Roughing It (2002) - full transcript

A teenaged Mark Twain travels to the American West during the "Gold Rush" days in search of fortune and his destiny.

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Man: THAT'S ALL I NEED.
I DON'T NEED ANYTHING ELSE.

Woman: THEN DON'T
COMPLAIN AFTERWARD
OF WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE.

I'M COMPETENT
TO PACK MYSELF.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET
ANY MORE FATIGUED.

I'M WELL ENOUGH
TO PUT A FEW THINGS
INTO YOUR SUITCASE.

AND BEFORE YOU GO,
I HAVE A FEW THINGS FOR SUSY.

I HOPE I DON'T
EMBARRASS HER.

I KNOW SHE'S ALWAYS
WANTED ME

TO WRITE OF MORE
SERIOUS MATTERS.

WHY, DEAR YOUTH,

ARE YOU NERVOUS
ABOUT THE SPEECH?



I DON'T KNOW WHY
THEY ASKED ME.

I HAVE NO ADVICE
WORTH HEARING.

I CAN'T FIND THE CORNCOB.
I CAN'T GO WITHOUT IT.

YOU MUST HAVE LEFT IT
IN THE KITCHEN.

YOU'VE GOT PLENTY OF TIME
TO MAKE YOUR TRAIN.

LIVY, IT'S NOT IN HERE!

LOOK ON TOP OF THE PIE SAFE.

MAYBE THEY CAN GET
SOMEONE ELSE TO SPEAK.

SAM...

SAM...

IT WAS HERE IN THE SUITCASE.

OH.

[APPLAUSE]

Man: MISS CECILIA ADAMS



HAS DISTINGUISHED
HERSELF IN ECONOMICS.

MISS LAURA ESTHER WHITMAN.
HISTORY.

MISS CHARLOTTE WILSON.
ENGLISH.

THANK YOU.

MISS AMELIA SHEPHERD.
PHILOSOPHY.

CONGRATULATIONS.

MY FATHER SAYS
MARK TWAIN

IS LITTLE MORE
THAN A BUFFOON,

BETTER SUITED
TO THE MINSTREL SHOW

THAN THE GRADUATION
PODIUM.

EXCUSE ME, I COULDN'T HELP
BUT OVERHEAR YOUR REMARKS.

I HAVE A $20 GOLD PIECE
IN MY PURSE THAT SAYS

MR. TWAIN WILL IMPART
NOTHING MORE THAN
ANECDOTES AND JOKES,

AND THAT
AT LEAST 10 PEOPLE

WILL LEAVE FROM BOREDOM
BEFORE HE'S FINISHED.

YOU HAVE A WAGER, ELIZABETH.

MISS SUSAN OLIVIA CLEMENS.

MISS HENRIETTA ZIMMERMAN.

THANK YOU.

WELL DONE, SUSY.

WE'RE VERY PROUD OF YOU.

NOT TOO MANY JOKES, PAPA,
PLEASE. AND WEAR YOUR HAT!

REMEMBER, I SUGGESTED
YOU SPEAK HERE TODAY.

MAKE ME PROUD.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

IT NOW GIVES ME GREAT
PLEASURE TO INTRODUCE

THE CELEBRATED HUMORIST
AND AUTHOR OF SUCH WORKS AS

THE ADVENTURES
OF TOM SAWYER,

HUCKLEBERRY FINN,

AND, OF COURSE,
INNOCENTS ABROAD.

MARK TWAIN IS ALSO KNOWN
AS SAMUEL CLEMENS,

AND HE IS THE FATHER

OF MISS SUSAN CLEMENS
IN OUR GRADUATING CLASS.

BUT NOW,
WITHOUT FURTHER ADO,

I GIVE YOU MARK TWAIN.

[APPLAUSE]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
AND NEW GRADUATES,

AS I LOOK OUT ACROSS
YOUR SHINING FACES THIS DAY

AND SEE MY OWN DAUGHTER
SUSY AMONG YOUR NUMBER,

I AM MOVED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE
OF THIS RARE SITUATION

TO IMPART SOME ADVICE.

NOT THAT IT
IS A RARE SITUATION
FOR ME TO GIVE ADVICE.

SOME MIGHT ARGUE THAT
IT IS ALL TOO COMMON,

BUT RARE IN THE FACT
THAT THIS TIME

MY DAUGHTER SUSY HAS
LITTLE ALTERNATIVE
BUT TO LISTEN.

[LAUGHTER]

[WHISPERING]
Shall we settle up now?

...OF STARTING THE SEARCH
FOR YOUR LIFE'S WORK.

I BELIEVE IT MAY SERVE
SOME PURPOSE TO ACQUAINT YOU

WITH MY OWN ADVENTURES
AS A YOUNG MAN

WHEN I WAS IN THE WEST.

I WAS NOT FAR FROM THE AGE
OF MOST OF YOU

WHEN I BEGAN MY SEARCH
FOR MY LIFE'S CALLING,

THOUGH SEARCH
CONNOTES INTENTION,

OF WHICH I HAD NONE,

[LAUGHTER]

I HAD SERVED
APPROXIMATELY 2 WEEKS
IN THE CONFEDERATE ARMY

WHEN IT HAD BECOME CLEAR,

THAT DUE TO
MY LACK OF EXPERIENCE,

I WAS A GREATER THREAT

TO BOTH MYSELF
AND THE CONFEDERACY

THAN I WAS
TO MR. LINCOLN'S FORCES,

SO, UH,
I LEFT OFF SOLDIERING.

AT THE SAME TIME,
MY OLDER BROTHER ORION

HAD PROCURED A POSITION

AS SECRETARY
TO THE GOVERNOR OF NEVADA,

SO IT SEEMED AN OPPORTUNE
MOMENT TO GO ALONG.

THAT WAS UNCIVILIZED
TERRITORY IN THOSE YEARS.

IT WAS FULL
OF DESPERADOS, INDIANS,

AND OTHER ASSORTED DANGERS.

IN SHORT,

FULL OF OPPORTUNITY
FOR A YOUNG MAN

WHOSE ANATOMY CONSISTS
OF A NOSE FOR TROUBLE,

EYES BLIND TO THE TRUTH,

AND A GULLET
BIG ENOUGH TO SWALLOW

ANY GET-RICH-QUICK SCHEME.

THAT WAS ME.

I HAD INTENDED AN EXCURSION

IN THAT WILD COUNTRY
FOR PERHAPS 3 MONTHS,

BUT AS ONE THING
LED TO ANOTHER,

I JOURNEYED THERE
FOR SOME 7 YEARS.

FOLLOW ME, SAM.

THAT'S THE LAST ONE.
THANKS FOR THE HELP.

[SIGHS]

SAM, YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO FIGURE WHAT
YOU'RE GONNA DO PRETTY SOON.

WELL, I CAN'T SAY AS
I GOT A PARTICULAR FEEL
FOR ANYTHING QUITE YET.

IT'S NOT ABOUT
FEEL, SAM.

YOU GOTTA HAVE A PLAN
FOR THE FUTURE.

THAT'S WHAT
I'M GETTING AT.

YOU GOT TO
PUT YOUR OAR IN

AND MAKE FOR SHORE
SOMEWHERE.

OTHERWISE,
YOU'LL JUST DRIFT.

NOW, I'M GONNA BE
THE SECRETARY TO
THE GOVERNOR OF NEVADA.

IT'S A START
THAT'S GONNA LEAD
TO SOMETHING ELSE.

IT'S THE BEGINNING
OF A PLAN.

WELL, I'M GONNA BE
YOUR ASSISTANT, AREN'T I?

BEING AN UNPAID
ASSISTANT

IS NOT CLASSIFIED
AS A CAREER.

DO YOU NOT WANT ME
TO GO WITH YOU?

I WANT YOU TO GO.
YOU'RE MY BROTHER.

THE POINT IS, YOU CAN'T
GO ON AIMLESSLY FOREVER.

ALL RIGHT, ORION.
HERE'S MY PLAN.

I'M GONNA BE RICH.

I DON'T KNOW HOW YET,
BUT I AM.

IN THE MEANTIME,
I JUST FIGURE

I'LL TAG ALONG WITH YOU
AND HAVE SOME FUN.

[SIGHS]

WELL, I DON'T SUPPOSE

THERE'S ANYTHING
WRONG WITH THAT
FOR A FEW MONTHS.

NOT A THING IN THE WORLD.

THEY SAY THEY GOT
JACKASS RABBITS OUT
THERE AS BIG AS DOGS.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE
TO GO UP IN THE MOUNTAINS

AND JUST PICK THE GOLD
RIGHT UP OFF THE GROUND.

DESERT OUT THERE
JUST LIKE IN ARABIA.

EXCUSE ME, SIR.

THE STAGE
LEAVES AT NOON.

HOW ARE YOU GONNA
GET OUR BAGGAGE

ON THE COACH
WITH ALL THAT MAIL?

I AIN'T.

BUT IF IT
DOESN'T GO WITH US,

THEN HOW WILL IT GO?

DON'T MATTER TO ME.

BUT WE EACH PAID
$150 FOR A TICKET.

WELL, THAT'S
THE PRICE FOR YOU

AND 25 POUNDS OF CARRY.

WHAT ABOUT THE REST?

THE REST I SUGGEST
YOU SHIP BACK

TO WHEREVER
IT IS YOU CAME FROM.

'CAUSE IF YOU AIN'T
BACK HERE BY NOON,

YOU MIGHT AS WELL
GO BACK WITH IT.

I'LL GIVE YOU 8 BITS
FOR THAT TOP HAT.

Orion: YOU HAVE TO TAKE
THE STATUTES BOOK.

Sam: I'VE GOT
MY OWN MESS TO TAKE.

I CAN LEAVE
MY KID GLOVES,

I CAN LEAVE MY
PATENT-LEATHER SHOES,

BUT YOU CAN'T
RUN A TERRITORY
WITHOUT THE LAW!

I NEED
THE STATUTES BOOK!

IF YOU NEED IT,
YOU TAKE IT.

YOU'RE MY ASSISTANT,
AND I'M TELLING YOU
TO TAKE IT!

