Saltwater (2012) - full transcript

[MAN] IS HAPPINESS
A PREDETERMINED DESTINY?

A STRING OF COINCIDENCES?

OR IS IT A SERIES OF CHOICES
THAT WE MAKE?

HOW CAN I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[LAUGHING]

WELL, AREN’T YOU A SIGHT
FOR SORE EYES?

HEY, RICH.

LOOK AT YOU.
LAST TIME I SAW YOU,

YOU WERE A SKINNY TWINK.
NOW YOU’RE A MUSCLE QUEEN.

I’M NOT A QUEEN.



OH, HONEY, GET OVER IT.
WE’RE ALL QUEENS.

IT’S SPACIOUS.

MM-HMM.
NOT A BAD UPGRADE

SINCE THE LAST TIME
YOU CRASHED AT MY PLACE, HUH?

NO. NOT AT ALL.

OKAY.
I’M JUST GOING TO SAY IT.

I CAN’T BELIEVE
YOU DIDN’T REENLIST.

I CAN.

IT’S JUST TIME FOR A CHANGE.

WELL, THIS IS A GREAT TOWN
TO DO IT IN,

AND WITH ME
AS YOUR TOUR GUIDE,
YOU ARE SET.

THANKS FOR LETTING ME STAY HERE
WHILE I GET ON MY FEET.

DON’T MENTION IT.
YOU’RE LIKE FAMILY.

WE HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER.



SO WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOU?

ARE YOU DATING?
YOU SEEING ANYBODY?

DATING.
THAT WOULD BE A NEGATIVE.

HONEY,
MOST MEN CAN’T HANDLE ME.

YOU’LL FIND SOMEBODY.

YOU JUST WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF.

YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE
TO BEAT THEM OF WITH A STICK.

I DON’T KNOW
ABOUT ALL THAT.

LOOK AT YOU.
NAVY MAN DE-LISH.

EX-NAVY.

NAVY, EX-NAVY, WHATEVER.

YOU’RE STILL FRESH MEAT.

BESIDES, EVERY GAY GUY
I KNOW LOVES SEAMEN.

AND I ALREADY HAVE SOMEBODY
IN MIND FOR YOU.

LET’S JUST PUT THAT
ON THE BACK BURNER
FOR RIGHT NOW.

NO, THIS IS A QUALITY GUY.

HE’S AUSTRALIAN,
HE’S TALL, MUSCULAR.

ALL RIGHT, MAYBE
I’M A LITTLE INTERESTED.

WHAT’S HIS NAME?
JOSH.

AND WHY DO YOU THINK
WE’RE SUCH A MATCH?

WELL, FIRST, BECAUSE
YOU’RE TASTE HASN’T CHANGED,

AND SECOND, LIKE YOU,

HE’S THE PROVERBIAL
NEEDLE IN THE GAY STACK

ALL RIGHT.
WELL, WE’LL SEE.

I’M SO RIGHT ABOUT THIS.
WHEN THE TIMING IS RIGHT
FOR BOTH OF YOU...

I CAN’T WAIT TO BE
A BRIDESMAID.

OH. WHO’S THIS LITTLE GUY?
YOUR WHAT NAME.

HER NAME IS LILLY, OOH.

AND SHE IS THE ONE
TRUE LOVE OF MY LIFE.

OH. WHO’S A DADDY’S GIRL?
GIVE ME A KISS.

RICH. RICH.

MAYBE THIS IS WHY
YOU’RE SINGLE.

SINGLE BY CHOICE, BOO.
DON’T GET IT CONFUSED.

NOW LET’S GET YOU
SETTLED IN.

AND HERE’S YOUR ROOM.

WOW, THIS IS DECORATED.

IT’S UM...

MISS SAIGON. I DID IT
SO YOU’D FEEL AT HOME.

I WAS IN IRAQ.

UH HUH. WHERE DID
MISS SAIGON TAKE PLACE?

VIETNAM.

MM-HMM.
WELL, ISN’T THAT NEAR IRAQ?

YEAH, EXCEPT FOR, LIKE,
13 COUNTRIES IN BETWEEN.

RICH, WHAT IS ALL THIS?

OH, THAT’S A
"WELCOME TO YOUR HOME" GIFT.

FRESH MEAT
NEEDS TO BE PREPARED.

SEX IS ABOUT
THE LAST THING ON MY MIND.

MAYBE IT’S THE LAST
THING ON YOURS,

BUT WHEN THE BOYS
SEE YOU, HONEY,

IT’S GOING TO BE
ON THEIRS.

AND I LIKE TO BE PREPARED.

OH, I GOT YOU
MULTIPLE SIZES,

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
I REALLY WASN’T SURE.

YEAH, WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD
HAVE BEEN A BOY SCOUT.

OH, NO.
I HATE THOSE OUTFITS.

THOSE SCARVES? UGH.

THE SHORTS AREN’T BAD,
THOUGH.

LISTEN, YOU GET SETTLED IN,

AND I’M GOING TO GO TALK
TO YOUR FUTURE BOYFRIEND, JOSH.

MI CASA ES SU CASA.

THAT’S SPANISH.

UH-HUH.

YEAH,
SO DINNER LATER, RIGHT?

YEAH, SOUNDS GREAT.
I’LL TEXT YOU WHERE I’LL BE.
HOW’S THAT?

PERFECT. IT WILL GIVE ME
A CHANCE TO TAKE A NAP
AND SHOWER UP.

I’M REALLY GLAD
YOU CAME HOME.

ME TOO.
THANK YOU AGAIN.

OKAY, HIS NAME IS WILL,
HE’S A VERY OLD FRIEND OF MINE,

AND YOU TWO ARE PERFECT
FOR EACH OTHER.

AND WHY’S THAT?

LISTEN. WHO’S THE BEST
MATCHMAKER YOU KNOW?

HE’S STAYING WITH ME
WHILE HE GETS ON HIS FEET.

IN THAT ROOM?
DOES HE LIKE
THE SPANISH THEME?

FOR YOUR INFORMATION
I REDECORATED.

IT’S VERY ASIAN NOW.

I FEEL SORRY
FOR THAT GUY ALREADY.

HE JUST GOT OUT
OF THE NAVY.

I WAS NAVY BACK HOME
IN AUSTRALIA.

I KNOW. THAT’S WHY
I KEEP SAYING YOU’RE
PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER.

WHAT ELSE?

LISTEN, YOU’LL LOVE HIM,
BECAUSE I KNOW YOUR TYPE.

DO YOU?

YES. YOU LIKE SKANKS.

SKANKS?

MM-HMM. SKANK.
S. K. A. N. K. SKANK.

STRAIGHT ACTING, KIND, ATHLETIC,
NICE, KISSABLE. SKANK.

YOU’RE CALLING
YOUR FRIEND A SKANK.

"STRAIGHT ACTING."
THAT’S A BIT OFFENSIVE
EVEN FOR YOU, RICH.

TO WHOM?
IT DOESN’T OFFEND ME.

AND IT ISN’T OFFENSIVE.
IT’S ACCURATE.

SKANK.

DOES HE LIKE TALL GUYS?

TRUST ME ON THIS ONE.

NOW TONIGHT,
WE’RE ALL GOING TO DINNER
AND YOU’RE MEETING HIM.

DOES HE KNOW
WHAT A WANKER YOU ARE?

WE ALL HAVE OUR CALLING,
HONEY.

OKAY. I’M IN.
IF NOTHING ELSE,
I GET TO MEET A SKANK.

PERFECT. NOW I HAVE
SOME THINGS TO TAKE CARE OF,
SO I’M THINKING RAIN AT 7:00?

GREAT.

I LOVE YOU,
BUT I’VE GOT TO RUN.

BYE, MISTER.

WELCOME TO RAIN.

HI, I’M HERE
TO MEET MY FRIEND, RICH.

YOU MUST BE WILL.

YEAH.
HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

AH, FRESH MEAT.

RIGHT ON.

RICH TOLD US TO EXPECT YOU.
COME ON BACK.

OH, THAT’S NOT MY FRIEND.

ARE YOU WILL?

YEAH.

HI, I’M JOSH.

RICH TOLD ME
YOU WERE COMING.

OH. HEY.
IS HE HERE YET?

NO. SIT DOWN.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

THANKS.

NICE SHIRT.

YEAH,
THAT’S EMBARRASSING HUH?

JUST MEANS
YOU’VE GOT GOOD TASTE.

THAT’S RICH. "SORRY, GUYS.
CAN’T MAKE IT. TRAFFIC."

WOW. WHAT?

HE SORT OF TOLD ME
HE WAS GOING TO TRY
AND SET ME UP WITH YOU.

THAT’S WHY
HE SET THIS DINNER UP.

YOU KNEW?

YOU DIDN’T?

NO.

WOULD YOU HAVE COME
IF YOU DID?

PROBABLY NOT.

BUT I’M GLAD
I’M HERE NOW.

OKAY, GUYS, CAN I GET YOU
SOMETHING TO DRINK?

ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE
A DRINK-DRINK?

SURE.

OKAY, CAN I HAVE -
CAN I GET A MARGARITA
ON THE ROCKS WITH NO SALT?

SURE.
HOW ABOUT FOR YOU?

I’LL HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME.
IT’S WHAT I ALWAYS HAVE.

THANKS, GUYS.
THANK YOU.

SO, RICH SAYS YOU’RE
NEW IN TOWN TODAY, YEAH?

YEAH.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANS?
NOT A ONE.

HOW DO YOU KNOW RICH?

I, UM,
THIS IS EMBARRASSING.

I TOOK A DRAMA CLASS
A FEW YEARS AGO.

RICH WAS IN THAT CLASS.

YOU WANT TO BE AN ACTOR?

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
I USED TO BE PAINFULLY SHY.

AND I JUST THOUGHT
IT MIGHT HELP.

DID YOU LIKE IT?

UH, SADLY,
I WASN’T VERY TALENTED.

I FIND THAT
HARD TO BELIEVE.

RICH, HOWEVER,
WAS VERY THEATRICAL.

OH, HE STILL IS.

YEAH, I HEAR YOU’RE STAYING
IN THE MISS SAIGON ROOM.

YEAH, LET’S NOT GO THERE.

IT’S FINE.
I STAYED WITH RICH
FOR A WHILE

AND IT WAS
A MEXICO THEME THEN.

YEAH, UM, THANKS.
JUST MADE ME FEEL BETTER
ABOUT SAIGON.

EXCUSE ME.

THANK YOU.

YOU’RE WELCOME.

YOU GUYS KNOW
WHAT YOU WANT YET?

YEAH.

I’LL, UM, I’LL HAVE
THE TURKEY CLUB SANDWICH,
NO MAYO. THANK YOU.

DO YOU WANT FRIES
OR CHIPS?

CHIPS.

OKAY.

AND HOW ABOUT FOR YOU?

UM, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I’LL JUST HAVE THE EXACT SAME.

OKAY, THANKS, GUYS.

THANK YOU.

GREAT MINDS
DO THINK ALIKE.

CHIPS.
VERY BOLD CHOICE.

I’M FEARLESS THAT WAY.

THAT’S A GOOD QUALITY.

SO, TOAST?

YEAH.

TO RICH’S SET UPS.

I’LL DRINK TO THAT.

SO WHAT DO YOU GET UP TO
FOR FUN IN YOUR SPARE TIME?

SPARE TIME? HAVEN’T HAD
A LOT OF THAT LATELY.

WELL, IF YOU LIKE HIKING
AND THAT TYPE OF THING,

I KNOW A GREAT PLACE
ABOUT 30 MINUTES NORTH OF HERE

I THOUGHT I SHOULD
TAKE YOU TO.

YEAH,
I LOVE ANYTHING OUTDOORS.

WHAT ELSE? UM, WHAT’S YOUR
GUILTY PLEASURE ON TV?

OH, GOD.

COME ON, COME ON.
OUT WITH IT.

THE HOUSEWIVES.

THOSE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY.
WHAT CITY?

DOESN’T EVEN MATTER.
I MEAN, THEY’RE ALL SORT OF
TRASHY AND FUN, YEAH?

YEAH. YEAH.

I ALSO LIKE DOCUMENTARIES.

YEAH, I LOVE DOCUMENTARIES!

I JUST SAW THIS ONE..UMM..
I DON’T REMEMBER THE NAME.

IT’S THEY’RE PROCESSING
ALL THIS FOOD,

AND THEY’RE SHOWING HOW
THEY TAKE IT FROM ONE--

NO, NO, NO.
IT’S "THE FOOD WE KNEW."

"THE FOOD YOU KNEW."
YES!

WHERE THEY MAKE THE NUGGETS
OUT OF THE PINK STUFF.

YEAH, YEAH.
YOU SAW THAT?

YEAH, I LOVED IT.
I HAVEN’T EATEN A NUGGET SINCE.

YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE
YOU’VE EATEN A NUGGET EVER.

THANK YOU.
YOU LOOK FANTASTIC YOURSELF.

EXCEPT,
YOU’RE LIKE JOLLY GREEN
AND I’M SPROUT.

I LIKE SPROUTS.

UMM..YOU EVER GO TO PIER 44?

I USED TO LOVE THAT PLACE,
YEAH.

OH, NO MORE?

YOU HAVE BEEN GONE
FOR A WHILE.

IT SHUT DOWN
LIKE FOUR YEARS AGO.
WHAT?

I CAN TAKE YOU TO ANOTHER PLACE
THAT’S VERY SIMILAR.

IT’S NOT FAR
FROM WHERE I LIVE.

YEAH. WHERE’S THAT?
DOWNTOWN.

I LOVE DOWNTOWN. YOU KNOW,
I LIKE HOW IT’S ALL WALKABLE,

AND THEN YOU HAVE
ALL THE SHOPS AND...

YEAH, I LIKE IT TOO.
IT’S JUST GOT THAT REAL
SENSE OF COMMUNITY.

RICH SAYS YOU’VE JUST
GOT OUT OF THE SERVICE.

YEAH, NAVY.

I WAS IN THE NAVY
BACK HOME.

OH, RIGHT ON.
14 YEARS.

WOW!
14 YEARS IS A LONG TIME
TO BE HIDING.

HIDING?

I MEAN DON’T ASK
DON’T TELL JUST ENDED,

IT’S NOT LIKE
YOU COULD HAVE BEEN OUT.

I WOULDN’T
CALL THAT HIDING.

WHATEVER YOU NEED
TO TELL YOURSELF.

HOW LONG WERE YOU IN?

TWO YEARS.
I WAS DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED

WHEN THEY FOUND SOME LETTERS
BETWEEN ME AND MY BOYFRIEND.

I THOUGHT AUSTRALIA ALLOWED
GAYS IN THE MILITARY.

THEY DO NOW.

IT WAS REVOKED IN THE MID 90’S.
THAT WAS AFTER MY TIME.

THAT SUCKS.

I DON’T THINK OUR ORIENTATION

HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH,
HOW WE, YOU KNOW,
PROTECT OUR COUNTRY.

WELL, IF LESS GUYS
HAD HID THEIR SEXUALITY,

DON’T ASK DON’T TELL WOULD HAVE
BEEN REPEALED A LONG TIME AGO.

I WISH YOU COULD HAVE HAD
THE SAME EXPERIENCE I HAD.

LET’S JUST. LET’S JUST
CHANGE THE SUBJECT, OKAY?

TYPICAL.
EXCUSE ME?

THAT’S THE FUNDAMENTAL
DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN GUYS LIKE YOU,
WILL, AND GUYS LIKE ME.

GUYS LIKE ME?

YEAH, YOU OBVIOUSLY DON’T LIKE
TO HEAR THE TRUTH ABOUT THINGS.

THE TRUTH.
HERE’S SOME TRUTH FOR YOU.

I WAS IN THE SERVICE
FOR 14 YEARS

PROVIDING FREEDOMS
FOR EVERYBODY IN THIS COUNTRY.

10 OF THOSE WERE SPENT OVERSEAS
AWAY FROM EVERYTHING AND
EVERYBODY I LOVE.

I’M SORRY, WHAT DID YOU DO
IN THE SERVICE?

I WAS DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED.
EVERYTHING I DID MEANT NOTHING!

WELL YOU’RE HOLDING ONTO THAT
PRETTY TIGHTLY AREN’T YOU?

YEAH, AND YOU SEEM TO THINK
THAT MOST OF THE GUYS
YOU SERVED WITH

WOULD BE HAPPY TO KNOW
THAT YOU’RE GAY.

THAT THEY’D EMBRACE IT
AND MARCH WITH YOU
IN A PARADE.

WELL I WOULDN’T ACTUALLY
MARCH IN A PARADE MYSELF.
WOULD YOU?

ABSOLUTELY! AND HALF
THOSE GUYS YOU’RE TALKING
ABOUT WOULD DISOWN YOU.

I MEAN, ARE YOU EVEN OUT?
OUT OF WHAT?

THE CLOSET.

I’M NOT IN.

I DON’T HAVE A STICKER ON MY CAR
IF THAT’S WHAT YOU MEAN.

I’M NOT ASHAMED
OF WHO I AM.

THERE’S A BIG DIFFERENCE WILL

ABOUT NOT BEING ASHAMED
OF WHO YOU ARE

AND JUST BEING WHO YOU ARE.

I’M SORRY THAT YOU AND I
HAD DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES.

I’M NOT SORRY
THAT I WAS HONEST!

WELL I DON’T THINK THAT
SEPARATING MY BUSINESS LIFE
FROM MY PERSONAL LIFE

MAKES ME A DISHONEST PERSON.

ALL RIGHT,
HERE YOU GUYS GO.

THANKS.

THANK YOU.

I THINK IT’S SO CUTE
WHEN COUPLES DRESS ALIKE.

THANKS.

