Saltwater (2012) - full transcript

[MAN] IS HAPPINESS

A PREDETERMINED DESTINY?

A STRING OF COINCIDENCES?

OR IS IT A SERIES OF CHOICES

THAT WE MAKE?

HOW CAN I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[LAUGHING]

WELL, AREN’T YOU A SIGHT

FOR SORE EYES?

HEY, RICH.

LOOK AT YOU.

LAST TIME I SAW YOU,

YOU WERE A SKINNY TWINK.

NOW YOU’RE A MUSCLE QUEEN.

I’M NOT A QUEEN.

OH, HONEY, GET OVER IT.

WE’RE ALL QUEENS.

IT’S SPACIOUS.

MM-HMM.

NOT A BAD UPGRADE

SINCE THE LAST TIME

YOU CRASHED AT MY PLACE, HUH?

NO. NOT AT ALL.

OKAY.

I’M JUST GOING TO SAY IT.

I CAN’T BELIEVE

YOU DIDN’T REENLIST.

I CAN.

IT’S JUST TIME FOR A CHANGE.

WELL, THIS IS A GREAT TOWN

TO DO IT IN,

AND WITH ME

AS YOUR TOUR GUIDE,

YOU ARE SET.

THANKS FOR LETTING ME STAY HERE

WHILE I GET ON MY FEET.

DON’T MENTION IT.

YOU’RE LIKE FAMILY.

WE HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER.

SO WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOU?

ARE YOU DATING?

YOU SEEING ANYBODY?

DATING.

THAT WOULD BE A NEGATIVE.

HONEY,

MOST MEN CAN’T HANDLE ME.

YOU’LL FIND SOMEBODY.

YOU JUST WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF.

YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE

TO BEAT THEM OF WITH A STICK.

I DON’T KNOW

ABOUT ALL THAT.

LOOK AT YOU.

NAVY MAN DE-LISH.

EX-NAVY.

NAVY, EX-NAVY, WHATEVER.

YOU’RE STILL FRESH MEAT.

BESIDES, EVERY GAY GUY

I KNOW LOVES SEAMEN.

AND I ALREADY HAVE SOMEBODY

IN MIND FOR YOU.

LET’S JUST PUT THAT

ON THE BACK BURNER

FOR RIGHT NOW.

NO, THIS IS A QUALITY GUY.

HE’S AUSTRALIAN,

HE’S TALL, MUSCULAR.

ALL RIGHT, MAYBE

I’M A LITTLE INTERESTED.

WHAT’S HIS NAME?

JOSH.

AND WHY DO YOU THINK

WE’RE SUCH A MATCH?

WELL, FIRST, BECAUSE

YOU’RE TASTE HASN’T CHANGED,

AND SECOND, LIKE YOU,

HE’S THE PROVERBIAL

NEEDLE IN THE GAY STACK

ALL RIGHT.

WELL, WE’LL SEE.

I’M SO RIGHT ABOUT THIS.

WHEN THE TIMING IS RIGHT

FOR BOTH OF YOU...

I CAN’T WAIT TO BE

A BRIDESMAID.

OH. WHO’S THIS LITTLE GUY?

YOUR WHAT NAME.

HER NAME IS LILLY, OOH.

AND SHE IS THE ONE

TRUE LOVE OF MY LIFE.

OH. WHO’S A DADDY’S GIRL?

GIVE ME A KISS.

RICH. RICH.

MAYBE THIS IS WHY

YOU’RE SINGLE.

SINGLE BY CHOICE, BOO.

DON’T GET IT CONFUSED.

NOW LET’S GET YOU

SETTLED IN.

AND HERE’S YOUR ROOM.

WOW, THIS IS DECORATED.

IT’S UM...

MISS SAIGON. I DID IT

SO YOU’D FEEL AT HOME.

I WAS IN IRAQ.

UH HUH. WHERE DID

MISS SAIGON TAKE PLACE?

VIETNAM.

MM-HMM.

WELL, ISN’T THAT NEAR IRAQ?

YEAH, EXCEPT FOR, LIKE,

13 COUNTRIES IN BETWEEN.

RICH, WHAT IS ALL THIS?

OH, THAT’S A

"WELCOME TO YOUR HOME" GIFT.

FRESH MEAT

NEEDS TO BE PREPARED.

SEX IS ABOUT

THE LAST THING ON MY MIND.

MAYBE IT’S THE LAST

THING ON YOURS,

BUT WHEN THE BOYS

SEE YOU, HONEY,

IT’S GOING TO BE

ON THEIRS.

AND I LIKE TO BE PREPARED.

OH, I GOT YOU

MULTIPLE SIZES,

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,

I REALLY WASN’T SURE.

YEAH, WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD

HAVE BEEN A BOY SCOUT.

OH, NO.

I HATE THOSE OUTFITS.

THOSE SCARVES? UGH.

THE SHORTS AREN’T BAD,

THOUGH.

LISTEN, YOU GET SETTLED IN,

AND I’M GOING TO GO TALK

TO YOUR FUTURE BOYFRIEND, JOSH.

MI CASA ES SU CASA.

THAT’S SPANISH.

UH-HUH.

YEAH,

SO DINNER LATER, RIGHT?

YEAH, SOUNDS GREAT.

I’LL TEXT YOU WHERE I’LL BE.

HOW’S THAT?

PERFECT. IT WILL GIVE ME

A CHANCE TO TAKE A NAP

AND SHOWER UP.

I’M REALLY GLAD

YOU CAME HOME.

ME TOO.

THANK YOU AGAIN.

OKAY, HIS NAME IS WILL,

HE’S A VERY OLD FRIEND OF MINE,

AND YOU TWO ARE PERFECT

FOR EACH OTHER.

AND WHY’S THAT?

LISTEN. WHO’S THE BEST

MATCHMAKER YOU KNOW?

HE’S STAYING WITH ME

WHILE HE GETS ON HIS FEET.

IN THAT ROOM?

DOES HE LIKE

THE SPANISH THEME?

FOR YOUR INFORMATION

I REDECORATED.

IT’S VERY ASIAN NOW.

I FEEL SORRY

FOR THAT GUY ALREADY.

HE JUST GOT OUT

OF THE NAVY.

I WAS NAVY BACK HOME

IN AUSTRALIA.

I KNOW. THAT’S WHY

I KEEP SAYING YOU’RE

PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER.

WHAT ELSE?

LISTEN, YOU’LL LOVE HIM,

BECAUSE I KNOW YOUR TYPE.

DO YOU?

YES. YOU LIKE SKANKS.

SKANKS?

MM-HMM. SKANK.

S. K. A. N. K. SKANK.

STRAIGHT ACTING, KIND, ATHLETIC,

NICE, KISSABLE. SKANK.

YOU’RE CALLING

YOUR FRIEND A SKANK.

"STRAIGHT ACTING."

THAT’S A BIT OFFENSIVE

EVEN FOR YOU, RICH.

TO WHOM?

IT DOESN’T OFFEND ME.

AND IT ISN’T OFFENSIVE.

IT’S ACCURATE.

SKANK.

DOES HE LIKE TALL GUYS?

TRUST ME ON THIS ONE.

NOW TONIGHT,

WE’RE ALL GOING TO DINNER

AND YOU’RE MEETING HIM.

DOES HE KNOW

WHAT A WANKER YOU ARE?

WE ALL HAVE OUR CALLING,

HONEY.

OKAY. I’M IN.

IF NOTHING ELSE,

I GET TO MEET A SKANK.

PERFECT. NOW I HAVE

SOME THINGS TO TAKE CARE OF,

SO I’M THINKING RAIN AT 7:00?

GREAT.

I LOVE YOU,

BUT I’VE GOT TO RUN.

BYE, MISTER.

WELCOME TO RAIN.

HI, I’M HERE

TO MEET MY FRIEND, RICH.

YOU MUST BE WILL.

YEAH.

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

AH, FRESH MEAT.

RIGHT ON.

RICH TOLD US TO EXPECT YOU.

COME ON BACK.

OH, THAT’S NOT MY FRIEND.

ARE YOU WILL?

YEAH.

HI, I’M JOSH.

RICH TOLD ME

YOU WERE COMING.

OH. HEY.

IS HE HERE YET?

NO. SIT DOWN.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

THANKS.

NICE SHIRT.

YEAH,

THAT’S EMBARRASSING HUH?

JUST MEANS

YOU’VE GOT GOOD TASTE.

THAT’S RICH. "SORRY, GUYS.

CAN’T MAKE IT. TRAFFIC."

WOW. WHAT?

HE SORT OF TOLD ME

HE WAS GOING TO TRY

AND SET ME UP WITH YOU.

THAT’S WHY

HE SET THIS DINNER UP.

YOU KNEW?

YOU DIDN’T?

NO.

WOULD YOU HAVE COME

IF YOU DID?

PROBABLY NOT.

BUT I’M GLAD

I’M HERE NOW.

OKAY, GUYS, CAN I GET YOU

SOMETHING TO DRINK?

ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE

A DRINK-DRINK?

SURE.

OKAY, CAN I HAVE -

CAN I GET A MARGARITA

ON THE ROCKS WITH NO SALT?

SURE.

HOW ABOUT FOR YOU?

I’LL HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME.

IT’S WHAT I ALWAYS HAVE.

THANKS, GUYS.

THANK YOU.

SO, RICH SAYS YOU’RE

NEW IN TOWN TODAY, YEAH?

YEAH.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANS?

NOT A ONE.

HOW DO YOU KNOW RICH?

I, UM,

THIS IS EMBARRASSING.

I TOOK A DRAMA CLASS

A FEW YEARS AGO.

RICH WAS IN THAT CLASS.

YOU WANT TO BE AN ACTOR?

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

I USED TO BE PAINFULLY SHY.

AND I JUST THOUGHT

IT MIGHT HELP.

DID YOU LIKE IT?

UH, SADLY,

I WASN’T VERY TALENTED.

I FIND THAT

HARD TO BELIEVE.

RICH, HOWEVER,

WAS VERY THEATRICAL.

OH, HE STILL IS.

YEAH, I HEAR YOU’RE STAYING

IN THE MISS SAIGON ROOM.

YEAH, LET’S NOT GO THERE.

IT’S FINE.

I STAYED WITH RICH

FOR A WHILE

AND IT WAS

A MEXICO THEME THEN.

YEAH, UM, THANKS.

JUST MADE ME FEEL BETTER

ABOUT SAIGON.

EXCUSE ME.

THANK YOU.

YOU’RE WELCOME.

YOU GUYS KNOW

WHAT YOU WANT YET?

YEAH.

I’LL, UM, I’LL HAVE

THE TURKEY CLUB SANDWICH,

NO MAYO. THANK YOU.

DO YOU WANT FRIES

OR CHIPS?

CHIPS.

OKAY.

AND HOW ABOUT FOR YOU?

UM, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I’LL JUST HAVE THE EXACT SAME.

OKAY, THANKS, GUYS.

THANK YOU.

GREAT MINDS

DO THINK ALIKE.

CHIPS.

VERY BOLD CHOICE.

I’M FEARLESS THAT WAY.

THAT’S A GOOD QUALITY.

SO, TOAST?

YEAH.

TO RICH’S SET UPS.

I’LL DRINK TO THAT.

SO WHAT DO YOU GET UP TO

FOR FUN IN YOUR SPARE TIME?

SPARE TIME? HAVEN’T HAD

A LOT OF THAT LATELY.

WELL, IF YOU LIKE HIKING

AND THAT TYPE OF THING,

I KNOW A GREAT PLACE

ABOUT 30 MINUTES NORTH OF HERE

I THOUGHT I SHOULD

TAKE YOU TO.

YEAH,

I LOVE ANYTHING OUTDOORS.

WHAT ELSE? UM, WHAT’S YOUR

GUILTY PLEASURE ON TV?

OH, GOD.

COME ON, COME ON.

OUT WITH IT.

THE HOUSEWIVES.

THOSE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY.

WHAT CITY?

DOESN’T EVEN MATTER.

I MEAN, THEY’RE ALL SORT OF

TRASHY AND FUN, YEAH?

YEAH. YEAH.

I ALSO LIKE DOCUMENTARIES.

YEAH, I LOVE DOCUMENTARIES!

I JUST SAW THIS ONE..UMM..

I DON’T REMEMBER THE NAME.

IT’S THEY’RE PROCESSING

ALL THIS FOOD,

AND THEY’RE SHOWING HOW

THEY TAKE IT FROM ONE--

NO, NO, NO.

IT’S "THE FOOD WE KNEW."

"THE FOOD YOU KNEW."

YES!

WHERE THEY MAKE THE NUGGETS

OUT OF THE PINK STUFF.

YEAH, YEAH.

YOU SAW THAT?

YEAH, I LOVED IT.

I HAVEN’T EATEN A NUGGET SINCE.

YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE

YOU’VE EATEN A NUGGET EVER.

THANK YOU.

YOU LOOK FANTASTIC YOURSELF.

EXCEPT,

YOU’RE LIKE JOLLY GREEN

AND I’M SPROUT.

I LIKE SPROUTS.

UMM..YOU EVER GO TO PIER 44?

I USED TO LOVE THAT PLACE,

YEAH.

OH, NO MORE?

YOU HAVE BEEN GONE

FOR A WHILE.

IT SHUT DOWN

LIKE FOUR YEARS AGO.

WHAT?

I CAN TAKE YOU TO ANOTHER PLACE

THAT’S VERY SIMILAR.

IT’S NOT FAR

FROM WHERE I LIVE.

YEAH. WHERE’S THAT?

DOWNTOWN.

I LOVE DOWNTOWN. YOU KNOW,

I LIKE HOW IT’S ALL WALKABLE,

AND THEN YOU HAVE

ALL THE SHOPS AND...

YEAH, I LIKE IT TOO.

IT’S JUST GOT THAT REAL

SENSE OF COMMUNITY.

RICH SAYS YOU’VE JUST

GOT OUT OF THE SERVICE.

YEAH, NAVY.

I WAS IN THE NAVY

BACK HOME.

OH, RIGHT ON.

14 YEARS.

WOW!

14 YEARS IS A LONG TIME

TO BE HIDING.

HIDING?

I MEAN DON’T ASK

DON’T TELL JUST ENDED,

IT’S NOT LIKE

YOU COULD HAVE BEEN OUT.

I WOULDN’T

CALL THAT HIDING.

WHATEVER YOU NEED

TO TELL YOURSELF.

HOW LONG WERE YOU IN?

TWO YEARS.

I WAS DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED

WHEN THEY FOUND SOME LETTERS

BETWEEN ME AND MY BOYFRIEND.

I THOUGHT AUSTRALIA ALLOWED

GAYS IN THE MILITARY.

THEY DO NOW.

IT WAS REVOKED IN THE MID 90’S.

THAT WAS AFTER MY TIME.

THAT SUCKS.

I DON’T THINK OUR ORIENTATION

HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH,

HOW WE, YOU KNOW,

PROTECT OUR COUNTRY.

WELL, IF LESS GUYS

HAD HID THEIR SEXUALITY,

DON’T ASK DON’T TELL WOULD HAVE

BEEN REPEALED A LONG TIME AGO.

I WISH YOU COULD HAVE HAD

THE SAME EXPERIENCE I HAD.

LET’S JUST. LET’S JUST

CHANGE THE SUBJECT, OKAY?

TYPICAL.

EXCUSE ME?

THAT’S THE FUNDAMENTAL

DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN GUYS LIKE YOU,

WILL, AND GUYS LIKE ME.

GUYS LIKE ME?

YEAH, YOU OBVIOUSLY DON’T LIKE

TO HEAR THE TRUTH ABOUT THINGS.

THE TRUTH.

HERE’S SOME TRUTH FOR YOU.

I WAS IN THE SERVICE

FOR 14 YEARS

PROVIDING FREEDOMS

FOR EVERYBODY IN THIS COUNTRY.

10 OF THOSE WERE SPENT OVERSEAS

AWAY FROM EVERYTHING AND

EVERYBODY I LOVE.

I’M SORRY, WHAT DID YOU DO

IN THE SERVICE?

I WAS DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED.

EVERYTHING I DID MEANT NOTHING!

WELL YOU’RE HOLDING ONTO THAT

PRETTY TIGHTLY AREN’T YOU?

YEAH, AND YOU SEEM TO THINK

THAT MOST OF THE GUYS

YOU SERVED WITH

WOULD BE HAPPY TO KNOW

THAT YOU’RE GAY.

THAT THEY’D EMBRACE IT

AND MARCH WITH YOU

IN A PARADE.

WELL I WOULDN’T ACTUALLY

MARCH IN A PARADE MYSELF.

WOULD YOU?

ABSOLUTELY! AND HALF

THOSE GUYS YOU’RE TALKING

ABOUT WOULD DISOWN YOU.

I MEAN, ARE YOU EVEN OUT?

OUT OF WHAT?

THE CLOSET.

I’M NOT IN.

I DON’T HAVE A STICKER ON MY CAR

IF THAT’S WHAT YOU MEAN.

I’M NOT ASHAMED

OF WHO I AM.

THERE’S A BIG DIFFERENCE WILL

ABOUT NOT BEING ASHAMED

OF WHO YOU ARE

AND JUST BEING WHO YOU ARE.

I’M SORRY THAT YOU AND I

HAD DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES.

I’M NOT SORRY

THAT I WAS HONEST!

WELL I DON’T THINK THAT

SEPARATING MY BUSINESS LIFE

FROM MY PERSONAL LIFE

MAKES ME A DISHONEST PERSON.

ALL RIGHT,

HERE YOU GUYS GO.

THANKS.

THANK YOU.

I THINK IT’S SO CUTE

WHEN COUPLES DRESS ALIKE.

THANKS.

CAN I GET YOU GUYS

ANYTHING ELSE?

