SOS (1988) - full transcript

Already in the 10th century
our coasts were haunted-

-by active boat people
and that's the way it is ...

[BATTLE SOUNDS]

-Some shrooms?
-No thanks, I've quit.

I eat socially sometimes.

[RADIO VOICE]
The time is 4pm, and here's "Hulan's corner" -

-a show for all you Hawaiian music lovers.

[HAWAIIAN MUSIC]

This was going to Gnesta right, Stickan?
("twig" in Swedish)

-What are you going to do this midsummer?
-I'm going to have Karl Helmer over the weekend.

I'm going out with the boat for a spin.
Bring your kiddo and join.



I would love to do that, but we're
going to mom's for dinner.

Your ex was here. She had
doubleparked, so she left.

-She said that the boy is snotty.
-Hey, Kalle. Are we going to grandma?

Oh no, what a tight squeeze.
If you squeeze in between there ... like so.

The sushi here is very fresh.
I'm insanely fond of sushi.

It's also low in calories, it's time to
start getting into the swimsuit.

You who were born in the archipelago
are tired of fish, aren't you?

-No, I love fish. But do I have to eat with chopsticks?
-Eat with your fingers, like the Japanese do.

-You're not coming to our midsummer party?
-Sorry, I promised to help dad.

There's a full rush on Stråholmen this time
of the year. We'll sell a year worth of fish.

I've been eavesdropping on Kaj a bit.
He and someone named Ture Janzon ...

... he spells Janzon with "z" ...
(more commonly with "s" in Sweden)

They are working on some big project
on Stråholmen with your dad.

On Stråholmen? No no, I would
know that. I talked to Dad yesterday.



Ah, there's Victor.

He is as stingy as he is rich,
so use your charm now girls.

The shoes, Victor.

[LAUGHS]

-This is Krisse.
-Hi, Victor Uggla

And this is the girl with the archipelago's
most beautiful name - Anna Vera.

-It sounds like a show by Evert Taube.
-Yes indeed.

Oj.

Hey, Victor ... we were going have a little bit
of fun with Kaj and Henrik and the boys.

We want to borrow a small thing from you -
well, perhaps not such a small thing ...

-What will the neighbours say?
-The hell with them. Get up, Olle.

OK

Light the kitchen, open the jar
and pour it into the saucepan.

-Arne, I can't ...
-You'll thank me when you've learnt to cook in bad weather.

Be kind, so grandma's don't get upset.

-I want to ride at the back of a truck again.
-Has Karl Helmer ridden a truck bed?

-We took a little trip from work.
-To Gnesta.

-So that's why you got here so late?
-We took a taxi back for 500SEK.

What a fantasy kids have.

Half past five I'll start the potatoes,
so you'll have to be here exactly six.

It will be roast and rice à la Malta,
that you like so much.

Don't drink too much wine.

-What was it you're gonna do?
-It's someone masquerade.

[BICYCLE BELL]

Ta da!

-Superman?
-Yes. A little tight perhaps, but pleasant.

Come in.

I rented this for you.

Huh? Would you rather be Superman?

No, this looks fine.

-Who is coming?
-It's mostly advertising people.

And a nice girl named Krisse.
But you leave her alone - she's mine.

-Does it fit?
-Just fine, but it'll get very hot.

Just perfect. It's completely in
line with your personality.

Put keys and wallet
in the Polish attaché bag there.

-Polish attaché bag?
-The plastic bag.

Time manager, keys ...

... swiss army knife, pager ...

... and a sweater.
We don't need more clothes.

-Should we really go like this?
-Certainly! We're taking a taxi.

-Is this your new boat?
-No. It's too impractical if you're solo sailer.

It's a twelve metre. Have you heard
of America's cup? This is it.

Stylish, you know. Check out the lines!

If you get a promotion, you should
buy one. It costs 30 million.

This is my boat.

Nice. Should it say "Fram" at the back?
(means "front" in Swedish)

It's called Fram. Like Fridtjof Nansen's boat.
(Norwegian explorer)

Are we really going to go like this?

You think we should change in a telephone booth?
Stig Helmer - the superrabbit.

-Can I wear this tomorrow?
-It's rude to the other ladies.

-What?
-That the hostess is the most beautiful at the party.

Frozen Margarita.

Alice and Didrik are coming. They want to
show off their new Swan, of course.

-Will he enter the Midsummer Cup?
-Yeah, he'll be "grinder" with me.

He may need some exercise. We're
some girls who plan challenging you.

-Are you going to use the kids' boat then?
-No, we sail in the same category as you.

-My boat is actually a twelve metre.
-Our boat, darling.

I've borrowed New Sweden from Victor Uggla.

Why would Europe's most frugal
financier lend you his boat?

He wants to tease you a bit.
Also, I think he's a little fond of me.

Are you gonna sail a boat with only chicks?

