Ruthless People (1986) - full transcript

Sam Stone (Danny DeVito) is a clothing manufacturer, who married his wife Barbara (Bette Midler), for the money that she was supposed to inherit from her dying father, but her father didn't die for another fifteen years. He is now planning to kill her and he tells his girlfriend Carol Dodsworth (Anita Morris) what he is going to do. He then on his way home to do just that but when he gets there, she's not there. He then receives a call from someone claiming to have kidnapped Barbara and threatening to kill her if he informs the police, which he does hoping that they do. What Stone doesn't know is that the kidnappers, Ken (Judge Reinhold) and Sandy (Helen Slater) Kessler are a couple whose idea for a garment he stole and made fortune off, are not that lethal, as a matter of fact Barbara's more lethal. And what Stone doesn't know is that Carol, has another boyfriend named Earl Mott (Bill Pullman), and they plan to blackmail Sam, by videotaping him disposing of Barbara's body. When Earl goes there to do that, the person who goes there was not Sam but a man with a hooker (Jeannine Bisignano), and he instructs the hooker to scream her head off, Earl mistakenly believes that Barbara's not dead and that Sam was killing her there, and was so freaked out that he didn't bother to see if it was Sam. Carol tries to put her plan in operation by sending Sam a copy of the tape, Sam thinks that it's for something kinky that Carol wants and when Sam tells her that he is going to do what was done on the tape to her, she assumes that he is going to kill her. So she sends another copy of the tape to the Chief of Police (William G. Schilling), and tells him that she wants him to arrest Sam for murdering Barbara, and the Chief is happy to oblige cause he is the man who is on the tape. The Chief manages to find the instruments that Sam was going to use to kill Barbara and arrests him. Sam now has to get Barbara, alive, so that he can prove that he didn't kill her. And Barbara starts to bond with Sandy.

foodval.com - stop by if you're interested in the nutritional composition of food
---
* HEY

* STAND UP

* HEY

* RUTHLESS PEOPLE

* RUDE PEOPLE

[HONK HONK]

* GREEDY
FOREVER AND EVER *

* SUCCESS

* GREEDY
AND EVER SO CLEVER *

* A MESS

* GIVING THEIR RIGHT ARM
TO CREEP INTO PARADISE *



* THEY'LL EVEN BLACKMAIL
SAINT PETER *

* TO PAY THE PRICE

* HEY

* STAND UP

* GET ON YOUR FEET

* RUTHLESS PEOPLE

* GREED AND EVIL

* OH, YES

* YOU CAN HAVE IT

* IF YOU WANT IT

* IT MIGHT TAKE
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE *

* IF YOU WANT IT

* YOU COULD HAVE IT

* DO A BALANCING ACT
ON A KNIFE *



* YOU CAN HAVE IT

* IF YOU WANT IT

* IF YOU THINK IT'S CHEAP
AT THE PRICE *

* IF YOU WANT IT

* YOU COULD HAVE IT

* BUT SWEAT YOUR SWEET SOUL
OUT ON ICE *

* RUTHLESS PEOPLE

* RUTHLESS PEOPLE

CAROL, DID I TELL YOU
WHY I MARRIED HER?

YES, SAM,
MANY, MANY--

HER FATHER WAS
VERY, VERY RICH

AND VERY, VERY SICK.

THE DOCTORS ASSURED ME
HE'D BE DEAD ANY MINUTE.

THERE WASN'T
A SECOND TO LOSE.

I RUSHED OUT AND MARRIED
THE BOSS' DAUGHTER.

HE WAS SO SICK,

IT WAS LIKE
THE ANGEL OF DEATH

WAS SITTING IN THE ROOM
WATCHING THE CLOCK.

THEY PULLED
THE PLUG ON HIM.

HE WHEEZED AND SHOOK
FOR ABOUT AN HOUR,

AND THEN...

HE STABILIZED!

THE SON OF A BITCH

JUST GOT
OLDER AND SICKER

AND OLDER AND SICKER

AND OLDER AND SICKER!

MORE COFFEE, SIR?

NO!

I COULDN'T WAIT.

I WENT OUT AND MADE
MY OWN FORTUNE.

THE OLD FART HUNG ON
FOR ANOTHER 15 YEARS!

FINALLY DIED
OF NATURAL CAUSES.

I WANT THE REST
OF THAT MONEY.

HIS MONEY, HER MONEY--
IT'S MY MONEY.

I HAD TO LIVE
WITH THAT SQUEALING,

CORPULENT LITTLE TOAD
ALL THESE YEARS!

I HATE THAT WOMAN!

I HATE THE WAY
SHE LICKS STAMPS.

I HATE HER FURNITURE.

AND I HATE THAT LITTLE
SOUND SHE MAKES

WHEN SHE SLEEPS.

[SNORE]

BAA!

[SNORE]

BAA!

AH!

AND THAT FILTHY, LITTLE
SHITBAG DOG OF HERS--MUFFY!

AREN'T YOU SCARED?

SCARED?

HELL, NO!

I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

MY ONLY REGRET, CAROL,

IS THAT THE PLAN
ISN'T MORE VIOLENT.

DON'T YOU CONSIDER
THROWING A BODY

OFF A CLIFF
IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT
VIOLENT?

NAH! SHE'LL BE
UNCONSCIOUS,

KNOCKED OUT
FROM THE CHLOROFORM.

I'M TALKING ABOUT
HANDS-ON INVOLVEMENT.

HANDS-ON?

OH?

OH HO HO!

I'M GOING NOW.
I CAN'T WAIT!

GRRR...

GOOD LUCK.

BARBARA, DEAR,
I HAVE SOMETHING
FOR YOU.

BARBARA?

WHERE ARE YOU, DEAREST?

I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.

HONEY?

BARBARA?

DUMPLING?

BARBARA?

NO NOTES?
NO MESSAGES?

THIS IS NOT LIKE YOU,
YOU METICULOUS BITCH.

IT'S JUST LIKE THAT WOMAN
TO SCREW THIS UP!

DAMN IT!

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

MINING THE CARPET
WITH LITTLE POODLE BOMBS?

HERE! TAKE A WHIFF OF THIS.

I'LL KILL YOU!

[ARF! ARF!]

I'LL WRING YOUR NECK!

HAIRY RAT!

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO.

MR. STONE,
LISTEN VERY
CAREFULLY.

WE HAVE KIDNAPPED
YOUR WIFE.

WE HAVE
NO QUALMS
ABOUT KILLING

AND WILL DO SO
AT THE SLIGHTEST
PROVOCATION.

WHO THE HELL IS THIS?

I HAVE
NO PATIENCE

FOR STUPID
QUESTIONS.

I DON'T LIKE
REPEATING MYSELF.

ALL RIGHT. I'M SORRY.
PLEASE CONTINUE.

YOU ARE TO OBTAIN
A NEW, BLACK

AMERICAN TOURISTER
BRIEFCASE,
MODEL NUMBER 8104.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

YES.

IN IT YOU WILL PLACE
$500,000

IN UNMARKED,
NON-SEQUENTIALLY
NUMBERED $100 BILLS.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

SURE.

MONDAY MORNING
AT 11 A.M.,

YOU WILL PROCEED
TO HOPE STREET PLAZA

AND WAIT
FOR A PHONE TO RING.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

YES, I DO.

YOU WILL BE WATCHED
AT ALL TIMES.

IF ANY ACTION
IS NOT CARRIED OUT

TO OUR COMPLETE
SATISFACTION,

YOUR WIFE
WILL BE KILLED.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

I BELIEVE SO.

IF YOU NOTIFY
THE POLICE OR MEDIA,

YOUR WIFE
WILL BE KILLED.

IF YOU DEVIATE FROM
OUR INSTRUCTIONS
IN ANY WAY,

SHE WILL BE KILLED.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

PERFECTLY.

I'M AT THE STONE MANSION
IN BEL AIR,

WHERE 45 MINUTES AGO
MR. STONE RECEIVED A CALL

FROM A MAN DEMANDING RANSOM
FOR HIS WIFE BARBARA.

MMM! MMM!

UHH!

KENNY!

UH! UH!

MMM! MMM!

UNH!

GRAB HER LEGS!

MMM!

YAAH! AAH!

AAH!

DO YOU THINK
SHE'S DEAD?

AAH!

YOU FUCKED WITH
THE WRONG PERSON!

MY HUSBAND DOES BUSINESS
WITH THE MAFIA!

WHEN THEY TRACK YOU DOWN,

YOU, YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY,
EVERYBODY YOU EVER KNEW,

WILL ALL GET
CHAIN-SAW ENEMAS!

THAT'S NOT ALL!

OH, MY GOD!
I'VE BEEN ABDUCTED
BY HUEY AND DEWEY!

JESUS CHRIST!

IT SMELLS LIKE
A TOILET IN HERE!

IT'S JUST AMMONIA.

WE CLEANED
THIS PLACE UP.

I HAD A SPONGE--

MY HUSBAND WORSHIPS
THE GROUND I WALK ON!

WHEN HE HEARS ABOUT THIS,
HE WILL EXPLODE!

HA HA HA HA!

BYE-BYE, BARBARA.

HA HA HA!

A KIDNAPPING TODAY
IN BEL AIR.

POLICE TELL US
BARBARA STONE,

THE WIFE
OF CLOTHING TYCOON
SAM STONE,

WAS ABDUCTED
FROM THE COUPLE'S ESTATE.

PRELIMINARY SOURCES
INDICATED THAT MR. STONE

WAS CONTACTED
LATE THIS AFTERNOON,

AND THAT A RANSOM DEMAND
HAS BEEN MADE.

....KILL MRS. STONE
IF HIS DEMANDS
WERE NOT MET.

IT'S ON EVERY
GODDAMN CHANNEL!

MILLIONAIRE HEIRESS
BARBARA STONE

HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED--

WHAT DID HE DO,
HIRE A PUBLICIST?

I FEEL TERRIBLE.

DO YOU FEEL
AS GUILTY AS I DO?

ARE YOU KIDDING?

HE TAKES OUR MONEY,
STEALS YOUR IDEA,

GOES OUT AND MAKES
A MILLION DOLLARS,

AND YOU FEEL GUILTY?

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

HOW MANY TIMES
HAVE WE BEEN OVER THIS?

OH, HONEY,
NOT AGAIN.

LET ME REMIND YOU
OF SOMETHING.

YOU ARE THE SPANDEX
MINISKIRT KING,
NOT HIM.

HE IS THE SPANDEX
MINISKIRT THIEF.

HE'S THE ONE
WHO SHOULD FEEL GUILTY.

LOOK AT THIS.
DO YOU REMEMBER THIS?

YOU CRIED FOR A WEEK
WHEN YOU SAW THIS.

LOOK AT THE SMILE
ON THAT ASSHOLE.

I KNOW HE STOLE IT,

BUT S DIDN'T
DO ANYTHING.

SHE'S HIS PARTNER!

DAMN IT, SANDY,

DO YOU ENJOY
GETTING STEPPED ON?

DO YOU?

'CAUSE I DON'T.

AND I DON'T FEEL GUILTY.

I TAKE IT BACK.
I DO FEEL GUILTY.

I FEEL VERY GUILTY.

I TRUSTED A SLEAZEBALL
LIKE SAM STONE

WITH OUR LIFE SAVINGS
ON A HANDSHAKE DEAL

AND SAT THERE
AND WATCHED HIM
TAKE IT AWAY.

THAT'S OVER.
WE KNOW BETTER NOW.

FROM NOW ON,
WE TRUST NO ONE.

TO HELL
WITH EVERYBODY ELSE.

WE'VE GOT TO BE RUTHLESS.
THINK RUTHLESS.

WHAT IF I CAN'T?

YOU'VE GOT TO.
IT MAKES YOU STRONG.

WHY BE DECENT
WHEN NOBODY ELSE IS?

LET'S BE ASSHOLES
AND GET RICH.

OOH!
[VACUUM REVS]

OHH!
[REVS]

[REVS]
OHH!

OHH!
[REVS]

[REVS]
OHH!

OH, WHOA!

I'M CRAZY ABOUT YOU,
YOU BIG GALOOT!

OOH! YOU WERE
SOMETHING TODAY!

YEAH.

IT JUST DOESN'T GET
ANY BETTER THAN THIS.

MM, I'LL TAKE
A QUICK SHOWER.

CAN YOU BE READY
WHEN I GET OUT?

READY?

YOU'RE GETTING READY
FOR SAM.

THE VIDEO EQUIPMENT,
REMEMBER?

TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT.

OH, YEAH.
I KNEW THAT.

YOU REMEMBER WHERE
I TOLD YOU TO GO?

THE OLD DESERTED BRIDGE
NEAR THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN.

THAT'S RIGHT.
HE'LL HAVE A RENTED CAR.

HE'S AFRAID
OF GETTING BLOOD
ON HIS SPORTS CAR.

GET AS CLOSE
AS YOU CAN.

GET A GOOD SHOT
OF HIS FACE.

WITHOUT IT,
WE CAN'T BLACKMAIL HIM.

YOU GET THAT VIDEOTAPE

OF SAM FINISHING OFF
HIS WIFE,

AND HE WILL GIVE US
ANYTHING WE WANT

FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.

YEAH. THEN WE'RE
OFF TO HAITI.

NOT HAITI--TAHITI.

I KNEW THAT.

THE PASSPORTS
CAME TODAY.

COOL.

FRANK.
GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

WHAT HAVE WE GOT?

WE FOUND
A CHLOROFORM-SOAKED
HANDKERCHIEF

STUFFED DOWN
IN THE GARBAGE,

AND A TIRE PRINT
ON THE LAWN.

WE FOUND BLOOD
IN THE KITCHEN.

WHERE'S MR. STONE?

UPSTAIRS.

HE SEEMS
PRETTY UPSET.

* WHOA!

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

YES?

MR. STONE,
LIEUTENANT BENDER
AND WALTERS ARE HERE.

THEY'D LIKE TO START
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

OW! OH! OH!

AH!

[SOBBING]

SO SOON...

HA HA!

I LIKE TO HEAR
A WOMAN MAKE NOISE.

I'LL SCREAM
MY HEAD OFF, HONEY.

IT'S YOUR MONEY.

MY WIFE JUST LAYS THERE
LIKE A GUNNYSACK.

AAH!

[MOANING]

OH, MY GOD!

SHE ISN'T DEAD YET.

GOING TO KILL HER
RIGHT HERE!

OHH! OHH!

AAH! AAH!

OH!

AAH! OHH!

OHH!

AAH!

OHH!

OH! AAH!

AAH!

UNGH...

AAAAH! OHH!

OHH!
UNH!

AAH! AAH!

[HORN HONKS]
AAAH!

OHH! AAH!

AAAH!

OHH! AAAAH!

[VOMITING]

I HAVE NO ENEMIES
THAT I KNOW OF.

I'M A BUSINESSMAN.

I MANUFACTURE
WOMEN'S SPORTSWEAR.

I THINK I'VE
HEARD OF YOU.

DON'T THEY CALL YOU
THE SPANDEX KING?

THE SPANDEX
MINISKIRT KING.

PROBABLY READ
ONE OF THE ARTICLES.

IT WAS HIS IDEA--
SPANDEX MINISKIRTS.

WAS THERE
ANYBODY HERE TODAY

WHEN YOU CAME HOME--
SERVANTS, MAIDS?

IT'S THE MAID'S
DAY OFF.

DID YOU NOTICE ANYTHING
OUT OF THE ORDINARY?

NOT THAT I CAN REMEMBER.

WHEN DID YOU
COME HOME?

THAT'S THE DOG.
SHE ISN'T PROPERLY
HOUSE TRAINED.

NO, IT'S SWEET.

THE DOG'S
A LITTLE DIABETIC.

I THINK IT'S WINE OR--

OH, OH!

I KNOW
WHAT THAT MUST BE.

I CLOSED A VERY IMPORTANT
BUSINESS DEAL THIS MORNING,

AND WHEN I CAME HOME,
I OPENED A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE.

AS I WAS WALKING
THROUGH THE HOUSE CELEBRATING,

I CALLED TO BARBARA TO COME
AND SHARE THE MOMENT WITH ME.

SHE NEVER CAME.

THOSE MONSTERS!

EARL!

IT WAS HORRIBLE.

SHE WASN'T DRUGGED
OR ANYTHING.

WHAT HAPPENED?

SHE SCREAMED
AND SCREAMED,

AND GOD,
IT TOOK FOREVER!

IT MUST HAVE LASTED
TWO MINUTES.

HE KEPT STOPPING
AND STARTING.

HE'D LET HER
CATCH HER BREATH
AND START AGAIN.

SHE'D SCREAM
LOUDER AND LOUDER.

WHEN SHE FINALLY DIED,
HE LOOKED SO SATISFIED,

I THOUGHT
HE WAS GOING TO

LIGHT A CIGARETTE.

SON OF A BITCH
ENJOYED IT.

SAM'S JUST BEEN ON TV

CLAIMING SHE WAS KIDNAPPED.

SHE WASN'T KIDNAPPED.
HE KILLED HER.

HONEY, I KNOW.
IT'S AN ALIBI.

HE SAID THAT
TO THROW THE POLICE
OFF HIS TRAIL.

YOU'RE GOING TO
WATCH THAT?

I THINK I SHOULD.

BABY, YOU DON'T WANT TO.
IT'LL MAKE YOU SICK.

I THINK
I CAN TAKE IT.

OH, NO.

AAH! OHH!

OH! OH!

OOH! I CAN'T
WATCH THIS.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

HE ACTUALLY
WENT THROUGH WITH IT.

[GASPS]

STAY HERE.
DON'T COME OUT.

SAM'S HERE.

TA-DA!

* ZIP-A-DEE DOO-DAH

* ZIP-A-DEE-AY

* MY, OH, MY,
WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY! *

I'VE BEEN
WATCHING YOU ON TV.

GOOD PERFORMANCE, SAM.

WHAT A STORY!

"BARBARA STONE KIDNAPPED."

I COULDN'T HAVE MADE UP
ANYTHING BETTER.

IT'S BRILLIANT!

AND THE PRESS
LOVES IT.

WELL, THAT'S
VERY CLEVER, SAM.

IT'S INSPIRED.

IMAGINE--SOMEONE
DEMANDING MONEY FROM ME

TO KEEP BARBARA ALIVE.

UNBELIEVABLE!

IDIOTS!

COME ON.
LET'S HAVE A DRINK.

I CAN'T STAY LONG.

I'VE GOT TO GET BACK
AND LOOK SAD.

THE POLICE BELIEVED YOU?

THEY ATE IT UP.

I FED 'EM A BANQUET
OF BULLSHIT.

I THREW THEM OFF
BY MILES.

ALL I HAVE TO DO
IS JUST DO NOTHING.

I HAVE TO SHOW UP
AT THE FICTITIOUS
RANSOM DROP.

YOU MADE UP YOUR OWN
RANSOM DROP?

NATURALLY.
I GOT NEWS
FOR YOU, CAROL.

THAT WOMAN
AIN'T COMIN' BACK.

I KNOW.

HA HA HA!

DID YOU HAVE
ANY TROUBLE?

NAH! I'M TELLING YOU,
I ENJOYED IT!

I'M HAVING FUN.

[POP!]

AAH!

WE'LL CLEAN
THE RUG, HONEY.

OH! HA HA! OH!

FOR YOU, MY CUPCAKE.

TO THE KIDNAPPERS.

TO THE FUTURE
MRS. SAM STONE.

UMM!

WHOOPS! I GOT TO RUN.

I'M SORRY.

I WAS HOPING WE'D HAVE
TIME FOR A LITTLE...

UNH!

POKE IN THE WHISKERS.

WHAT A SHAME.

I'LL TAKE A RAIN CHECK
AND A FEW BONBONS.