NO THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, NO.

HE THINKS WE’RE A COUPLE.

MUST BE THE SHIRTS.

SANDWICH LOOKS GOOD.

LISTEN, I’M NOT

VERY HUNGRY ANYMORE.

THIS IS A SENSITIVE

SUBJECT FOR ME.

I GET THAT.

I AM REALLY SORRY I UPSET YOU.

I JUST DON’T THINK

THAT LIFE’S SOMETHING

THAT YOU CAN CHOP UP

AND SEPARATE COMPLETELY.

I APPRECIATE THAT,

BUT I THINK THAT IN CERTAIN

SITUATIONS

I JUST DISAGREE.

LISTEN, I’M JUST GOING

TO GET MY FOOD TO GO.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

YOU’RE THIS UPSET?

LOOK, IT’S NOT YOU.

THIS IS A SENSITIVE

SUBJECT FOR ME.

THIS FEELS A LITTLE

PERSONAL TO ME.

THIS IS NOT THE FIRST IMPRESSION

I WANTED TO MAKE, WILL.

YOU’RE ADORABLE.

IT’S ME.

YOU’RE FINE.

DISAGREEMENTS HAPPEN.

MAYBE NEXT TIME WILL.

I’M SORRY.

YOU’RE REALLY GOING TO GO?

CAN I GET THE CHECK PLEASE?

I’M SORRY WILL.

THANK YOU,

I’LL PICK THIS UP.

OKAY, I KNOW YOU’RE MAD

I SET YOU UP,

BUT YOU TWO ARE LIKE

TWO PEAS IN A POD, RIGHT?

WILLUP.

CHRISTINE.

YOU KNOW I HATE THAT NAME.

I KNOW YOU DO.

OH I’M SO EXCITED!

I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE HOME.

THIS IS UM QUITE THE LOOK YOU

GUYS HAVE GOING ON HERE.

OH, YOU LIKE IT? WE CALL IT AT

HOME DAY SPA CHIC.

SO? HOW’D IT GO?

NOT GREAT.

NOT GREAT OR NOT YOUR TYPE?

TOTALLY MY TYPE BUT I THINK

I REALLY UPSET HIM.

ARE YOU THAT OUT OF PRACTICE

WITH DATING?

I DON’T KNOW. I MEAN IT WAS

GOING SO WELL IN THE BEGINNING.

WHAT HAPPENED? TELL UNCLE

RICHARD ALL ABOUT IT.

JOSH IS SO CUTE.

AND IF I RECALL YOUR TYPE,

HE’S EXACTLY IT.

YEAH, WELL I’M SURE

THAT I’M NOT HIS.

NO, TRUST ME. YOU ARE

HIS TYPE TO A CAPITAL T.

NOW WHAT HAPPENED?

WE ARE JUST NOT COMPATIBLE.

TWO TOPS DON’T MAKE

A BOTTOM HUH?

OR MORE LIKE TWO BOTTOMS

DON’T MAKE A TOP.

OOOH IT’S ALWAYS

THE BIG BOYS.

AND YOU WOULD MAKE THREE.

FIRST, DON’T MAKE JOKES.

YOU’RE NOT GOOD AT IT.

YOUR JOB

IS TO LOOK PRETTY.

WHICH YOU’RE VERY GOOD AT.

MHM. YOU NEED TO KNOW

YOUR STRENGTHS.

AND SECONDLY

DO NOT CONFUSE MANNERISMS

WITH ROLES IN THE BOUDOIR.

RICH, ARE YOU SAYING

THAT YOU’RE A TOP?

HOW DO YOU KNOW

THESE TERMS?

ALL MY FRIENDS ARE GAY MEN.

HONEY.

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS ASS.

YOU WANNA KNOW WHY

IT’S SO PERFECT?

WHY?

BECAUSE IT NEVER

GETS ASSAULTED.

NOW, YOU NEED A FACIAL.

NO.

YES.

NO I DON’T WANT THIS.

NO MEANS YES.

NO MEANS NO.

OH I KNOW YOU WANT IT.

I CAN FEEL IT.

OH, HE’S GOING TO BE SO CUTE.

OKAY, CHRISTINE.

I NEED TWO VODKAS

AND ONE FOR WILL STAT.

NOW YOU JUST RELAX

AND TELL US EVERYTHING.

SIP ON THIS.

OKAY. FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS.

JUST ANSWER YES OR NO.

DID YOU THINK HE WAS CUTE?

WE WORE THE SAME SHIRT.

YES OR NO.

YES. YES.

OKAY, WELL THEN, WHAT’S THE

PROBLEM? WILL, LIFE IS SHORT.

NOW YOU’RE JUST GOING

TO HAVE TO TRUST ME

THAT I KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU.

ME AND JOSH,

HE’S NOT HAVING IT.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD LET HIM

DECIDE THAT.

AND BESIDES, YOU’RE GOING

TO SEE HIM AGAIN IN A FEW WEEKS

AT MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.

MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RICH.

THANK YOU JACK.

DID YOU GUYS GET SOME CAKE?

NOOO. JACK AND I ARE DIETING

FOR OUR CRUISE NEXT MONTH.

HELLO.

YOU LOOK LIKE GREEK GODS.

EAT SOME CAKE.

HEY GUYS.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

OH. I TOLD YOU NO GIFTS.

IT’S SMALL.

THAT’S WHAT HE SAID.

MR. RIGHT INCOMING.

OUTGOING.

WHERE’S HE GOING?

TO GET CAKE,

MAYBE YOU SHOULD JOIN HIM.

I’VE ALREADY GOT CAKE.

NOT ANYMORE.

GO GET SOME CAKE.

I ACTED LIKE AN IDIOT AT THE

RESTAURANT THE OTHER NIGHT.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICH.

HOW ARE MY TWO FAVORITE

CIRCUIT QUEENS DOING?

DIETING.

HMM.

I SEE YOU CHASED OFF WILL.

NO, HE DIDN’T HANK.

I KNOW AVOIDANCE

WHEN I SEE IT,

AND THAT IS AVOIDANCE.

OH HANK, YOU SEE IT OFTEN?

I’M JUST SAYING.

HANK, PUT A SOCK IN IT OKAY.

JOSH, YOU’RE FINE.

NOW GO TALK TO HIM.

I THINK

I’M JUST GOING TO LEAVE.

NO, NO. YOU JUST GOT HERE.

LUNCH THIS WEEK?

OF COURSE.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

IT WILL HAPPEN.

BYE JOSH.

SO, WHERE’S THE CRUISE TO?

GREECE.

WE’RE GOING TO BRING IN

A THIRD.

UH HUH.

ONLY THINKING ABOUT

POSSIBLY DOING IT.

TOTALLY DOING IT.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICH.

THANK YOU JOE.

CAN WE TAKE HIM HOME?

SHAWN.

WHERE DID JOSH JUST GO?

YOU CHASED HIM OFF.

HANK.

IT JUST WASN’T THE RIGHT

TIMING TONIGHT HONEY.

WHAT ARE YOU

SUPPOSED TO BE?

I’M A RUGBY PLAYER.

REALLY?

OOOOH.

THE SHORTS ARE HOT.

SEXY COP.

WILLUP, STRAIGHT GIRLS

LOVE HALLOWEEN,

BECAUSE WE GET TO BE SLUTS.

NICE COSTUME OFFICER.

YOU TOO. I LOVE THE SHORTS,

AND EVERYTHING IN THEM.

ALL NATURAL.

HEY GUYS,

SHOTS IN THE KITCHEN.

POSSIBLE THIRD.

LOOKS LIKE I’M TAKING SHOTS

IN THE KITCHEN.

YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME

WITH THAT.

MMM.

I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE

A STRAIGHT GUY.

HI, I’M COLLIN.

I DON’T THINK WE’VE MET.

WILL.

IT’S UH, A NICE COSTUME.

THANKS, UH WHAT ARE YOU?

I’M A RUGBY PLAYER.

IT’S NICE.

THANKS.

HEY, WILL.

JOSH.

I’M SORRY THAT I DIDN’T SAY

GOODBYE AT RICHARD’S BIRTHDAY.

THAT’S FINE.

YOU LOOK GREAT.

SO DO YOU.

I SEE YOU’VE MET

MY BOYFRIEND.

UMM, WHEN YOU’RE DONE,

I’LL BE OVER THERE.

THAT’S COLLIN.

YEAH, WE’VE MET.

IT’S JUST A SECOND DATE.

WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

WHOA WHOA WILL.

HE’S NOT MY BOYFRIEND.

DOES HE KNOW THAT?

I LOVE YOUR COSTUME.

THANKS.

YOU LOOK GREAT!

AND WHAT ARE YOU DRESSED AS?

THE BABYSITTER?

IT’S JUST A DATE.

IT’S GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HEY JOSH. YEE HAW!

NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, HANK.

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE

ISN’T GOING TO HAPPEN?

YOU AND WILL. SO STOP

WITH THE PUPPY DOG EYES.

