Sahara (2017) - full transcript

[wind blows]

[camel bellows]

[bellows]

Hey.

[grumbles]

Get ready. The storm will be over soon.

I don't feel good about this.
It's a lousy plan.

Okay, grab it.

[grunts]

[bellows]

- What's the matter with him?
- He's nervous.



- Shh. Hey.
- [bellows]

Hey, easy.

Whoa. Hey.

- Easy.
- [grunts]

- Yeah!
- I'm all right!

[bellowing]

[grunts with effort]

Told you. We're not big enough.

Hang on.

- [bellows loudly]
- [screams]

- [snake] We did it.
- [scorpion] Yeah, 46th time's the charm.

[sighs] Can't you just enjoy it for once?

- [polishing]
- [sighs]

Oh, so sweet of you.



[gulps]

There's two ways
we can handle this situation:

the cool one, or the uncool one.

Uh, c-c-cool way's good, right, Ajar?

- Don't come any closer.
- Or what?

Don't answer that. It's a trick question.

Baby skin, baby sting.

[popping]

- Oh, not again.
- [big snake laughs]

I hate when this happens.

You guys really suit each other.

The big, bad bedwetters.

[laughs]

If you want this watermelon,
it'll be over my dead body.

Okay.

And stay down!

[rap music plays]

- [belches]
- George, why are you--?

- [growls] Go away!
- Hey!

- Move it!
- I was here first!

- [big snake] So, girls, who's the man?
- Hide!

Come and get it. Any time, ladies.

- [girls giggle]
- [sighs]

[snake] All right, come on.

Come on. Kiddies, lighten up.
I brought some for everyone.

You're wimpy bedwetters
but we still like you. [clicks]

Hey, guys, give our good friends here
Ajar and Pitt their share.

Oh, no.

[all inhale]

[rapid spitting]

[both grunt]

[whimpers]

[laughs]

Leave them alone.
They're so little and cute.

I'm not little!

- And we're not cute!
- [all laugh]

- Could have been worse.
- Oh, yeah? How?

They didn't beat us up this time.

I can't stand this anymore. I'm leaving.

Oh, yeah? Where are you gonna go?

You're kidding, right?

Oh, he's not kidding. Oh, boy.

Should I remind you
what happened to those who tried?

Or maybe bring you their skulls?
Green snakes, us, okay?

- We don't belong over there.
- We don't belong over here either.

Come on, we're losers.

No, no. Losers make fun of us.

- We don't have anyone but each other.
- No, no, don't do that.

- Wait. What is that?
- What?

- [bird squawks]
- [gasps]

[both gasp]

Let me go! [shouts]

You're hurting me! Let me go!

- [Ajar] Wow.
- Huh? You see? You see?

You can't get in
and you can't even get out.

Hey, you saw that, right?

You got that?

- Hello?
- Did you see that girl?

- We can't not go in there.
- Oh, boy.

[♪ "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow
Polka Dot Bikini" by Brian Hyland]

♪ She was afraid
to come out of the locker ♪

♪ She was as nervous
as she could be ♪

[girl snake] You're hurting me!

[grunting]

Put me down!

I'm sorry to bother you, sir,
but she was heading towards the desert.

- Well, thank you, Chief Chief.
- No big deal.

This pretty green in the sand,
I can spot it from miles away.

Hey, don't you have an oasis to watch?

Yes, sir. I'll leave you with your family.

And sorry for the inconvenience.

How many times do I have to tell you?
It's dangerous over there.

What do you expect to find anyway?

What are you gonna do
if you come across a Dustie, huh?

- Oh, yeah, yeah, go ahead, play deaf.
- Yeah, yeah.

Do you know
what those ugly snakes are like?

Beggars, thieves, liars!
They don't even wash, for Pete's sake!

No water. Hello?

I'm pretty sure they eat their own poop
and marry their children.

- Or maybe it's the other way around.
- Are you actually saying that?

Are you even aware of how lucky you are
to have been born here?

You've got everything.

- Security, a future.
- What future?

Sit around a stone all day
playing dead like you?

Okay, that's enough, young lady.
We're having the Spencers over for dinner.

You know, the ones
with the big south-facing stone.

I can't even imagine
what they paid for it.

Anyway, they're coming
with their son John-John.

- A really nice chap.
- What do you think?

That you can sell me
like it's the Middle Ages?

That's disgusting!

I can't stand this place anymore!
I feel sick!

I'm suffocating here!

- [sobs]
- Mm.

Oh, my God, you're crying.

What happened?
Did you mess up your makeup?

- [growls]
- Hey! No touchy.

Ah, teenagers.

So annoying, right?

- Okay. See you later, guys.
- Oh, uh, you're going out again?

- Yeah. The guys are waiting for me.
- And, uh, what are you gonna do?

Hm.

The usual: nothing.

Gary, won't you at least take off the wig?
I mean, really, it's been a--

Yeah, yeah.
Love you, too, Dad. See ya.

How did we end up with those kids?