I'M YOUR UNPAID ASSISTANT,
AND I'M TELLING YOU

TO LEAVE OFF WHILE YOU
STILL GOT A BROTHER!

HEY! WHERE ARE WE
SUPPOSED TO SIT?

YOU CAN SIT
WHEREVER YOU LIKE.

OF COURSE, IF I WAS YOU,
I'D SIT INSIDE.

THERE'S NO ROOM INSIDE.
IT'S FULL OF MAIL.

AH, WE GOT TO LEAVE
HERE WITH THE MAIL.

SOME'S FOR BRIGHAM,

SOME'S FOR CARSON CITY.

SOME'S FOR
VIRGINIA CITY,

AND QUITE A BIT
IS FOR THE INDIANS.

THE INDIANS GET MAIL?

OH, YEAH. AND THEY GET
POWERFUL UPSET IF THEY
DON'T GET WHAT TO READ.

GET IN OR NOT.

WE'RE LEAVING RIGHT NOW.

Driver: HO!

Twain:
SO WE WERE ON OUR WAY,

LEAVING EVERYTHING
WE KNEW BEHIND,

WHILE THERE AHEAD OF US,

LAY THE WONDERFUL WORLD
OF THE SWEET UNKNOWN.

THE MAIL BAGS SAT
IN THE MOST COMFORTABLE SEATS,

WHILE WE SHARED A BENCH

WITH A SILENT STORK OF A MAN
CALLED MR. BEMIS.

WE BOWLED ALONG AT THE PRINCELY
PACE OF 8 MILES AN HOUR

TOWARDS OUR APPOINTMENT
WITH THE DISTANT HORIZON.

BEYOND WHICH
LAY OUR DESTINATION:

CARSON CITY,
IN THE TERRITORY OF NEVADA.

AS THE MILES ERODED
BENEATH THE ROLLING WHEELS
OF THE STAGECOACH,

I FELT A QUIET EXCITEMENT
BUILD WITHIN ME.

THIS WAS THE ADVENTURE
OF MY YOUNG LIFE,

AND I COULDN'T WAIT
TO SEE IT, TO TASTE IT,

TO FEEL IT,
AND TO BREATHE IT ALL IN.

BY THE EVENING,
WE WERE 60 MILES,

6 CHANGES OF HORSES,
A CHANGE OF DRIVERS,

AND IT SEEMED A WHOLE
WORLD AWAY FROM ST. JO.

NOW, THE STAGECOACH LINE
PROVIDED TRAVELERS

WITH A STATION HOUSE
AT REGULAR INTERVALS,

AND AS WE PULLED INTO
THE FIRST ONE ON OUR ROUTE,

WE WERE ALL LOOKING FORWARD
TO A HEARTY DINNER.

[FLIES BUZZING]

HAVE A SEAT.
HELP YOURSELF.

WELCOME, FELLAS.
HAVING SUPPER?

THE MEAT LOOKS SPOILED.

THEN HELP YOURSELF
TO THE MUSTARD.

[FLIES BUZZING]

COFFEE?

Twain: AFTER DINNER,

WE VOLUNTEERED WE WERE
GOING ALL THE WAY TO NEVADA.

AND THAT'S
WHEN WE FIRST HEARD

OF A TERRIFYING MAN
KNOWN AS MR. SLADE.

MEANEST MAN ANY OF US
IS EVER LIKELY TO MEET
THIS SIDE OF HADES.

LAST I'D HEARD,
HE'D KILLED SOME 26 MEN.

HE KILLED 26 MEN?

OF COURSE,
I AIN'T HEARD LATELY.

AND HE WORKS
FOR THE STAGE LINE?

HIS FIRST WAS A MAN

ON THE WAGON TRAIN
HE WAS COMING OUT HERE WITH.

SEEMS THEY GOT INTO SOME
KIND OF AN ALTERCATION.

PRETTY SOON, ONE MAN WAS
CALLING THE OTHER ONE OUT.

AND THEN THEY GOT
TO BACKING UP.

AND SOON ENOUGH,

THEY EACH DREW.

NOW SLADE WAS BEAT HERE,

AND SO HE BEGAN TO PROTEST
THAT IT WAS A SHAME

TO WASTE LIFE
ON SO SMALL A MATTER

AS THE ONE THAT HAD LED
TO THAT ARGUMENT.

SLADE PROPOSED THAT THEY
BOTH PUT THEIR PISTOLS DOWN

AND SETTLE THE MATTER
WITH A FISTFIGHT.

WHERE UPON SLADE LAUGHED
AT THE MAN'S SIMPLENESS...

AND SHOT HIM DEAD.

Driver: LET'S GIT, GENTS.

THAT'LL BE A DOLLAR
APIECE, FELLAS.

Twain: OUR JOURNEY
WAS FIGURED TO STRETCH

ALMOST 3 WEEKS
AT 100 MILES A DAY.

AT TIMES, THE STAGECOACH
ROCKED LIKE A CRADLE.

SOMETIMES IT BALKED
AND SHOOK LIKE A MAN

GOING TO CONFESSION
AFTER 10 YEARS AT SEA.

BUT THE ROLLING HILLS,
THE HIGH GRASS,

AND THE UNSEEN FORCE OF FATE
DRAWING US EVER NEARER,

MADE MY HEART GLAD
WITH ANTICIPATION.

WE NEXT PAUSED
AT A DESTINATION

DISTINGUISHED MOSTLY
BY ITS LACK OF ANY
DISCERNIBLE LANDMARK.

WHOA!

WHY ARE WE STOPPING?

[SIGHS]
YEAH. IT FIGURED.

THOROUGHBRACE
IS BROKE.

Twain: EVIDENTLY,
A THOROUGHBRACE--

WHATEVER IT IS WHOLE--

IS ENTIRELY USELESS BROKEN.

BUT OUR CONDUCTOR
SEEMED TO VIEW ITS FAILURE

AS A STROKE OF DESTINY.

NOW LUCKILY,
IT BROKE RIGHT HERE,

WHERE THE INDIANS
TAKE DELIVERY
OF THEIR MAIL.

Twain: I CONFESS,
THAT UP UNTIL THAT MOMENT,

I HAD NO IDEA
THE INDIANS OF THAT TIME

WERE SUCH AVID READERS.

THIS BELONG TO YOU,

OR SHOULD IT BE MORE MAIL
FOR THE INDIANS?

Twain: BUT WE SOON REALIZED

THAT OUR CONDUCTOR
TOOK AN ARBITRARY APPROACH

TO DELIVERING THE INDIANS'
CORRESPONDENCE

THAT HAD LESS TO DO WITH
ANY PARTICULAR ADDRESS

AND MORE TO DO WITH
PRESERVING WHAT WAS LEFT
OF OUR DEAR THOROUGHBRACE.

OUR NEXT STOP GAVE ME
A WHOLE NEW APPRECIATION

FOR ALL THAT DIRT
I'D WALKED ON FOR SO MANY YEARS.

I THOUGHT THE STUFF
COMPLETELY UNEDUCATED,

BUT HERE, SOMEONE HAD
TAUGHT IT TO BE A HOUSE.

[MOO]

[MOO]

IT WAS THE FIRST TIME
THAT ANY OF US

HAD SEEN A HOUSE
WITH ITS FRONT LAWN ON THE ROOF.

[LAUGHTER]

AFTER WE HAD PARTAKEN
OF OUR VITTLES,

THE STATION KEEPER INQUIRED
ABOUT OUR FIREARMS...

IF WE HAD ANY.

NOW, THIS WAS
INDIAN TERRITORY,

AND SLADE'S STATION
WAS UP YONDER TO BOOT.

ORION AND I WEREN'T
CARRYING ANY FIREARMS,

BUT OUR SILENT FRIEND
MR. BEMIS

TURNED OUT TO BE
THE PROUD OWNER
OF AN ALLEN PISTOL.

RATHER THAN
THE CYLINDER ROTATING,

THE BARREL
DID ALL THE TRAVELING.

THIS MADE ITS OPERATION
SOMETHING OF A WONDER

AND ITS ACCURATE AIMING
A COMPLETE IMPOSSIBILITY.

[MOO]

HEY!
YOU SHOT MY COW!

Twain:
IT SEEMS THE ALLEN PISTOL

HAD CAUGHT SOMETHING
ENTIRELY DIFFERENT

FROM WHAT MR. BEMIS
HAD TOLD IT TO FETCH.

TURNED OUT
THE STATION KEEPER

HAD A SPECIAL AFFECTION
FOR THAT COW,

AND NONE OF US WERE
GOING TO BE LEAVING

UNTIL BEMIS PAID
FOR THE DAMAGES.

AND HAVING PAID FOR IT,

MR. BEMIS WAS INSISTENT
THAT WE TAKE IT ALONG,

WHICH MADE THAT SHOT
FROM THE ALLEN PISTOL
EXPENSIVE FOR ALL OF US.

LUCKILY, MR. BEMIS
WAS ONLY GOING

AS FAR AS DEVIL'S GATE.

HE AND HIS PRIZE COW
LEFT US THERE

AS WE MOVED
THANKFULLY ONWARD.

PONY!
PONY!

YOU GENTS WANT TO SEE
THE PONY EXPRESS?

YOU GENTS WANT TO SEE
A REAL HUMAN MIRACLE?

THAT THERE IS
THE PONY EXPRESS!

PONY! PONY!

RIDE 'EM, BOY! RIDE 'EM!

UHH! OW!

LOOK AT THAT BOY RIDE!

YEE-HOO!

LAST CHANCE, GENTS!

HERE HE COMES!

THERE HE GOES!

YOU RIDE 'EM, BOY!

PONY! YEE-HAW!

HA HA HA HA.

I WONDER WHAT THEY'RE
DOING AT HOME RIGHT NOW?

[SIGHS]

THEY'RE NOT DOING THIS.

I'M GONNA TELL YOU
SOMETHING, SAM.

YOU'RE ALWAYS TELLING
ME SOMETHING, ORION.

NOPE. I'M GONNA
TELL YOU SOMETHING

YOU DON'T ALREADY
THINK YOU KNOW.

