Ruffiano and Sweeteeth (1997) - full transcript
Beyond deep woods
And rounded hills
The Czech valley lays
It's a nice country
Peasants are working on the fields
Craftsmen are famous for their diligence
But there are also bandits
And the worst one is arch-bandit Lotrando
♪ Under the oak, behind the oak ♪
♪ We will be waiting for you ♪
♪ Under the oak, behind the oak ♪
♪ We will steal from you ♪
♪ Bandits by profession ♪
♪ are masters, are masters ♪
♪ Bandits by profession ♪
♪ are best in the region ♪
♪ We say "Hands in the air!" ♪
♪ And get loads of money ♪
♪ No other profession ♪
♪ was ever so profitable ♪
♪ Under the oak, behind the oak ♪
♪ We will be waiting for you ♪
♪ Under the oak, behind the oak ♪
♪ We will steal from you ♪
♪ The dumb are buyers, the clever thieves ♪
♪ Give us sugar, give us groats ♪
♪ Sit, foreman, on the rug! ♪
♪ You got robbed by murderers ♪
♪ A bandit never bargains ♪
♪ Stealing is so much fun ♪
♪ What he takes, never returns ♪
♪ Because he's a scoundrel ♪
♪ Under the oak, behind the oak ♪
♪ We will be waiting for you ♪
♪ Under the oak, behind the oak ♪
♪ We will steal from you ♪
I'm surprised you're not ashamed,
you greedy scum!
Decent job is not good
enough for you, only stealing
None of your business, woodsman!
♪ Bad thing succeeded ♪
♪ Brute force won ♪
♪ That's how it works in the world ♪
♪ Despite all teachings ♪
♪ Bandits by profession ♪
♪ are masters, are masters ♪
♪ Bandits by profession ♪
♪ are best in the region ♪
We had some good robbing
Good
No blood was spilt
Not even a drop today
If it's not necessary,
there shouldn't be any shooting or slaying
But if it IS necessary,
there just should be shooting and slaying!
Remember this
these principles
More!
More!
And also what's interesting is that
the more we have
the more
the more
the more we have
the more we steal
you dumb-ass!
Step-mommy!
What about my little son
Is he sleeping?
Yeah, yeah, he's sleeping
Such a life
A man doesn't see his own child
When have I seen him the last time?
I don't even remember
Was he eating?
Yeah, yeah, he did
When he grows up
I will put him in school
Why are you laughing?
Think I don't have money for it?
If they will take him to any school...
I think they don't take this kind
What kind?
What they don't take?
What have you done with my little son?
Where is he?
Come to papa, my little darling
Didn't you go pee-pee?
What is that?
That is your son, Mr. Lotrando
Good golly! Such news!
A man is working hard,
getting the livelihood
no time for his kid
and suddenly it grows up so much
And I was wondering why
there are no diapers hanging
Such an overgrown kid won't
be accepted to any school
And we will see if
they will take him or not!
Do you want to go to school?
He doesn't even know what it is!
Whole days he just stares
into the sky and herds goats
Only in winter, he looks
at the picture books
Which you stole from
the merchant from Vimperk
Wash him!
Debug him!
Comb his hair!
Dress him!
In the morning, he will go to school
I will give him the best school!
Right!
Because I have money for it!
Right!
♪ We will give school to the boy ♪
♪ Whatever it costs ♪
♪ No saving on the kid ♪
♪ Dad, reach into your pocket! ♪
♪ When bandit knows the letters ♪
♪ he will be transformed ♪
♪ When bandit knows the history ♪
♪ Then he's completely different ♪
♪ He will be the jewel
of the band of bandits ♪
♪ He will wear glasses and
maybe even suspenders ♪
♪ He will bring the
profession into next level ♪
♪ He will be scumbag -
intellectual! ♪
♪ He will learn French ♪
♪ He will have sideburns ♪
♪ He will learn grammar ♪
♪ of all and all the lawyers ♪
♪ He will learn German ♪
♪ He will say der Holztrog, not washtub ♪
♪ If he speaks fluently, he
can rob in the foreign countries ♪
♪ He will be the jewel
of the band of bandits ♪
♪ He will wear glasses and
maybe even suspenders ♪
♪ He will bring the
profession into next level ♪
♪ He will be scumbag -
intellectual! ♪
Far far away
In the land hot as a stove
Beyond sandy desert and
next to the Sargasso sea
There is the Soliman Sultany
Ruled by Sultan Soliman
He has a large belly and
large worries about his only daughter
Beautiful but ill princess Zubejda
Are you the last one?
Yeah, yeah
Water! Fresh water!
Fish! Fresh fish directly from the sea!
Fresh vegetables!
Just look how many healers, quacks,
shamans and all sorts of wizards came
to cure the poor princess Zubejda
He's coming - Sultan Soliman!
Our leader, our brightest sun!
Our leader, our brightest sun!
Our leader, our brightest sun!
Me?
Look, I brought something for you
Thanks!
One, two...
Go away, stinky!
You will only poison her!
Just look at her, Mr. Lustig
She's getting weaker,
more pale and skinny
And she's supposed to get married
One colleague sultan wants her
Rich one - he has six wives!
But if she looks pale like that,
I doubt he will still want her
That's bad
Czech bijouterie made
her happy every time
And where does it hurt, princess?
Nowhere, that's the thing
She doesn't even go for walks
And I bought her whole set of walks!
Zubejda, little daughter...
Where do you want to go today?
To the park or the market place?
So we will go to the market place
The market place,
that's... that's number 7
Fish! Fish! Fish! Sea fish!
Buy fresh sea creatures!
Catch that dog! He's
running away with my sausage!
Rounded melons, bent bananas
Don't believe, I ate
them and I'm still green
No melons! Buy fish!
If I may, Sultan Soliman...
Our leader, our brightest sun!
She's sorrowful
We know that!
Shut up, nanny
Rather make sure she eats
For that, you should call
for true, genuine
and graduate doctor from our country
No way some quacks and sharlatans
And how do you recognize
true, genuine and graduate doctor?
You recognize him by the name
starting with Dr.
For example
Dr. Neumann
Or Dr. Belnár
And when he doesn't have Dr.,
that means he is not a doctor!
Hasn't got Dr. - not a doctor,
has got Dr. - is a doctor
I would rather write it for you
because you use the scribbles of yours
That's it
that's how we write it
Be careful not to erase it, stupid!
I prefer to punish them in advance
because after there would be no use
And one more thing
If the doctor wanted
to bring his sister nurse
he should!
Because, a sister nurse
is the doctor's right hand!
Wouldn't it be better Mr. Lustig,
if you went with them?
Well... I could
So we are sure they bring
the right man for the job
Did you understand?
Take those two and one camel,
so Mr. Lustig doesn't have to walk
And now, I would like to buy
some trinkets for my wives
More wives, more worries
You give something to
one, another wants it too
You surely know?
I don't...
The boy has just somehow overgrown
I see, I see
And why didn't you bring him sooner?
There was no time
Too much work
Can you read and write, son?
What is this?
Little house
The boy isn't dumb
I also think it's like a shack
You are also illetarate?
Mr. ?
Lotrando is my name
Also, my good man, also.
But I wasn't
But now, especially in the morning
I'm totally illetarate
I can't straighten my back
Well, it's the age...
Mr. mayor
Call me Father Prior,
Mr. Lotrando
Yeah, yeah
So we are clear, daddy Prior
I don't want my son to be a Bible beater
I mean a vicar,
if you understand me?
I understand
You want to give the
boy a secular knowledge
That's possible, but...
Rather costly
Only the well adjusted can afford that
We could teach the boy French
Merci
And German
Danke schön
And here is some mix
So much money
Where did you get that?
My good man?
Where I could, daddy Prior
Where I could
Don't worry about the boy!
When he leaves our convict,
you won't recognize him!
And what does he do, your
good father, my dear son?
Well I don't know
In the morning he goes to the valley
and in the evening he brings back gold
So he must be a gold digger
Your father's business
is therefore a gold mine
Yeah, I guess
And what about your dear mother,
taking care of the household I presume?
I have only step-mommy
Your mother passed away?