It's called "women," darling. And we sail
just as good as you. Do you wanna bet?

If you even get up the
spinnaker on New Sweden-

-I'll sail Round Gotland Race in the kids' boat-
(sailing competition around Sweden's largest island)

-with that hat and dress on me.
What's you counteroffer?

Then I promise not to have a headache
in the bedroom for a month.

This is what Stråholmen looks like today,
and this is "Östermanland".

-This is our logotype.
-Logotype?

Company image, then.

Here is the roller coaster,
and here's the lighthouse restaurant "Hemsö".

The stage, dance floor,
go-cart and flumeride.

Here are the timeshares.
Here is the bingo, and here we have the marina-

-with fast food and souvenirs. Here is the
mini-railway around the entire facility.

What do you call it in the planning permission?

"Cautious expansion of natural harbour."

Don't worry, I am the planning committee.

I've been thinking about my share.
I've to take some risks-

-so I want 50 percent of the profit
and that lake-side plot we've discussed.

50 percent?

-You're a tough negotiator, Janzon.
-Without me, there will be no Östermanland.

But not a word to anyone just yet, because then
we'll get a lot of tree huggers on our ass.

This will be a gold mine. People have to be
entertained when they are out in the archipelago.

I will call you when Kaj Björkhagen
has arranged the financing.

-Hi, Anna Vera!
-Hi, dad!

You haven't changed a bit.

But dad, what have you done?

[IN RUSSIAN: "COMRADES, WRONG PIER"]
It looks insane! You've ruined the whole atmosphere.

-What is that weird plastic island?
-A water slide.

-The Stockholmers need to be entertained.
-How did you get a building permit for everything?

Söderblom wasn't even allowed to build a woodshed.

I've my contacts.

Is this yours and that Ture Janzon's work?
You've to get rid of these nonsense!

You can't come here and dictate just
because you've been in Stockholm for a while.

-I will expand the natural harbour as well.
-Yeah yeah, we'll see.

Blow from behind, darling. There you go.

What is it called when the wind comes
from behind? Beam reach, darling.

-The boat is beam reaching.
-"Beam". I thought was some kind of rod.

Oh yes, of course.
And a beamer has four wheels.

Words can have several meanings, darling.

I still think we should've bought that cottage instead.
I know I'm going to get seasick.

Bullshit. You'll love the sea.
This is a green dot.

-On which side should the boat go?
-Around the bath brush?

[FOLK MUSIC]

A shot of kryptonite for me and
some carrot juice for my friend here.

-No, no, a soda aquavit.
-I'm sorry, we have neither aquavit nor soda water.

-Can I suggest a vodka tonic?
-Yeah, sure.

-Hi, Krisse. Another dance?
-I gotta go, I've an early rise.

It's just parties all the time.

Bye bye.

-Cute little mouse.
-Did she want to come along and sail?

No. She was going out to sea with another guy.

Tag along tomorrow, Stig Helmer.
Midsummer in the archipelago. Music...

-... chicks, boogie-woogie.
-And seasickness.

"Fram" goes smooth like a train.
You should think a bit about yourself.

Karl Helmer is fine with his grandmother.
You might find a new girl.

-I'm going to ask mom.
-"I'll ask mom ..." ha, ha!

Sometimes I understand why Lotta
left you - and your mother.

Hey, this is actually a
private conversation. Hey!

[SNORES]

Then we go up here, past Vaxholm ...

... cross the Karlsund Bridge ...

... and then further up towards Stråholmen.

Mm-hmm

Can't we sleep in our regular beds?

-We're getting up so early tomorrow.
-We'll get some rough sea experience, darling.

We've to get used to it being tight.

What a fun party! Now it's time
to get a taxi, Stickan.

When Ronnie was the goalkeeper, "Bajen" had
a bit more style. (Swedish football team)

Ok Ronnie, catch it!
["SPOLA KRÖKEN" - FLUSH THE PIPES (anti drinking campaign)

Ahhhhhh!

-How did it go?
-Good...

-Take the bag and jump!
-There are so many bags!

I'm coming!

Hello! Follow that barge!

You're from Norway, aren't you?
You're crazy over there. Fly!

[WHISTLES]

Here it is! Thank you.

Must the engine be on? It smells so bad.
I thought it was a sailboat.

We've to charge the batteries.
What are these rolls?

-Rag rugs? Have you brought rag rugs?
-I thought it was going to go nicely on the floor.

Honey, rag rugs have no place on a boat.
You have rag rugs ...

-... in a cottage!
-That's the end of that discussion.

And it's not called "floor", it's "deck".

-Wipe your feet before boarding.
-You should say, that always go in with dirty shoes.

I'm borrowing this for a while.
[SUPERMAN COMIC BOOK]

I'll be right back.

-How's it going? Having trouble?
-It usually starts at nine "bloody hells" and three "goddamns".