ALL RIGHT.

I MAY BE THE ONE
WITH THE APPOINTMENT

TO BE SECRETARY TO
THE GOVERNOR OF NEVADA,

BUT MAMA HAS
ALWAYS BELIEVED

YOU ARE THE HOPE
OF THE FAMILY.

MAMA NEVER TOLD ME THAT.

SHE TOLD ME.
I'M TELLING YOU.

AND THAT'S WHY
I'VE BEEN ON YOU

TO DO SOMETHING
WITH YOUR LIFE,
INSTEAD OF--

INSTEAD OF LEAVING
THE WHOLE THING
UP TO CHANCE.

YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
WHO'S GONNA AMOUNT
TO MUCH THAT I CAN SEE.

THINK ON IT.

I'M SENDING YOU
A LETTER, MAMA.

I'M PUTTING IT RIGHT
HERE IN THIS STREAM.

IT MUST FLOW INTO
THE MISSISSIPPI SOMETIME

AND COME BY HANNIBAL.

I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU PUT ANY HOPE IN ME.

IT'S HARD FOR ME TO SET
MY SIGHTS ON ONE SPOT,

TO DO LIKE ORION SAYS:

PICK A PLACE
ON THE RIVERBANK AND PUT IN.

I LIKE THE WAY
THE RIVER JUST FLOWS,

GOING WHERE IT'S GOING.

IT DOESN'T SEEM TO WORRY
IT'LL END UP ANYWHERE.

BUT IF YOU THINK
IT'S IMPORTANT...

THEN I'LL GIVE IT
SOME ATTENTION.

Orion: COME ON, SAM.
WE'RE ON THE ROAD.

[SIGHS]

THAT'S ME.

Twain: WE WERE HALFWAY
THROUGH OUR JOURNEY

AND HAD PASSED
THROUGH THE PLUMBING
OF THE TERRITORIES--

HOT SPRINGS, COLD SPRINGS,
AND BIG WASH BASIN--

AND WERE NOW 100 MILES SOUTH
OF THE GREAT SALT LAKE.

THERE WE WERE JOINED
BY A STRANGER

WITH AN UNMISTAKABLE AIR
OF EXPERIENCE ABOUT HIM,

WHO SEEMED HAPPY
TO ACQUAINT US

WITH ALL KINDS
OF THINGS HE KNEW,

EXCEPT HIS NAME.

[SIGHS]
WELL...

MIGHT AS WELL
MAKE OURSELVES COMFORTABLE.

IT AIN'T GONNA
GET ANY COOLER.

WHEW-EE.

NOW, I AIN'T MUCH
ON GIVING ADVICE

TO FOLKS
ON THIS AND THAT,

BUT Y'ALL LOOK LIKE
GOOD SOLDIERS,

AND I JUST THOUGHT
YOU SHOULD KNOW

IT'S BEST TO STEER CLEAR...

OF SLADE.

WELL, WHICH STATION
IS HE IN?

OH, YOU NEVER KNOW.

THEY MOVE HIM AROUND
FROM ONE TO THE OTHER

'CAUSE HE'S SO PRACTICED
AT KEEPING THE PEACE.

H-H-HAVE YOU
EVER SEEN HIM?

SURE HAVE.

I WAS IN A BAR
IN OVERLAND CITY.

HMM, NICE ESTABLISHMENT.
PEACEFUL ENOUGH.

THE BARKEEP
WAS JUST CLEANIN' UP

AND MINDIN' HIS OWN,

AND THIS MAN COMES IN
AND ORDERS UP A BRANDY.

THE MAN HAD A GUN HERE

AND A GUN THERE.

AND HE GAVE YOU THE FEELING
THAT HE JUST MIGHT

HAVE A COUPLE MORE
SOMEWHERES, TOO.

BARKEEP SAYS
I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU,

JUST AS NICE AS IF HE WAS
TALKIN' TO HIS MA.

AND HE DIDN'T TAKE
MORE THAN A GIDDAP

TO GET DONE
AND DOWN TO THE MAN,

WHO I LATER FOUND OUT
WAS SLADE.

WHAT CAN I
DO FOR YA?

NOW, I BELIEVE THAT HERE

THE BARKEEP MADE
HIS FIRST REAL MISTAKE

WHEN HE ASKED SLADE
WHAT HE WANTED.

AMONG OTHER THINGS,

SLADE DID NOT LIKE
TO REPEAT HIMSELF.

THE BARKEEP
HAD TO GET UP ON A STOOL

TO GET THE BRANDY
SLADE WAS LOOKIN' FOR.

THIS WHAT
YOU'RE LOOKIN' FOR?

JUST POUR IT.

COMIN' UP.

AGAIN, AND ONE FOR YOU.

HERE'S YOURS,
BUT, UH,

I DON'T WANT NONE,
THANKS.

YOU SAYIN' YOU WON'T
DRINK WITH ME?

OR THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG
WITH MY CHOICE OF WHISKEY?

SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT?

NO, MISTER. IT'S FINE.

SO YOU WON'T
DRINK WITH ME.

YOU GOT TROUBLE HEARIN'?

MAYBE I'LL HAVE YOURS.

IT SEEMS HE HADN'T
GOTTEN IT SWIFT ENOUGH.

IN THAT NEXT INSTANT...

[GUNSHOT]

THAT BARKEEP
WAS THE DEADEST MAN

THAT EVER LIVED.

AND THEN... SLADE OUT
AND CUT HIS EARS OFF.

AND HE SAID,
"MAYBE YOU'LL REMEMBER TO
LISTEN BETTER NEXT TIME."

SOME SAY HE WORE 'EM...
ON HIS VEST FOR A WHILE.

SOME SAY HE JUST
KEPT 'EM IN THE CUPBOARD.

MONO LAKE.
NOW THAT'S SOMETHIN'.

ALL ALKALI.

PUT YOUR CLOTHES
IN THERE FOR 2 MINUTES,

THEY COME OUT CLEANER
THAN THE DAY YOU GOT 'EM.

Driver:
HYAH! HYAH!

WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

GO ON! GIDDAP!

OW.

THIS DAMN BOOK'S
GONNA KILL ME, ORION.

KEEP YOUR HEADS
DOWN, GENTS!

IS IT INDIANS?

YOU DON'T HEAR WHOOPIN'
AND HOLLERIN', DO YA?

THEY'RE BANDITS.

WHAT DO THEY WANT?

WHAT IN BLAZES
DO YOU THINK THEY WANT?

ORION,
I TAKE IT ALL BACK!

THIS IS THE HANDIEST BOOK
I'VE EVER SEEN.

WHOA UP! WHOA UP!

WHOA!

WHOA! HO!

GET ON UP THERE!

GET OUT OF THERE!
UNLOAD!

THIS HERE'S A MAIL WAGON.

THERE AIN'T NOTHIN'
OF VALUE ON BOARD.

YOU PASSENGERS,
GET ON OUT!

NOW, TOOTHLESS HERE
IS NOT PARTICULAR

ABOUT WHAT HE SHOOTS!

SO BE SURE YOU DON'T MAKE
ANY SUDDEN MOVES.

EMPTY THEM POCKETS
AND STAND AWAY.

THIS THE KIND OF ADVENTURE
YOU HAD IN MIND, SAM?

IT LOOKS A LITTLE
DIFFERENT UP CLOSE.

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE,
MISTER!

LET'S SEE WHAT'S ON
THE END OF THAT CHAIN.

IT'S AN OLD WATCH.

FISH IT OUT!

IT'S OUR DADDY'S WATCH.

IT ISN'T WORTH
ANYTHING TO YOU.

I'LL BE THE JUDGE
OF THAT.

AH-AH-AH!

YOUR DADDY'S GOT
RIGHT NICE TASTE.

YOU FRIENDS MUST BE NEW
TO THE TERRITORY.

BEEN HERE A LITTLE.

OH. WELL, IF YOU'D
BEEN HERE A WHILE,
YOU'D KNOW

THAT THIS IS
THE WRONG STAGE LINE
TO BE ROBBIN'.

UNLESS YOU DON'T
KNOW WHOSE DISTRICT
YOU'RE ROBBIN' IN.

DON'T
MATTER TO ME
WHOSE IT IS.

CAUSE THIS HERE
IS SLADE'S DISTRICT.

SLADE?

SLADE?

[NEIGHS]

YEAH. SLADE.

I SUPPOSE
YOU BOYS HAVE HEARD
HE DON'T TAKE KINDLY

TO PEOPLE ROBBIN'
THE STAGECOACH
IN HIS DISTRICT.

HE TENDS TO--
HEH HEH--

TAKE IT PERSONAL.

AND HE'S GOT
A LONG MEMORY.

N-N-NOW, YOU TELL
MR. SLADE THAT NOTHIN'
HAPPENED OUT HERE.

THAT WE JUST
STOPPED YOU FOLKS
FOR SOME CONVERSATION.

I'LL MAKE SURE
HE KNOWS.

HYAH! COME ON. HYAH!

THIS REALLY
SLADE'S DISTRICT?

AIN'T NO DOUBT.

STRIKES ME THIS STAGE LINE

HAS NO PLAN FOR DEFENSE
AGAINST THIS KIND OF MISHAP.

NO DEFENSE?

HOW DO YOU DEFEND
AGAINST SOMETHING LIKE THAT

OUT HERE IN A HUNDRED MILES
OF PLACES TO HIDE IN?

THERE'S GOTTA BE
A PLAN AGAINST IT,

OTHER THAN HOPIN'
THAT THE OUTLAWS
HAVE HEARD OF SLADE.

SEEMS TO WORK
PRETTY GOOD.

THAT'S NOT A PLAN.

WE'RE ALL A-WAITIN'
TO HEAR YOURS.

WHOA!

IT'S THIS ONE, RIGHT?

THAT'S RIGHT.

THERE YOU GO.

WELL, BEEN A PLEASURE
TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE.

REMEMBER...

YOU WATCH OUT
FOR SLADE.

[CHUCKLING
TO HIMSELF]

I'VE BEEN THINKING,
ORION.

ON WHAT?

ALL THAT TALK ON PLANNING.

I FIGURE YOU GOT A POINT.

I SHOULD SET MY SIGHTS
ON SOMETHING AND HEAD FOR IT.

WELL, I'M GLAD
YOU'RE COMIN' AROUND.

I CAN'T DENY THAT SO FAR
I HAVEN'T AMOUNTED TO MUCH...

OR EVEN WANTED TO.

SO YOU MIGHT PUT
YOUR OAR IN SOMEPLACE?

THE QUESTION IS WHAT?

I HAVEN'T HIT ON
A PARTICULAR TALENT.

OH. THERE ARE
A LOT OF THINGS
YOU'RE GOOD AT.

I'M GOOD AT GAMBLING.

IF PRACTICE HAS
ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT.

WHAT ABOUT LYING?
I'M GOOD AT LYING.

WELL, LET'S SEE.
GAMBLING AND LYING.

ANYTHING ELSE?

I DO LOVE MY PIPE.

AH, GAMBLING, LYING,
AND SMOKING.

THAT LEAVES OUT
THE CLERGY.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[SIGHS] THERE'S
GOTTA BE SOMETHING.

I'M SURE
WE'LL HIT ON IT.

THE IMPORTANT THING
IS NOW YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
YOUR FEET ON THE GROUND

INSTEAD OF DANCIN'
AROUND ANY WHICH WAY.

TO HAVE A PLAN,
THAT'S THE THING.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I SEE IT NOW, ORION.

WHOA!

COME ON! WHOA!

Jasper: NOW, YOU GENTS MIGHT
WANNA WASH UP OVER YONDER.

WHERE YOU FELLERS
HAIL FROM?

HANNIBAL, MISSOURI.

AIN'T NEVER BEEN.

SAY, UH, WHO YOU
DIGGIN' THAT GRAVE
THERE FOR?

NOBODY.

NOBODY DIED?
YOU'RE JUST
DIGGIN' A GRAVE?

SOONER OR LATER
SOMEBODY GONNA FILL IT.

I'M JUST TRYIN'
TO KEEP AHEAD, IS ALL.

Jasper: THEY GOT SOME VITTLES
SET INSIDE THERE, GENTS.

COME IN.

COME IN, GENTLEMEN.

PULL UP A CHAIR.

I HOPE YOU ALL LIKE
FRESH VENISON,

'CAUSE OTHER THAN BISCUITS
AND GRAVY AND BACON,

THAT'S ALL WE GOT.
OTHER THAN COFFEE.

WELL, THAT SOUNDS
BETTER THAN OUR
MAMA WOULD FIX.

[MEN LAUGH]

ARE YOU TELLIN' ME
THAT I COOK LIKE A WOMAN?

NO. I'M SAYIN' OUR MAMA
COULD COOK A HAM
A DOG WOULDN'T EAT.

WELL, NOW, YOU OUGHT NOT

TO TALK ABOUT YOUR MA
LIKE THAT.

WELL, SHE'S
A GOOD WOMAN.

BUT, UH,
WHEN SHE RINGS
THAT DINNER BELL,

BOY, PEOPLE SCATTER
FOR MILES AROUND.

DO YOU REMEMBER
THAT SPECIAL BREAD?

THE ONE SHE MADE FOR
CHRISTMAS LAST YEAR?

BROKE THIS TOOTH
RIGHT HERE ON IT.

THE WOMAN TRIES AS BEST
AS SHE CAN, THOUGH.

YES, SHE DOES.
SHE MEANS WELL.

'COURSE, SHE DOESN'T
KNOW THE REASON
I LEFT HOME WAS

I WAS ABOUT
TO STARVE TO DEATH.

JUST THE SAME,
A MAN OUGHTA RESPECT HIS MA.

OH, I RESPECT
MY MOTHER.
I TRULY DO.

YOU GOTTA RESPECT
A WOMAN WHO COULD
BAKE A CAKE

ANY SEASONED
RIVERBOAT PILOT

WOULD USE
AS AN ANCHOR.

[CLANKS METAL PAN]

BUT SHE'S STILL YOUR MA.

AND ANY MAN THAT
DON'T RESPECT HIS MA...

AIN'T A MAN AT ALL.

WAGONS ARE ALL
CHANGED OVER, MR. SLADE.

SOMETHIN' WRONG
WITH THE GRAVY?

I SAID, IS SOMETHIN' WRONG
WITH THE GRAVY?

ARE YOU DEAF?

I ASKED YOU A QUESTION
ABOUT THE GRAVY.

SOMETHIN' WRONG?

DOESN'T TASTE LIKE
YOUR MA'S, I HOPE.

NO.

THERE IS SOMETHIN'
WRONG WITH IT.

THIS AIN'T NO GOOD.

ARE YOU LYING TO ME?

UH, NO. NO!
I--I LIKED IT.

I THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD.

OR MAYBE
IT WASN'T AS GOOD
AS I THOUGHT, BUT...

OR MAYBE I'M JUST
NOT USED TO HOW GOOD

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE,
SO I WOULDN'T REALLY...

[HORSE AND RIDER APPROACH]

THERE'S A MAN OUT HERE
WANTS TO TALK TO YOU,
MR. SLADE.

Man: SLADE! GET OUT HERE
AND FACE UP!

YOU AIN'T GONNA
HAVE THE CHANCE
TO SHOOT ME IN THE BACK!

IS THAT MAN DISTURBIN'
YOU GENTS' SUPPERS?

WELL...

HE'S DISTURBIN' MINE.

I AIN'T WAITIN'
ALL DAY, SLADE!

YOU AIN'T GOT
THE STUFFIN'
TO COME OUT,

YOU CAN BET I'M GONNA
COME IN THERE
AND SETTLE UP!

I WON'T BE LONG.

YOU GENTS,

GO AHEAD. FINISH UP.

YOU SURPRISE ME, SLADE.

THOUGHT I WAS GONNA
HAVE TO COME BACK
IN THERE

AND PRY YOU OUT
LIKE THE SCUM OFF
THE BOTTOM OF A ROCK.

Slade: FOR A MAN
WHO'S GONNA BE DEAD
IN A FEW MINUTES,

YOU SEEM HELL-BENT
TO WASTE YOUR
LAST FEW BREATHS.

I SUGGEST A PRAYER.

I DON'T TAKE
SUGGESTIONS
FROM A DOG

WHO WOULD KILL A MAN
WHO NEVER EVEN
HURT A RABBIT.

NO PISTOL OR NOTHIN'!

YOU COME HERE TO CALL ME
OR TALK ME TO DEATH?

LONG AS YOU DIE,
IT DON'T MAKE
NO DIFFERENCE HOW.

[GUNSHOT]

[GUNSHOT]

[THUD]

[DOOR OPENS]

CUP OF COFFEE
BEFORE YOU GO?

UM, UH, LIKE TO,
BUT YOU KNOW, MR. SLADE,

WE GOTTA MAKE
OUR SCHEDULE.

Twain: I FELT THAT I HAD
CHEATED DEATH THAT DAY,

THAT ANOTHER MAN
HAD TAKEN MY PLACE
IN THAT FRESH GRAVE.

I'D LOOKED
INTO THE EYES OF DEATH,

AND I HAD WALKED AWAY.

IT WAS A DISSERVICE
IN MANY WAYS,

NOT TO DIE AT THAT JUNCTURE,

BY THE HAND
THAT KILLED SO MANY

WITH SUCH SMALL PROVOCATION.

THE SAME HAND
THAT HAD SPARED ME.

IT MUST HAVE
GIVEN ORION PAUSE.

IT HURT HIS ARGUMENT
THAT I HAD TO SEEK DIRECTION,

HAVE A PLAN.

WHY, I'D FACED
A CERTAIN DEMISE

WITH NO ILL EFFECTS,
NO WOUND.

IN MY YOUTHFUL STATE,
I SENSED

THAT I HAD BEEN PROTECTED
BY AN UNSEEN HAND OF FATE,

THAT I WAS SPECIAL,

THAT HAVING SURVIVED
A SURE DEATH,

THE GODS
HAD THEIR EYES ON ME

AND WOULD GUIDE
MY FOOTSTEPS.

IN SHORT,
I HAD BEEN LUCKY.

AND THAT SENSE OF LUCK
EQUIPPED ME

WITH A PROTECTIVE ARMOR
OF FALSE BELIEF.

I COULD NOW GO ON MY WAY
UNFETTERED BY DOUBT,

WELCOMING THE UNKNOWN FUTURE

WITHOUT THE FEARFUL QUESTIONS
THAT PLAGUED MOST MEN.

I FELT MY RECKLESSNESS
HAD BEEN REWARDED.

IT WAS A FALSEHOOD THAT WAS
TO BE MY BEACON LIGHT

FOR QUITE SOME TIME
THEREAFTER.

SO, ON THE AFTERNOON
OF OUR 20th DAY OUT OF ST. JO,

WE FOUND OURSELVES
RIDING DOWN THE MAIN STREET
OF THAT DUSTY METROPOLIS,

CARSON CITY.

THE MAIN STREET
OF CARSON CITY

CONSISTED OF A ROW
OF LITTLE FRAME BUILDINGS

THAT WERE TOO HIGH
TO SIT ON

AND TOO LOW FOR ALMOST
ANYTHING ELSE.

AND AS WE PULLED UP IN FRONT
OF THE GOVERNMENT OFFICE,

I REMEMBER I FELT
MY OLD RESOLVE DEEPEN

TO CAST MY FATE TO THE WIND.

ALTHOUGH I WAS GONNA HAVE
TO PICK MY TIME CAREFULLY

TO DISCUSS THIS
WITH THE SECRETARY.

AH. COME OFF
THE STAGE?

JUST ARRIVED.
GOOD AFTERNOON, MISS...

O'FLANNIGAN.

YES. I'M ORION--

CLEMENS.

YES. I'M THE NEW SEC--

SECRETARY TO THE GOVERNOR.

YES.

AND THIS IS
MY BROTHER SAM.

AFTERNOON.

I DIDN'T KNOW
ABOUT YOUR BROTHER.

YOU CAN TAKE YOUR THINGS
UPSTAIRS TO ONE OF THE ROOMS
WHEN YOU'VE A MIND.

THAT'S WHERE THE GOVERNMENT
IS PUTTING YOU UP.

YOU, ANYWAYS.

IS THIS WHERE
THE GOVERNOR STAYS?

NO. THE GOVERNOR STAYS
IN THE GOVERNOR'S MANSION,

WHICH IS ACROSS THE WAY.
WHEN HE'S IN TOWN,

WHICH HE IS NOT
AT THE MOMENT.

WELL, WHEN DO
YOU EXPECT HIM?

I NEVER EXPECT HIM.

HE COMES AND GOES
AS HE WANTS.

THAT'S WHY HE WANTS
A SECRETARY.

SO THERE'LL BE SOMEONE
HERE TO TAKE CARE
OF THIS AND THAT.

THANK YOU,
MISS O'FLANNIGAN.

ARE YOU LOOKING
FOR SOMETHING?

ME? NO.

NOTHING I'M
GONNA FIND HERE.

IS THAT THE STATUTES BOOK
YOU'VE GOT THERE?

YES. UH, WE BROUGHT IT
ALL THE WAY FROM ST. JO.

I WAS JUST SAYIN'
TO MY BROTHER,

YOU CAN'T RUN
THE TERRITORIES WITHOUT A--

THE STATUTES BOOK?
THAT'S TRUE.

THAT'S WHY
WE HAVE ONE HERE.

I MUST SAY, ORION,

I GOT KIND OF
USED TO TRAVELING
ON OUR WAY OUT HERE.

I'M JUST GLAD IT'S OVER.

WELL, THAT'S
A DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN YOU AND ME.

I'M GONNA MISS IT.

I LIKED ALL THAT
MOVIN' AROUND.

WELL, I GOT MY JOB
TO DO HERE.

WELL, THAT'S
ANOTHER DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN YOU AND ME.

THERE'S WORK
FOR YOU HERE.

I'M NOT SURE
IT SUITS ME.

WHY NOT?

WELL, IT'S UNPAID,
FOR ONE THING.

AND YOU KNOW
I PLAN TO...

YOU FIGURE ON
PICKIN' THE GOLD UP
RIGHT OFF THE MOUNTAINS?

I'LL BRING YOU
BACK SOME.

I'LL BE HERE.

Twain: AND SO IT WAS
THAT ORION AND I

PARTED COMPANY FOR A WHILE.

HE WAS CONTENT
TO DROP HIS ANCHOR THERE,

BUT MY SAILS WERE FULL
OF OBNOXIOUS OPTIMISM.

MY HANDS WERE SET TO GRASP

ALL THAT WOULD
EXCEED MY REACH.

MY EYES WERE FOCUSED
ON THE MIRAGE

PROVIDED BY THE IMAGINATION

DESIGNED TO FOOL
THE INTELLECT INTO BELIEVING

THE FUTURE
IS WORTH STRIVING FOR.

AND THAT MIRAGE SURE WAS
CALLING ME ON.

NOW, THERE IS
A POPULAR TRADITION

THAT GOD ALMIGHTY
CREATED NEVADA.

BUT IF YOU CHANCE TO SEE IT,
YOU MIGHT THINK DIFFERENTLY.

[LAUGHTER]

IT'S AN EXTREME KIND
OF COUNTRY.

IT'S WHERE I WAS ABLE
TO WITHSTAND

A SERIOUS BRUSH
WITH HONEST LABOR

AND WHERE I LEARNED ABOUT
THE DANGERS OF OBSESSION.

THE COUNTRY LOOKS SOMETHIN'
LIKE A SINGED CAT,

OWING TO THE SCARCITY
OF SHRUBBERY.

IT TENDS TO PROMOTE THIRST.

SO I WAS HAPPY
TO CHANCE UPON A TRICKLE

KNOWN THEREABOUTS
AS THE CARSON RIVER.

FOR UNTOLD MILES,
I WALKED WITH THE SUN,

UNTIL FINALLY,

I CHANCED UPON
AN OASIS OF CIVILIZATION.

WELL, WELCOME,
STRANGER.
COME ON IN.

SIT YOURSELF DOWN.

THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

ANYWHERE YOU LIKE
IS JUST FINE.

YA HUNGRY?

YES, AS A MATTER OF FACT,
I AM.

THEN YOU GO ON, SON,
AND EAT UP.

WHERE YOU HEADED?

I HAVEN'T GOT THAT
QUITE FIGURED.

I'M HOPING
TO STRIKE IT RICH.

DOING WHAT?

WELL, I HEARD THAT YOU CAN
GO UP IN THE MOUNTAINS

AND JUST PICK
THE SILVER AND GOLD
RIGHT UP OFF THE GROUND.

YOU HEARD THAT,
DID YA?

MM-HMM.

BUT DON'T WORRY.

I HAVE ENOUGH
TO PAY FOR THIS

AND A NIGHT'S LODGING.

NO,
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

YOU KEEP
WHAT YOU GOT.

PAY ME WHEN YOU
GET UP THERE

AND FIND A FEW
HANDFULS OF GOLD
LAYIN' ABOUT.

SON, YOU GONNA HAVE
TO GATHER YOURSELF
A GRUBSTAKE.

SURE. EVERYBODY NEEDS THAT.

WOULDN'T GO PROSPECTIN'
WITHOUT ONE.

RIGHT. WHO WOULD.

THIS HERE'LL SHOW YOU
WHERE TO FIND
ALL THEM MINERALS.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]

WELL, WELCOME BACK, GENTS.

SHALL I DO THE HONORS?

AIN'T NO CALL TO BE
TAKIN' THAT BOTTLE AWAY.

WELL, I WASN'T
TAKIN' IT AWAY,
MR. ARKANSAS.

I WAS JUST EXERCISING IT
FOR YOU.

I CAN DO THAT MYSELF.

YOU JUST BETTER
GET COMIN' OUT HERE

WITH SOME PLATES
HEAPED UP HIGH.

MAYBE WE'LL
JUST START WITH
THIS HERE MORSEL.

AAH!

I COULDA SPILLED MY DRINK!
DANG THING!

WELL, NOW YOU
SCARED HIM.

I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T
GONNA BRING THEM CRITTERS

IN HERE TO THE TABLE
NO MORE, SNOOD.

WHERE IS HE?

Arkansas: GOL' DERN VERMIN.

DID YOU SEE HIM, MISTER?

NO. AND I HOPE HE DIDN'T
SEE ME, EITHER.

FOUND HIM.
DON'T MOVE.

I DO BELIEVE HE LIKES YOU.

IF YOU CAN'T CONTROL
THAT CRITTER,

MAYBE I'LL HAVE TO SHOW HIM
THE BOTTOM OF MY BOOT.

NOW, HE DIDN'T
DO ANY HARM.

I'LL GO PUT HIM UP.

LOOKS LIKE YOU SAILORS
ARE HAVIN' TROUBLE
GETTIN' ALONG AGAIN.

CAPTAIN.
YOUNG FELLA
OVER THERE...

[CONTINUES
IN A WHISPER]

I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE
GONNA GO HUNTING
FOR MINERALS.

I MIGHT.

YOU'RE GONNA NEED
A GRUBSTAKE.

NATURALLY.

IF YOU CAN BELAY THAT
A WHILE,

I MIGHT BE ABLE
TO GET YOU A BERTH
ON MY SURVEY CREW HERE.

WHAT EXACTLY WOULD I DO?

WE'RE SEARCHING OUT A ROUTE
FOR THE RAILROAD.

PLOTTING ELEVATIONS,
OBSTRUCTIONS, AND SO FORTH.

IT'S HONEST WORK
FOR A DECENT WAGE.

YOU MEAN A PAYING JOB?

THE TRUTH IS, I LOST A MAN
A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO.

I COULD USE A REPLACEMENT.

HOW EXACTLY
DID YOU LOSE HIM?

WELL, LET'S JUST SAY
HE GOT LOST.

YOU WANT THE POSITION?

WELL, I COULD SURE
USE SOME MONEY.

WELCOME ABOARD.

YOU START IN THE MORNING.
6 BELLS.

WELL, BOYS,

LOOKS LIKE WE GOT
OURSELVES A NEW HAND.

WHAT THEY CALL YOU?

SAM CLEMENS.

WELL, SAM CLEMENS,
YOU MIGHT WANT TO JOIN US

IN A FRIENDLY
LITTLE GAME OF POKER

WE GOT GOIN' ON
AROUND HERE MOST NIGHTS.

I DON'T KNOW.
I'M A LITTLE SHORT
ON FUNDS.

YOU AIN'T GOTTA PLAY
IF YOU DON'T WANT
TO.

YOU CAN INVITE YOURSELF
OUT, HIGBIE,

IF'N YOU DON'T WANT TO.

WELL, THAT'S JUST
WHAT I'LL DO.

WELL, NOW YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO PLAY, FRIEND.

WE NEED A FOURTH.

WELL, LIKE I SAID,
I'M A LITTLE LOW
ON FUNDS.

WE MAY BE WILLIN'
TO LET YOU PLAY

WITH THE WAGES
YOU'RE GONNA BE EARNIN'.

IT'S JUST
A FRIENDLY GAME.

[TAPPING ON TABLE]

I CALL.

DON'T CROWD ME,
CECIL!

I AIN'T ANYWHERE
NEAR YOU.

DON'T TELL ME
WHERE YOU ARE.

I CAN SEE YOU.

AND I SAID
DON'T CROWD A MAN.

ARE YOU GONNA
DO SOMETHIN' OR NOT?

I'LL CALL.

[ARKANSAS GROANS]

LOOKS LIKE
IT'S MINE AGAIN.

LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE
GOT A REAL TALENT
FOR THE GAME.

AT LEAST HE'S GOT
THE GUTS TO PLAY.

BOYS,
DON'T MATTER TO ME

WHAT YOU DO
ON YOUR EVENINGS,

BUT I'M EXPECTING
EVERY MAN JACK OF YOU

ON DECK AT SUNUP,

READY TO HEAVE-HO.

I'VE BEEN
CHEATED ENOUGH
FOR ONE NIGHT.

NOBODY'S CHEATIN' YOU.

AND NOBODY BETTER NEVER,
NEITHER.

AIN'T YOU SEEN
THE COLLECTION YET?

THEY SLEEP IN HERE?

SURE DO.

DOES THAT
BOTHER YOU?

ONLY IF I WANT
TO GET ANY SLEEP.

AIN'T NOTHIN' I HATE
MORE'N THEM THINGS...

'CEPT LOSIN' AT POKER.

MAYBE I'LL JUST
SLEEP OUTSIDE.

CAN DO,
IF YOU'VE A MIND,

BUT AT LEAST
IN HERE,

THE CRITTERS
ARE IN JARS.

[COYOTE HOWLS]

[SNORING]

[ARKANSAS GROANS]

WHOA!

AAH!

AAH! AAH! AAH!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

[PANICKED CRIES]

Arkansas: AAH! DAMN!

[FURNITURE CRASHING]
[GLASS BREAKING]

GET THE--

GET IT--
GET IT AWAY!

Johnson:
WHAT'S ALL THE RUCKUS?

WHO STARTED
THIS FLAP?

THEM DANG-BLAM
TARANTULAS!

THEY'VE ALL DISAPPEARED.

GET THE PLACE
SHIPSHAPE.

CLEAR THE YARDARMS
AND BE IN THE LAUNCH
AT SUNUP.

CECIL, YOU'RE ROWIN'
WITH ME TODAY.

AND, ARKANSAS,
LIKEWISE.

SAM, YOU AND SNOOD
SHIP WITH HIGBIE,

AND TRIANGULATE
NOR'EASTERLY

FROM THAT DRAW
OVER THERE.

SNOOD,
TAKE THE ROD.

COME ON, SAM.

IT LOOKED LIKE
YOU WERE A LITTLE

AHEAD OF THEM
LAST NIGHT.

GOT A LITTLE LUCKY.

YEAH. I'LL TAKE LUCK
DAY OR NIGHT.

HERE WE GO.

SO, YOU'RE THINKIN'
OF GOIN' PROSPECTIN'
FOR MINERALS.

I THOUGHT I MIGHT
TRY MY HAND AT IT.

YEAH? YOU WANNA
GRAB THE LOG BOOK

OUTTA THAT BAG THERE?

WITH YOUR LUCK,
YOU JUST MIGHT
HAVE A CHANCE.

OF COURSE, THERE IS
SOME WORK TO IT, TOO,

AND YOU CAN'T
EVEN GET STARTED

UNLESS YOU GOT
A GRUBSTAKE.

DON'T I KNOW IT.

YEP.

YOU MIND
IF I ASK YOU
A QUESTION?

I DON'T MIND AT ALL.

WHAT'S A GRUBSTAKE?

[CLEARS THROAT]
WELL, THAT'S A--

THAT'S A PILE OF MONEY
YOU NEED

TO GET THE EQUIPMENT
AND VITTLES

SO AS YOU CAN GET UP INTO
THE GOLD AND SILVER COUNTRY

AND LIVE TILL YOU CAN
STRIKE YOUR CLAIM.

HOW MUCH DO YOU NEED?

CAN'T GET AWAY
UNLESS YOU GOT $200.

$200?

IT'S GONNA TAKE ME
A LONG TIME

WORKIN' THIS JOB
AT A DOLLAR
AND A HALF A DAY

TO GET UP TO $200.

YEAH, I SHOULD KNOW.

I'VE BEEN DOIN' IT
FOR A YEAR, AND I
AIN'T GOT THERE YET.

ARE YOU
A PROSPECTOR?

OH, NOTHIN' BUT.

WELL, WHERE HAVE
YOU PROSPECTED?

WELL, I'VE BEEN
ALL OVER HELL AND GONE.

I CAME OUT
FOR THE TAIL END
OF THE SUTTER STRIKE,

FOUND ENOUGH
TO KEEP ME GOIN',

THEN I RAN OUT
OF THE ONE THING
I NEEDED TO CONTINUE.

WHAT'S THAT?

LUCK.
I RAN OUT OF LUCK.

CAN YOU WRITE?

YEAH.

WRITE DOWN 42 DEGREES.

NOW, A FELLA
WITH YOUR LUCK

MIGHT BE ABLE
TO WIN HIMSELF
A GRUBSTAKE

IN JUST A LITTLE WHILE

PLAYIN' POKER
WITH THE BOYS.

THEY HAVE
THAT MUCH MONEY?

ARKANSAS DOES.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

'CAUSE A BUNCH
OF IT'S MINE.

HERE'S THE THING
ABOUT ARKANSAS.

HE'S GOT WHAT THEY CALL
AN OBSESSION.

YOU MEAN HE'S DANGEROUS?

WELL, YOU NOTICE
HOW THE CAPTAIN

ALWAYS TAKES HIM
ALONG WITH HIM?

YEAH.

WELL, THAT'S 'CAUSE
THAT LOST MAN

HE WAS TELLIN' YOU ABOUT--

LAST TIME HE WAS SEEN
WAS WITH ARKANSAS,

HEADIN' UP OVER HILL
TO TRIANGULATE.

HE KILLED HIM?

HE SAYS NO.
FELLER JUST WALKED OFF.

BUT, WELL,
WE DID NOTICE

ARKANSAS HAD A BIGGER
STAKE THAN USUAL

TO PLAY WITH THAT NIGHT.

WELL, I'M NOT GONNA
STAY IN THE GAME
IF HE'S GONNA KILL ME

THE FIRST CHANCE
HE GETS.

HOW YOU GONNA GET
THAT GRUBSTAKE?

CAN'T I JUST GET AWAY
WITH WHAT I GOT?

IT AIN'T SMART
TO GO UP THERE
UNPREPARED.

TAKES $200.

NOW, I KNOW
WHERE I'D GO

IF I HAD
THE WHEREWITHAL.

OH, IT'D
TAKE SOME TIME
TO GET THERE,

BUT IF I DID,

I KNOW MY LUCK
WOULD COME BACK.

THERE AIN'T A DAY
I DON'T WAKE UP
THINKIN' ABOUT IT.

IT'S MY DESTINY.
I KNOW IT.

I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING,
HIGBIE,

FOR A MAN TO REALLY FEEL
THE DESTINY INSIDE HIM--

TO KNOW HIMSELF,
LIKE YOU DO--

THAT'S THE REAL LUCK.

YEAH, WELL,
THAT KIND OF LUCK
AIN'T WORTH NOTHIN'

WITHOUT THE KIND
THAT GETS YOU WINNIN'
AT CARDS OR SOMETHIN'.

THE KIND THAT YOU GOT.

MAYBE WE COULD
JOIN OUR LUCK.

HOW?

WHY DON'T YOU THROW IN
WITH ME?

I'D BE HAPPY TO.

GOOD.
HOW MUCH YOU GOT?

INCLUDING
THIS WEEK'S WAGES,

I GOT $14.

YEAH. I TOLD YOU.

HAVIN' A STREAK
OF BAD LUCK.

IT'S WHY I AIN'T
IN THE GAME NO MORE.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT,
HERE'S A PLAN.

AFTER I WIN $97 MORE
AND GET MY GRUBSTAKE,

WE'LL THROW IN TOGETHER.

I'LL BUY US
EVERYTHING WE NEED,

AND YOU CAN LEAD US
TO WHERE YOU KNOW
THE MINERALS ARE.

WE'LL BOTH GET RICH.

SAM, I KNEW
YOU HAD GREATNESS IN YOU

THE MOMENT
I LAID EYES ON YOU.

YOU GOT THE DESTINY,
TOO.

I GUARANTEE IT--

YOU'RE GONNA BE
A MILLIONAIRE.

NOW, I MAY NOT HAVE
THE CARD LUCK RIGHT NOW,

BUT I GOT THE INSTINCT,
ALWAYS!

AND I KNOW,
SOONER OR LATER,

YOU ARE GONNA BE RICH.

HIGBIE, WE'RE GONNA
TAKE THIS MONEY,

AND WE'RE GONNA--

I GOT LESS THAN HALF
OF WHAT I WON.

I'LL BET YOU
THAT ARKANSAS
PICKED YOUR POCKET

WHEN WE WAS CLEANIN' UP
AFTER THE TARANTULAS.

NOW, DON'T GO DOIN'
NOTHIN' STUPID.

THERE AIN'T NO LAW
OR NO COURT OUT HERE.

ARKANSAS'S
USED TO KILLIN',
AND YOU AIN'T.

WELL, I CAN'T JUST
LET HIM GET AWAY WITH IT.

THEN WIN IT BACK
AT THE TABLE.

JUST REMEMBER ONE THING.

KNOW WHEN TO QUIT.

[WIND WHISTLING]

[THUNDER]

DEAL.

GOT SOMETHIN' STUCK
IN YOUR CRAW?

IF WE AIN'T GONNA PLAY,
I'M GOIN' TO BED.

WE'RE PLAYIN'!

DEAL.

YOU READY TO LOSE?

[THUNDER]

[GRIDDLE HISSING]

THERE MUST BE $50
IN THAT ONE POT.

STAY OUTTA THE GAME
IF YOU AIN'T PLAYIN'.

I'D SAY THERE'S 50,
ANYWAY.

DON'T COUNT THE POT
TILL YOU GOT IT WON.

LET'S SEE WHAT WE SEE.

CALL.

LOOKS LIKE THE LUCK'S
MINE TONIGHT.

HOW MUCH YOU GOT THERE,
SAM, ALL TOGETHER?

BRINGS ME UP TO
ABOUT 210, ALL TOLD.

WELL, THAT'S GOT
A NICE RING TO IT.

$200.

A LOT OF PEOPLE
WOULD LIKE TO GET
OUT OF THE GAME

WHEN THEY REACH
A FIGURE LIKE THAT.

I BELIEVE THAT'S
JUST WHAT I'LL DO.

I BELIEVE YOU AIN'T.

NOBODY'S
WALKIN' OUTTA HERE

WITH A PILE THAT HIGH
OF MY MONEY.