CAN I GET YOU GUYS
ANYTHING ELSE?
NO THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, NO.

HE THINKS WE’RE A COUPLE.

MUST BE THE SHIRTS.

SANDWICH LOOKS GOOD.

LISTEN, I’M NOT
VERY HUNGRY ANYMORE.

THIS IS A SENSITIVE
SUBJECT FOR ME.

I GET THAT.
I AM REALLY SORRY I UPSET YOU.

I JUST DON’T THINK
THAT LIFE’S SOMETHING

THAT YOU CAN CHOP UP
AND SEPARATE COMPLETELY.

I APPRECIATE THAT,
BUT I THINK THAT IN CERTAIN
SITUATIONS

I JUST DISAGREE.

LISTEN, I’M JUST GOING
TO GET MY FOOD TO GO.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YOU’RE THIS UPSET?

LOOK, IT’S NOT YOU.
THIS IS A SENSITIVE
SUBJECT FOR ME.

THIS FEELS A LITTLE
PERSONAL TO ME.

THIS IS NOT THE FIRST IMPRESSION
I WANTED TO MAKE, WILL.

YOU’RE ADORABLE.
IT’S ME.

YOU’RE FINE.
DISAGREEMENTS HAPPEN.

MAYBE NEXT TIME WILL.
I’M SORRY.

YOU’RE REALLY GOING TO GO?

CAN I GET THE CHECK PLEASE?

I’M SORRY WILL.

THANK YOU,
I’LL PICK THIS UP.

OKAY, I KNOW YOU’RE MAD
I SET YOU UP,

BUT YOU TWO ARE LIKE
TWO PEAS IN A POD, RIGHT?

WILLUP.

CHRISTINE.
YOU KNOW I HATE THAT NAME.

I KNOW YOU DO.
OH I’M SO EXCITED!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE HOME.

THIS IS UM QUITE THE LOOK YOU
GUYS HAVE GOING ON HERE.

OH, YOU LIKE IT? WE CALL IT AT
HOME DAY SPA CHIC.

SO? HOW’D IT GO?

NOT GREAT.

NOT GREAT OR NOT YOUR TYPE?

TOTALLY MY TYPE BUT I THINK
I REALLY UPSET HIM.

ARE YOU THAT OUT OF PRACTICE
WITH DATING?

I DON’T KNOW. I MEAN IT WAS
GOING SO WELL IN THE BEGINNING.

WHAT HAPPENED? TELL UNCLE
RICHARD ALL ABOUT IT.

JOSH IS SO CUTE.
AND IF I RECALL YOUR TYPE,
HE’S EXACTLY IT.

YEAH, WELL I’M SURE
THAT I’M NOT HIS.

NO, TRUST ME. YOU ARE
HIS TYPE TO A CAPITAL T.

NOW WHAT HAPPENED?

WE ARE JUST NOT COMPATIBLE.

TWO TOPS DON’T MAKE
A BOTTOM HUH?

OR MORE LIKE TWO BOTTOMS
DON’T MAKE A TOP.

OOOH IT’S ALWAYS
THE BIG BOYS.

AND YOU WOULD MAKE THREE.

FIRST, DON’T MAKE JOKES.
YOU’RE NOT GOOD AT IT.

YOUR JOB
IS TO LOOK PRETTY.

WHICH YOU’RE VERY GOOD AT.

MHM. YOU NEED TO KNOW
YOUR STRENGTHS.

AND SECONDLY
DO NOT CONFUSE MANNERISMS

WITH ROLES IN THE BOUDOIR.

RICH, ARE YOU SAYING
THAT YOU’RE A TOP?

HOW DO YOU KNOW
THESE TERMS?

ALL MY FRIENDS ARE GAY MEN.

HONEY.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS ASS.

YOU WANNA KNOW WHY
IT’S SO PERFECT?

WHY?

BECAUSE IT NEVER
GETS ASSAULTED.

NOW, YOU NEED A FACIAL.

NO.

YES.

NO I DON’T WANT THIS.

NO MEANS YES.

NO MEANS NO.

OH I KNOW YOU WANT IT.
I CAN FEEL IT.

OH, HE’S GOING TO BE SO CUTE.

OKAY, CHRISTINE.
I NEED TWO VODKAS
AND ONE FOR WILL STAT.

NOW YOU JUST RELAX
AND TELL US EVERYTHING.

SIP ON THIS.

OKAY. FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS.
JUST ANSWER YES OR NO.

DID YOU THINK HE WAS CUTE?

WE WORE THE SAME SHIRT.

YES OR NO.

YES. YES.

OKAY, WELL THEN, WHAT’S THE
PROBLEM? WILL, LIFE IS SHORT.

NOW YOU’RE JUST GOING
TO HAVE TO TRUST ME
THAT I KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU.

ME AND JOSH,
HE’S NOT HAVING IT.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD LET HIM
DECIDE THAT.

AND BESIDES, YOU’RE GOING
TO SEE HIM AGAIN IN A FEW WEEKS
AT MY BIRTHDAY PARTY.

MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RICH.

THANK YOU JACK.
DID YOU GUYS GET SOME CAKE?

NOOO. JACK AND I ARE DIETING
FOR OUR CRUISE NEXT MONTH.

HELLO.
YOU LOOK LIKE GREEK GODS.
EAT SOME CAKE.

HEY GUYS.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

OH. I TOLD YOU NO GIFTS.

IT’S SMALL.

THAT’S WHAT HE SAID.

MR. RIGHT INCOMING.

OUTGOING.

WHERE’S HE GOING?

TO GET CAKE,
MAYBE YOU SHOULD JOIN HIM.

I’VE ALREADY GOT CAKE.

NOT ANYMORE.

GO GET SOME CAKE.

I ACTED LIKE AN IDIOT AT THE
RESTAURANT THE OTHER NIGHT.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICH.

HOW ARE MY TWO FAVORITE
CIRCUIT QUEENS DOING?

DIETING.

HMM.

I SEE YOU CHASED OFF WILL.

NO, HE DIDN’T HANK.

I KNOW AVOIDANCE
WHEN I SEE IT,
AND THAT IS AVOIDANCE.

OH HANK, YOU SEE IT OFTEN?

I’M JUST SAYING.

HANK, PUT A SOCK IN IT OKAY.

JOSH, YOU’RE FINE.
NOW GO TALK TO HIM.

I THINK
I’M JUST GOING TO LEAVE.

NO, NO. YOU JUST GOT HERE.

LUNCH THIS WEEK?

OF COURSE.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

IT WILL HAPPEN.

BYE JOSH.

SO, WHERE’S THE CRUISE TO?

GREECE.

WE’RE GOING TO BRING IN
A THIRD.

UH HUH.

ONLY THINKING ABOUT
POSSIBLY DOING IT.

TOTALLY DOING IT.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICH.

THANK YOU JOE.
CAN WE TAKE HIM HOME?

SHAWN.

WHERE DID JOSH JUST GO?

YOU CHASED HIM OFF.

HANK.

IT JUST WASN’T THE RIGHT
TIMING TONIGHT HONEY.

WHAT ARE YOU
SUPPOSED TO BE?

I’M A RUGBY PLAYER.

REALLY?

OOOOH.
THE SHORTS ARE HOT.

SEXY COP.

WILLUP, STRAIGHT GIRLS
LOVE HALLOWEEN,

BECAUSE WE GET TO BE SLUTS.

NICE COSTUME OFFICER.

YOU TOO. I LOVE THE SHORTS,
AND EVERYTHING IN THEM.

ALL NATURAL.

HEY GUYS,
SHOTS IN THE KITCHEN.

POSSIBLE THIRD.

LOOKS LIKE I’M TAKING SHOTS
IN THE KITCHEN.

YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME
WITH THAT.

MMM.
I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE
A STRAIGHT GUY.

HI, I’M COLLIN.
I DON’T THINK WE’VE MET.

WILL.

IT’S UH, A NICE COSTUME.

THANKS, UH WHAT ARE YOU?

I’M A RUGBY PLAYER.

IT’S NICE.

THANKS.

HEY, WILL.
JOSH.

I’M SORRY THAT I DIDN’T SAY
GOODBYE AT RICHARD’S BIRTHDAY.

THAT’S FINE.

YOU LOOK GREAT.

SO DO YOU.

I SEE YOU’VE MET
MY BOYFRIEND.

UMM, WHEN YOU’RE DONE,
I’LL BE OVER THERE.

THAT’S COLLIN.

YEAH, WE’VE MET.

IT’S JUST A SECOND DATE.

WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

WHOA WHOA WILL.
HE’S NOT MY BOYFRIEND.

DOES HE KNOW THAT?

I LOVE YOUR COSTUME.

THANKS.

YOU LOOK GREAT!

AND WHAT ARE YOU DRESSED AS?
THE BABYSITTER?

IT’S JUST A DATE.

IT’S GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HEY JOSH. YEE HAW!

NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, HANK.

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE
ISN’T GOING TO HAPPEN?

YOU AND WILL. SO STOP
WITH THE PUPPY DOG EYES.