THEY’RE NOT PUPPY DOG

EYES, HANK.

WELL YOU LOOK LIKE

YOU’RE ROBBING THE CRADLE

WITH YOUR DATE.

SINCE YOU’RE GOING TO PROBABLY

GO TO JAIL FOR STATUTORY,

WANNA BE CELL MATES?

JOSH, DO YOU MIND IF I BORROW

YOU FOR A SECOND. BYE HANK.

THANKS FOR SAVING ME THERE.

AND I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE THANKS

FOR EVERYONE BEING HERE.

THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING.

I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE THANKS

TO OUR UPCOMING CRUISE.

I AM THANKFUL FOR RICH

FOR SETTING ME UP WITH FRANK.

AND I WILL SECOND

THAT SENTIMENT.

I’M THANKFUL EVERYONE’S

SO HAPPY AND HEALTHY.

I’M THANKFUL FOR ALL THE NEW

FRIENDS THAT I’M MAKING,

AND I’M THANKFUL FOR WILL.

I’M THANKFUL FOR MY HEALTH AND

FOR MY REALLY GOOD FRIENDS.

I’M THANKFUL WE FINALLY GET

TO HAVE A CHEAP MEAL.

ALTHOUGH WE WON’T

BE HAVING CAKE.

OR A THIRD.

WE’LL SEE ABOUT THAT.

MHM.

ALRIGHT, CHEERS!

[ALL] CHEERS!

WILL, HOW DID YOU

AND MIKE MEET?

CAN I TELL HIM?

ALRIGHT SO I’M JOGGING

ON THE BEACH, RIGHT?

AND I RUN INTO

THIS GORGEOUS FACE.

I LOOK DOWN, WE’RE WEARING

THE SAME SNEAKERS.

I KNEW HE WAS PERFECT

FOR ME.

SOUNDS PERFECT.

IT IS.

IT’S YOU KNOW,

STILL REALLY NEW.

YEAH, BUT WHEN YOU KNOW,

YOU JUST KNOW.

I MEAN HOW MANY TIMES

DO YOU RUN INTO SOMEONE,

YOU’RE WEARING

THE SAME SNEAKERS,

AND YOU FALL IN LOVE

WITH THEM?

SOUNDS LIKE YOU KNOW.

I DO.

I DON’T KNOW.

SO, JOSH.

WHERE’S COLLIN?

YOU KNOW

THAT DIDN’T WORK OUT.

DID I?

IT DIDN’T.

IT DIDN’T.

SO EVEN THOUGH IT’S BEEN LIKE,

WHAT LIKE TWO WEEKS?

ABOUT TWO WEEKS, RIGHT?

LIKE, FOUR DATES.

ALRIGHT, LIKE FOUR DATES.

IT’S BEEN ABOUT

A WEEK AND A HALF.

BUT IT’S BEEN A WEEK

AND A HALF OF PERFECTION.

SO... UMM

ARE YOU SEEING ANYONE?

NO.

YOU’RE NOT.

OH MY GOD! YOU KNOW WHAT I

TOTALLY JUST REALIZED?

THIS IS OUR FIFTH DATE.

WELL, HERE’S ANOTHER

TOAST TO TIMING.

SOMETIMES THE TIMING

IS RIGHT.

MHM.

AND SOMETIMES IT’S NOT.

OKAY. CHEERS QUEERS

AND TOKEN STRAIGHT COUPLE.

AMEN.

AMEN, CHEERS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

I’VE GOT MISTLETOE.

WHO WANTS A CHRISTMAS KISS?

HO HO HO.

I DO.

WILL, YOU WANNA KISS HIM?

GIVE IT A REST.

GRINCH.

STOP BEING SO STUBBORN.

HE LIKES YOU.

ALL RIGHT, FINE.

WILL, WAIT.

WOW. GREAT ADVICE.

I’M SORRY.

OKAY TOM, THAT’S ENOUGH.

THANK YOU.

JOSH,

CAN I SEE YOUR YULE LOG?

HERE.

KISS UNDER THE MISTLETOE.

MUAH MUAH MUAH.

WHY DON’T CHICKS

ACT LIKE THAT?

MOST GAY MEN ARE WHORES.

MOST CHICKS I KNOW

ARE WHORES.

DO YOU WANNA SEE

MY YULE LOG?

OOH. I CAN BE

YOUR NAUGHTY LITTLE ELF.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

YOU TOO.

MISTLETOE KISS?

YOU DON’T HAVE

ANY MISTLETOE.

CHRISTMAS KISS?

FINE.

HOW ABOUT A REAL ONE?

YOU’VE STILL GOT TOM

ALL OVER YOUR LIPS.

OH COME ON WILL.

IT MEANT NOTHING.

IT WAS JUST A HOLIDAY KISS.

YEAH, WELL THAT WAS

THE BIGGEST "DIDN’T MEAN

ANYTHING" I’VE EVER SEEN.

YOU’RE JEALOUS.

NO.

YOU ARE.

LOOK AT YOU.

IT’S NOT THAT I’M JEALOUS.

I DON’T WANT TO BE THE GUY

THAT’S KISSING THE GUY

WHO’S KISSING EVERYBODY ELSE.

IT WAS JUST A KISS.

IT DIDN’T MEAN ANYTHING.

IT NEVER DOES.

I DON’T THINK

I’LL BE ANY DIFFERENT.

HOW’S MIKE?

WHO’S THAT?

THANKSGIVING.

YEAH, THAT ENDED.

WHY’S THAT?

HE THOUGHT I LIKED

SOMEBODY ELSE.

AND DO YOU?

WHERE’S THAT MISTLETOE?

NOT NOW TOM.

NOW’S THE PERFECT TIME, TOM.

SO HOW ABOUT THAT KISS?

IS THIS

THE KISSING BOOTH?

NO. EXCUSE ME GUYS.

HEY, I LIKE YOU.

UMM. WE’RE GOING

TO GIVE YOU A MINUTE.

DID YOU HEAR ME?

THANK YOU.

AND I THINK

YOU LIKE ME TOO.

I THINK THE TIMING IS EVERYTHING

AND OURS IS NOT LINING UP.

OH COME ON.

CUT ME A BREAK HERE WILL.

I’M TRYING.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

HEY. MERRY CHRISTMAS.

DON’T GIVE ME THAT CRAP.

COULD YOU WORK ANY HARDER

AT PUSHING HIM AWAY?

WILL, HAVE YOU MET

ADAM AND BURT?

OH, YEAH, HALLOWEEN, RIGHT?

YEAH, I THINK SO.

I WAS BATMAN AND BURT WAS ROBIN.

YOU GET IT?

BECAUSE HE’S ADAM

AND I’M BURT.

WILL ONLY KNOWS THE CLOONEY

VERSION, NOT THE CLASSIC.

WELL IT SEEMS LIKE YOU’RE

HAVING SOME TROUBLE

WITH A MAN THAT YOU LIKE.

WOW. GOSSIP MUCH?

I DON’T KNOW WHAT

THAT GUY’S PROBLEM IS.

YOU KNOW WE’VE BEEN

TOGETHER FOR 21 YEARS.

MHM. AND THEY’VE BEEN

MONOGAMOUS.

I THINK THAT’S

REALLY FANTASTIC.

I TOLD YOU,

STOP BEING SO STUBBORN.

SOME THINGS

ARE WORTH THE RISK.

I’LL DO IT ANOTHER TIME.

YOU ALWAYS THINK

THERE’S ANOTHER TIME.

YOUR CLOCK IS TICKING

AND THE COUNTDOWN IS ON.

FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

THIS IS TYLER.

TYLER THIS IS WILL.

HI.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

NO DATE?

NOPE.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, HONEY.

CAN YOU BELIEVE HE TRIED

TO KISS ME AND HE’S HERE

ON A DATE?

WHO DID?

JOSH.

DID YOU KISS HIM?

HE’S HERE ON A DATE.

COULD HAVE BEEN YOU, MAN.

YOU WANNA SIT?

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

YOU KNOW YOU COULD JUST

GO OVER TO HIM AND TELL HIM

THAT YOU LIKE HIM.

HE’S HERE ON A DATE.

TRUST ME.

HE BROUGHT THAT GUY HERE

TO MAKE YOU JEALOUS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WHEN I WAS TRYING

TO GET WITH CHRISTINA,

I USED TO BRING AROUND GIRL.

DRIVES PEOPLE CRAZY.

HMM.

HEY, I’M LIZ.

DO YOU KNOW THAT I DIDN’T

GET A NEW YEAR’S KISS.

HAPPY NEW YEAR BABY.

OH, I’M SORRY SWEETIE.

HE’S TAKEN.

BUT YOU KNOW THAT GUY

HANK OVER THERE?

HE’S TOTALLY SINGLE.

THANKS GIRL.

YOU KNOW HANK’S GAY.

SHE DOESN’T.

AND HANK’S SO DRUNK, HE’S

PROBABLY NOT SURE EITHER.

YOU’RE AN EVIL BITCH.

HONEY,

CAN YOU GIVE US A MINUTE?

