're the guy who sold me
my tickets to Hawaii last year.

That was you, huh?

- Yeah, it folded
two months ago.

Hey, buddy.
- Next.

- Yeah, I'll be by to pick up
you and your sister real soon.

By the way, what was the name

of that game you were
talking about?

- Next. Thank you.

- Squire of Wessex. Got it.
And they close when?

Okay. I'll be by soon. Bye.

Oh, um, wow.

I-I have to go.
I'm gonna call to follow up.

I'll call.
- We'll call you.

- Pardon me.

- Merry Christmas, sir.
May I help you with something?

- Yes, I'm looking for
the squire of Wessex video game.

- It's right here
to the right.

- All right.
- Okay.

- And I think my daughter
might like the purple guitar.

- That's a great
beginner's guitar.

Ideal for
the beginning student.

- Really? That'd be great.

Oh, ouch.
- She would love it.

They don't make a finer-looking
instrument, sir.

- Or apparently
a more expensive one.

I will just get the game.

- Okay. That's 17.89.
- All right.

- I'm sorry, sir.

Your card has been declined.

Is there another
you can try?

- Oh, uh...
Huh.

I'll just pay cash.

Okay.

Here you go, sir.

Merry Christmas.

- Yes. Merry Christmas.

- Hey, lady,
if you're really hungry,

there's a soup kitchen
down the street.

Otherwise
the hot dogs are $2.

- 'Scuse me.

I'll buy the young lady
a hot dog.

- Oh.
- All right.

- Thank you.

- Thanks.

- You want onions?

- Yes, please.

- All right,
thank you, Debbie.

- They said I might
find you here.

- Ah. Well?

- Well, he's not
the worst candidate ever.

Yeah, no.

That'd be
Ezra Spindleshanks, 1846.

That man taxed my Patience.

- No, Mr. Ryebeck
is not that person,

but I wonder what skills
he'll bring to the workshop.

- You know, you always
say that, Eddie.

- Nor am I convinced
how he'll react

when we turn the magic
over to him.

- He's gonna make mistakes,

and then he's gonna
figure out how not to.

- Magic is unpredictable
even when you use it.

I mean, chaos theory
started to explain that.

But now I guess
computer search algorithms

are a better parallel.

- It's the human heart
that makes it go, Eddie.

Nothing else.

But I know this.

If you expect
nothing from people

then that's what
you're gonna get.

But if you expect much from them
you're gonna get that too.

Come on.

Have a little faith, Eddie.

You might just be
surprised by Dan ryebeck.

- Yes, sir.

Now with that, I think I need
to meet our Mr. Ryebeck.

And let him know that he's
this year's Santa Claus.

Oh, boy.
This is gonna be great.

- Santa.
- Yeah?

- Make sure you obtain
Mr. Ryebeck's consent.

- No problem.

Hey, gang. I'm here.

- Hey, dad. Come in.

- Come on in here. You're
not too big to give me a hug.

- I've got a joke
for you, dad.

How come Santa
goes down chimneys?

- I don't know.

- Because it "soots" him.
You get it? Soot?

- Ah, I like it. Right here.

Got you a little surprise.

It's the squire of Wessex.

- Oh, but this is the old one.
The one I already have.

- Sorry about that, buddy.
- It's okay.

The new one's hard to find.

Did you want to play?

- I do, but let me
just check this.

All right. Great.
I got the job?

Hey, sweetheart.

- Oh, hi, Dan.
How are things?

- Never better.

- Would you help me outside,

replace a few bulbs
on the front porch?

- Sure.

So many Christmases.

Takes you back, doesn't it?

It sure does.

- Yeah, those were
some carefree times.

- It was.

I spoke with the attorney.

And he wanted to know
if you can

come in and look over
those papers on Friday.

- Yeah. Yeah, I guess.
Wow.

- We've been separated
for a year.

Let's not prolong things.

And like we talked about,
let's not

break it to the kids
till after Christmas.

Yeah, okay.

- Sorry for tooting the horn,
but I have brilliant news.

- What's that?

You're retiring
the word "tooting"?

- Linda, we are
going to represent

the new 220 luxury unit
downtown complex

and it's all because the owners
loved your marketing plan!

Oh!

- Fantastic.

- I always thought
British guys

were supposed to be pale
with bad teeth.

- I guess the London Olympics
rubbed off.

Almost made
the UK diving team.

You should see me in my speedo.
- Take a pass on that.

- I just dropped by
to give you the good news.

- Thanks, but I think everyone
on team Trevor deserves credit.

- Okay, well, thanks for
stopping by, there, team Trevor.

It's been real.
- Right, cheers.

Linda, I'll see you
at the office.

Got a lot of work
to do this week.

Oh, almost forgot.

Saw a few things I thought
your kids might like.

I assume they're
into video games.

I understand these
wireless controllers

are state of the art.

- Oh, Trevor,
you shouldn't have.

- No, really,
you shouldn't have.

- The kids are crazy
for video games.

- Well, no, I really
wouldn't say "crazy for them."

I mean, they'll deal with them,
I guess.

- Mom, can Joe and I
go next door

to see the Hendersons' tree?

- Oh, sure.

But Mr. Winthrop
brought you these gifts.

- Thanks, Mr. Winthrop.
- Call me Trevor. Trevs.

- Yeah, okay. Thanks.

Come on.

- Ah, the wonders of youth.

Well, I guess
I'd better be toddling off.

Linda, I'll see you
at the office.

Cheerio, Dan.

- Cheerio, trevs.

Try not to crash that pretty
little car of yours.

- Ha!

- Next time I'd appreciate it
if you don't

get into a chest thumping
contest with my boss.

- He's lucky I didn't
take it to the next level.

- See you later, Dan.

And remember, seven days
till we sign those papers.

- All right. Seven days.

Seven days.

Seven days to get you
to change your mind.

- Ho, ho! Santa is here!

Okay, who's next
to see Santa?

- Me.
- Oh, come on, now.

Oh, ho. And what is your name,
little fella?

- Allan.

- And Allan, have you been
a good little boy?

- Your jacket's not
buttoned up right.

- I have been in the sleigh
for many hours,

and I haven't had a chance
to check my mirror.

So what would you like
for Christmas?

- I think we both know
that you're not the real Santa.

- Let's...let's...
Let's stay on target here.

- Hey, you're the guy
that lives near me

in that apartment off main.
- Nope. Nope.

- You're the guy that always
listens to violin music

and cries at night.

- That's it, okay?
- Santa.

- Oh, ho!

'Scuse us.

Someone needs a refresher course
in Santa 101.

Firstly, Santa is jolly

and answers all adversity
with a "ho, ho, ho."

- But that little kid...
- Number two...

Santa sticks to the script.
- Right.

- Dad?

- Uh...

Hey, Sally.

- Come on, let's go.
Just go.

- Sally, wait.
My daughter.

- Sally!
- Turn in your beard.

Great.

- ♪ ...third day of Christmas
my true love sent to me ♪

♪ three French hens,
two turtledoves ♪

♪ and a partridge
in a pear tree ♪

♪ on the fourth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me ♪

- What?

- ♪ Four calling birds,
three French hens... ♪

- Expired tags?

I don't have expired tags.

Expired tags!

When did that happen?

August.

No. No, no, no, no, no!

Oh, come on!

So I had some unpaid tickets.
Come on, guys.

I was gonna pay them.

- Hey. What will it be?

- Give me something
strong enough

to forget about Christmas.

- A hot toddy
should do the trick.

I'm gonna go heat up some water.
I'll be back in a few minutes.

- Forget about Christmas?

Why ever would somebody
want to do that?

- Huh?

- Why would anybody
ever want to forget

about the happiest
day of the year?

- Well, maybe because
Christmas is one big letdown.

Nonsense.

- It's the holidays, right?

So let's just
agree to disagree

and I'll buy you one
of whatever you're having, okay?

- Well, hot chocolate with mint
and a dash of yuletide.

- Right.

- Look, Christmas isn't always
perfect on the surface.