-Do you have extra ropes with you?
-This should be enough for the summer.

-Hey ho!
-Hey!

Okay!

-There we go.
-No, not there, Stig Helmer!

Aha, that's it.

It was nice to see you anyway.

This is completely absurd.

-Did you find the bag?
-No. What did it say on it?

Ica or Domus was written on it.
(Swedish grocery shops)

You start looking over there,
and I'll start here.

I don't drive tourists during midsummer.

What the hell have you done with my boat?

Did you get the bean sprouts?

No plastic buckets on this boat.
There is cadmium in them, and they're ugly.

-It would be good to have a bucket.
-I already have a bucket.

-It was Superman who took the boat.
-Your son shouldn't read such garbage.

Oh dear, incredible!

The boat just lay floating out there.
Superman must've flown away.

Keep an eye on the boat now, or else maybe
Donald Duck or The Phantom will snatch it.

-Have you attached it in the front?
-Obviously not.

You shouldn't be mean just because
I'm trying to make it nice.

-We must look insane.
-Good thing that no one has seen us.

[BOAT HORN]

On the port side we see Oscar Fredriks Borg
and on the starboard side ...

... Superman and a pink rabbit.
-Look, Superman!

[APPLAUSE]

-You have plastic fenders.
-They are not made of plastic, but of rubber.

I didn't know you're such a plastic hater.
Is that why we've the food in paper bags?

Can you imagine anything uglier
than a bunch of plastic bags on a boat?

No, now I'm giving up.

Now we have to get ashore.

The credit card can be blocked.
Next time we come close to land ...

-... then we jump and swim ashore.
-Swim?

I have problems with my ears, so my head
can't be underwater for too long.

Aha, we'll have to wave to a boat
then that can pick us up. Okay?

Unbelievable! It's Ole Bramserud and his friend.

-Hello!
-Hey! What are you doing out here?

-Is that the boat I should go with?
-Yes, it's my new boat Garbage 34.

It's a completely crazy story.
When we came from the masquerade ...

[ABOUT 17 MINUTES LATER]

Somewhere among the garbage bags there
is one with clothes, keys and a pager.

Wait, you said there's a pager in the bag?

-What number do you have?
-00 47 47 11.

-Are you ready?
-You're a genius!

Go over there and sharpen your ears!

[BEEPING]

Jippie! Here it is.

-You are two gems! Can you take us from here too?
-Of course we can.

Can you shower first?
Hi, Kaj Björkhagen.

[TRYING TO START THE ENGING]
[DUCKS QUACKING MOCKINGLY]

Are you not going to grab a bite to eat?

I'm going to have the
damn engine going-

-if that's the last thing I do!

[DUCKS QUACKING]

God what you stink! You'll have to change.

-Where are you going?
-To Madde and Henke Abrahamsen.

-The finance guy?
-Do you know him?

-Not personally ... the one who bought Kookaburra 2?
-Yeah.

Then you will soon see a real boat. But hold
on to your ears - this one can get to 50 knots.

60!

Here come Kaj and Krisse.

It seems like they think it's a masquerade.
They have someone with them.

The Phantom, or whatever his name is.

No, it's Superman, honey.
And then something rabbit-like.

-Hello!
-I'll take the anchor if you drive, Krisse.

Superman takes the lead
and Roger Rabbit the fenders.

What the hell are you doing?

[DUCKS QUACKING]

-What should I do with these?
-Give them to the hostess, instead of flowers.

Welcome.

-I hope you are insured.
-It was an accident.

Nothing happened to the boat.

-You looked awfully funny, by the way.
-I'm glad that I can make someone happy.

-Shouldn't we use the sails?
-No, we'll take it easy in the beginning.

Your mother doesn't like it leaning.

Take the rudder, darling.

No, no ... Arne, what should I do?

Oh, no!

What the hell...?

Cool!

[APPLAUDING]

God, how strange it got.
How do we get it down?

To hell with it now, leave it!
But I'll deduct it from your allowance.

We sat at the Opera Bar and
I had only drunk soda water.

When I call my dear wife,
she says that I sound drunk.

Then it turns out that someone
has put tin foil in the handset-

-which makes you sound hammered.

"Honey, I only had soda water."

Uhm, if there's a pole with a boat at the
top, which side should I steer of it?

Well...

[STRING QUARTET]

Ah, what cute guys.

There are twists and turns over there.

Twists and turns? Sailing stuff?

No, it's dry martini and
white wine with mineral water.

Are we not disturbing? It's a private party.

Oh yes, but they think it's chic
with someone from the working class.

There must be something wrong with the sextant.
According to it, we are near Arvika.

Arvika! Have you heard of nautical charts?

I'm going to navigate based
on the sun and the stars.

Aren't you a little hostile to progress?
You have to accept innovation.

Did you learn that at the last seminar?