OF COURSE.

NO FLIRTING WHILE YOU’RE AWAY.

NO FLIRTING WITH GAY GUYS.

FUNNY.

OR THAT SLUT LIZ.

I LOVE YOU.

SEE?

LIKE A CHARM.

YOU DID NOT HAVE

TO SEND HIM AWAY.

HE KNOWS YOU’RE

MY GAY BOYFRIEND.

IT’S YOUR JOB

TO GOSSIP WITH ME

AND IT’S HIS JOB

TO HAVE SEX WITH ME.

HE’S FINE.

IT’S A WIN-WIN FOR EVERYONE.

AND NOW HE CAN GO FLIRT

WITH THAT GIRL.

HE THINKS

IT MAKES ME JEALOUS.

DOESN’T IT?

I KNOW WHO

HE’S GOING HOME WITH.

HEY GUYS.

LET’S HAVE A TOAST.

TO THE NEW YEAR.

TO WHAT SHOULD BE.

YOU SHOULD BE PAYING

ATTENTION TO YOUR DATE.

I CAN’T WIN

WITH THAT GUY.

HMM, WELL MAYBE IF

YOU DIDN’T BRING A DATE

HE’D KNOW THAT YOU LIKED HIM.

I WAS TRYING

TO MAKE HIM JEALOUS.

YOU BOYS ALWAYS THINK

THAT THAT TRICK WORKS.

WHAT TRICK?

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

ARE YOU HAVING FUN?

HELLO?

YES, YES.

I’M HAVING FUN.

ME TOO.

I THINK, I THINK

WE SHOULD MAKE OUT.

LISTEN, TYLER.

YES, JOSHIE POO.

OH GOD, I THINK

I’M GOING TO THROW UP.

SO LIKE DUDE, OF COURSE

I WATCH THE HALFTIME SHOW.

IT WAS MADONNA.

SHE ALMOST FELL ON HER ASS

GETTING OFF THE BLEACHERS.

AND APPARENTLY YOU TWO

ARE HAVING A MOMENT. OKAY.

HI. WANT TO GET LAID? NO.

WILL, THIS IS THE PART

WHEN YOU GO ACROSS THE ROOM.

AFTER ALL,

IT IS THE NEW YEAR.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU GUYS ARE RIGHT.

YOUR DATE IS THROWING UP

ALL OVER THE BATHROOM.

OH NO. I’M SO SORRY.

MAYBE IT’S TIME

TO CART HIM HOME.

I’LL GO ROUND HIM UP.

HONEY, I’M SO SORRY.

I DIDN’T REALIZE.

IT’S FINE.

IT’S JUST NOT MEANT TO BE.

THAT IS SUCH A FATALISTIC

STATEMENT.

I GET TO BE

THE DRAMATIC ONE.

MAYBE I SHOULD BE THE ONE

TO HELP TYLER OUT.

YOU’RE GOING TO GO IN THERE

AND CLEAN UP PUKE?

I SAID HELP, NOT CLEAN.

JACK, SHAWN. A LITTLE

HELP PLEASE OR NOT.

I THINK I’LL TAKE HIM HOME.

HE’S HAD ENOUGH.

YES.

THAT’S PROBABLY A GOOD IDEA.

WE CAN TAKE HIM HOME.

REALLY?

THAT’S PROBABLY

NOT A GOOD IDEA.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, WILL.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

YOU WILL RING HIM TOMORROW.

I DON’T KNOW.

NIGHT.

THIS IS WHY I LOVE

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.

SITTING AT THE POOL

IN JANUARY.

AMEN TO THAT.

SO, ANYTHING NEW?

WE’RE CONSIDERING

BECOMING A TRIAD.

A WHAT?

A TRIAD.

A THREEWAY RELATIONSHIP.

OOHHH.

LISTEN TO YOU JUDGEY BEAR.

I’M NOT JUDGING.

YES YOU ARE BUT I FORGIVE YOU.

YOU GUYS SHOULD BE THANKFUL

YOU HAVE EACH OTHER.

I CAN’T GET ONE BOYFRIEND

AND YOU WANT TWO?

WHAT ABOUT JOSH?

WHY ISN’T ANYONE TRYING

TO SET ME UP WITH JOSH?

BECAUSE HE’S A CATCH.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT

YOU GUYS ARE THINKING,

BUT IF JACK WANTED HIM,

HE’D BE OUR THIRD

IN A HEARTBEAT.

AND NO WAY THAT’S GOING TO

HAPPEN RIGHT NOW, WITH ANYONE.

SO HE’S A CATCH AND THAT MEANS

YOU CAN’T SET HIM UP WITH ME.

EVERYONE KNOWS WILL AND JOSH

ARE THE SETTLE DOWN TYPE

AND YOU HANK ARE NOT.

OKAY, YOU’RE RIGHT.

I’M NOT.

HEY.

OH, YOU OKAY?...

DO YOU NEED US

TO BRING YOU ANYTHING?...

OH, OKAY.. ARE YOU SURE?...

OKAY, BYE.

WHO WAS THAT?

THAT WAS RICH.

HE’S NOT FEELING WELL.

HE’S NOT COMING OUT TODAY.

WILL, WAS HE SICK

THIS MORNING.

NOT THAT I KNOW OF.

HE’S PROBABLY JUST HUNG OVER

FROM THE PARTY LAST NIGHT.

YOU DIDN’T SEE HIM

THIS MORNING?

NO. I WENT TO THE GYM

EARLY THIS MORNING.

BACK TO JOSH. DO YOU THINK

HE’S A TOP OR A BOTTOM?

OH HE’S A BOTTOM.

TOP.

BOTTOM.

I DON’T CARE.

YES YOU DO.

I CARE.

I JUST KNOW HE’S A TOP.

WRONG, BITTERMEISTER.

YOU HOPE HE’S A TOP.

AND HOPE ALL YOU WANT, JOSH

ISN’T INTO YOU, HANK.

WILL? TOP OR BOTTOM?

TOP OR BOTTOM?

TOP? BOTTOM?

TOP?

SHAWN, I’M NOT GOING TO PLAY

THIS STUPID GAME WITH YOU.

SUCH A BABY.

GOD.

AND HE’S NEVER COMING BACK.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT THAT

WAS MORE MATURE THAN NORMAL.

I WISH MY BOYFRIENDS

DIDN’T WANT TO TALK.

AND BY BOYFRIENDS

YOU MEAN TRICKS.

PO-TA-TO PUH-TA-TO.

YOU MISSED A REALLY GOOD TIME

AT THE POOL TODAY.

OH MY GOD.

OH MY GOD.

RICH. RICH. RICH! RICH!

OH MY GOD. RICH!

RICHIE, RICHIE!

9-1-1.

YEAH, MY FRIEND,

HE TOOK SOME PILLS.

WHAT KIND?

I DON’T KNOW.

CALM DOWN.

I DON’T KNOW IT’S UM.

LOCATION PLEASE.

YEAH, WE’RE AT

20 CEDAR STREET.

L.A.?

YEAH.

HELP IS ON THE WAY THERE.

I KNOW THE BOTH OF YOU

MUST BE IN SHOCK.

SUICIDE IS NEVER AN EASY THING

TO DEAL WITH.

CAN WE PLEASE STOP SAYING

IT WAS SUICIDE?

IT WAS AN

ACCIDENTAL OVERDOSE.

WILL.

THERE WAS NO NOTE.

RICH DIDN’T DO DRUGS AND HE

DIDN’T DRINK THAT MUCH.

I KNOW THIS IS OVERWHELMING,

BUT HE DID NAME THE BOTH OF YOU

AS EXECUTORS TO HIS ESTATE.

THE BOTH OF US?

ISN’T THAT FOR ONE PERSON?

WELL, EACH SITUATION

IS DIFFERENT.

WHEN RICH DRAFTED THIS WILL,

HE WAS VERY, VERY CLEAR.

WHAT DO WE NEED TO DO?

LIKE FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS?

RICH’S REQUEST WAS TO BE

CREMATED AND HAVE HIS ASHES

SPREAD AT THE BEACH.

THE MAJORITY OF HIS MONEY IS

GOING TO VARIOUS CHARITIES.

WILL, HE’S LEFT YOU

THE CONDO ON CEDAR STREET.

NOW MOST OF HIS BIG

TICKET ITEMS ARE COVERED,

BUT THE TWO OF YOU

WILL HAVE TO DECIDE

WHAT TO DO WITH HIS

REMAINING PERSONAL EFFECTS.

YOU MEAN HIS STUFF.

YES. AND HE’S ALSO ASKED

THAT YOU GIVE THE EULOGY.

DID YOU HAVE ANY IDEA

HE WAS PLANNING THIS?

NO.

UM, I DON’T SEE ANYTHING

ABOUT LILLY IN HERE.

WOW.

HE LEFT QUITE AN AMOUNT

TO THAT YOUTH CHARITY

I VOLUNTEER WITH.

YOU DIDN’T SEE ANY SIGNS?

