Samantha Hudson, una historia de fe, sexo y electroqueer (2018) - full transcript

PROLOGUE
I'M A FAGGOT

I decided that one day
I would wear a crown to school.

So, the third day of school,
I came in wearing a princess crown.

It was a super beautiful crown,
with fake beading, pink hair....

And it was a little weird because,
even though I was pretty used to it,

everybody started looking at me.

And from that moment on,
everybody started to know me

and everybody started to talk about me.

Especially bad things,
of which I remember....

'faggot', they also called me 'that dude'.

Many of you have not realized



that when I put on a crown,

it is a political act.

And when I put on a princess backpack,

I'm fighting a system that oppresses me.

And when I wear pink,

and I go out and attract attention,

I'm fighting against a society

that rejects me and denies me
the right to enjoy my own life.

Because I'm in danger for being who I am.

And when I go out on the streets,
I'm scared.

And the ten minutes it takes me
to go from Plaza España to school and back,

I'm scared I'm gonna run into
some bastard who'll go crazy

and beat me up or kill me.

Hi! I'm Kevin and it's good to be here!



Today I bring you
a recommendation in SpanishQueens.

You've probably seen
Samantha Hudson's video,

it's a music video, where...

well, God calls Samantha and says,

''Hey, we don't admit you into our
Christian flock cos you're a faggot.''

The video is now on its 40,000 views.

This guy's from Majorca, like me.

So, well, I'm not going to spoil you

I'll show you a little bit of the video
to bring yourself to watch it.

I'm a faggot and I love church

But they won't let me in
Because I get into hot water

I always wear tops and miniskirts
I'm very trampy

And the nuns
seem to have a problem with that

I'm a faggot and I love Jesus Christ

But that doesn't really matter
to the fucking bishop

He kicked me out of the church
for making a scene

I was just yelling at Jesus
I wish I could fuck him

I'm a faggot

Nobody could have ever thought

that this video

would go so far
and create so much controversy.

After all, it was a work

he had been asked to do in high school.

He did it, he presented to
and got an incredible grade.

Faggot

Faggot

Faggot

Faggot

But because of the religion teacher,

a time bomb exploded.

THE CHILDREN'S OMBUDSMAN OPEN PROCEEDINGS
FOR THE BLASPHEMOUS VIDEO

I'm a faggot and they call me Samantha

But don't think
I cover myself with a blanket

I think he was so inconsiderate
and overwhelmed.

Iván, where are you?

I'm not taking any pictures of you,
I'm just recording, silly.

Iván was terrible. If it wasn't what he
wanted, he threw himself to the ground

he made a fuss and a big row
that that made us all die of shame.

When I met him
he didn't even have a viral video yet,

but he was already going out
in heels and with Frozen socks,

stolen from the Disney store.

He's very creative.

He loves music,

I didn't know that this kind of music,
but yes, he loves music.

I proclaim myself
creator of Samantha's hit.

Because he sent me the video, like...

when your son shows you
the macaroni necklace he has made.

And I saw the potential
of that video, of that song

And I saw that it had a lot of views
to be on a private channel,

on a school channel, and I said,
''This has to be amazing in live''.

So, I ran over to the computer
and created a profile of him.

But a company profile,
to commercialize that channel.

Since I had suffered so many setbacks
as I was becoming youtuber,

I already knew what mistakes not to make.

I didn't know Samantha

until the boom in Palma de Mallorca
that left us all quite surprised.

Yeah, we all knew he was gay,
and we've all accepted that

because it's something normal,
but Samantha caught us by surprise.

And if I've been so happy
at this institute,

it's because of all the diversity,

that they are like they are
and they struggle to remain so.

So, am I a faggot?

Yes. Am I that dude?

Yes. And I hope to be one all my life.

Stop filming now, you're a pest!

A STORY OF FAITH, SEX AND ELECTRO-QUEER

PART I
THE PEAK

If I don't do it now,
when will I do it? Never.

It looks like my eyelids
are like super deep now.

It seems I've been crying.

I'm a super-sensitive girl.

All straight men look at my ass

And even if they don't say it
I know they have a boner

They say they look at me
Because I'm that dude

But they don't cheat on me
They like my butt

I move it down I move it up

Come on.