THEY’RE NOT PUPPY DOG
EYES, HANK.

WELL YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU’RE ROBBING THE CRADLE
WITH YOUR DATE.

SINCE YOU’RE GOING TO PROBABLY
GO TO JAIL FOR STATUTORY,

WANNA BE CELL MATES?

JOSH, DO YOU MIND IF I BORROW
YOU FOR A SECOND. BYE HANK.

THANKS FOR SAVING ME THERE.

AND I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE THANKS
FOR EVERYONE BEING HERE.

THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING.

I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE THANKS
TO OUR UPCOMING CRUISE.

I AM THANKFUL FOR RICH
FOR SETTING ME UP WITH FRANK.

AND I WILL SECOND
THAT SENTIMENT.

I’M THANKFUL EVERYONE’S
SO HAPPY AND HEALTHY.

I’M THANKFUL FOR ALL THE NEW
FRIENDS THAT I’M MAKING,

AND I’M THANKFUL FOR WILL.

I’M THANKFUL FOR MY HEALTH AND
FOR MY REALLY GOOD FRIENDS.

I’M THANKFUL WE FINALLY GET
TO HAVE A CHEAP MEAL.

ALTHOUGH WE WON’T
BE HAVING CAKE.

OR A THIRD.

WE’LL SEE ABOUT THAT.

MHM.
ALRIGHT, CHEERS!

[ALL] CHEERS!

WILL, HOW DID YOU
AND MIKE MEET?

CAN I TELL HIM?
ALRIGHT SO I’M JOGGING
ON THE BEACH, RIGHT?

AND I RUN INTO
THIS GORGEOUS FACE.

I LOOK DOWN, WE’RE WEARING
THE SAME SNEAKERS.

I KNEW HE WAS PERFECT
FOR ME.

SOUNDS PERFECT.
IT IS.

IT’S YOU KNOW,
STILL REALLY NEW.

YEAH, BUT WHEN YOU KNOW,
YOU JUST KNOW.

I MEAN HOW MANY TIMES
DO YOU RUN INTO SOMEONE,

YOU’RE WEARING
THE SAME SNEAKERS,

AND YOU FALL IN LOVE
WITH THEM?

SOUNDS LIKE YOU KNOW.

I DO.
I DON’T KNOW.

SO, JOSH.
WHERE’S COLLIN?

YOU KNOW
THAT DIDN’T WORK OUT.

DID I?

IT DIDN’T.

IT DIDN’T.

SO EVEN THOUGH IT’S BEEN LIKE,
WHAT LIKE TWO WEEKS?

ABOUT TWO WEEKS, RIGHT?

LIKE, FOUR DATES.

ALRIGHT, LIKE FOUR DATES.

IT’S BEEN ABOUT
A WEEK AND A HALF.

BUT IT’S BEEN A WEEK
AND A HALF OF PERFECTION.

SO... UMM
ARE YOU SEEING ANYONE?

NO.

YOU’RE NOT.

OH MY GOD! YOU KNOW WHAT I
TOTALLY JUST REALIZED?

THIS IS OUR FIFTH DATE.

WELL, HERE’S ANOTHER
TOAST TO TIMING.

SOMETIMES THE TIMING
IS RIGHT.

MHM.
AND SOMETIMES IT’S NOT.

OKAY. CHEERS QUEERS
AND TOKEN STRAIGHT COUPLE.
AMEN.

AMEN, CHEERS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

I’VE GOT MISTLETOE.
WHO WANTS A CHRISTMAS KISS?
HO HO HO.

I DO.
WILL, YOU WANNA KISS HIM?

GIVE IT A REST.

GRINCH.

STOP BEING SO STUBBORN.
HE LIKES YOU.

ALL RIGHT, FINE.

WILL, WAIT.

WOW. GREAT ADVICE.

I’M SORRY.

OKAY TOM, THAT’S ENOUGH.
THANK YOU.

JOSH,
CAN I SEE YOUR YULE LOG?

HERE.

KISS UNDER THE MISTLETOE.
MUAH MUAH MUAH.

WHY DON’T CHICKS
ACT LIKE THAT?

MOST GAY MEN ARE WHORES.

MOST CHICKS I KNOW
ARE WHORES.

DO YOU WANNA SEE
MY YULE LOG?

OOH. I CAN BE
YOUR NAUGHTY LITTLE ELF.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

YOU TOO.

MISTLETOE KISS?

YOU DON’T HAVE
ANY MISTLETOE.

CHRISTMAS KISS?

FINE.

HOW ABOUT A REAL ONE?

YOU’VE STILL GOT TOM
ALL OVER YOUR LIPS.

OH COME ON WILL.
IT MEANT NOTHING.

IT WAS JUST A HOLIDAY KISS.

YEAH, WELL THAT WAS
THE BIGGEST "DIDN’T MEAN
ANYTHING" I’VE EVER SEEN.

YOU’RE JEALOUS.

NO.
YOU ARE.

LOOK AT YOU.

IT’S NOT THAT I’M JEALOUS.

I DON’T WANT TO BE THE GUY

THAT’S KISSING THE GUY
WHO’S KISSING EVERYBODY ELSE.

IT WAS JUST A KISS.
IT DIDN’T MEAN ANYTHING.

IT NEVER DOES.

I DON’T THINK
I’LL BE ANY DIFFERENT.

HOW’S MIKE?

WHO’S THAT?

THANKSGIVING.

YEAH, THAT ENDED.

WHY’S THAT?

HE THOUGHT I LIKED
SOMEBODY ELSE.

AND DO YOU?

WHERE’S THAT MISTLETOE?

NOT NOW TOM.

NOW’S THE PERFECT TIME, TOM.

SO HOW ABOUT THAT KISS?

IS THIS
THE KISSING BOOTH?

NO. EXCUSE ME GUYS.

HEY, I LIKE YOU.

UMM. WE’RE GOING
TO GIVE YOU A MINUTE.

DID YOU HEAR ME?

THANK YOU.

AND I THINK
YOU LIKE ME TOO.

I THINK THE TIMING IS EVERYTHING
AND OURS IS NOT LINING UP.

OH COME ON.
CUT ME A BREAK HERE WILL.

I’M TRYING.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

HEY. MERRY CHRISTMAS.

DON’T GIVE ME THAT CRAP.

COULD YOU WORK ANY HARDER
AT PUSHING HIM AWAY?

WILL, HAVE YOU MET
ADAM AND BURT?

OH, YEAH, HALLOWEEN, RIGHT?

YEAH, I THINK SO.
I WAS BATMAN AND BURT WAS ROBIN.

YOU GET IT?

BECAUSE HE’S ADAM
AND I’M BURT.

WILL ONLY KNOWS THE CLOONEY
VERSION, NOT THE CLASSIC.

WELL IT SEEMS LIKE YOU’RE
HAVING SOME TROUBLE
WITH A MAN THAT YOU LIKE.

WOW. GOSSIP MUCH?

I DON’T KNOW WHAT
THAT GUY’S PROBLEM IS.

YOU KNOW WE’VE BEEN
TOGETHER FOR 21 YEARS.

MHM. AND THEY’VE BEEN
MONOGAMOUS.

I THINK THAT’S
REALLY FANTASTIC.

I TOLD YOU,
STOP BEING SO STUBBORN.

SOME THINGS
ARE WORTH THE RISK.

I’LL DO IT ANOTHER TIME.

YOU ALWAYS THINK
THERE’S ANOTHER TIME.

YOUR CLOCK IS TICKING
AND THE COUNTDOWN IS ON.

FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

THIS IS TYLER.
TYLER THIS IS WILL.

HI.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

NO DATE?

NOPE.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, HONEY.

CAN YOU BELIEVE HE TRIED
TO KISS ME AND HE’S HERE
ON A DATE?

WHO DID?

JOSH.

DID YOU KISS HIM?

HE’S HERE ON A DATE.

COULD HAVE BEEN YOU, MAN.

YOU WANNA SIT?

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

YOU KNOW YOU COULD JUST
GO OVER TO HIM AND TELL HIM
THAT YOU LIKE HIM.

HE’S HERE ON A DATE.

TRUST ME.
HE BROUGHT THAT GUY HERE
TO MAKE YOU JEALOUS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WHEN I WAS TRYING
TO GET WITH CHRISTINA,
I USED TO BRING AROUND GIRL.

DRIVES PEOPLE CRAZY.

HMM.

HEY, I’M LIZ.

DO YOU KNOW THAT I DIDN’T
GET A NEW YEAR’S KISS.

HAPPY NEW YEAR BABY.

OH, I’M SORRY SWEETIE.
HE’S TAKEN.

BUT YOU KNOW THAT GUY
HANK OVER THERE?
HE’S TOTALLY SINGLE.

THANKS GIRL.

YOU KNOW HANK’S GAY.

SHE DOESN’T.

AND HANK’S SO DRUNK, HE’S
PROBABLY NOT SURE EITHER.

YOU’RE AN EVIL BITCH.

HONEY,
CAN YOU GIVE US A MINUTE?

OF COURSE.

NO FLIRTING WHILE YOU’RE AWAY.

NO FLIRTING WITH GAY GUYS.

FUNNY.
OR THAT SLUT LIZ.

I LOVE YOU.

SEE?
LIKE A CHARM.

YOU DID NOT HAVE
TO SEND HIM AWAY.

HE KNOWS YOU’RE
MY GAY BOYFRIEND.

IT’S YOUR JOB
TO GOSSIP WITH ME

AND IT’S HIS JOB
TO HAVE SEX WITH ME.

HE’S FINE.
IT’S A WIN-WIN FOR EVERYONE.

AND NOW HE CAN GO FLIRT
WITH THAT GIRL.

HE THINKS
IT MAKES ME JEALOUS.

DOESN’T IT?

I KNOW WHO
HE’S GOING HOME WITH.

HEY GUYS.
LET’S HAVE A TOAST.

TO THE NEW YEAR.

TO WHAT SHOULD BE.

YOU SHOULD BE PAYING
ATTENTION TO YOUR DATE.

I CAN’T WIN
WITH THAT GUY.

HMM, WELL MAYBE IF
YOU DIDN’T BRING A DATE

HE’D KNOW THAT YOU LIKED HIM.

I WAS TRYING
TO MAKE HIM JEALOUS.

YOU BOYS ALWAYS THINK
THAT THAT TRICK WORKS.

WHAT TRICK?

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

ARE YOU HAVING FUN?

HELLO?

YES, YES.
I’M HAVING FUN.

ME TOO.

I THINK, I THINK
WE SHOULD MAKE OUT.

LISTEN, TYLER.

YES, JOSHIE POO.

OH GOD, I THINK
I’M GOING TO THROW UP.

SO LIKE DUDE, OF COURSE
I WATCH THE HALFTIME SHOW.

IT WAS MADONNA.

SHE ALMOST FELL ON HER ASS
GETTING OFF THE BLEACHERS.

AND APPARENTLY YOU TWO
ARE HAVING A MOMENT. OKAY.

HI. WANT TO GET LAID? NO.

WILL, THIS IS THE PART
WHEN YOU GO ACROSS THE ROOM.

AFTER ALL,
IT IS THE NEW YEAR.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU GUYS ARE RIGHT.

YOUR DATE IS THROWING UP
ALL OVER THE BATHROOM.

OH NO. I’M SO SORRY.

MAYBE IT’S TIME
TO CART HIM HOME.

I’LL GO ROUND HIM UP.

HONEY, I’M SO SORRY.
I DIDN’T REALIZE.

IT’S FINE.
IT’S JUST NOT MEANT TO BE.

THAT IS SUCH A FATALISTIC
STATEMENT.

I GET TO BE
THE DRAMATIC ONE.

MAYBE I SHOULD BE THE ONE
TO HELP TYLER OUT.

YOU’RE GOING TO GO IN THERE
AND CLEAN UP PUKE?

I SAID HELP, NOT CLEAN.

JACK, SHAWN. A LITTLE
HELP PLEASE OR NOT.

I THINK I’LL TAKE HIM HOME.
HE’S HAD ENOUGH.

YES.
THAT’S PROBABLY A GOOD IDEA.

WE CAN TAKE HIM HOME.

REALLY?

THAT’S PROBABLY
NOT A GOOD IDEA.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, WILL.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

YOU WILL RING HIM TOMORROW.

I DON’T KNOW.

NIGHT.

THIS IS WHY I LOVE
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.

SITTING AT THE POOL
IN JANUARY.

AMEN TO THAT.
SO, ANYTHING NEW?

WE’RE CONSIDERING
BECOMING A TRIAD.

A WHAT?

A TRIAD.

A THREEWAY RELATIONSHIP.

OOHHH.

LISTEN TO YOU JUDGEY BEAR.

I’M NOT JUDGING.

YES YOU ARE BUT I FORGIVE YOU.

YOU GUYS SHOULD BE THANKFUL
YOU HAVE EACH OTHER.

I CAN’T GET ONE BOYFRIEND
AND YOU WANT TWO?

WHAT ABOUT JOSH?

WHY ISN’T ANYONE TRYING
TO SET ME UP WITH JOSH?

BECAUSE HE’S A CATCH.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT
YOU GUYS ARE THINKING,

BUT IF JACK WANTED HIM,
HE’D BE OUR THIRD
IN A HEARTBEAT.

AND NO WAY THAT’S GOING TO
HAPPEN RIGHT NOW, WITH ANYONE.

SO HE’S A CATCH AND THAT MEANS
YOU CAN’T SET HIM UP WITH ME.

EVERYONE KNOWS WILL AND JOSH
ARE THE SETTLE DOWN TYPE
AND YOU HANK ARE NOT.

OKAY, YOU’RE RIGHT.
I’M NOT.

HEY.

OH, YOU OKAY?...

DO YOU NEED US
TO BRING YOU ANYTHING?...

OH, OKAY.. ARE YOU SURE?...
OKAY, BYE.

WHO WAS THAT?
THAT WAS RICH.
HE’S NOT FEELING WELL.

HE’S NOT COMING OUT TODAY.

WILL, WAS HE SICK
THIS MORNING.

NOT THAT I KNOW OF.

HE’S PROBABLY JUST HUNG OVER
FROM THE PARTY LAST NIGHT.

YOU DIDN’T SEE HIM
THIS MORNING?

NO. I WENT TO THE GYM
EARLY THIS MORNING.

BACK TO JOSH. DO YOU THINK
HE’S A TOP OR A BOTTOM?

OH HE’S A BOTTOM.
TOP.

BOTTOM.
I DON’T CARE.

YES YOU DO.

I CARE.
I JUST KNOW HE’S A TOP.

WRONG, BITTERMEISTER.

YOU HOPE HE’S A TOP.

AND HOPE ALL YOU WANT, JOSH
ISN’T INTO YOU, HANK.

WILL? TOP OR BOTTOM?

TOP OR BOTTOM?

TOP? BOTTOM?
TOP?

SHAWN, I’M NOT GOING TO PLAY
THIS STUPID GAME WITH YOU.

SUCH A BABY.

GOD.

AND HE’S NEVER COMING BACK.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT THAT
WAS MORE MATURE THAN NORMAL.

I WISH MY BOYFRIENDS
DIDN’T WANT TO TALK.

AND BY BOYFRIENDS
YOU MEAN TRICKS.

PO-TA-TO PUH-TA-TO.

YOU MISSED A REALLY GOOD TIME
AT THE POOL TODAY.

OH MY GOD.

OH MY GOD.
RICH. RICH. RICH! RICH!

OH MY GOD. RICH!

RICHIE, RICHIE!

9-1-1.

YEAH, MY FRIEND,
HE TOOK SOME PILLS.

WHAT KIND?

I DON’T KNOW.
CALM DOWN.

I DON’T KNOW IT’S UM.

LOCATION PLEASE.

YEAH, WE’RE AT
20 CEDAR STREET.

L.A.?
YEAH.

HELP IS ON THE WAY THERE.

I KNOW THE BOTH OF YOU
MUST BE IN SHOCK.

SUICIDE IS NEVER AN EASY THING
TO DEAL WITH.

CAN WE PLEASE STOP SAYING
IT WAS SUICIDE?

IT WAS AN
ACCIDENTAL OVERDOSE.

WILL.

THERE WAS NO NOTE.

RICH DIDN’T DO DRUGS AND HE
DIDN’T DRINK THAT MUCH.

I KNOW THIS IS OVERWHELMING,

BUT HE DID NAME THE BOTH OF YOU
AS EXECUTORS TO HIS ESTATE.

THE BOTH OF US?

ISN’T THAT FOR ONE PERSON?

WELL, EACH SITUATION
IS DIFFERENT.

WHEN RICH DRAFTED THIS WILL,
HE WAS VERY, VERY CLEAR.

WHAT DO WE NEED TO DO?

LIKE FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS?

RICH’S REQUEST WAS TO BE
CREMATED AND HAVE HIS ASHES
SPREAD AT THE BEACH.

THE MAJORITY OF HIS MONEY IS
GOING TO VARIOUS CHARITIES.

WILL, HE’S LEFT YOU
THE CONDO ON CEDAR STREET.

NOW MOST OF HIS BIG
TICKET ITEMS ARE COVERED,

BUT THE TWO OF YOU
WILL HAVE TO DECIDE

WHAT TO DO WITH HIS
REMAINING PERSONAL EFFECTS.

YOU MEAN HIS STUFF.

YES. AND HE’S ALSO ASKED
THAT YOU GIVE THE EULOGY.

DID YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
HE WAS PLANNING THIS?

NO.

UM, I DON’T SEE ANYTHING
ABOUT LILLY IN HERE.

WOW.

HE LEFT QUITE AN AMOUNT

TO THAT YOUTH CHARITY
I VOLUNTEER WITH.

YOU DIDN’T SEE ANY SIGNS?