NO.

YOU’VE BEEN AROUND

FOR YEARS, DIDN’T YOU?

LOOK, I’LL TAKE CARE

OF THE REMAINS

AND YOU CAN ORGANIZE

THE WAKE AT THE HOUSE, YEAH?

YEAH. THAT’S FINE.

I DO HAVE A NUMBER OF PAPERS

FOR YOU BOTH TO SIGN.

BUT IF THERE’S ANYTHING

THAT I CAN DO...

ANYTHING...

PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

[MELANCHOLY POP MUSIC]

♪♪

IF YOU KNEW RICH

LIKE I KNEW RICH,

YOU’D KNOW HE LOVES PARTIES.

HE ALWAYS SAID TO ME,

THAT WHEN IT’S MY TIME

TO GET CALLED HOME

I WANT TO HAVE

THE BIGGEST PARTY.

GUESS WE MESSED THAT ONE UP,

HUH BUDDY?

WE’RE ALL IN BLACK.

HE’S PROBABLY LOOKING AT US

NOW FROM SOME FABULOUSLY

DECORATED ROOM.

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

YOU PROBABLY HATE YOUR URN.

YOU WOULD HATE ME

ACTING LIKE THIS.

SORRY ABOUT THAT TOO.

I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M GOING

TO DO WITHOUT MY OLDEST FRIEND.

RICH ALWAYS SAID THAT THE CURE

FOR ANYTHING WAS SALTWATER.

TEARS, SWEAT, OR THE SEA.

RICH THOUGHT THE GREATEST GIFTS

IN LIFE WERE FRIENDSHIP,

LOVE, AND FORGIVENESS.

IF YOU HAD THOSE

THEN YOU HAD A RICH LIFE.

I KNOW HE GAVE THOSE TO ME

AND TO EACH AND EVERY ONE

OF YOU HERE.

HE’LL BE SADLY MISSED.

MAY HE REST IN PEACE.

HOW DO YOU EVEN BEGIN

TO BOX UP SOMEBODY’S LIFE.

WELL, YOU CAN START

BY MAKING THREE PILES.

ONE TO GIVE AWAY,

ONE TO DONATE, AND TRASH.

AND YOU KNOW WE STILL NEED

TO FIND LILLY A HOME.

ONCOLOGY-TRASH.

DONATE.

TO WHO, WILL?

ARE YOU ASKING OR ARGUING?

I’M NOT ARGUING,

I’M EXPEDITING.

I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS

IS SO EASY FOR YOU.

I’M NOT TELLING YOU HOW

TO PROCESS YOUR FEELINGS.

RICH DIDN’T LIKE PEOPLE

TO BE SAD.

THAT’S ALL.

I JUST DON’T GET YOU.

AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND

WHY YOU’RE SO HELL-BENT ON

GIVING LILLY AWAY SO FAST.

BUT I DON’T SAY ANYTHING

OUT LOUD.

BECAUSE EVERY TIME I SEE LILLY,

I SEE RICH. OKAY?

SORRY.

WHO ARE YOU CALLING NOW,

THE SHELTER?

HEY CHRISTINE, IT’S WILL.

WHEN YOU GET THIS

GIVE ME A CALL IN CASE

YOU WANT ANYTHING BEFORE JOSH

THROWS IT ALL AWAY.

SHE’S OUT DELIVERING

THE DONATIONS TODAY.

SHE JUST WANTS SOME PHOTOS.

A BOX OF OLD CASSETTE TAPES.

WHO STILL HAS THOSE?

GENESIS, ACKA/DACKA.

WHAT’S ACKA/DACKA?

IT’S AN AUSSIE THING. AC/DC.

THE GO-GO’S.

OH. I LOVE THE GO-GO’S.

♪ VACATION, ALL I EVER WANTED ♪

♪ VACATION, HAVE TO GET AWAY ♪

YOU KNOW THE GO-GO LYRICS?

BECAUSE I DON’T GO GOO-GOO

FOR LADY BLAH-BLAH,

I KNOW SINGLE ONES.

WELL, YOU HAVE TO SAVE THOSE.

DO YOU EVEN OWN

A CASSETTE TAPE PLAYER?

NO.

THEN TRASH.

SAVE.

WILL, CAN YOU GIVE ME

A HAND PLEASE.

WOW! LOOK AT THIS PICTURE

OF THE TWO OF YOU.

LET’S SEE.

LOOKS LIKE HAWAII, 2000.

LOOK HOW YOUNG RICH LOOKS.

I LOOK ALRIGHT.

JUST FOR THE RECORD,

THIS IS NOT EASY FOR ME EITHER.

I KNOW.

WE MAY NOT PROCESS THINGS

THE SAME WAY WILL.

YOU AND I ARE NOT SO DIFFERENT.

HE ALWAYS PLANNED

THE BEST TRIPS, DIDN’T HE?

I MISS YOU. WANKER.

I’M SO ANGRY AT HIM.

YOU WANT TO HEAR CRAZY?

AFTER THE WAKE I WAS SO UPSET

I ACTUALLY PICKED

THE PHONE UP TO CALL HIM.

I KEEP THINKING HE’S GOING

TO COME OUT

OF ONE OF HIS BEDROOMS

AND THROW FIT

BECAUSE WE’RE PACKING UP

ALL HIS STUFF.

IT’S NOT STUFF.

COLLECTABLES.

BECAUSE WE’RE BOXING UP

HIS COLLECTABLES.

THANKS.

YEAH, ME TOO.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.

YEAH, WELL, YOU WEREN’T THERE.

IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.

LISTEN TO ME.

WHAT RICH DID--

WAS AN ACCIDENT.

NO, NO, NO NO!

WHAT RICH DID WAS WHAT RICH DID.

THAT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. OKAY.

IT COMES IN WAVES, YOU KNOW?

YEAH, I DO.

OH WOW, LOOK.

THERE’S SO MUCH YARN.

DONATE.

IT’S TRASH, WILL. IT’S YARN.

RICH WOULD WANT SOMEONE

TO HAVE THAT.

WILL, IT’S TRASH.

YOU CAN’T JUST THROW EVERYTHING

AWAY BECAUSE IT’S EASIER.

LISTEN TO ME.

I GET IT, BUT THIS ISN’T RICH.

THIS IS JUST STUFF.

IT’S TRASH.

GIVE ME THE YARN.

GIVE ME THE YARN.

OKAY, HAVE IT. DONATE! WHATEVER.

PLEASE JOSH. TAKE ME HOME.

DON’T PUT ME IN THE TRASH.

WILL, DON’T LET HIM THROW ME

IN THE TRASH.

IT’S TRASH WILL.

DID YOU KNOW HE HAD

THIS MUCH STUFF?

NO. LISTEN, DO YOU JUST WANT

TO CALL IT A DAY

AND WE’LL PICK BACK UP TOMORROW?

YEAH, THAT’S GOOD.

DO YOU WANNA GO FOR A DRINK?

I THINK I’M JUST GOING

TO THE BEACH

AND GO FOR A RUN

TO CLEAR MY HEAD.

ARE YOU SURE?

PLEASE WILL.

GO FOR A DRINK WITH JOSH.

I CAN’T.

ALRIGHT, THAT’S COOL.

ALRIGHT,

I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW MAN.

DID YOU KNOW HE COLLECTED

ALL THESE CHACHKIES?

DIDN’T YOU KNOW HE HAD THESE

SALT AND PEPPER SHAKERS?

YOU KNOW WHO HATES THESE?

FRANK.

WELL THEN I THINK YOU SHOULD

GIVE HIM A PAIR.

OH. DONE.

HOW WOULD YOU DO IT?

DO WHAT?

COMMIT SUICIDE.

I WOULDN’T.

IF YOU HAD TO.

WELL, I DON’T HAVE TO.

IF YOU HAD TO!

JESUS JOSH!

CAN YOU GIVE IT A REST?

REALLY JOSH?

YOU PUSHED THAT TOO HARD.

YOU SHOULD GO CHASE HIM.

UH, NO. YOU SHOULD.

TRUST ME. HE DOESN’T WANT ME

CHASING HIM DOWN RIGHT NOW.

GIVE HIM SOME SPACE.

HE’LL BE FINE.

I JUST NEED A BREAK.

I NEED A BREAK FROM THIS.

IT’S OK. IT’S OK. IT’S OK.

TAKE A BREAK.

I CAN FINISH UP HERE.

OKAY.

HEY.

HEY.

WHERE’S CHRISTINE?

SHE NEEDED A BREAK.

LOOK, I’M SORRY.

IT’S FINE.

IT’S NOT REALLY. I’M SORRY.

I’VE NEVER DEALT WITH ANYTHING

LIKE THIS EITHER AND I’M KIND OF

THROWN FOR A LOOP?

I KNOW.

IT’S ALMOST LIKE RICH WAS

THE GLUE THAT HELD US

ALL TOGETHER.

YEAH, HE HAD A REAL TALENT

FOR THAT.

I WISH I HAD TOLD HIM THAT.

HE KNEW.