Don't be so condescending. If you don't
sublimate your language, you'll become stupid.

Have you heard of the saying "silence is gold"?

Why does the dog have boots?

There were no running shoes in his size.

No, it's so he doesn't scratch the deck.
I'll buy some of those for Bjarne.

-Look, there comes Didde.
-"Bo Kredit Finans".

So banal. Typically Didrik.

-Swan 65 is a nice advertising spot.
-Yes, but expensive.

-Can I use your phone?
-Sure, take the one in the kitchen.

Forget the purse, hurry up!
Arrgh, women!

-God, what's he driving her for?
-A real little fascist.

-Who's that?
-He's the council's top man.

-Ture Janzon. Kaj has invited him.
-So that's Janzon with "z"?

-Hello, mom. It's Stig Helmer.
-Hello? Who is it?

[CANNED VOICE]
-Where have you been?
-I'm in the archipelago.

-Are you drunk? You're slurring.
-No, I'm out in the archipelago.

What are you doing there? You, that
can't swim, and you'll get seasick.

-I don't think I'll get home in time for dinner.
-I can't hear what you're saying.

Dad is out in the archipelago. What are
you doing? Drunk in the middle of the day.

What's wrong, mom? Don't wait
with dinner. I'll call you later.

-Say hi to Karl Helmer.
-Stig Helmer? Stig Helmer?

-Are you also an immigrant?
-Me? No.

You have to be, no swedes call their mother.

-Nothing to be ashamed of. Where are you from?
-I was born in Birkastan.

Pakistan?

How much did your Swan set you back, Didrik?

I had an Omega 42 before, so I had
to put a few bucks in the trade-in.

But it feels good to have a Swan.

We would have arrived a long time
ago if it hadn't been for Didrik.

I thought I was going to die of
laughter. Didrik has a pacemaker-

-last year, something went wrong with it.
Every time Didrik sneezed, the sonar started beeping.

-Didde, now I think Alice is a bit mean.
-That's no problem.

Behind her evil mask, hides a heart of stone.

-Coast guard, Stockholm.
-I'm so worried about my son ...

-... that's out in the archipelago.
-What's his position?

I think he is quality tester
at Toastmaster Ltd.

-I mean boat position. Where is the boat?
-He's near a phone booth ...

-... because he just called.
-Then you don't have to worry.

Shot!

Pull!

[APPLAUSE]
Nice shot.

Food!

If we tilt the boat, then we'll get under.

Honey, now I want you to
climb to the end of the beam.

Oh no ... Arne. Shouldn't we wait
until they open the bridge instead?

If you hadn't mess up the dinghy, we would
have been on the other side by now. Do as I say.

I don't want to stay here for hours.

There, honey. Up and away now.

[HUFFING AND PUFFING]

Good, honey! A little bit more!

-Oh! Arne, I can't take it any more!
-Ah yes, honey! Hold on!

-Ah!
-Damnit!

[TRAIN SIGNAL]

Honey, swim to the ladder over there!

[TRAIN WHISTLE]

[TRAIN PASSES AHEAD]

God damnit!

Stop the bridge!

No, no!

Why do they do it like that, Yngve?

Hell do I know! It's a little bit early
to take it out for storage already.

Oh my God, Olle is still in the boat!

Olle!

What the hell are you doing?

Kaj says that if we girls are to sail the
boat, we'll have to chew anabolic steroids-

-and have nets as sails.

-Have any women sailed a twelve metre before?
-Not that I know of. So about time someone did it.

-How's it going for Bramserud Advertising?
-Well, it's going okay.

I work mostly with billboards -
big posters. Think big.

If you want to be seen, you have to shout.
BRAMSERUD ADVERTISING!

-Hey, what did mom say?
-She was a little worried.

What do you want to do? Play golf, clay
shooting, windsurfing? Pernilla, come here.

-Can I see the boat?
-Certainly.

-Have you ever windsurfed?
-No, never.

Stand straight in the back with slightly bent knees.

When you luff, you move the sail backwards.
When you fall, move it a bit forward.

When you beam reach, you do this.

Try to raise the sail now!

There you go! So now shuffle back here
and do exactly as I have taught you.

-Pernilla!
-Coming!

-Nice, huh?
-Beautiful boat.

Actually, it's not technically a boat,
so I don't have to register it.

The term is "sports equipment" -
like a discus or a football.

Hehe. Nice football, but expensive.

-Do you sail yourself?
-Yes, I have a dinky boat.

I had planned to come out here for midsummer,
but I don't know if I'll make it back in time.

You have the data display behind you.
It's the one you're looking at.

Then you have the rudder here, with trim tabs.

Here you have a the mainsheet pedestal.
Go ahead, you can test it.

Hydraulic panel. A grinder pedestal
on a six-speed crosslink system.

A display with forestay-tension -
boat speed. You can check it here right away.

