Route 666 (2001) - full transcript

Smith, a mob informer hiding out with the Witness Protection Program, decides to make a break for it and hide out in the Arizona desert. The Feds catch up with him and rescue him just before a group of hitmen can manage to silence him for good. In the course of getting Smith away from the mafia thugs, the pair of agents assigned to protect him turn onto an abandoned stretch of highway nicknamed 'Route 666' after the mysterious death of a prison chain gang. As the three continue on their way, they soon discover just what happened to the chain gang, and how the highway earned its name.

I want to go back to the car.

No, you have to wait
for 20 more minutes.

No, no. I have...
I have, um,

amazing re-reju...

rejuvenative powers.

What are you drinking?

I would like to have
a screaming orgasm.

What are you drinking?



we would like, uh...
2 martinis.

We don't have any martinis.

I guess we'll have

a couple of tequilas, then.

Oh, hey, why don't you
pour yourself one, ok?

Oh, hell, cowboy,

why don't you just set
up the whole damn bar.

Is this the ones that you lick?


Make my orgasm just
a little bit quieter, ok?

Excuse me.

Be right back, baby.

Oh, sorry, man.

Yeah, that's a door, my man.

You have to slow down
for those things.

Oh, I gotta sober up.

What the fuck?! shit!

You're fucking with...

Get off of me, man!

What the fuck is this?!

Come on, man, who the fuck...

Shut up.

Ok, I'm gonna give you the
benefit of the doubt, all right?

Apparently, you don't know

who you're fucking with,
asshole, all right?

Get these goddamned cuffs
off of me, man.

I have 2 black belts,
asshole, and I'm gonna...

Ok, and you got
some nice jewelry, too.

All right.
All right, listen up.

I'm really not into this
s and m shit, ok?

Who the fuck are you people?

Who do we look like?

You guys cops?

You're really bad at this game.

Introduce yourself.

This is a badge.
Federal agents,

united states witness
protection agency,

and we are not holding you.

Yeah, that would be illegal.

This is your signature, right?

It says here that you agreed

to testify in a court of law

in a case against benny
"the buzzsaw" buffalino.

In return, the united states

attorney general's office

gave you full immunity.


And free rent.

That sounds like a good deal.

So why did you run, punk?

I changed my mind.

He changed his mind.

You changed your mind?

I changed my mind.

That's not good enough.

Listen to me very carefully.

We do not have a deal, ok?

Now way, nada, uh-uh, no, ok?

Listen, you guys don't
know benny, all right?

You don't understand.

Don't understand?
Sure we do.

We get paid to understand.

This agency is in place
to protect scum like you.

Think holiday inn
without the bill.

Ooh! Or the continental
breakfast. That's good.

Or those guys trying to kill me.

That's not good.

Who? Benny's guys?

They're good,
but... we're better.

I don't think so!

Listen, people,
just let me go, all right?

I know my rights.

Standby to transport.
We're coming out.

No, no, no.
We're not coming out.

We're not going
no-fucking-where, man.

Undo these cuffs!

Hold up.
We have a car approaching.



All right, I'm gonna
ask you this just once,

'cause it's my job,

'cause I don't give
a rat's ass about you,

so here it comes, just once,

are you coming with us
into protective custody,

or do you want us
to leave you here?

If it's all the same to you,

you can leave me
the fuck here, ok?

All right?
I know my rights, jack.

The only right you should
worry about is right there.

See? You're
not that hard to find.

Now, you can go with them
or come with us.

It's your choice.

Man, who would "them" be?

My guess would be
a bunch of bullets

with your name on 'em.

Ok, I'm in.

We're out.


Oh, this does not feel
like protective custody.


I do not feel safe!

Shut up!

get your ass over here!

Wow, you know, you
really are sexy when you...

Get him outta here.

All right, keep it low.
I'll cover. Ready?






Do we really need jack?




What the hell's wrong with you?!

Nothing. Nothing!

Excuse me. Excuse me...

Get back! Get back!

I'll appeal to you.

Can we get the fuck
out of here?!

Is that your car?

Yeah, it's a beauty,
too, ain't she?

I'll tell you what.

I'll trade you the cuff
keys for the car...


The suburban!

Oh, no, no, no.

I'm not going anyplace
with those clowns. Ok?

They cannot protect shit.

This is jack.
We're on your 2.

We need a taxi
to the red catalina.

Get between us
and the bad guys. Move it!

You go high. I go low.


Go! Move!

Follow us
for cover.

Protect the witness.

Move it! Move it!

Take the wheel!

Steph, this is jack.

Close it up.
Stay on my tail.

Run interference in case
we get followed. Out.

Who does this guy think he is?

We're on your tail, buddy.

Fucking guy
almost got us killed,

he took so long
to get out of that place!

You are tripping, p.t.

I'm not tripping,
I just think he...

He is good is what he is.

He got us in and out of there
as fast as humanly possible...

with your missing witness.

I mean, Jesus, stephanie,

we all wanna know
why this outsider

suddenly dropped in our laps

and running the show.

I mean, just because
the powers that be,

whoever they are...

They are the national
security agency,

and heis not an outsider.

His name is jack la roca,
and he is your new boss

in this very delicate situation,

and need I remind you

the reason
we're in this fucking mess

is because the 4 of you
lost a key witness...

This witness... right
from out under your noses.

Excuse me, uh, jack?

Would now be the proper time

to ask you
to remove these handcuffs?

Now would be the proper time

for you to shut up.

No, see, jack,
you don't understand, man.

See, I really don't like

It's a little quirk I got,
you know?

Come on, jack. The cuffs.

The cuffs stay on
and your mouth stays shut

all the way to los angeles.

Oh, let me
tell you something, pal.

See, I know my rights,
and your job...

My jobis to get you to court

by 10:00 a.m.
tomorrow morning alive.

That's my job.


I think we have
a right to know, ok?

Know what?!

I think we need some background,
some information,

the skinny, who he is.

You looking for a date?

He's just a highly
decorated ex-navy seal,

a former cia op.

So tell me, what is supercop
doing on loan

to the witness
protection agency?

No, baby.
We're on loan to him.

Do you want me
to make those tighter?

Is that supposed to be funny?

So now you're a sadist
and a comedian, huh?

What a pleasant combination.

Women must love you.

Look, jack, come on, man.
Take these cuffs off.

These things are gonna
kill me, man. I mean, literally.

They're gonna cut off
my circulation and kill me.

I'm gonna cut out your
tongue if you don't shut up.

Oh, you got some kind of nerve

trying to boss me around
while driving my car,

and not driving
very well, I might add.

This is yours?
Yes, it is.

Do I look like a liar?

Oh, untrusting soul.

Ha ha. You know,
a stolen car rap

is the last thing
I'm worried about, jack.

Do you know who I am?

I know exactly who you are.

You do?

Justice department
has a file on me?

More like
a file cabinet, really.

No kidding? What does it say?

Oh, a man
who likes his own press.

Says you are stanford
educated in economics,

but passed on a chance
to work on wall street

for a chance to work
in little italy,

and your real name
is frederick smith.

It was frederick smith,
ok? My name is rabbit now.

I like rabbit. Call me rabbit.
What else does it say?

Sure, fred.

It says you spent
the past couple of years

working for the mob
keeping their books

with some creative math.

Which I actually
find interesting,

'cause I don't know
many brothers

who are accountants,

and I don't know any brothers

who are accountants for the mob.

You're a 21st century man.

My father is sicilian.


Problem is you weren't
just working

for the buffalino family.

You were working for
the russian mob as well.

Oh, no, no, no.
See, that's bullshit.

That's bullshit.

That's exactly why I left.

The second that I found out
that benny and his boys

was joining forces
with that commie mob,

I got the hell out.

Ooh, better dead than red, huh?

Hey, hey, hey. Let me
tell you something, jack.

While some may
perceive me as a criminal,

I am not a commie, ok?

I am an entrepreneur,
not a traitor.

Is that so?

Yes, that is so.

Little history lesson
for you there, frederick.

The curtain came down.
They're not commies anymore.

Ha! Once a commie...

Always a commie?
That's right.

God bless america.


Yo, jack.

Can you tell us where we are?

Yeah, I'm here.

I'm just trying
to figure out exactly

where the hell "here" is.

Oh, great recon specialist.

He doesn't even know
where we are.

All right. Don't worry.
I'll find a map.

You know, no map's
gonna help you here, jack.

Not a new map, anyway.


But I suppose you know
where we are.

Oh, I know exactly where we are.

It's my current line of work.

It's all part of staying alive.

I have been traveling
these back roads for weeks now.

Yeah, evading us.

Yeah, and benny and his boys.

You know,
all these back roads, jack,

they're not on any new maps.

They are all...

they're all right here.

Let me see that.

Fine. Read it.
Find out where we are.

Okey-doke. Uncuff me.

Leather or vinyl,
shall we find out?

This is leather, jack.

It is fine
corinthian leather, ok?

So put your little toy away.

Oh, come... no, no, no.

Don't do that.

I can read with
the handcuffs on, all right?

Just... just put that away.

"If tourists were
the life blood of the road,

"nowhere was this truer
than on one particular stretch

near the california-arizona

That's where we want to be at.

Yeah, that's right.

"It was the most dangerous
stretch of route 66.

The one locals called... "

♪ Dun-dun dunh!

"Route 666."

Evil fucking numbers, huh?

"Officially condemned in 1969

in the wake of a tragic
chain gang accident."

What did you say?

That's weird.
A chain gang accident.

What did you say?

That's weird.
A chain gang accident.

"Travel on route 666
is not permitted,

however, nearby rattlesnake
ranch is a must-see."

Hey, bunny rabbit,
I'll be damned.

Did I not say
I knew where we were?


The map in the guidebook
is right on the money.

There it is.

That is the entrance
to the old road...

to route 666.

What the hell
is he talking about?

That's how he's been
playing hard to get...

Using these abandoned roads.

Well, it's not on the map.

Yeah, well, it's not on yourmap.

People, listen up and learn, ok?

Frick, frack, frack, and frack,

all right, we are standing
right here on route 66.

That is where route 66
turns into 666.

Yeah, he's right.
It starts right there

and it goes all the way
to the border.

All right, it looks
like a shortcut.

All right. All right.

We take the old road.
Any problems?

Yeah, problem. Problem.

The road is condemned.

It is condemned for a reason.

I do not like it.

Nobody asked you.

P.t. is right.
We're taking the shortcut.

We just might get our
witness to court on time.

Excuse me.
Your witness has a name.

Not today you don't.

What do you say, jack?

Does look like it goes through.

We can avoid another situation.

Oh, that's not a good idea.

Copyright on this book's 1976.

So we don't know
the condition of the road.

I don't know.

He doesn't know.


I think we should
turn around and take the...

Come on!

I... I... I think we should, uh...

You think we should what?

I think we should get moving.

We're running out of time.
Get ready to roll.

Good. Excellent.

What's he doing now.

He's making a decision.

A de... jack! Jack! Hey!

Whoa, jack.
Whoa, whoa, jack.

Not this road, ok?

Jack, think about it.

They closed this road

because there were
too many accidents.

If the road is closed,

there won't be
a whole lot of traffic.

That's not the point,
jack. Listen to me.

I'm an accountant.
I know numbers, ok?

666 is definitely
not a good number.

All right, I'm for taking

all these old back roads, jack,

just not this one.

This one is...


That was government property.

I am the government.

Now, shut up
and get back in the car.

Ok. All right,
fine, big shot.

See, but that's exactly
why I don't pay taxes.

You ok, boss?


All right.


It's ok.

It's just weird.
You know, it...

I've had a weird feeling
ever since we got out here.

My father's buried
out here somewhere, I think.


Didn't y'all used
to live around here?

Yeah, I was born around here.

My mom passed away
before I was 6.

Never saw my father again.

Never even really knew him
in the first place.

That's what you were
thinking about

up by the bar?

I don't know what happened
back at the bar.

You know what?

I have always wanted to
ride in a '68 catalina.


You know, I have always
wanted to ride

in a '69 catalina.

You know,
I sensed that about you.

This road is bad news, people.

We heard you twice
the first time.

Nobody's been on this road
for 30 years, remember?

No, no, what I remember
is benny buffalino

who has hitmen who think
like kamikazes, ok?

And don't even ask me
about those russian psychos.

We dusted 'em.

What you worried about?

You got more security
than the president.

You got us,

and 4 other u.s. marshals.

Those clowns in the suburban?

They could not
keep me safe before,

why should that change now, huh?

Oh, that's why you ran?

Oh, hell, yeah.

I mean, I drove around
in that suburban

with them for days.

You should hear some of the shit

they always end up
arguing about.

I am sorry,
but farrah fawcett cannot be

your favorite supermodel
of all time.

Why not?

she's not a supermodel.

What the hell
you talking about?

Farrah fawcett
was an actress

who turned to modeling.

So, ok.
She did both.

No way.
Not the same.

What are you talking about?

When did you see farrah
walk down the runway?

Uh, oh, I'm sure she's walked
down a few runways.

Name it. When? Name it.
One... anything. Name it.

Fuck runways.

I mean, come on,
don't you remember?

She had that poster everywhere.

You're telling me
she's not a supermodel.

Nick, did she
have a poster?

Help me out here.

Gil, do you copy?

Pick up.

What's up, gil?

Yeah, looks like they
went down the old road.

I'm going after 'em.
Send me some backup.

Hang on.

Uh, what was that about gil?

He thinks
the suspects

went down the old road.

What do you want me to tell him?

Uh, tell him
get off that old road,

finish his shift,

get on home.

You got it!

Hey, gil.

Talk to me.

Pa says forget about it
and go back to work.

Forget... they're down that road.

I can take them.

Sheriff says keep off
of that road.


Fuck it!

Oh, you like that, don't you?

Oh, you're a natural born
chicken killer.

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Look at this? Look at this.

Here. Ha ha ha.

Oh, diddy fuck, we got
barney fife on our tail.

I'll take care of this.

Now what?

What the hell are you
stopping here for, jack?

You got somewhere to be?

P.t., you do not make
unilateral decisions.

I'll take care of this.

No, I'll take care of
this, p.t. stand down.

How about if I tag along

and watch you take care of this?

Maybe I'll learn something.

Freeze! Hands up!

Hands where I can see 'em!

No, no, no.
Hands up!

Easy there.
Federal marshals.

Who are you?

Federal marshals.

Heard of us?

Badge, gun, thank you.

I don't care if you're
fucking santa claus.

Hopefully only
mrs. Santa claus

is doing that.

This road is closed.

This road is off-limits
to everyone.


because I said so.

Because this is my jurisdiction.

This was your jurisdiction
until I showed up.

The "u.s." on my badge...

That stands
for "united states."

Deputy conaway, what's
your sheriff's name?

None of your business.

You're trespassing.

No, I'm transporting
a federal witness,

and you're pissin' me off.


Now, I got 5 other agents
each with handcuffs.

One for each of your limbs,
and one for your tongue.

So, deputy, what's
your sheriff's phone number?

911, asshole.


Nice work.
Deftly handled.

Navy seal training, right?

Thank you.

What the hell did he want?

He's got nothing better to do.

And you need to just sit still.

Freakin' asshole.

You better get used
to those, fred.

We got a little ways to go.

The name is rabbit.

Call me rabbit, all right?

What if I called you two
mulder and scully?

Would you like that?
Huh? Huh?

Fred, it says in your file...

That was then.
Now it's rabbit.

Rabbit. Dare I ask?

Could be dangerous.

All right, I'll bite.

Rabbit... how come
they call you rabbit?

Because of my luck
with the ladies.


Oh, god, spare me.

No, no, I may not be
on the good side of the law,

but I do happen to be on
the good side of looking.

Oh, I bet the ladies
love that one, huh?

Bingo! Tell me about it.

Speaking of which, uh, steph?

You know, after this
is all over, baby,

how about you and me,
we go for a little bite?

Fred, the only place
you and I are going

is to a courtroom in california.

Now, I've never
actually eaten there,

but, uh, you
got yourself a date.

Whoa, what's that?

Look at that.

Jack, what is it?

I... I don't know.

It looks like a, uh...

what? What? What's he doing?
What you doing?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I know you're not
gonna actually stop here

on this road at a graveyard.

Well, this is charming.

Yeah, all we need
are the picnic baskets.

This won't take long.

Shall I get the wine and cheese
from the trunk, sir?

Shut up.

Any problems?

No, there's no problem.
Y'all just wait.

What's wrong?


Jack went
to check something out.

Here at a cemetery?

Something's wrong with this guy.

Wait, he's stopping
to sightsee?!

Or who knows the fuck what?!

We don't have time for this.

Do I have time for a smoke?


Yes. Y'all wait here.

I'm gonna check this out.

Oh, may I accompany you,
my love?

You may stay
your ass right here.

Oh, no! See, there you go
with that's and m shit again.

Whoa, whoa, don't leave me here

with helen keller
and the 3 blind mice.

I am not safe with them!

Wow, your father.

Hey! Hey!

What the hell
you 2 doing out here?

Trying to raise the dead?

It's 112 degrees in the shade.

Holy shit.


So this is where he ended up.

This is miles hackman.

You know about him?

Are you kidding? I could
tell you his shoe size.

I studied criminal law.

What... what are you
talking about?

Gentlemen, I think we need
to get back to our prisoner.

This guy...

This guy was a serious
career criminal.

What... what other scumbags
do we have here?

Pikowski, murderer...

slater, murderer.

Ia roca, bank robber.

This is a tough bunch
to take a dirt nap with.

You know what we have
here, folks?

The killers-r-us of the sixties.

You know, it's hot out here.

Let's, um,
let's wait in the car.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Hey, joe,

you watch him?

Yeah. Go ahead.

He ain't going anywhere.

Yeah, well, I better go
somewhere, and pronto!

My bladder's about to burst.

Why don't you go here?

Are you crazy?!

I'm not pissing
on some dead guy.

That is very bad luck, my man.

My mother always told me
never piss against the wind,

and never, ever, ever, ever
piss on a dead guy.

The worst...

The worst, though, was hackman.

He would hack his victims up

into little pieces...

we're going.

No, before they were dead,

he would... he would
cut out their tongue

to keep them quiet,
then cut out their eyes.

You know the weirdest thing
about these 4 freaks dying?

All 4 of them...
I mean, look at this,

you got hackman, '67;
La roca, '67;

Pikowski, '67, slater, '67.

They all kicked it
on the same day...

August 28, 1967,

in some... some prison
road crew accident.

But they had it coming to 'em,

because they were
the worst of the worst.

They were the real deal.
They were the psycho killers.

Well, all of them
except for one.

I mean, there was... la roca,

they said, was kind of
a family man.

I mean, the story goes
that he met,

married, knocked up, uh,
a chick in a small town,

over the weekend.
I mean, the man was fast.

And they decided to take
the straight and narrow

for once, to try it,
to give it a shot.

It lasted about 6 years,

and then, you know,
the money went away.

He got desperate. He went
back to what he knew best.

The father of
the perfect bank job.

But they nabbed his ass
this time,

and he spent the rest
of his life in prison.

He never saw his wife,
or his kid, again.

Now tell me something, jack.

Why are you so
interested in this?

Holy shit.

Jack, jack la roca.

He's your father.


I knew there was a reason
I didn't like you.

I just didn't know
the reason until now.

Don't you start something
you can't finish.

I'm not just gonna start it,

I'm gonna finish it.

Ohh... ow.

Is that all you got, tough guy?

Oh, you won't get up
a second time.

I kinda doubt that.

You have guns.

Why don't you all
just shoot each other?


♪ A letter came
for me today ♪

ok, joe, listen up.

You really don't have to be

such a consistent
asshole, all right?

I have to go.

A grown man with a wet spot

is not a pretty sight.

Stay down, stay down.

Up, get up, get up.

That was close.
That was very close.

I'm the damn witness.

Shouldn't I be wearing that?

Huh? Shouldn't
I be wearin...

Shut up!

Ohh, fuck!


Shit, dead man crawling.

Shit... stay down!


Freeze! Federal agent!

What the fuck...

what the fuck are those?

They're not freezing, joe!

Shoot 'em
in the head, joe!

Shoot the son of a bitches!





Mary! Nick!



Oh, shit! Jack!

♪ Should've listened
to my... ♪


Aaah! Hey!

Get your asses
out of the suburban!

Hey, assholes!
Over here!

Steph, p.t.,
come in.

Come on! Come on!

Commie piece of crap! Jack!

How'd that asshole get a gun?


What the hell are those things?

What the hell?

Cover me!

P.t., on your 9!

Get him out of here!

Who's got the keys?

I'm gonna chew my
fucking hand off here!

Jesus christ!

What the fuck
are these things?

They're coming!

Hotwire the thing!

They're coming!

All right, fine!


Where's joe?

Joe is dead!

They buried him in
the fucking road!

They pounded him in!

Jack, watch out!
It's your father!


Thank you! Jesus.

Steph! Get out of here!

What the hell are they doing?

P.t., let's move!

I got it, I got it!
Let's go! Let's go!

All right, let's rock,
let's rock!

Great fucking idea
taking this road.

A shortcut, huh, p.t.?

Straight to god damn hell!

Shut up!

The two of you shut up!

Now listen to me.
Head count.

I got rabbit.

Mary, you ok?

I'm here, I'm fine.

P.t., you ok?

Yeah, I got a few cuts.

What about jack?
Did they get him?

Guess again.

The unknown soldier,

mr. Fucking superhero
crapped out!

He hit the desert!

What are we gonna do?

We're gonna make a plan,

that's what we're gonna do.

Plan? Here's a plan.

They're on foot,
we've got wheels,

we keep driving.

And nick is on the cell
phone to headquarters.

We got no signal out here.

Hey, you just stay on my ass

and maybe in a couple of miles

we'll get a signal.

All right.

They're not on foot.

You don't know what
the fuck they're on.

Look, steph, I'm telling you
what I saw, all right?

They went into...

they went into
the road, all right?

They went under the road.

Just give me a break.

They cannot get off the road!

I'm telling you,

I think they get
their energy from the road.

They get their energy
from the road? Fine.

Where the hell does the road

get the energy from?

You smell something?

You smell it?

Yeah, I smell rubber.


Steph, I think your
tires are burning.

Ours are, too.

We better pull off.
Pull off pronto.

Well, what about the shoulder?

Can we drive on that?

No, no way. No.

It's a cactus farm.

All right, look,
we got 2 choices.

We lose the tires to the road

or we lose 'em to the cactus.

Your call.

No, no, no, no.
We don't have to get off.

We don't have to get off.
Just a place to stop, all right?

We need a place to stop,
a-and wait for help.

Like there!
Right over there!

This is great!


No, this is just fucking great!

Ah, Jesus christ!

I paid real money for those.

You know, those
were not on this car

when I stole this car, you know.

I... I paid for those
right out of my own pocket.

Not that it matters now,
but check it out.

The road's not hot anymore.

Yeah, but
it's hot out here.

I mean, it's goddamn africa hot,

like a microwave oven, yeah.

I feel like a fucking
baked potato here.

Hey, nicky, you hear something?

Yeah, maybe we should
make him shut up.

Maybe we should get
him out of the sun.

Hey, hey.

Come on, let's go
find some shade. Come on.

You gonna leave the cars here?

Yeah, we'll leave the cars.

Somebody might come by
and see us.

Not with
those things coming.

You think they're coming?

No, you're coming.
Let's go.

You'll have
some tea?


No, thanks.

How did I get here?


look out! It's your father!

I crashed.
Did you bring me here?

Yes, I did.

Well, I appreciate it, but, uh,

look, I'm having
the worst day of my life

and I really need
to get back to it.

That 4x4, is it still drivable
or did I trash it?

No, thanks.

It's good.

Yeah, what's in that?


Good answer,
but I'll still pass.

I will take some
caffeine, though.

Very well.

To all creation, and to you.




Ohh, good tea.

yeah, good tea.

How'd you come to find our land?


from the, uh, from the old road.

From the east.

Ah, the old road.

Now that's a special road.

It's like a timeline right
through our nation's history.

Main vein right through
the center of the country,

carrying with it all
the bloodlines of our past.

Yeah, there's nothing like it.

Doesn't matter if it's dirt
or gravel or asphalt,

they all got their
special story to tell.

Some good, some bad.

Some dark.

But there's none as dark

as this road
we've got right here.

My people used to live
along that road.

Some still do.

But they've been walking among
those spirits there for years,



Waiting for what?

Waiting for you.

You must walk among
those spirits,

and bring peace
back to this land,

and your soul.

More tea?

What kind of tea is that anyway?

Peyote tea.

Is there any other kind?

Heh heh heh heh.


thank you, uh...

for your kindness.

Thanks for everything.

Ehh... aaaaaaah!

They'll find us.
They'll beat us to the car.

They? They.

Who the hell are they?


Well, maybe that deputy.

That's right!
They know where we are,

so why don't you
just chill, man?

You telling me to chill?

I need a cigarette.

I left mine in the car.


Shit! For christ's sake,
that wasn't funny, ok?


Hope you choke on
your fucking cigarette!

Instant emphysema
on your monkey ass!

You know, there better not be

a hair missing on
my mustache, either!

Yo... yo, nick, nick.

Can you bring me back
a smoke, man?




Aaaaaah! Fuck!


Nick, come in.

Hello, nick!

Radio's freaking out again.

Steph, you don't think

those things followed us
out here, do you?

Ah, no.

There's, like, 60 miles
between us and them,

whatever they are, things.

That's not
the point.

Uh, here we go again.
What's the point?

The point is they
can't come in here.

And why is that, genius?

Because they can't
step off the road.

Wait, what do you mean
they can't come in here?

Why can't they
step off the road?

Because this is
dirt, not asphalt.

They can't walk on it...


Officer on deck.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't jack frost.

Thought you got cold
feet on us, my man.

You watch your mouth, rodent.

You know, deep down in my heart,

I really believe
I can kick your ass.

Oh, shut up.

Good to have you
back, jack. Cheers.

Yeah, how about you
go easy on that, p.t.?

We might actually
need you later.

Well, now that we're one
big happy family again,

what's our status?

Well, we came up here...

Basically, jack,
it's like this...

We're fucked.

You, no.

We came up here
looking for shade

to make a base camp.

Our tires melted.

Yeah, I saw that.

Mine got torn up by
the rock and the cactus.

Our phones don't work,
our radios don't work.

We don't have any food,
we don't have any water.

See, jack, she's just
repeating what I said.

We're fucked.

Where's nick?

What, you didn't
see him in the car?


I'm going
down there. P.t.?

I'm right behind you.

I knew you'd come back.

Awww, how touching.

Listen, uh, jack,
now that you are back,

uh, could you remove
these handcuffs, huh?

You want me to take
those cuffs off, rabbit?

Where the hell am I
gonna go, jack?

No problem, buddy.

Out here in the desert,

even a criminal like you

doesn't deserve
to have both hands

handcuffed behind his back.

Oh, jack, what the...?

You know, jack, this is really...

This is where you'll be.

You know, I'm really
starting to hate you.

And we were just growing
so fond of you, rabbit.

Then I should be
the one helping you.

Look, guys, I'd make

a great u.s.
marshal, you know.

I mean, if there's anybody

who knows where to
find the dead bodies

it would be moi.

Come on, guys!

This is...

Oh, shit!

Ok, ok, don't even think

about coming near me, all right?

I will stomp your ass to death.

Hey... i'm not scared
of you, you know.

Do I look scared?

Am I the one who
looks scared? Huh?

Do I... yo, jack!




Never mind, jack.
It's ok.

And where the fuck did he go?

Probably in the backseat



He just came down for a smoke.

Nick! We need you now!

Where the hell is he?


Whoa! Shit!

Fuck! Fuck! Jack!

Jack! Steph!



Damn it! Shit! Help!

Help! Jack!



P.t.! Some
fucking body!



Where the hell do you
think you're going?

They're coming, jack.

They're fucking coming.

He's coming... calm down.

He's fucking coming, jack!

The convict!

Where? Here?

He tried to kill me!

He just fucking tried
to kill me!

The one with the pickax!

Don't do that!

I thought you said
they couldn't leave the road.

Yeah, well...

And they could
only walk on asphalt.

Yeah, well, i-i-it's...

You know, he never got very far

from that... from
that snack shack,

so, he must've come up
out of the floor.

He must have come up out
of the concrete floor.

We got a new rule here.
They can walk on concrete.

How'd you get
the pole up?

What pole?

The pole in your hand, fool.

I have no fucking idea.

Ok, a man does incredible things

when face to face with death.

Oh, you're face to face
with death, all right,

and he's right there.

I believe you.


Yeah. You're not
exactly mike tyson,

so the only way
you got that pole up

is if you were pissing yourself.

All right, I'm gonna
phone some backup.

Who's got a phone?

I do, uh,
right here. Here.

The phones don't work out here.

P.t., I don't happen to have
a sat com uplink on me,

and I don't have
the time or inclination

to rewire the car
so I can tap out morse code.

So all I have is this phone.

All right, all right.
Jesus, calm down.

This doesn't happen to work.

I told you so.

Well, we have no food or water,

our tires are gone,

the phones and radios
don't work,

nick is missing,

and those things are out there!

That's strange.

Well, I'm not
answering that.

Hey, nobody
knows I'm here.

It's probably
for me anyway.


There's no one there,
but there's a dial tone.

Call 911.

I'm always thinking.

Ah, yes, sheriff?

I can't hear you.

Hello, sheriff, this is
agent jack la roca.

Can you hear me?

Yeah, I can hear ya now.

All right, sheriff, listen.

I'm on the old road
off route 66.

I'm here with 4 other
federal marshals

and a witness I gotta
get to los angeles

by tomorrow morning.

I need you to call
the u.s. marshal's office

in los angeles.
That number is 310-555-6212.

I need an airlift and some
extra firepower here asap.

Yeah, I got that.

I'll be waiting.

That was them feds
you pulled over.

Agent la roca.

Where are they at?

Still at the old road.

They want me to call

that los angeles
marshal's office

and get 'em some backup.

Seems that office don't know

exactly where they are,

so I should call 'em.


Why indeed.

this fucking desert.
I'm dying of thirst here.

P.t., you wanna share
some of that?

It's not good for you.
It's tonic water.

Yeah, right.

Jack, I'm thirsty here.

You gotta give me some water.

What's taking them so long?

Pretty hard to find.

They'll be here.


Hello. I'm thirsty,

I'm not a fucking camel,
you know. I'm a human being.

You know, I know my rights here.

Quiet, please.

What the hell
are they doing here?

That's not what I ordered.

It's probably just local cops.

The cops? Thank god.

Never thought
I'd be saying that.

All right, steph, mary,

go down there and
bring those cops

back up here,
ok? P.t...

I gotta pee.


Well, cops make me
nervous, jack.

I feel like I gotta pee.

All right, you two go ahead.

I'm gonna take this
asshole to the bathroom.

Steph, do me a favor.
Cut him off, please.

P.t., the cops are here,
straighten your ass up.

Aw, come on, jack.
You don't even trust me

to go in there
and piss by myself?

While in my custody,
it is my job

to keep an eye on you
at all times

and circumstances.

Yeah, but these are extenuating
circumstances, my man.

You know, I'm really

As I'm sure your mother must be.

Hey, don't go there, jack.

Whoa, shit!
This is concrete.

Well, then, obviously
you need to hurry.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Whoa, whoa!

All right, get busy.

I don't like this.

Stage fright.
Just hold on.

It's coming, it's coming.

Why don't you turn
that water on for me,

would you, jack?

You know, you really ought
to get your bladder checked.

You got an infection
or disease or something

'cause you piss a lot.

You're on your own, pal.


Hey, jack.

Your partner, steph?

Think she'd go out with me?

No chance.

No chance? Come on, man,
there's always a chance.

Come on, give me some odds.

You and steph?

10 million to one.

10 million to one.

All right, I'm on the boards.

No, you are not, all right.

There's no line on that bet.

You're off the board.


Ah, uh-huh.

You're hitting it,
aren't you, jack?


Just shut up and piss.

I'm trying, all right?

Oh, Jesus.

All right, get up, partner.

There's an officer on deck.

Let's just take this
little thing right here.

Hey, hey, hey!

Hold it right there.

Ooh, yeah.

Well, where are the others?

There aren't any others.
It's just us.


I, uh,

I thought you said
there were 7 of 'em.

There were.

Oh, come on, now.

Come on.

Just tell me.

Where are they?

Fuck you.

Like they say, I guess,

if you're gonna teach
a jackass anything,

you, uh, you just first

have to get his attention.

- Aaah!
- God, you...!

Son of a bitch!


you fuck!

How could you shoot her?!

Oh, a woman? Well, son,
when I was in 'nam,

we found that the women
had to be treated

with equal prejudice.

We lost an awful lot of good men

to the so-called weaker sex.

But the question was,

how many, and where?

Don't you fucking
tell him, p.t.

oh, ho.

You have got

big cojones, ma'am.

And it's really gonna hurt me

to have to shoot 'em off.


There were 7 of us, all right?

3 were killed earlier.

and now mary.

Which leaves?

One, sheriff.

One. Yeah,
that's right.

One, huh?
Unaccounted for.



In the bathroom!

In the bathroom.
Stop it. Put that...

Oh, I truly hope he is,

for this little
lady's sake here.

Why don't you ask
the guy in the can

if he'd like to come join us?

Yes, sir.

You're not gonna
get away with this.


What the fuck are you doin'?

Hands up.

Hands up? Hands up?

Would you like to put this away?

Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Put it away!

One minute.

Hang on.

You see this badge?
Do you see this badge?

I am a federal marshal.

You had better be the president.

I don't care
who you are, come on,

we got a little party
for ya, buddy.

Do you have
any fuckin' idea?

You know, you fuckin' people

have bitten off much more
than you can chew.

You know that, don't ya?

You people are
in very large trouble, ok?

You have no idea
who you are messin' with.

I happen to be a personal friend

of the president!

20 years on the job,

I have never seen
anything like this

in my entire life.

You know, you shit-kickers
are lookin'

at murder, kidnapping,

interfering with
a federal investigation,

and obstruction of justice.

You know that, don't you?

Sit down!

I got a message for you people...

I got a message for you.

Mine's got a better point.

Oh, yeah? Yeah?
Yeah, well, surprise,

we've got backup on the way.

I don't think so.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah,
they're coming, ok.

They were called 4 hours ago.

Who the fuck stole my watch?


I didn't make the call.

Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.

I can tell by your expression,

nobody else knows where you are.

They know.

Oh, ho, now, come on, susie-q.

We both played enough poker
to know we're bluffin'.

You think?

Is the pope still catholic?

Why don't you look that shit up

in your redneck dictionary?


Maybe it's another one of 'em.

Go bring him back.

You know I will.


Keep driving, mario,

or your brains'll be
all over the windshield.

All right, try not to flinch.

Ha! Look at him.
He shot out the tire.

Oh, dear.

It does look like
your friend is toast,

don't it?


All right, stop the car.

Now, get out slowly
and remember,

I have no compunction whatsoever

about shooting you in the back.


All right, you know the drill.

Hand behind ya.

All right, this way.

Down here.

Not here.

Not on the road.

What did you say?

Not on the road!

I thought so, you piece of shit!

You've known all along.

You've known exactly
what's goin' on!

Fuck you.

I'm bleeding.

That's right, and you're
gonna bleed a lot more

unless you tell me
what the fuck is goin' on!

We can't stay on the road.

I know that part!

Now I wanna know why!

'Cause they kill
anything on the road.

I know that! Why?!

What do you mean why?

They're coming!
They're coming!

Oh, god, help me!
Help me!


Uncuff yourself.

Uncuff yourself!




Oh! Oh!

No, don't! Stop!


Aah! Aah!

Keep an eye on 'em.

Yes, sir.




There's a new marshal in town.

Stay with me.
Look at me.

Look at me, look at me.

I am having such a bad day.

Who the hell are you?

Federal agent jack la roca.

I got a couple of
questions for you,

but first...

that's for shooting
a federal marshal.

And that's for shooting
an unarmed woman, asshole.

where's gil?

You know, that sounded
like a question to me.

Ask another and
they'll be asking

where your face is!

Answer my questions
and you might live.

In folsom at least
you'll be alive.

Now where's my backup?

I said where the fuck...

They ain't coming!


I didn't call 'em.

Is this a game to you?

Do you think this is
a fucking game?

Answer my question!

Not until you tell me
what happened to my son.

Gil's my son.

They got him, didn't they?

They put him in the road.

Why? Why did they
do that?

Oh, you don't know
what you're up against.

That gun?
It don't scare me.

It ain't gonna do
either one of us no good

'cause if we stay close enough
to this road, they'll come.

They can smell us.

They feed on blood,

and now they need more
to keep strong.

If they don't get it,
they gotta go back.

Under the road?

Under the road.

Where them
sons-a-bitches belong.

You too, la roca.

I didn't have nothing
to do with that.

Get down now.

I had nothing to do with it.

Get down now, la roca!

Come on, move it!

Open fire, boys!

They thought they were
gonna run on my watch?

My god, I'm gonna fix it

so they can't never run again.

What are we gonna
tell the warden, boss?

Tell him there's an accident.

Tell him they got caught up

under the... the roller.

We can't just bury them here,

right in the middle of the road.

Why not? This hellhole's
as good a place as any

to bury garbage.

Tomorrow we'll put up
4 cheap markers...

Who the hell's to know?

You got a problem with that?

No, boss.

You son of a bitch!

You were the road boss!

You put them in the road!

You buried them alive!

I'm gonna put you
in this fucking road!

You son of a bitch!
You made this!

You're the reason
the spirits are restless!

Why my father can't rest!

P.t., no.


Rabbit, get his gun.
Let's go.

You gotta let us up!

They can smell us!

Dear god, I tell you!



That's mister boy to you.





Come on, you son of a bitch!

Come on!

Aaaah, aaah!

Aaaaaah! Aaaaaah!

Yowza, boss.

Route 66, take us home.

Seems kind of peaceful out here.


Evil old man.

Kill him and bring
peace to this road.

To the walking spirits.

To my soul.

That's what the man said.


The shaman in the cave.

What shaman?

What the fuck you
been smoking, jack?

Yeah, it's a long story.

You know what, rabbit?

We might just get you
to court on time.

Hey, it's a date.

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