Who gives more than 25?

Fifty!

Fifty?

Why, are you married?

Axel is married, guys,
so, the bidding is cancelled.

Cementerios, you can play the next song.

This one's super good. Do you know it?

I'm wearing heels to buy bread

And no one knows
But they're from the Chinese bazaar

All my jewels are from Eroski

But I say they're Swarovsky

My makeup is from a drugstore
But if you ask me, I'll say it's a lie

Maybe I haven't got a Fiat 500

But I've got the keys
that can pull you a leg

Let's go to the Cappuccino
for an espresso

No, girl, paparazzi stress me out.

Oh, girl, we don't make cool plans anymore

- You won't be...
- Girl! Working class? No way!

Because I'm a ruined bourgeois woman

Because I'm a ruined bourgeois woman

Because I'm a ruined bourgeois woman

And I've spent it all on bingo

Because I'm a ruined bourgeois woman

Because I'm a ruined bourgeois woman

Because I'm a ruined bourgeois woman

And I've spent it all on bingo

Iván y Samantha
are not like two different things.

I mean...

when I was a kid

I thought I was trans.

So, to explore all these things
I created a drag-queen character

called Giovanna Bon Dage.

And I made a separation, a dichotomy,

between my masculine self that was Iván,

and my feminine self
that was Giovanna Bon Dage.

So, I was like...

differentiating my personality
in two ways.

Later, I realized that this was absurd,

cos I didn't have to separate
myself into two,

it's completely understandable
that in the same person

there is a feminine side
and a masculine side.

So, Samantha

would be like

the representation
of this thought and this reflection

that I became aware.

So, for me, Samantha
is like Iván and Giovanna together,

is like an evolution of myself.

And that's what I am now.

It's like the combination
of those two personalities

I thought I had to separate.

He was crazy about going to Barcelona,

to him that was fucking great.

I mean, ''I'm going away Palma,
I'm leaving mom and dad,

I have wings and I'll fly by myself.''

He went away super excited,
eager to conquer the world.

I'm sick of being stopped on the street

because they think I'm Drew Barrymore.

Well, I'm not Drew Barrymore.

And Selena Winters as well.

''Are you Lucy Liu?''
She's not even Asian!

A girl asked me the other day,
''Are you Lucy Lawless?

The actress who plays Xena in the hit
TV series Xena: Warrior Princess.

And I was like...

Samantha's a crazy woman.

An inconsistent crazy woman.

Because he acts without thinking.

Samantha says what she wants.

She's impulsive, shameless,
very shameless, she's very crazy...

But I think
it's because of Samantha's age.

Maybe Samantha with 25 or 30 years old
is another kind of Samantha.

Samantha lacks maturity.

They have bags with other phrases,

but I chose this one because it was
my nickname during high school

and it's something very special to me.

He's got two personalities.
The fun and entertainment part,

that represents the irony, the sarcasm...

I don't know,
the trash world, the gay world...

super queer...
And then there's the political part,

the deep one, that represents
activism, diversity...

I love it because it's February,

it's six in the morning,
and I'm dressed like this.

My God, my tits have grown.

It's like super mega worrying.
I have huge boobs.

I just ran into two gay guys.

And they yelled at me, ''Pretty!''.

And I think it's pathetic

if they think it's funny
that a man has female beauty.

I mean, is like what the fuck.

Give me one shot, one shot, of adrenaline

Didn't you go to class?

We have to buy some booze.

Wine...

What do you think I'm gonna buy?
Gin? It costs five Euros.

I can swipe it...

I hope you do the trick
of leaving it in the cart.

No, I'll do the shoulder trick.

And I keep it there....

You dislocate your shoulder and you...

We met because a friend of mine

she wanted us to be boyfriends.

This was with 15 or 16 years old.

I think I had 15 and he had 13.

Something like that.
In those days I was like....

I wasn't gay,

I was kind of homophobe, you know?

So, the first thing I felt was rejection.

I was like, ''No, no, no...''

Then we talked a lot through WhatsApp.

I wish the neighbour sees me.

Then one day we plan to meet alone

and then we became sisters.