You'll get the numbers here.
It's the same on the other side.

-What kind of dinky do you have?
-A Vega, a modified Vega.

A modified Vega?

[LAUGHS]

No but seriously, what boat do you have?

I actually have a Vega.
Small boats also have their charm.

Keep your head down,
and then take a good swing.

This time you came in from the outside.
Hey, do you play golf?

No, I quit. I never got through
the car tire on hole number three.

-Do you want to try? It's easy.
-You should say that has a handicap of ten.

Shall I help you?
Left hand on top.

-What do you want?
-Can I keep the golf balls in the swimming pool?

-You're not allowed to play in my pool.
-It's Patrik's boats. Look, there's another one.

Not so bad.

-Does anyone want sushi?
-Raw fish. The latest trend according to Madde.

-How is it going for Stig Helmer?
-Yes, he's pretty good.

But he's probably finished now. Kalle, have you
seen the one with the glasses? The one surfing?

No!

-That were five boxes you wanted?
-Yes. You'll add it to my tab as usual?

[BOAT ENGINE]

-They'll run aground on Pettersson's spot.
-This is life, darling.

There she went! That was the fifth.
And it's not even midsummer yet.

-Yngve, the boat is leaking.
-Then start pouring out!

I think she's taking in water. The lady
is pouring out. Speaking of ladies ...

The old hag Larsson was close to sending the
navy on me. She's afraid of submarines.

Did she think you were a submarine?

I was just about to row out a stove
to the cottage on Tistronskär.

[SNIFFS]

No! Berit, stop pouring!
[DUCKS QUACKING]

[BOAT ENGINE]
Hello!

Hey!

You don't happen to know how
to turn one of these around?

-With the sail. Where are you from?
-Saltnäs.

-Abrahamsens' place?
-Yes.

My god, then you must have been hanging on for
quite a while. It's at least ten knots there.

-You're freezing, huh?
-Yes, it's starting to get a little bit chilly.

Although it was quite fun. It's my first time.

Yeah I can tell. Jump in.

I have done an economic model-

-calculating with bankruptcy within
two years, where we buy out Stråholmen-

-and Östermanland
through a shell company.

-The old man bears the risk.
-He will be ruined, poor thing.

Very likely. You're not getting sentimental, are you?

Östermanland becomes profitable only after
a bankruptcy. We need Stråholmen.

-He should continue with ice cream and gasoline.
-He's dreaming about making it big time.

[BELL]
Coming!

Full tank, please.

-Look, the old dude is surfing.
-Söderblom got his own ideas.

He's rented out his boat to summer guests.

He casts nets with that one too.

Hey, Söderblom! It's our original out here.

-What's that?
-This is where the wind smurfs live.

It's a "sky fall" - or
shoe fall, as Dad like to say.

It's a water slide.
It's ugly, don't you think?

This is Stig Helmer.

-Where did you find him?
-He was floating out at Björkfjärden.

Out of gas, I assume.
Anna, now you have to help out a bit-

-with the video rental, the ice cream,
and the smokehouse and I'll do the rest.

I just have get Stig Helmer some
dry clothes and call Madeleine.

Then you'll have to use the phone booth, because ours is
broken again. It's probably some Sunday driver-

-that got stuck with the cable in the anchor.

[LAUGHING]
Tell me it ain't so! In the middle of Björkfjärden?

He was on his way to Finland!
Unfortunately, I don't have time to get him back.

We can have him picked up.
Not the glasses, the others.

Do you have a fun party?
You sound a bit drunk.

Do I sound drunk? Oh, it's my childish
husband who's been on it again.

Excuse me, have you seen
my friend, the rabbit?

-He is out surfing with Pernilla.
-No ... I don't think so.

It's nice listening to music
with this nice view.

It's not music, you see.

[RECORDED VOICE]
Eriksson B 13.6, Skandia 10.6
and Volvo B 9.6 million.

My secretary recorded it for me.

Your friend is on Stråholmen.
It's ten knots in that direction.

Having such a luxury boat in this country
is like standing in a cold shower ...

-... and tearing up thousand-dollar bills.
-He can afford it, Didde.

I'm withdrawing myself from that Östermanland
project. I find it a bit vulgar.

-You've become too sensitive, then.
-It's common sense.

-I want to avoid power-grabbing idiots.
-I take it Ture Janzon isn't your idol?

-Kaj, can I borrow your boat?
-For various reasons, I rather not lend you the boat.

-I can't afford it, it's not paid off yet.
-Now you're childish.

I'll take Ole over to Stråholmen.

If I had an icebreaker, I would've
lent it to you right away.

-Real fun ...
-Take our boat.

I will never forget that boat. It's been
very nice. They've stopped manufacturing it

Don't be snide! And stop messing around with the phones.

Tight and stylish. The right brand too.