Hmm?

Would you be a sweetheart
and go get me a nice pillow?

[sighs]

- [water running]
- [birds chirping]

[whimpers]

[hums]

Huh?

Hm.

[grunts]

Ha ha!

[scorpion] Have you lost your mind?

Well, the oasis belongs
to the green snakes, right?

I'm not planning on dying with you,
you know?

- You don't have to come with me.
- And you're not gonna make me.

No one is ever gonna make me!

All right, come on, wait for me!
Let's go die together!

Just a little reminder for later,

this is when it all started
to go down in flames.

Right this second.

- [whooshing above]
- Hide.

- What?
- Hide!

[gasps]

[wings flapping]

You're not in a secure zone, sir.

- Are you lost?
- Uh, no.

No. Well, yes, actually. I don't know.

It's extremely dangerous around here, sir.
You're at the border.

I'm afraid you can't stay here.

Dusties, they're not kidding, you know?

- Of course, yeah. I didn't know.
- Wha--?

You put yourself in peril,
you're putting me in peril.

You wouldn't want to put me in peril now,
would you? Hm?

No, no. Not at all. Absolutely.

All right, so you're gonna go slither
a little more over that way, please.

Thank you, officer.

[wings flap]

Come on.

[gasping]

[birds call]

[gasps]

Wow!

Dusties! Alert!

We're gonna die!
We're gonna die! We're gonna die!

Stop running around.
You're gonna get us noticed.

Stop! We're not the ones they're after.

[whimpering frantically]

Pitt!

[whooshes]

[panting]

Pitt, you there?

- Pitt?
- [rustling]

[gasps]

Please don't say anything.

You--You're a Dustie?

Really? I mean, yeah, of course, I am.

But I've never seen you--

I mean, of course I haven't,
obviously, because I live here.

I've never been over there,
where you live.

Are you new here?

- How did you know?
- I don't.

[whooshing overhead]

I gotta get out of here.
They're gonna kill me!

Out? Which way? I don't even know--

I mean, sure, I know, but I...

Watch out!

[grunts]

[shouts]

[thudding]

[snores]

Next time, watch where you're going,
you big lump!

Ajar? Ajar?

[both exclaim]

[both pant]

[stone splashes]

Step aside, sir.

Don't worry, everything's under control.

- I'm Eva.
- I, uh... Ajar.

Okay, Ajar. Follow me!

- [Ajar screams]
- Hm?

[smacks]

Ooh. Ouch!

[gasping]

You can't swim? How come you can't swim?

How come you can swim?

Ajar!

Look out!

[garbled]

[Ajar gasps]

[coughs]

[gulps air, coughs]

What were you doing in the oasis?

You're a Dustie.
That's why you can't swim.

Did you wanna steal something
or kill someone?

- You're not gonna kill me, right?
- Hey, stop.

Calm down. I'm not gonna hurt you.

I...

I just...
I just wanted to come and live here.

The oasis? It's like the worst place ever.

It's ridiculously small,

you just keep seeing
the same boring people

who are only worried
about protecting their things.

It's-- It's like being in jail.

Look, I'm not going back there.

I'd like to go further, you know,
find out what's beyond these rocks.

I can't believe
I'm actually talking to a Dustie.

I thought you'd be more impressive
or something.

[Pitt splashes, coughs]

Don't need any help here!

[coughing]

- Is it true you eat your own poop?
- What? No way!

I mean, unless we're--

- So, who's the girl?
- Eva. Nice to meet you.

No trace of them, Chief Chief.
They probably drowned.

Okay. Go back to the station.
I'll take a last look around.

They lost us.

- Are you coming?
- Hm?

You-- You want me to come with you?

[laughs]

Are you afraid of freedom?

- [gasps]
- Eva!

[coughs, groans]

Mm.

Ahh!

No!

[shrieks]

[camel bellows]

- Ajar, don't!
- Ajar! Help me!

I'm coming, Eva! I'm coming!

Ajar!

[grunting]

[Pitt and Ajar shriek]

[grunts]

[screams] No!

[snoring]

[muttering]

[Ajar grunts]

All right.
I believe you know why you're here.

- Because you're jerks?
- We'll do the talking.

You're here because you shouldn't be here.

[laughing]

- [laughs nervously]
- And why shouldn't you be here?

- 'Cause we're Dusties.
- Exactly.

Now you seem like you're a nice kid,
but we have a problem.

- You got in illegally.
- It was a mistake.

We won't do it again, ever. Right, Ajar?

We can't let you go.

We let one go, then everyone else thinks
they got a shot.

You understand this, don't you?

[gulps]

If anything happens to her,
I swear, I'll-I'll--

Kill them.

[whimpering]

[shrieks]

Pitt!

We don't really like your kind
around here.

Let me go!

- Ajar!
- You were saying?

[laughs]

[shrieking]

[Ajar] Let him go!

- Hey, could you turn it down a notch?
- [Ajar] Put me down!

My head is literally ringing over here.
Thanks.