And we realized we had a lot in common.

You've got them faded, fucking pig!

No! It's the elastic band.

I think I have to buy new underwear.

Don't complain! I'll give you ones.

Who knows whose they are.

I got a pimple in my ass, man.

Remember when I got a pimple on my ass

that was disgusting?

And he helped me a lot to realize
that I was... super gay.

Sister, sister, sister…

Something's wrong. Sister, please....

Sister, sister, sister,
sister, where are you?

You're beside a broken mirror!

SHE'S DRUNK

Can you get my jacket, please?

I'm going to kick your fucking ass
if you film this shit.

I'm not filming...

And why do you have
that flash on your mobile?

To figure out how to help you,
it's dark in...

So, I came to Barcelona.

So, I could study what I really like,

live with my sister,
that has always been our dream

and be totally free.

We' re going to run three businesses!

- What?
- I swear, in the house.

First, Xesc is going to read the tarot here
and we are going to get paid for it.

And why do we get paid and not Xesc?

Fuck! Because it's our house.

- Next....
- And Xesc doesn't get paid?

A little, but...

I'll do the accounts
and you'll open the door.

I'll handle the appointments.

We'll also do that thing
where people leave

their bags here in one place, you know?

And the third business
it's about sleeping here one night....

AirBnB.

Yeah, I think it's illegal, but whatever.

Toni Poni told me not to start this here.
If we do, he'll report us.

The fine is like 3,000 euros.

But who knows this is an AirBnB?

I don't understand about Xesc,
did he tell you?

No, I said it myself.

I wanna handle the appointments.

No, I'm the receptionist.

But I sing?

Wait, I'm gonna go check that thing...

OK.

For a few months now
I've begun to frequent

Personal ads To find love

I always talk to strangers
Day and night, without stopping

And I've eyed an Australian
That I'm starting to like him

He doesn't have any pictures of his face
But I don't care

Because he told me
That he's going to call me by Skype

Eat my pussy once a day

Zero sugars Omega 3

Eat, eat, eat my pussy

- Does it end like this?
- Yeah.

Okay, what details can we put in
to make it sound better?

I don't know.
Do we record the voice first? And then...

Really?

Because without...

OK.

Wait, I'm going to write down
the beginnings of this,

because that's what I always forget.
Afterward I know how to follow.

I always record
with the lyrics in front of me.

Really?

But at the concerts
you remember all your lyrics.

No.

I don't like his music
nor what his lyrics say.

I respect him, he's my nephew
and he's free to do what he wants.

But I don't like it
because it hurts a lot of people.

And if it doesn't hurt them,
it can be offensive to them,

there can be consequences.

Being honest, I've only seen the fan part.

I mean, really.

In La Pringada I do see this hater part

when she released the video.

All the young people loved it.

Even if it wasn't that person's taste,
it was like, ''Wow, man, LOL, LOL''.

But it's still his life

and he decides what he does with it.
I respect it even if I don't like it.

Eat my pussy
It's got positive calories, Vitamin C

Eat, eat, eat my pussy

Once a day

Zero sugars Omega 3

Eat, eat, eat my pussy

It's got a lot of fiber
A lot of bifidus for the toilet

Eat me, eat me
And if you don't like it

Well, I'm so sorry
I don't change, so fuck you

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you

You'll say, what hair are you shaving?

Well, I don't know,
but sometimes it comes out.

Unfortunately.

One day I went to a beauty shop

and I told the girl I had a lot of hair,

so, besides she tried to sell me a cream,
she told me to go to church with her.

So, you have already seen
that the grace of the Lord can do anything.

Why do you get the Laser Hair Removal,
if you have the church to pray for it?

Well, because you're dumb. It's true.

What are you doing with that person?

What are you doing with that one?
Mostly homophobes and all those people.

Well, I do whatever I want.
Love is free.

But I prefer roast beef, I'm the bitch

The bad bitch Samantha
I'm the bitch, the bad bitch Samantha

I'm the bitch
the bad bitch Samantha

I'm the bitch
the bad bitch Samantha

Room tour, first.

Hi! I can't...

I'm going to show you my room,
my new room, cos I've moved.

Come here.

It's very small,
because I like very enclosed spaces,

and here I have my posters

like I'm a teenager,

of all my cultural idols.

There Rocky Horror,
this is Hannah Montana.

Two postcards of Maria Isabel
with mythical phrases.

That's the cross from my grandma's coffin,
whose funeral was about a year ago.

When I looked myself in the mirror,

then I looked at him,
and he looked at me like that.

He's like,
''Wow Samantha, you look so good''

and I could go out ready and steady.

This coat was my grandma's

and it matches the costume jewellery
I took from her.

When she died, I took all her jewellery.

This is one of my favourite pieces
because it's a sweater with my face on it.

And this is my favourite dress,
a Shin-Chan's dress.

I wear it
at my most important events like...

baptisms.

This is my Pepa Pig diary.
This is where I write all my secrets.

This is my favourite thing,

it's a big dildo,

and I've only used it once.

This one's smaller. I'll show you.

This one's about 16 centimeters long.

In the box, it looks like super big,
but it's a shit actually.

It's good to me
because I'm power bottom, but...

I stick the whole thing in me
not long ago because I felt like it.

So, I used a lot of lube
and I stick the whole thing in.

But I didn't really enjoy it,
it was just like an achievement.

Like, ''Today I'll stick
the whole thing in''.

Next to the dildo
I have a picture with my grandma.

Have you seen it? This was me
when I was a kid, I was blond.

Sometimes I sit here,

and I rest.

REQUIEM
FOR GRANDMA

A wooden box A simple chest

With a whole life inside it

Tell me where you're taking her

Tell me

I'll do whatever you want

Please

It hurts my heart

Because of its absence
It hurts, because of its absence

My heart

Is heart-breaking to me

Today my eyes weep with sadness

Because his presence is gone

It's very hard to play the piano.

Guys, I had sex today.

I've had a lot of anal sex.

Like a table leg was beating up my ass.

And I've realized that I don't like it.

I mean, I like it because I enjoy it,
but it doesn't satisfy me.

The more I do it,
the less I feel like I want to repeat.

I wish I was a sex hooligan,

I wish I was a super fan and said

''Hey, sex, I love you''.
But I can't.

It's so hard.

Unless it's with your husband.

No, seriously,
does this happen to any of you too?

Or is it just me?

Leave me a comment and subscribe!

No.

Why don't you make an omelette
and then give it to me?

- No
- OK.

The other day...

we had a threesome, the sister and I....

What? With who?

We went out partying in Choco-Churros.

Then I turned around and there was
another guy who was like a gorilla.

You told me you said,
''Hello, do you have a boyfriend?''

We ended up in his house and...

A super nice loft.

David, it's not a loft, it's got walls....

The living room and the kitchen were all...

Well, we fucked.
Well... he lost his boner.

- He?
- Yes.

Cos he was drunk.

You were jerking him off or something.

Well, I liked it, it gave me pleasure,

in fact, we fucked twice.

But then I thought better of it
and I hadn't enjoyed it much.

Because I had no link to him.

Sometimes I feel like
I only sleep with men to satisfy a desire,

to feel sexually attractive.

And that desire is never satisfied,
it makes it worse.

Cos you don't feel good about yourself?

No, because I fuck people
who don't provide me with anything.

A lot of people at Instagram
have told me I'm demisexual.

No

Maybe, yes.

No, no, no...

You're not a demisexual, sister,
you've fucked with a lot of men.

- Maybe it doesn't satisfy you...
- But it's not like pleasant sex,

it's not about sexual attraction.

Most of the time I did it

because I was drunk or insecure.

Why would I fuck a 63-year-old man
if I'm not attracted to him?

I think sometimes you do it like,

should I fuck someone
or should I fuck someone? Well, Yes.

I do that because of insecurity, I think.

I don't know. But I don't believe
in demisexuality either.

A lot of people are telling me
that the solution to my sex problems

is to stop being bottom.

Never!

The conflict is not
in the role I adopt in bed,

because I'm very happy
to be a power bottom,

it's just that it is so hard for me
to create a link with people.

It's like, ''Why should I fuck with you
if you don't interest me?''

I think I should have sex
with more trustworthy people.

I wish I could fuck my father.

I don't follow him cos there are things
I'd rather not see, or not know.

Because I don't know how to separate
the character from the person.

Maybe because I'm his aunt
and because I love him so much,

and I don't know how to separate it.
I can't see the two of them separately

for me he's my nephew, he's my child,

and I don't care
if he's playing Samantha or Iván.

I've already got tested,

and I recommend that if you've had sex,
risky sexual practices,

even if you didn't have it,
get tested.

It was so funny,
because I had to have a test in my anus

and I stuck a stick up my ass
to get the sample out.

And when I took it out
there was a giant hair,

like super long,
like three centimeters long.

But there's always a moment when I said,

''I'm going to see what he has upload,

I'm going to see
what fucking madness he's done now.

These are precise moments
but I don't usually follow him.

I think it hurts me more
to follow him all the time

than to know the minimum necessary.

And that's what I do,
I know the minimum necessary.

Guys, I'm an asshole. And two days after
I got tested for STDs,

I swallowed a stranger's semen.

So, I'm going back
to the Sexual Health Center.

I mean, I have two rankings

when we talk about drugs and using drugs.

For example, there are
the little drugs that I use

and then there are the drugs.
The little drugs include alcohol,

cigarettes and joints,
which are like things

that don't affect so much
your way of being.

I know that most of excess deaths

in Spain and in the world
are from tobacco and alcohol.

Well, yes, but why?
Because they're the legal.

Then, drugs include everything else.

Like: cocaine, speed...

All this shit I that I don't even control.

This weekend I have tried...

one of the drugs.

And I'm super radical for that, but...

I think, if you use your head,
you can do everything.

But if you use a hard drug,

a drug like that,
what are you thinking about?

If the alcohol, it's giving you an effect

that's okay.
Why do you want to use another drug?

You know, that drug can kill you.

How many times have you heard that someone

who's been using cocaine
or speed or shit like that,

killed someone and then he said,

''Holy shit, I killed this person''.

And you would say,
''Knowing all this information, Sele,

why did you consume
cocaine this weekend?''

Well, I don't have
a logical answer, to be honest.

But I did, because I felt like it

That's all.

I'm going to Adrià's
to keep working on the album.

Today, while I was getting ready at home,

I've thought about one thing,

and that's I'm an artist.

I mean, a band I really like
has released an album,

and it's got songs like super cool.

And I've been thinking,

''You're geniuses, how do you come up
with these letters and stuff?''

And then I thought, ''Fuck,

that's what people say to me, you know?''

Well, not all people, I'm not Lady Gaga.

But sometimes they say to me,

''How did you get inspired
to do that thing?''

And I'm like...

I don't know, random.
It just come to my mind.

Yeah, I think he can succeed.

She's very lazy.
Really, she's a very slack person.

And I think if he wants, he can.

He who wants to, does more than he who can.

He doesn't do anything.
He doesn't have a YouTube channel,

he doesn't upload photos in a regular way,

he doesn't change the content,
doesn't upload new songs nor video clips,

he doesn't do collaborations,
he doesn't do anything.

I mean, what does he do?

He does four gigs in clubs with four
40-year-old faggots, and that's it?

He could do more things and he knows it,

because his songs are so good,
but he doesn’t take advantage of it.

Sometimes I forget that what
I do is something cool.

Do you understand me?

I fucked him
and I got herpes on my mouth,

but it's not because of it,
because the test was negative...

His face's weird in this picture,
don't you think? This part is like...

straight and in this part has volume.

Right.

It's like a figure that is in 2D
and in 3D at the same time.

And did you like it?

If you want,
we can keep on with 'Eat my pussy'

o we can do 'Bitch juice'.

- Do you have the lyrics?
- Yes, on the mobile.

Let's go.

And then you add everything?

Because 'Bitch Juice'
wasn't completed yet...

Let's see.

Last thing you add was like a violin

and that sounded super good
because it looked like very...

- cool.
- Yeah.

Bitch juice Come come come

Bitch juice Come and help me

Sound good.

- Really?
- You can do it higher.

This is so funny!

I swear I ca do it.

I swear I ca do it!

Since the day I saw you

- No.
- I can't do the tone.

Since the day I saw you

Dress of Ágatha Ruiz

I knew you were meant for me

I like this.

And here you can sing
the chorus if you want.

You, my Chicote

Another verse like that.

And we'll both be together

Cooking love

You, my Chicote

And I, your little girl

And we'll both be together

Cooking love

- I was on my way back from a party.
- To you home?

I was coming back alone,
I don't know why.

Because I don't know
where the hell she was.

Then she freaked out,
cos you come home, and someone tell you

''Hey, I fucked a beggar.''
Well, she freaked out.

A really weird guy was following me

and I turned around and I saw him stop.

Like, when I looked at him, he stopped.

Then I kept walking again
and he kept following me, and I told him...

But what was he like?

Toothless.

- How old?
- You've already spoiled it! Very bad.

- Forty-two?
- Two.

Well, 45 if you want to round off.

But he was a very strange guy.

And I stood up, and he came like...

It was obvious he was following me.

And I said, ''Are you following me?''

He said,

''Yeah''. And me,
''Because you want sex?''

And he said yes.

And since I was very drunk,
I said, ''Let's go''.

And we went to the door of the Tango
and I said: ''What do you want?''

And he said he wanted oral sex.

Then he sucked
my dick happily and he left.

- Anal or oral?
- Oral.

I have anal sex with a beggar
and I kill myself.

And you weren't afraid of getting...?

No, because I thought,
''Well, he did it to me, it's okay.''

I didn't think I could get anything
from his mouth to my penis.

But I didn't get anything, I'm cool.

So, I think he were toothless
because it was like a very strange touch,

and sometimes he smiled
and his mouth was black.

Yuck, Samantha!

But I was really drunk,

maybe it's like an effect of alcohol,
but I don't know...

And... I don't know.

- And you came?
- Yeah.

In his mouth?

So bad!

He was a very gentlemanly and kind man.

I think he was just a pedophile.

- Well...
- I don't know.

- Sound recording?
- Yes!

- Camera recording?
- Yes!

OK, action sound.
'Samantha pictures on the street'.

- First.
- First.

How should do I pose?

You can imitate this girl's posture.

I've always been behind this.

I take care of the lights or the outfit.
And there's a song where I sing a sentence.

Hello sister,
Tell me what's going on

I left home without my panties on

Camera recording?

Second picture.

Second...

I've been jealous sometimes, actually.

But, I don't know.

From whom was Selena Winters born?

Nobody says 'Selena Winters'
without thinking of Samantha first.

Samantha Hudson!

It's not like... ''I'm so jealous!''

Because I don't really like it, I mean,

it's not my vocation to be a singer.
Because I'm a terrible singer.

I love to sing, but since I sing so badly,
why should I sing?

I'm a better dancer than singer.

I've never been in love
with Samantha, ever.

I forced myself to like her
when I met her.

I did it to bother a friend.

Everyone thinks he's got a life
rhythm like, ''party, party, party''.

We go partying on weekends
and some Thursday,

but we don't go partying every day.

- Battery low.
- Fuck! Just like you.

I think he has a rhythm of life

that doesn't do justice
with what he wanted.

Like looking for a job, like...

write lyrics and stuff, do songs.

It's up to him.

I'm answering you
because you're asking me,

but it's up to him.

PART II
THE FALL

Guys, I'm in Seville.

It has rained, and I corroborate
that the rain in Seville is a marvel.

Wow, it's so cool!

- That's the Giralda.
- What is the Giralda?

Hi!

This is an unboxing, well, like a haul,

because I went shopping in Seville

and I bought wonder things at Humana
and I'm going to show them to you.

Because I have nothing else to do.

The first thing I bought was this.

It's a vest,

like super cool.

And buttoned up like before

it's a beautiful top.

This is...

leggings.

Have you seen?

SAMANTHA HUDSON HAS JUMPED OFF A BALCONY
AND IS NOW IN A HOSPITAL

IT'S ICONIC THAT SAMANTHA HUDSON
COMES TO SEVILLE AND JUMPS OFF A BALCONY

SAMANTHA HUDSON HAS FALLEN OFF A BALCONY
AND IS NOW IN THE HOSPITAL

SAMANTHA HUDSON HAS JUMPED OFF A BALCONY
AND IS NOW IN THE HOSPITAL????

Iván for playing the character of Samantha
has the courage to climb a wall,

climb up to a balcony
and fall on his face.

It is the feeling I get.

He wants to attract so much attention,

make a good impression
or even surpass his character,

that he's capable of anything.
And, of course, he doesn't think.

What's he gonna think?

What explanation can he give?

My sister calls me and tells me that...

she has just spoken with Iván,
and he has had...

and accident or a mishap
or... Because it was something...

he did, it wasn't an accident.

It was consequences of alcohol.

I didn't see my eye,
for God's sake. It's scary.

I FELL OFF A BALCONY

It's hideous!

It was amazing. Yesterday
I was going to go out partying so happy,

and suddenly
I thought it was a really good idea

to come down from a first floor
throwing myself off the balcony.

And I smashed myself into the floor
and now I'm in the hospital.

He didn't call anyone,
he didn't call me...

He didn't tell anyone,
he just uploaded it.

I think he did it on purpose.

Like, ''You'll see how their faces look

when they suddenly know
I'm in the hospital.''

It's true, guys, it's not a joke.

That I've really jumped off a balcony.

But... Fuck, man, I'm super crazy.

Guys, I'm gonna start a national tour,

and I'm going to go to different cities
in Spain to jump off balconies.

How random can it be?

''Imagine if I jumped a balcony,

what would people say?

They'll freak out with Samantha.''
I think that's all.

And if he's also drunk...

It works with me, I have
a bittersweet feeling about Samantha.

Because it's like, ''Fuck, Iván,
you go too far playing Samantha''.

But then... I'm a super fan.

HEY, I'M FINE
THANKS YOU ALL FOR THE MESSAGES

It was quite dramatic for everyone.

A broken nose, a black eye,
an air bubble in the head...

and alone,
even though he was with his friends.

Jumping off a first floor...

is a childish attitude, isn't it?

Or an attitude
of not responsible person.

You can be drunk and whatever you want,

but I've been drunk a thousand times

and I know
if I jump off this floor, I'll die.

Maybe you'll tell me,
''Take that glass and do this...''

You can do this...

but jumping off a first floor...

We need to pull him up short.

When you do acts
that endanger your life,

it's no longer
about you playing a character

and you have a lot of followers.

It's about you having to know
where to stop and we didn't know...

if he was aware of that,
and if he knew how to stop it.

Hi, I'm home now.

Look at my eye.

Do you like it?

I hope so, I've done it for you.

My sister and brother-in-law
told him: ''It's over.

You're not going to stay in Barcelona

until we know that we can trust you

and that you're mature enough to say

''he's far away
and we know nothing will happen''.

We understand
that you want to go on doing your gigs,

that you have your life,

with your Samantha character,

but you can't keep the family on edge

and we have to have a peace

and confidence in you
that you have to earn.

She told me
she was going back to Mallorca...

to grow up a bit.
I think she needed that.

He understands it,
and he said, ''It's true,

I think I have a problem
and when I drink can't control

my actions and well...
what I have to do is not drink''.

Oh, my God, what a mess.

It' s really funny,
because the last video I filmed

I was in Seville,
trying on the things I had bought,

and I was like,
''I go partying tonight!''...

But suddenly I'm super changed
and everything has taken a turn.

I'm going to tell you the situation.

I was going to party in Seville,

but as I left my friends' entrance hall
and headed for the club,

my friends' neighbours
went out on the balcony,

like, ''Guys! Come here!''.

And I literally climbed the facade,

in heels and with a Shin-Chan dress.

And I snuck in their balcony,

I lay down on their sofa like 10 minutes,

and after 10 minutes,
I got up, and I jumped off the balcony.

I've been in the hospital
seven days or so.

I have a...
Well, I think the wound's closed now.

I had a fracture
in my forehead and eye bone.

And the forehead fracture was dangerous
because it connected with the brain.

I'd got an air bubble in the brain...

The cerebrospinal fluid,
or something like that...

Well, a brain fluid
dripped out of my nose.

Well, we'll go by car, no problem.