But disappointing? Never.

- Hey, don't you have
a Christmas wish?

- Yeah.
Get my family back.

- Well, anything's possible
at Christmas, Dan.

- How'd you know my name?

- Uh, you said it, didn't you?

- Oh. Yeah, I guess I did.

- You know, it seems to me that
you have issues with Christmas.

Yeah, well, that's
an understatement.

I do have issues
with Christmas.

I got issues with not being able
to give my kids what I want to.

Never being able
to deliver enough.

I got issues with my booted car,
the fact that I just got fired

and that my marriage
is on the rocks.

So yeah, I got
a few problems with the whole,

"happy holidays,
Santa saves the day" deal.

- So maybe you think
you could do a better job of it?

- You bet I could.
I'll see you around, pops.

You enjoy Christmas
any way you want.

As far as I'm concerned,
January can't come soon enough.

See you around.

- Taxi.

Interesting decor.

- 550 main street.

- Well.

Fancy seeing you again.

- You're faster
than you look.

- You complained
about Christmas all night.

And you said you could do it
better than St. Nick himself.

Well, I'm St. Nick.

- Oh, you're...
Okay. All right.

Boy, I sure could use
a vacation.

- Let me out.

- Done.

And fare's on me.

- Thank goodness.

Whoa.

- That...that's my building.
- Yeah.

- I didn't even
feel the car move.

- Good night.

- And good night to you.

- And thanks. I really
appreciate you helping me.

Santa.

Any time.

- I'm outta here.

- Where you going?
- Vacation.

The missus wanted to go
someplace warm, sunny.

Don't tell anybody,
but we went with Bimini.

- Well, what about Dan?
What about Christmas?

- Well, you told me
I couldn't work so I'm not.

This year it's your show.

And of course Dan's.

- But what if he
misuses the Santa car?

- Oh, he will.

- What if he focuses
on his own problems

and completely
ignores Christmas?

- Well, that's practically
guaranteed.

- Well, how am I
supposed to manage that?

- The same way you manage
everything, Eddie.

Come on, you've always
done the real work.

As long as I can remember.
- Yes, sir.

- Well, the missus and I
have gotta catch a plane.

Well, merry Christmas, Eddie.

And don't call me.

- Yes. Yes, happy holidays,
parking enforcement.

Who do I talk to about
getting a boot off my car?

- I really hope I get
those alpine skis.

- 'Scuse me?

- I want a motorized starship
with a blaster.

- I'd love
a 16 gigabyte smartphone.

- You know what,
I'll call back. Thank you.

I'm sorry, I was on the phone.

Were you talking to me...
No, you were not.

- I hope he gets me the ring.
- That's the model I want.

- I want those boots.
I really, really want them.

- Um, you want those boots?

I think you should
get those boots.

I think they'd look
very good on you.

- Hey, buddy.
What's the big idea?

You hitting on my girl?

- No, not at all.
I thought she was talking.

- Yeah, get outta here.

- I don't remember
where I parked the car.

No, I don't know.

- No, I'm not...
Yes, you are hearing things.

No, you are not.

- Look at that guy
talking to himself over there.

- This is stress.

- Is that...
- Dad?

- Hey, kids,
let's buy some DVDs.

- Okay.

- I really want that bike.
I really want it.

- Gift certificate
I can get those...

- I'm gonna ask Santa for it.

- Train I had when I was a boy.
- Ask for the bonus so I can...

- I gotta get outta here.
- ...Tree topper.

- ...have a pink one of these.
- You okay, sir?

- Yeah. Migraine.

I'd like to exchange
this game for the new one.

- Okay.
- And, um, here's the receipt.

- Okay. Welcome back.

Okay, with the return
on the old one,

that's an additional 34.95.

- Really? 34.95 more?

- Yes, sir.

- Uh-huh.

What...what's this?

We take plastic.

Santa card, huh?

- Great bank.

- Mm-hmm.

- Went through fine.

- That pickpocketing,
crazy old coot.

- I'm sorry, sir?
- Nothing.

Just have to find a guy who
played a little trick on me.

Thanks. Oh, and, uh,
put the guitar on hold for me.

- Will do.

Merry Christmas, sir.
- Yes. Merry Christmas.

Excuse me. You remember the guy
I was talking to last night?

White beard,
a little on the round side?

- No, sir.

- We were sitting right there.
Glasses.

You don't remember?

- I remember you
talking to yourself.

We get a lot of that
during the holidays.

No.

No, that can't be.

Things have been
a little weird.

- Mr. Ryebeck?

Yeah. No, no.

Hi. I'm sorry, I didn't
mean to startle you.

My name is Eddie.

I'm Mr. Kringle's
personal assistant.

Don't...don't go anywhere.

Just wait there
just a moment.

- I'll be with you
in a minute.

- No hurry.

Sorry about that,
I was on my way to see you

and I got tangled up
in the TV signal.

Just shows you what a terrible
sense of direction I have.

- How'd you do that?

- That? That was just a little
bit of Christmas magic.

You see, I'm an elf.
A Christmas elf.

Now since Kris is on vacation
and he's put you in charge,

I'm not too proud to admit

we've been a little
Topsy-turvy,

we've been like a ship
without a captain.

More specifically
a sleigh without a driver.

We've got so little to do
and so much time.

So much time
and so little to do. Wait.

We have so much to do
and so little time to do it

you are expected
at the north pole.

- Oh. The north pole.

Well, why didn't you say so?

Sure.
- Great.

We're not allowed
to interfere with free will,

but since you said yes, hold on.

This may tickle.

- May I have your attention,
everyone?

I would like to introduce
Mr. Daniel ryebeck.

Let's give him a warm welcome.

- This is crazy.
Where am I?

- The north pole.
Santa's office, of course.

Eddie, where'd you find
this guy? On a turnip truck?

- Okay, mm-hmm.

I want to talk
to the man in charge.

- We better get started.
- Is Santa pulling another joke?

- I remember the time
he said we were

switching from reindeers
to roosters.

That was so humiliating.

- This is not a joke.

These are your
naughty and nice glasses.

You've already been given
your Santa card,

so the only thing
left to do is show you

the orientation video.

So, you're Santa.

I know, it's crazy.

You're probably freaked out.

That's all right.

All you have to do is follow
a few simple Santa rules.

Rule number one.

As Santa it is your mission to
deliver Christmas for the world.

- Okay.
- No, sit down, shh, shh.

- Use your Santa power wisely.

With a simple snap of your
finger you can make it snow.

With your Santa Midas touch,

you'll have Christmas
at your fingers.

Rub your hands together, you can
make music, magic, or mistletoe.

Rule number three, only use your
Santa card in case of emergency.

Rule number four, all elves
must obey your every command.

Oh, this is
nutty as a fruitcake.

- Clearly,
someone needs to have

a word with the big man
himself about this.

Call him on his cell.
- Absolutely not.

Santa was crystal clear
about this.

Mr. Ryebeck is in charge.

Now, Dan. Dan.

I'm sure you have
many questions.

Now, I have been Santa's
executive assistant

for a very long time.

So feel free to ask me
anything you want.

- Here's one. Is this real?

- Yup.

- So rule number four,
elves must obey?

- That's right.

- Here's an order.
Get me outta here.

Okay, Wha...
What just happened?

- Oh, I missed again.
I was trying to get us inside.

- What, are you a hypnotist?

- No, I eat almost anything.

- Okay, you just
leave me alone.

I'm clearly dreaming.
Just need a coffee. Yeah.

- With your Santa Midas touch

you'll have Christmas
at your fingers.

- That was amazing.

- Yes.
Yeah, that was amazing.

- How'd you do that?

- Christmas magic.

- Whatever.

Maybe...

Maybe I'm not dreaming.

Hi. I'd like a latte and that
entire basket of candy canes.

Oh, uh, do you
take Santa card?

Here you go.
A candy cane for you, sir.

And one for you. Happy holidays.
- Thank you.