* ZIP-A-DEE DOO-DAH

* ZIP-A-DEE-AY...

MOOSE ALWAYS WINDS UP
WITH AN OPPONENT.

MERDO'S GOING TO GET
A TASTE--

[CRASH]

OOH, MY. LOOK
AT ALL THAT HAIR...

OR FUR, IF YOU WOULD.

YOU OK?

SHE'S OUT!

HELP! POLICE!

GET THE CHLOROFORM!

POLICE!
SOMEBODY HELP ME!

UHH!

AAH!

GET ME THE POLICE!
I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED!

GOD!

HOW DO I KNOW
WHERE I AM?

GOOD.

NOW BE QUIET
AND DON'T MOVE.

NICE FACES.

NICE, EASILY
IDENTIFIABLE FACES.

BOO!
AAAH!

I CAN'T DO THIS
ANYMORE!

OW!

GOD, THAT HURTS!

AH. OHH!

AAH!

AAH! OH!

AH!

[whirr...]

[Whirr...WHIRR!]

AAH!

OH!

OH! AAH!

MMM!

MMM! MMM!

AAH!

AAH! UGH. UH...

THIS IS SERGEANT BLAKE
AT THE LAB.

I'D LIKE A PURCHASE SEARCH
ON UNIROYAL MODEL NXP.

THAT'S RIGHT,
FOR ALL OF L.A. COUNTY.

THIS IS ACTION NEWSBREAK.

POLICE ARE AT THE SCENE
OF A MURDER IN INGLEWOOD.

IT MAY BE ANOTHER ATTACK
BY THE BEDROOM KILLER.

POLICE ARE ASKING ANYONE
WHO HAS SEEN THIS MAN

TO CONTACT THEM AT...

POLICE HAVE ISSUED
A WARNING

THAT THIS MAN
IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS,

AND CITIZENS SHOULD NOT ATTEMPT
TO APPREHEND HIM.

THIS IS
ACTION NEWS BREAK.

AWAY IT GOES.

TRYING TO BEAT--

MONEY--VERY SOUND--

6, KEEP GOING.
STEADY. NICE AND TALL.

COME ON.
KNEES UP AND REACH.

GET THOSE HEELS DOWN

AND PULL THOSE
ABDOMINALS IN.

PULL THEM IN.
SUCK THEM UP.

IF YOU'RE STILL ON THAT COUCH
EATING THAT DOUGHNUT,

PUT IT DOWN AND GET UP.

3, 4.

STANDING NICE AND TALL.
HEELS DOWN AND FRONT.

COME ON, REACH.

GET THOSE PEPPERONI THIGHS
NICE AND HIGH,

AND REACH.
DO IT A LITTLE HIGHER.

SQUEEZE THOSE BUNS.

REMEMBER, IF YOU DON'T,
NO ONE ELSE WILL.

[PANTING]

DON'T FORGET TO BREATHE.

AHH! AH. AH.

WHAT IF HE
DOESN'T SHOW?

WELL, THEN YOU
GET TO KEEP HER.

EVERYTHING'S
GOING TO WORK.

I'LL CALL YOU.

SANDY,
HE'S GOING TO SHOW.

IT'S HIS WIFE.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[RING]

[RING]

WHERE ARE YOU, SAM?

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

YOU SON OF A BITCH.

I'M GONNA TURN
YOUR TRANSMITTER ON.

YOU CAN'T SEE
THE MICROPHONE?

NO. IT
LOOKS FINE.

MR. STONE...
TELEPHONE.

HELLO.

MR. STONE,
WE HAD A MEETING.

YEAH, HARRY, I HAVE
SOME FRIENDS HERE.

WHY DON'T YOU CALL ME
ON MY OFFICE LINE?

555-7583, RIGHT?

BUSINESS ASSOCIATE.

555-7583. 555-7583.

[RING]

HELLO.

MR. STONE, WHY HAVE
YOU FAILED TO APPEAR

AT THE DESIGNATED
DESTINATION?

I JUST COULDN'T
MAKE IT.

THE COPS ARE
THERE, RIGHT?

THAT'S RIGHT.
REPORTERS, TOO.

ALL RIGHT, MR. STONE.
I'M A REASONABLE MAN.

I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU
ONE MORE CHANCE.

WE WILL RESCHEDULE
OUR RENDEZVOUS
FOR WEDNESDAY.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

YOU'RE RESCHEDULING?

YES, I AM.

SO SHE'S STILL ALIVE?

SHE'S IN
PERFECT HEALTH.

UH...

IN OUR PREVIOUS
DISCUSSION,

YOU MENTIONED
THAT YOU WOULD...
UM...KILL MY WIFE

IF PROCEDURE WASN'T
FOLLOWED ACCURATELY,

AND THAT STILL GOES?

DEFINITELY.

UH...WHAT METHOD
WOULD YOU USE?

A BULLET
THROUGH THE HEAD...

AT CLOSE RANGE.

THAT WOULD DO IT.
NO QUESTION.

UM...WELL, YOU'VE
GOT ME CONVINCED.

UNTIL WEDNESDAY.

TILL WEDNESDAY, THEN.

MUFFY...

YOU'VE TAKEN
YOUR LAST PISS ON MY RUG.

TELL MR. STONE
IT'S TIME TO LEAVE
FOR THE RANSOM DROP.

I HOPE HE'S NOT--

[GUNSHOTS]

OH, MY GOD!

[RUFF RUFF]

IT JUST...
IT JUST WENT OFF.

* COAST TO COAST,
VIA SATELLITE *

* THE GREATEST SHOW
IN TOWN *

* TONIGHT WE CROWN
THE CHAMPION, YEAH *

* SO SPREAD THE WORD
AROUND *

* WHO'S THE BEST?

* PASS THE TEST

* WHO'S GOT THAT LOOK
IN THEIR EYES? *

BETTER GIVE HIM
A CALL.

[RING]

[RING]

HELLO?

THIS IS BENDER.

IT'S BEEN AN HOUR.
HE HASN'T SHOWN UP.

I DON'T THINK
THEY WILL.

WHY DON'T YOU
GO HOME?

WE'LL SEND
AN UNMARKED CAR
TO FOLLOW YOU.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

GIVE ME YOUR MONEY, JACK,
BEFORE I KILL YOU.

COME ON.
COME ON.

HERE YOU GO.

GIVE ME YOUR WALLET

BEFORE I STICK THIS
RIGHT THROUGH YOUR BACK.

ALL RIGHT.
YO, MY WALLET.

AND YOUR JEWELRY--
YOUR WATCH, RINGS,
EVERYTHING.

YOU WANT MY UNDERWEAR, TOO,
YOU PIECE OF SHIT?

HERE.

THIS TOWN'S GOT
SOME NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH.

I BROUGHT YOU
MORE MAGAZINES.

MORE MAGAZINES?

HOW LONG DO YOU PLAN
ON KEEPING ME?

AS SOON AS MR. STONE
PAYS THE RANSOM.

IT SHOULD BE MONDAY.

GOOD. I'D HATE TO MISS
MY DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT.

DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT?
DO YOU NEED MEDICATION?

I GET
A URINE INJECTION.

YOU GET URINE
INJECTED? WHY?

IT PROMOTES WEIGHT LOSS.

DOES IT WORK?

YEAH, IT WORKS.

"LANCOME THROAT
AND FIRMING
MASSAGE CREAMS,

"SPERM WHALE OIL,

ROYAL QUEEN BEE
JELLY."

WE CAN'T AFFORD
THESE THINGS.

THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM.
IT'S YOURS.

SUPPLY THESE, AND
I'LL TELL THE JURY
YOU ACTED HUMANELY.

IT MIGHT MAKE
THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN LIFE--

[CRASH]

AND THE CHAIR.

A-A-A-A-AAGH!

UHH! UHH!

UGH...

OR THE GAS CHAMBER.

[HISS...]

[GASPING]

SOMETIMES, IF IT'S
A FIRING SQUAD,

THEY MISS ALL
THE MAJOR ARTERIES.

BANG!

AND YOU DON'T DIE
RIGHT AWAY.

YOU KIND OF JUST...
HANG ON...

BLEEDING...

BLEEDING...

UHH! BLEEDING...

AAH!

ENDLESSLY.

[DOOR SLAMS]

I WANT YOU TO MAIL THIS
FROM ACROSS TOWN.

I DON'T WANT
HIM SEEING

THE POSTMARK
FROM MY NEIGHBORHOOD.

RIGHT. YOU'RE
GOOD AT THIS.

WE CAN'T BE
TOO CAREFUL WITH SAM.

HE'S A VERY
SUSPICIOUS MAN.

YEAH.

I'VE GOT TO SEE HIM
ONE MORE TIME.

IF I DON'T SEE HIM
ON HIS BIRTHDAY,

HE'LL BE VERY,
VERY SUSPICIOUS.

HE'LL BE EXPECTING
HIS USUAL PRESENT.

IT'S BEEN HORRIBLE.

NO MATTER
WHAT I DO,

SHE JUST TEARS
INTO ME.

SHE HATES ME.

SANDY, YOU'RE
HER KIDNAPPER.

SHE'S SUPPOSED
TO HATE YOU.

I'LL TAKE IT.

OK.

JUST IGNORE HER.

HEEYA!

NO DINNER
FOR YOU, THEN.

GEE WHIZ!
THAT REALLY HURTS.

I'M A REAL AFICIONADO
OF DEATH CAMP CUISINE!

LOOK...

AS LONG
AS YOU'RE HERE,

WHY DON'T YOU
JUST PRETEND

TO BE A GUEST?

[WOLF WHISTLE]

NICE BUTT.

THAT'S WHAT
THEY'LL SAY.

BEG YOUR PARDON?

NICE BUTT.

THAT'S WHAT THEY'LL SAY
ON YOUR FIRST DAY

IN THE MEN'S CLUB.

MEN'S CLUB?

THE SAN QUENTIN
COUNTRY CLUB.

YOU'LL BE THE BELLE
OF THE BALL.

YOUR DANCE CARD WILL BE
FILLED EVERY DAY.

YOU'LL BE
SO POPULAR,

MAKING ALL KINDS
OF NEW, CLOSE FRIENDS--

BIG, UGLY,
HAIRY FRIENDS.

NOT THAT YOU'LL SEE
WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE

'CAUSE YOU'LL BE
FACING THE OTHER WAY.

YOU'RE VERY GOOD
AT THIS.

YOU SHOULD WRITE
CHILDREN'S BOOKS.

[RUFF! RUFF!]

OH, GET! GET AWAY!

GET OUT OF HERE,
YOU SMELLY PIECE OF...

GET! GET! GO ON!

DO YOUR ATTACK DOGS
JUST ATTACK PEOPLE,

OR CAN YOU GET THEM
TO ATTACK LITTLE DOGS?

WELL, WHAT IF YOU
STARVED THEM FOR A WHILE?

OH. ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.

[BEEP]

YEAH?

MISS FARNSWORTH
TO SEE YOU.

SEND HER IN.

[DOOR OPENS]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SAM.

I BROUGHT YOU
YOUR PRESENT.

OH, YEAH?
WHERE IS IT?

HERE IT IS, SAM.

DOES IT MEET WITH
YOUR SATISFACTION?

MMM...

IS THERE
ANYTHING ELSE
YOU DESIRE?

HOW ABOUT A BIG DOG?

CAN YOU GET ONE?

A BIG DOG?

YEAH, LIKE A GREAT DANE
OR A MASTIFF.

HOW BIG'S
A SHEPHERD GET?

SAM, AS SEXUALLY
PROVOCATIVE

AS I LIKE
TO THINK I AM--

I'M NOT ASKING YOU
TO SCREW THE DOG, CAROL.

IT'S FOR ME.

[MUSIC PLAYS]

SEE, THAT'S
WHAT I'VE GOT.

IT'S THE BEST
THEY CARRY.

CAN I HELP YOU?

YEAH. KATIE'S HERE
TO GET A STEREO,

AND I'M SEEING
THAT SHE DOESN'T
GET RIPPED OFF.

DON'T WORRY.
I'M NOT LIKE
THE OTHERS.

HOW MUCH DID YOU
WANT TO SPEND?

$500.
$800.

$500.

OK. I THINK
I HAVE AN IDEA.

LET'S START
WITH SPEAKERS.

OVER HERE, WE HAVE
A GREAT SPEAKER--

THE CENTURY EV-1.

CONSUMER STEREO RATED
THIS A BEST BUY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THIS ONE?

THE DOMINATOR X-1?

WELL, THE DOMINATOR'S
A GOOD MARKETING IDEA,

BUT IT'S REALLY NOT
A GOOD SPEAKER.

WE MARK IT UP 500%
AND SELL IT AT 50% OFF.

THE CUSTOMER THINKS
HE'S GETTING A DEAL,

AND WE MAKE A BUNDLE.

IT'S SO BIG
AND IMPRESSIVE.

SIZE MEANS
VERY LITTLE.

BIGGER IS NOT
NECESSARILY BETTER.

I SOUND LIKE
DR. RUTH. HA HA HA!

YOU MEAN
THE DOMINATOR'S
LIKE A...

THE DOMINATORS ARE
VERY POPULAR WITH MEN

WHO'D LIKE TO HAVE
BIGGER...UH...

EQUIPMENT?

EXACTLY.

ALL RIGHT,
LET'S TRY THIS ONE.

THE KNEES ARE BENT DOWN.
HIPS TUCKED UNDER.

WE'RE GOING TO
WORK ON THE WAIST--
LOOSEN IT UP.

OUT, AND REACH
AS FAR AS YOU CAN.

KEEP GOING. OK, LEFT.

HOLD IT TO THE LEFT.

REACH AS FAR
AS YOU CAN.

REACH THE RIGHT ARM UP.

VERY SLOWLY TWIST
THROUGH THE RIB CAGE,

AND THEN SLOWLY LIFT
THAT RIGHT LEG UP

AND HOLD IT. ALL RIGHT.

AAH...

KEEP HOLDING IT.

DOESN'T THAT FEEL GOOD?

MUFFY? OH, MUFFY?

[GROWL...]

[RUFF RUFF]

MUFFY...MEET ADOLPH.

ADOLPH, EAT MUFFY.

BON APPETIT, ADOLPH.

JUNK. GARBAGE.
GARBAGE. JUNK.

WHAT DO WE GOT HERE?

AAH!

AAH! OH!

AH! OH!

AAH!

OH...

AH! AH! OH!

OH! OH! OH. UH.

AH! UH...UH...

OH! OH! AHH...

AAH!

OHH! OHH!

MORE!

OH. HA HA HA!

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO.

CAROL,
I GOT YOUR TAPE.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

THE TAPE.
THE VIDEOTAPE.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
IT WAS ME?

WHO ELSE WOULD SEND ME
SOMETHING LIKE THIS?

OHH!

IT'S SAM.
HE'S ONTO US.

HOW THE HELL
DID YOU GET
THIS, CAROL?

A FRIEND OF MINE
TOOK IT.

IT'S TERRIFIC.

I KNOW WHY YOU SENT ME
THIS TAPE, HONEY.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M GOING TO DO?

I'M GOING TO DO
THE SAME THING WITH YOU,

AND YOU, TOO, CAN
SCREAM YOUR BRAINS OUT

BECAUSE NO ONE'S
GOING TO HEAR.

YOU ARE GOING TO BE
BEGGING ME FOR MERCY.

WHIMPERING. HA HA HA!

HERE SHE GOES AGAIN.
LISTEN TO THIS.

THIS IS
MY FAVORITE PART.

AAH! AAH! AAAAH!

AAH!

HE'S GOING TO
KILL ME.

HE'S GOING TO
TORTURE ME
AND KILL ME.

I CAN'T STAY HERE.

I'M GOING TO
HAVE TO STAY...

AT YOUR PLACE.

[HORNS HONKING]

* WELL, JIMMY LEE WAS HOOKIN'
ROUND THE FAR TURN *

* OF A FUNKY SOUTHERN FLORIDA
DIRT TRACK *

* HE HAD MUD CAKED
ON HIS GOGGLES *

* AND A SCREAMIN' 350
STACKED UP ON HIS BACK *

* WELL, AS HE PASSED
THE STANDS *

* HE WAS FEELIN'
ALL TUCKERED OUT *

* WHEN THROUGH THE ROAR
OF HIS ENGINE... *

DON'T WORRY, HONEY.

YOU CAN STAY HERE
AS LONG AS YOU WANT.

AW, SHOOT!

CROCKETT AND TUBBS--
THEY'RE FLOATING.

I CAN'T SIT HERE
AND WAIT FOR HIM

TO TRACK ME DOWN
AND KILL ME.

WE'VE GOT TO GET SAM
PUT IN JAIL.

I WANT YOU TO MAKE

ANOTHER COPY
OF THAT TAPE,

AND THIS ONE'S
FOR THE POLICE.

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

I GUESS IT'S JUST
A MATTER OF TIME

BEFORE YOU'RE CAUGHT,
RIGHT, HONEYBUNS?

BARBARA, I WANT TO ASK YOU
A PERSONAL QUESTION.

YOU AND MR. STONE...

DID YOU GET ALONG?

[FOOTSTEPS]

SO, WHAT DID
SHE SAY?

SHE JUST INSULTED ME.

I DON'T THINK
HE LOVES HER.

FACE IT, SHE'S
NOT MOTHER TERESA.

GANDHI WOULD HAVE
STRANGLED HER.

WHAT ARE WE
GOING TO DO?

I'M TIRED OF BEING
SCARED ALL THE TIME.

I CAN'T TAKE THIS
ANYMORE.

I KNOW HE'S BLUFFING.

I JUST KNOW IT.

I'VE GOT TO BE
REALLY TOUGH WITH HIM.

NEVER LET
THE SELLER KNOW
YOU'RE HOT TO TROT.

TELL HIM YOU HAVEN'T
GOT THE MONEY.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

DEBBIE?

YEAH, DEBBIE'S HERE.
WHO'S THIS?

WELL, RALPH,
DEBBIE CAN'T TALK
RIGHT NOW.

MY DICK'S IN HER MOUTH.

HOW ABOUT I HAVE HER
CALL YOU BACK
WHEN I'M DONE?

I LOVE WRONG NUMBERS.

ANYWAY, TELL HIM YOU
DON'T HAVE THE MONEY.

THAT IT'S ALL TIED UP
IN INVESTMENTS.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HANG ON.

A BAD SALESMAN
AUTOMATICALLY
DROPS HIS PRICE.

BAD SALESMEN
MAKE ME SICK.

HELLO?

MR. STONE...
DO YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE?

HANG ON.

WOULD YOU
EXCUSE ME, PLEASE?

SURE, MR. STONE.

GO AHEAD.

MR. STONE, YOU LOVE
YOUR WIFE, DON'T YOU?

SURE, I LOVE HER.

MR. STONE, WE DEMAND
A SATISFACTORY
EXPLANATION

WHY YOU HAVEN'T SHOWN
WITH THE MONEY.

YOU'RE ASKING
A LOT OF CASH.

I HAVEN'T GOT
THAT KIND OF MONEY.

IT'S ALL TIED UP
IN INVESTMENTS.

I'M SORRY.

SORRY? WHAT DO
YOU MEAN, "SORRY"?

NO CAN DO.

WHAT?!

NO DEAL.

TAKE YOUR BUSINESS
ELSEWHERE.

WHAT?

NO CASHOLA.

UH...WH-WH-WHAT
ABOUT...LESS?

YOU MAKE ME SICK.

MAKE ME AN OFFER.

UH...BRING--

BRING 50,000...

IN UNMARKED BILLS...

TO THE SAME PHONE...

ON--AT NOON
ON THURSDAY.

THURSDAY.
TOMORROW'S THURSDAY.
YOU MEAN TOMORROW?

YES, TOMORROW!

BRING 50,000
TOMORROW!

AND IF I DON'T?

YOU'LL SEE YOUR WIFE
IN THE MORGUE, PAL.

MR. STONE, WE THINK
WE'VE FOUND YOUR WIFE.

WE'LL NEED YOU
TO COME IDENTIFY
THE BODY.

UH-HUH.

THAT'S NOT HER.

THERE MUST
BE SOME MISTAKE.

WE WANT THE WOMAN
WHO WAS BROUGHT IN
THIS MORNING.

JANE DOE 56?
SHE'S IN THE NEXT ROOM.

IT LOOKS LIKE HER...
A LOT LIKE HER,

BUT IT'S NOT HER.

MY BARBARA,
SHE'S ALIVE!

[SOBBING]

* YOU SEE HER SITTIN'
WITH HER COFFEE AND HER PAPER *

* WITH HER HIGH TOP
SNEAKERS *

* OF ITALIAN DESIGN

* WITH A LONG, COOL STARE,
SHE AGGRAVATES THE TENSION *

* MAKES UP HER FACE
WHILE SHE MAKES UP HER MIND *

* NOW YOU'RE IN TROUBLE

* MAYBE SHE'S
AN INTELLECTUAL *

* WHAT IF SHE FIGURES OUT
YOU'RE NOT VERY SMART? *

* OR MAYBE SHE'S
THE QUIET TYPE *

* WHO'S INTO HEAVY METAL

* BOY, YOU GOT TO
GET IT SETTLED *

* 'CAUSE SHE'S
BREAKIN' YOUR HEART *

* DON'T TRY TO
PUT ON AN ACT *

* YOU CAN'T DO THAT
TO A MODERN WOMAN *

* AND YOU'RE
AN OLD-FASHIONED MAN *

* SHE UNDERSTANDS
THE THINGS YOU'RE DOIN' *

* SHE'S A MODERN WOMAN

* SHE'S A MODERN WOMAN

* SHE'S A MODERN WOMAN

AAH! AAH!

AAH!

AAH! AAH!

AAH! AAH!

MORE!

AAH! AAH!

UHH!

UNH! AAH!

UHH! UHH!

[BEEP]

[CLICK]

[CLICK]

YES?

SIR,
THERE'S SOMEONE
ON THE PHONE.

THEY SAY
THEY SENT YOU
THAT TAPE.

PUT THEM THROUGH,
PLEASE.

HELLO?

HELLO. IS THIS
CHIEF BENTON?

UH...YES.

I'M THE ONE
WHO SENT YOU THE TAPE.

HAVE YOU HAD
A LOOK AT IT YET?

YES.
I JUST SAW IT.

SO WHAT DO YOU
THINK?

WELL, OBVIOUSLY
IT'S VERY UPSETTING.

THIS WHOLE THING'S
MAKING ME ILL.

OH, I AGREE.
THAT POOR WOMAN.

SHE HAD TO GO THROUGH
A LIVING HELL.

I'D RATHER DIE
A QUICK DEATH.

ALL RIGHT!
ALL RIGHT!

WHAT DO YOU
WANT FROM ME?

WELL,
ARRESTING SAM STONE
WOULD BE A GOOD START.

YOU WANT ME
TO ARREST SAM STONE?

ANY SPECIAL REASON
WHY I SHOULD
ARREST HIM?

FOR MURDERING
HIS WIFE!

MURDER? WELL,
UH...ALL RIGHT. OK.

BUT YOU KNOW
IT'S NOT GOING TO
BE EASY.

I'LL NEED EVIDENCE.

THAT TAPE ISN'T ENOUGH
TO CONVINCE YOU?

GEEZ.

THINK OF THE PUBLICITY
YOU'LL GET.

ALL RIGHT!
ALL RIGHT!

I'M CONVINCED.

I'LL HAVE SAM STONE
ARRESTED.

THANK YOU.

SAM STONE?

CHIEF BENTON.

THE INVESTIGATION'S
TAKING A NEW DIRECTION.

WE'VE REASON TO BELIEVE
STONE MAY HAVE MURDERED
HIS WIFE.

MR. STONE?
OH, NO.

COMB THIS PLACE
UNTIL YOU FIND
SOMETHING.

YES, SIR.

[ARF ARF]

MUFFY!

THERE YOU ARE.

AWW.

WHERE HAVE YOU
BEEN, HUH?

LITTLE GIRL.

OH, YEAH.
THE BIG DOG
WON'T HURT YOU, HUH?

JUST A BIG--

WHAT IS IT?

CHIEF BENTON,
I FOUND THIS--

CHLOROFORM.

WILLIAMS FOUND
SNAPSHOTS OF STONE
WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.

REALLY?

JACKPOT.

KEN KESSLER?

WE'RE
POLICE OFFICERS.

I'M LIEUTENANT
BENDER.

THIS IS
LIEUTENANT WALTERS.

MAY WE HAVE
A WORD WITH YOU?

OH, SURE.
COME UPSTAIRS.

WE CAN TALK
IN THE SALESMEN'S OFFICE.

HAVE A SEAT.

MR. KESSLER,
OVER A WEEK AGO

A LADY NAMED
BARBARA STONE
WAS KIDNAPPED.

ARE YOU FAMILIAR
WITH THIS?

YEAH.
I READ ABOUT IT.

WE BELIEVE
THE VEHICLE
THE KIDNAPPERS USED

LEFT A TIRE PRINT
IN HER DRIVEWAY.

WE TOOK A MOLD
AND ANALYZED IT.

THESE ARE THE PRINTS
OF THE KIDNAPPERS' CAR.

THESE ARE THE PRINTS
OF YOUR CAR.

[BEEPING]

IS THERE A PHONE
I CAN USE?

UH...SURE.
IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE,
UH...ON THE DESK.

HUH.

AMAZING SIMILARITY.

WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME?
I'VE GOT TO GO TO
THE BATHROOM.

I'VE GOT A TOUCH
OF THE STOMACH FLU.

SURE.
GO RIGHT AHEAD.

CHLOROFORM?

WHAT ABOUT
FINGERPRINTS?

BINGO.
WE HAVE A WINNER.

YOU WON'T
BELIEVE THIS.

THEY FOUND EVIDENCE
IMPLICATING STONE.

STONE?
YOU'RE KIDDING.

CHLOROFORM
AND FINGERPRINTS.

I'LL BE DAMNED.

LET'S GET OUT
OF HERE.

WHERE'S KESSLER?

IN THE JOHN.

UHH.

[CRASH]

OOHH.

STOMACH FLU.

MR. KESSLER?

I'LL BE
RIGHT OUT!

DON'T BOTHER, SIR!

THANK YOU
FOR YOUR HELP.

WE'LL JUST
SHOW OURSELVES OUT.

OOHH!

ARRGH.

UNH.

HELLO.

MR. STONE, WE CAME
CLOSE TO KILLING
YOUR WIFE,

BUT SHE BEGGED US
REPEATEDLY

FOR JUST
ONE MORE CHANCE.

IN THE SPIRIT
OF COMPASSION
AND MERCY,

WE DECIDED
NOT TO KILL HER.

COMPASSION AND MERCY?

WHAT THE HELL'S
GOING ON?

I THOUGHT YOU PEOPLE
WERE RUTHLESS.

WE ARE, MR. STONE--

THEN WHAT'S
THIS PHONE CALL ABOUT?

WE CALLED TO
MAKE YOU AN OFFER,

AN OFFER EVEN YOU
CAN'T REFUSE.

OH?

YEAH.

10,000.

FAT CHANCE!

MR. STONE,
THIS IS NO JOKE!

WE'RE
DESPERATE PEOPLE!

I BELIEVE
THIS IS A JOKE,
AND YOU'RE IT!

WHEN WE SPOKE LAST,
YOU SAID MY WIFE

WOULD BE IN THE MORGUE
IF I DIDN'T PAY.

I WAS AT THE MORGUE,
AND SHE WASN'T THERE.
YOU LIED.

KNOW WHAT I THINK?

NO.

YOU GOT NO NUTS!

DO I HAVE TO PUT
A GUN IN YOUR HAND,

AIM, AND PULL
YOUR FINGER DOWN,
YOU SPINELESS WIMP?

I DARE YOU
TO KILL HER!

NOW, THAT
OUGHT TO DO IT.

HEY, WANT TO
SELL ME A STEREO?

YEAH, I'LL
SELL YOU A STEREO.

I'M LOOKING
FOR SOMETHING HOT.

I DON'T WANT TO
GET RIPPED OFF.

OK.

YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR SOME REAL HOT
SPEAKERS, RIGHT?

I'M NOT TALKING
ABOUT SOMETHING
YOU JUST LISTEN TO.

I'M TALKING ABOUT
THE KIND OF SOUND
YOU CAN FEEL.

YEAH!

YOU KNOW
WHAT I MEAN.

WHEN IT COMES
TO GREAT STEREO,

YOU CAN'T BEAT
BIG SPEAKERS.

I'M TALKING ABOUT
BIG SPEAKERS
WITH BIG WOOFERS.

LIKE THIS!

THIS HAS
A NICE LITTLE
8-INCH WOOFER,

OR THIS 10-INCHER.

OVER HERE, WE HAVE
A BIG 12-INCH.

BUT I CAN TELL
YOU WANT SOMETHING
EVEN BIGGER.

FUCK, YEAH.

"FUCK, YEAH"
IS RIGHT.

WE'VE GOT TO
GO TO THE BIG ROOM
FOR THIS.

THE BIG ROOM!

CHECK IT OUT,
MY MAN!

THE FLAGSHIP
OF THE DOMINATOR LINE--
THE MX-10.

I HAVE THESE.

30 INCHES
OF THIGH-SLAPPING,
BLOOD-PUMPING

NUCLEAR
BRAIN DAMAGE.

BITCHIN'! HEY,
WHAT'S IT FUCKING COST?

THAT'S THE GREAT PART!
IT DON'T MATTER.

IF YOU
CAN'T AFFORD IT,
FINANCE IT!

[ROCK 'N' ROLL PLAYS]

* KICK IT OUT!
KICK IT OUT! *

YEAH!

WOOO!

YEAH!

SO WHAT IF IT'S
AS BIG AS A SUBARU

AND COSTS AS MUCH?

YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO
TRADE THIS IN!

WHEN YOU DIE,
THEY CAN BURY YOU IN IT!

I WANT IT!

YEAH!

* WE'RE BETTER OFF DEAD

* YEAH, FISHHOOK,
ELECTRIC PROD *

* STICK A NEEDLE
IN MY MOUTH *

THIS GUY IS OK.

THE FIRST GUY
I CAN TRUST!

WHY DON'T I SHOW YOU
SOMETHING ELSE?

THEY'RE NOT
VERY BIG,

BUT THEY'RE RATED
THE BEST BUY--
THE CENTURY EV-1s.

THEY'RE NOT
GOING TO BREAK YOU.

KICK THEM UP!
A LITTLE MORE.

KICK IT OUT!

TWO MORE!

THAT'S IT!

WHEW!
I'M POOPED!

LET'S TAKE A BREAK.

TAKE A BREAK?

COME ON,
YOU LITTLE WIMP!

LET'S GO!

WELL,
HERE'S YOUR LUNCH.

IT'S FRUIT SALAD.

YOU SEEM TO
LIKE THAT THE MOST,

ALTHOUGH YOU DON'T
EAT MUCH.

MY BODY'S BECOME
A MORE EFFICIENT
MACHINE.

I GO FARTHER
WITH LESS FOOD.

YOU MUST BE
IN GOOD SHAPE.

YOU LOOK GOOD.

YOU'VE--YOU'VE LOST
A LOT OF WEIGHT.

HUH?

WHAT?

OH, YEAH. YOU'VE LOST
A LOT OF WEIGHT.

AT LEAST 20 POUNDS.

WHAT?

20--DO--DO YOU
HAVE A SCALE?

I DON'T KNOW HOW
TO THANK YOU!

THANK ME?

I'VE BEEN TO--

10 DIFFERENT FAT FARMS
IN THE LAST--

I DON'T KNOW
HOW MANY YEARS.

I LOST A TOTAL
OF 6 POUNDS.

I HAVE LOST 20 POUNDS!

I WASN'T SURE,
BUT...IT FELT THIN.

YOU WOULDN'T HAVE A--
NEVER MIND.

A--A WHAT?

NO, NO, NO.

IT'S--IT'S VERY SILLY.

NO, WHAT?
PLEASE TELL ME.

OH...ALL MY LIFE
I WANTED TO HAVE

A SLINKY LITTLE FIGURE
SO I COULD WEAR SOME...

BILL BLASS,
OR...VALENTINO.

SOME EXOTIC
FULL-LENGTH EVENING GOWN
LIKE CHRISTIAN DIOR.

ARE--ARE YOU
KIDDING ME?
YOU'RE KIDDING ME!

I'M SORRY.

I KNOW IT'S RIDICULOUS
TO THINK SOMEBODY
OF YOUR...

MODERATE MEANS--

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!
DON'T GO ANYWHERE, OK?

SAM STONE?

YOU'RE
UNDER ARREST.

FOR MIXING COTTON
WITH SILK?

* FOXY

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY
BEAUTIFUL!

WHOSE DESIGN IS THIS?
IS THIS BILL BLASS?

IS THIS ALBERT NIPON?

TOO CONVENTIONAL.

I KNOW.
OSCAR DE LA RENTA.

I DESIGNED IT.

GET OUT OF HERE!
REALLY?

WOW!

YOU'RE
A PROFESSIONAL?

NAH.

YOU ARE!
THIS IS SENSATIONAL!

DO YOU HAVE MORE?

WAIT!

* YEAH

* I WON'T DO YOU
NO HARM, NO *

* YOU GOT TO BE
ALL MINE, ALL MINE *

* WOO, FOXY LADY

* FOXY

SO SAM TOLD YOU
I WAS HIS PARTNER?

NO WAY!

HE WAS JUST
PASSING THE BUCK.

OH...

SO...WHEN DO I
GET OUT OF HERE?

AS SOON AS MR. STONE
PAYS THE RANSOM.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
WHAT'S THE RANSOM?

IT--IT WAS $500,000.

THAT SHOULDN'T
BE A PROBLEM.

HE COMPLAINED.

HE COMPLAINED?

AND THEN WE
DROPPED OUR PRICE

TO $50,000.

YEAH?

HE DIDN'T PAY.

HE DIDN'T PAY?

SO NOW WHAT?

SO NOW WE'RE DROPPING
OUR PRICE AGAIN
TO $10,000.

DO I UNDERSTAND
THIS CORRECTLY?

I'M BEING
MARKED DOWN?

WHAT IS THIS,
THE BARGAIN BASEMENT?

I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED
BY K-MART.

OH, DON'T CRY,
BARBARA.

HEY,
CHECK IT OUT.

YOU SURE ARE PRETTY.

ALL RIGHT, STONE.
LET'S GO!

HEY, IS IT
SOMETHING I SAID?

ALTHOUGH IT'S
A CAPITAL CRIME,

THE ACCUSED IS
AN UPSTANDING MEMBER
OF THE COMMUNITY,

A RESPONSIBLE AND SUCCESSFUL
BUSINESSMAN,

AND HAS NEVER BEFORE
POSED A THREAT TO SOCIETY.

BAIL WILL BE GRANTED
AND SET AT, UM...

$700,000.

[BANG]

YOU WANT TO TRY
FOR A REDUCTION?

NO. LET'S GET
OUT OF HERE.

THAT FILTHY SLUG.
THAT SCREECHING WITCH.

THAT PASTY-FACED TROLL.

THE JUDGE?

MY WIFE. I GOT TO
GET HER BACK.

SANDY?

KENNY?

IT'S OVER.
SAM ISN'T GOING TO
PAY THE RANSOM.

I'M NO CRIMINAL.
I CAN'T EVEN
SELL RETAIL...

AND THAT'S LEGAL.

WE GOT TO GET PACKING
AND GET OUT.

I'VE GOT
SOME VERY INTERESTING
NEWS FOR YOU.

I AM THE NEW
RISING STAR

IN HIGH FASHION!

LET'S GET A GRIP
ON OURSELVES.

WE'RE GOING TO
MEXICO.

DOES THAT MEAN
WE LET BARBARA GO?

WE'RE NOT
TAKING HER WITH US.

I'VE ALREADY
LET HER GO.

WHAT?
YOU LET HER GO?

OH, MY GOD!

YOU LET HER RUN OUT?

YEAH!

OH, MY GOD!

SHE KNOWS
WHERE WE LIVE.

THE POLICE WILL
BE HERE ANY MINUTE!

NO. SHE REALLY
LIKES US NOW.

I SHOWED HER
MY GOWNS.
SHE LOVES THEM!

WE'RE ALL GOING
INTO BUSINESS
TOGETHER.

WE'LL OPEN
OUR FALL LINE
IN PARIS.

SHE REALLY,
TRULY LOVES ME!

SHE CAN
BE TRUSTED!
SHE'S CHANGED!

CHANGED?
DID YOU PERFORM
AN EXORCISM?

KEN, SHE LOST
NEARLY 20 POUNDS.

YOU HAD TO BE THERE.
IT WAS A SPECIAL MOMENT.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

I'M SURPRISED
THEY KNOCKED.

OH!

GOOD AFTERNOON.

I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU'VE SEEN
THIS MAN.

HE WAS SIGHTED
IN THE AREA
A FEW WEEKS AGO.

HE'S PSYCHOTIC
AND EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.

HE'S KILLED
SIX PEOPLE.

I GOT TO GET
OUT OF HERE!

MY WIFE, SHE'S...
LATE FOR WORK.

DOESN'T LOOK
FAMILIAR.

KEEP THIS
AND GIVE US A CALL
IF YOU DO SEE HIM.

DON'T TRY
TO SUBDUE HIM.

HE'S
EXTREMELY VIOLENT.

HE LOOKS IT.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
OFFICER.

SANDY!

IT'S OK!
IT'S OK!

THEY'RE LOOKING
FOR SOMEBODY ELSE.

I'LL GET THE OTHER SUITCASE
FROM THE BASEMENT.

AAH!

HELLO?

HELLO?

ANYBODY HOME?

OH, HELLO.
ARE YOU A FRIEND
OF KEN AND SANDY'S?

YOU...

LOOK LIKE
MY MOTHER.

I HATE MY MOTHER.

OOH.

NO.

OOH.

YOU...
YOU LOOK JUST LIKE
MY FATHER.

I HATE MY FATHER!

AAH!

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

OH, HONEY,
DON'T TOUCH HIM!

OH, MY GOD.

WHAT?

IT'S THE BEDROOM
KILLER.

HE TOLD ME I LOOKED
LIKE HIS MOTHER.

HE HATES HIS MOTHER.

HE'S DEAD.

SO, IF I LOOK LIKE
HIS MOTHER,

AND YOU LOOK LIKE
HIS FATHER,

THIS IS WHAT OUR SON
WOULD LOOK LIKE.

PRETTY STRONG ARGUMENT
FOR BIRTH CONTROL.

WHAT DO
WE DO NOW?

BARBARA,

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

I GOT IT.
I TELL YOU, I'VE GOT IT!

LISTEN TO THIS.

SAM ARRIVES
ON A MOTORCYCLE
WEARING SHORTS.

NO SHOES. NO SHIRT. NOTHING.
MAYBE JUST A JOCKSTRAP.

THEN WE SEND HIM
ALL OVER TOWN

IN THE MIDDLE
OF A HOT, SUNNY DAY.

SAM BURNS EASILY.

HE'LL BE BRIGHT RED
IN NO TIME.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS IS HAPPENING.

THEN HE COVERS HIMSELF
WITH HONEY

AND GOES
TO A BEE FARM.

THE BEES GO NUTS.

I DON'T THINK
SHE MEANS IT.

THEN WE WATCH WHILE
THEY STING HIM TO DEATH.

BARBARA, DON'T WE
WANT A PUNISHMENT
THAT WILL LAST?

MY GOD, HE MUST
HAVE BEEN SEEING
THIS WOMAN FOR YEARS.

CASTRATE HIM!

I WANT TO CASTRATE HIM.

WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER
IF WE STRUCK AT HIS CORE?

HIS REASON FOR LIVING?

WHAT WOULD THAT BE?

HIS TESTICLES.

WOULD YOU
KNOW WHAT SAM'S
TOTAL WORTH WOULD BE?

NOT JUST THE BIG STUFF.
THE LITTLE STUFF, TOO.

YEAH, I THINK SO.

GOOD.

I WANT YOU
TO WRITE IT DOWN
IN PLENTY OF DETAIL.

FIRE UP THE STOVE.
GET THE TOFU BURGERS.

WE'RE CALLING SAM.

MY TUX.
MY SILK TUX.

ET TU, ADOLPH?

ET TU?

[WHINING]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[RING]

HELLO?

HI, SAM.

OH, THANK GOD
IT'S YOU!

I'VE BEEN THINKING
ABOUT YOUR LAST OFFER.

$10,000 IS FAIR
AND ACCEPTABLE.

SHE'S
IN BAD SHAPE, SAM.

WE'VE BEEN
TORTURING HER.

[SIZZLING]

AAH!

[SIZZLING]

AAH!

DON'T KILL HER!

DON'T KILL HER.

WE DISCOVERED
YOUR WIFE'S WORTH
MORE THAN 10,000.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WE'VE UPPED
THE RANSOM.

TO WHAT?

$2 MILLION.

$2 MILLION?

ARE YOU OUT
OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?

WHERE'D YOU GET
A FIGURE LIKE THAT?

YOU'D BE SURPRISED
AT THE QUALITY
OF INFORMATION

A LIT CIGARETTE
CAN PROVIDE.

[SIZZLING]

AAH!

WHAT ELSE?

SHH.

HE'S GOT RARE GEMS
IN A SAFE.

SAM, FORGIVE ME.

WHAT KIND OF GEMS?
HOW MANY?

I DON'T KNOW!

[SIZZLING]

AAH!

AAH!

[SIZZLING]

AAH!

FOUR FLAWLESS
ONE-CARAT DIAMONDS!

AARGH!
THE BITCH BLABBED!

APPARENTLY, YOU GOT
A MILLION TWO

BUILT UP
IN SAM'S SPORTSWEAR.

ANOTHER 350,000
IN YOUR PENSION PLAN.

GENERAL DYNAMICS
CLOSED AT 75 3/4 TODAY,

WHICH BRINGS
ANOTHER 175,000.

45,000
FOR THE EXCALIBUR.

NOW THERE'S THE FOUR
ONE-CARAT DIAMONDS IN THE SAFE.

YOU INHUMAN SLIME!

AFTER HIS RELEASE,

MR. STONE CONTINUED
TO DENY THE CHARGES.

THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY INSISTS
THERE'S OVERWHELMING EVIDENCE.

OVERWHELMING
EVIDENCE IS RIGHT.

WHAT MORE
DO THEY WANT?

HOW COULD THEY
LET HIM GO?

HELLO?

HELLO.
IT'S ME AGAIN.

I SEE SAM STONE'S
BEEN RELEASED.

IT'S NOT EASY
KEEPING A MAN
IN JAIL

WITH THESE
LIBERAL COURTS.

A MAN IS INNOCENT
UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY.

HOW DO YOU THINK
THESE COURTS WOULD FEEL

IF I GAVE THAT TAPE
TO THE MEDIA?

OH, MY...GOD.

YEAH. THEY'D
GO CRAZY FOR IT.

THEY LOVE TO SHOW
SICK STUFF LIKE THAT.

IT'D PROBABLY
BE ON NATIONAL TV

24 HOURS A DAY
FOR WEEKS.

I BET THAT'D
GET A REACTION.

PLEASE,
DON'T DO THAT!

WHERE'S YOUR
SENSE OF COMPASSION?

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO
BE SO VICIOUS?

VICIOUS? HAVE YOU
SEEN THAT TAPE?

COME ON,
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

IT'S JUST
A LONELY MAN

WHO WANTED
A LITTLE EXCITEMENT.

THAT KIND OF THING
HAPPENS EVERY DAY.

EVERYBODY DOES IT!

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

I DON'T BELIEVE
YOU SAID THAT.

MEN GET THE URGE.
WE'RE ONLY HUMAN!

YOU'RE SICK!

HELLO?

DON'T HANG UP
ON ME, PLEASE!

SO WHAT DID HE SAY?

SOMETHING STRANGE
IS HAPPENING HERE.

EITHER THE CHIEF IS
A COMPLETE MORON--

AND COMPLETE MORONS
ARE RARE--

OR HE'S PLAYING
GAMES WITH ME.

WE BETTER
FIND SOMEPLACE

WHERE WE CAN
LOOK AT THAT TAPE.

SHALL WE LOOK
IN SARA'S ROOM?

THIS IS PERFECT.

IT IS?

GIVE ME THE TAPE.

I'VE GOT 10 MINUTES
TO GET TO THE RADIO STATION.

OK.

EASY TO WEAR,
HARD TO RESIST.

OH!

OH!

OH! OH!

OH!

OHHH!

YOU IDIOT!
THIS ISN'T SAM!

AND HE ISN'T
KILLING HER.

THAT'S
MY HUSBAND!

BARBARA REALLY
WAS KIDNAPPED.

SHE REALLY
WAS KIDNAPPED!

PLEASE BELIEVE ME!
YOU GOT TO BE THERE!

THEY'RE COMING
THIS TIME FOR SURE!

I THINK THE DELI'S
USING A DIFFERENT MUSTARD.

LAST TIME,
IT WAS TANGIER--

I'M PLEADING FOR MY LIFE,
AND YOU'RE DISCUSSING

THE INCONSISTENCIES
OF LUNCH MEAT CONDIMENTS!

HAVEN'T YOU HEARD
A WORD I'VE SAID?

AAH!

SINCE THE HOUSE
IS IN YOUR WIFE'S NAME,

AS WELL AS HER OTHER
15 MILLION IN ASSETS,

YOU'RE NOT LEGALLY
ENTITLED TO IT
WHILE SHE'S ALIVE.

HOWEVER, YOU'VE GOT
A MILLION TWO

BUILT UP IN EQUITY
IN YOUR BUSINESS,

ANOTHER 350,000
IN YOUR PENSION PLAN.

YOU CAN USE THAT
AS COLLATERAL.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO IT!

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

SAM?

CAROL, WHERE THE HELL
HAVE YOU BEEN?

I'VE CALLED
A HUNDRED TIMES.

SAM, I MISS YOU.
HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?

I'M GOING CRAZY OVER
THIS KIDNAPPING THING,

AND THE COPS
WON'T HELP ME.

WHY?

THEY THINK I MADE UP
THE KIDNAPPING.

THEY WON'T EVEN SHOW UP
AT THE RANSOM DROP.

YOU'RE GOING TO BE
ALL BY YOURSELF?

THAT'S TERRIBLE.
HOW MUCH MONEY
IS IT?

$2.2 MILLION.

CASH?

OF COURSE.

HAVE YOU HEARD
OF A KIDNAPPER
TAKING A CHECK?

WHERE ARE YOU
GIVING THEM
THE MONEY?

I MEAN, I HOPE
IT ISN'T DANGEROUS.

I'VE GOT TO GO
TO A...A PHONE BOOTH

ON, UH,
HOPE STREET PLAZA.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[RING]

HELLO?

SAM...

IT'S SO NICE
TO HEAR YOUR VOICE.

HOW'S MUFFY?
WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.

THERE'S A GUN
POINTED AT MY HEAD,

AND THEY'RE MAKING ME
GIVE THE RANSOM INSTRUCTIONS

IN CASE THE POLICE
ARE LISTENING.

YOU MUST MAKE SURE
THERE ARE NO POLICE.

NOPE, NO COPS.

NOW, HAVE YOU GOT
ALL THE MONEY?

$2.2 MILLION,

IN UNMARKED,
NON-SEQUENTIAL BILLS,

YOU MISERABLE
SCUM-SUCKING PIG?

OH, HONEY,
I'M SO SORRY.

THEY MADE ME
SAY THAT.

YEAH, I GOT
ALL THE MONEY.

AND IT'S ALL THERE
IN THE BRIEFCASE?

YOU SCUMBAG!
YOU LOW-LIFE MOTHERFUCKER!

OH, DEAR,
THEY MADE ME
SAY THAT, TOO.

IT'S IN THE CASE, YEAH!

THE ROLEX, TOO?
THE GOLD ROLEX?

WHO SAID THE ROLEX?
THEY NEVER MENTIONED
THE ROLEX!

THEY WANT THE ROLEX
AND YOUR PINKIE RING!

THEY TORTURED ME
WITH CIGARS.

I HAD TO
TELL THEM EVERYTHING.

ALL RIGHT, WHAT ELSE?

THAT'S IT.

JUST WAIT THERE.

THE BAG, PLEASE.

COME ON!
GIVE ME THE BAG!

[SCREECHING TIRES]

FREEZE!

LOOK OUT!

PUT THE BAG DOWN,

AND PUT YOUR HANDS
ON YOUR HEAD!

BENDER!

THEY'RE HERE
TO HELP YOU.

I SAID NO POLICE.
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS MEANS?

STAY BACK!

THEY TOUCH ME,

AND I GIVE
THE ORDER TO KILL!

LEAVE ME ALONE,
OR SHE'S A DEAD WOMAN!

YOU WANT HER BLOOD
ON YOUR HANDS?

WHAT DO
YOU THINK?

LET'S JUST
FOLLOW HIM HOME.

LET HIM GO.

WHAT?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

TELL HIM TO LET GO!

I'LL GIVE THE ORDER!