TRUCE.

TRUCE.

AND RICH WOULD BE

SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW,

YOU AND I GETTING ALONG

LIKE THIS.

OKAY, SO WHAT’S LEFT TO PACK?

OH GOD. I THINK IT’S ALL DONE.

YEAH?

EXCEPT FOR THIS.

NO.

I GAVE RICH THIS BOTTLE

TWO YEARS AGO.

ONE SHOT.

IN HONOR OF RICH.

ONE SHOT.

TO RICH.

TO RICH.

WHEREVER YOU ARE.

WHAT HAPPENED TO ONE SHOT?

WELL YOU GOT TO MAKE A TOAST

AND I DIDN’T.

ALRIGHT.

TO RICH.

AND HOW HE PAMPERED HIS DOG.

CHEERS.

ALRIGHT, ONE MORE.

YOU’RE A BIG BOY HUH?

YOU KNOW I COULD DRINK YOU UNDER

THE TABLE IF I WANTED TO.

AND I BELIEVE YOU BELIEVE THAT.

YEAH, WELL?

I COULD.

TO RICH AND HIS CRAZY FRIENDS.

IT’S A BIT SMOOTHER ISN’T IT?

IT’S GOOD.

I CAN DRINK THAT DOWN.

IT’S THE LAST ONE.

DRINK IT UP.

LET’S NOT DO THIS

THE TEQUILA’S WORKING OVERTIME.

LET’S GET YOU TO BED.

I’M NOT TIRED.

OF COURSE YOU’RE NOT.

I DON’T WANT TO GO TO BED.

NOPE.

OF COURSE YOU DON’T BUT--

NOPE.

NOPE. NOPE.

NOT READY FOR BED.

ALRIGHT, BED.

THERE YOU GO.

I CAN’T SLEEP WITH MY SOCKS ON.

SOCKS.

SOCKS.

THANK YOU.

SOCK.

ALRIGHT, I WILL SEE YOU

TOMORROW MISTER DRUNKIE.

DON’T GO.

I HAVE TO.

I DON’T WANT TO SLEEP ALONE.

YOU’LL BE FINE.

GO TO SLEEP.

GOD! WHY WON’T YOU LIKE ME?

WILL I DO, I DO.

BUT I DON’T WANT THIS TO BE HOW

IT HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK.

YOU HAVE A SAFE SLEEP.

I THINK I’M HUNG-OVER.

I WONDER WHY.

IT’S YOUR FAULT.

WELL, I SEEM TO RECALL

SOMEONE SAYING

THEY COULD DRINK ME

UNDER THE TABLE.

YEAH, WELL THOSE ARE WORDS

I’M LIVING TO REGRET.

WELL, HELLO.

IS THIS YOURS?

UGH. DON’T TOUCH ME WITH THAT.

YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE

THAT’S BEEN.

I’M PRETTY SURE

I KNOW WHERE THAT’S BEEN.

WHAT DO YOU EVEN DO WITH

SOMETHING THAT SIZE?

REALLY?

DO YOU WANT ME TO SHOW YOU?

THAT IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN?

NEVER SAY NEVER.

OH WOW, WILL.

YOU REALLY NEED

TO TRY THIS ON.

NO. WHY DON’T YOU TRY IT ON.

I WOULD,

BUT IT’S NEVER GOING TO FIT ME?

WELL ISN’T THAT CONVENIENT?

I’LL TELL YOU WHAT.

IF YOU TRY THIS ON,

I’LL TAKE LILLY TILL

WE CAN FIND HER A PROPER HOME.

YOU’LL TAKE LILLY

IF I TRY THIS STUPID THING ON?

YEP.

NO PICS THOUGH.

DONE.

DONE.

JOSH, I DON’T KNOW

HOW THIS WORKS.

THIS ISN’T VERY ?

ARGH! THIS IS SO STUPID!

I FEEL UTTERLY STUPID.

YOU LOOK.

IDIOTIC.

I KNOW WHAT I MEAN WILL.

YOU LOOK HOT.

SHUT UP.

SERIOUSLY THOUGH.

YOU LOOK FUCKING AMAZING.

OKAY, CAN I TAKE THIS OFF NOW?

WAIT, THERE’S SOMETHING

WRONG WITH IT.

HOW LONG ARE WE GOING

TO KEEP FIGHTING THIS?

FIGHTING WHAT?

DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE

TO HAVE THE LAST WORD?

NOT ALWAYS.

OH SHIT.

LISTEN, WHOEVER IT IS,

THEY CAN COME BACK.

I HAVE TO GET THAT.

LISTEN, THEY CAN COME BACK.

EVERYBODY. EVERYBODY HAS KEYS

TO THIS HOUSE.

LISTEN TO ME.

THEY CAN COME BACK.

I’LL BE RIGHT BACK.

YOU’RE BUSY. COME ON.

HELLO.

OH, UM.

OH. DID I CATCH YOU BOYS

AT A BAD TIME?

IT’S NOT EVEN MINE.

OH, WELL IT LOOKS LIKE

YOU’RE HAVING FUN.

I’LL COME BACK LATER.

NO, NO. IT’S FINE, JUST STAY.

UHH, NO!

AND JUST FOR THE RECORD

YOU PUT YOUR JUNK

AND YOUR BALLS

THROUGH THE BOTTOM RING.

WHAT?

THE BOTTOM RING. THIS.

YOU PUT YOUR JUNK THROUGH HERE

AND THAT’S HOW IT STAYS PUT.

IT’S A COCK-RING.

REALLY? BECAUSE THAT SEEMS

A LITTLE SMALL.

IT WILL WORK, OKAY?

HOW?

UHH?

WELL. ..YOU PUT YOUR BEANS

THROUGH THE RING,

ONE BEAN AT A TIME.

AND THEN YOU SLIDE

YOUR FRANK THROUGH IT.

HOW DO YOU KNOW

ABOUT THE BEANS AND FRANK?

I’M REALLY A GAY MAN.

BYE.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO.

I’M ALREADY GONE.

AND RICH WAS RIGHT.

STOP FIGHTING IT WILLUP.

YOU PUT IT THROUGH THIS.

SO, WHERE WERE WE?

YOUR TURN.

BACK TO YOU.

MORNING BEAUTIFUL.

MORNING.

WELL WHO KNEW YOU HAD

THOSE SKILLS?

DO YOU REALLY THINK RICH

KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN?

KNOWING RICH, YEAH.

WHY DID WE WAIT SO LONG

TO DO THIS?

OH, DO WE REALLY NEED TO GET

THROUGH A LIST OF THEM.

PROBABLY NOT.

YOU LOOK REALLY HANDSOME,

MISTER.

YOU DO TOO.

IS IT SICK THAT WE DID IT

IN RICH’S BED?

PROBABLY.

YEAH, PROBABLY.

I HAVE TO GET UP.

I TOLD THE BOYS I’D HAVE

BREAKFAST WITH THEM.

YEAH.

I’M NOT RUNNING.

I JUST HAVE BREAKFAST PLANS

WITH THE BOYS.

YOU COULD COME.

I WOULD LOVE TO BUT TODAY’S

THE DAY I PROMISED

I’D RUN SOME STUFF UP NORTH

TO RICHARD’S DAD’S.

MAYBE I COULD JUST GO WITH YOU.

MMM. NO. YOU GO ENJOY YOURSELF

WITH THE BOYS. YOU DESERVE IT.

YOU PUT IN A LOT

OF HARD WORK LAST NIGHT.

YEAH, WELL THERE’S MORE

WHERE THAT CAME FROM.

I’M OFFICIALLY RUNNING LATE NOW.

SEE YOU TOMORROW THOUGH, YEAH?

ABSOLUTELY.

HOW’S PACKING GOING?

IT’S FINE, IT’S JUST WEIRD

TO PACK UP SOMEBODY’S LIFE

INTO BOXES

LIKE THEY NEVER EXISTED.

WELL, IT’S NOT LIKE THEY NEVER

EXISTED; THOSE ARE JUST THINGS.

YEAH, WELL IT FEELS

WRONG TO ME.

IS JOSH HELPING YOU EVERY DAY?

YEAH. I MEAN HE’S, YOU KNOW,

BRINGING SOME STUFF UP

TO RICH’S DAD’S.

WHY DO YOU HAVE

THAT LOOK ON YOUR FACE?

WHAT LOOK?

I KNOW THAT LOOK.

YOU NEED TO HAVE

SOME MORE COFFEE.

YOU’VE BEEN HAVING SEX!

NO, I HAVEN’T.

YOU DO SMELL LIKE SEX WILL.

OH JUICY! OUT WITH IT.

NO, YOU DID NOT SLEEP WITH JOSH.

YES.

AND?

AND?

IT WAS AMAZING.

RICH IS SMILING

IN HIS GRAVE RIGHT NOW.

YEAH, WELL THAT’S

SO WRONG ABOUT IT.

NO, THIS IS WHAT RICH WANTED.

OH, DID RICH WANT US

TO HAVE SEX IN HIS BED?