- Merry Christmas. Free candy
canes for one and all.

'Scuse me, sir, candy cane
for you. Merry Christmas.

Oh...

- Is this your car?

- You got something to say
about me towing your car?

- No. No, just...

Just that you have been
exceptionally good.

And you deserve
those Italian pumps.

- Thanks. I think so too.

But how did you know?

- Lucky guess.

Merry Christmas.

- Yes. Merry Christmas also.

Oh, and take care of those
parking tickets.

I could get used to this.

- Dan.

- Holy cow, Eddie,
don't sneak up on me like that.

- Look at this. Look at it.
What do you see?

- Multicolored squiggly lines
on a graph?

- Those multicolored
squiggly lines

are the magic
in a nosedive.

You've been here
for five minutes.

You're already abusing
the system. Knock it off.

- Knock what off?
- Misusing the magic.

It's not there
as your plaything.

It is the power that allows

stockings to be stuffed the
world over in a single night.

- This is too
powerful of a tool

not to be leveraged
a little bit.

- Exactly,
which is why your whims,

not to mention the illegal
activity of ticket fixing,

are not the founding principles
that the magic was founded on.

- Sorry. I gotta go.
- No, hold on.

You have a Santa suit
fitting in 30 minutes.

Where do you think
you're going?

- I gotta get these gifts
to my kids.

- Make it snappy.

Hey.

- Dan, are you okay?

- Linda,
I am better than okay.

I just had the most
amazing morning ever.

Kids, hey, come over here.

I have a little Pre-Christmas
surprise for you.

There you go, buddy.

- Dad! You found the new one!
- You bet I did, kiddo.

And this is for you.

- Dad, you bought it?

- Yes, I did.

Awesome.

- Dan, what's this all about?

- My ship...Sleigh came in.

- But Dan, you can't
afford these things.

- Yes I can, Linda.
And...

I got a little something
for you too.

Huh? What do you think?

- We'll talk
about this later.

The sitter's gonna
be here any minute

and I have to meet with Trevor
to tour the new property.

Trevor, I...Really, again?
- Yeah, Trevor.

He's my boss.

We have to tour the new property
before new year's.

We have a ton to do
to make it look presentable

and this week
is gonna be crazy.

- Okay, then...
Then let me help you.

- What are you talking about?
- Whatever you need.

I want to help share the load.

In fact, I would like
your permission

to spend a little
extra time with the kids

'cause I want to give them

the best Christmas
they have ever had.

- But I thought
you didn't like Christmas.

And with your
new mall Santa job

and all the other projects
you always get up to

I hired babysitters
for the rest of the week.

- Well, hey, cancel them all.

'Cause that is all
about to change.

In fact, why don't I take
the kids off your hands tonight?

- Sure, you're on.

- Yeah.

Linda, it is going to be
a very merry Christmas.

Oh, I'm gonna be late.

I gotta get fitted
for my Santa suit.

Joe, bye, buddy.
Bye, Sally!

Where's Eddie?

He'll be back in a minute.

First we gotta
get you suited up.

You're a lot thinner
than Kris.

You should try some of my aunt
Fanny's apple pie.

That should put
some more meat on your bones.

People expect
a jolly, fat Santa.

And where is your beard?

You're not even
trying to grow one.

I'll be back to finish
your fitting.

- All right, I have the owner's
manual to Santa's sleigh.

You better start reading it.

The sleigh is powered by
the north pole's magnetic field

so you have to have a working
knowledge of astrophysics.

- What about the reindeer?
- No, no, no, no.

They are used only
for emergency backup purposes.

Santa just likes them there
for tradition.

- Oh.

- All right,
what we have now is

the latest letters to Santa
for your attention.

- Wait. I have an idea.

This year everybody
gets whatever they want.

- Well, no, you have to
cross-check the letters

against the naughty
and nice list.

- Nobody's naughty.
Everybody gets a break.

- But...

- Look, I have seen a lot
of disappointment in my life.

This year no one
gets disappointed. Understood?

- Fine, then I'm gonna
need your authorization

to bring in more elves.

- Yeah, sure,
whatever it takes.

More the merrier, just make sure
they're well paid.

- We're paid in cookies.

- Okay, good,
so we got that covered.

Just take me home.

- This is your new home.

- No, no,
I need to go home-home.

- Dan, you are Santa.

- I have a very special
Christmas wish

I have to fulfill.

- And what's that?

- I have to win back
my family.

And I'm running out of time.

- And what about Christmas
for the rest of the planet?

- Well, like I said,
everything for everyone.

You got that covered, right?

Good, okay. Gotta go.

Sparkle me back,
or whatever you do.

Now.

- Oy Vey.

- Oy Vey?

- I'm a Hanukkah elf too,
on my father's side.

Oh!

Eddie!

Eddie, you really need
to work on your sparkling.

All right.

Get to work, Santa.

- I'm sorry to bother you, sir.
I just...

I'm worried that Mr. Ryebeck
isn't gonna work out.

- Just give him time, Eddie.
Just give him time.

Hot, hot.

Merry Christmas, Linda.

- Hello, Dan.
What's with the Santa suit?

- I am just
getting in the spirit

for my mall Santa job.

- Hey, slick. What's up, Sally?
You guys ready to go?

- Where are you off to?

- We are gonna have
a little surprise.

Joe, do you got
the video game?

- In my backpack.

- All right. Come on, gang.

- Bye.

- Okay, come on in.

No peeking.

Ready? Uncover your eyes.

Ta-dah!

- Wow.

- You see all those presents
over there?

They're all yours.

- All of them?
- All of them.

It's every gift
you've ever wanted.

From every Christmas list you've
written in the past five years.

- Whoa.

- Come on,
what're you waiting for?

Go, your presents await.

- ♪ hey Santa time to jump
on your big old sleigh ♪

♪ you got a lot of toys
to deliver by Christmas day ♪

♪ come on Santa it's almost
Christmas time again ♪

♪ you had all year to make
the toys for the kids ♪

♪ in all that time
we don't know what you did ♪

- Waah!

Whoo.

I need a break.

Oh, and by the way,
that video game controller

is a lot more advanced than
that old one Trevor got you.

- Hey, Sally,
you want to come join us?

- No, thanks, dad.

- Want anything to drink?

Warm cider? Egg nog?
Juice box?

- Dad, please.

- You know, dad,
it's fun to have time

to just hang out with you.

But there's something
different about you.

- Well maybe you ought to
mention that to mom.

- I'll tell her
as soon as she gets home.

Want to play
squire of Wessex?

- I sure do.

When she gets home?
Where is she?

- Mom went out to dinner
with her boss.

- Oh, dinner.
With Trevor.

- Eh, yeah.

Hey, you want to play
squire of Wessex now?

- Hold that thought,
little buddy.

I will be right back.

Hello, Dan.

- Eddie,
where the heck are ya?

- I'm in the north pole
doing your job.

- You keep tabs on everybody,
right?

- So?

- Linda is out to dinner
with her boss

at a French restaurant.

I mean, do the math.

His name is Trevor Winthrop.

I want you to check the naughty
list, what do you got?

- That is a flagrant misuse
of the naughty list.

Mr. Kringle
would never approve it.

- Eddie, never mess with the man
who passes out the cookies.

- Oh, okay, you just want me
to break rule ten.

Trevor Winthrop.

He's an Oxford graduate,
a cricket star,

and he does a lot of pro Bono
work for different charities.

- Cricket? All right,
what about the bad stuff?

- There's nothing bad.
He's a pretty amazing guy.

- Okay, well, where is
this amazing guy now?

- Oh, you don't want me
to just break into his file,

you actually want me
to track him, sure.

I don't see anything
wrong with that.

Let me just go ahead
and do that for you.

He's at the corner of main
street and third, heading west.

- I want you to get down here
now, to my apartment.

I need your help.
And that's an order.

- You get a little
taste of power...

- Hey, Sal, Joe.

I've got a little
errand to run.

I'll be back in two shakes
of a reindeer's tail.

- But dad, you said we were
gonna play squire of Wessex.

- I know, pal, I'm sorry.

My buddy's gonna stop by,
babysit.

He'll be happy
to play with you.

- Dad, babysit? I'm 14.

Sal...

Yeah, that's him.

Come in.

- I may have taken out
your neighbor's decorations

by accident.

- Guys, this is my friend Eddie.
- Hi, kids.

- He's gonna look out for you
while I'm gone.

He is?

- I'll be back faster than a
partridge can find a pear tree.

Do me a favor, just clean
the place up a little bit, okay?

- Well...

Heh.

- Thank you
for coming tonight.

I wanted to talk to you
about your future.

Now, a new year
means a fresh start.

New opportunities.

- Oh, well,
I've certainly enjoyed

working for the firm this year,
and I hope to continue to do so.

- Well, see, I think you haven't
been fully appreciated.

- Oh, I've never
felt that way.

- You're the whole package,
Linda.

Smarts, tenacity, style.
- Thank you.

- And the way you landed
riverside towers, top notch.

And I think that you're
cut out for something more.

- Oh?

Oh, well...

Thank you.

What is it?

- Well, it...

Um, that's a piece of coal.

It was a diamond,
but it's a piece of coal.

- I should get going.

I'm telling you, there was
a diamond when I bought it.

I'm still not quite sure
what happened there.

- Huh. Yeah, well,
caveat emptor.

Black goes
with everything, right?

- I-I should go.

Look, Trevor,
you're a great guy.

But you're my boss.

And as if that weren't
awkward enough

I mean, sometimes
I catch myself thinking

there might still be
a chance with Dan

and...
- I understand. Completely.

And it's just
an opinion, but...

I think you deserve someone

who can treat you like
the royalty that you are.

- Well, thanks.

- Ooh, you're shivering.
Cold?

- A little.

- I'll make it really cold.

- It's snowing.

- Maybe we'll have
a white Christmas.

- It seems pretty localized.

Like just in front
of this building.

- I don't remember that
in the forecast.

- I should be getting home.

- Good-bye.

Taxi.

- Hey, merry Christmas.

- Hey, what's going on?

Why aren't you upstairs
watching my kids?

- They haven't
lifted their heads

from their video game
since you left, they're fine.

You are in a tailspin.
- What are you talking about?

- You're all about
personal gain again.

- I don't know what you mean.

- You turned a wheel lock
into a wreath.

You took a diamond and changed
it into a piece of coal.

- That was pretty good,
right?

- You gotta stop.

You're putting things
so far out of alignment

we'll be lucky
to deliver Christmas.

- I don't understand.

- When you use
Christmas magic selfishly,

it makes it less stable,

more prone to accidents
and mishaps.

It makes it harder
for us to work.

And you know what else?

We need you to show up
and be Santa clause this year.

- It's a lot to ask from...

From an out-of-work
travel agent.

- You just gotta show up.

- All right.

All right.

Night.

- Dan, one more thing.

When you use Christmas magic
to buy your family's love,

it not only weakens the magic.

It makes it harder
to actually mend with them.

- Look, I gotta get the kids
back to Linda's place.

Thanks.

Hey, mom.

- Hi, kids.

- So how was your evening?

- Odd.
I got caught in the

blizzard of the century, among
other things.

- I saw that on the news.
Crazy, huh?

- I hope your evening
was better than mine was.

- Kids and I...
- It was very interesting.

We got to meet
a new babysitter.

- Yeah, I had to pop out
for, like, 30 minutes or so

to run some errands.

Left the kids
with my friend Eddie.

- Dan, you left the kids
with a stranger?

- No, he's not a stranger,
he's a good friend.

And he's really
good with kids.

Might even qualify
as an expert.

Besides, I had something
very important to do.

- Dan, not more gifts.
- Look, Linda...

Something big has happened
and I think

we should get together
to discuss it.

- What is this?
- Open it.

It's an invitation.
- Dan.

- Oh, come on.
It's one dinner.

I'll sign the papers
after the holidays,

so one dinner's not gonna
make a difference.

- I don't know, I have a lot on
my mind and a lot on my plate.

- Come on,
you come over tomorrow

I'll explain everything
that's been going on.

- I don't know.
- Do not make me beg here.

The kids will see that.
That will not be good.

- Fine.
- Tomorrow night. Great.

All right. Bye, kids.

Bye, dad.

- Oh, dear, oh, dear,
oh, dear, oh, dear.

- What? Are you
counting reindeer?

- I'm going over
the fulfillment reports.

This whole
"everyone gets everything"

is backing up
our system big time.

- I understand,
but Santa was explicit.

Follow Mr. Ryebeck's orders
and hope for the best.

- We're like
a rudderless sleigh.

- ...careening down a mountain.
- ...Made of powdered sugar.

- Why do you have to put
a positive spin on everything?

- You know what, I'm gonna
go check in on the new boss.

I haven't seen him
since last night.

- So...

What do you think?

Blazer or...

Just the shirt?

- You're wasting time.
Christmas is four days away.

We have shipments to track
and schedules to keep.

- Mm-hmm. And how those
new elves working out?

- They're putting in
a lot of overtime

but they're getting
cookies and a half.

- Perfect.

- Yeah, until we
run out of cookies.

- What happens then?

- Imagine the world's
largest sugar crash.

And we have a new problem.

The distribution centers...
They're overwhelmed worldwide.

Have you seriously considered
the consequences

of giving everyone
everything they ask for?

- Let's see, joy, happiness,
dancing in the streets?

Sounds horrible.
You worry too much.

- You might want
to rethink that.

- Eddie, I've got important
things to focus on.

Help me out here. Spruce up
the windows or something.

- What are you doing?

- I am recreating my perfect
first date with Linda.

I am gonna blow her away.
Just like I did back in the day.

- We have Christmas.

Dan, you're Santa.

- Okay, champagne on ice,
check.

Lobster thermidor
in the oven and...

A little Sinatra
for music. Huh?

It's her favorite.
What do you think?

- I think I'm gonna
head back to the north pole

and try and hold down
the fort.

You have to come by tonight
after all this. Or else.

- Okay, okay, good, just go.

- Rob, update.

- Sir.

- Is that accurate?
- Mm-hmm.

- Well, get a rapid action team
on that right away.

Deb!
- Sir?

- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

- I am on a moonlight walk
with my missus, Eddie.

- Oh, I'm sorry, sir,
but this is urgent.

An hour ago an entire toy cache
destined for Gloucester, England

was delivered at the bottom
of the Marianas trench.

- The glitch can be directly
attributed to Mr. Ryebeck's imu.

- Imu?
- Inappropriate magic usage.

- Marianas trench, huh?

Well, that's abysmal.

- Abysmal.
- To say the least, sir...

Dan has misused the Christmas
magic so much and so often

I think it might collapse.

- All right, well,
here's my decision...

Carry on with Dan.
He is your Santa this year.

And don't be so glum, Eddie.
- Well...

- Most c-days go off
without a hitch.

This one will too.

Now you have a cache of toys

under 36,000 feet of water
that you need to deal with,

and I have a little stroll
to finish.

Oh, and Eddie?
- Yes, sir.

- Don't call me again.

- What? Wait.

Sir, wait!

Great. Here we go.

It's a good thing those
toy pallets are waterproof.

- Hi.
- Hi.

The place looks great.

- Linda, you look phenomenal.

- I'm just coming from work.

- Well, I hope you brought
your appetite

because I cooked up lobsters,
your favorite.

- Oh, that's not necessary.
- Well, why not?

Reminds me of that time
we both surprised each other

and brought home lobsters.

- Good thing I was pregnant
with Joe at the time

and eating for two,
as I recall.

- He does love his lobster,
doesn't he?

Come on in.

No reason we can't catch up
over a nice dinner

away from all
the distractions.

Goodness knows
I've been a little

preoccupied with my projects.

But that all stops now.

- Great.

And wow. I mean,
you really decorated.

The kids told me
it looked amazing.