Can you cover? I have to
ask dad to make more ice cream.

Hi.

-A Top Hat, please.
-Magazines are over there in the shop.

-But I wonder if Top Hat exists anymore.
-What are you talking about?
("Top Hat" is an old porno magazine)

-Where did you pick them up?
-In the guest harbour.

They are from last summer.
It was a good year.

-You have to make another batch of ice cream.
-Yeah ok, I'll sort that out.

-They'll run aground.
-Dad, you have to mark out the reef.

Why? There are nautical charts.

What the hell is this? Damn,
there shouldn't be a reef here.

[DISCOUNTED ANCHORS]

Goddamnit!

[BABY CRIES]
Don't get so angry. What's done is done.

I'm just expressing my feelings.
Just like you told me to do.

You're scaring Kajsa!

There there, don't be sad that Peter is stupid.
I think it's actually me you're angry at.

You're using the grounding to act
out your aggressions towards me.

-Bullshit, I have no aggression against you.
-Hah! Can we talk about this?

I see this boat as an extension of your child-self.

-You see me as a threat to your personal space.
-Shut up, or I'll kick you out of my personal space!

-Help get me off this reef.
-Never!

Oh no, I didn't think of that.
You're not Swedish.

No, I'm Norwegian. Did you only just realise that?

We are entering a military zone.

Shh. They may think you're a Norwegian spy.

Sure. My name is Bramserud -
James Bramserud.

Stop tearing the damn catalogs, there
are charts to buy. Give me that.

Vandals.

Goddamn reverse!

[CRASH]

Sorry!

Hello?

-Who was it?
-No one. Now you get to be the sheriff.

"My name is Olle. I'm from Östermalm."
[OLE TRYING TO SPEAK SWEDISH]

Who do they think I am? Warsaw Pact?

No, but they are quite strict. One more time.

"My name is Olle. I'm from
Östermalm. How's it hanging?"

"I work in advertising.
Hey-lan gore, shung hop father lala lay"

It sounds almost Swedish.

-What's happened to you?
-It was a train...

-Shh! It was a train that broke - a drain,
that is. We've run into some problems.

-Isn't this where you fill up with water?
-No, it's on the other side.

-It says "water".
-Huh?

Dad, the ice cream is out again. The machine
can only make five liters at a time.

I'll figure something out.

So you are going to sail the Midsummer Cup
on a twelve metre with upper class chicks?

-Trying to climb up the social ladder?
-You should say, you that thinks you're Bert Karlsson.
(Swedish equivalent of Donald Trump)

[BOAT ENGINE]

Throw in the anchor - now!

Arne ... Arne, the rope ends.

Lengthen it with something, darling.
Olle, help your mom.

Olle, give me that string!

Hurry, give me something else, Olle!
Give me that! Come on, hold on here!

[LAUGH]

-Hey, surf-king! How's it going?
-Good. It was actually really fun to surf.

It'll be twice as fun when you learn how to turn.

-This is Anna.
-Hi, I'm Olle. I'm Swedish!

-Why do you talk like that?
-Foreigners aren't allowed to be here.

Yes, it's very active around here.
They've seen submarines again.

You're just in time for dinner. We'll
just take a trip to the natural harbour.

-Come along.
-Okay.

-Aren't you going to put out the fenders?
-No, no, no worries, I'll repainted her soon.

It would be for your sake, then. Fender, Berit.

That's not a Fender, it's an Ibanez.

That blue one down, that's a fender.

I don't know that much about this kind of thing.

Krisse is staying on Stråholmen. It's
foggy and Anna is making dinner.

-I'm going to get her.
-I don't think you should sail after drinking.

Pfft, that's no problem. I don't want her to be with
those clowns. I'm taking the small motorboat.

-Yngve, there's something down here.
-Wait. Watch out.

-Look, it seems to be a forest fire.
-No, it's the natural harbour.

Everyone's started their barbeques.

[ORGAN MUSIC]

-Is there a religious boat club?
-No, it's the evening service.

They are waiting for the sea report.

[HUMMING]

The cucumbers are also Swedish.
If they're non-toxic? Yes, I hope so.

Do you have anything organic?

-Do you have any lagers? Nice drink?
-No, but there are cucumbers and tomatoes.

[BIG SPLASH]

Hey, hey, stop!
There's a boat in your swimming pool!

Huh? I've told you; you and Patrik
are not allowed to play in my pool.

It's not our boat.

Here's my card. Keep in touch.

[FIDDLER MUSIC]

Dad and I will go over to the boat next door for a while.

You can watch that nice program before you go to sleep.

Don't stay up for too long.

-Bye.
-Bye.

Hi. Here are the newspapers.

Bye.

Damn, Söderblom moving around with that bloody stove.

Okay, Mrs Larsson. We'll check it out.

This is the fourth time in a week she's seen submarines.