GO AHEAD.
GIVE THE ORDER.

LET GO!
SHE'S DEAD
IF HE DOESN'T!

ALL RIGHT!

DROP IT.

SHEESH.

PUNK.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[RING]

HELLO?

[RING]

HELLO?

THIS IS LIEUTENANT BENDER.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M TAKING MY MONEY!

YOU GOT YOUR MAN!

YOU MAY BE GUILTY
OF OBSTRUCTING JUSTICE,

AIDING AND ABETTING
A KNOWN FELON,

ACCOMPLICE TO KIDNAPPING,
AND POSSIBLY MURDER.

DROP THE GUN,
GIVE BACK THE BAG.

WE HAVE 150 OFFICERS,
75 CARS,

AND 2 HELICOPTERS.
HE WON'T GET AWAY.

THAT'S BETTER.

HERE!

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

TELL THEM TO LEAVE!

IF THEY DON'T GO,
SHE'S DEAD!

ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN,
CLEAR THE STREET, PLEASE.

YOU, TOO, MR. STONE.

BACK AWAY.

THAT'S BETTER.

YOU CAN GO NOW.

NOW DON'T FOLLOW ME!

UNDERSTAND?

WE UNDERSTAND.

DON'T MOVE.

WHO THE HELL
ARE YOU?

WHAT THE HELL
IS GOING ON?

I'M ROBBING YOU!

STOP HIM!

[GUNSHOT]

DID YOU
SHOOT AT ME?

NO, YOU MORON!
THERE'S POLICE
ALL OVER THE PLACE!

HUNDREDS OF THEM!

DO I LOOK THAT STUPID?

YES, YOU DO!

IF YOU SHOT AT ME,
WHERE'S YOUR GUN?

WELL, YOU'RE
TOO SHARP FOR ME!

I DON'T HAVE ONE!

[GUNSHOT]

THAT WAS
A BRAND-NEW TIRE.

GIVE ME YOUR KEYS.

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!

GIVE THE BAG TO BOZO,

DROP THE GUN,
AND PUT YOUR HANDS
IN THE AIR.

WHO SAID THAT?

THIS COULD
VERY WELL BE
THE STUPIDEST PERSON

ON THE FACE
OF THE EARTH.

PERHAPS WE
SHOULD SHOOT HIM.

IT'S THE POLICE DEPARTMENT.

REALLY?

NO, WE'RE THE NATIONAL
RIFLE ASSOCIATION.

CHRIST.

I'M LEAVING NOW.

THEY SAID THEY WOULDN'T
FOLLOW ME.

* HEY!

* OW!

* STAND UP

* NO, NO, NO

* RUTHLESS PEOPLE

* YEAH, WATCH YOURSELF

* HEY!

* STAND UP

* WOO!

* RUTHLESS PEOPLE

* RUTHLESS PEOPLE

* YOU CAN HAVE IT

* IF YOU WANT IT

* IT MIGHT TAKE
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE *

* IF YOU WANT IT

* YOU COULD HAVE IT

* DO A BALANCING ACT
ON A KNIFE *

* RUTHLESS PEOPLE

THEY'RE STILL
FOLLOWING ME.

I SHOULD'VE KNOWN.
I KNEW THIS WOULDN'T WORK.

YOU CAN'T TRUST
THE POLICE!

OH, GOD!

OH, BOY!

HE'S CORNERED,
AND HE KNOWS IT.

I HOPE NOBODY
GETS HURT.

OH!

I'M NOT GOING TO JAIL!
I'M NOT GOING TO JAIL!

OH, MY GOD!

[HONK]

LOOK OUT!

[HONK]

WATCH IT!

LOOK OUT
BEHIND YOU!

HOLY GOD!

WELL, SOMEBODY HELP!
HE'LL DROWN!

THE WATER'S
WAY TOO COLD.

THERE'S RIP TIDES
OUT THERE.

I'VE SEEN SHARKS.

LOOK THERE!

THAT'S MONEY!

AAH!

GET IN THERE!

GO! COME ON!

$100 BILLS!

MY MONEY!

LET'S GET THE COAST GUARD
AND FISH HIM OUT!

I WONDER
IF IT'S REAL!

YOU CAN'T DO THAT!

THAT'S NOT
YOUR MONEY!

THAT'S MY MONEY!

STOP THEM!

AAH!

GET THE MONEY!

THE BEDROOM KILLER.

WHAT ABOUT THE MONEY?

THEY RECOVERED
A FEW THOUSAND.
THE REST WASHED AWAY.

HE SAID
IF ANYTHING WENT WRONG,

THEY'D KILL BARBARA.

THINGS COULDN'T HAVE GONE

MORE WRONG THAN THIS,
COULD THEY?

THAT MEANS SHE'S DEAD.

AH HA HA HA HA!

AH HA!

AH HA HA HA!

MRS. STONE!

I'LL BE DAMNED!
MRS. STONE?

YES?

WE'RE GLAD TO SEE
YOU'RE OK.

I'M SORRY TO
ASK YOU RIGHT NOW,

BUT WE NEED YOU TO
IDENTIFY THE BODY.

YES, THAT'S HIM.

OH, I COULD NEVER
FORGET THAT FACE.

WHAT HELL
HE PUT ME THROUGH.

YOU'RE SURE
HE WORKED ALONE?

OH, POSITIVE.

HE MENTIONED
HAVING A PARTNER.

HE WAS SCHIZOPHRENIC.
HE THOUGHT HE HAD PARTNERS.

WHERE'S SAM?

HE'S OVER THERE,
MRS. STONE.

WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME
FOR A MOMENT?

I'D JUST LIKE TO BE ALONE
WITH MY HUSBAND.

THANK YOU.

HELLO, SAM.

BARBARA.

UH...

YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.

YOU THINK SO?

YEAH, I MEAN...

YOU'RE SO THIN.

REALLY?

DOES IT SHOW?

YEAH, YEAH...

I MEAN,
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

OH, SAM.

OH, BARBARA.

HOPE MY MARRIAGE
IS LIKE THEIRS
AFTER 15 YEARS.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE DOUBTED

STONE'S AFFECTION
FOR HIS WIFE.

YEAH, WE ALMOST
BLEW IT.

YOU WORK
THE LONG HOURS,

BUT IT ALL
SEEMS WORTH IT

WHEN YOU GET
MOMENTS LIKE THIS.

YEAH, I LOVE
A HAPPY ENDING.

NO! OH! OH!
BARBARA-A-A-A!

[SPLASH]

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
BUENA VISTA TELEVISION

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING
INSTITUTE, INC.

* YOU SEE HER SITTIN'
WITH HER COFFEE AND HER PAPER *

* WITH HER HIGH TOP SNEAKERS
OF ITALIAN DESIGN *

* WITH A LONG, COOL STARE,
SHE AGGRAVATES THE TENSION *

* MAKES UP HER FACE
WHILE SHE MAKES UP HER MIND *

* NOW YOU'RE IN TROUBLE,
MAYBE SHE'S AN INTELLECTUAL *

* WHAT IF SHE FIGURES OUT
YOU'RE NOT VERY SMART? *

* OR MAYBE SHE'S
THE QUIET TYPE *

* WHO'S INTO HEAVY METAL

* BOY, YOU GOT TO
GET IT SETTLED *

* 'CAUSE SHE'S
BREAKIN' YOUR HEART *

* DON'T TRY TO
PUT ON AN ACT *

* YOU CAN'T DO THAT
TO MODERN WOMAN *

* AND YOU'RE
AN OLD-FASHIONED MAN *

* SHE UNDERSTANDS
THE THINGS YOU'RE DOIN' *

* SHE'S A MODERN WOMAN

* HMM

* SHE LOOKS SLEEK,
SHE SEEMS SO PROFESSIONAL *

* SHE'S GOT A LOT
OF CONFIDENCE *

* IT'S EASY TO SEE

* YOU WANT TO MAKE A MOVE,
BUT YOU FEEL SO INFERIOR *

* 'CAUSE UNDER THAT EXTERIOR
IS SOMEONE WHO'S FREE *

* SHE'S GOT STYLE,
SHE'S GOT HER OWN MONEY *

* SO SHE'S NOT ANOTHER HONEY

* YOU CAN QUICKLY DISARM

* SHE'S GOT THE EYES
THAT MAKE YOU REALIZE *

* SHE WON'T BE HYPNOTIZED
BY YOUR USUAL CHARM *

* YOU'VE GOT
YOUR PLAN OF ATTACK *

* THAT WON'T ATTRACT
THE MODERN WOMAN *

* WHEN YOU'RE
AN OLD-FASHIONED MAN *

* SHE UNDERSTANDS
THE THINGS YOU'RE DOIN' *

* SHE'S A MODERN WOMAN

* UH-HUH

* TIME GOES BY, AND YOU'RE
SHARIN' AN APARTMENT *

* SHE SAYS SHE LOVES YOU,
BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHY *

* IN THE MORNING,
SHE LEAVES YOU *

* WITH YOUR COFFEE
AND YOUR PAPER *

* IT'S A STRANGE SITUATION
FOR AN OLD-FASHIONED GUY *

* BUT TIMES HAVE CHANGED

* THINGS ARE NOT
THE SAME, BABY *

* YOU OVERCAME
SUCH A BAD ATTITUDE *

* ROCK 'N' ROLL JUST USED TO
BE FOR KICKS *

* AND NOWADAYS IT'S POLITICS

* AND AFTER 1986,
WHAT ELSE COULD BE NEW? *

* YOU GOT TO
LEARN TO RELAX *

* AND FACE THE FACTS
OF MODERN WOMAN *

* AND YOU'RE
AN OLD-FASHIONED MAN *

* SHE UNDERSTANDS
THE THINGS YOU'RE DOIN' *

* SHE'S A MODERN WOMAN

* SHE'S A MODERN WOMAN

* YOU GOT
THE CASUAL HIP *

* THAT DON'T MEAN ZIP

* TO THE MODERN WOMAN

* SHE'S OUT
MAKIN' THE BREAD... *