- Well, why not?

Here, sit.

And, uh...Oh, some music.

Look at that. Sinatra.

- ♪ Jolly old St. Nicholas ♪

♪ lean your ear this way ♪
- that's strange.

It says Sinatra on the jacket.
- ♪ don't you tell ♪

♪ a single soul ♪

- Hold on a second.
- ♪ what I'm gonna say ♪

- I can't hear you.

- Old thing's on the Fritz.

Anyway.

Would you care
for some champagne?

- Sure.

- Whoa! Whoa.

Sorry about that. Here.

- This smells like egg nog.

- It says champagne.

- You know, maybe this
wasn't such a good idea.

- Oh. No, Linda.

You can't leave. I've cooked
up your favorite dish.

Lobster thermidor. Voila!

- The lobster
looks like fruitcake.

Is this funny to you?

- No, it's...

- I'm gonna get going.

- Wait, Linda, no,
I can explain this.

...i think.

Wait, Linda, hold on.

No, wait, Linda, don't go.

At least take these presents
for the kids.

- No more presents, Dan.

Good night.

- Well, that could've
gone better.

I mean, what the heck
was that?

Santa songs for Sinatra?
Egg nog for champagne?

- It's your Christmas
Midas thing, remember?

You're lucky your underpants
didn't turn into Holly.

- The date with Linda
was a complete fiasco.

- You know what?
Stop whining.

There's three days
till Christmas.

You have to start making things
run smoothly around here

and honor your commitment.

- Commitment?

Eddie, I am trying
to win back my family, here.

Okay, I'm running out of time.

The date with Linda
was a train wreck.

My kids are treating me
like a stranger.

My family is slipping
away from me.

It's like everything
I'm trying is backfiring.

I need to talk to Kris.

- He's on vacation in Bimini.
Oh!

Wasn't supposed to say Bimini.

- Get him on the phone.
Please.

- I know that he has
a reputation for being cheery,

but trust me,
he's a guy you don't

want to bother
when on vacation.

- Rule number four: An elf
cannot refuse Santa's request.

- You're gonna invoke
rule number four?

- Right,
let me tell you something.

He's not gonna like this.

- Just do it.

- Sit down.

Not there. Over here.

You sure you want to do this?

- Eddie, this better be
important.

- Sir, he invoked
rule number four.

- Hey, Dan.

How's it going?

Take it you're
enjoying your new job?

- Well, um...
- Well, I know I certainly

am enjoying myself.

Except for
the Parasailing accident.

I gotta lose a little weight.

- Uh, look, Kris, you got me
into this. I need some help.

- Yeah...
- Why is it that everybody

is yelling into my ear
what they want for Christmas

and yet I can't even tune
into what my own family needs?

- Kris?

Oh.

Sorry, Dan. I just got
a little sea water in my ear.

So, Dan...

What I'm thinking here
is that your emotions

are clouding
your Santa senses.

- Okay.
So what do I need to do?

- It's an art, Dan.

I mean, it's like
driving a sled in the dark

or...

Getting a 44-inch waist

down into a 32-inch chimney.

Don't worry about it.

You'll get the hang of it.

Just cheer up.

- But the truth is in a few days
I'm gonna lose my family.

Like a snowflake in a Gale.

- Well, you know, Christmas
magic is very powerful.

But there's a greater magic
right there.

- So what does that mean?

- It means, Dan,
that you're just not

going about all of this
in the right way.

- Well, I must be because
if I can finally get my family

everything they've ever wanted,

I can prove to them I'm the hero
I've always wanted to be

and not just some failure

and things are still
not going my way.

- Well, your intentions
are great, Dan.

But you're so busy showing off
and trying to be the hero

that you don't have time
to just be a father.

A real gift is not a toy.

It's your genuine love.

- Yeah.

I-I think I get that.
Thank you.

- Well, if we're done here.

- Yes, sir.

- I've got to get back
to my vacation.

Cowabunga! Whoa!

- Well, boss,
what do you want to do?

- You know, I think
you should take me home.

- What's with the picture?

- I remember being so
disappointed with that sweater.

Seeing the picture,
I look so happy.

- That's because you were.

You may not have gotten
the presents that you wanted,

but your parents gave you
a pretty amazing gift every day.

I mean, of all the places
in the world

there's nowhere that this family
would rather be than together.

In the north pole,
we call that love.

- Yeah.

I intend to get my family
that gift too.

Oh, Eddie, one more thing.

I think I owe you an apology.

I have been a lousy manager.

But...

That all changes.

- Cookies?

For me?

- Well, they were
just baked potatoes,

but with the Christmas
Midas touch...

All right,
let's get a move on.

We got a Christmas
to make happen.

- Can we finish
the cookies first?

- All right,
what's the situation?

- Well, not good.

The clock is ticking,
manufacturing's behind,

and morale is crumbling
like a gingerbread.

And the word in the elf
break room is you're a pushover.

- Pushover?
What do they mean by that?

You haven't been
working very hard.

Which means the elves don't
think they have to work hard.

All right, what can I say?

You give an elf an inch,
they take a Christmas mile.

And a Christmas mile
is 3.14 human miles.

- 3.14...isn't that pi?

- Really? Right now?
With everything going on

you're gonna think about holiday
food?

You have a meeting
right now.

Elves...

Where do we stand?

- The supply lines
are all backed up.

I got an order for 10 million
buster bowwow dolls

so I shifted manpower
to handle it.

And now I find out
it was a clerical error!

- Someone hacked the database

and took the chocolate machines
offline.

That means all cocoa-based
stocking stuffers

are running late.

- So blitzen's got symptoms
that could be hoof-and-mouth.

- And maintenance didn't replace
the non-stick floor tiles

like I requested

so now I have baking elves
slipping on melted butter!

- Hold it!

I'm in charge here.

Come on, guys.

Let's remember
our priorities here.

We are responsible

for delivering happiness
to over 500 million kids.

Guys, I need you.
I can't do this alone.

You know, when I was a kid,

Christmas was always
a disappointment.

But now when I think
of disappointing even one child,

no.

No, that is not happening.

Not on my watch.

So listen up.

I want progress reports
from each and every one of you

by the end of the day.

I want to know your specific
benchmarks for your team

and I want to know
exactly how

we're going to
achieve our goals.

In the meantime,
I'm gonna draw up a battle plan.

Oh, and, uh, one more thing.

I brought along
a little motivation.

- Enjoy.

Okay.

- All right, team.
Let's do this.

- Saw what you did there.

- Oh. Sorry.
- What for?

- Well, for using
the magic like that.

- That's how it's
supposed to be used.

What does it profit you
to decorate

Linda and Trevor's place
like that?

Nothing.

- Yeah. I guess
I'm getting good at this.

- Yes, sir, you are.

- All right, let's go.
- Where are we going?

- Well, didn't you
come down here to get me

so we could go back to work?

- I just came
down here to tell you

that I think you're
doing a great job.

In fact, can I show you
something?

- What am I looking at?

- This is magic metrics.

Or a Christmas analytics,
if you will.

- In English, please.

- It basically says
that everything's okay.

The magic is right
where we need it to be

to deliver Christmas.
- Great.

- Which is to say we don't
think we need you tonight.

Why don't you go spend time
with your family?

You've earned it.
- I...Thanks, Eddie.

- Come in.

- Hey.

- Dan, you look exhausted.

- I'm doing double duty
with my mall Santa job.

- Must be a busy mall.

- The kids'll be down
in just a minute.

- Great.

You seem happy.

- Yeah, well, last night
somebody vandalized...

Or should I say decorated
the property we were showing

and today we got
a huge turnout.

- Imagine that.

Well, congratulations.

Hey, I just wanted
to take a moment to apologize.

Dinner at my place
went a little off kilter.

So much has been happening

I just...
My head was spinning.

- It's okay.

- And one last thing.

I was thinking it'd be really
nice if we could get together

as a family and do something
like we used to.

I think it'd be
good for the kids.

- Dan, I don't know.

- No, no, no more gifts
or anything like that,

just quality time
with the family

and the spirit of Christmas.

You remember all the fun
we used to have.

The ice skating and caroling
and tree trimming.

What happened to that?

- I guess everything
fell by the wayside

while we were trying
to keep everything else going.

Kids have been bounced
in between our houses

like a couple
of ping-pong balls.

- Yeah. So tomorrow night?

Ice skating?
They would love it.

- Fine.
- Great.

- See you later.
- You going out to Trev's?

His name is Trevor, Dan.

And yes, he's my boss.

We have a lot of work
this week, so...

- Okay.

Have a great time.

- Thanks, Dan.

- Kids, come on,
we gotta go!

All right.

Let's get outta here.

Come on.

Okay, guys.

Tonight is gonna be great.

'Cause guess what
we're gonna do.

- More shopping?

- No.

- What, are you gonna
buy us more gifts?

- No again.

We are gonna have
an old-fashioned Christmas.

Because as your grandpa
ryebeck used to say,

you can't put a price on love.

- What happened
to your big tree?

- Oh, well, the neighbor
couldn't afford one

so I gave it to her.
I got this little guy.

- Dad, this tree looks like it
should be put out of its misery.

- What? Come on. All this needs
is a little decoration.

Watch.

- Quality.

- Dad, I'll help you
decorate your tree.

- All right, decorations
are on the counter.

- ♪ deck the halls
with boughs of Holly ♪

♪ fa la-la la-la,
la-la la-la la-la ♪

♪ 'Tis the season
to be jolly ♪

♪ fa la-la la-la,
la-la la-la la-la-la ♪

♪ Don we now
our gay apparel ♪

♪ fa la la la la la la
la-la la-la ♪

♪ troll the ancient
yuletide Carol ♪

♪ fa la-la la-la,
la-la... ♪

- Oh, that hurt.
- Yes!

- Oh, I got a bow and arrow.

- Flames coming, flames...
Wait, wait.

What's...ow!

Whoa, that hurt, Joe.
- Yeah, oh!

- Yes!

- Oh! All right, all right,
I surrender. You two win.

- See, Joe?

That's why forming alliances
with your sister is smart.

Because we owned dad.

- I would say that's true
if I didn't let you two win.

- Sure, dad.

The trick to winning
is to think outside the box.

Why swim the moat
or scale the walls

when you could catapult in?

Want to play again?

- Uh, no thank you.

- I can't believe
you haven't even

checked your messages
in four hours.

- Oh, I should do
a quick check-in.

And then I'll just
turn it right back off.

- Dude, dad,
I dig your new ringtone.

- Oh, thank you.

Gotta get back to work.

After I make some hot cocoa.

I'll be right back.

- Hey, do you think
he let us win?

- No, I think we beat him
fair and square.

- No cocoa.

- I'm telling you,
dad's different.

Suddenly he's crazy
for Christmas.

Doesn't he seem a little
overly merry to you?

- Yeah, mom said
that he would be

taking this mall
Santa job seriously,

but I never expected this.

- Look, I saw him make cocoa
out of tap water.

- What, do you want him
to use bottled water?

- That's not what I mean.
It was magic.

My theory...
I think dad's Santa.

- Okay, kiddo.

It's time for you to go to bed
before mom hears you

talking like this and assumes
that you have a fever.

- Seriously.
Look at the evidence.

He's able to give any gift
and he's super jolly.

- Dad's a mall Santa, Joe.
Big difference.

- You see him
driving reindeer,

you owe me big time.

You'll see.

- I gotta hand it to you,

you're not half the manager
that Mr. Kringle is,

but you're getting
the hang of this.

- Coming from you
that's high praise.

- Not out of the woods yet.

Just make sure
that before you leave

you check the transit schedule.

- What transit schedules?

- These transit schedules.

From all the different
divisions.

- Games, dolls, wind-ups.

It's the last thing we check.

- Wait, I'm supposed to go
ice skating with my family soon.

- Just make sure
there's no overlap

in the delivery schedules
and routes.

- Okay, and make sure you sign
off on everything

after you've had a chance
to review them all.

Have fun.

- There's more, sir.
- More?

I'll catch up later.

- Hello.

- I thought dad was supposed to
come skating with us.

Bet you he isn't gonna show up.

- Hey, gang.

- Hey.

Since when did you get so good?

- Well, just something
I picked up along the way.

Come on, guys.

- Dan, I said
no more presents.

- It's not a present,
it's a gift.

- Well, it's been years
since I skated.

- You'll pick it up in no time.
Come on, guys. Let's do it.

All right.

Come on, Sally.
You can do it.

- I hate this.
I'm gonna fall.

- You got it. Here.

There you go.

You got it. Give it a sec.

Used to skate like a pro
when you were little.

- Yeah, dad,
I'm not little anymore.

- I know.

- Okay, my center
of balance is all off.

- Whoa, whoa.

Hey. You all right?

Your grandpa ryebeck used to say
if you fall off the horse

you gotta just get right back up
and try again.

- Yeah, that's easy
for you to say.

- Hey, I'm speaking to you
as an expert.

Come on, you got this.
Just focus.

- I can't. I feel like
I'm being watched.

- Okay. Ready?

I'm not watching you.
I'm not watching you.

I'm trying not to watch you.

You got this. Come on.
Step and glide.

- There you go.
- Music would be nice.

- How'd you do that?

- Magic.

- Please, dad.
You preprogrammed the pa system.

- You remember this song?
- How could I not?

You let me listen to it
every night.

- Yeah, I used to play this
for you when you were a baby.

Just focus on the music.
Tune everything else out.

- ♪ Ho, ho, ho
who wouldn't go ♪

- There you go.

Eddie, you can wait.

- You gonna get that?
- Not on your life.

Hey, sporto, how you doing?

- Come on, Dan,
answer your phone.

Come on.
Pick it up, pick it up.

Sounds like you're wanted.

- I know.

Wow. They're so grown up.
What do they need us for?

Got a couple pros out there.

- They haven't been
this happy in a long time.

They said they had
a blast last night.

- Oh, we sure had fun.

Sally can be a bit more
challenging than I remember.

What happened
to our little girl?

- I'll tell you what happened.

While you were so busy
with your projects

she became a teenager.

- Yeah. Well, I guess I got
a long way to go with her.

Feels like a start.

You know, I've always
justified working 24/7

as something I'm doing
for the family.

But maybe it's more
for my own ego.

- We always wanted you
to succeed,

it's just when
you were away so much

we wanted you
to come back home.

Maybe that's still
a possibility.

- Who knows?
Stranger things have happened.

Especially this week.

Why don't you come over

for Christmas Eve dinner
tomorrow night?

- I would love that.

- You're not
answering your phone.

We got a situation.

At the...The mall.
It's getting out of hand.

- Colleague from work.

- Oh, it sounds like
there's an emergency.

Anyway, it's my turn
to skate with the kids.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- All right. Tomorrow night.
Bye, kids! Love you! Have fun!

That's great. Just great.

Would you look at this?

This is worse
than the Christmas of 1812.

That's when Santa
got a stomach virus

and everything
went kerflooey.

- So what do we do
to fix all this?

- You tell me. Blitzen's out
so we got seven reindeer.

We've got 20 distribution routes
and 500 million toys that

have to reach kids' homes or
stores within the next 24 hours.

What we need is a miracle.

- Or a really good
travel agent.

- I don't like this.
Santa never broke in anywhere.

- Oh, please. The guy goes down
peoples' chimneys.

That isn't exactly
ringing the doorbell.

Besides I have a lease
till the end of the year.

- Well you better be right.

I don't think you can post bail
with a plate full of cookies.

What exactly are we doing here?

- So Santa can't go
any faster?

- Not unless you want to see

tiny reindeer
bumping into stuff.

- Okay, so we're figuring out
how to reroute

a few hundred million toys
on commercial flights

then avoiding
major flight corridors

so the sleigh
can deliver the rest.

It's what I do.

Okay, we're gonna fix this
if it takes all night.

- Oh, thanks.
- You're welcome.

- What a wonderful credit
to your capabilities.

All units rented,
and on a holiday.

That was genius.

Decking the place out
with fantastic decorations.

Really drew 'em in.

- I wish I could
claim credit for it,

but I can't, really.

- And modest too.

So any special plans
for Christmas Eve?

- I'm just spending it
with my family.

It's been an exhausting
Christmas season. You?

- Oh, delivering food
to some area soup kitchens

and then caroling
at several senior centers.

- It's great that you do that.

- Well, you know, back home

my family has some
wonderful traditions.

Christmas Eve we all
go down to bond street

and look at the window displays

and then we have a big Christmas
dinner with Figgy pudding

and then Christmas morning
it's high tea with clotted cream

and then we all go cardio
climbing the stairs of big Ben.

- That sounds like fun.
- It is.

You know,
you should come next year.

With the kids, of course.

You could meet my family.

- That's funny, somehow
I can't imagine my kids

having high tea.

- Linda, I'm serious.
- Really?

- The way I see it
is that there are

two types of men
in this world.

There are the dreamers
and there are the doers.

And it's the doers
who are the ones

who can make dreams come true.

Your carriage awaits.

- Look, Dan, we've been
at this all night.

You need a break?

- No, let's keep going.

- All right, well, we've got
headwinds in the pacific

right near Manila.

- We're gonna have to reroute.

We can't go through Tonga.

I had a refueling
problem there once.

We were delayed for hours
with red tape.

- I don't want red tape.
- Boom, Samoa.

Reroute the pacific via Samoa,
I'll text my rep in pago pago

to facilitate next.

- Air traffic control
in London is down.

We have to avoid any flights

that are coming out of
backed up Northern Europe.

- All right, we got a plane
full of Teddy bears,

we can go through Lisbon.

- Book it.
- Done.

Okay...

400 more first-class tickets

on the old Santa card,

and...
- Boom.

Hi, Linda.

- I'm just calling
to make sure

you're still coming
to dinner tonight.

The kids are really
looking forward to it,

and apparently Sally has some
sort of performance planned.

- Really? Linda, I can't wait.
Oh, and don't cook anything.

Just put your feet up 'cause
I am bringing dinner tonight.

- You sure?
- Absolutely.

Don't make promises
I can't keep anymore.

- Dan, where are you?

I hear some sort of noise
in the background.

- Um, just at the old office.

- Dan, just let it go.
What are you trying to prove?

- It's not what you think.

- And here I was thinking
that you'd changed.

- Linda, trust me, there's
nothing to worry about.

And I will be there.

So just enjoy your time
with the kids

and I'll see you soon.

- Okay. Bye.

- We got a monsoon in India
and a blizzard in Idaho.

- I am on it.

Whoa. I can't believe we just
worked 24 hours straight.

Got a few hours left
but we're still in the game.

- Well, it's Christmas Eve.

There's always more to do.
- Exactly.

Which is why I want
to see my family.

So before you yell at me or...

- Relax. You earned it.

I'll see you back
at the pole in two hours.

Not a minute more, all right?

There's always last-minute
logistics to attend to

and you gotta suit up
to drive the sleigh.

- I'll be there.

Hey, uh, Eddie,
I couldn't have done this...

Any of this, without you,
so thank you.

- Don't mention it.

- You're a good man.
Or elf.

- Like I said,
don't mention it.

- He's really gotta teach me
how he does that.

All right.

Oh, this should cover it.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

I'm...I'm afraid your card seems
to have been declined, sir.

- Oh, just run it again,
please.

- I did, sir.

It is definitely
being declined.

- Well, that can't be.

- Perhaps you'd like
to use another card or cash.

- Or maybe you'd like
to call your bank. The...

The bank of the north pole.

- Well, I'm sure
it's a mistake.

Make a quick call
and clear it up.

- Santa card customer service.

- Yes, hello,
my card has been declined.

- How can I help you,
Mr. Ryebeck?

- Yes, that's me.

- Did you attempt
to use the Santa card?

- Yes, it was the Santa card.

- I'm afraid you've reached
your limit, Mr. Ryebeck.

- Look, what do you mean limit?

- No further purchases
are authorized.

- No, please. I'm Santa.

- Merry Christmas,
Mr. Ryebeck.

- Hello? Hello?

- Alphonse?
- Oui, monsieur?

- Take all this
back to the kitchen, please.

- So we just
wanted to pop by

and wish everyone
a merry Christmas.

- Thank you.

I hope you're having
a good Christmas Eve.

- Yes. Yes, it's fine.

Much better after seeing you.

- So late,
I brought no food.

- Trevor's car?

- Okay, who's hungry
for dessert?

Ho, ho, ho.

- Couldn't let my best agent
go unrewarded

this Christmas Eve.

- Oh, thank you.
That looks so...

Fancy.

Genuine Christmas fruitcake

flown in from
harrod's of London.

It's so good.
I had to share.

Kids.
- I don't want any.

Dad said he was gonna come
and he didn't.

He's just like he used to be.

- Hey, I'm sure he had
something come up.

- Joe.

- I'm sorry.

We're having a uniquely
memorable Christmas Eve.

I blew it. Again.

Oh...
Yeah, Eddie.

- I told you to be
back here in two hours.

- I know I said, I...
- Yeah, I know you know.

I'm sure you know
how late you are.

Have you even checked
the transit schedule?

- Yes, I looked at
the transit schedules.

Or most of them, anyway.

- We're having a total
shipping breakdown.

A system-wide snafu.

Look...

Cookies are depleted.

Not even a crumb.
The elves are very upset.

- Hey, when your business
is run on sugar

I guess it's bound
to eventually crash, right?

- For better or worse,
you are the man in charge.

If you don't get back here
and in charge,

Christmas is gonna be ruined
by your very hand!

- Okay. Yes.

- ♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of Holly ♪

♪ fa la-la la-la,
la-la la la ♪

♪ 'Tis the season
to be jolly ♪

♪ fa la-la la-la,
la-la la la ♪

♪ Don we now
our gay apparel ♪

♪ fa la-la, la la-la,
la la la ♪

♪ troll the ancient
yuletide Carol ♪

- Over here!

- Kris.

- Hey, Dan.
Merry Christmas.

- So...

How's vacation?

Well, got this killer suntan
and I'm loving the warm weather.

- Great.

- Say, you look a little low.

I guess pulling off Christmas

isn't as easy as it seems,
is it?

- Well, that's
an understatement.

You know I messed it all up.

And I let down
my family again.

- Well, at least you finally
got to give your family

all those presents
you wanted to, right?

- Yeah.

Looking back, I don't really

feel like it's made
much of a difference.

Well, imagine that.

- When I was a kid,

on Christmas morning
I'd open my presents

and then I would see what
all the other kids got

and I wished so much
I'd gotten what they did.

- Hmm.

- I was blinded
by the amazing gifts.

I didn't see what I already had
was the best gift of all.

My family.

I want that for my kids too.

You know that Christmas
morning feeling

when you just know
you're surrounded

by people who love you?

Is that too much to ask?

- Anything is possible
on Christmas.

All it takes
is a little faith.

Well, you still got your Santa
powers for a few more hours.

What are you gonna do
to enjoy them?

- I know exactly
what I'm gonna do with them.

But it doesn't take
any powers at all.

Kris, thanks for putting
your confidence in me.

I'm sorry I let you down.

- Dan, Christmas
isn't over yet.

- Dan.

- Hi.

Do you have company?

- Well, Trevor was here
a few hours ago

but he left. Come on in.

- I'm really sorry
I missed dinner.

Are the kids asleep?

- Yeah.
I threw together a meal.

- Thanks.
Are they all right?

- Their dad missed
Christmas Eve dinner.

They're not exactly
over the rainbow.

- I screwed up, Linda.
I really screwed up.

- I've heard it all
before, Dan.

- I'm not talking
about business, though.