EW! NO RESPECT I TELL YOU.

YEAH WELL IT JUST HAPPENED.

CAN WE PLEASE JUST TALK

ABOUT SOMETHING.

UH, NO.

LET’S HEAR SOME DETAILS.

NO, NO, NO DETAILS.

ARE YOU TWO A COUPLE NOW?

I DON’T KNOW.

I DON’T WANT IT TO BE WEIRD

WHEN I SEE HIM TOMORROW.

IT’S NOT GOING TO BE WEIRD.

THIS ISN’T THE FIRST TIME

YOU’VE HAD SEX.

WELL, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME

I’VE HAD SEX WITH JOSH.

I REMEMBER MY FIRST TIME.

DO YOU?

UH, NO?

BUT I WILL REMEMBER OUR FIRST

TIME WITH A THIRD.

YOU GAVE INTO THAT? REALLY?

WILL, IT’S JUST SEX.

REMEMBER THAT NEXT TIME

YOU SEE JOSH.

JUST CUZ YOU TWO HOOKED UP

DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE

TO GET MARRIED.

THIS IS JUST A LITTLE BIT

MORE THAN HOOKING UP.

GOOD FOR YOU WILL.

OH, HEY COLLIN.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I KNEW YOU’D BE OVER HERE.

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

YOUR CAR’S OUTSIDE.

I’M SORRY ABOUT YOUR FRIEND.

THANKS MAN.

WELL, CAN I COME IN?

I’M JUST ON MY WAY OUT.

BUT I CAME TO CONSOLE YOU.

I DON’T NEED IT COLLIN.

WHY NOT? BESIDES, IT’S NEVER

STOPPED YOU BEFORE.

IT’S NOT THAT.

IS IT A BAD TIME?

ARE OTHER PEOPLE HERE?

I’M INTO A LITTLE GROUP ACTION.

IT WOULDN’T BE MY FIRST TIME.

THERE’S NO ONE ELSE HERE BABE.

PERFECT.

COLLIN, YOU’RE A SWEET SEXY GUY,

BUT YOU AND I

ARE ON DIFFERENT PAGES.

SO THEN IT’S YOU NOT ME THEN.

YEP.

ARE YOU SURE THAT I CAN’T COME

IN FOR A MINUTE?

BYE COLLIN.

COLLIN, ENOUGH.

HANK, WHAT’S UP?

I’M PICKING UP A BOX

WILL LEFT FOR ME.

DID YOU JUST HAVE SEX WITH

COLLIN IN DEAD RICH’S HOUSE?

SCANDAL.

NO.

WELL HE DIDN’T LEAVE

WITH ANY BOXES.

I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS HANK.

PLEASE. I’M RUNNING LATE.

WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE SEX

IN HERE THEN?

I DIDN’T HAVE SEX WITH COLLIN,

HANK.

NO! WITH UPTIGHT WILL?

HE’S NOT UPTIGHT.

LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT THIS.

OH, WE ARE GOING

TO TALK ABOUT IT!

LISTEN. I AM GOING TO PUT

MY SHOES ON.

YOU’RE GOING TO GET YOUR BOX

AND LEAVE.

WILD NIGHT, I SEE.

IT WASN’T LIKE THAT.

I’M JEALOUS.

HANK, THIS ISN’T GOING

TO HAPPEN. OKAY.

WHY NOT? IT’S JUST SEX.

ISN’T WILL ONE

OF YOUR GOOD FRIENDS?

YEAH. HE’S TOO GOOD FOR YOU.

AND YOU!

I’M BAD FOR YOU.

YOU SHOULD STOP!

NO MEANS YES.

HEY HANK, WHAT’S UP?

SO, ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE HIM

ANOTHER CHANCE?

I DON’T KNOW.

SHAWN, CAN YOU TAKE THIS

TO THE CAR, PLEASE?

SURE.

HEY GUYS, SORRY I’M LATE.

THIS STUFF, HERE?

YEAH, THAT’S GREAT. THANKS.

LISTEN WILL. YOU KNOW

I’M NO RELATIONSHIP EXPERT,

BUT I REALLY DO THINK YOU TWO

HAVE SOMETHING.

WOULD YOU TOLERATE THAT?

OKAY, FIRST, WE’RE TALKING ABOUT

HANK WHO GETS HIS CLAWS

INTO EVERYTHING.

BUT WOULD YOU TOLERATE

THAT THE DAY AFTER SEX?

IF YOU KNEW EVERYTHING

I’VE PUT UP WITH

OVER THE LAST THREE YEARS

WITH SEAN,

BUT I LOVE HIM.

AND IN THE END,

THE GOOD DOES OUT WEIGH THE BAD.

YEAH, BUT YOU GUYS HAVE HISTORY.

AND THIS IS BRAND NEW.

YOU DON’T THINK HE’S A LITTLE

BIT SCREWED UP IN THE HEAD

FROM RICH DYING?

WE’RE ALL HERE JUST TRYING

TO FUNCTION.

COME ON.

GIVE HIM A LITTLE SLACK.

LOOK. NOT EVERY MISTAKE

THAT EVERYBODY MAKES

IS BECAUSE RICH KILLED HIMSELF.

THERE’S ALSO TWO SIDES

TO EVERY STORY.

YOU TWO ARE GOING

TO WORK THIS OUT.

YOU CALL ME LATER?

YEAH.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE?

UM, JUST THE ONE BOX

IF YOU COULD TAKE IT?

SURE.

THANKS SO MUCH

FOR HELPING OUT TODAY.

I APPRECIATE IT.

NO PROBLEM.

LISTEN, I KNOW THIS ISN’T

THE BEST TIMING,

BUT I WAS WONDERING IF YOU’D

LIKE TO HAVE DINNER WITH ME?

OH TOM, I’M REALLY FLATTERED,

I’M JUST NOT

INTO DATING RIGHT NOW.

YOU’RE NOT INTO DATING

OR YOU’RE NOT INTO ME?

I’M NOT INTO DATING.

LISTEN, I’M A BIG BOY.

YOU CAN TELL ME

IF YOU LIKE SOMEBODY ELSE.

WELL, I DON’T.

REALLY? BECAUSE EVERYONE’S

TALKING ABOUT YOU AND JOSH.

OH, EVERYONE WHO?

EVERYONE.

EVERYONE WE KNOW IS TALKING

ABOUT YOU AND JOSH.

WELL THERE’S NOTHING GOING ON

BETWEEN JOSH AND I.

WHATEVER YOU HEARD,

IT’S JUST NOT TRUE!

ALL WE’RE DOING IS BOXING UP

THIS HOUSE TOGETHER.

THAT’S IT.

YOU’RE SURE?

LOOK. WHATEVER YOU HEARD,

IT’S A RUMOR.

OKAY. SO NO CHANCE?

TOM, I HAVE A LOT ON MY PLATE

RIGHT NOW. OKAY?

OKAY.

NICE HAT.

THANKS.

THAT’S NEVER LOOKED GOOD ON ME.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL DAY?

I UMM,

HEARD WHAT YOU SAID TODAY.

HEARD ME SAY WHAT?

TO TOM.

TELLING HIM YOU THOUGHT THERE

WAS NOTHING HERE BETWEEN US.

YEAH, WELL MAYBE

WHAT WE SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT

IS HOW YOU LET HANK BLOW YOU.

LISTEN, HE TRIED

BUT NOTHING HAPPENED.

NOTHING HAPPENED!

THAN WHY WOULD HANK

LIE ABOUT THAT?

BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE

JUST AREN’T HAPPY

UNLESS EVERYONE ELSE

AROUND THEM IS MISERABLE.

I WANT TO BELIEVE YOU.

I DO.

THAN BELIEVE ME,

BECAUSE IT’S TRUE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

YOU SHOULD LEAVE.

YOU CAN’T TELL ME

YOU DON’T WANT TO DO THIS!

ACTUALLY I CAN.

YOU NEED TO LEAVE.

I’M NOT LEAVING!

FINE, THEN I WILL.

AND WHEN I COME BACK

YOU BEST BE GONE.

I FEEL SICK.

I HAVE TO CLEAR MY HEAD.

WHY WOULD I LIE

ABOUT THIS WILL?

I DON’T KNOW.

NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORE.

IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE

TO ME EITHER.

BUT WE CAN

WORK THIS OUT TOGETHER.

THAT’S THE THING WITH US,

THE TIMING IS NEVER RIGHT.

IT HASN’T BEEN RIGHT BEFORE,

IT’S NOT RIGHT NOW.

THAT’S BULLSHIT WILL.

TIMING.

TIMING IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT.

YOU HAVE A CHOICE

TO BE HAPPY WILL.

I WANT TO BE HAPPY, I DO.

THAN CHOOSE IT,

BUT YOU’VE GOT TO MEET ME

HALF WAY.

WE HAVE SOMETHING SO SPECIAL,

BUT YOU’VE GOT TO WANT IT.

PLEASE.

LIFE IS A SERIES OF CHOICES.

AND I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY.