Santa Jaws (2018) - full transcript
Trying to survive the family Christmas, Cody makes a wish to be alone, which ends up backfiring when a shark manifests and kills his entire family.
No, Santa, please!
Please, don't do this!
Ho, ho, ho, Jenny,
you've been naughty,
and the spirit of Christmas
demands a sacrifice.
Somebody!
Somebody, save me!
You better watch out,
you better not die!
Stop right there, Santa.
Casey!
Casey, I knew you'd come.
Are you going to shoot me
like a naughty little boy,
or fight me like a man?
No sugar cookies for you.
You're going to eat your words.
And a very good night to you.
See you in jingle hell!
You saved me!
My hero.
You know you're the only one
I have in the world.
Casey.
Casey...
Casey...
Casey?
Casey?
Cody...
Cody.
Hey, Cody.
- Cody!
- What?
Are you done yet?
I don't know.
I just...
I don't think we should
end it like that.
Do I detect trouble in paradise?
What are
you girls talking about?
Having a little lover's spat?
Cody's latest brainchild.
He wants to end it
with ruby slippers,
- instead of going dark.
- It's not bad,
I just think we could use
a little more redemption is all.
Maybe you can check it out?
I'll see if I can
squeeze this into my schedule.
Now...
Who here is good with knots?
I'm certainly knot.
Oh, come on,
aren't you guys excited?
Tomorrow's the first ever Big Easy Comics Christmas Eve party.
Yeah, of course I am,
it's just, you know...
My mom always has me help
at the Christmas Eve
community dinner
at her restaurant.
You'll still make it to
the party though, right?
Yeah, I mean, if I can
escape my parents, sure.
You have to escape your parents.
Houdini that.
It's going to be the biggest
party of the century.
Right.
- This is funny.
- Yeah, it's because I wrote it.
- Next Frank Miller over here.
- Thanks, man.
Whoa!
This elf kill, it's savage.
Sometimes you've gotta
jump the shark.
Right.
Not funny.
You know, your cartoon
about school uniforms
got more likes
than the Winter Dance.
Yeah, it's my magnum opus.
All right, I'm outta here, guys.
Later, man.
Live long and prosper.
JFK to MSY is nothing.
Try flying to Hong Kong
and back six times a quarter.
It's humid here.
This is going to be
terrible for my hair.
No, we are not
giving them the A-Series.
Have you seen their
projected earnings?
That is a terrible idea.
You gotta be
kidding me with that.
No, no.
Na-na-na-na, I'm not listening.
Ho-ho-ho!
Somebody's at the door.
Can you just do
what I tell you to do?
Put the phone down, Mikey,
come on.
- Can you? Look I gotta go.
- Mikey, Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, Pop.
- Oh, man, how you doing?
- I'm good.
- Good, good, good.
And you must be Georgia.
Enchante.
Mademoiselle.
- Joshy.
- Uncle Mike, how are you?
I'm good.
You still pitching?
I'll be starting this season.
You know,
before I went to Cornell,
I used to throw
the ball around a bit.
Had a mean slider.
Cornell talk already.
I heard that.
So, Georgia, what do you do?
I'm a model.
Oh, a model. For whom?
- Snapstagram.
- Snapsta-ham?
I don't think I know them.
LOL.
Gesundheit.
A comedian.
How was your flight?
Not bad.
Try flying to Hong Kong
six times a quarter.
How have you guys been?
Like chickens running around
with our heads cut off
for the Christmas Eve
dinner tomorrow.
- Ah.
- Big brother.
Who you calling big?
You know, we really
missed you guys at the wedding.
Well, it was in Monaco.
You gave us
a week's notice.
Cody, how you doing, kiddo?
Good, Uncle Mike.
Still drawing
those cartoons of yours?
Comics.
Yeah.
Comic books, I stand corrected.
- What photos?
- From the wedding.
- You follow each other on Snapstagram?
- Yeah.
One out of her,
like, 120,000 followers.
Yeah, what's that?
Are you sure?
Yes, send it to me.
Thanks so much, John.
And have a Merry Christmas.
Cody!
I just got a call
from Principal Matuzzi.
He said you drew
an offensive cartoon
that's all over social media.
I have no idea
what he's talking about.
Really?
Oh. Well, it looks like
your artwork to me.
The institution of uniforms
at a public school
is unjust, OK.
Clothes are an expression
of our individuality.
- Cody.
- And if we start to suppress free speech now,
we're headed towards
totalitarianism.
- Take it down, now.
- Oh, great.
Merry Christmas.
What about the first amendment?
How can you be so selfish?
Your father teaches
at that school.
You're embarrassing this family.
Hey, come on.
It's not that serious.
Yes, it is.
You're grounded.
For a week.
What?!
But tomorrow's the Christmas Eve comic book party.
Well, you should have
thought of that before.
Go to your room.
With pleasure.
- Sorry about that.
- Kids...
We gotta take off and shut down the restaurant for the night, so...
You guys will be fine
settling in.
- Yeah.
- Sure, yeah, yeah.
- I'll get them set up.
- Thanks, son.
We'll be back before
you know it.
- It was really nice meeting you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Don't be long.
- We won't.
See you in a little bit.
Who wants eggnog?
Homemade. Made it myself.
- Hey, Uncle Mike.
- Cody.
I didn't see you over there.
Don't worry.
Won't narc.
Thanks.
Papa still hates me smoking.
You know, I have a lot
of friends in the art world,
if you ever wanted
to visit New York.
Yeah, no, I'd love to,
but my mom
would never allow that.
You know, you should
take it easy on your mom.
She was quite the rebel
back in her day.
Mom?
Oh, yeah.
You should ask her about her
punk rock phase sometime.
Gotta take this.
Yeah?
Oh, hey, you forgot your...
"Merry early Christmas.
Follow your dreams."
Whoa. What?
Rad.
Wow, what?
Cody, you better be in bed.
Can't stand her.
They don't care about me.
No one has my back.
I'm better off alone.
Isn't that right, Santa Jaws?
What?
What?
Rise and shine, little man.
Grandpa, what time is it?
It's time to go fishing.
Are you serious?
Did you forget about our annual
Christmas Eve fishing trip?
I am very tired.
And very grounded.
I know.
And I know that it's your
comic book store
Christmas party today.
Maybe we can stop by on the way
back, what do you think?
Our little secret.
All right, all right,
all right....
- I'll be in the truck.
- OK.
- Come on, they're biting.
- OK.
I'm going...
Hey...
Cody?
Are you all right?
Oh, yeah, I'm fine,
just looking for that gopher
Mom was on about.
Totally doing that.
Gopher, mm-hm.
Lemme help ya out.
I'm OK, thanks.
Just like your grandfather.
Not a creature was stirring,
except for me
looking like an idiot.
Come on, let's ride.
Just the two of us, out on the water,
Christmas tomorrow.
This is it.
This is the good stuff.
I guess.
I guess?
Usually, you love fishing.
Something wrong?
No, there's nothing wrong.
Something's wrong.
Have anything to do
with that girl?
What's there to talk about?
She just moved here.
She's some track and field star.
- I mean...
- Sounds cool to me.
Last time I tried to talk to her
I spilled milk all over myself
in the cafeteria,
so, that kinda sucked, too.
It was bad.
Cody...
Well, I understand
feeling embarrassed.
Lord knows
I've had my moments.
But you gotta
face your fears now,
or you just get better
and better at avoiding them.
Maybe it's worth another try.
Huh?
Thanks, Papa.
Of course.
All right.
Now, how about
passing me my thermos.
Get a little of that eggnog
I make every year.
Bragging about it, my self.
Here you go.
Oh, yeah.
- Want a little snort?
- Sure.
Oh! Sorry, Grandpa.
That's all right.
I got another one
right over there.
Great, OK, I'll grab it.
Cody!
Grandpa!
Grandpa?
Santa Jaws?
Uncle Mike, you coming with?
Ready when you are, sir.
Mom, Dad,
something terrible happened!
Cody, what are you doing?
You're supposed to
be in your room!
Me and Papa
were at the fishing hole,
and something attacked him!
- What are you talking about?
- A shark! A shark attacked Papa!
Cody, don't make things up.
I'm not!
Do I need to go inside
and wake him up?
- Yes! Go look for yourself!
- Don't be ridiculous!
Cody, we won't engage
in these fantasies.
- I'm not lying!
- You're grounded for another week!
Now go to your room.
You know how important
honesty is to this family.
And dragging your grandfather
into this who loves you so much.
- Are there any sharks here?
- No.
- And give me your phone.
- Look, we have to do something.
Hand it over, now!
I can't believe you would
do this on Christmas Eve.
If you even think about
going out again,
I'm gonna take away
all your art supplies.
Come on. Let's go.
I'm very disappointed
in you, son.
Weak, bro.
I can't just stay here
and do nothing.
It got Papa.
I can't just sit here
with that thing out there.
But what am I gonna do?
No one's gonna believe there's a great white shark attacking Port City.
There hasn't been a shark in
these parts in a thousand years.
If it got Papa...
If it got Papa it could get others.
There will be others!
I have to do something.
Mom was furious,
she was mad furious.
I've never seen her
like that before.
I mean, if I leave, oh, God.
No!
Don't be ridiculous.
You have to do something,
there are real lives
are at stake here.
My phone.
"Mom, Dad, I know
that you don't believe me...
but you're in danger.
I have to stop this thing.
OK, I'm talking about
writing a comic
that is so original that it
defies all comic tropes.
Hm, like a genius scientist
who creates a super formula,
but then, when he
tests it on himself
things go terribly wrong.
Seriously?
Something that makes you
think about the structure
of a graphic novel
on every page.
Hm...
You know, that to me...
That sounds... dull.
Guys, something happened!