You should go easy on the pollen, sir.

Now please go sit over there and
I'll talk to your dad in a minute.

What? No.

Hey, I didn't take any pollen, sir.
No way.

I mean, you know me. Come on.

[laughs]

Go back to the tank, please, sir.

You don't want to see
what's gonna happen here.

Yeah, well, don't go blabbing
about pollen around my dad, okay?

I think it's better if we kept it secret.

[garbled]

- What's he saying?
- I don't know.

I think he said, "Let's order pizza."

Let us go or I'll kill him.

- Huh?
- [grunts]

- Oh, yeah. That makes more sense.
- Don't try anything.

- Sergeant, don't move.
- There. Yeah, you see? Listen to him.

Hey, you're not really my style, bro.

Hm?

- Pitt, get on his back.
- [whimpers]

Now if you follow us, he's dead meat.
You got that?

You do what you're told or he's dead. Go!

[sergeant exclaims]

[Ajar] Now go up!

No, no, higher, higher.

Yeah. Go!

- What do we do, Chief Chief?
- Catch them.

And bring that freak back alive.

The sergeant?

No, the worm with the rug.

- [sergeant] Oh!
- Keep flying.

They're after us!

[Ajar] Keep going. Keep going.

- Pitt, throw something at 'em!
- What do you want me to throw?

Hey, my wig! Are you crazy?

[grunts]

It's the symbol of my individuality
and my belief in personal freedom.

[all yelling]

Ajar, flip the bird!

[Ajar] Hang on!

[all] Whoa!

[distorted]

[Gary laughs]

Whoa, you sure showed them.

Hey, just drop me off over there
by the palm tree.

No way. We gotta save Eva.

- Huh?
- I beg your pardon?

Eva? Like, my sister? What?

We're her only hope.

You don't even know her!

If you guys are, like, talking about
my sister, let it go, seriously.

[Pitt] Did you hear that?
She's this guy's sister!

[Gary] There, another palm tree,
that'll be fine.

Ajar, we never do anything right.

She'd probably have a better chance
without us.

[agreeing]

I hate doing this,
but do you have any idea who my father is?

- No.
- Really? You don't know?

What if I tell you he's the richest,
most powerful snake in the oasis?

- What if I told you I don't care?
- [stutters]

I'm hesitating between
you're either super brave or totally dumb.

[Pitt] We're toast!

[soft clattering]

[gasps]

[woman] All right, people.
Everyone in place now.

Kick it up a notch. No pain, no gain.

And bend and snap, and bend and snap.
And suck it in, big girl.

- Hey, the new girl's up.
- Hm?

Welcome! We're so happy to meet you.

- I'm Lily Belle.
- I'm Lulu Belle.

- We're twin sisters.
- We're twin sisters.

- We're both Geminis.
- We're both Geminis.

Hmm, you've got potential, girl.

I feel like you're a bit
on the chubby side.

Better get into some Pilates for a while.

I'm sorry, what?

You think that just anybody
can get into Miss Rita's ballet company?

- Oh, so it's "Miss Rita's ballet company".
- Precisely.

Who made dancers out of you?
Who taught you everything?

Him?

Him is the He-who-must-not-be-named.

- Yeah, you can't say "Omar" or--
- You just said it.

- What did just I say?
- You said what we're not supposed to say.

- You said, "Omar."
- [gasps] You just said it!

- What? I didn't say Omar. You said Omar.
- You just said it again!

I'm Pietra.
The company has one prima ballerina.

- [Lily] You just said it again.
- Me.

Keep that in mind
and everything will be just fine.

No, everything will not be just fine.

It's a mistake. I shouldn't be here.

I was just slithering by and I...
I can't even dance!

[laughter]

[laughing]

Hello. Everything is going to be fine.

George is here.

- Who?
- George.

The George. Me.
[chuckles]

Is this your first tour?
Don't answer. It's obvious.

So fresh, so pure.

[laughs]

She's adorable.

I see great things for you, for us.

Do you... [sniffs]
feel it?

That chemistry between us?

Oh, what is happening to us?

- [smacks]
- A wild one. I love it.

Huh.

Oh, chill out, I was just kidding.

Girls, really.

Don't worry, you're not that fat.

Check this out.

When you get hungry, you do this and poof!

- You're not hungry anymore.
- You're one of us now.

[both chant] One of us! One of us!

One of us! One of us! One of us!

You guys see this?

- It's...
- High.

Flat.

[Ajar] It's beautiful.

This is a once in a lifetime experience.

[Pitt] Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.

Wow, funny skin.

- It's a Dustie skin.
- [laughs] Oh, yeah?

- It looks more like you haven't--
- There!

- That way!
- [all exclaim]

[Ajar] Pitt!

- What do you think you're doing?
- I'm not gonna let you murder us!

[both grunting]

[all shout]

- [screams]
- Pitt!

- [popping]
- [groans]

- Oh, great.
- [sergeant snoring]

What's with him?

- He's asleep.
- [Pitt] Oops.