NOW, DEAL!

THE SKY IS FALLIN'
OUT THERE TONIGHT!

WE'RE MOVIN' THE LIVESTOCK
TO HIGHER GROUND.

CAPTAIN,
BEST LOOK TO YOUR KIT.

COMIN' NOW.

HURRY. THE RIVER'S
FILLIN' UP.

IT'S GONNA OVERFLOW
A HEAP

IF IT KEEPS UP
LIKE THIS. COME ON.

I'M GOIN' TO PACK.

I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

NO, YOU AIN'T.

YOU'RE GONNA SIT
RIGHT THERE.

I'D BETTER GO SEE
IF THE CAPTAIN NEEDS
ANY HELP.

HE DON'T! SIT DOWN!

NOBODY LEAVES
TILL I WIN MY MONEY BACK.

AND WE'RE GONNA USE
A NEW DECK, TOO.

I WANNA MAKE SURE
I AIN'T GETTIN' CHEATED.

[THUNDER]

Arkansas: POWERFUL
GOOD HAND, SAM,

BUT IT AIN'T
GOOD ENOUGH.

I'M GETTIN' KINDA TIRED,
ARKANSAS.

UNLESS YOU'RE
TIRED OF LIVIN',
YOU KEEP PLAYIN'.

Snood: THE WATER'S
GONNA FLOOD US OUT.

COME ON, SAM.
YOU'RE DONE
WITH THIS GAME.

HE AIN'T DONE
TILL I SAY HE'S DONE.

HE'S DONE
IF HE WANTS TO BE.

THANKS, HIGBIE,
BUT I BETTER STAY
IN THE GAME.

MY LUCK'S HAD
A LITTLE HICCUP.

WE STILL GOT THE 200?

I'M AFRAID HE AIN'T.

AND I'M AFRAID HE AIN'T
GONNA GET A CHANCE

TO WIN IT BACK...

UNLESS HE KEEPS ON
PLAYIN'.

I'M IN.

SAM! THEM CARDS
ARE MARKED!

WHAT?

YOU CALLIN' ME
A CHEATER?

IF YOU AIN'T...

YOU SWITCH BACK
TO THAT OTHER DECK.

SURE. WHY NOT?

WE'RE GONNA DROWN
IN HERE SOON.

[FROG RIBBITS]

I'M PLAYIN'.

Higbie:
ALL RIGHT, THEN...

JUST WANT TO KEEP
THE ODDS EVEN.

I'M GOIN' TO FIND
THE CAPTAIN.

I'M COMIN'
WITH YOU.

ME, TOO.

LET'S PLAY.

5-CARD STUD.
ROLL YOUR OWN.

EASY, BOY.
EASY, BOY!

A GET TO
THE HIGHER GROUND.

COME ON, HORSE.

Sam: DRAW.

WELL, THAT'S
QUITE PROMISING.

IT'S WORTH 10 BUCKS.

I'LL SEE THAT 10.

GIVE THE ORDER
TO ABANDON SHIP!

SAM IS STILL IN THERE.

CALL.

THAT QUEEN OF CLUBS
AIN'T GONNA HELP
YOUR HAND.

I'LL STAKE $20
ON MY PAIR OF 7s.

THERE'S STILL
ANOTHER CARD
LEFT TO COME.

HEY!

ARE YOU BOYS CRAZY?

QUIT THAT GAME.
GET YOURSELVES
TO HIGH GROUND.

Higbie: COME ON, SAM.
IT'S A FLASH FLOOD.

IT AIN'T WORTH IT.

GET YOURSELF OUT OF HERE
BEFORE YOU DROWN.

CECIL AND SNOOD
ARE ALREADY UP
ON THE RIDGE.

YOU GOT IT
AS BAD AS HIM.

IT'S EVERY MAN
FOR HIMSELF.

I'M CLIMBIN'
FOR THE POOP DECK.

MY PAIR'S STILL WINNIN'.

I'M ALL IN.

ANOTHER CARD
LEFT TO DRAW.

LET'S SEE MY CARD.

PAIR OF QUEENS.

BEATS YOUR 7s.

NO!

AAH! AAH!

Higbie:
SHE'S GIVING WAY!

SAM!

SAM!

DAMN IT, SAM.

SAM!

HIGBIE?

SAM!

OVER HERE
AND REACH FOR ME.

HIGBIE.

COME ON. HERE.

A LITTLE MORE.

ALL RIGHT,
I GOT YOU.

Twain: I'D BEEN LUCKY.

MORE THAN THE CARDS,

I'D BEEN LUCKY ENOUGH
TO SURVIVE SOMETHING
MORE DEADLY

THAN ARKANSAS
OR THE STORM.

I HAD SURVIVED
AN OBSESSION--

THAT PECULIAR KIND OF VISION
THAT'S SO STRONG

IT BLINDS YOU
TO ANYTHING ELSE--

TO REASON, TO SAFETY,

TO EVERYTHING.

I GOT THE GRUBSTAKE!
HA HA HA.

YOU GOT THE MAKIN'S
OF A FIRST-RATE FOOL,
TOO!

WHOO!

HA HA HA!
WHOO-HOO!

OH! YES!

YEAH!

WHOA!

SO, HIGBIE CONGRATULATED ME
THAT NIGHT

FOR LIVING THROUGH
THE DARK MOMENTS
OF OBSESSION

AND COMING OUT WHOLE
ON THE OTHER SIDE.

WE NEVER KNEW WHAT HAPPENED
TO ARKANSAS,

BUT LATER
I HEARD A STORY

THAT A SEA CAPTAIN
HAD MANAGED TO SAIL
AN ENTIRE HOTEL

DOWN THE CARSON RIVER
TO THE COLORADO

AND INTO THE SEA OF CORTEZ,

WHERE HE PUT IT TO SHORE
ON THE BEACH

AT A PLACE CALLED MAZATLAN.

HE MADE HIMSELF PROPRIETOR
OF THE PLACE

AND FIGURED A NICE LIVING
THEREAFTER.

HIGBIE AND I WERE ANXIOUS
TO GET UP TO WHERE OUR SHARE

OF THE GOLD AND SILVER
NUGGETS WERE.

I WAS CONVINCED
THAT FOR A LUCKY MAN LIKE ME,

THEY HAD WAITED PATIENTLY
THROUGH THE AGES

TO BE GATHERED LIKE EGGS
FROM THE HEN.

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

Twain: BUT FIRST, WE HAD
TO GET OUR PROVISIONS.

WELL, WE GOT THOSE,
AND SOMETHING EXTRA,

IN THE TOWN OF LEE VINING.

HEY!

HERE YOU GO.

[CHILDREN LAUGH]

WELL, THINK ON IT AGAIN

WHEN YOU SOME GOLD DUST
OR SILVER OR SOMETHIN'.

NOW, YOU'VE MADE
A MISENUNCIATION

IF YOU'RE THINKIN'
THAT I CAN'T PAY
FOR THE DRINK I DRUNK.

WELL, THEN,
PAY UP.

IT'S ONLY A MATTER
OF TIMIN'.

I SAID PAY ME NOW.

WELL, THAT'S THE TIMIN'
I SPOKE OF.

PAY YOU, I'M GONNA.
BUT RIGHT NOW I CAN'T.

OH!

MR. BALLOU?
IS THAT YOU?

HIGBIE?

HIGBIE?
YEAH.

Twain: SEEMS THAT HIGBIE
AND MR. BALLOU

WERE OLD COMPATRIOTS.

THEY HAD WORKED
THE SUCH-AND-SUCH MINE

AND THE WHICH-AND-WHEREFORE
MINE, TOO.

THERE COULD BE
ONLY ONE WORD

FOR THIS KIND
OF CHANCE REACQUAINTANCE,

AND THAT WORD WAS LUCK.

Twain: HIGBIE,
HAVING TAKEN THEIR REUNION

AS A SIGN
THAT OUR ENTERPRISE

HAD BEEN BLESSED
WITH GREAT FORTUNE,

IMMEDIATELY DECIDED

MR. BALLOU SHOULD
JOIN THE EXPEDITION.

HELLO.

HEY.

OH, UH,
I'LL TAKE A PAPER.

Twain: WE BOUGHT
EVERYTHING WE NEEDED
INCLUDING HORSES,

THOUGH MR. BALLOU SAID
HE HAD HIS OWN CONTRIVANCE.

I BELIEVE MR. BALLOU
MEANT CONVEYANCE.

NOW, IT MIGHT BE
MENTIONED HERE

THAT MR. BALLOU
HAD COME LATE IN LIFE

TO READING AND WRITING

AND SO DELIGHTED
IN USING LARGE WORDS,

MORE FOR
THEIR PARTICULAR SOUND

THAN ANY PARTICULAR MEANING,

WHICH MATTERED LITTLE
TO HIM.

HIGBIE, WE MIGHT
WANT TO NOSE UP

TOWARDS ANGEL'S CAMP.

THERE'S GROUND
OF GREAT INFECTION
UP THAT-A-WAYS.

INFECTION?

INFECTION OR DETECTION.

IT'S THE MINEROSITY
I'M TALKIN' OF.

Twain: HIGBIE'S
PREVIOUS ASSOCIATION

WITH MR. BALLOU,

HAD EVIDENTLY UNLOCKED
THE SECRET

OF THE OLD MAN'S SPEECH.

ANGEL'S CAMP'S
PLAYED OUT,

BUT I KNOW WHERE
GOD'S PLANTED

A WHOLE MESS
OF MINERALS.

I GOT AN INSTINCT
FOR IT.

THERE'S A--

THERE'S AN INN
UP YONDER.

PUT IN FOR THE NIGHT.

SLEEP IN A REAL BED
SOUNDS GOOD.

HORSES MIGHT
USE A REST, TOO.

[BALLOU, HIGBIE LAUGH]

WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

THESE HERE
ARE TRAIL HORSES.

HARDIEST, MOST
SURE-FOOTED BEASTS
IN CREATION.

OF COURSE,
NONE OF THEM HORSES

COULD STAND
IN THE SAME BARN
WITH MY MULE.