NO.

YOU’VE BEEN AROUND
FOR YEARS, DIDN’T YOU?

LOOK, I’LL TAKE CARE
OF THE REMAINS

AND YOU CAN ORGANIZE
THE WAKE AT THE HOUSE, YEAH?

YEAH. THAT’S FINE.

I DO HAVE A NUMBER OF PAPERS
FOR YOU BOTH TO SIGN.

BUT IF THERE’S ANYTHING
THAT I CAN DO...

ANYTHING...
PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

[MELANCHOLY POP MUSIC]

♪♪

IF YOU KNEW RICH
LIKE I KNEW RICH,

YOU’D KNOW HE LOVES PARTIES.

HE ALWAYS SAID TO ME,

THAT WHEN IT’S MY TIME
TO GET CALLED HOME

I WANT TO HAVE
THE BIGGEST PARTY.

GUESS WE MESSED THAT ONE UP,
HUH BUDDY?

WE’RE ALL IN BLACK.

HE’S PROBABLY LOOKING AT US
NOW FROM SOME FABULOUSLY
DECORATED ROOM.

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

YOU PROBABLY HATE YOUR URN.

YOU WOULD HATE ME
ACTING LIKE THIS.

SORRY ABOUT THAT TOO.

I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M GOING
TO DO WITHOUT MY OLDEST FRIEND.

RICH ALWAYS SAID THAT THE CURE
FOR ANYTHING WAS SALTWATER.

TEARS, SWEAT, OR THE SEA.

RICH THOUGHT THE GREATEST GIFTS
IN LIFE WERE FRIENDSHIP,

LOVE, AND FORGIVENESS.

IF YOU HAD THOSE
THEN YOU HAD A RICH LIFE.

I KNOW HE GAVE THOSE TO ME

AND TO EACH AND EVERY ONE
OF YOU HERE.

HE’LL BE SADLY MISSED.

MAY HE REST IN PEACE.

HOW DO YOU EVEN BEGIN
TO BOX UP SOMEBODY’S LIFE.

WELL, YOU CAN START
BY MAKING THREE PILES.

ONE TO GIVE AWAY,

ONE TO DONATE, AND TRASH.

AND YOU KNOW WE STILL NEED
TO FIND LILLY A HOME.

ONCOLOGY-TRASH.

DONATE.

TO WHO, WILL?

ARE YOU ASKING OR ARGUING?

I’M NOT ARGUING,
I’M EXPEDITING.

I DON’T KNOW HOW THIS
IS SO EASY FOR YOU.

I’M NOT TELLING YOU HOW
TO PROCESS YOUR FEELINGS.

RICH DIDN’T LIKE PEOPLE
TO BE SAD.

THAT’S ALL.

I JUST DON’T GET YOU.

AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND

WHY YOU’RE SO HELL-BENT ON
GIVING LILLY AWAY SO FAST.

BUT I DON’T SAY ANYTHING
OUT LOUD.

BECAUSE EVERY TIME I SEE LILLY,
I SEE RICH. OKAY?

SORRY.

WHO ARE YOU CALLING NOW,
THE SHELTER?

HEY CHRISTINE, IT’S WILL.

WHEN YOU GET THIS
GIVE ME A CALL IN CASE

YOU WANT ANYTHING BEFORE JOSH
THROWS IT ALL AWAY.

SHE’S OUT DELIVERING
THE DONATIONS TODAY.

SHE JUST WANTS SOME PHOTOS.

A BOX OF OLD CASSETTE TAPES.

WHO STILL HAS THOSE?

GENESIS, ACKA/DACKA.

WHAT’S ACKA/DACKA?

IT’S AN AUSSIE THING. AC/DC.

THE GO-GO’S.

OH. I LOVE THE GO-GO’S.

♪ VACATION, ALL I EVER WANTED ♪

♪ VACATION, HAVE TO GET AWAY ♪

YOU KNOW THE GO-GO LYRICS?

BECAUSE I DON’T GO GOO-GOO
FOR LADY BLAH-BLAH,

I KNOW SINGLE ONES.

WELL, YOU HAVE TO SAVE THOSE.

DO YOU EVEN OWN
A CASSETTE TAPE PLAYER?

NO.

THEN TRASH.

SAVE.

WILL, CAN YOU GIVE ME
A HAND PLEASE.

WOW! LOOK AT THIS PICTURE
OF THE TWO OF YOU.

LET’S SEE.

LOOKS LIKE HAWAII, 2000.

LOOK HOW YOUNG RICH LOOKS.
I LOOK ALRIGHT.

JUST FOR THE RECORD,
THIS IS NOT EASY FOR ME EITHER.

I KNOW.

WE MAY NOT PROCESS THINGS
THE SAME WAY WILL.

YOU AND I ARE NOT SO DIFFERENT.

HE ALWAYS PLANNED
THE BEST TRIPS, DIDN’T HE?

I MISS YOU. WANKER.

I’M SO ANGRY AT HIM.
YOU WANT TO HEAR CRAZY?

AFTER THE WAKE I WAS SO UPSET

I ACTUALLY PICKED
THE PHONE UP TO CALL HIM.

I KEEP THINKING HE’S GOING
TO COME OUT

OF ONE OF HIS BEDROOMS
AND THROW FIT

BECAUSE WE’RE PACKING UP
ALL HIS STUFF.

IT’S NOT STUFF.

COLLECTABLES.

BECAUSE WE’RE BOXING UP
HIS COLLECTABLES.

THANKS.

YEAH, ME TOO.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.

YEAH, WELL, YOU WEREN’T THERE.
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.

LISTEN TO ME.

WHAT RICH DID--

WAS AN ACCIDENT.

NO, NO, NO NO!
WHAT RICH DID WAS WHAT RICH DID.

THAT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. OKAY.

IT COMES IN WAVES, YOU KNOW?

YEAH, I DO.

OH WOW, LOOK.
THERE’S SO MUCH YARN.

DONATE.

IT’S TRASH, WILL. IT’S YARN.

RICH WOULD WANT SOMEONE
TO HAVE THAT.

WILL, IT’S TRASH.

YOU CAN’T JUST THROW EVERYTHING
AWAY BECAUSE IT’S EASIER.

LISTEN TO ME.

I GET IT, BUT THIS ISN’T RICH.
THIS IS JUST STUFF.

IT’S TRASH.
GIVE ME THE YARN.

GIVE ME THE YARN.

OKAY, HAVE IT. DONATE! WHATEVER.

PLEASE JOSH. TAKE ME HOME.

DON’T PUT ME IN THE TRASH.

WILL, DON’T LET HIM THROW ME
IN THE TRASH.

IT’S TRASH WILL.

DID YOU KNOW HE HAD
THIS MUCH STUFF?

NO. LISTEN, DO YOU JUST WANT
TO CALL IT A DAY

AND WE’LL PICK BACK UP TOMORROW?

YEAH, THAT’S GOOD.

DO YOU WANNA GO FOR A DRINK?

I THINK I’M JUST GOING
TO THE BEACH

AND GO FOR A RUN
TO CLEAR MY HEAD.

ARE YOU SURE?

PLEASE WILL.
GO FOR A DRINK WITH JOSH.

I CAN’T.

ALRIGHT, THAT’S COOL.

ALRIGHT,
I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW MAN.

DID YOU KNOW HE COLLECTED
ALL THESE CHACHKIES?

DIDN’T YOU KNOW HE HAD THESE
SALT AND PEPPER SHAKERS?

YOU KNOW WHO HATES THESE?

FRANK.

WELL THEN I THINK YOU SHOULD
GIVE HIM A PAIR.

OH. DONE.

HOW WOULD YOU DO IT?

DO WHAT?

COMMIT SUICIDE.

I WOULDN’T.

IF YOU HAD TO.

WELL, I DON’T HAVE TO.

IF YOU HAD TO!

JESUS JOSH!
CAN YOU GIVE IT A REST?

REALLY JOSH?

YOU PUSHED THAT TOO HARD.

YOU SHOULD GO CHASE HIM.

UH, NO. YOU SHOULD.

TRUST ME. HE DOESN’T WANT ME

CHASING HIM DOWN RIGHT NOW.

GIVE HIM SOME SPACE.
HE’LL BE FINE.

I JUST NEED A BREAK.
I NEED A BREAK FROM THIS.

IT’S OK. IT’S OK. IT’S OK.

TAKE A BREAK.
I CAN FINISH UP HERE.

OKAY.

HEY.

HEY.

WHERE’S CHRISTINE?

SHE NEEDED A BREAK.

LOOK, I’M SORRY.

IT’S FINE.

IT’S NOT REALLY. I’M SORRY.

I’VE NEVER DEALT WITH ANYTHING

LIKE THIS EITHER AND I’M KIND OF
THROWN FOR A LOOP?

I KNOW.

IT’S ALMOST LIKE RICH WAS
THE GLUE THAT HELD US
ALL TOGETHER.

YEAH, HE HAD A REAL TALENT
FOR THAT.

I WISH I HAD TOLD HIM THAT.

HE KNEW.

TRUCE.

TRUCE.

AND RICH WOULD BE
SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW,

YOU AND I GETTING ALONG
LIKE THIS.

OKAY, SO WHAT’S LEFT TO PACK?

OH GOD. I THINK IT’S ALL DONE.

YEAH?

EXCEPT FOR THIS.

NO.

I GAVE RICH THIS BOTTLE
TWO YEARS AGO.

ONE SHOT.
IN HONOR OF RICH.

ONE SHOT.

TO RICH.

TO RICH.

WHEREVER YOU ARE.

WHAT HAPPENED TO ONE SHOT?

WELL YOU GOT TO MAKE A TOAST
AND I DIDN’T.

ALRIGHT.

TO RICH.

AND HOW HE PAMPERED HIS DOG.

CHEERS.

ALRIGHT, ONE MORE.

YOU’RE A BIG BOY HUH?

YOU KNOW I COULD DRINK YOU UNDER

THE TABLE IF I WANTED TO.

AND I BELIEVE YOU BELIEVE THAT.

YEAH, WELL?
I COULD.

TO RICH AND HIS CRAZY FRIENDS.

IT’S A BIT SMOOTHER ISN’T IT?
IT’S GOOD.

I CAN DRINK THAT DOWN.

IT’S THE LAST ONE.

DRINK IT UP.

LET’S NOT DO THIS

THE TEQUILA’S WORKING OVERTIME.

LET’S GET YOU TO BED.

I’M NOT TIRED.

OF COURSE YOU’RE NOT.

I DON’T WANT TO GO TO BED.

NOPE.

OF COURSE YOU DON’T BUT--
NOPE.

NOPE. NOPE.
NOT READY FOR BED.

ALRIGHT, BED.

THERE YOU GO.

I CAN’T SLEEP WITH MY SOCKS ON.

SOCKS.

SOCKS.

THANK YOU.

SOCK.

ALRIGHT, I WILL SEE YOU
TOMORROW MISTER DRUNKIE.

DON’T GO.

I HAVE TO.

I DON’T WANT TO SLEEP ALONE.

YOU’LL BE FINE.
GO TO SLEEP.

GOD! WHY WON’T YOU LIKE ME?

WILL I DO, I DO.

BUT I DON’T WANT THIS TO BE HOW
IT HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK.

YOU HAVE A SAFE SLEEP.

I THINK I’M HUNG-OVER.

I WONDER WHY.

IT’S YOUR FAULT.

WELL, I SEEM TO RECALL
SOMEONE SAYING

THEY COULD DRINK ME
UNDER THE TABLE.

YEAH, WELL THOSE ARE WORDS
I’M LIVING TO REGRET.

WELL, HELLO.

IS THIS YOURS?

UGH. DON’T TOUCH ME WITH THAT.

YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE
THAT’S BEEN.

I’M PRETTY SURE
I KNOW WHERE THAT’S BEEN.

WHAT DO YOU EVEN DO WITH
SOMETHING THAT SIZE?

REALLY?
DO YOU WANT ME TO SHOW YOU?

THAT IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN?

NEVER SAY NEVER.

OH WOW, WILL.

YOU REALLY NEED
TO TRY THIS ON.

NO. WHY DON’T YOU TRY IT ON.

I WOULD,
BUT IT’S NEVER GOING TO FIT ME?

WELL ISN’T THAT CONVENIENT?

I’LL TELL YOU WHAT.

IF YOU TRY THIS ON,

I’LL TAKE LILLY TILL
WE CAN FIND HER A PROPER HOME.

YOU’LL TAKE LILLY
IF I TRY THIS STUPID THING ON?

YEP.

NO PICS THOUGH.

DONE.

DONE.

JOSH, I DON’T KNOW
HOW THIS WORKS.

THIS ISN’T VERY ?

ARGH! THIS IS SO STUPID!

I FEEL UTTERLY STUPID.

YOU LOOK.

IDIOTIC.

I KNOW WHAT I MEAN WILL.
YOU LOOK HOT.

SHUT UP.

SERIOUSLY THOUGH.

YOU LOOK FUCKING AMAZING.

OKAY, CAN I TAKE THIS OFF NOW?

WAIT, THERE’S SOMETHING
WRONG WITH IT.

HOW LONG ARE WE GOING
TO KEEP FIGHTING THIS?

FIGHTING WHAT?

DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE
TO HAVE THE LAST WORD?

NOT ALWAYS.

OH SHIT.

LISTEN, WHOEVER IT IS,
THEY CAN COME BACK.

I HAVE TO GET THAT.

LISTEN, THEY CAN COME BACK.

EVERYBODY. EVERYBODY HAS KEYS
TO THIS HOUSE.

LISTEN TO ME.

THEY CAN COME BACK.

I’LL BE RIGHT BACK.

YOU’RE BUSY. COME ON.

HELLO.

OH, UM.

OH. DID I CATCH YOU BOYS
AT A BAD TIME?

IT’S NOT EVEN MINE.

OH, WELL IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU’RE HAVING FUN.

I’LL COME BACK LATER.

NO, NO. IT’S FINE, JUST STAY.

UHH, NO!

AND JUST FOR THE RECORD

YOU PUT YOUR JUNK
AND YOUR BALLS
THROUGH THE BOTTOM RING.

WHAT?

THE BOTTOM RING. THIS.

YOU PUT YOUR JUNK THROUGH HERE
AND THAT’S HOW IT STAYS PUT.

IT’S A COCK-RING.

REALLY? BECAUSE THAT SEEMS
A LITTLE SMALL.

IT WILL WORK, OKAY?

HOW?

UHH?

WELL. ..YOU PUT YOUR BEANS
THROUGH THE RING,

ONE BEAN AT A TIME.

AND THEN YOU SLIDE
YOUR FRANK THROUGH IT.

HOW DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT THE BEANS AND FRANK?

I’M REALLY A GAY MAN.

BYE.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO.

I’M ALREADY GONE.

AND RICH WAS RIGHT.
STOP FIGHTING IT WILLUP.

YOU PUT IT THROUGH THIS.

SO, WHERE WERE WE?

YOUR TURN.

BACK TO YOU.

MORNING BEAUTIFUL.

MORNING.

WELL WHO KNEW YOU HAD
THOSE SKILLS?

DO YOU REALLY THINK RICH
KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN?

KNOWING RICH, YEAH.

WHY DID WE WAIT SO LONG
TO DO THIS?

OH, DO WE REALLY NEED TO GET
THROUGH A LIST OF THEM.

PROBABLY NOT.

YOU LOOK REALLY HANDSOME,
MISTER.

YOU DO TOO.

IS IT SICK THAT WE DID IT
IN RICH’S BED?

PROBABLY.

YEAH, PROBABLY.

I HAVE TO GET UP.

I TOLD THE BOYS I’D HAVE
BREAKFAST WITH THEM.

YEAH.

I’M NOT RUNNING.

I JUST HAVE BREAKFAST PLANS
WITH THE BOYS.

YOU COULD COME.

I WOULD LOVE TO BUT TODAY’S
THE DAY I PROMISED

I’D RUN SOME STUFF UP NORTH
TO RICHARD’S DAD’S.

MAYBE I COULD JUST GO WITH YOU.

MMM. NO. YOU GO ENJOY YOURSELF
WITH THE BOYS. YOU DESERVE IT.

YOU PUT IN A LOT
OF HARD WORK LAST NIGHT.

YEAH, WELL THERE’S MORE
WHERE THAT CAME FROM.

I’M OFFICIALLY RUNNING LATE NOW.

SEE YOU TOMORROW THOUGH, YEAH?

ABSOLUTELY.

HOW’S PACKING GOING?

IT’S FINE, IT’S JUST WEIRD

TO PACK UP SOMEBODY’S LIFE
INTO BOXES

LIKE THEY NEVER EXISTED.

WELL, IT’S NOT LIKE THEY NEVER
EXISTED; THOSE ARE JUST THINGS.

YEAH, WELL IT FEELS
WRONG TO ME.

IS JOSH HELPING YOU EVERY DAY?

YEAH. I MEAN HE’S, YOU KNOW,

BRINGING SOME STUFF UP
TO RICH’S DAD’S.

WHY DO YOU HAVE
THAT LOOK ON YOUR FACE?

WHAT LOOK?

I KNOW THAT LOOK.

YOU NEED TO HAVE
SOME MORE COFFEE.

YOU’VE BEEN HAVING SEX!

NO, I HAVEN’T.

YOU DO SMELL LIKE SEX WILL.

OH JUICY! OUT WITH IT.

NO, YOU DID NOT SLEEP WITH JOSH.

YES.

AND?

AND?

IT WAS AMAZING.

RICH IS SMILING
IN HIS GRAVE RIGHT NOW.

YEAH, WELL THAT’S
SO WRONG ABOUT IT.

NO, THIS IS WHAT RICH WANTED.

OH, DID RICH WANT US
TO HAVE SEX IN HIS BED?