What do I do? I have my whole life here.

Well...

Okay. Do you like Barcelona?

Barcelona is very beautiful.

You guys talking about the Catalans
and it' s got really cool stuff.

My God, what have I done?
What madness have I done?

I don't know,
but that's not what worries me the most.

Really, I'm fine.
It could have been worse.

What worries me most is...

the fact that I'm going back to Majorca.

I thought my end in Barcelona
would be a voluntary return,

with Samantha Hudson…

with everything I wanted to get,
but more accomplished.

The thing about having
the same impact again,

the same fame as before,
when I released 'I'm a faggot'....

all those things,
all the opportunities that came my way,

to get it all back
and have it all well worked.

And I don't know...

I'm 18 years old
and I'm talking like I'm gonna die.

And I've got a lot of life to live
and a lot of things to do.

Well, I think that...

I have tried to live it all very intensely

and like I don't have time, but...

Samantha doesn't have to succeed
right now

and she never has to either, you know?

I don't know what Samantha's future is,
I have no fucking idea.

Because you're here today
and you're here tomorrow.

Iván's future, I'm sure is very good,

because he's a really smart kid.

He'll probably become an actor.
Is his future, is what he wants.

I believe in Iván's talent, I do.
Samantha is...

You know what? The figures...

The figures are all fleeting,
the characters do this, they change.

When your fame ends,
someone else's begins.

I think over the years
Samantha will go one way

and he will grow up
becoming what he really wants to be.

When Samantha dies,
Iván will do something else.

Well, I wish, because it's not unusual he
doesn't do anything.

We didn't say goodbye
when he went back to Majorca.

I'm laughing, but it's true.

Our relationship
was a roller coaster ride lately.

Every three weeks
we'd fight for no reason.

I don't think
we'll ever live together again.

I don't think so.

But, the time changes a lot.

We are very similar,
we cannot always be like...

Sometimes we're also like...

No resentment, no hate. I don't hate him,
and he doesn't hate me, I think.

I have no resentments
and neither does he.

Maybe we need some break, I think.
Or never to see each other again.

I'm much better now.

And it comforts me
not to think that this is not...

a break nor a turning back,

but simply the end of a phase,

which I have enjoyed very much
and which I do not regret.

And start another new phase.

And I don't take it as Samantha's death,

but as its rebirth.

And the summary of all this,

is that what doesn't kill you
makes you stronger.

EPILOGUE
I'M SAMANTHA

Hi. Samantha's indisposed,

because she was a little drunk

and had an accident recently,
so, she's recovering.

So, the first performance, of two,

I'll do it happily.

The first song

is the one that almost everyone knows,
or I hope so,

because otherwise I'm going to sleep
with your sexual partners

and I'm going to swallow your children.
The song is called 'Faggot'.

I'm a faggot

Faggot

Faggot

Faggot

Faggot

Faggot

Faggot

I'm a faggot and the church attacks me

Because I finger myself where I go poop

And even though I pray
Every calendar day

They'll always think

That I suck cocks in the toilets

It's true!

I'm a faggot

Faggot

Faggot

I'm a faggot

This was my first hit

and it was a success

in the Convent of Carmelitas Descalzas,

God bless them. Unbelievable.

Thank you very much to them,
even if they are barefoot.

I'm always naked and nobody
tells me anything. A round of applause.

When I walk into the club
Everybody talks

The bitch has arrived
The one in charge has arrived

All straight men look at my ass

I'm the bitch
The bad bitch Samantha

I'm the bitch
The bad bitch Samantha

Eat my pussy

It's so funny
And super practical for stress

He's the sexiest man on earth,

he has a cooking show.

You, my Chicote

And I, your little girl

And we'll both be together

Cooking love

You, my Chicote

And I, your little girl

And we'll both be together

Cooking love

I would like to take advantage
of this opportunity to thank you all

who have expressly come to see me.

And those who discovered me today,

I'm so glad for you.

And I want to tell you

to not care what other people say,

nor to the criticism of others,
listen and if you see that....

fuck it, but always be yourselves,

whether people like it or not.

Experience.

Don't be afraid of change.

Be authentic.

Thanks and good night.

Subtitles: Eva Venegas