[SCREAMS AND GUNFIRE FROM THE TV]

And then, Berit poured out
40% home brew in the Baltic Sea.

There was no point in pouring it back. Stop it, Yngve.

How do you like sailing, then?

Well, it gives a certain sense of freedom.

But I'm not a boat person. I wanted to
buy a cottage, but Arne is so stubborn.

When you are locked in an office
all year round, you want to get out.

-This is probably smaller than your office.
-I don't mean exactly this, honey.

Too bad the environment is starting to get so
ruined out here. There's oil everywhere.

Arne poured oil into our drinking water.

Shall we check on Kajsa, Peter?

[DUCKS QUACKING]

[LAUGHS]

Damn, rain and eleven degrees
on Midsummer's Eve.

It's like Christmas Eve. You just exchange
the Christmas tree with a midsummer pole.

-Aren't you going to eat?
-No, I'm going to check on the dance floor.

I saw a funny thing in Sandhamn.

There was a guy who was going to dock,
and his wife was standing in the stern.

Then he shouted to the lady:
"Throw in the anchor - now!"

Do you know what the lady is doing?
She throws the anchor in the dinghy.

... and when Wallenberg sees that he is on
his way to crash with the other boats, he shouts:

"Aim for something cheap!" Can't you tell us
something we haven't heard before, honey?

[ACCORDION MUSIC]

-I'll take care of that.
-What the hell, it's midsummer!

-You'll get it back later.
-Give him it, it's just as well.

Damn bully.

[APPLAUSE]

-Do you know anything by Orup?
-Orup? No sorry, we don't.

Let's go with that new one in G.

-I'll take care of that.
-Sorry? No, you will not.

You mustn't violate our integrity
with your fascist tendencies.

Fasci...? Rules are rules!

-Give me the bottle!
-Haha, give him a drop.

Dad claims I'm christened after his shaving water.

"Anna", the shaving water?

-No, my name is actually Vera too.
-Ah yes. Aqua Vera.

Well, anyway ...
If you go out here, you'll have a good view.

The start is tomorrow at ten o'clock.
You'll cheer us on, won't you?

-You're not nervous?
-Yes, I'm a little bit jittery. But it'll be fun.

-I think the guys will win.
-You traitor! Cheers to us girls.

Skål!
("cheers" in Swedish)

-Did you talk to your dad about the harbour?
-Yeah, you were right about Janzon.

But dad doesn't listen, he got horrible taste.

And now he is going to build an "Östermanland".

I have to stop this nonsense.
I'll have to call the newspapers.

Anna, I got a crazy idea.
Think big...

-But I need your help, Ole.
-Your word is my law.

Wait, I just have to check the fish.

No, but, Stig Helmer ...
You've cooked the whole net.

[LAUGHS]

Oh yeah, we have a small cottage near the harbour.

So I'm pottering around some.

Do you have a red and a green sock?

I got them from Arne.

So I'll learn to distinguish between right and left at sea.

Oh okay. That's nice of him.

Where are they!?
The music is over a long time ago.

-Do you want a cigarette?
-No. Don't you have any carra?

Caramels.

No, but I have chewing gum.

Oh...

I just wanted to say that Olle and I will
take the ferry to town tomorrow morning.

Good night!

I feel like Captain Blood.

[PLAYING "TILL HAVS" ("AT SEA")]

[THE MUSIC IS SLOWING DOWN]

Over there is Skälkobb.
That's where we should be.

You can stay here.

I'll show you my favorite place.

There. It's really cute.

It's so beautiful it hurts.

I'll never get tired of this.

Shall we go swimming? It's not cold, it'll be good for you.

-Come on then!
-I would love to, but I have some problems with my ears.

You can't swim!

Because of my ears, I never learned to swim.

That's nothing to be ashamed of,
no one out here can swim.

Only Stockholmers can swim, dad says. Come on then!

Relax. Relax! Hold me. There, there.

Hi, Stig Helmer! Cute life jacket
you've got. We're done now.

-Oh ...
-Good morning.

The girls have already left,
but they left that basket.

You know where you're going, huh?
It looks like you'll get nice weather too.

-You're not going to watch the Midsummer Cup?
-Yes, but on TV.

-Bye!
-Bye.

Can you really go out on the
sea with such a small boat?

Sure, this boat is unsinkable.
It has a floating element there-

-one there and one here. Everyone on board!

-You only need one life jacket.
-But I thought if ...

One of these can handle 90 kilos.
But you might have big bones?

Have we got sound? Then let's go.

You won't be sailing in the Midsummer Cup this
year, but your boat New Sweden is taking part?

-What do you think about the crew's chances?
-It will probably be an exciting match-race.

I think it's a very good initiative from the girls.
We need fresh blood in the race.

Ture Janzon, award presenter, important man in the
community. What do you think of the competition?

It's good. People need to be entertained.