Don't ask
They told me "Don't ask"
I asked but they
told me "Don't ask"
So let's go, I will
show you around
♪ Monks are silent,
silent like mice ♪
♪ And write into the chronicle ♪
♪ That on the Year 5 AD ♪
♪ The world still hasn't changed ♪
♪ People are sinful ♪
♪ In Prague and also in Míšeň ♪
♪ And this year we've
got a lot of cherries ♪
♪ And Saint Lucie... ♪
♪ drinks a bit of the night ♪
♪ In the monastery there is no comfort ♪
♪ They pray all the time ♪
♪ When the buzz of the bees goes away ♪
♪ They go to sleep to their humble cells ♪
♪ Monks are silent, and
different from people ♪
♪ That they have
higher interests ♪
♪ And not the earthly ones ♪
♪ They don't think about women ♪
♪ They fast a lot ♪
♪ And only when the guests arrive ♪
♪ Then in all honesty ♪
♪ They drink a bit from the glass ♪
♪ But from this little one ♪
♪ In the monastery there is no comfort ♪
♪ They pray all the time ♪
♪ When the buzz of the bees goes away ♪
♪ They go to sleep to their humble cells ♪
Everyone to their cell!
♪ They fast a lot ♪
♪ And only when the guests arrive ♪
♪ Then in all honesty ♪
♪ They drink a bit from the glass ♪
♪ But from this little one ♪
♪ But from this little one ♪
♪ But from this little one ♪
Are they coming yet?
They're not!
And are you looking?
I am!
You see I'm looking!
So look properly!
Yeah, yeah...
And in the meantime
in the Czech valley
the son of the bandit was
becoming an educated young man
But pay attention!
The world is small
and full of coincidences
You are red as a red man, sir
Are you an Indian?
Red man - on a tree!
Indian - on a tree!
What's that?
Wait, son, I will help you
Cut it, son!
I thank you sincerely, young man
You are welcome
My name is Lustig
Nice to meet you
And I travel with bijouterie
Home residence: Jablonec
But I'm traveling all the time
Shame
Thank you, boys
I thought you were an Indian
Unfortunately
Can't be of service
But you haven't seen a foreign
expedition here, have you?
With a camel?
Nah
We were ambushed!
But we gave that old bandit hell!
I made him run so far!
But my legs
are not as quick as they used to be
I didn't manage to escape
Why is she so sad?
Well, she is missing
something, young man
And so, whenever, brothers,
you see someone on a branch
behave the same way
as our clever Lotrando
Cut without hesitation
And now I kindly ask Mr. Lustig
to tell us something about bijouterie
Sure
Bijouterie from Jablonec
Or like we of the profession
call it shortly - bijou
has a great name in the world
We don't hide it's an imitation
We admit it!
with its affordable price
Wonderful work
Right?
For example here
However, the thieves didn't understand that
They said "It's a fake!"
"You wanted to cheat us!"
"You will hang!"
I said "Her Gott, Sacra, guys..."
I said...
"Crucifix, guys?"
"Crucisand, guys?"
Only "sand", Mr. Lustig
Only "sand"
I said "Sand!"
"Guys!"
"You have never heard
about our famous bijouterie?"
And their capo
That thug!
Some Lotrando!
What a coincidence!
My young savior has the
same name as the old scoundrel
Just the same name, Mr. Lustig
Just the same name
The father of this boy
is a gold mine owner
Well
The world is small
and full of coincidence
So that bastard
May I?
The bastard said
"Himmel Her Gott! Hang him by the legs"
"Himmel Laudon?"
And he said "Laudon,
hang him by the legs"
"On the tree!"
Her Gott, It's so
hard to lecture here
Are they coming yet?
They're not!
Don't lie to me!
I swear they are not coming!
And are you looking?
I am!
So look properly!
I'm looking properly!
Lotrando is leaving!
Where is he?
There he is!
It's about damn time!
I hope we can make it!
Farewell, my son
Dad is barely hanging there
Vincek!
You lazy dog!
Do you bring my god damn boy?
You bet I am!
But I don't know if
you understand him
He talks like a mix of a
Bible beater and a parrot
My dear father
I wish the allmighty God
will cherish you for long years
for the joy of your near ones
and the unspeakable offspring
Slow down, boy! Slow down
I'm riding to hell
and I have no time
for your sweet nonsense
Listen carefully
I wanted to leave bags of gold for you
so you could live
without any effort
But bloody hell, boy
there were such hard
times for our profession
Dear father, I was unaware
that you are in such a grave need
Well, yeah
Everyone left me
Like rats
It's a high time
for you to take over
my boy
Dear father
If you wish that
I will take over your profession
And I will do it honestly
willingly
and kindly to everyone
I don't know how you will
do with kindness in our job
And may I ask, my dear father?
What is your honest profession?
Robbery
You see?
Stick with that
Robbery?
Well yeah
Mainly, my boy
Never work
Yes
Yes, daddy
dear
In that moment, the bandit's sinful soul
started to head for the Heaven
But because it was too heavy
from all the terrible sins
It had to go elsewhere
And we know where
So Lotrando was
left in the world alone
Devastated by both
the death of his father
and also the
ill-considered promise
that he will take over his job
and becomes a bandit
PLUM LIQUOR
Vizovice
Top of the morning to you
I hope I'm not disturbing you
My God, not in the slightest
And what can I do for you?
My good man?
I ask you with all my
heart not to be scared, sir
So you understand,
I am a terrible bandit Lotrando
Bollocks!
Yes please
I don't take any joy in this
but I promised to my father
in his last hour
So I have to
I'll be damned, so the
old Lotrando is dead?
The guys in the pub in Vizovice
will be so pleased to hear that!
So
will you give me
everything willingly?
It would be better
for both of us
I won't
I see
Stab!
In that case, I have to stab you
I ask you to prepare and pray
Go on!
Here
Now?
Yes
Angel, my guardian,
take care of my soul...
Don't fool around, he's
delaying on purpose!
Stab him!
Live human?
To stab?
It would surely hurt him
Good gracious...
Dad is watching from above, young sir
or from below?
In any case, he sees everything!
Well, mister, are you
properly confessed?
No way, I am a terrible sinner
But I thought of something
If I could go to
Kostelec for confession
The Lord would hopefully forgive me
You know what, sir, I will
now go guickly to Kostelec
Confess
And when I return
you can go ahead and stab me
Good thought
Right?
I will wait here next to your carriage
I see your horse there
If you could lend
it to me please
So I can be back faster
You are right, it will be faster
Exactly
Go ahead
It's a nice horse
I guess it will be windy on him
If you could lend me the jacket?
Here you go
The nice hat also
They said all kinds of filth
are going through these woods
so if you could lend me the gun
and this one too!
You know, so I can keep my word
We have to get lost
We will bring this and go away
Wait a second, Vincek
The same way I promised my father
that I will take over his job
I promised the merchant
right now that I will wait for him
Here
Promise is a promise
Old Lotrando is dead and next to
the oak young one is robbing
Come on!
Let's go! Quickly!
Young sir, let's get wasted at least
We won't get,
we will be wasted
Not yet!
You will have to wait longer
Such a happy birthday today
Oh, I wish you all
the best, young sir
Health is most important
And how old are you exactly?
I'm not underage anymore
Well, in that case, two weights
were lifted from my heart
Your mom, I mean, Mrs. Madla
Before your father sold her to slavery
because he was really bankrupt
She said when saying goodbye:
When Lotrando comes of age
give him this
So he has a memory of me
So I'm giving to you
So she hasn't died, my dear mommy
he sold her to slavery, my dear daddy
How was she?
Tell me about her
Well, Mrs. Madla
She was a kind soul
She was so young and caring
Not so good for your father
All the time, she told him
to stop with the robbing
and starts with a decent work
Well, so now the second
weight from my heart
I promised the old man that I would
assist you before you come of age
So that job is finished for me, young sir
But...
Don't hold it against me,
but you are not very clumsy for this job
Spoiled by all schools
that it will be best If I
continue on my own
Go
and have no regrets, Vincek
Under the oak, behind the oak
We will be waiting for you
Under the oak, over the oak
Money or your life!
What's that?
Well... Money or your life
I'm a terrible bandit Lotrando
I see
Well, damn, I don't have money
So I can only give my life
Your life you say?
That's right
Or...
Bread with quark
Bread with quark or your life!
Thank you
if we grabbed it by the right end
there could also be the money
Forgive me that I speak with my mouth full
but which end do you mean?
This one!
♪ Better than handouts,
better than robbery ♪
♪ Is the two-man
saw with sharp teeth ♪
♪ Go for it with knack,
don't sweat it too much ♪
♪ So we can manage
it before the night ♪
♪ So we can manage
it before the night ♪
What just appeared
on my forehead?
I guess that will be sweat
Isn't it a symptom of a disease?
Not at all, sweat
is a healthy thing!
♪ Cut it, cut it, cut it ♪
♪ So it makes a good sound ♪
♪ Cut it, cut it, cut it ♪
♪ So it haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas ♪
♪ the zing! ♪
♪ Thirst, thirst, thirst ♪
♪ can torture us ♪
♪ The innkeeper is our friend ♪
♪ He will prepaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare ♪
♪ our drink ♪
What's happening on my hand?
Probably it's callus
And isn't it a
symptom of a disease?
No way! Callus is a healthy thing
Move aside!
♪ Better than handouts,
better than robbery ♪
♪ Is the two-man
saw with sharp teeth ♪
♪ Go for it with knack,
don't sweat it too much ♪
♪ So we can manage
it before the night ♪
♪ So we can manage
it before the night ♪
Isn't this work?
And what else would it be?
Sadly I can't do that
What nonsense are you saying?
Don't blame me, woodsman
but I promised my father I
will only earn from robbery
Goodness gracious!
To be honest with you,
I don't enjoy robbery at all
I don't even think I'm suited for it
It seems to me also like that
But my father's last
words were: "Don't work"
In that case, you
don't need to worry
because this was no work
That was only fooling around
Really?
♪ Without any fun,
without any fun ♪
♪ Foreign delegation
is coming to you ♪
♪ We are very pretty rich ♪
♪ Also smart as foxes ♪
♪ We are foreign ambassadors ♪
♪ We are bringing you gifts in a bag ♪
♪ After the journey,
everything is hurting ♪
♪ Offer us bread with salt ♪
Me - great Hálí
Who - you?
Me - Dry wood cutter
And my name is Drnec
Dr. Nec?
Write it
Write?
I will write it for him
Dr...
...nec you said?
That!
Him!
Mister
You
Now
Do
That
Going
With us
And why's that?
Why's that because our sultan Soliman
Our leader, our brightest sun!
Needs you
Like
Salt
And you will be rich
like you never dreamt
in the bed of that
Here
You
Deposit
I'm baffled
What do you think about it?
Work in a foreign land
is usually better paid
It's a hard currency
Hell... Mr. ambassadors...
I would have to ask my wife
Mine
Máňa
If you here
have to ask wife
We will ask wife
♪ Without any fun,
without any fun ♪
♪ Foreign delegation
is coming to you ♪
♪ We are very pretty rich ♪
♪ Also smart as foxes ♪
♪ We are foreign ambassadors ♪
♪ We are bringing you gifts in a bag ♪
♪ After the journey,
everything is hurting ♪
♪ Offer us bread with salt ♪
♪ Prepare some food, mom ♪
♪ Foreign diplomats
are coming to us ♪
♪ Introduce yourself,
introduce yourself ♪
♪ Introduce yourself,
introduce yourself ♪
♪ This is my good wife ♪
♪ These are our good children ♪
♪ She's working hard
from the morning ♪
♪ She has to do
a lot of things ♪
♪ These are her parents ♪
♪ They are still in good health ♪
♪ These are my parents ♪
♪ They are also in good health ♪
♪ That's my sister Anna ♪
♪ She's blushing like a flower ♪
♪ So far she's not married ♪
♪ Taking care of our cattle ♪
♪ Introduce yourself,
introduce yourself ♪
♪ Introduce yourself,
introduce yourself ♪
Who won't have enough, can get seconds
It's only millet mash
Such a poor meal
Mrs. Dr. Nec,
if you let Dr. Nec with us
poverty end
Our sultan Soliman
Our leader, our brightest sun!
He rich
This
Gift for you
My goodness
Such a beauty
You shouldn't have
We should have because
we need your Dr. Nec with us
Mash good, want seconds
So dad would also earn
money for a new roof?
He will be rich
Three roofs
you will have over you
Three roofs?
Bactrian camel
In Latin: Camelus ferrus bactrianus
In Slovak: Ťava
Takes over 50 litres of water
So he could go over desert
Why does he have the humps?
There is a storage of fat
Damn, boy, you don't seem like it
but you have
knowledge like a teacher
And dried camel dung
can be used as fuel
What is your name?
Hálí
And you?
Bélí
And you?
Zélí
Me, at home,
also such a kid, like you
And what's the name?
Small Zélí
And for you sister unmarried
Ring
Dr. Nec, your sister unmarried
comes too
And why's that?
Why's that because
our sultan Soliman
Our leader, our brightest sun!
Stop it!
Wait for home
You don't have to here
Because our sultan Soliman
said
Sister with you
She - your right hand
No way
Anička stays here
She - right hand of my wife
Máňa
Mr. Hálí
If you want to know
who could be my right hand
then it's educated Lotrando here
We
will give our heads together
Dr. Nec, you misbehave
But have it your way
Thank you, Mr. Drnec
I will get to know foreign lands
and compare it with knowledge
gained from reading books
Mainly we need
to have sharp taxes
Yeah, that's right
♪ On a journey, on a journey ♪
♪ On a journey for a work ♪
What's that? Work?
♪ Hat is protecting us from the sun ♪
Don't worry
♪ Hat is protecting us from the sun ♪
♪ Moss is our mattress ♪
♪ Foreign people in foreign lands ♪
♪ Foreign land and habits ♪
♪ They always give us some water ♪
♪ We will wash our face ♪
♪ The globe, how beautiful you are ♪
♪ Here is a path, here is a road ♪
♪ Here is field, here are woods ♪
♪ We are rising to the sky ♪
♪ On a journey, on a journey ♪
♪ On a journey to a work ♪
♪ Hat is protecting us from the sun ♪
♪ Moss is our mattress ♪
♪ Foreign people in foreign lands ♪
♪ Foreign land and habits ♪
♪ They always give us some water ♪
♪ We will wash our face ♪
Long way ahead of you?
Long way ahead of us
Long way ahead of us, still
How far is that?
Very very far
There where are tropical rains
♪ On a journey, on a journey ♪
♪ On a journey for a work ♪
For work?
Don't worry, let's go
♪ Hat is protecting us from the sun ♪
♪ Moss is our mattress ♪
♪ On a journey, on a journey ♪
♪ On a journey, on a journey ♪
♪ On a journey... ♪
Are they coming yet?
They're not!
Don't lie
They are coming
Honestly, they are coming
They are coming!
They are coming!
You see
When you look
properly, they are coming
Fish, fish, fish!
Rounded melons, bent bananas!
Fresh vegetables!
Don't buy fish, they stink!
Buy fresh vegetables!
Our dearest master
Master Sultan Soliman
Our leader...
Our leader, our brightest sun!
About time!
We are bringing you famous doctor
from the island of Europe
It is Dr. Nec
and he spells exactly
according to the table
So we know
that we found the true
and also genuine doctor!
Because he is not only Dr. Nec
but also Dr. Ywoodcutter
Look at that!
And here is his right hand
Assistento Lotrando
And Hálí?
Where is Lustig?
Lustig was captured in
a fight with czech bandits
We found the doctors on our own
and here they are!
Let's go
So look at her, Mr. doctor
You shall look at her
Me?
Well, the girl is like cabbage
I don't like her
I like her, Mr. Drnec
Me too, of course
But she is somehow... that...
unwell
What are they saying?
specialized medical gibberish
Skinny as a rail
No color in her face
Something's missing
But not that she's not beautiful
Beautiful she is
I think that the girl is sick
Still gibberish?
Doctor thinks that she's ill
We also know that
Tell him
Before who didn't
cure her, got spanked
From now on, who doesn't cure her,
Cut! Heads down!
And we will save on the return journey
Did he say anything interesting?
Not so much
Outside
me everything translate
Where are you from, young man?
Zadní Lhota
North of Makotřasy
You speak our language, Mrs.?
Good luck to you
You know I'm only simple nanny
and sultan doesn't listen to me
but I think the princess is
missing three ordinary things
Let's go
No time for talking
I hope you will get safely back home
And if your healing
by chance not work
you - heads down!
We do that here on this place
And who is this man?
That's our executioner
Hello, Hasan!
Hiya!
Hiya!
Hálí, Hálí
My God, the two of
us should cure her?
Yeah... That's why you are here
Hálí, my friend,
what are you saying?
For healing there are doctors
Doctors
He's a doctor
He has Dr. before his name
Good heavens, what
kind of doctor am I?
Hálí
I'm an ordinary dry wood cutter!
Dr. Ywoodcutter
Or Dr. Nec
We don't care
But not Dr. Ywoodcutter
but dry wood cutter
He's a lumberjack!
What's that?
Well, why do you think we
have these things with us?
You - not a doctor?
Not a doctor
Why's that?
In that case, you
need to go with me
Where?
There
This way
There
This will be your home
Here you will be rather
Why's that?
Why's that because
if you told someone
that you are not doctors
first head of Hálí would fall
Then Bélí
and Zélí
All our heads would fall
I've never been in such a pickle
Mr. Drnec
Isn't this prison by any chance?
Yeah, this is a brig
Lamad?
What is it, young lady?
And father was serious that
the two will lose their life
if they won't heal me?
Probably he did, princess
I'm sorry for them
Well me too, girl
But I doubt they will heal you
They didn't look like doctors
But
the young one looks like a prince
Yeah?
But some very poor prince
You told me that in your country
every man likes only one woman
Only one
And they are from your country?
Yes, they are from ours
From Makotřasy
And could we somehow
save their lives?
If they don't cure you,
they can't be helped
Doctors are not here?
They aren't
And where are they?
Why they don't heal?
Fellow countrymen!
Fellow countrymen
I brought you someone
What are you doing
here, Mr. Lustig?
Well, the world is small
and full of coincidence
Mr. Lustig
This is Mr. Drnec
Nice to meet you
But you got yourselves
into a serious situation
I have some influence on the sultan
but concerning
Zubejda, he has no mercy
Where are your doctors, Hálí?
Why they don't heal?
Doctors
They are, sultan Soliman
our leader...
Make it short
They are down and
mix all kinds of creams
and healing potions
Also. And they
don't like our sun
Our gold one
So they need to be in the cold
And when is the execution?
Tomorrow already
Already?
Time just went by
Princess is missing
three ordinary things
the nanny said
Three things
I thought
that we will show
them how can we work
They have it overgrown
For shame!
In such a house
there is lot of moisture
Fungus, mould and earwigs!
And where the sun doesn't
shine, a doctor has to go
Wait a second...
I just thought of something
What if we...?
You're thinking totally?
What did he say?
What if you...?
But this time we do it
properly, no fooling around
Hálí is a cigar person
We now give yo your final wish
Short walk and then
quickly to the execution
And Drnec, why do you
bring all these things?
Why? So noone steals them
Drnec, I didn't
sleep the whole night
You will lose your heads!
But if not you, then us!
I prefer all the
heads on the necks
Well, me too!
Hey, Mr. Hálí
Great Mr. Hálí
A word, if you please?
I have something for you
from Kutná Hora
Class
Can I smell a bit?
♪ Better than handouts,
better than robbery ♪
♪ Is the two-man
saw with sharp teeth ♪
♪ Go for it with knack,
don't sweat it too much ♪
♪ So we can manage
it before the night ♪
♪ So we can manage
it before the night ♪
What are they doing there?
They are singing national songs
That's what our prisoners
do before execution
♪ Cut it, cut it, cut it ♪
♪ So it makes a good sound ♪
♪ Cut it, cut it, cut it ♪
♪ So it haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas ♪
♪ the zing! ♪
And why are they
making such a noise?
I guess they are dancing dupák
Dupák is a war dance?
Something like that
♪ Thirst, thirst, thirst ♪
♪ can torture us ♪
♪ The innkeeper is our friend ♪
♪ He will prepaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare ♪
♪ our drink ♪
♪ Better than handouts,
better than robbery ♪
♪ Is the two-man
saw with sharp teeth ♪
♪ Go for it with knack,
don't sweat it too much ♪
♪ So we can manage
it before the night ♪
♪ So we can manage
it before the night ♪
You're maybe thinking now
That's no fooling around
Now Lotrando is truly working
Well, I guess he realised
that there are moments in life
when you can't do without work
And that (just between us)
Not all advice from parents
are always wise
Nanny!
Lamad!
Come and see here
Come
They made here quite a clearing
What smells so nice?
What? Wood and resin
No, no, something else
If it's not my bread with quark
The quark
the older it is, the
nicer smell it has
Give me a bite
Princess begging for food?
That's a new thing!
So come here for it
You will bite it and spit it out
No chance!
More
Well Drnec, you will pay for this!
What dupák did you dance here?
All the trees completely crushed!
What if our sultan
Soliman sees this?
Our leader, our brightest sun!
Doctors
My darlings
She's eating!
She's not eating...
Why's that?
She's stuffing herself!
What kind of recipe
did you find, guys?
Simple thing
Where the sun doesn't
shine, a doctor has to go
I knew it but
young one here thought of it first
Three ordinary
things the girl needed
Light, air and...
Shout "Hooray!" and
celebrate for three days!
Shout "Hooray!" and
celebrate for three days!
Shout "Hooray!" and
celebrate for five days!
Celebrate for three days!
Celebrate for three days!
Hooray!
Do you like her?
She' so...
how should I put it...
so...
Appetitlich?
Yes
Dance with her!
Do you think I can?
Why not?
Mr. Musicians!
Polka!
I'm more for belly dancing
Belly?
Zubejda, look!
Hálí
Ask
why the doctor isn't happy
if he's rich and alive?
Dr. Nec,
Why you
Not happy
When you
No head falling down
Well, it is difficult
Just yesterday he
want it to execute us!
With people like this it's
hard to build friendship
What did he say?
specialized medical gibberish
Polka
isn't difficult at all
Look!
I would teach you in few lessons
That's a nice custom you have
What custom?
I mean - one man and one woman
Well, woman...
That's normal at home
For example Mr. Drnec
He has Mrs. Drnec
And that's it
And Mr. Lustig
before he became a widower
he had Mrs. Lustig
And that's it
And you?
Me?
I don't have anyone
And that's it?
And that's it
You know what's strange?
You don't know our
language, I don't know yours
And we still
understand each other
Why's that?
I don't know
Look
There
That's a constellation of Orion
Over there
Cassiopeia
You know the names of stars
You can handle the axe
I heard you are getting married
I will be the seventh wife
Seventh wife?
And whose?
Some sultan...
You will take the
doctors over the desert
Put them on the ship
And come right back
Yeah
But where the hell is the boy?
Mr. Drnec!
Mr. Drnec!
Bad news, Lotrando is sick
For crying out loud!
I hope it's not malaria
It could also be just sunstroke
Jesus Maria
Where does it hurt?
It starts here
and ends here?
Also here
I thought so
He's up to his ears in love
My God,
who could he be
in love with here?
Who do you think?
Probably who?
Don't worry about it, boy,
Zubejda also caught it
The whole night
she was delirious
And up to now I had
to teach her polka
And can you teach
me belly dancing?
I swear as my name is Lamad
Now think about
goofing around, Lotrando
Why didn't you tell me
his name is Lotrando?
Sonny!
My clover brought
you to me after all
Vincek gave it to you?
Mommy...
Well, the world is small
and full of coincidence
But
Why is your name Lamad, mommy?
Repeat the name
Lamad?
Lamad-lamad-lamad...
Lamad-lamad-lamad...
Madla!
Mr. Drnec, I'm not an orphan!
Only half-orphan!
Lotrando!
I know polka now!
And my dad is not against it!
Against what?
Against polka?
Nooo
That we like each other
At first, he was furious
That we are each from a
different country, religion
Different language
And that it's not reasonable
But...
I conviced him by crying
Three ordinary things
were needed to cure her
Light, air
and love
And now she has them all
♪ Something beautiful
happened to us ♪
♪ Something strange
happened to us ♪
♪ A girl found an unhappy boy ♪
♪ And fell in love with him ♪
♪ Something beautiful
happened to them ♪
♪ Something strange
happened to them ♪
♪ A girl found an unhappy boy ♪
♪ And fell in love with him ♪
♪ I'm the unhappy one ♪
♪ I'm the girl ♪
♪ And from that suddenly, ♪
♪ unreal love was created ♪
♪ I'm the unhappy one ♪
♪ I'm the girl ♪
♪ And from that suddenly, ♪
♪ unreal love was created ♪
♪ I didn't have
any joy in my life ♪
♪ now I think it is wonderful ♪
♪ it also seems very nice to me ♪
♪ I gained one kilo in two days ♪
♪ they asked her why she chose ♪
♪ this specific man for her man ♪
♪ she said it was caused by force ♪
♪ that beats all other forces ♪
♪ Something beautiful
happened to them ♪
♪ Something strange
happened to them ♪
♪ A girl found an unhappy boy ♪
♪ And fell in love with him ♪
♪ I'm the unhappy one ♪
♪ I'm the girl ♪
♪ And from that suddenly, ♪
♪ unreal love was created ♪
♪ I'm the unhappy one ♪
♪ I'm the girl ♪
♪ And from that suddenly, ♪
♪ unreal love was created ♪
♪ I'm the unhappy one ♪
♪ I'm the girl ♪
♪ And from that suddenly, ♪
♪ unreal love was created ♪
You might want to
know if they had kids
They had
And imagine this, not
even one became a bandit
Translation: Petr Jarušek 02/2020
And rounded hills
The Czech valley lays
It's a nice country
Peasants are working on the fields
Craftsmen are famous for their diligence
But there are also bandits
And the worst one is arch-bandit Lotrando
♪ Under the oak, behind the oak ♪
♪ We will be waiting for you ♪
♪ Under the oak, behind the oak ♪
♪ We will steal from you ♪
♪ Bandits by profession ♪
♪ are masters, are masters ♪
♪ Bandits by profession ♪
♪ are best in the region ♪
♪ We say "Hands in the air!" ♪
♪ And get loads of money ♪
♪ No other profession ♪
♪ was ever so profitable ♪
♪ Under the oak, behind the oak ♪
♪ We will be waiting for you ♪
♪ Under the oak, behind the oak ♪
♪ We will steal from you ♪
♪ The dumb are buyers, the clever thieves ♪
♪ Give us sugar, give us groats ♪
♪ Sit, foreman, on the rug! ♪
♪ You got robbed by murderers ♪
♪ A bandit never bargains ♪
♪ Stealing is so much fun ♪
♪ What he takes, never returns ♪
♪ Because he's a scoundrel ♪
♪ Under the oak, behind the oak ♪
♪ We will be waiting for you ♪
♪ Under the oak, behind the oak ♪
♪ We will steal from you ♪
I'm surprised you're not ashamed,
you greedy scum!
Decent job is not good
enough for you, only stealing
None of your business, woodsman!
♪ Bad thing succeeded ♪
♪ Brute force won ♪
♪ That's how it works in the world ♪
♪ Despite all teachings ♪
♪ Bandits by profession ♪
♪ are masters, are masters ♪
♪ Bandits by profession ♪
♪ are best in the region ♪
We had some good robbing
Good
No blood was spilt
Not even a drop today
If it's not necessary,
there shouldn't be any shooting or slaying
But if it IS necessary,
there just should be shooting and slaying!
Remember this
these principles
More!
More!
And also what's interesting is that
the more we have
the more
the more
the more we have
the more we steal
you dumb-ass!
Step-mommy!
What about my little son
Is he sleeping?
Yeah, yeah, he's sleeping
Such a life
A man doesn't see his own child
When have I seen him the last time?
I don't even remember
Was he eating?
Yeah, yeah, he did
When he grows up
I will put him in school
Why are you laughing?
Think I don't have money for it?
If they will take him to any school...
I think they don't take this kind
What kind?
What they don't take?
What have you done with my little son?
Where is he?
Come to papa, my little darling
Didn't you go pee-pee?
What is that?
That is your son, Mr. Lotrando
Good golly! Such news!
A man is working hard,
getting the livelihood
no time for his kid
and suddenly it grows up so much
And I was wondering why
there are no diapers hanging
Such an overgrown kid won't
be accepted to any school
And we will see if
they will take him or not!
Do you want to go to school?
He doesn't even know what it is!
Whole days he just stares
into the sky and herds goats
Only in winter, he looks
at the picture books
Which you stole from
the merchant from Vimperk
Wash him!
Debug him!
Comb his hair!
Dress him!
In the morning, he will go to school
I will give him the best school!
Right!
Because I have money for it!
Right!
♪ We will give school to the boy ♪
♪ Whatever it costs ♪
♪ No saving on the kid ♪
♪ Dad, reach into your pocket! ♪
♪ When bandit knows the letters ♪
♪ he will be transformed ♪
♪ When bandit knows the history ♪
♪ Then he's completely different ♪
♪ He will be the jewel
of the band of bandits ♪
♪ He will wear glasses and
maybe even suspenders ♪
♪ He will bring the
profession into next level ♪
♪ He will be scumbag -
intellectual! ♪
♪ He will learn French ♪
♪ He will have sideburns ♪
♪ He will learn grammar ♪
♪ of all and all the lawyers ♪
♪ He will learn German ♪
♪ He will say der Holztrog, not washtub ♪
♪ If he speaks fluently, he
can rob in the foreign countries ♪
♪ He will be the jewel
of the band of bandits ♪
♪ He will wear glasses and
maybe even suspenders ♪
♪ He will bring the
profession into next level ♪
♪ He will be scumbag -
intellectual! ♪
Far far away
In the land hot as a stove
Beyond sandy desert and
next to the Sargasso sea
There is the Soliman Sultany
Ruled by Sultan Soliman
He has a large belly and
large worries about his only daughter
Beautiful but ill princess Zubejda
Are you the last one?
Yeah, yeah
Water! Fresh water!
Fish! Fresh fish directly from the sea!
Fresh vegetables!
Just look how many healers, quacks,
shamans and all sorts of wizards came
to cure the poor princess Zubejda
He's coming - Sultan Soliman!
Our leader, our brightest sun!
Our leader, our brightest sun!
Our leader, our brightest sun!
Me?
Look, I brought something for you
Thanks!
One, two...
Go away, stinky!
You will only poison her!
Just look at her, Mr. Lustig
She's getting weaker,
more pale and skinny
And she's supposed to get married
One colleague sultan wants her
Rich one - he has six wives!
But if she looks pale like that,
I doubt he will still want her
That's bad
Czech bijouterie made
her happy every time
And where does it hurt, princess?
Nowhere, that's the thing
She doesn't even go for walks
And I bought her whole set of walks!
Zubejda, little daughter...
Where do you want to go today?
To the park or the market place?
So we will go to the market place
The market place,
that's... that's number 7
Fish! Fish! Fish! Sea fish!
Buy fresh sea creatures!
Catch that dog! He's
running away with my sausage!
Rounded melons, bent bananas
Don't believe, I ate
them and I'm still green
No melons! Buy fish!
If I may, Sultan Soliman...
Our leader, our brightest sun!
She's sorrowful
We know that!
Shut up, nanny
Rather make sure she eats
For that, you should call
for true, genuine
and graduate doctor from our country
No way some quacks and sharlatans
And how do you recognize
true, genuine and graduate doctor?
You recognize him by the name
starting with Dr.
For example
Dr. Neumann
Or Dr. Belnár
And when he doesn't have Dr.,
that means he is not a doctor!
Hasn't got Dr. - not a doctor,
has got Dr. - is a doctor
I would rather write it for you
because you use the scribbles of yours
That's it
that's how we write it
Be careful not to erase it, stupid!
I prefer to punish them in advance
because after there would be no use
And one more thing
If the doctor wanted
to bring his sister nurse
he should!
Because, a sister nurse
is the doctor's right hand!
Wouldn't it be better Mr. Lustig,
if you went with them?
Well... I could
So we are sure they bring
the right man for the job
Did you understand?
Take those two and one camel,
so Mr. Lustig doesn't have to walk
And now, I would like to buy
some trinkets for my wives
More wives, more worries
You give something to
one, another wants it too
You surely know?
I don't...
The boy has just somehow overgrown
I see, I see
And why didn't you bring him sooner?
There was no time
Too much work
Can you read and write, son?
What is this?
Little house
The boy isn't dumb
I also think it's like a shack
You are also illetarate?
Mr. ?
Lotrando is my name
Also, my good man, also.
But I wasn't
But now, especially in the morning
I'm totally illetarate
I can't straighten my back
Well, it's the age...
Mr. mayor
Call me Father Prior,
Mr. Lotrando
Yeah, yeah
So we are clear, daddy Prior
I don't want my son to be a Bible beater
I mean a vicar,
if you understand me?
I understand
You want to give the
boy a secular knowledge
That's possible, but...
Rather costly
Only the well adjusted can afford that
We could teach the boy French
Merci
And German
Danke schön
And here is some mix
So much money
Where did you get that?
My good man?
Where I could, daddy Prior
Where I could
Don't worry about the boy!
When he leaves our convict,
you won't recognize him!
And what does he do, your
good father, my dear son?
Well I don't know
In the morning he goes to the valley
and in the evening he brings back gold
So he must be a gold digger
Your father's business
is therefore a gold mine
Yeah, I guess
And what about your dear mother,
taking care of the household I presume?
I have only step-mommy
Your mother passed away?
Don't ask
They told me "Don't ask"
I asked but they
told me "Don't ask"
So let's go, I will
show you around
♪ Monks are silent,
silent like mice ♪
♪ And write into the chronicle ♪
♪ That on the Year 5 AD ♪
♪ The world still hasn't changed ♪
♪ People are sinful ♪
♪ In Prague and also in Míšeň ♪
♪ And this year we've
got a lot of cherries ♪
♪ And Saint Lucie... ♪
♪ drinks a bit of the night ♪
♪ In the monastery there is no comfort ♪
♪ They pray all the time ♪
♪ When the buzz of the bees goes away ♪
♪ They go to sleep to their humble cells ♪
♪ Monks are silent, and
different from people ♪
♪ That they have
higher interests ♪
♪ And not the earthly ones ♪
♪ They don't think about women ♪
♪ They fast a lot ♪
♪ And only when the guests arrive ♪
♪ Then in all honesty ♪
♪ They drink a bit from the glass ♪
♪ But from this little one ♪
♪ In the monastery there is no comfort ♪
♪ They pray all the time ♪
♪ When the buzz of the bees goes away ♪
♪ They go to sleep to their humble cells ♪
Everyone to their cell!
♪ They fast a lot ♪
♪ And only when the guests arrive ♪
♪ Then in all honesty ♪
♪ They drink a bit from the glass ♪
♪ But from this little one ♪
♪ But from this little one ♪
♪ But from this little one ♪
Are they coming yet?
They're not!
And are you looking?
I am!
You see I'm looking!
So look properly!
Yeah, yeah...
And in the meantime
in the Czech valley
the son of the bandit was
becoming an educated young man
But pay attention!
The world is small
and full of coincidences
You are red as a red man, sir
Are you an Indian?
Red man - on a tree!
Indian - on a tree!
What's that?
Wait, son, I will help you
Cut it, son!
I thank you sincerely, young man
You are welcome
My name is Lustig
Nice to meet you
And I travel with bijouterie
Home residence: Jablonec
But I'm traveling all the time
Shame
Thank you, boys
I thought you were an Indian
Unfortunately
Can't be of service
But you haven't seen a foreign
expedition here, have you?
With a camel?
Nah
We were ambushed!
But we gave that old bandit hell!
I made him run so far!
But my legs
are not as quick as they used to be
I didn't manage to escape
Why is she so sad?
Well, she is missing
something, young man
And so, whenever, brothers,
you see someone on a branch
behave the same way
as our clever Lotrando
Cut without hesitation
And now I kindly ask Mr. Lustig
to tell us something about bijouterie
Sure
Bijouterie from Jablonec
Or like we of the profession
call it shortly - bijou
has a great name in the world
We don't hide it's an imitation
We admit it!
with its affordable price
Wonderful work
Right?
For example here
However, the thieves didn't understand that
They said "It's a fake!"
"You wanted to cheat us!"
"You will hang!"
I said "Her Gott, Sacra, guys..."
I said...
"Crucifix, guys?"
"Crucisand, guys?"
Only "sand", Mr. Lustig
Only "sand"
I said "Sand!"
"Guys!"
"You have never heard
about our famous bijouterie?"
And their capo
That thug!
Some Lotrando!
What a coincidence!
My young savior has the
same name as the old scoundrel
Just the same name, Mr. Lustig
Just the same name
The father of this boy
is a gold mine owner
Well
The world is small
and full of coincidence
So that bastard
May I?
The bastard said
"Himmel Her Gott! Hang him by the legs"
"Himmel Laudon?"
And he said "Laudon,
hang him by the legs"
"On the tree!"
Her Gott, It's so
hard to lecture here
Are they coming yet?
They're not!
Don't lie to me!
I swear they are not coming!
And are you looking?
I am!
So look properly!
I'm looking properly!
Lotrando is leaving!
Where is he?
There he is!
It's about damn time!
I hope we can make it!
Farewell, my son
Dad is barely hanging there
Vincek!
You lazy dog!
Do you bring my god damn boy?
You bet I am!
But I don't know if
you understand him
He talks like a mix of a
Bible beater and a parrot
My dear father
I wish the allmighty God
will cherish you for long years
for the joy of your near ones
and the unspeakable offspring
Slow down, boy! Slow down
I'm riding to hell
and I have no time
for your sweet nonsense
Listen carefully
I wanted to leave bags of gold for you
so you could live
without any effort
But bloody hell, boy
there were such hard
times for our profession
Dear father, I was unaware
that you are in such a grave need
Well, yeah
Everyone left me
Like rats
It's a high time
for you to take over
my boy
Dear father
If you wish that
I will take over your profession
And I will do it honestly
willingly
and kindly to everyone
I don't know how you will
do with kindness in our job
And may I ask, my dear father?
What is your honest profession?
Robbery
You see?
Stick with that
Robbery?
Well yeah
Mainly, my boy
Never work
Yes
Yes, daddy
dear
In that moment, the bandit's sinful soul
started to head for the Heaven
But because it was too heavy
from all the terrible sins
It had to go elsewhere
And we know where
So Lotrando was
left in the world alone
Devastated by both
the death of his father
and also the
ill-considered promise
that he will take over his job
and becomes a bandit
PLUM LIQUOR
Vizovice
Top of the morning to you
I hope I'm not disturbing you
My God, not in the slightest
And what can I do for you?
My good man?
I ask you with all my
heart not to be scared, sir
So you understand,
I am a terrible bandit Lotrando
Bollocks!
Yes please
I don't take any joy in this
but I promised to my father
in his last hour
So I have to
I'll be damned, so the
old Lotrando is dead?
The guys in the pub in Vizovice
will be so pleased to hear that!
So
will you give me
everything willingly?
It would be better
for both of us
I won't
I see
Stab!
In that case, I have to stab you
I ask you to prepare and pray
Go on!
Here
Now?
Yes
Angel, my guardian,
take care of my soul...
Don't fool around, he's
delaying on purpose!
Stab him!
Live human?
To stab?
It would surely hurt him
Good gracious...
Dad is watching from above, young sir
or from below?
In any case, he sees everything!
Well, mister, are you
properly confessed?
No way, I am a terrible sinner
But I thought of something
If I could go to
Kostelec for confession
The Lord would hopefully forgive me
You know what, sir, I will
now go guickly to Kostelec
Confess
And when I return
you can go ahead and stab me
Good thought
Right?
I will wait here next to your carriage
I see your horse there
If you could lend
it to me please
So I can be back faster
You are right, it will be faster
Exactly
Go ahead
It's a nice horse
I guess it will be windy on him
If you could lend me the jacket?
Here you go
The nice hat also
They said all kinds of filth
are going through these woods
so if you could lend me the gun
and this one too!
You know, so I can keep my word
We have to get lost
We will bring this and go away
Wait a second, Vincek
The same way I promised my father
that I will take over his job
I promised the merchant
right now that I will wait for him
Here
Promise is a promise
Old Lotrando is dead and next to
the oak young one is robbing
Come on!
Let's go! Quickly!
Young sir, let's get wasted at least
We won't get,
we will be wasted
Not yet!
You will have to wait longer
Such a happy birthday today
Oh, I wish you all
the best, young sir
Health is most important
And how old are you exactly?
I'm not underage anymore
Well, in that case, two weights
were lifted from my heart
Your mom, I mean, Mrs. Madla
Before your father sold her to slavery
because he was really bankrupt
She said when saying goodbye:
When Lotrando comes of age
give him this
So he has a memory of me
So I'm giving to you
So she hasn't died, my dear mommy
he sold her to slavery, my dear daddy
How was she?
Tell me about her
Well, Mrs. Madla
She was a kind soul
She was so young and caring
Not so good for your father
All the time, she told him
to stop with the robbing
and starts with a decent work
Well, so now the second
weight from my heart
I promised the old man that I would
assist you before you come of age
So that job is finished for me, young sir
But...
Don't hold it against me,
but you are not very clumsy for this job
Spoiled by all schools
that it will be best If I
continue on my own
Go
and have no regrets, Vincek
Under the oak, behind the oak
We will be waiting for you
Under the oak, over the oak
Money or your life!
What's that?
Well... Money or your life
I'm a terrible bandit Lotrando
I see
Well, damn, I don't have money
So I can only give my life
Your life you say?
That's right
Or...
Bread with quark
Bread with quark or your life!
Thank you
if we grabbed it by the right end
there could also be the money
Forgive me that I speak with my mouth full
but which end do you mean?
This one!
♪ Better than handouts,
better than robbery ♪
♪ Is the two-man
saw with sharp teeth ♪
♪ Go for it with knack,
don't sweat it too much ♪
♪ So we can manage
it before the night ♪
♪ So we can manage
it before the night ♪
What just appeared
on my forehead?
I guess that will be sweat
Isn't it a symptom of a disease?
Not at all, sweat
is a healthy thing!
♪ Cut it, cut it, cut it ♪
♪ So it makes a good sound ♪
♪ Cut it, cut it, cut it ♪
♪ So it haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas ♪
♪ the zing! ♪
♪ Thirst, thirst, thirst ♪
♪ can torture us ♪
♪ The innkeeper is our friend ♪
♪ He will prepaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare ♪
♪ our drink ♪
What's happening on my hand?
Probably it's callus
And isn't it a
symptom of a disease?
No way! Callus is a healthy thing
Move aside!
♪ Better than handouts,
better than robbery ♪
♪ Is the two-man
saw with sharp teeth ♪
♪ Go for it with knack,
don't sweat it too much ♪
♪ So we can manage
it before the night ♪
♪ So we can manage
it before the night ♪
Isn't this work?
And what else would it be?
Sadly I can't do that
What nonsense are you saying?
Don't blame me, woodsman
but I promised my father I
will only earn from robbery
Goodness gracious!
To be honest with you,
I don't enjoy robbery at all
I don't even think I'm suited for it
It seems to me also like that
But my father's last
words were: "Don't work"
In that case, you
don't need to worry
because this was no work
That was only fooling around
Really?
♪ Without any fun,
without any fun ♪
♪ Foreign delegation
is coming to you ♪
♪ We are very pretty rich ♪
♪ Also smart as foxes ♪
♪ We are foreign ambassadors ♪
♪ We are bringing you gifts in a bag ♪
♪ After the journey,
everything is hurting ♪
♪ Offer us bread with salt ♪
Me - great Hálí
Who - you?
Me - Dry wood cutter
And my name is Drnec
Dr. Nec?
Write it
Write?
I will write it for him
Dr...
...nec you said?
That!
Him!
Mister
You
Now
Do
That
Going
With us
And why's that?
Why's that because our sultan Soliman
Our leader, our brightest sun!
Needs you
Like
Salt
And you will be rich
like you never dreamt
in the bed of that
Here
You
Deposit
I'm baffled
What do you think about it?
Work in a foreign land
is usually better paid
It's a hard currency
Hell... Mr. ambassadors...
I would have to ask my wife
Mine
Máňa
If you here
have to ask wife
We will ask wife
♪ Without any fun,
without any fun ♪
♪ Foreign delegation
is coming to you ♪
♪ We are very pretty rich ♪
♪ Also smart as foxes ♪
♪ We are foreign ambassadors ♪
♪ We are bringing you gifts in a bag ♪
♪ After the journey,
everything is hurting ♪
♪ Offer us bread with salt ♪
♪ Prepare some food, mom ♪
♪ Foreign diplomats
are coming to us ♪
♪ Introduce yourself,
introduce yourself ♪
♪ Introduce yourself,
introduce yourself ♪
♪ This is my good wife ♪
♪ These are our good children ♪
♪ She's working hard
from the morning ♪
♪ She has to do
a lot of things ♪
♪ These are her parents ♪
♪ They are still in good health ♪
♪ These are my parents ♪
♪ They are also in good health ♪
♪ That's my sister Anna ♪
♪ She's blushing like a flower ♪
♪ So far she's not married ♪
♪ Taking care of our cattle ♪
♪ Introduce yourself,
introduce yourself ♪
♪ Introduce yourself,
introduce yourself ♪
Who won't have enough, can get seconds
It's only millet mash
Such a poor meal
Mrs. Dr. Nec,
if you let Dr. Nec with us
poverty end
Our sultan Soliman
Our leader, our brightest sun!
He rich
This
Gift for you
My goodness
Such a beauty
You shouldn't have
We should have because
we need your Dr. Nec with us
Mash good, want seconds
So dad would also earn
money for a new roof?
He will be rich
Three roofs
you will have over you
Three roofs?
Bactrian camel
In Latin: Camelus ferrus bactrianus
In Slovak: Ťava
Takes over 50 litres of water
So he could go over desert
Why does he have the humps?
There is a storage of fat
Damn, boy, you don't seem like it
but you have
knowledge like a teacher
And dried camel dung
can be used as fuel
What is your name?
Hálí
And you?
Bélí
And you?
Zélí
Me, at home,
also such a kid, like you
And what's the name?
Small Zélí
And for you sister unmarried
Ring
Dr. Nec, your sister unmarried
comes too
And why's that?
Why's that because
our sultan Soliman
Our leader, our brightest sun!
Stop it!
Wait for home
You don't have to here
Because our sultan Soliman
said
Sister with you
She - your right hand
No way
Anička stays here
She - right hand of my wife
Máňa
Mr. Hálí
If you want to know
who could be my right hand
then it's educated Lotrando here
We
will give our heads together
Dr. Nec, you misbehave
But have it your way
Thank you, Mr. Drnec
I will get to know foreign lands
and compare it with knowledge
gained from reading books
Mainly we need
to have sharp taxes
Yeah, that's right
♪ On a journey, on a journey ♪
♪ On a journey for a work ♪
What's that? Work?
♪ Hat is protecting us from the sun ♪
Don't worry
♪ Hat is protecting us from the sun ♪
♪ Moss is our mattress ♪
♪ Foreign people in foreign lands ♪
♪ Foreign land and habits ♪
♪ They always give us some water ♪
♪ We will wash our face ♪
♪ The globe, how beautiful you are ♪
♪ Here is a path, here is a road ♪
♪ Here is field, here are woods ♪
♪ We are rising to the sky ♪
♪ On a journey, on a journey ♪
♪ On a journey to a work ♪
♪ Hat is protecting us from the sun ♪
♪ Moss is our mattress ♪
♪ Foreign people in foreign lands ♪
♪ Foreign land and habits ♪
♪ They always give us some water ♪
♪ We will wash our face ♪
Long way ahead of you?
Long way ahead of us
Long way ahead of us, still
How far is that?
Very very far
There where are tropical rains
♪ On a journey, on a journey ♪
♪ On a journey for a work ♪
For work?
Don't worry, let's go
♪ Hat is protecting us from the sun ♪
♪ Moss is our mattress ♪
♪ On a journey, on a journey ♪
♪ On a journey, on a journey ♪
♪ On a journey... ♪
Are they coming yet?
They're not!
Don't lie
They are coming
Honestly, they are coming
They are coming!
They are coming!
You see
When you look
properly, they are coming
Fish, fish, fish!
Rounded melons, bent bananas!
Fresh vegetables!
Don't buy fish, they stink!
Buy fresh vegetables!
Our dearest master
Master Sultan Soliman
Our leader...
Our leader, our brightest sun!
About time!
We are bringing you famous doctor
from the island of Europe
It is Dr. Nec
and he spells exactly
according to the table
So we know
that we found the true
and also genuine doctor!
Because he is not only Dr. Nec
but also Dr. Ywoodcutter
Look at that!
And here is his right hand
Assistento Lotrando
And Hálí?
Where is Lustig?
Lustig was captured in
a fight with czech bandits
We found the doctors on our own
and here they are!
Let's go
So look at her, Mr. doctor
You shall look at her
Me?
Well, the girl is like cabbage
I don't like her
I like her, Mr. Drnec
Me too, of course
But she is somehow... that...
unwell
What are they saying?
specialized medical gibberish
Skinny as a rail
No color in her face
Something's missing
But not that she's not beautiful
Beautiful she is
I think that the girl is sick
Still gibberish?
Doctor thinks that she's ill
We also know that
Tell him
Before who didn't
cure her, got spanked
From now on, who doesn't cure her,
Cut! Heads down!
And we will save on the return journey
Did he say anything interesting?
Not so much
Outside
me everything translate
Where are you from, young man?
Zadní Lhota
North of Makotřasy
You speak our language, Mrs.?
Good luck to you
You know I'm only simple nanny
and sultan doesn't listen to me
but I think the princess is
missing three ordinary things
Let's go
No time for talking
I hope you will get safely back home
And if your healing
by chance not work
you - heads down!
We do that here on this place
And who is this man?
That's our executioner
Hello, Hasan!
Hiya!
Hiya!
Hálí, Hálí
My God, the two of
us should cure her?
Yeah... That's why you are here
Hálí, my friend,
what are you saying?
For healing there are doctors
Doctors
He's a doctor
He has Dr. before his name
Good heavens, what
kind of doctor am I?
Hálí
I'm an ordinary dry wood cutter!
Dr. Ywoodcutter
Or Dr. Nec
We don't care
But not Dr. Ywoodcutter
but dry wood cutter
He's a lumberjack!
What's that?
Well, why do you think we
have these things with us?
You - not a doctor?
Not a doctor
Why's that?
In that case, you
need to go with me
Where?
There
This way
There
This will be your home
Here you will be rather
Why's that?
Why's that because
if you told someone
that you are not doctors
first head of Hálí would fall
Then Bélí
and Zélí
All our heads would fall
I've never been in such a pickle
Mr. Drnec
Isn't this prison by any chance?
Yeah, this is a brig
Lamad?
What is it, young lady?
And father was serious that
the two will lose their life
if they won't heal me?
Probably he did, princess
I'm sorry for them
Well me too, girl
But I doubt they will heal you
They didn't look like doctors
But
the young one looks like a prince
Yeah?
But some very poor prince
You told me that in your country
every man likes only one woman
Only one
And they are from your country?
Yes, they are from ours
From Makotřasy
And could we somehow
save their lives?
If they don't cure you,
they can't be helped
Doctors are not here?
They aren't
And where are they?
Why they don't heal?
Fellow countrymen!
Fellow countrymen
I brought you someone
What are you doing
here, Mr. Lustig?
Well, the world is small
and full of coincidence
Mr. Lustig
This is Mr. Drnec
Nice to meet you
But you got yourselves
into a serious situation
I have some influence on the sultan
but concerning
Zubejda, he has no mercy
Where are your doctors, Hálí?
Why they don't heal?
Doctors
They are, sultan Soliman
our leader...
Make it short
They are down and
mix all kinds of creams
and healing potions
Also. And they
don't like our sun
Our gold one
So they need to be in the cold
And when is the execution?
Tomorrow already
Already?
Time just went by
Princess is missing
three ordinary things
the nanny said
Three things
I thought
that we will show
them how can we work
They have it overgrown
For shame!
In such a house
there is lot of moisture
Fungus, mould and earwigs!
And where the sun doesn't
shine, a doctor has to go
Wait a second...
I just thought of something
What if we...?
You're thinking totally?
What did he say?
What if you...?
But this time we do it
properly, no fooling around
Hálí is a cigar person
We now give yo your final wish
Short walk and then
quickly to the execution
And Drnec, why do you
bring all these things?
Why? So noone steals them
Drnec, I didn't
sleep the whole night
You will lose your heads!
But if not you, then us!
I prefer all the
heads on the necks
Well, me too!
Hey, Mr. Hálí
Great Mr. Hálí
A word, if you please?
I have something for you
from Kutná Hora
Class
Can I smell a bit?
♪ Better than handouts,
better than robbery ♪
♪ Is the two-man
saw with sharp teeth ♪
♪ Go for it with knack,
don't sweat it too much ♪
♪ So we can manage
it before the night ♪
♪ So we can manage
it before the night ♪
What are they doing there?
They are singing national songs
That's what our prisoners
do before execution
♪ Cut it, cut it, cut it ♪
♪ So it makes a good sound ♪
♪ Cut it, cut it, cut it ♪
♪ So it haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas ♪
♪ the zing! ♪
And why are they
making such a noise?
I guess they are dancing dupák
Dupák is a war dance?
Something like that
♪ Thirst, thirst, thirst ♪
♪ can torture us ♪
♪ The innkeeper is our friend ♪
♪ He will prepaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare ♪
♪ our drink ♪
♪ Better than handouts,
better than robbery ♪
♪ Is the two-man
saw with sharp teeth ♪
♪ Go for it with knack,
don't sweat it too much ♪
♪ So we can manage
it before the night ♪
♪ So we can manage
it before the night ♪
You're maybe thinking now
That's no fooling around
Now Lotrando is truly working
Well, I guess he realised
that there are moments in life
when you can't do without work
And that (just between us)
Not all advice from parents
are always wise
Nanny!
Lamad!
Come and see here
Come
They made here quite a clearing
What smells so nice?
What? Wood and resin
No, no, something else
If it's not my bread with quark
The quark
the older it is, the
nicer smell it has
Give me a bite
Princess begging for food?
That's a new thing!
So come here for it
You will bite it and spit it out
No chance!
More
Well Drnec, you will pay for this!
What dupák did you dance here?
All the trees completely crushed!
What if our sultan
Soliman sees this?
Our leader, our brightest sun!
Doctors
My darlings
She's eating!
She's not eating...
Why's that?
She's stuffing herself!
What kind of recipe
did you find, guys?
Simple thing
Where the sun doesn't
shine, a doctor has to go
I knew it but
young one here thought of it first
Three ordinary
things the girl needed
Light, air and...
Shout "Hooray!" and
celebrate for three days!
Shout "Hooray!" and
celebrate for three days!
Shout "Hooray!" and
celebrate for five days!
Celebrate for three days!
Celebrate for three days!
Hooray!
Do you like her?
She' so...
how should I put it...
so...
Appetitlich?
Yes
Dance with her!
Do you think I can?
Why not?
Mr. Musicians!
Polka!
I'm more for belly dancing
Belly?
Zubejda, look!
Hálí
Ask
why the doctor isn't happy
if he's rich and alive?
Dr. Nec,
Why you
Not happy
When you
No head falling down
Well, it is difficult
Just yesterday he
want it to execute us!
With people like this it's
hard to build friendship
What did he say?
specialized medical gibberish
Polka
isn't difficult at all
Look!
I would teach you in few lessons
That's a nice custom you have
What custom?
I mean - one man and one woman
Well, woman...
That's normal at home
For example Mr. Drnec
He has Mrs. Drnec
And that's it
And Mr. Lustig
before he became a widower
he had Mrs. Lustig
And that's it
And you?
Me?
I don't have anyone
And that's it?
And that's it
You know what's strange?
You don't know our
language, I don't know yours
And we still
understand each other
Why's that?
I don't know
Look
There
That's a constellation of Orion
Over there
Cassiopeia
You know the names of stars
You can handle the axe
I heard you are getting married
I will be the seventh wife
Seventh wife?
And whose?
Some sultan...
You will take the
doctors over the desert
Put them on the ship
And come right back
Yeah
But where the hell is the boy?
Mr. Drnec!
Mr. Drnec!
Bad news, Lotrando is sick
For crying out loud!
I hope it's not malaria
It could also be just sunstroke
Jesus Maria
Where does it hurt?
It starts here
and ends here?
Also here
I thought so
He's up to his ears in love
My God,
who could he be
in love with here?
Who do you think?
Probably who?
Don't worry about it, boy,
Zubejda also caught it
The whole night
she was delirious
And up to now I had
to teach her polka
And can you teach
me belly dancing?
I swear as my name is Lamad
Now think about
goofing around, Lotrando
Why didn't you tell me
his name is Lotrando?
Sonny!
My clover brought
you to me after all
Vincek gave it to you?
Mommy...
Well, the world is small
and full of coincidence
But
Why is your name Lamad, mommy?
Repeat the name
Lamad?
Lamad-lamad-lamad...
Lamad-lamad-lamad...
Madla!
Mr. Drnec, I'm not an orphan!
Only half-orphan!
Lotrando!
I know polka now!
And my dad is not against it!
Against what?
Against polka?
Nooo
That we like each other
At first, he was furious
That we are each from a
different country, religion
Different language
And that it's not reasonable
But...
I conviced him by crying
Three ordinary things
were needed to cure her
Light, air
and love
And now she has them all
♪ Something beautiful
happened to us ♪
♪ Something strange
happened to us ♪
♪ A girl found an unhappy boy ♪
♪ And fell in love with him ♪
♪ Something beautiful
happened to them ♪
♪ Something strange
happened to them ♪
♪ A girl found an unhappy boy ♪
♪ And fell in love with him ♪
♪ I'm the unhappy one ♪
♪ I'm the girl ♪
♪ And from that suddenly, ♪
♪ unreal love was created ♪
♪ I'm the unhappy one ♪
♪ I'm the girl ♪
♪ And from that suddenly, ♪
♪ unreal love was created ♪
♪ I didn't have
any joy in my life ♪
♪ now I think it is wonderful ♪
♪ it also seems very nice to me ♪
♪ I gained one kilo in two days ♪
♪ they asked her why she chose ♪
♪ this specific man for her man ♪
♪ she said it was caused by force ♪
♪ that beats all other forces ♪
♪ Something beautiful
happened to them ♪
♪ Something strange
happened to them ♪
♪ A girl found an unhappy boy ♪
♪ And fell in love with him ♪
♪ I'm the unhappy one ♪
♪ I'm the girl ♪
♪ And from that suddenly, ♪
♪ unreal love was created ♪
♪ I'm the unhappy one ♪
♪ I'm the girl ♪
♪ And from that suddenly, ♪
♪ unreal love was created ♪
♪ I'm the unhappy one ♪
♪ I'm the girl ♪
♪ And from that suddenly, ♪
♪ unreal love was created ♪
You might want to
know if they had kids
They had
And imagine this, not
even one became a bandit
Translation: Petr Jarušek 02/2020