What up, dude?
Look, something attacked
Papa at the bay this morning.
A great white shark
attacked Papa.
We were at the fishing hole,
and something grabbed him
and pulled him into the water.
Sure, Mr. Dryfuss,
how big was the beast?
Twenty feet, maybe bigger.
Oh, and let me guess,
it has glowing red eyes
- like Rudolf's nose?
- Exactly! Exactly!
Exactly, it's savage.
And it almost got me.
I see. I see what he's doing.
Yeah.
Well, since it's your monster,
you should probably get
the pronoun right.
Santa Jaws is a she.
Born a runt, she was attacked by
the other sharks in a frenzy.
- Dun...
- She only survived by becoming
the fastest and the smartest
of them all.
After eating evil Santa,
she gained his power,
- she doubled in size.
- Dun-dun-dun...
She grew so powerful that no other sharks would even get near her.
Dun-dun dun...
Ever since,
she roamed the oceans alone,
cut off by her own
savage nature.
Can you stop?
I was making it better.
- Whoa.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I know that because
I illustrated every panel.
And I just saw
that thing out there!
It's alive!
And we're supposed to believe
that she ate your grandfather?
I know it sounds unbelievable,
but it's true.
No, no, it's doesn't
sound unbelievable,
it sounds absolutely insane.
Yeah, kind of like the time
that you saw the demonic clown
who lived in that abandoned building at the end of Congress Street.
Or that time you swore
that a corpse had dug itself
out of its own grave
and was hiding in your backyard.
OK, that was
four years ago, OK.
- The evil shed, that's it.
- Evil shed.
Where's the comic book, Clark?
Where's Santa Jaws?
Oh, I really dug that.
It was awesome.
I mean, it was no Eviscerator.
You guys have read
my latest, right?
- Yeah, we all have.
- Of course you have.
Yeah, no, Santa Jaws,
absolutely solid.
I gave it to a regular.
- You what?
- What?
OK, she's not a regular yet.
But she will be, guaranteed,
she just moved here.
She knows her comics, too.
I mean, she looked at your
artwork as was, like, drawn in.
- Smart.
- Are you kidding?
No, I'm not kidding. You guys
need an ending, right?
Isn't that what you were bickering about the other day like two little girls?
Huh? Couldn't decide
on how to end the thing.
I gave it to a regular, Cody.
You know why?
'Cause regulars are the people.
You gotta listen to the people.
Who did you give it to?
Bad touch. Bad touch, bad touch.
I gave it to a girl...
named Jena.
Ooh... dun, dun, dun.
- The plot thickens.
- All right, shh...
- You know her?
- That's the girl from English class, right?
- Shut up.
- Your neighbor, right?
- Shut up.
- Your dream girl.
Can you not be an ass
for one second?! Hmm?
Yeah, no, he can't not be that.
Look, there is a shark
in Port City waters.
Whether you believe me or not,
it's out there.
Right...
Shark...
You know what?
Wanna come with me? I'll show you.
You know what,
this party's a bust anyway.
Let's go.
Clark, are you coming with us?
Who's gonna watch the store?
OK, whatever.
Hey, man, don't break a nail.
You know, that's sexist, right?
The comment.
Almost done.
And... look.
Ooh, very nice.
This is going to make
such a v-cute post.
Feeling flakey.
Yours looks weird.
It's a Mobius-strip flake!
What's a Mobius-strip?
It's a one-sided
non-orientable surface,
embedded in Euclidean space.
What do you do again?
I'm a high school
physics teacher.
That makes sense.
You two look engrossed.
Yes.
How are things
coming in the kitchen?
We just put in the turkeys.
Josh and Mike
are peeling potatoes.
And I'm about
to start the pie crust.
- Ooh, your famous apple?
- That's right.
Pecans, cheddar cheese
and my homemade whipped cream.
My not-so-secret recipe.
How long have you guys been
doing this Christmas Eve dinner?
Almost a decade.
It's our way of giving back
to the community.
It's like your own personal
Ice Bucket Challenge.
Starting to smell
pretty damn good in there.
We should get
going before we can't.
What already?
Yeah, we rented a yacht
for the annual
Christmas Day boat parade.
Couldn't possibly
visit Port City
without showing Georgia
my seafaring side.
My followers
are going to love it.
It's been months since
they've seen me in a bikini.
Do you remember
when we were kids
we used to watch the together?
Man, you couldn't get
enough of the lights.
Yeah, yeah. And you couldn't
get enough of those yachts.
Well, what's the point of having
a boat if it's not the biggest?
We love watching the parade
from the restaurant deck.
We'll wave to you tomorrow.
Deal.
Hashtag Christmas spirit!
I don't see a thing.
No, she was out here.
Disappearing into the depths,
stalking the ocean deep
until her next attack.
This is where she was.
This is where it happened.
Tricky fish.
Sharks are Chondrichthyes.
There's Papa's thermos.
Holy molar,
what has teeth that size?
Only a great white shark.
A big one.
- And you think it's Santa Jaws?
- I know it's Santa Jaws.
We need to get
that comic book back.
Well, at least you and Jena have something to talk about now.
♪ Santa Jaws
Is coming to town ♪
♪ Deck the boat
With boughs of holly ♪
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la
La-la la la ♪
♪ Tis the season to be jolly ♪
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la
La-la la la ♪
How do I look?
Did you go shopping again?
What, do you expect me
to come unprepared?
Here, take a picture.
It's the only way
to know for sure.
You look spectacular.
Anyway, it's just gonna be
you and me out there, hon.
One, two three...
Beautiful.
You, me and 120,000
of my followers.
They can only take
so many cardigans
and pumpkin spice lattes.
Oh, cute!
You're getting good at this.
You have been listening.
Well, yeah, after the
dog walking leotard incident.
All right, let's get
this baby cranked up.
Hm...
What was that?
Uh, the motor.
Is it supposed to
sound like that?
I don't think so.
I'll check it out.
You stay here looking hot.
Oh, my God!
My pores look terrible!
Christmas lights
in the propeller.
That's a new one.
Come on!
Sleigh bells!
Mike!
Mike!
Mike?
OK, just... hang here.
Let me handle this.
Don't say anything.
- I got this.
- Oh, hell no.
I've got to see your moves.
Hi, Merry...
Happy Holiday.
Um, this is Steve,
I'm Cody.
We all go to school together.
Yea, I saw you
eat it this morning.
I like her already.
So, why were you jogging
at five in the morning?
I need to get
my 1,500 and 2,000 down
before the beginning
of the season.
I keep a very strict schedule.
Oh, yeah, you're that
track and field girl,
that my sister
keeps talking about.
The whole varsity team
can't keep up with her.
I'm aiming for
a scholarship to USC,
which means I should be
getting back my report.
Wait, um, Clark, the owner
of Big Easy Comics,
said that he gave you
a comic book.
- Santa Jaws.
- He did.
That guy kinda has
a creepy vibe.
You still have it with you?
The comic?
Yeah. The illustrations
are cool,
and I liked the callbacks
to Reptilian.
I wrote it, actually.
- You want it back?
- Yes, please, that would be great.
Thank you, thank you.
Bro, nice moves.
Bro, just...
Please stop.
Yeah, my parents have been
asking me to do that for years.
Now they're on a Christmas
trip in the Bahamas without me.
So, yeah, I'm considering it.
- It's gone.
- It's what?
The comic's gone.
I must have left it
on my dad's boat this morning
when we were decorating.
- Um, we kind of need it back.
- ASAP.
I can take you.
That would be great.
That's be awesome.
It's only, like,
a 12-minute jog.
There's something in the water!
Hey, are you okay?
Something pulled
Mike into the water.
He's gone.
Mike is gone!
Whoa, whoa, what do you mean
Mike is gone?
Josh, get her something
to cover up.
There was a fin.
A big, red fin.
I don't know.
It was...
It looked like Santa...
Santa's cap.
Wait, what did you see?
There was splash and then...
and then Mike just disappeared.
There was this like...
like a ringing...
like...
like jingle bells.
Oh, those eyes...
Cody was telling the truth.
No, no, she's in shock.
We need to call the police.
Go... take her home, son.
You get her
whatever she wants, OK.
We'll meet you there.
Go with Josh.
- Where are you going?
- We're going to find Mike.
I just need to lock up.
- Grab the keys.
Just go home, OK. Be safe.
Just go home, we'll be there.
I can't remember the last time
I did this much exercise.
Definitely never worked out this
much on Christmas Eve before.
I shouldn't have
skipped breakfast.
Guess it's a
good thing we biked.
You know,
I've actually been thinking about doing a triathlon.
She really does have
a one-track mind.
Funny.
Wait here, I got this.
Christmas Eve
and this is what we're doing.
Following your crush around,
searching for our comic,
getting ready to fight
a giant shark.
This is not how I'm supposed to
spend my holidays.
Well, you heard her say
she like my illustrations.
Yeah, man,
you're the next Pablo Picasso of aquatic monster comics.
Nah, man, I'm just saying,
she has good taste.
- Got it.
- Oh, hey.
Thank you.
Were you doing squats in there?
That took you forever.
Thought I'd give you
a minute to catch your breath.
I know you have trouble
with your pacing.
Whoa...
Shots fired.
Do you hear that?
Reminds me of the line in comic.
"Bells on shark tails ring."
Come on, let's go.
They said
we'd only last six months.
We need to make a detour.
What? Where?
If I know anything about Cody...
the comic book shop.
A comic book shop?
Can we not?
Get the comic.
Let's go home
and forget this whole thing.
- Are you crazy?
- Am I crazy?
You're the one who thinks
Santa Jaws came to life
and killed your grandpa.
What?
My legs!
What the hell?!
That wasn't?
Santa Jaws.
You don't think there was
actually a shark in the bay?
Of course not.
But, Cody, this morning...
Honey, Mike's been playing
pranks since he was a kid.
Right? Remember in high school
when he convinced everybody
there was a serial killer
on the loose.
He's a prankster.
All right... it's just a prank.
Even if you don't
like comics it's a must read.
It's about these
two extraterrestrials
from different worlds that are at war,
but they fall in love.
- Hashtag soulmates.
- Right.
- So, where's Cody?
- Well, should be here any minute.
Would you care
for some more eggnog?
- Josh!
- Cody!
- The shark, it's real.
- I know.
We just saw an elf
turn into a Christmas dinner.
Uncle Mike is missing.
Santa Jaws.
We need to call the police.
- Good luck with that.
- Where is it?
They're all out there busy
setting up for
the big parade tomorrow.
Here it is.
Why do its eyes look like that?
They glow like Rudolph's nose.
So we just need to stay away from the water and we'll be fine.
Yeah, you guys
can just stay here.
- No.
- What?
Santa Jaws is out there.
Putting more and more
people in danger.
The boat parade.
Mom and Dad.
Look, this thing
is threatening our town
and we need to step up
and defend it.
Who would believe us though?
Papa always told me that
I need to stand up to my fears.
And he's right.
If we don't stand up to our fears now,
we'll never stop running.
Uncle Mike was the same way.
He wasn't afraid of anything.
Except clowns.
Look, if we stand up right now,
together, we can't lose.
And I know we're young,
but that doesn't mean that we can't do this.
Are you guys with me?
We're going to need
a plan of attack.
- She's right.
- Are you serious?
That shark might be from a comic,
but we're not superheroes.
We don't even have
anything to fight it with.
Ahhh...
I might have something
you can use.
Any more excuses?
Seventeen, this is it.
It isn't really a yacht.
No, it's, uh, not a yacht.
Mike?!
Mike?
Mike!
They didn't finish decorating.
Either that or they're
really bad at decorating.
There's something right there,
can... can you reach it?
Is that Mike's hat?
- Oh, what is that?!
- Oh, it was a shark!
A big one!
No, no, no, no.
Cody was telling the truth?
Papa...
Mike...
Wait, no, that's not possible.
It... it can't be.
It's gonna be all right,
it's gonna be all right, we just gotta...
We need the boys!
The boys... the boys...
the boys, go! Go!
You're not coming?
I gotta watch
the store, man.
I mean,
party people are going to be rolling through that door any second.
Yeah, 'cause this party's
really gonna be bumpin'.
Yeah.
What's this?
Just old pen my grandpa
gave me for Christmas.
That's Elvin.
It's German.
He who holds this pen
holds great power.
With generosity in heart,
it can do only good.
Beware, he who uses it
for selfish gains."
Let's roll.
Come on, let's go, Cody.
Hey, guys, can we
stop somewhere for food?
No!
Now, how are we going to
get the shark over here?
Well, if you had read the comic,
you would know that Santa Jaws
is attracted
to anything Christmas.
So all we need
is something a little Christmas.
Josh, your phone.
Quick.
Time to turn out
the lights on this shark.
Look, over there.
Cody, she's coming.
Come to daddy.
That's right. Keep comin'.
- Dang it!
- You missed!
Let me.
Set your dominant foot as lead.
Line up the sight,
and squeeze as you breathe out.
Yes! You hit her!
It's not slowing her down.
I got this.
Dasher and lancer!
- I thought you were a pitcher.
- Yeah, baseballs not harpoons!
- Hey!
- Guys, cool it!
Where is it?
She's gone.
- Georgia!
- Grab her, grab her, grab her!
- Georgia!
- Georgia!
Georgia, no!
That... That was insane!
It lassoed Georgia.
It's called aim. If some you had it,
she might still be here.
I didn't see you doing anything
but playing with your sword.
All right, back up, back up.
Back up!
Fighting isn't going to
change what happened.
I landed a direct hit
and the arrow just bounced off.
She's too strong.
Did you see what happened
when Georgia stabbed Santa Jaws
with the candy cane?
- It actually hurt her.
- You're right.
What if she isn't only
attracted to things Christmas,
but she can only be hurt
by Christmas things.
Things from her world.
No. No, no, no.
I see what you're thinking.
But the answer is no.
What if Jena's right?
Who's going to believe us?
A shark came out of
a comic book
that can only be killed with Christmas weapons.
Think about it.
That shark is way too strong
and way too smart.
We can't fight her.
One of us is next.
We made her together, Steve.
I may have been the one
who drew her,
but you're the one
who gave her super intelligence,
who gave her an insatiable
appetite for human flesh.
So, we will take her out,
together.
All right.
We need some Christmas flare.
Well, there's decorations all around after the boat parade.
Maybe we can make some candy cane arrows or something.
There's bound to be something around here that's sharp or goes bang.
Steve, Josh, scour the marina
for more firepower,
Jena and I will dress up
what we've got.
Let's go.
- Cody! Josh!
- Boys!
Hey, call Josh on his cell.
It's ringing out!
Papa's not here either.
Hey, a note!
- What?
- A note! A note!
You're kidding...
Hey!
Let's put this fish on ice.
So you're going to be starting
pitcher next season, huh.
I paid my dues.
How'd it feel
to go into the finals
against Montclair Park
and lose by one run?
- Dude, what is your problem?
- My problem?
Yeah, you have some sort of
chip on your shoulder.
Oh, I wonder why that would be?
You and your friends
treat me and Cody
like we don't exist.
When you get bored, we're chum.
When have I ever got on you,
man?
You and all your jock friends
treat us "nerds"
like second-class citizens.
Locking us,
making our lives hell.
Treating us like rejects.
You're just a stereotype.
And you're not doing the same
thing by reducing us to "jocks"?
Everyone is part stereotype.
Anyway, you're gonna
use your smarts
to go to some great college,
become successful.
Half of the dudes on my team
aren't gonna get scholarships,
for them this is
as good as it gets.
Look, all I know is what matters most is what happens
at the bottom of the ninth when the
score is tied and the bases are loaded,
and that's now.
What we do now is what counts.
I think we may have just
bought ourselves another inning.
So where did you
move here from originally?
Tucson,
but before that Houston.
The climate's actually better
for training here.
I mean, how'd you even start?
I guess I've always been fast.
My dad's been training me
since I was little.
He pushes me.
Keeps me focused.
When I sprained my ankle,
he read me
track and field magazines
every day for two weeks
while I was
in physical therapy.
Sounds like he really
believes in you.
He does.
But sometimes it feels like it's more his dream than it is mine.
Not that I'm ungrateful.
It's just sometimes I just wanna
read comics all afternoon,
or eat a pint of double
chocolate fudge ice cream.
- Drowned in chocolate syrup.
- Exactly.
What's your favorite comic?
Mostly the ones
that don't come to life.
I like The Human Flythe best.
I get a new issue every Tuesday
if you wanna borrow one.
Guys, look what we found.
Explosives!
The kind that Papa uses
to kill boars at the camp.
Yeah, enough to level
an elephant.
- And for delivery...
- A little taste of Christmas.
Looks good.
Let's blow this fish
outta the water.
This is where they go fishing,
right?
Yeah.
I'm sure he would have
come back here
if he was looking for the shark.
Look!
Hey... Hey, what are you doing?
Come on, Peter, we're gonna
hunt down that shark.
- Are you crazy?
- No, I love my children.
Yeah, I love them, too, OK,
but you're gonna
get yourself killed.
That shark attacked my family!
Caroline, we need to
think about this logically.
All right, Cody wouldn't have
gone at this alone.
So, we need to think,
"Where would he have gone to get help?"
- Gimme the gun, Peter.
- No, we gotta get out of here!
Honey, we can't help our
boys if we don't stay safe.
This ain't safe.
You're right.
If we're going to find Cody
we need to stay alive.
Christmas chum.
Gross.
You have more cookies?
What? I haven't eaten all day.
Is that all
you think about... food?
Gill-ty as charged.
Do you guys
hear those bells?
She's coming.
- She's coming in hot
- Get into position.
OK, we can do this, guys.
Ready...
Nice shot.
Yes!
Quick!
Steve, no! No!
This is where Cody hangs out.
This guy should know something.
Hopefully.
Are you Clark?
Who wants to know?
We're Cody's parents.
Okay.
Well, there's a shark
attacking Port City.
Where's Cody?
That is classified information.
How about now?
Access granted.
Cody's at the marina
with his friends.
They think the shark from
his comic book
came to life, and they're
gonna go try and fight it.
You let a bunch of kids
fight a shark?
Well, I mean,
they're with your oldest son.
What is wrong with you?
At least Josh is with him.
And Georgia.
That's some sort
of adult presence.
Let's get to that marina.
I'm so sorry.
I know that he was
like family to you.
He was.
This is a nightmare.
It's all my fault.
All because of some stupid wish.
This is not your fault.
You didn't know.
That pen,
it brought her to life.
What if we use it against her?
The pen.
Josh, bring me my bag.
The pen, it's not here.
When was the last time
you had it?
The comic book store.
He didn't answer.
There could be too many
people at the party.
I highly doubt that's the case.
Well, if you know it's there
and it could hurt the shark...
Let's go.
Hey, look, you guys.
Closed sign.
Someone's here.
Eggnog for the lady.
Oh, hi, guys.
Hey, Clark.
Do you know my girlfriend,
Svetlana?
Who ya haven't met.
I thought you said
this guy was getting cat-fished.
Yeah, I thought you said your
girlfriend was from Russia.
She is, Svetlana.
She flew in today.
Surprise.
So, Christmas miracle, huh?
Yeah.
Hey, what part of Russia
are you from?
She doesn't speak English,
right?
Well, you don't speak Russian.
Don't need to speak Russian.
Online translation's
kind of amazing and uh...
I think I left my pen here,
so...
Oh, there's nothing back here.
I mean, I just tided up, so...
there's nothing.
Who's car is that out front?
That car?
Svetlana's.
Hers, 'cause she has
amazing taste.
Flew in and bought a car
and came and surprised me.
I need the pen, Clark.
What pen?
The pen in the box
with the inscription.
Yeah, the one that kinda brought
Santa Jaws to life.
- Yeah, that one.
- Oh, the pen.
The... that pen. Papa's pen.
From earlier, yeah...
You know, I...
- Yeah.
- I put that in a safe place for you.
And I will get that...
I will be right back.
I'll get that for you.
And just stay here, stay put.
Right back with the...
- They're not here.
- It's like some wild goose chase.
Is this a crossbow?
Yeah.
Is that a mace?
This guy have a thing
for medieval times or something?
It is dangerous business
walking out your door.
Where could they be?
The whole town's along water.
I just hope they had
the sense to get away from it.
What do you think
the chances of that are?
Approaching zero.
You guys see that?
Yeah, he's not coming back.
Nope.
No, he's not.
- He's making a run for it!
- Come on!
Go, go, go, go, go!
No!
Drive!
- He took the keys!
- What?
Uh... bikes! Go!
Now what?
We drive along the highway and we check every dock,
one by one.
Process of elimination.
You took Papa...
and Mike.
I will not let you take my boys!
You got it!
I know a short cut.
There he is!
He's getting away!
Should've drawn a faster car.
You got it.
Come on!
Hold on!
Give me the pen.
I... I don't have the pen.
Really?
Clark, we're not idiots.
The car? The girl? The cash?
- Give it to me.
- Just give it back!
You...
You left that pen in my store!
I mean, Christmas
is about giving, isn't it?!
- It's called stealing.
- Give us the pen, Clark!
Think of the possibilities.
Ahh...
Endless money...
Girls...
Yachts...
Superpowers.
Clark...
Clark, look at me.
This isn't you.
It's the pen, it's messing
with your head or something.
Just give me the pen, please.
Give it to me.
You're just a kid!
You don't know
what you're talking about!
Life is hard!
This is so easy.
I... I could've drawn Svetlana
so she spoke English!
But then I'd have to
talk to her.
Who wants that kind of pressure?
Haven't you ever heard
"the ends justifies the means"?!
Stay back! Stay back!
- Clark...
- I will drop this right in the water!
- Don't!
- It'll go down there...
Clark, there are people's
lives at stake.
People are gonna die
if you do not give me that--
I don't care!
I don't care.
Stay back!
All right, all right,
all right, we're back.
Stay... back!
He's gonna get away with it.
No, he's not.
Jena... Jena stop. Jena!
Stop her!
- Stop her!
- Stop!
Whoa, whoa!
Jena...
There she is.
Got it!
Cody!
I got it, nice throw!
Jena, swim!
Come on! Swim!
Come here! Come on!
Hurry!
- Cody, grab her. Come on, come on!
Jena, come on, come on!
Don't!
Port City Police.
What's your emergency?
A giant great white shark
is attacking this town.
It got my father
and brother-in-law
and I can't find
my children anywhere.
- What?
- No, no, no.
My son thinks it came to life
from a comic book but...
- Ma'am, calm down.
- What's he saying?
- This line is for emergencies only.
- What's he saying?
I think he hung up.
Well, that ain't good.
So kill her.
How am I supposed to
do that, genius?
You want me to draw Xs
over her eyes?
Slice her in half or something.
I can't draw her again.
I might create another shark.
Try...
getting rid of her teeth.
Okay.
I mean, you think that worked?
I don't know.
Try impaling her.
I like that idea.
Do you think it worked?
I think so.
She has a horn now.
Maybe Jena was right, we should
just stay away from the water.
Are you kidding me?
This thing
is going after our family.
We need to get to Mom and Dad
before she does.
Don't worry, honey,
we're going to find him.
The last time I saw Cody
we were fighting.
What if I never see him again?
Don't talk like that, OK.
Don't think it.
It's not gonna be the last time, I promise.
I promise.
Mom! Dad!
Mom.
I thought I lost you.
We were worried about you, too.
I'm so sorry
I didn't believe you.
That thing is a monster.
No, I'm sorry.
This is all my fault.
I wished that thing
into existence.
I don't know,
I guess I was just angry.
What are you talking about, son?
I drew her, and she came to life
and now she's hunting
everyone in our family down.
No, this is not your fault.
All right. Hey, this is
classic global warming.
Non-indigenous species roaming into unfamiliar territories.
It's happens all--
You are not listening to me!
That is not a shark,
that is Santa Jaws!
It's Santa Jaws.
Just listen to him.
What we need to do is we
need to get inland
and contact the authorities.
What does this look like to you?
Look a little familiar?
I know her!
I made her!
That is her!
Now you can either help me,
or I can do this myself!
You OK?
No.
Mike, Papa... all my friends.
They're all gone.
I know, son,
this thing is a force of nature.
And sometimes you just gotta let
the police handle things.
- It's not our place.
- Dad!
Look, I know I can go off
the handle sometimes,
but I'm the only one
that can stop her.
But I need your help.
Please.
For Mike...
and Papa.
Help me.
For Mike... and for Papa.
Let's do this, son.
We fought too hard today
to lose you boys again.
I've been with Cody all day.
He knows what we're up against.
We can't let him
fight this thing by himself.
He needs our help.
I know.
Now, this thing is powerful,
but it is not invincible.
You boys said you hurt it
with exploding ornaments?
- That's right.
- Yeah.
Well, if it can be hurt it...
it can be killed.
I'm thinking we build
something like this.
And this could cause a massive
amount of potential energy.
Like pitching a baseball.
Exactly.
Let's give this shark
something real to chew on.
Like a Christmas turkey...
rigged to explode?
Don't even think about
touching those turkeys.
It's the only thing
we have left of Christmas.
Mom, we don't have a choice.
On the first day of Christmas,
my true love gave to me...
Three French hens...
two turtle doves...
and a partridge in a pear tree.
Cooked and stuffed.
So, all we gotta do
is get her coming this way
and let these turkeys loose.
And once one gets in her mouth,
aim and fire.
And then... kabam.
Well... how do we
get her over here?
I know one surefire way.
Now it's just a matter of time.
Look, over there.
Santa Jaws is coming to town.
All right,
lock it down.
All right.
I got eyes on her.
Come on, guys, hurry.
- All right, we're in.
- All right, grab the turkey. Come on!
Yep!
All right, we're ready.
Now!
- To the left!
- To the left, son. To the left.
Down, lock it in.
- Got it?
- Got it.
All right, good.
Grab the turkey, hurry up.
- Come on, guys.
- I got it.
Wait for it, wait for it.
- Josh, call it.
- Come on.
Pull!
- To the right. To the right.
- Come on!
To the right.
She's moving fast, come on!
Grab the last turkey!
All right, track her, wait for my warning,
wait for my warning, son.
Go, go, go, go.
Fire!
- I got this.
- No, Josh!
- Josh!
- Josh!
Josh, no!
Josh!
Peter, where's he going? Josh!
Be careful, Josh!
Nice throw!
- Josh!
- No! Josh!
Dad!
Josh!
No! Josh! Josh!
Josh!
Peter!
- Josh!
- Peter, no!
Josh! Josh!
- Behind you, Peter!
- Dad...
No!
Swim!
Stand back, Mom.
Stand back.
Honey...
Are you OK?
This is all my fault.
They're all gone.
Because of one stupid wish.
Cody...
We can bring them back.
What are you talking about?
It brought Santa Jaws to life.
It can kill her
and bring them back.
It's not going to
bring them back.
Why won't you believe me?
It's just a pen, Cody.
Give me the pen.
This pen isn't going
to do anything, Cody.
Papa gave that to me.
That is the last thing
he gave to me.
I'm sorry, I...
Whatever.
I'm sorry, Cody.
Mom!
Cody!
Cody!
Whoever kills him,
gets their Christmas wish.
Give them back!
Ho-ho-ho, you... fish.
And I got hit in the head
with a snowball.
You guys are here?
Hey, Merry Christmas, Cody.
Merry Christmas.
Where you been, kiddo?
We've been waiting on you to open presents.
Uh... yesterday was...
The dinner went well.
A ton of people showed up,
but Mike and Georgia
saved the day.
- Yeah, we did.
- It was fun.
It was like
Christmas in the movies.
Yeah, while you were geeking out
on comics, little bro.
Yeah...
guess you could say that.
Well, who wants
my famous cinnamon rolls?
- I'll take three.
- Right here.
- Right here.
- I got 'em. I'll get 'em.
Well, thank you, Cody.
They're in the oven.
- Don't burn yourself.
- Cool.
Matching pajamas!
Cute, babe.
I think this is for you.
- Oh, here you go.
- Yeah.
- You're gonna like that.
- Oh, yeah?
Oh... I almost forgot.
Almost forgot!
Oh, thank you.
- A cranky...
- Yep, yep, yep.
- You broke your last one, so...
- Oh, man, you're so cool.
Huh?
Hi.
- I'm Cody.
- From English.
Yeah... I never got a chance to welcome you to the neighborhood,
so... Merry Christmas.
Thanks.
I actually think
I have something of yours.
Oh, my God.
I'll trade ya.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
- Maybe--
- Well, I should--
I should probably
get back to my dad.
I've got a new pair
of sneakers to unwrap.
Hey, there's a new ice cream
spot that just opened up.
Maybe we could...
check it out together?
That would be fun.
And as long as they have
double chocolate fudge.
Cool.
That comic...
It was pretty killer.
You have no idea.