-The race is said to disturb bird life.
-We are aware of that.

We work with environmental issues in the municipality.
We want to protect our unique environment.

Welcome to this year's Midsummer Cup.

We will show pictures from the twelve metre's
match-race. Here we see both twelve-

-in a dramatic pre-start maneuver.

The boats have the right to get a good starting
position ten minutes before take-off-

-by ensuring that the competitor
ends up in a bad situation.

-Let's get them!
-Yes!

The girls keep up with the boys' pace
despite the heavy work in the boat.

Kookaburra can probably get a good
position compared to New Sweden.

It's a match-race, so the first
boat to finish wins the competition.

That is why the start is so important
and in many respects absolutely crucial.

Now!

Good.

It will be a good start.
Maybe both are out a little too early.

New Sweden is perfectly located while
Kookaburra is dangerously close to a false start.

Perfect! They are too early.
Madde, push them over the line!

[START SHOT]

Damnit! They pushed us over the line!
We have to restart.

The girls manage to push Kookaburra
across the line just before the starting shot-

and the false start is completely finished.
Now Kookaburra has to restart.

It will be difficult to catch up with New
Sweden, even if they are more experienced-

-and trained than the girls are.

Come on!

They're tacking!

Ready for battle! We tack.

Trim!

-Now they'll be here soon.
-Yeah.

-What happened to the boat?
-No clue.

Maybe it didn't know
it was unsinkable.

Don't be afraid, Stig Helmer.

A boat will soon pick us up. It'll be fine.

It's Stig Helmer and Ole!
Your boat sank just below them.

-But it's unsinkable.
-Well, they succeeded at least!

We have to pick them up.
It doesn't take that long.

It's not like turning around
with a dinghy, so to say.

The chicks have already got problems.
Someone seems to have fallen in.

-I'm sorry, honey!
-Sorry, girls!

-Pick them up fast!
-Hey, Bramserud.

What are you doing, guys?

We've just misplaced your
unsinkable boat. But I'm insured.

Welcome aboard.
There are dry clothes down there.

Come on now, girls!
The race is not over! Fight!

Trim!

-Can you help with anything?
-You can check the hydraulics.

We're raking the mast.
Then you can drop a little on checkstay.

-Let go of...?
-Checkstay.

Forget it. Anna.

Here we've got the boats at
the rounding of the last mark.

Kookaburra's in the lead and after the last
rounding should put up the spinnaker.

It's important that the
spinnaker is raised well.

And it is -
they succeed perfectly.

This year the sailors can have advertising-filled
sails, and if so, on the spinnaker.

[PRESERVE STRÅHOLMEN - STOP JANZONS' EXPLOITATION]
Kookaburra has taken advantage of that opportunity.

But what does it say?
Yes, we'll have to get back to this.

[LAUGHS]

-Bramserud Advertising!
-There is some damn text on the spinnaker.

Take down the spinnaker!

Who the hell came up with this?

Now they suddenly have
problems with the spinnaker.

At least now New Sweden
still has the chance.

Now the girls have a spinnaker raising.

-Watch out, Stig Helmer!
-Damn!

-Calm down, we'll pick you up soon!
-They also have a good spinnaker raising.

-We have to get him down.
-Take down the spinnaker? Never.

If you can hang on, we'll pass the guys.

I can probably do that.

One of the girls is probably engaged
in "spinnaker flying".

Dad's on TV.

A bold move by New Sweden.
Crews are often teasing each other.

Then we are at the finish line. Now it will be
exciting to see what happens.

Hurry up and get that fucking genoa sail up sometime!

[GUN SHOT SIGNALLING FINISH]
There goes the goal shot for New Sweden.
We can only congratulate the crew.

-I'll be damned.
-Thanks.

-You don't take cards, do you?
-Don't wriggle out of it. A bet is a bet.

Can we ask you some questions?
Any comments on the spinnaker text?

No, no comments.

[APPLAUSE]

A fourfold hooray for New Sweden.
Hooray, hooray, hooray, hooray!

[A BANG]

You weren't so bad, after all. If only you
hadn't taken down the spinnaker so quickly.

-Thanks. I'm going into town soon, if you want a ride.
-I'll stay on Stråholmen for a few days.

Congratulations, darling.
It was ingenious, but damn expensive.

I can tell from fairly reliable sources
that the paint is water soluble.

You'll look good in my hat.

Now we raise Stig Helmer again.

Oh hey, oh hey, hey!

-Oh one, oh two, oh three!
-No, oh no ...

Oh my God, he can't swim!

[LAUGHS DEFEATEDLY]

Come on, we'll help you.

[ENGINE NOISE]
[DUCKS QUACKING]

A submarine on Stråholmsfjärden with a
dinghy? It's not a submarine, Mrs Larsson.

Stig Helmer?

Stig Helmer?

English translation: MA