[Gary] Now? Really?

[pops] Sorry, my bad.

[Pitt] No, no!

[all scream]

[Pitt grunts]

[grunts, shouts]

[rumbling]

[sergeant snores]

Okay, definitely not super brave.

Super crazy.

- You almost got us killed!
- I said I was sorry!

How are we ever gonna find Eva now?

[Pitt] Dude, let it go already.

- The girl's off limits anyway.
- [Ajar] Oh, yeah?

- Why'd she kiss me?
- I don't know.

You were the exotic tourist.
The kind you forget right away.

Okay. I'm kinda bored right now.

You don't need a hostage anymore,

and my sister's obviously safe
with you two.

I'm gonna leave now, okay?

Yeah, okay, bye.
We have places we need to go.

[groans]

[whimpers softly, snores]

Come on, up.

Up.

Dustie, dead ahead.

[whimpers]

Lunch break.

[giggles]

[mutters] You're here
because you shouldn't be here.

Great. Just great.

Hey, geniuses!

Batman? Robin?

Okay, so who's Batman?
And who does Robin?

I'm Gary.

[Gary] So you guys are, like, buddies?
That's weird.

A snake and a scorpion?

I mean, I say that
but nothing ever really shocks me.

My friend Peter once dated a frog, so...

Does he ever shut up?

- [Gary] ...the desert is super dangerous?
- [sighs]

They even blow things up out there,
just for the fun of it.

[grunts]

You should save some saliva, you know?
Desert and all.

Okay, do I need to remind you two

that if you had dropped me off
like I told you to, we--

Shut up!

[echoes]

Ever hear of non-aggressive
verbal communication?

Guess not. Okay, I'll shut up.

Are you sure this is the right way?

I can't really imagine a whole camelcade
going through here.

[Ajar] Exactly. They have to go around it.

But we can go through it
and beat them to the other side.

I know! We can do like Tuaregs
and follow that bright star.

What about that cluster over there? See?

The one that looks like
a weird-shaped goat.

[laughs]
I see two weird goats down here.

I mean, seriously, you guys don't
even know how to get out of a maze?

Everyone knows how to do that.

All you have to do
is keep going in the same direction.

Left.

Left.

Left.

Left again.

And...

Uh. Mm?

[Ajar] Okay, so, goat.

Wait. It wasn't the right left.

[Gary] Left.

Left.

Again?

Left.

Hey, Leftie, you all right in there?
Hey!

Gary, where are you?

- Say something!
- [Gary in distance] Here!

Gary?

Gary, where are you?

[screams]

[both grunt]

Fantastic.

How are you ever gonna get me
out of here now?

Why didn't you warn us?

Hey, you're the rescuers here, I believe.

[groans]

Okay. So now what?

Well, we only have one choice.

[Pietra] ...don't forget the grand finale.

Flower, seahorse, flower, butterfly.

- [George] So... [laughs]
- [gasps]

- [Lulu] Oh, I love your voice.
- Okay, enough babbling. It's time.

Time? Time for what?

[Lulu and Lily giggle]

- [creaking]
- Huh?

- [gasps]
- [Lulu and Lily giggle]

I can't tell you to break a leg, right?

[laughs]

Come here now. Watch and learn.

Okay, um... just a sec.

Snakes.

Lords of the desert for millennia,

sons of the sun.

- [giggles]
- Beautiful for some,

terrifying for others.

But there lies a power
that masters their souls.

Carved in the vertebra of a Seba python,
by a voodoo master from Benin

- thousands of years ago.
- Uh-uh.

Dad!

The flute of Kpassenou.

[plays]

[Pietra] You, stop! Freeze!

Do you want to end up as a belt?
Get down, now!

[gasps]

[grunts]

[hypnotic music plays]

[beeping]

[music stops]

Wow, was that your first time?

Your very first time.

- Oh, your voice is just so beautiful.
- Yours is.

- Oh, my goodness.
- [Pietra] That was terrible.

Dance is not just undulating around.

Everyone, lights out! And you, watch it!

[groans]

What just happened there?
It was-- It was stronger than me.

That music, I couldn't fight it.

And you even loved it, didn't you?

You're done, girl,
just like the rest of us.

[sighs]

I don't know about you
but I'd love a little break,

like, a pollen break.

Do you guys have some?

Really?

Come on. I'm sure it's pollen land
where you're from.

You know I'm right.

Oh!

Awkward contact. No touchy.

Shh!

Hm?

[all gasp]

[Ajar] Hm?

Wow!

[all sing] ♪ Light
We are light ♪

♪ You are light
We are all light ♪

Great. Bugs.

[bug] Welcome, strangers.
May the light be with you.

How may we enlighten you?

Well, we're trying to reach the west end.

[scoffs]
The west end, we're frickin' lost.

Would you happen to have seen
a camelcade around here?

The camelcade path, very simple.

All you need to do
is follow the Pole Star.

[laughs]

These guys were following a goat.
Can you believe that?