EW! NO RESPECT I TELL YOU.

YEAH WELL IT JUST HAPPENED.

CAN WE PLEASE JUST TALK
ABOUT SOMETHING.

UH, NO.
LET’S HEAR SOME DETAILS.

NO, NO, NO DETAILS.

ARE YOU TWO A COUPLE NOW?

I DON’T KNOW.

I DON’T WANT IT TO BE WEIRD

WHEN I SEE HIM TOMORROW.

IT’S NOT GOING TO BE WEIRD.

THIS ISN’T THE FIRST TIME
YOU’VE HAD SEX.

WELL, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
I’VE HAD SEX WITH JOSH.

I REMEMBER MY FIRST TIME.

DO YOU?

UH, NO?

BUT I WILL REMEMBER OUR FIRST
TIME WITH A THIRD.

YOU GAVE INTO THAT? REALLY?

WILL, IT’S JUST SEX.

REMEMBER THAT NEXT TIME
YOU SEE JOSH.

JUST CUZ YOU TWO HOOKED UP
DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE
TO GET MARRIED.

THIS IS JUST A LITTLE BIT
MORE THAN HOOKING UP.

GOOD FOR YOU WILL.

OH, HEY COLLIN.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I KNEW YOU’D BE OVER HERE.

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

YOUR CAR’S OUTSIDE.

I’M SORRY ABOUT YOUR FRIEND.

THANKS MAN.

WELL, CAN I COME IN?

I’M JUST ON MY WAY OUT.

BUT I CAME TO CONSOLE YOU.

I DON’T NEED IT COLLIN.

WHY NOT? BESIDES, IT’S NEVER
STOPPED YOU BEFORE.

IT’S NOT THAT.

IS IT A BAD TIME?
ARE OTHER PEOPLE HERE?

I’M INTO A LITTLE GROUP ACTION.
IT WOULDN’T BE MY FIRST TIME.

THERE’S NO ONE ELSE HERE BABE.

PERFECT.

COLLIN, YOU’RE A SWEET SEXY GUY,

BUT YOU AND I
ARE ON DIFFERENT PAGES.

SO THEN IT’S YOU NOT ME THEN.

YEP.

ARE YOU SURE THAT I CAN’T COME
IN FOR A MINUTE?

BYE COLLIN.

COLLIN, ENOUGH.

HANK, WHAT’S UP?

I’M PICKING UP A BOX
WILL LEFT FOR ME.

DID YOU JUST HAVE SEX WITH
COLLIN IN DEAD RICH’S HOUSE?

SCANDAL.

NO.

WELL HE DIDN’T LEAVE
WITH ANY BOXES.

I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS HANK.
PLEASE. I’M RUNNING LATE.

WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE SEX
IN HERE THEN?

I DIDN’T HAVE SEX WITH COLLIN,
HANK.

NO! WITH UPTIGHT WILL?

HE’S NOT UPTIGHT.
LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT THIS.

OH, WE ARE GOING
TO TALK ABOUT IT!

LISTEN. I AM GOING TO PUT
MY SHOES ON.

YOU’RE GOING TO GET YOUR BOX
AND LEAVE.

WILD NIGHT, I SEE.

IT WASN’T LIKE THAT.

I’M JEALOUS.

HANK, THIS ISN’T GOING
TO HAPPEN. OKAY.

WHY NOT? IT’S JUST SEX.

ISN’T WILL ONE
OF YOUR GOOD FRIENDS?

YEAH. HE’S TOO GOOD FOR YOU.

AND YOU!

I’M BAD FOR YOU.

YOU SHOULD STOP!

NO MEANS YES.

HEY HANK, WHAT’S UP?

SO, ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE HIM
ANOTHER CHANCE?

I DON’T KNOW.

SHAWN, CAN YOU TAKE THIS
TO THE CAR, PLEASE?

SURE.

HEY GUYS, SORRY I’M LATE.
THIS STUFF, HERE?

YEAH, THAT’S GREAT. THANKS.

LISTEN WILL. YOU KNOW
I’M NO RELATIONSHIP EXPERT,

BUT I REALLY DO THINK YOU TWO
HAVE SOMETHING.

WOULD YOU TOLERATE THAT?

OKAY, FIRST, WE’RE TALKING ABOUT

HANK WHO GETS HIS CLAWS
INTO EVERYTHING.

BUT WOULD YOU TOLERATE
THAT THE DAY AFTER SEX?

IF YOU KNEW EVERYTHING
I’VE PUT UP WITH

OVER THE LAST THREE YEARS
WITH SEAN,

BUT I LOVE HIM.

AND IN THE END,
THE GOOD DOES OUT WEIGH THE BAD.

YEAH, BUT YOU GUYS HAVE HISTORY.
AND THIS IS BRAND NEW.

YOU DON’T THINK HE’S A LITTLE
BIT SCREWED UP IN THE HEAD
FROM RICH DYING?

WE’RE ALL HERE JUST TRYING
TO FUNCTION.

COME ON.

GIVE HIM A LITTLE SLACK.

LOOK. NOT EVERY MISTAKE
THAT EVERYBODY MAKES

IS BECAUSE RICH KILLED HIMSELF.

THERE’S ALSO TWO SIDES
TO EVERY STORY.

YOU TWO ARE GOING
TO WORK THIS OUT.

YOU CALL ME LATER?

YEAH.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE?

UM, JUST THE ONE BOX
IF YOU COULD TAKE IT?

SURE.

THANKS SO MUCH
FOR HELPING OUT TODAY.

I APPRECIATE IT.
NO PROBLEM.

LISTEN, I KNOW THIS ISN’T
THE BEST TIMING,

BUT I WAS WONDERING IF YOU’D
LIKE TO HAVE DINNER WITH ME?

OH TOM, I’M REALLY FLATTERED,

I’M JUST NOT
INTO DATING RIGHT NOW.

YOU’RE NOT INTO DATING
OR YOU’RE NOT INTO ME?

I’M NOT INTO DATING.

LISTEN, I’M A BIG BOY.

YOU CAN TELL ME
IF YOU LIKE SOMEBODY ELSE.

WELL, I DON’T.

REALLY? BECAUSE EVERYONE’S

TALKING ABOUT YOU AND JOSH.

OH, EVERYONE WHO?

EVERYONE.

EVERYONE WE KNOW IS TALKING
ABOUT YOU AND JOSH.

WELL THERE’S NOTHING GOING ON
BETWEEN JOSH AND I.

WHATEVER YOU HEARD,
IT’S JUST NOT TRUE!

ALL WE’RE DOING IS BOXING UP
THIS HOUSE TOGETHER.

THAT’S IT.
YOU’RE SURE?

LOOK. WHATEVER YOU HEARD,

IT’S A RUMOR.

OKAY. SO NO CHANCE?

TOM, I HAVE A LOT ON MY PLATE
RIGHT NOW. OKAY?

OKAY.

NICE HAT.

THANKS.

THAT’S NEVER LOOKED GOOD ON ME.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL DAY?

I UMM,
HEARD WHAT YOU SAID TODAY.

HEARD ME SAY WHAT?

TO TOM.

TELLING HIM YOU THOUGHT THERE
WAS NOTHING HERE BETWEEN US.

YEAH, WELL MAYBE
WHAT WE SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT

IS HOW YOU LET HANK BLOW YOU.

LISTEN, HE TRIED

BUT NOTHING HAPPENED.

NOTHING HAPPENED!

THAN WHY WOULD HANK
LIE ABOUT THAT?

BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE
JUST AREN’T HAPPY

UNLESS EVERYONE ELSE
AROUND THEM IS MISERABLE.

I WANT TO BELIEVE YOU.

I DO.

THAN BELIEVE ME,
BECAUSE IT’S TRUE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

YOU SHOULD LEAVE.

YOU CAN’T TELL ME
YOU DON’T WANT TO DO THIS!

ACTUALLY I CAN.
YOU NEED TO LEAVE.

I’M NOT LEAVING!
FINE, THEN I WILL.

AND WHEN I COME BACK
YOU BEST BE GONE.

I FEEL SICK.

I HAVE TO CLEAR MY HEAD.

WHY WOULD I LIE
ABOUT THIS WILL?

I DON’T KNOW.

NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORE.

IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE
TO ME EITHER.

BUT WE CAN
WORK THIS OUT TOGETHER.

THAT’S THE THING WITH US,
THE TIMING IS NEVER RIGHT.

IT HASN’T BEEN RIGHT BEFORE,
IT’S NOT RIGHT NOW.

THAT’S BULLSHIT WILL.
TIMING.

TIMING IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT.

YOU HAVE A CHOICE
TO BE HAPPY WILL.

I WANT TO BE HAPPY, I DO.

THAN CHOOSE IT,

BUT YOU’VE GOT TO MEET ME
HALF WAY.

WE HAVE SOMETHING SO SPECIAL,

BUT YOU’VE GOT TO WANT IT.

PLEASE.

LIFE IS A SERIES OF CHOICES.

AND I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY.