Run This Town (2019) - full transcript

Councillor Fletcher,
questions to staff.

This is
actually about

the name...

Well, the report's called

"To Facilitate CouncilLor
Office Operations"

I think the word "office",
and you might disagree,

should be clarified.

Perhaps it's a poor
choice of a word.

- But I'm not sure
that I would agree.

But what does
"office" mean to you?

- Councillor, I'm not sure
how I'm supposed to answer



that question.

Well, there's
been criticisms in the past

of how councillors have spent
their money. It's been said:

"Well, that isn't something
you need to run your 'office'."

The notion of this
being something

to run an 'office'...

versus something

that is a general expense,

hasn't been clearly defined.

Would you agree with that?

Wait, is that
your actual question?

What a line item
should be called?

The question's what
the report is called.

And it's so she
can make a point.



- So, can we just
get to the point?

You guys
are on the same side.

He's voting the same
as she is, isn't he?

- Yeah, but Joe's not
gonna want to sit here

for an extra hour discussing
what a line item

should be called.

I'm not on the same side

and it's not a line item,
it's a report.

- Um, yes, we are,
and yes it is.

- Lauren? Are Fletcher
and Mihevc both backing?

- What?
- Zach's voting same as me.

- Is that a question?

- It shouldn't be.

- I'm sorry, I'm
not following here.

- Are Mihevc and Fletcher voting
with Catracchia. Guys, come on.

I mean, I hope so?

- Is that a question?

- Sorry. What's the...
what's the, um, issue here?

- Claire isn't sure
if we're voting the same.

- No, Zachary, I'm sure.

- No, I mean, what issue
are we discussing?

Is it, um, heritage designation?
Where are we?

- Someone make a beer run?

- It's past nine.

- Why are we arguing
about office expenses...

- Office expenses! Yes, um, we
are voting the same. Same vote.

We should all
make a motion to allow

convenience stores
to sell booze.

Isn't that what
the people want?

- Maybe your people.

- Your people? Is that a racist
thing or an elitist thing?

- Uh, it's provincial.

- Oh, so the opposite
of elitist?

- Uh, booze laws
are provincial,

as in the province handles it.

No one uses the other
"provincial" anymore,

unless you're an elitist,
which apparently you are.

Better not let
your boss find out

he's got an east coast-valued
elitist in his ranks

who's using words
like "provincial"

when words like "hick"
exist in 2012.

- So you're just
skipping over me.

- Is there anything in there
you want to run by us, Zach?

- Well, you guys'll
just nay-say it, so...

- Then I wouldn't run it by us.

- We're saying each
councillor should be given

an increase of $1,000 to
their office budget each month.

- We have 45 offices.

- By office, are we saying the
actual physical structure...

- That's 45 grand a month.

...or "office" like how we
refer to the White House?

- 540-thousand a year.

- Wait, why are we talking
about the White House?

- How many physical
offices do you count, Zach?

- I just think we need to
clarify if the change applies to

the office or the "office".

- Are you serious right now?

- You guys are all
on the same side.

- Who cares what the
report is called?

- If it sounds like it's just
for a physical office space

and we use it for
office travel expenses,

we're going to get
mini-crucified.

- Oh...

Okay, I get it now.

Yes, no, we do need
to clarify that, guys.

- Look, Claire,

Fletcher and Joe
are going to argue about

what the report is called
to try to justify

using $500,000 which we
already cut from the budget

and people are
happy about it.

And people are actually
happy with the government!

You'll say, that this is
better for the people somehow

but all the people...

that's you and me,

I'm not speaking
councillor-speak here, guys,

I just care about
paying less taxes.

I can't pay my phone bill.

I don't want to pay more taxes
for office expenses

and you guys are going
to try to rename a report

so that you can use
money which we don't have

to use for your office?

- But...
- Yes, Zach.

Conceptual "office" like
The White House or 10 Downing

or whatever the fuck
our equivalent is.

- You know, my long
distance is insane

and I bet the White House
uses their office expenses

to pay for their
assistants' phone bill.

- The White House calls
Russia once a week.

- Yeah, I'm pretty sure
that Obama and Putin

are not having a weekly
catch-up sesh.

- The furthest you
should be calling

for your municipal councillor is
seven blocks from your office.

- Physical, Zach.

- Can we please just figure out
how to bring this city together

and allow convenience
stores to sell alcohol

whenever people want so that
we don't have to spend

10 bucks on a beer whenever
the government liquor stores

are closed?

Cheers! Cheers!

- Thank you.

Sorry, hi, I have an
interview. Can I just...

There's a line, buddy.

- Yeah, no, no,
I know. I just...

- Wanted to butt the line?

- I don't know if
butting the line

is a thing past
elementary school.

- It's not.

Hey, man.

Thought the only lines
you did are the fun ones.

Trigger warning: lines.

Trigger warning: douchebags.

- Oh, trigger warning:

girl who petitioned
for trigger warnings.

- Triggers are
the new spoilers.

- Spoiler alert:
your bro's a prick.

- Okay, if you didn't know
that literally anything

by Sylvia Plath
was about suicide,

you shouldn't have been
in fourth year literature.

Multiple spoiler alert.

- Next?

- Can you let
these two go ahead

so I don't need to stand
in front of them any more?

- Yeah, thank you.

Name?

- Bram Shriver.

- Let me see here...
When did you register?

- For what?

- Convocation.

- Uh, when I registered
to study here for four years

and then graduate?

- You have to
register to graduate.

- Okay, so when you register
every year as a student

they don't, uh, the school
doesn't realize

that you would like to
graduate when you finish?

- You have to declare
your intention to graduate

at convocation.

- Does anyone go here with
the intention of not graduating?

- You're still a graduate.

You just aren't
going to graduate,

if that makes sense.

- It doesn't. Um, who do
I have to declare it to?

- You go online
and declare.

- That seems antiquated.

- They've been doing it
since forever.

- Oh, really, so the
five graduates of 1886

went online to register
for convocation?

- If you didn't know you had to
register for graduation,

then you shouldn't
be graduating.

You just won't get
your diploma at the ceremony

because you won't be there.

- Okay, well, it's not
a diploma, actually,

it's a degree because we're
not graduating from high school.

God, how should I break this
to my parents?

- Well, they're
already disappointed

you're not gonna be
a doctor or a lawyer,

so the fact that you're not
graduating, like officially,

as a journalist
probably won't matter.

- I already bought them
graduation tickets.

My mother has been
prepping by researching

Jewish journalists.

- You have to buy tickets?

- Jason Bradley.

Bram?

Come on back.

- Hey.

- Come on in.
- Thanks.

- Take a seat.

Uh, so, you know
my sister-in-law?

- Oh, well, I mean,
my mom's friends with Deb,

so I don't, ah,

know her, but...

Yeah.

- Okay. So other than

sort-of-knowing Deb,
what should I know about you.

- Uh, well, I went to
Western for undergrad and...

- No, no. I got all that.
I read the resumé.

You're a writer.

Pitch me.

- Yeah, um...

Hello?

What's for dinner?

- So...?

Aah!
- Hmm.

- Awww.

Good hug or bad hug?

- Aww, are there bad hugs?

Yes.

- Here, here, come here,
let me see.

- I already signed it.
- Ah. I'm just reading it.

Ah-ha.

- Yeah, I read it.

- You read they're not
paying your taxes?

- Mm-hm.

- No benefits either, Jill?

- Okay, well, the only
benefit I considered

when someone said "we'll
pay you money to work for us"

is that in a couple of months
I can move out.

- Do you know how much
a house is?

- You know what, at this point,
I would've taken it

if they offered me a Metropass.

- They're not paying
for your Metropass?

- I'm not buying a
house anytime soon.

- Yeah, well, maybe slow down
on the four-dollar coffees.

- Who's here?

- How many days would I
have to give up coffee for

in order to get into
the market?

- Hi!
- It's a down payment.

- This is a surprise!

- What was the downpayment
here 25 years ago?

- Well, things were different.
You still have to save.

- Bram got a job.

- Like, a real one?

- Yes, um, and I am
marrying a doctor

and I'm going for lunch every
day before my afternoon nap.

- Mmm, Mom set me
up with my job, too.

- And if I give up my $4-a-day
coffee habit, then I can

save up to buy a million dollar
tear-down in 684 years.

- Wow, I'm sure
Wolf Blitzer has a house.

- Yeah, that he bought
in the roaring 20s.

- And Bernstein?
He's a journalist

and he bought a house.

- We are pregnant.

- Oh, my God.
- What? Ahh!

- Oh, Mazel Tov.

Such nachas...

- Oh, I can't believe that my
baby's going to raise her baby!

- I know. I can't believe it.

I knew it, I knew it.

- Nothing?

- That's great. Mazel Tov!

- Thank you, Uncle Bram.

Thanks.

- I feel fat.

- I know, I felt
it when I hugged ya'.

Stop the gravy train.

- You got it, Gidda.

- Oh, uh...

- Hi, Gidda!

Tell her I say hi.

- Hi, Hi. I understand. Hi.

- Hi.

- Ah, Gidda, Claire's
going to take you home.

- The new girl's
waiting for you.

- Right. Thanks.

- He's already there. He
was supposed to get there later

but he left early.
He does that sometimes.

Okay.

- Everyone's gonna be
taking pictures with him

and posting them and saying
what they're gonna say

but we have to make sure
it's organized around him.

- Sure.
- He's easy.

Everybody's got their own thing
with him but he's a good guy.

- "Wieners come in all
shapes and sizes."

You should lead with that.

You the list guy?

These go best
with what you got.

- The list man.
- She treating you okay?

Yeah.

- Make sure you say it,
best service.

- Thanks, yeah.

- I wanna write lists.

- How about you go to the next
place and I'll go to the party?

- Okay, here: "Hot dog race:
wiener takes all".

I thought
Jill told my mom

that you started doing
city hall this week.

- Classic Jill.
She also told my mom

that Sammi's kid started walking
before any of his friends.

- Well, now, according
to my mother, um,

he tap-danced
out of the womb.

She is the best publicist.

No, I don't do city hall.

- He's paid to be the
mayor's biggest fanboy.

- A couple of months ago

he decided he didn't want to
talk to press anymore.

- So the press he likes
must really like him now.

- This is what we
gotta work around.

How do we have them
not asking questions

without flat-out saying...

- Doesn't he just flat-out
say most things?

- Saying you can't ask
the mayor questions.

- So there's this assault on the
papers that he doesn't like,

ours included...

- Saying you guys
are bad at your job?

- He doesn't know
he's messing with

a Frum Medal-winning graduate.

- The news isn't accurate
unless he likes it.

And the news that he does like
isn't always accurate.

And then they
came up with this-

this really ridiculous...

- Genius idea.

Don't give them Rob's
schedule every morning.

- They have to chase you.

- The papers are always behind

because we don't know
what to cover each day.

Well, except for the ones
that write the puff pieces,

they know what's happening.

- This is on your work, right?

- Yeah, work perks, my friend.

- So, the Frum Medal-winning,
top-of-his-class

journalism major that
you are currently splitting

a knackwurst with was just
promoted from list-writer.

- 14 bucks for a hot dog?
We should get jobs here.

- So, what are you now?

- Oh, I'm I'm still list writer.

But I'm also the guy
that reverse-engineers

Rob Ford's schedule by
checking his Instagram,

Facebook and Twitter accounts
for his daily whereabouts

and I deliver those reports
to my boss every morning

so that he can give those
stories to everyone but me

as I go off to rate
some hot dogs.

- Okay, but what happens
when some frat bro

posts a picture of
him taking a funnel?

- We bury it. Rob does.

You blacklist a paper and
that becomes their story.

"Assault on us!
Free speech!"

But their free speech becomes
speechifying about their own

personal losses,
not the people's.

So the people don't care.

- I'm basically playing
"Where's Waldo"

with a very large Waldo

until I see something that
I can force my way into.

- Okay, we better
get our buns moving.

- But you also
still do the lists?

- Did you enjoy
your free meal?

- The people must know the
ten best sausages in the city.

Give this place top prize.

- Yeah, bonus points
for their ad spend.

- Whatever happened
to church and state?

- Total clicks.

- You can't come?

- Hot dog tour awaits.

- Ketchup later.

- Yeah, I relish
the opportunity.

Thank you.

- When are you
supposed to stop him?

- I'm not.

- You're not going to
stop him?

- I'm not supposed to.

- Isn't that your job?

- Not in my job description.

- Actually, it's
part of yours.

- My what?

- Job description.

- To cut him off?

- To make sure no one knows

people thought he
needed to be cut off.

- We should've had
people sign an NDA

when they bought tickets.

- Or confiscated their phones.
Don't look at Instagram.

- Can you imagine the uproar?

- I don't think anybody
cares about signing an NDA.

- No, no, I mean if we'd
taken their phones.

- So what do you do if he does
something embarrassing?

- Do you wanna
take this one?

- Nah. Let her see
the master at work.

- Ask me again.

- What do you do if he does
something embarrassing?

- The media is always
out to embarrass our mayor.

Note the use of "our"
instead of "the" mayor

even while he's
fighting... key word

he's up against the enemy,

sword and shield,
taking down the dragons.

To help the working taxpayers
of this great city,

see their money working for them
instead of lining the pockets

of special interest cronies.

That tells them that there's
this cabal of rich dudes

pulling the strings
for the other guys.

Now, do you know what's
truly embarrassing?

No, Anderson,
don't cut me off.

I'm not finished.
Here's where we put the person

asking the question on defense.

That you're focusing
on whether our mayor...

check...

grabbed a beer with
his friends last night...

the everyman, check...

while the mayor's opponents...
the dragons...

are, at this very moment
proposing spending increases

in support of themselves
and their donors...

secret cabal, check-check...

at the expense
of the taxpayer.

- They don't call us
special assistants for nothing.

Whatever it is, push to
write about it. Be aggressive.

- I know.

- You won the Frum Medal!

Tell them.

- They know. Bye.

- Dave, hey. I was just
coming to find you.

- Well, you found me.
What's up?

- Oh, I wanted to talk
to you about this story.

- Talk.

- It's this story
I want to show you.

- So show me. Talk or
show, Bram. Talk or show.

- Okay.

- Hey, you hear about
the CJPAC party?

- Yeah, I spoke to Nelson.
They're denying.

I'll speak with her and
anyone else who was there

who's gonna talk
but it was open bar.

- Speak with who?

- So what, what does that mean?
Who cares.

- It's a bunch of dumb kids,
politicians and unlimited booze,

we're not going to get
anything reliable.

Not on record, anyway.

- Try.

- Wait, what is that story?

- Susan's on it.
What did you wanna show me?

- I could do it with her.
What's, what's it?

- Ooh!

As much as she'd love that,
we have you on something else.

Uhh, where is it?
Best brunch spots in the city.

- Yeah. Um, I mean...

Dave, just, the thing is, just

I've been working for
more than a year now...

- I know.

- You know? And I just was,
I was wondering if...

I'm still doing the same thing.
Which is, that's...

I don't mind doing that...
I like that stuff,

I just, I think
that I could be...

really useful with
this sort of thing, too.

- You're a reporter.
You report on things.

- Lists.

- You know you don't get
to be editor on day two

just 'cuz you showed up
on day one.

- I-I know.

- Do you?

People read lists.
They read them.

You remember when the Huffington
Post used to have real news?

- BuzzFeed does real news now
so can I just, can I just...

- No one who actually
cares about the news

looks for it on the
sidebar of

"The 15 Paperweights That'll
Restore Your Faith in Beyonce."

- Well, I'll-I'll still
do the brunch thing, I just...

That's...

I mean, I won the Frum Medal.

- Oh, Jesus Christ.

Go do some streeters!

About the CJPAC thing.

- So, last night,
Rob Ford was at an event

where he was accused of groping
a former mayoral candidate.

How do you feel like this
reflects on the city?

He likes
to have a good time.

I like to have a good time.

Well. It's gross.

You guys,

it's just non-stop
with this guy.

Just let him do his job.

- Excuse me, sir, can I ask you
just a quick question about...

Don't give a fuck.

- Thank you.

Can I ask you a quick question
about the Mayor real quick?

High school.

- That's right.
- Bram.

- How are you, man?
- Good.

Is this what
you're doing now?

- Like, really, who cares?

- I mean, groping or not,

it's believeable and it's gross
and that's what's wrong with it.

- Do you get paid for this
or is it, like, volunteer?

- Who cares?

- I don't remember the
question but I have to go.

- Word. Okay.
- See you later.

- Say "Hi" to your mom.
- Yep.

- Excuse... Excuse me, sir?
Could you just... Could you...

Do you want to answer
a quick question?

Okay.

- Seeing as how
a mere three days later,

there's not a front page
mention of Gropegate...

- I don't think it's
considered a "-gate"

if it's not even mentioned
three days later.

- Claire?

- Yeah. I don't think
it's a "-gate."

- Overruled!
- Man, let's get this going!

Tonight is a special night

because for the first time in
her young career as an aborted

lawyer-cum-communications
manager

I pass tonight's
City Hall of Fame to...

Ashley!

- For answering that phone
like no other.

- Uh, how many calls redirected
over a two-day period?

- 250-fucking-four.

- Ashley!

Four years of undergrad in...
psychology?

- Classics.
- Ah.

Very practical. Four years
in whatever-the-fuck that is.

Another three floating
smack in the middle

of your law-school class,

seeing your entire Facebook
doing better than you

at everything and you too

can have a job that most
forward-thinking companies

have replaced with a machine!

Ashley Pollock, everybody!

- Thank you. All right, yes!

Thank you so much.

Thank you, thank you,
thank you. Yes.

- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

Wow, I wasn't expecting this.

I am so humbled.

Truth is, I can't take
all the credit on this one.

Mostly, I have to thank
a shitload of debt.

Linda, who calls twice a week

and who's not only
my loan officer

but who's also, basically,
my therapist

and personal advisor.

Oh, no the music!

I have to thank
that piece of paper

that's hanging
in my parent's den.

- To Ashley!

- Sharma.

A year ago,
someone recorded a video,

allegedly...

- Of what?

She started working there
a few months ago.

- Why would she know anything?

- Press calls her before
releasing anything.

She's the gatekeeper.

- So the guy selling
the video would call her?

- No. He'd call Kamal but she
may know if the video guy

contacted him first.

- What does Kamal do?

- Special Assistant
to the Mayor.

- And he knows?

- Everything.

- Now, sorry, what's the
difference between

special assistants
and assistants?

- No, they're all special.

- Your mom tell you that, too?

Look, call the girl and tell her

we won't release her name if
that's what she's worried about.

- Oh, Judith Asche
from the paper?

She wants us to come down there.

- Oh yeah, I told her.
It's an internal issue for them.

- It sounds like one of her
guys may have met with our guy.

- Can we call our guy
"the video guy"

so we can keep this all clear?
Who's their guy?

- Which guy are
you talking about?

- The paper's guy.
- Oh, the list guy.

- Yeah. The list guy.

- Fuck.

So you tended to work
on what kind of assignments?

- What nobody else wanted.

Uh,

top ten lists. Best burgers,
best fruit stands.

- But you also knew
everywhere he was gonna be?

- Everywhere he had been.
Or as he was there, maybe.

But never before.

- So how does this video come
your way if you're the guy

making lists of good burgers?

- Downsizing.

Did you
get one of these?

- No, I-I don't think...

No.

- Susan speaking...

David. Hi.

Listen, David. David.
David, I am not

sitting through a meeting
to go through this.

I'm just not.

This is...

Hm.

Where's Judith?

Because I want to
speak with her.

Ah, no, she wouldn't,
would she? Heaven forbid.

David, I am not coming in
there to put myself through this

to walk out with
a fucking folder

so everybody here
can see, okay?

I'm not.

All right, well, then,
just put whatever it is

in your little folder
in the mail for me, David.

Yes, in the mail,
and I will look it over

with a drink in my hand.

- So...

the guy didn't have a choice?

- Well, I didn't really care.

I got the call.

- Hello?

Oh, no. Um...

But I can help you.

Bram.

Yeah.

No-no-no-yes, I can meet.

- I just think if they
let this woman go,

you should ask for
a raise. Something.

- Okay, well, they fired her

because they don't want
to pay her anymore.

So I really don't think
they're just going to roll over

whatever savings they've got
on to me.

I don't, I don't want to
discuss it.

- Okay. Okay. We don't
have to discuss it,

but

I just want to say that

I think you're settling.
That's it.

- Okay.

- Okay.

So, that's all you have
to say is okay?

- I thought that we
weren't discussing it.

- We not discussing it.
I'm just...

- We're just gonna keep
the discussion going.

- I'm not the kind of mother

that pressured her son to go to
law school, Bram, okay?

- No, no. You're the kind
that guilts me for

not having thought of it myself.

- And you're still
doing the lists.

Pea soups?

Okay. And the Greek.

Tuna Reuben for the boy's
coming up.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

I'm just...

You write so well.

You're so smart

and now you're just writing
the-the 20 best things to...

I don't know! The places to make
a candle... whatever! Oh.

- Well, hm, I got
a story, anyways.

Um,

a guy called and
he wants to meet.

- Oh. About what?

- I guess we'll find out.

- Oh, my God. Where does
he want to meet you?

Actually, don't even tell me.

Just text me afterwards, okay?

Ah.

- Look, you tell your story in
your own words, people listen.

Don't filter. And tell
this David guy,

"I'm pitching it.
It's my story. Don't ask."

- Tuna reuben.
- Thank you.

- Plate's hot.

- Abe.

Hi.

Bram.

- You don't mind?

- No. No no, no. I sh...

Should've brought mine.

So, um,

you called, but,

said you wanted to meet in
person about your story?

- I work in the community.

Normally we are not getting paid
that much attention to.

- Well, I'm happy
to speak with you.

- I saw the lists you write.

I like those.

- Oh. Thanks.

- But, one time, you asked
what people thought

about how the mayor acted
at that thing, yeah?

You know someone said he was

maybe drunk and I wondered...

I was surprised why

no one asked if maybe
it was something else

that made Mr. Ford act that way.

- Well uh, what do you mean
"something else"?

- You're probably thinking,
maybe, what I do.

- Well, I'm actually thinking,

"What do you mean by 'something
else' made him act that way?"

- Some of these kids I know
don't lead their lives

in the right way.

"Something else."

- I gotta be honest, I have

no clue what you're talking
about or what the story is,

which sort of helps tell it.

- I told them I would help them,

so they don't have to
do this bad stuff.

- I feel like this meeting
needs a Rashi, or something.

- A what?

- Never mind.

What am I looking at?

- For a good story, maybe...

your paper, they pay?

- So, we can't tack anything
on this guy

other than taking a picture
with low-level bangers?

- No, not yet.

- So, who drove him here?

- It could've been his guy.

- Which guy's that?
- Rob's guy.

- Okay, so Rob's guy takes Rob
to visit these guys,

who're using the video
- Alleged.

- Alleged video, thank you,
to sell to the list guy?

- And others, yeah.

- Well, how many
private residences

did this guy drive Rob to?

- Which guy?
- Rob's guy.

- Thousands.
- Thousands?

- Yeah. People
call him everyday.

- And he answered them?
Personally?

- In person.

- You've reached the office
of Mayor Rob Ford.

Neither he, nor Special
Assistant, Kamal Arafa

are able to take your call.

If this is a query
for the Mayor,

please leave your name and
number and he will

return your call
within 48 hours.

Go Argos!

- I have something.

- What is it?

- Can I pitch it?
- You are. What is it?

- No, I want to do it
at the desk meeting.

- Huh, no.

- Dave, it's a good story.

- Everyone's story's always
a good story until it's not

and it ends up being bad
when Judith sucks

the air out if it.

- Last time I gave you a
story you gave it to Susan.

- Last time you gave me
a story, I didn't pitch it.

I'm gonna need some context.

- Well, if you like it,
I'm pitching it. It's my story.

- Oh! Hey! How are ya?

Hey. How are ya? How ya doing?
What's your name?

- Lauren.

- Huh, Lauren?

A selfie, or... Very good.

- Thank you.

- All right. All right.
You take care.

They home?

- I knocked.

- Here.

Hi, I'm Rob.

You left me a message
on my answering machine.

- Hey, Mayor Ford, uh, my name's
Mark. I live around midtown and

- Kamal's got your information.
I'll follow up in a week.

- Uh, we'll try for a week.

It's closer to three weeks,
maybe a month.

- Okay. A month.

- Thanks for the call.
And the support.

- No problem.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, uh...

I appreciate it.

- I don't want you to do that.

When you disagree with me,

you work for me, so you don't
disagree with me.

- I didn't.

- You told them it would be
a month before we got back

to them.

- It is. I told you,
we're backed up on these.

- You didn't remind me!

It's too long!

Look, they voted for me
to fix stuff and you're not!

- Remember, I told you...

- But you didn't tell me.

- We're late.

- Hey, don't get your panties
in a knot. Start the car.

David.

- Mm-hm?

- Why are you two people?

- It's, uh...

His story.

- Okay.

You see how these meetings
work, David, is...

I think you know this because
you're in these meetings

twice a day, every day...
is the desk editor

gathers some options
from their beat to pitch.

Everyone has
someone else's story.

So you brought the kid
with you today, fine, but...

But this tells me one
of two things. Either...

one:

you think this is a big story,

big enough to bring someone in
to corroborate or back you up.

Probably back you up,
I'm thinking.

Or two: the kid's jerking
you off under the table.

Neither's really
a great option.

In the first case,
your most junior reporter,

who's been here a tenth
of the time than your

next most senior reporter
has been, is scooping people

that we are paying at least
three times more,

and that tells me that
there is still

some fat to be
trimmed at your desk

and you know they are always
looking to trim some fat.

I don't like letting
people go, though,

so, I don't like that option.

But in the second scenario?
The one

where he is jerking you
off at the office, well...

you are being jerked off
and I don't think we pay you

for that, either.

I don't think
you're being jerked off.

- I'm not.

- That's too bad.

But, I don't want to embarrass
the kid by asking him to leave

his first desk meeting,
but it is one rep per desk,

so we'll see you
at the next one, David.

It's his story.

- Fine.

- Wait.

Lynn?

Mirvish is filing suit

against a New York gallery

for purchasing fake Pollocks
ten years ago.

- I don't like too many
people in the room.

Everyone'll want to come in
to pitch their story.

There's just not enough time
as it is and

not everyone's story is as
good as they think it is.

As big.

How good is yours?

- Well, now I feel like maybe
it's not as good as I think.

- Don't sandbag. It's obnoxious.

- Yeah, right.

Um, okay. Uh...

- Why are their
eyes blacked out?

- Um, he doesn't want us
to print it

unless we're taking the story.

- We're not taking the story
unless we can see the video.

Otherwise it's-it's just a photo
of him with a bunch of kids.

He takes pictures with
everyone, everywhere.

He's the town's mall Santa,
all year.

How much does
your guy want?

- Uh, he said that someone else
offered them 5,000

and they want more.

- Who?

- He didn't say.

- You think it's real?

- I don't know.

- Here's a new rule: when you're
asked your opinion,

you have to have one.

When you met with your guy...
do you know his name?

- His first name.

- Okay. When you met with him

did you believe that
he was being truthful?

- Yes.

- We're interested,
but not sold.

Tell him. Try and see the video.

- Well, unless we have an offer,
I don't-I don't...

think that will happen.

- Then you don't have a story.

- Rob's not here.

- He left something at Hadi's.

I was just
bringing it back.

- You can leave it with me.

- I was also thinking
maybe I could speak with him?

Maybe.

- You can talk to me.

- Hi! Hey, it's Bram. Um...

Let's, uh, let's meet again,
all right? I can, um...

Just-just try me back or
I'll-I'll-I'll call you again,

I guess, um...

It's Bram, again, it's...

We met at the laundromat.

Um...

Uh, thanks. Okay. Uh, bye.

- Hut!

- Let's go! Let's hustle up.
Let's go.

- Let's go! Let's go, go, go!

- Get it back in!

Rob, can we
just ask some questions?

Not right now,
Paula. We're busy.

- You guys are
always busy for us.

- What, what? C'mon, fast.
- What's the question?

- Rob, we just wanted to get
clarity on what you do

with the gun crime?

How you plan on keeping it
out of the city.

- I don't know. That's what I'm
going to sit down

with the Prime Minister
to find out.

You know, about how our
immigration laws work.

No, obviously, I have an idea,
but whatever I can do

to get them out of this city,
I'm going to.

- Thanks, Paula. Thanks.
- All right.

- C'mon! Don't do the bullshit
Macarena for me, c'mon!

Step it up, c'mon!

- Set.

Hut.

- Hey, come on, Jack.
Let's go! Let's go!

- Any movement?

- Um, not yet. I can't
get a hold of him yet.

- You have anyone
else to speak to?

Yeah!

- Hey, David.

- Uhh, yeah?

- Uh, what would you do?

- Uh, I'd have given this story

to someone with a
little more experience.

Uh, shit. I'm sorry.

Look, um...

Who else knows him?

You're guy.

- Right.
- Start there.

- Okay.

- Excuse me. Hey!
I was here last week

on Wednesday. I don't know
if you were working, I...

It's...

Okay. All right.

- Uh.

Um, just a
couple of quick...

- Sorry.
- All right.

- Oh. Hey!

Uh, hey! Sorry!

Hey, sorry.

Um, do you work here?

- I'm just an assistant.

- Oh. Oh, that's great.

I'm actually just looking
for someone to...

to talk to about the mayor.

- Sorry. I can't help you.

- Okay, can I just...
If you just ever get some time.

Sorry, here's my card.

Thank you.

Okay.

Hey!

So sorry. Uh, do you work here?

Sorry. Can't help you.

- Can I just ask
just a few questions?

- Really, can't help you, man.
- Really fast.

- Firstly, what
the fuck is this?

He wants to discuss immigration

in connection to
reducing gun violence?

- That's not
what he meant.

- For a native English speaker,

he sure needs
a lot of translation.

From his immigrant aide.

- He doesn't think of me as an
immigrant. Was there a secondly?

- Yeah. We need to get
Josh an engagement gift.

- Uh, I'm so sick of buying
people two presents

for weddings.

When you graduate,
you don't get a gift

when you announce
you're graduating

and then again when you
actually graduate.

- You got a graduation gift?

- I think Gidda got me a $50
gift certificate to The Keg.

- Question: what does Rob
think you're speaking

when you call your
grandmother Gidda?

- He thinks I'm speaking
parseltongue.

- That's because you're his
fucking spin wizard.

- You, uh...

You wanna get married?

- Like, to you?

- Maybe?

- We don't even have cable.

- We download.

- I mean, it would just feel
really classy to say

"I saw something on
HBO last night"

rather than clicking through
some website offering me

Ron Jeremy's Secret to
Enlarging My Dick 50 times.

- You know, if you
buy his secret,

the message stops popping up.

- I did buy it.

I can't believe you haven't
noticed my enlarged dick.

- I have.

Haven't you noticed mine?

- Nope.

- You have to give me
a couple of days

before you do anything here.

I can't help you
if my hands are tied

and my hands get tied when
something hits, so...

ABE: Look, just look:

you said you would have an
answer, maybe by yesterday.

- I'm just trying to help you.
Just help me do that.

Just hold off.

- Fine.

Fine.

- Hey.

- Thank you for-I just,

I didn't think that anybody
would actually respond...

- What were you looking for?

- Oh, um, I...

I know you work for the mayor

and, you know,
people hear things.

But, I just, I thought that,

um, I don't know, I thought
that maybe somebody

might know something?

- You won't use my name?

- No. Not if you don't want.

- I don't want my
voice on that thing.

Doesn't matter
what you come up with,

they'll just build more condos.

Condos, condos, condos.

- Wow! That took how long?
Two months?

- For me to become
a jaded asshole?

I was born this way, baby.

- See? If you'd been a
lawyer, you wouldn't...

- No! I am a lawyer.

- Just not at her practice
'cause who needs the practice?

- If I actually got hired
out of practice

to practise as a
practising lawyer,

I'd never get to be
the token gay

for a politician to say,
"One of my assistants is gay."

- Great clipping for the
Pollock fridge;

making Mama Pollock proud.

- Well, let's not go crazy.

- But you do know
you can do anything

with a law degree, right?

- Uh, no.

Everyone treats a law degree
like a Disney fast pass

into any career but law.

Except a Disney fast pass
can't get you into Universal.

- I'm down here.
- Mister Mayor!

A little beer
on a Friday night.

Different offices...
Having a little party tonight.

People celebrating.

No, gravy train in here.

No! We gotta-

Ahhh! And here's my Claire.

And she's in charge

of stray animals.

Ah, Georgie! There's Georgie.

Organize my parties.

These two, that Debbie, is John.

Hey, don't drink too much beer.

He fixes all the potholes.
He's in transit and,

uh, potholes. Everything...

Those potholes.

Hey, Steve! Hey, uh.

Ah, I got him!
I got the fucker! Got him.

You wanna picture?
Take a picture.

Smile!

- Oh, look it here.

Lookin' Fletcher.

What's Fletcher call you?
What's your name?

- Zach. It's Zach.

- Don't talk when
I speak to you!

It's joking.

No, no, it's joking.

It's joking, I'm joking.

I enjoy... I don't mind the kids.

But your fucking boss?

No. Fuck her!

- All right, let's, uh,
let's get back to work.

- Always workin', everyone.
Relax 'em, if you let them.

- Rob, Rob, let's... Let's...

- No!

No, I said no!

And I'm the charge. Me!

Message for Fletcher:

right here,

you gotta give her.

Got it?

Write or email her face.

Mm?

Come, come here.

Oh, good.

All right. You got it?

- Yep.

- Got it?
- Oh, yeah. I got it, Rob.

- You got it?
- I got it, Rob.

- You got it?

- Yep.

- Got it?
- Yes!

Rob. Rob, come on.

- Kamal? Kamal? Seriously!

- Okay.
- Mm-hm.

- Yeah?

- Listen to me, Rob...

Move!

Yeah?

Mm.

- Huh? You got it?
- Yes!

- Get the message so we gotta
can hear it nice and loud, okay?

You got it?
- Yes!

- The message?

- Yes!

- You gotta say it loud.
Or else you gotta can't hear.

- Yes!
- Hm?

- Rob, don't!

- You gonna tell us?

You gonna give it to her?
You gonna give it to her?

You gonna tell us?

- Tougher than his
fucked-up boss, this Jew.

All right, come here.

Come on. Come here.

- Oh, you're cocoa???

- Oh, it's your
fuckin' girlfriend.

Is she bringing the coffees?

We didn't want one
of those yet, Alice.

We're still starting
before we want coffee.

Rob, let's
go sit down. C'mon.

- You like Kamal?

Do you?

I love Kamal.

Hnh...

But I think maybe

you love him in the
different way.

I sort of think I hope
that you love him the way I do,

'Cuz then you don't
care about him.

- Rob, I got something
for you here. Come here.

- Yeah? What is it?

- Yeah. Come-come here,
I'll show you.

Rob.

Rob, come on. Come-come on.
Come 'ere!

- All right. All right.

I'm just talking to just talk
with my workers, huh? Ya' think?

I banged your pussy!!

Will ya show 'em
to the office?

- You know where it is.

- So we can show...

Come on. Let's go.

Show me some respect,
will ya?

Show some respect!

Sure.

- Um, so you didn't report it?

- Everybody saw.

I don't know who I'd tell
that wasn't already aware.

- Oh.

Did you report on that
party a few months ago?

The CJPAC thing.

- Oh, um, I-I know about it,
yeah, but I didn't, um...

I wasn't on it. So, no.

- All I thought... I mean...

besides

"don't cry"...

All I could think about
was the CJPAC thing.

- Why?

- Because we buried her.

That woman?

We said that she was crazy;
that she had a vendetta.

So nobody cared.

- So do you think that
you'll leave,

um, the job?

- My parents don't
pay my rent, so...

- Any time you run up
to me like that

it's because you think
you have a story.

- I do.

- Well, I hope it's what you
were assigned this morning

for this afternoon's deadline.

- Yes, I did that after
I got this story. I did both.

- No gold stars
for extra work.

- Right, right. Just look, I get
it. Please listen to me, okay?

Just listen: I spoke to this
girl who works at city hall

and she has all these
stories about how

they can't control him.

Okay, he came back
the other night

out of his mind. Okay. She
doesn't want us to use her name

but she said that apparently
it's not the first time

that he showed up like that.

That's my story.

Okay, but this is not
even all of it. She...

- No, that's not your story.
That's not your name at the top.

Not your story.
They got to it first.

- Yeah, okay, well, if you
let me try, I could be first.

Okay? I'm doing this
in my spare time.

Okay? I'm writing lists still,
which is... that's,

that is fine, but...

But I could do this if
it was my priority.

Okay? I could've been first.

- Anything from
your vanishing man?

You see, the one thing that
sort of makes this okay

is that 'cause you
had to pitch it,

it's not me that looks
little league

because your source disappeared.

Now Judith thinks they
got paid to go away

and you missed your chance.

You know what I think?

I think he also realized
you were an amateur.

Go back to your desk.

- Hey! Um... I left
a bunch of messages for you.

I guess you are...

I don't know, I guess you're
going with someone else. Um...

It's Bram. We met
at the laundromat.

But, uh...

Look, I'm young,
I know. But, um,

I am not an amateur, though.

Uh, thought that I would get to
do more interesting things

at my job and then,

I don't know. I-I
guess when we met,

I thought you were going to be
that guy to give me that chance.

But... Um...

I can't show you what I can do
unless you let me do it.

So...

Um...

Yeah. Just...

Good luck with it.

Uh, I really hope whoever
tells your story tells it right.

- Can you put your phone down
for five minutes?

Actually, pictures! Hold on.
Just one minute.

- Mom said Neil
interviewed for Google.

- No, no, no!
- That wasn't the important part.

Brammy's on a case,
is what I said.

- Yeah, what's happening
with that?

- Hi, birthday boy.

- Nothing. It doesn't
work like that.

- What case?
- He met a man!

- It's nothing.

Well, how, how does
it work? You don't tell us.

- He's Deep Throat!

- Okay, don't! That's not...

I'm not, I'm not doing anything.

- No, I mean, he's working
on something.

They put him on a job. When are
we going to read about it?

- I don't know, you're not!

He's like Glenn
Greenwald! Just tell her!

- Okay. A guy called me
and told me a story,

which turned out to be nothing,
so I got reamed out at work

and I'm just doing lists
and that's it because that's

what a journalist does now.

So, until there's
some major shift

in the way that things
are reported,

just please do not ask me.

- They're just trying
to understand what you do.

- Sammi!

You can't talk to him
when he's like this.

Oh, did you know
Connie Chung converted?

Happy Birthday to you...

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday, dear Jack,

Happy birthday to you.

- We're going.

- Bye.

- That was annoying.

- Which part?

- I mean, I guess
I get it, a little.

- Which part
of which part?

- Ah! You got the first job
you applied for out of the gate.

- Internship.

- They're paying you, now.

But you are lucky that you
don't have to worry about money.

We're lucky.

- Yes, I know. I know that.

But I can't feel frustrated
because everyone's

knee-jerk reaction is
"You're so lucky.

You don't have to
feel frustrated."

- You know, at Versailles,

Marie-Antoinette had this
peasant's village built,

like a fake one.
She wanted to feel

like she was doing something,
so she built this shack

where she could milk cows
and, like, I don't know,

tend to the earth.

- Okay, honestly, I can't begin
to do the mental gymnastics

to untangle that, but I'm just
very happy for you

that you found a use
for your major in history.

- It's sort of tough to complain
when you have an $800 machine

in your hand that could land
Apollo 13.

You are a young, well-off,
relatively intelligent,

white male.

- Marie-Antoinette was beheaded

along with her
white, male husband.

- What could you possibly
feel disaffected about?

- Maybe the fact that
I'm supposed to be

super-content and happy and
everything's supposed to come

very easily to me, so

whenever I find myself having
moments of perfectly normal

human sadness, or fear,

or doubt,

nobody takes it seriously.

And Apollo 13 didn't land.

- Well, that's 'cause
they didn't have the phone.

- That's because no one checked
to make sure that the people

they were sending into nowhere

were in a vehicle that wouldn't
blow up in their faces.

They just trusted that
the shuttle they were in

point A to point B

because that's what
they were told.

- Listen! I-I tried. I tried
to figure something out.

Hold on.

If you come out with this...

Hello?

- Hey, did I tell you I ran into
Becky Blidner on the subway?

She was wearing a suit.
Where are we?

- She's probably miserable
and going home.

- Well, no, it was the morning.
How long are you gonna be?

- She's probably miserable
and going to work.

- I was coming back
from an interview.

We're supposed
to meet them by 11.

- Yeah, we'll get there.

- On Bram time.

Google's opening an office here.

- Ah, here.

- Where?

- I blew it, anyway.
They ask you all these questions

that nobody can answer,
by the way, like,

how many times in a day
does a clock's hands overlap?

- How much do you
think this house cost?

- I don't know.
It was 22, somehow.

- He paid just under 300
for it, like, ten years ago.

- Who?

- Rob. If you bought it now
it'd cost, like, $900,000.

- Okay, Bram, are you fucked?
What are we even doing here?

- The guy's not answering me.

- He's not answering you?
I wonder what that's like?

We should go.

- Look, if he's not real,
then I'm updating Twitter

with links to some intern's
lists until they realize

that interns can write lists
and tweet.

- Maybe it's better
if he's not real.

- You know how much
his father was worth?

- Honestly, I don't care.

- Everything he has
he can thank his dad for.

- As we sit in your dad's Benz.

Let's go, seriously.

- Wait, why do you
think it's not real?

- I said that it might not be,

it's probably better
if it's not.

- The guy's the mayor
and he's on camera

smoking crack in a crack den.

- Allegedly.

- Allegedly.

I wouldn't even know
where to find crack,

let alone a den full of it.

- Well, maybe you should start
by asking the guy

that deals you weed.

- Oh, yeah, I'm sure that
Noah Schwartz

of Congregation
Sheket Bevakasha...

- Hey!

- ...knows all the finest crack
and opium dens in Forest Hill.

- I wish opium dens
were still a thing.

- And-and that's
not the same thing.

- Oh, yeah, no.

Crack is whack,
opium is dope-ium.

- I met the guy. He's real.

- You know, isn't there
this whole subset of journalism

where you get to make up
wildly inaccurate shit,

tweet it to the masses
and still get some of your own

press while doing so?

That way, it's sort of worth it
when they expose you.

- How is that worth it?

- You get your
own Wikipedia page.

- What did you think you were
going to find sitting outside

of his house? I'm just curious.

- If he-if he left I could see
where he went for myself

and not just from other people
on Instagram the next day.

- You told the cops you were
working on a story

for the paper, is that right?

- I am!

- I don't know if I didn't
make myself clear

or if you have a drug problem
I'm not aware of...

- Yes! Yes, I fucked up. I know.

- Well, I'm glad
that got through.

Look at me: you do not
pitch stories!

You are assigned things!

You do not use the paper's name
when you are caught

staking out the mayor's house.
You get it?

- I'm sorry.

- You know, I actually wish we
were paying you more,

I really do.

That way we could just
cut you from the budget.

It's funny how when you're
dispensable you're actually not.

- This is Ashley.

Hi.

A-about what?

What?

I'll have to call you
back on that.

- What?

- Hey! I didn't know
what happened to you.

Well, that's hard to say
without seeing, uh,

what we're paying for.
How much were you thinking?

Well...

Well, they won't go above
your asking price,

so you should definitely
start higher than you want.

300,000.

- I hope we're
discussing lira.

- Does anyone still use lira?

- Lebanon.

- No, they have the pound.

- Well, they
call it a lira.

- Turkey has the lira. Stop.

We're not paying 300,000
anything for a video.

- Well, he started with 150.

- You negotiated up?

- No, no. Um, he said that
they wouldn't go below 150

and so I said that
he should start higher

so there's room to negotiate.

- So you negotiated up.

- If the Globe knows,
all the papers know.

One of them is gonna get it.

- Did they say how much
the guy was asking?

We could offer them more.

- Offer them more?

- Let's offer
them ten grand.

- For what? We haven't seen
what we're even discussing.

If we're taking some guy
who disappeared for two weeks...

- Three.

- Three weeks!

You're good. We're taking
some guy who disappeared

for three weeks' word
that there is a video

that someone may
want to see, maybe...

Where are you supposed
to meet him?

- We're not telling
anyone anything.

- I was just asking if...

I want to make sure it doesn't
look like we were lying

when this eventually leaks.

- You know what happens if this
leaks? He loses his job.

And you know what happens
when he loses his?

- If it leaks?

- So, what's in the budget?

- TMZ pays money
for these stories.

- TMZ also has revenue.

- We are a real newspaper

and we have a responsibility
as journalists

- We have a responsibility to
the city and, more importantly,

to the people looking at your
bottom line every day

where your salary is one of the
very brightest red numbers.

Do you know what kind of traffic
this can pull to the site?

- We are a newspaper!

- We don't deal in news
anymore, Judith.

- Oh, it's-it's just a
statement.

Some questions...

- I still work for the city.

- I-I get it. We also do.

We have the same boss,
technically, me and you.

- Even if we were
to pay them something...

we just fired people
to save money.

We are not looking
to add expenses here.

And they're looking
for a ridiculous amount.

- But what if we, uh,
partnered with someone

like they did on WikiLeaks?

- I don't think The Times
or Der Spiegel would have

the same level of interest they
had in the US State Department

spying on the UN that they would
in a Canadian mayor

smoking crack.

And they didn't pay.

- No, but I know
they got approached.

The Star, probably
The Globe, too.

- What?

- Bram's guy spoke to them...
The Star.

- How do you know that?

- I know someone over there
that can't really keep a secret.

- You think they're having the
same conversation

about you at The Star right now?

- Come here a second?

- We can work it
around your schedule.

- I have to think about it.

- Well, what if we get Ashley,
that girl from his office?

She wouldn't go on record,

but what if we did
get her on record?

- Nobody gives a fuck
about her story!

They want to see a video
of a mayor smoking crack.

- Yo.

- Remember the budget increase
we voted against?

Office expenses?

- "Office expenses". Yeah.

- It was voted through, but Rob
refused to take it.

Where does it live?
The refused amount.

- Technically?

I guess it's in our
office purses

and whatever surplus is left
at the end of fiscal

goes back into the pot.

- And they, uh, argued that
office means "office".

Like, in the end,
they're using it for what?

- Whatever. Dubman uses it
to sponsor a little league team.

- You can use it
in your community?

- You can. Why?

- I wanna give to a community
charity using "office" expenses.

Kosher?

- Dubman and Inchens and them
do a "women's lunch"

for themselves once in a while.

It's charged to their offices,
so if the people of Toronto

are unknowingly paying for
$20 kale Caesars,

I'm sure they'll be fine
not knowing they're also

giving to charity.

- Great.

- I want to know
what is on there,

so make sure he thinks
we have more than we do.

- This is good, Judith.

You can smile.

- Go back to your desk.

- What's good?

- Should I put these on?

- I mean, if you wanna listen.

- All right, man.

That's enough.

- Can I watch it again?

- Nah.

Just one for free, man.

- Were you there?

- Yes.

- Did you take the video?

- He was there.

- What's in the pipe?

- Wha... Whadda you think, hm?

- I'm just-I'm just makin' sure.

- So, what are you maybe
thinking about the money?

- I think we can
get you some.

- Okay, so why don't you
tell your boss what you saw

and, uh, tell me a number, hm?

- Okay.

Calm down.

Here's what you do.

- Oh, hey!

- Rob!

- In a minute. Look,
a lot of people are here.

It's all in how they wanna
cut the waste,

stand here every day
to have their voices heard.

Good. Thank you for coming.

- Thanks. Thanks.

Hey, Rob.

- Oh, hey! How are ya?
Thanks for comin'.

- Hey! You're hiring
immigrants now, too, eh?

Yeah, you should get
him a cab, not a suit.

- No, no. Kamal's not...

No, Kamal's good.
No, that's not right.

- Ahhh, fuckin'
gravy train, Rob!

- Yeah, you got it, man!
You got it.

- Pay a fine.
- Ah, we just need...

Oh! That's him!

Um, just need...

Oh!

- What kind of feeling
do you get from this guy?

- What do you mean?

- Well, all we know
about him is that

whoever he's helping...
himself? Who knows?

All we know is that they're
involved in drugs.

Peripherally. Directly.

And it's not like some kid
selling weed to some nerds

playing gun games
in their basement.

Who are we giving
this money to?

We print murders every day...
gangs, whatever... but...

We're not bankrolling it.

- Well if... If someone
had a compromising video

of someone in power and...

I don't know, somehow they
used it as a chip

with the office,

then wouldn't it be better
for a paper to pay something?

Rather than have that person

hold some sort of power
that the people

would be affected by?

- Go buy us some clicks.

- Hello? Yes, I just got here.
I'm fine.

Mom. Mom, I'll call you back.

- Wrote it anyways.

- You wrote what?

- What the video is;
what's on it, 'kay? I, I...

We can just describe it.
I know what I saw and-and

how to do it. Here, look...

If people hear what's
on the video...

- The people that'll
believe it will believe it

and the one's that won't,
they won't.

- No, no, no! Dave, Dave,
I think that if we just

print this, then
it's pretty much...

- Come here. Look. Come here.

Look.

- This is insane.

- Why are you smiling?

- Why aren't you?

- Seriously? Seriously,
this is my story. This is-

- Oh, Jesus Christ!
You gotta stop saying that.

- This is... They don't even have
the video, okay?

They're just describing it.

- They're raising
the money for it

on top of the ten you gave away.

- You're still here for
the same reasons I am.

You could've bailed.

- I need this job, too.

But,

maybe it's...

Dude, if you've
smoked crack once

in the past, does that impact
your ability to be mayor?

I don't know. Maybe.

It's a discussion. Fine.

But if you get blackout
drunk enough

that you can't remember the time
that you harassed someone?

Then you should not
be mayor of this city.

You know,

I thought you would
say something to him;

ask Rob to apologize
for what he said to me.

But then I thought,

"Maybe Kamal doesn't have
that much control

over what Rob says".

But you didn't even
say anything to me.

It was just another day.

I was just another woman.

Another story for you to bury.

- Fuck...

- I came in today...

And there you guys were.

And here we are.

- And that's everything
you know?

- Yeah.

- You got anything else?

- Rob?

- You know what the kids
are gonna say they find out

I'm fired?

- You can't get fired,
really. Not like that.

- Yes, they can!

They called me.

They don't want me
to do it anymore.

They're gonna get the
phys ed guy to coach now.

He don't even know those kids.

He coaches girls' volleyball
and now he's gonna coach

my team!

- You're still the Mayor, Rob.

- The kids are gonna
read this shit.

I didn't do bad things.

I just want to make things good.

You know, I go and I meet
everyone and I help 'em.

I don't care what.

Yeah, but they just
wanna get me.

You don't think it'll
be forever, do you?

Just, like a suspension,
more of?

- The coaching?

I think if there's no
video then nothing's...

- No, there's no video!

I swear, there's none.

I was just hanging out
with the kids.

You know, we were
just hanging out.

Like regular, you know?

- But there's no video,
though, Rob, right?

- Yeah, but they always
just want to get something.

And they're always
on their phone.

And I know they're there
and I know they're doing shit.

Sometimes I leave here
and there's a cop car

and I swear that I know
that it's the same...

I get home and
it's the same car,

just driving around.

You know, like it's looking
for somethin',

or trying to put somethin'
there... plantin', like.

There's a game tonight.

I want you to give me
their numbers.

We'll order pizza and then

I'll tell them all
to come over here

after their game.

- I think we gotta wait, Rob.

- No. I wanna eat pizza

and I wanna eat pizza
with the kids.

- Rob, I don't think
that's a good...

- You're not the fuckin' boss!
I'm the boss!

You find the numbers
and you write 'em down.

You just do that!

You think it's a
fucking math test?

It's not math numbers!

- Okay.

I'll get the numbers,
but then I'm gonna go.

- What? No.

No! No, don't leave, Kamal.

No.

No. All right, all right;

we'll just take a break and
we'll come back in a little.

All right? I love ya'.

I love ya', Kamal.

You're my friend.

I'm sorry, okay?

Okay?

Huh? Okay, so, and then
you can come back after.

- Remember that night?
Here with your friends?

- Huh?

- You yelled something
to Ashley.

And I was here
the next day...

- Who?

Who? No, no. I don't remember.

- You did, Rob.

- You know, well, you know,
I was...

I was having a good time.
I, uh...

You know, I was a little
out of control that night.

I was. I know. I'm not arguing.

- I'm gonna go...

- So go!!

I'm on my knees, but
I'm not a fucking cunt.

I'm not begging for ya'.

Go!

I'll order pizza! Easy.

- You know, Rob,

I love that you answer
everyone's call

and that you see everyone
that needs something

and that you like to have
a good time when you're out.

I thought that'd be
a cool guy to work for.

That's a good mayor.

But, if you're drunk enough
you don't know you harassed

one of your own...

- If you're done, I have
another Kamal comin'.

No problem, buddy.

Get out!

- It's on here.

I can't tell you how I got it,
but it's... But it's there.

- We tapped the guy's phones.

- Rob's?

- The video guy.

- He in trouble?

- Yeah, we can't say.

- But, yeah.

- Is he gonna lose his job?

- He's the mayor.

- Is that a yes or no?

- Am I in trouble?

- No.

It wasn't illegal, what you did.

Stupid, but not illegal.

We're just trying to figure out
how to get your boss

her money back, is all. But...

Yeah. You're fine.

- But your judgment was just

way, way off.

I don't see how we can
continue with you from here.

- Wait, like...

Like, at all?

- I like you, Bram. Mostly.

But, you know, this was just...

- You're firing me?

- We're not renewing
your contract.

- But you...

You guys gave the go ahead.

- All you had to do was show up
and do what you were asked.

Show up, shut up, head down.
That's all a kid like you

has to know, has to do.

You think I'm sitting
on this side of the desk

because I showed up?

You think everybody who wanted
to work here knew somebody?

That's your chance.

So, no, you don't get another
until you earn it.

Maybe I should've thought
longer before trusting

someone so green, or maybe you
took too big a bite.

I don't know. But...

I think:

maybe you're just not
a very good journalist.

- Bram? Come on back.

Hey.

- I banged your pussy.

- Are you sure
that's what he said?

- But you had been drinking
that night, correct?

- What?

- Ah, I was just, um...

I know that sometimes
if I have a drink or two,

I'll remember different.
I just...

Are you sure you're remembering
exactly what happened?

- Yes.

And even though I had a beer
before coming here,

I'll also remember that I said
"fuck you" to a police officer

when you ask me if that
actually happened, too.

- Look, I...

- Fuck you!

Any other questions?

- I see you were volunteering as
a football coach for a period.

But, well, were you doing
anything to keep yourself sharp?

I noticed there's
actually a large gap

between you're graduating
and now.

- Uh, I was working.

- I think I may have
the old version here.

- Uh, no. No, I was, uh...

I was finding that I wasn't
getting called in for anything,

so...

So, I figured if I could
explain my last job in person

it wouldn't be such a red flag.

- Dare I ask where
you last worked?

- I worked in the
mayor's office.

- Of Toronto?

- Yes.

So, before you decide that
anyone who worked there

must have been a complete moron,
I can explain what I did there

and how I did it,
how I did my job.

Which, given the circumstances,

I think I did pretty
damn well, actually.

- And what was your
job title there?

- Officially or unofficially?

- Officially.

- Special Assistant
to the Mayor.

- And unofficially?

- Mayor.

We are
waiting outside the office...

Oh! Here's Mayor Ford.

- I want to call Mayor Britannia
in Hamilton and tell him

we're gonna have to spank
the little Tiger Cats.

Oh! And the last thing:
Ashley Pollack.

It says she says I wanted to eat
her pussy, Ashley Pollack.

I've never said that in my life
to her, I would never do that.

I'm happily married. I've got
more than enough to eat at home.

Thank you very much.

You're on and you want
to say something, you know?

You, what do-
what do you say to her?

- Oh! And the last thing:
Ashley Pollack.

It says she says I wanted to
eat her pussy... Ashley Pollack.

I've never said that in my life
to her. I would never do that.

I'm happily married. I've got
more than enough to eat at home.

That's what
you say right there!

Thank you, Rob!

Right there. Thank you, Rob.

- Okay, so, other than
sort of knowing Deb,

what should I know about you?

- Uh, well I went to
Western for undergrad and...

- No, no. I got all that.
I read the resume.

You're a writer.

Pitch me.

- Yeah. Um...

Well, I guess the news
is meant to be divisive now.

Like...

Anything. You're left,
or right,

old or young.

Yeah.

Yeah, you don't know how many
articles - news articles -

I have read about how people
my age are lazy and entitled

and...

everything that's wrong
with the world.

Uh, I am not lazy.

I don't think my friends
are lazy. Um...

I mean, I spent my
entire life in school

trying to be the best one in the
class because that's what they

told us to do and, so, I did.

I, uh, I did every program that
my parents signed me up for.

Um...

You know, hockey on Mondays
and guitar on Tuesdays,

karate on Wednesdays,

hockey on Thursday
mornings again.

Uh... A math tutor that night.
Playdate, playdate, playdate.

We were, um, bred
to be doing stuff.

Constantly, with-with
everyone else. And, so...

If I get bored easily,
yeah, I mean,

I-I had a busier social calendar
before the age of 11

than most heads-of-state do.
So...

So, no. I do not really.
I-I don't get the "lazy" thing.

You know, we-we-we've been
constantly stimulated

since the moment our mothers
realized that something

was growing in them.

Before they even bought
the pee sticks,

they went to the CD store

so they could blast classical
music into their wombs, so...

You know, you'll have to
forgive me if, once in a while,

I don't know what to do with
myself, so I play on my phone.

Um...

And...

Uh, entitled?

Uh, you get annoyed because

we got participation ribbons
for everything, you know,

even if we didn't win. But...

But isn't that

pretty great, though? I mean...

You know, am I entitled? Yes.

Yeah, I am. You know,
I want things.

I think that I deserve things.
But I, you know I know that

I have to work hard for the
stuff that I want. I'm not...

I'm not an idiot. Um...

I'll never be able
to afford a house, but...

But I want one.

You know, I don't... I'm not sure
that I can get married

any time soon, but I-I-I
would like to, I guess.

Um,

you know, I'd just be happy
to buy a car at this point.

And, I mean,

there's-there's the
constant pressure

to just do all that stuff
already from-from the

people that bought houses
and-and got married and stuff

when they were 22.

And, then, elected people
that are gonna screw us

for the next 50 years.

I mean if we haven't
destroyed the earth by then.

Yes, I-I think that, uh,
participation ribbons

are-are really great.

Actually, I-I, you know, I don't
have to be the best! I wanna be.

I do! I wanna be the best,
but I...

But if I'm not, I don't...

I think I should still
be able to participate.

You know? I-I...

To-to-to do something
that I love, or...

be a part of something,
or, at least

just get paid for it, you know?

I-I want to participate,
so, yes!

I would, yes, I would like
my fucking participation ribbon.

I'm sorry that I...
That I swore just now.

Bram?

Sorry for the wait.

- Let me show you around.

- Yeah.