[scoffs] Thanks,
Mr. "Left, left, ooh, a hole."

Well, at least I wasn't following a goat.
[laughs]

Just sit back and watch.

People, lights!

[singing]

[bug] Let's start
with this long string of stars.

This is our galaxy.

- [both gasp]
- The Milky Way.

There, you can spot the W of Cassiopeia,

and right there on the side
is the upside down house of Cepheus.

The constellation is very visible...

Hey, you know where
we can score some pollen around here?

[all mutter]

Okay, never mind.

And watch the drooling, buddy.
It's kinda gross.

Here, we come to Ursa Minor.

See this star at the end,
brighter than the others?

That's the Pole Star,
also known as the North Star.

This is great!

[yawns]

Yeah, super amazing.

Surely you'll join us
for our humble dinner.

Well, we're kind of in a rush, but sure.
It's very nice of you.

Marvelous. [giggles]

Let's start with the welcoming song.

[all] ♪ Thank you, strangers ♪

♪ We will always keep
A sweet reminder of you ♪

♪ Deep inside our tummies ♪

♪ Illuminated by your delicious limbs ♪

[stammers]

- We're gonna go.
- Yeah, let's go.

Hey, I know these primitive peoples.

They took us in. They're gonna feel hurt.

Hey, we're gonna feel hurt!
We're the dinner, peanut brain!

- So paranoid.
- [bugs giggling]

- So scorpion.
- [bugs clap]

- What?
- [bug] Yummy. I can't wait to eat.

[Ajar] Quick, get out!

[bug] Tasty.

[giggles]

You know who my dad is, right?

[yells]

There!

Pitt, use your claws!

[giggles]

Ajar, if you're gonna do something,
now's the time!

All right, don't move!

Okay, I'll stick around.

[bugs shriek]

- The punishing light! No!
- No!

- No, no!
- Punishing light!

[grunting]

[whimpering]

- [groans]
- [thuds]

[Ajar pants]

We made it. We're on the other side.

Look.

You see?
We just have to follow their tracks.

Let's go.

Oh, please.

I guess it's super sad about my sister,
but, honestly, she's probably been eaten

by one of your hungry desert buddies
by now.

Wow.

Listen, Ajar,
I don't like agreeing with him,

but he's got a point.

Thank you, Batman!

Robin?

I just wish I could do one thing right
for a change.

Are you insane?
A Dustie in love with my sister?

I mean, besides, look at your skin.
You haven't even shed yet.

You have a better chance
of dying in-in-in this place

than anything ever happening
between the two of you two.

Hello? Wake up!

Come on!

Well, I guess you're gonna need someone
to write your will.

No way! Are you kidding me?

[screams] No!

I don't know if you're aware of this,
but it's all just sand around here.

[Ajar] Welcome to the desert.

[soft pop music plays]

♪ Well, I knew
what I didn't want to know ♪

♪ And I saw ♪

♪ Where I didn't want to go ♪

♪ So I took the path ♪

♪ Less traveled on ♪

♪ And I'll let my stories ♪

♪ Be whispered when I'm gone ♪

♪ When I'm gone ♪

♪ When I'm gone ♪

♪ When I'm gone ♪

♪ Well, in this life you must find
something to live for ♪

♪ 'Cause when the darkness
comes a'callin' ♪

♪ You go back to where you were before ♪

♪ 'Cause this life
is as fragile as a dream ♪

♪ And nothing's ever really ♪

♪ As it seems ♪

♪ As it seems ♪

♪ As it seems ♪

♪ As it seems ♪

♪ Well, I lost my innocence ♪

♪ When in I let him dive ♪

♪ But the way that he looked at me ♪

♪ Made me feel alive ♪

♪ And now I know ♪

♪ Nothing at all ♪

♪ But the release that comes when you're ♪

♪ In mid-fall ♪

♪ In mid-fall ♪

♪ In mid-fall ♪

♪ In mid-fall ♪

♪ As it seems ♪

[all groaning]

Oh! Oh.

Pollen. [pants]

Just a couple of grains.

[panting]
Two. Three.

[sniffs]

[coughs]

I'm not gonna make it.
Tell my father I...

Well, we all die someday.

Huh?

[whimpers]

[wind blows]

Oh, no! They did it! They actually did it!

They blew up their bomb!

A curse on both your houses!

[Pitt] Psst. Hey!

- Shh!
- [Gary sobs]

Shut up!

- [woman] Honey, what are you doing?
- I'm just enjoying the view.

- Huh?
- Huh?

- Uh, he's not really gonna--?
- He is.

- [splashing]
- [man] Oh, that was gorgeous.

That was... ew!

You wanna see more of that?
Are you into this somehow?

[woman] Come on, honey,
there's fresh water in the car.

- [man] Ho ho, say "cheese."
- Oh, no, please, I look awful.

You look great.

[radio starts]

All right! Let's go, my friends.

[upbeat music plays]

- [laughs]
- [engine starts]

[gulps]

Where did I leave my keys?

[Gary sniffs]

[gasps] Whoa!

Pollen.

- No, Gary, don't move!
- My precious.

[inhales deeply]

[moans]

[driver] Uh-oh, folks.

Seems like we invited a little snake
into the car.

- [both shriek]
- [driver laughs]

Don't panic. Just lift up your feet.

- [moans]
- [shrieking]

Oh, you're a bad little snake.
You're a...

Gary, quick, get out!

[driver] Careful, my friends, don't move.

Okay, everybody, now just relax.

- [driver] Now there's a cobra.
- [screams]

Come back here!

Got him! How exciting!

- Pitt!
- He hasn't even shed his skin yet.

[all yell]

[panting]

[coughs] I can't.

[Gary moans]

Whoa!

Don't be such a drama queen.
He's tough.

He'll just put everyone to sleep with
that little stingy thing he does so well.

- This is all your fault!
- True that.

Since the beginning, you've been nothing
but a giant pain in the tail!

It's true. I wasn't very helpful.

And now my best--
my only friend is getting crushed.

Yeah, probably.

Can you stop that agreeing thing
you've got going on?

It's really annoying.

Okay, sorry.

Ahem.

What? How was that my fault?

Who wanted to play knight in shining armor
with my sister?

- I'm gonna kill you!
- You're just saying that.

Hey! Watch it, okay?

I'm pretty well trained in kung fu
so you don't wanna get me mad.

- [smacks]
- [groans]

Dragon tail.

So, have you learned your lesson?
You've had enough?

We've gotta find that camelcade.
That's our only clue so far.

We get Eva,
but we don't go home without Pitt.

"We get Eva,
but we don't go home without Pitt."

[radio static]

[music plays]

Flower, George, flower.

Yes, just like that.

Eva, good move.

Butterfly, seahorse.
Again. Let's sweat it out.

It took me 20 years to get it right.

Twenty years?

You've been locked up in here
for 20 years?

Yes, my dear.
Dance is a demanding art form.

- What about you?
- Me?

- It's my 11th year of success.
- Eleven?

This can't be.

Oh, these kids.

They think everything should be
handed to them on a silver platter.

[George laughs]

- I understand, you know.
- Please, I need to be alone right now.

Try to overlook my very good looks,
my irresistible charm.

I'm not just a swift-tailed
string of muscles.

I'm a snake like you.
with a heart like yours.

- [gasps]
- Can you hear it?

Boom, boom, boom, boom.
It knows what you feel.

The uprooting,
the solitude, the confinement.

That's the price we pay
for the life we chose.

- I didn't choose this.
- Even better. It chose you.

Destiny brought us together.

Ha ha! It's fate.

[camels bellow]

[Rita] No one is going
to come rescue you, sweetie.

And all around us,
it's pretty much just sand and death.

But, if you still want to escape,
I know a way.

You really want me out of here, don't you?

Sooner or later, Omar is going to make us
dance against each other.

I'd just rather skip that part.

[Eva gasps]

All you have to do is drop onto the sand
without a sound.

It's daytime.
He has no reason to be playing his flute.

No one's going to see you.

You just go and you're free.

You did this?

There was a time when I too thought

the sand was shinier
on the other side of the rock.

But it's all just sand.

- [Eva] Thank you for-- Oh.
- [Rita] Go.

Just what do you think you're doing?
It ain't strolling time, miss.

Well, actually, there's been a mistake.
See, I shouldn't be here.

- [laughs nervously]
- Hey, Jerry.

[laughs]

"I shouldn't be here."

[both laugh]

They're all the same!

[camel #1] Back inside.

[grunts] Huh?

- Oh, will you just go away?
- [Eva] Stop!

[screams]

We got a wild one! Escape alert!

She's getting away!

[exclaims]

[bellowing]

[gasps]

[moaning]

- Hmm.
- [gasps]

What is this?

Snakes who'll end up as belts
or designer shoes.

Oh, my God. That's horrible.

I have a better idea.

I should've let you finish me off,
now that I think about it.

Plus you'd feel really bad right now.

So you actually have two modes, huh?

Crazy angry wrestler or silent antisocial.

So sophisticated.

- Whoa!
- Hey!

Move over! Dibs!

- [both gasp]
- Wha--?

What is that?

Uh... Hi.

Would you by any chance know where
we could find water or shade around here?

[yells]

[Gary] Wha--?

Ask him if he ran into a camelcade.

Why don't you ask him?

I don't talk to stuff I don't know.

[sighs]

Pardon me, sir.

You wouldn't have come across
a camelcade by any chance?

[gulps]

You mean a camelcade
heading towards Souksoukville with men,

one of whom traveled with two hampers

from which a green snake
was dangling, attempting to escape?

Yes! Yes, that's it.

Hmm.

- Nah. Doesn't ring a bell.
- What? How's that possible?

Which way is Soukso--
whatever its name is?

[grumbles]

I'm sorry. You were mentioning
a certain city, I believe?

Souksoukville?

A little city from the 15th century
protected by 18-foot fortifications

with a network of streets
that's been classified as UNESCO's--

- Yes, yes. Where is it?
- Nah. Never heard of it.

Wait! Wait!

Come back!

[Ajar groans loudly]

Well, at least we're slithering
in the right direction.

Oh, yeah? So where's Souksoukville?

Oh, you're such a
"the glass is half-empty" kind of guy.

So scorpion.

You've hung out
with that doofus for too long.

Don't you ever talk about Pitt like that.

There you go again.

[grunts]

- [growls]
- [Gary pants]

There, an oasis!

Yeah, right. I'm not falling for that.

- I swear! There!
- Huh?

[water gurgling]

[grunts]

[laughs]

See? Right direction.

- We gotta get going.
- Oh, come on!

Five more minutes.
Look at all these blisters.

I can't possibly make another move.

Okay, we'll spend the night here.

- We need to regain our strength.
- Really?

Yay!

Whoo-hoo!

[camels huff]

[men chatter in distance]

[gentle huffing]

Shh!

[Omar] The desert is ruthless.

Even to its own children.

Eat or be eaten.

Sometimes it's a place for many.

Other times, only one can survive.

[dance music plays]

♪ Writing a session to reach my goal ♪

♪ I'm on a mission and I face the law ♪

♪ Hope to grab that delicious soul ♪

♪ Gonna chew it 'til the break of dawn ♪

♪ Feelin' all right to get the big prize ♪

♪ And breakin' legs, tellin' lies ♪

♪ It's a well-known trick
before the money rises ♪

♪ Watch out
Euphoria ♪

[song continues]

♪ Hear the nations tearing up the world ♪

♪ Your imagination
is your greatest pearl ♪

♪ Out of 100 tricks and time to pay back ♪

♪ Winner takes it all
I won't lose that fight ♪

♪ Come back, call out,
make my people shout ♪

♪ From dust to dust ♪

♪ Here's my masterpiece ♪

♪ And soon the dawn will come ♪

[song continues]

[pants]

[Pitt coughing]

[skittering]

Hm.

Ah, a real bed.

[muttering]

[man] Come on, troopers!
Only eight hours left to get there!

You're gonna have the opportunity
of seeing an Australopithecus skull.

- And they named her Lucy.
- It's just a pile of bones.

- Thousands of years old bones.
- Okay, so old bones.

When I think about all my girlfriends
at the Death Sting concert,

just how did I end up here?

Maybe we should take a break, honey.
It looks really fine right here.

[shrieks] Something moved!
The shoe, it moved.

It could be a mongoose or a gerbil.
Everyone, get behind me.

Hey, you in there! Get out of there!

See? You overreacted again, honey.

You keep making a fool of yourself.

Good evening, sir.

Would you mind if we rested
in your humble home for the night?

[stammers] Uh, I...

[shivering]

I can't feel my tail. This is the end.

I don't blame you. Well, maybe I do.

Bury yourself in the sand,
that'll make you feel warm.

Yeah.

Ahh.

- What are you thinking about?
- Pitt.

And Eva.

We may never see 'em again.

Well, you can thank life for that.

I'm sorry, what?

Well, at least you've had that, a friend.

About my sister, I still think
you're better off without her, but--

Wait. You don't have a friend?

What? Of course I have friends. Tons!

I mean, do you know who my father is?

- You know.
- [sighs]

You never told me,
how did you and Pitt meet?

- His family was killed by the Tuaregs.
- Oh.

- Barbecue? Keychain?
- We never knew.

He got away, God knows how,
and he ended up in the suburbs with us.

Two losers among losers.
We hit it off right away.

Yeah, kinda like us.
I mean, except I'm not a loser, of course.

You think Eva...?

I mean, do you think
I stand a chance with her?

I know we were only together
a few minutes

but I thought I felt something there.

[snoring] Oh, pollen.

- [Ajar sighs]
- Oh, precious.

[sucks tail]

And then, I ran into Gary,
and using just my claws,

I freed him from the atrocious mucus
while Ajar was just--

What?

You are so brave.

Really? Well, I... Huh.

[mother] Why don't you
come with us, sweetie?

Oh, that's really nice of you, but Ajar...

You're a scorpion.
You belong with scorpions.

Leave him alone, you guys.

Can't you see
he's gotta go find his friend?

Ew, that was so dripping with love.

- What?
- [heaves]

No way. Shut up, you little dung beetle.

[car engine starts]

Okay, let's get going so we can reach
Souksoukville before the storm.

You'll get to see the Tuaregs
and their show with the dancing snakes.

- Huh?
- You don't want to miss that, believe me.

[sighs]

[yawns]

[sighs]

Where did he fall this time?

Gary, where on earth are you?

If you got yourself into another hole,
I'm gonna--

[Gary from below] Over here!

[water rushing]

Check it out! It's a fogara!

Kinda like an underground river.

- Fascinating.
- Don't you get it?

These things bring water
to villages, cities.

Like Souksoukville, for instance.

We get in, take a ride, and there we are.

Uh, no.

- We'd better stick with the surface.
- Oh, it's gonna take days.

We're not even sure that foga-thing
goes to Souksoukville.

Well, it goes somewhere.

Listen, I can't swim, okay?

Hm?

I live in the desert.
We don't do a lot of surfing over here.

[wind blowing]

Well, looks like we'll die
in the storm anyway.

Besides, I-- Wait, what?

Ready?

I can't believe the last thing
I'll ever see is your face.

I take that as a yes.

[laughing]

[Gary] Whoo-hoo!

[pants]

- Oh, boy.
- Look out.

[screaming]

- [Gary] Swim!
- [Ajar] I'm trying!

[♪ "Blue Tail Fly" by Burl Ives]

♪ When I was young, I used to wait ♪

♪ On my master and give him his plate ♪

♪ And pass him the bottle
when he got dry ♪

♪ And brush away the blue tail fly ♪

♪ Jimmy, crack corn, I don't care ♪

- [hums]
- [sharpens blade]

[gasps]

[water bubbles]

[bellows]

[drinking]

[shouts]

[groans, coughs]

[rumbles]

[gasps, coughs]

[pounding]

[wind blows]

Come inside!

Huh? Oh.

[grunts]

Okay, we've gotta find the man
who kidnapped Eva.

- Uh, Omar?
- I don't know his name.

Tall, skinny, scary-faced?

- His shop is that way.
- Huh?

[Ajar] That's him.

Let's use the rooftops. It's safer.

Ohh.

What?

- [sniffs]
- [moans]

[moans]

[grunts]

- What are you doing?
- Nothing.

Look, Eva. Shh.

Let me speak.

I understand why you and I
will never be a thing.

It's no problem.

We are all looking
for different things in life.

[gasps]

You'll see, you'll get used to it.

It's not that bad a life.

It's just...

It's not what I imagined my life
would be like.

It never is.

[gasps]

Oh, boy.

Hey, where are you going?

You know what? You're right.

It's not like we crossed a whole desert

and almost died, like, 26 times
in horrifying ways to get here.

So? Are you coming or not?

Have you seen this guy?

You don't stand a chance
with a guy like that.

So out of your league, bro.

- Are you done?
- Well, that depends.

Are you just gonna stand there and whine
or are you gonna save my sister?

[sighs]

Did you put up with me
all those miles for nothing?

Huh, huh? Yeah!

- Ajar?
- No, it's George.

- Oh, it's my brother!
- Your brother's name is Ajar?

[grunts]

- He's her boyfriend?
- That's so romantic.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

She's dating her brother?

[yells]

[Ajar] Wait. Just hold it there.

[Gary yells]

I can't hold on anymore.

[gasps]

[Omar] Who's there?

- [screws clinking]
- Ah.

- [gasps]
- [shouts]

[Omar exclaims]

What have you done?

- Ajar, you came.
- Let's go!

[Omar laughs]
Trying to escape, my cuties?

Do you really think
you can get away from me?

[shouts]

You stupid worm.
You think your venom can hurt me?

Gary! As long as Omar has his flute,
he controls us.

Your venom runs in my veins!

You're mine! [laughs]

[gasps]

No! Ah! Come back!

[shouting]

That belongs to me.

[Ajar] Oops.

- Oops again.
- You're going to pay for this.

You're all going to pay!

- [screams]
- [rips]

Ah!

[Eva] Ajar?

Ajar?

[gasps] Ajar! Oh, no.

[grunts]

Ajar. Are you all right?

- Oh, please, no.
- Breathe.

- [Ajar coughs]
- [gasps]

- Ajar!
- I knew it.

- Oh, sorry.
- Still hurts.

Your skin.

Pretty.

That's gonna be high maintenance.

You-- You crossed the desert for me?

I would have crossed a thousand.

[growls]

- [popping]
- Huh?

- [Omar groans]
- [thuds]

[snoring]

- So, who's the man?
- Pitt!

Oh, buddy, I missed you so much.

Wow.

- Is this new?
- Long story.

- You remember Eva?
- [laughs]

I don't believe
I've met your friend over there.

Yeah. Um...

Ajar, this is Emily.
Emily, this is--

Oh, Pitt told me so much about you.

I mean, the glow worms,
the snake killer birds,

the attack of the mongooses,

the ride on the back of the oryx,
the man-eating lions.

I know about everything.

[laughs]

And knowing Pitt like I do,
I'm sure he was really modest about it.

[Pitt chuckles]

Here we go!

Welcome, my friends,
to our discovery tour of the Sahara.

[upbeat song plays]

By the way, do you dance?

You know, I just love dance.
Ballet, tutus,

all that kind of stuff.

That is so weird.

Because I just love
handsome, super rich heirs!

We were so meant for each other.

You're wondering if Ajar,
and Eva will go back to the oasis,

love each other forever and help everyone
live happily ever after as equals? Hm?

Uh... yeah.

Mm... No idea.

[music]