I'm talking about
what matters most.

Family. The kids. You.

Okay, look,
just do me a favor.

Tell the kids
merry Christmas for me.

And that I love them
more than they'll ever know.

I'm sorry.
- Wait.

Do you want to sit down
and have an egg nog?

Trevor brought over a gallon and
it would be a shame to waste it.

- Uh, sorry. Yes, sure.

Do you remember this song?
- Mm-hmm.

- Reminds me of our very first
Christmas together.

- Me too.

- Care to dance?

- I don't think so.

- ♪ There's magic in the city ♪

- This would be
our last chance.

- ♪ It's in
the children's eyes ♪

For old times sake.

- ♪ Christmas lights
shine pretty ♪

- It's Christmas Eve.

Why not?

- ♪ Within the spell ♪

- Whoo.
- A-ha.

- Hey, can I ask you
a question?

- Sure.

- Were you the one who decorated
my open house event?

- ♪ Spending Christmastime ♪

- Maybe.

- You're crazy.
- I know.

You're just figuring
this out now?

- ♪ There's so much more
to greeting cards ♪

- Do you remember
the last time we danced?

It was our fifth
wedding anniversary.

- Oh. How can you
remember that?

- It's hard not to when there
are so few memories like it.

Linda...

I'm thick-headed.

I'm sorry I've just
failed you so much.

For not being there more.

- Dan, you don't get it.

I never cared about you
being the breadwinner.

- ♪ That's all
that's on my list ♪

- Hey. Can we agree
on one thing?

- What's that?

- It's really nice
to finally have this dance.

- ♪ The warmth within
your loving... ♪

- We need a guy
in a big, red suit.

I'm gonna go get Dan
and bring him back.

- Willie, Ronnie,
get to the distribution center

and see what you can do
in the meantime.

- Sounds like some raccoons

are having a party
on our garbage cans.

- Yeah, something tells me
I should get that.

- It's time.

- No, not now.

- We gotta get you
in the suit.

- Eddie, does it
have to be me?

- You have to wear the suit

before worldwide Christmas magic
takes effect.

Now we may only have enough time
to deliver half the presents,

but that's better than
no presents at all. Come on.

- Dad?
- Mom, what's going on?

- Great.
Now the kids are awake.

- Why is Eddie here?

- Hi, Eddie.
- Hi.

- Wait, you know this guy?

- Yeah, he was
the new babysitter.

- Kids, I'm so sorry
about Christmas Eve dinner.

You see...

Can I tell them?

- Give it a shot.

Linda, there's something
I've been trying to tell you.

And kids,
you might as well know too.

You know how things have been

a tad, well, strange
the past few days?

- That's one way
of putting it.

- Okay. This might be
hard to believe.

But I'm Santa Claus.

- I knew it! I knew it!
I told you, Sally. Dad's Santa!

- What?
- Linda,

it's true.

- And you're what,
his assistant?

- Executive assistant.
Christmas elf, polar division.

Linda, you've always liked
a white Christmas, right?

- It's snowing outside.
- Dad made it snow.

- It's a coincidence.

Okay, then...

- That is...
- Awesome.

- That's what I've been
trying to tell you.

- I told you!

- Boss,
we're running out of time.

- Okay. Gang,
I love you all very much.

I'm so sorry I missed
Christmas Eve dinner.

And that is the last time
I'll ever do that.

- The guy might've missed
a few things.

Messed up royally
this week,

but that's only when he was
trying to make Christmas happen

for a few billion people.

In my book,

he did pretty well.

- Okay. Sparkle us out.

- Strap in.

- Our dad just sparkled.

- You don't see that every day.

- I'm no fashion expert,
but this isn't working.

- That's because
they didn't take it in enough.

This is why you should've come
to your final fitting.

You know what,
we've got bigger problems.

It looks like there's
a bottleneck in gift delivery.

- All right, well,
we've already used

every spare plane seat
and cargo delivery.

- The sleigh
only holds so much.

All right,
we're gonna be lucky

to get half the presents
delivered.

Beyond that it's just
not gonna work.

- We can't let that happen.

We just gotta
think outside the box.

Wait a minute.

If you have to swim a moat
or scale a wall,

try a catapult instead.

- Excuse me?

- It's something my son said.

Eddie, I think
we can solve this.

The sleigh works
on Christmas magic, right?

What if we load it up
and catapult it

around the south pole?

The reverse polarity
might actually speed it up

like how airlines
use the jet stream.

- You don't want to
go to the south pole.

It's all penguins and no toys.

But...

It might work.

Someone has been reading

the owner's manual
to Santa's sleigh.

Very impressive.

Elf alert, elf alert.

Please move all of the remaining
gifts into Santa's sleigh.

Everything
and the kitchen sink.

Mauricio, that was a joke.
Do not move the kitchen sink.

Good work, elves.
Good work.

With the sleigh
weighted down that much

it's gonna be dangerous.

Santa, are you sure
you're up for it?

- Eddie, I've been wanting
to be a hero all my life.

And if it means
saving Christmas,

I'll take the risk.

- Well, that might not
be necessary.

Somebody call for backup?

Mr. Kringle!

Eddie, I need to talk
to Dan for a moment.

- Ah. It's just so good
to see you, Mr. Kringle.

- Eddie, you did a terrific job
while I was gone.

Now, look.

There is some
warm water out there

and a surfboard
if you care to.

Thank you, Santa.

- Thank you.

- Good-bye, Dan.

Cowabunga!

- This is a pretty tough
suit to fill.

So I see.

- I have made a real mess
of Christmas.

So what do we do now?

- Well, I think there's
plenty of Christmas magic

left to do the job.

- You knew this would happen,
didn't you?

That I'd botch the job?

- But I knew that you'd
come through it.

Dan, I knew that you
needed to have

everything that you
thought you wanted.

- To realize that
everything I ever needed

I already had.

There you go.

So I got this.

Go on and enjoy
your holidays.

- Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, mom.

- Hey, do you think
maybe Dad'll come?

- He's probably halfway
across the world right now.

- Sorry, kiddo, but if dad
is standing in for Santa

those are some pretty big
boots to fill.

- You're probably right.

- But I bet he's thinking
about you both.

- He certainly is.

Dad!
- Come on, gang.

- Dan.

What about your job?

- Well, I am afraid
it's over.

The real guy
whose job it was came back

and I think he can
take it from here.

- Imagine that.

Stepping down from a job
where you could have anything

you ever wanted
with a snap of your fingers.

- Not everything.

Not everything
by a long shot.

I brought you something.

Something I should've
given you a long time ago.

Me.

And a couple more presents.

Son, I hope you like that.

And this is for you.

Your grandpa made that for me
a long time ago.

To remind me
how much I'm loved.

And I hope you remember
how much I love you.

- Dad, it's great.

- And Sally,

your grandma made that herself
for the family tree.

It may not be much
to look at,

but it's a memory
of all of our traditions.

And the ones that are
yet to come.

- No, dad, it's...
It's beautiful.

- It's funny how easy it is
to forget what really counts.

- And I have
a present for you.

- Oh.

- Sally, that was beautiful.

Someone's been
practicing, huh?

- Well, like I said, it helps
when you don't have someone

looking over your shoulder
all the time.

- Got it.

- All right, well, I just wanted
to drop those gifts off.

Enjoy.
- Hey, dad.

How 'bout a rematch
for squire of Wessex?

- Well, I don't
want to intrude.

- If you're not doing anything
else for the rest of the day

we'd love for you to stay.

- Really?

- Really.

We would.

I would.

- Well, then I'd love it too.

- Yes! We're together
at Christmas.

- So who wants to make
some waffles?

- I'll help.
- Perfect.

Kids, you go get 'em started.
- Okay.

I'll be in there in a second.

You...

Honey.

Things have been so crazy.

I just...

I just want to say Noel.

And happy holidays.

And merry Christmas.

And one other thing.

Linda...

Will you marry me? Again?

- You had me at "Noel."

Come here.

- Dad's coming home.