EUGENE HERE CAN PRETTY WELL
TAKE HIMSELF TO ANYWHERE

SHORT OF CLIMBIN'
UP A TREE.

NOW, I AIN'T SAYIN'
HE CAN'T, MIND YOU.

JUST AIN'T NEVER
ASKED HIM TO DO IT
AS YET. THAT'S ALL.

[LAUGHTER]

HOW'S EUGENE
AT SWIMMING?

OH, THIS STREAM
DON'T LOOK

ALL THAT DEEP
TO ME.

WE CAN GET 'EM
ACROSS IT.

EUGENE CAN,
BUT I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THEM NAGS

YOU ALL ARE RIDIN'.

AW, THIS AIN'T NOTHIN'.

HYAH!
HYAH!

COME ON.

GET ON IN THERE.

YAH! COME ON!

YAH. GET IN THERE!

AAH!

[STARTLED WHINNY]

AAH!

WHERE'S MR. BALLOU?

MR. BALLOU!
MR. BALLOU!

BALLOU!

BALLOU!
BALLOU!

OH, THERE HE IS.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT,
MR. BALLOU?

I AIN'T NEVER BEEN ONE
FOR BATHIN'.

WHERE'S THE HORSES?

I DON'T KNOW.

LET'S GET HIM
OUTTA HERE.

COME ON.
UH-UH.

COME ON!

COME ON. COME ON.
UH-UH. UH-UH!

I AIN'T GOIN'.

COME ON!
WE HAVE YOU.

WE GOT ALL
THE GRUB HERE.

WELL, HALF OF IT,
ANYWAY.

SHY A LITTLE
EQUIPMENT, BUT...

WE'RE NOT TOO BAD
OFF, ALL IN ALL.

NOT TOO BAD OFF?

MOST OF
THE GRUBSTAKE'S GONE,

AND WHAT'S LEFT IS
PROBABLY RUINED.

YOU GOT EXPECT
A LITTLE ADVENTURE

ON A TRIP LIKE THIS.
NOTHING HAPPENED

TO GO GETTING
SO UPSET ABOUT.

WE ALL ALMOST DROWNED!

WELL, EXCEPT
FOR THAT.

JUST A LITTLE
COMPILATION, THAT'S ALL.

AIN'T NO POINT
IN GOING BACK,

IF THAT'S WHAT
YOU'RE GETTING AT.

NONE AT ALL.
FIRST OF ALL,

THE GRUBSTAKE'S
ALL SPENT ALREADY,

SO IT'S NOT LIKE
WE CAN GO BACK

AND GET MORE
PROVISIONS.

NOW THAT FACT IS

THAT INN IS
JUST UP YONDER.

YOU SAID THAT
BACK YONDER.

WELL, MY INSTINCT
AIN'T CHANGED.

WE'RE JUST
A LITTLE FURTHER

DOWNSTREAM BECAUSE
OF THAT DOWSING.

BUT, SAM...

IT'S YOUR GRUBSTAKE
THAT WE'RE DRAWING ON,

SO IF YOU WANT
TO GO BACK,

THAT'S WHAT WE'LL DO.

YOU SAY THAT INN'S
JUST UP THERE A BIT?

AIN'T NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

DOWN THAT PATH DIRECTLY.

DON'T RECALL
NO PARTICIPATION

SO LATE OF THE SEASON.

FUNNY HOW EVERYTHING
LOOKS THE SAME
IN THIS SNOW.

AIN'T NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT.
WE'RE DOING ALL RIGHT.

WHO SAID ANYTHING
ABOUT BEING WORRIED?

I WAS A-GONNA
IF YOU WEREN'T.

YOU WERE?

I AM.

YOU'RE WORRIED?

YOU AIN'T?

OH, FELLAS,
WHERE'S YOUR FAITH?

WHEN DID I EVER
LEAD YOU DOWN
THE WRONG ROAD?

AT THE STREAM
YOU SAID WE COULD
JUST WALK ACROSS.

EXCEPT FOR THAT.

ALL RIGHT, MR. BALLOU,
WHEN HAVE I EVER

GIVEN YOU BAD ADVICE?

UP THERE
AT COARSE GOLD.

NOW I DO SEEM TO RECALL
A LITTLE MISHAP.

I NEVER TOOK YOU
FOR ONE TO HOLD A GRUDGE.

WEREN'T YOUR DOG.

[CLEARING THROAT]

ALL RIGHT, FELLERS.

MY INSTINCT IS
TELLING ME THAT

THAT INN IS UP YONDER,

BUT IF EITHER OF YOU
GOT A BETTER ROAD,

OUT WITH IT.

LET'S GET
ON WITH IT, THEN.

YEP. THOSE ARE TRACKS,
FRESH ONE.

THAT MEANS
WE'RE ON THE PATH?

YEP.

WHOA.

CAN'T BE MUCH FURTHER.

TRACKS LOOK FRESH?

YEP. THERE'S TWICE
AS MANY NOW.

MUST BE THE WHOLE
MILITIA HERE
FOR A RHEUMATISM.

A WHAT?

LET'S GET.

BY GOD, THESE TRACKS
HAVE MULTIPLIED.

THINK WE'RE CLOSE?

FELLERS, AFRAID I AIN'T
GOT GOOD NEWS.

THESE AIN'T THE TRACKS
OF NO MILITIA REGIMENT.

INJUNS?

NO, IT AIN'T INDIANS.

WELL, WHAT?

WELL, THESE ARE THE TRACKS
OF OUR HORSES.

WE'VE BEEN GOING AROUND
IN A BIG CIRCLE
ALL AFTERNOON.

WE'VE BEEN FOLLOWING
OUR OWN TRACKS?

YEP. OF COURSE,
WE'VE BEEN DOING

A PRETTY GOOD JOB
OF THAT.

NOW AIN'T THAT JUST
A PERFECT LOGARITHM.

WE'RE LOST?

LOST? NO.

WE AIN'T LOST.

I THINK THE INN IS,
UH, THAT WAY.

OR THAT WAY.

MAYBE. A-WAYS.

I GUESS MY INSTINCT
AIN'T WORKING PROPERLY.

MUST BE THE SNOW.

BETTER KEEP MOVING.

LET'S GO. COME ON.

[CLICKS TONGUE]

FELLAS...

AIN'T NO USE
GOING ON LIKE THIS.

MIGHT AS WELL
MAKE CAMP RIGHT HERE.

ALL RIGHT.

GO START A FIRE.

THE MATCHES!
THEY MUST'VE BEEN

IN ONE OF THE PACKS
THAT WENT DOWNSTREAM.

CHECK ALL
THE OTHER POUCHES.

NO LUCK.

I AIN'T NEVER
DONE IT,

BUT SOME FELLAS
TOLD ME YOU COULD
START A FIRE

WITH A SPARK
OF A REVOLVER.

HOW DO YOU DO THAT?

Higbie: THIS IS THE LAST
OF THE DRY POWDER, BOYS.

PUT IN A FULL LOAD.

YEAH.

NOW GET RIGHT DOWN
NEXT TO THE KINDLING

AND PULL THE TRIGGER,

AND MAKE SURE YOU
DO IT DETECTABLE.

HUNKER DOWN AROUND, BOYS,
KEEP THIS WIND OUT OF HERE.

DON'T SHOOT NOBODY.

[WILD NEIGHING AND BRAYING]

[GALLOPING HOOFBEATS]

NEVER FIGURED THAT EUGENE
FOR A RUNNER.

NOW WHAT?

WE BETTER KEEP MOVING.

HIGBIE,
MR. BALLOU, LOOK!

I FOUND THEM IN A HOLE

IN THE LINING
OF MY POCKET.

[BALLOU LAUGHS]

PRETTIEST THINGS
I'VE EVER SEEN.

HALLELUJAH!

ALL RIGHT,
WE'VE GOT 3 MATCHES.

WE EACH GET
ONE TRY.

MR. BALLOU,
YOU GO FIRST.

SULFERATION.

[MATCH FLARES]

AAH! OW!

DARN!

GO ON, HIGBIE.

WE'LL GET IT.

OH, BLAST!

ALL RIGHT, SAM.
YOU'RE OUR LAST HOPE.

I'VE ALWAYS
BEEN LUCKY.

IT'S WORKING!

IT'S WORKING.

[ALL LAUGH]

UGH!
NO!
ARGH!

BOYS...

THIS IS HERE
IS THE DARNDEST
CIRCUMBENDIBUS

I'VE EVER DID SEE.

I LIKE TO LOOK
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE,

BUT IT SEEMS
WE'RE DONE FOR.

WE'RE GONNA FREEZE.

WE'RE GONNA DIE...

RIGHT HERE
IN THIS STORM.

TRUE IS TRUE.

[WIND HOWLS]

Higbie: THEY SAY
IT DON'T FEEL LIKE NOTHIN'.

WHAT DON'T?

DYING BY FREEZING.

YOU JUST GO TO SLEEP,

AND WHEN YOU WAKE UP,
YOU'RE DEAD.

I'D BE HAPPY
TO GO TO SLEEP.

IT'S ALL
THIS SHIVERING

THAT'S KEEPING
ME AWAKE.

I'M A MAN WHO...

TAKES RESPONSIBILITY
FOR WHEN HE'S WRONG...

AND I GOTTA ADMIT,
THIS TIME, I WAS WRONG.

I'VE KILLED US, FELLERS.

I THINK IT WOULD BE WISE
IF WE GOT OUR SOULS READY

TO MEET OUR MAKER.

LORD, I RENOUNCE THIS VICE
OF THE DEMON WHISKEY.

EVEN THOUGH I COULD SURE
USE A GOOD KICK OF THIS
RIGHT NOW,

I AIN'T GONNA HAVE NONE.

WELL, IF YOU AIN'T,
I MIGHT.

'CAUSE I, UH,
WANT YOU TO KNOW, LORD,

THAT... EVEN IF I AIN'T LIVED
SUCH A PERFECT LIFE, THAT,

WELL, IF I LIVE THROUGH THIS
AND DON'T GET FROZE,

I'M GONNA GO
A WHOLE BETTER ROAD

IF I GET MORE LIFE TO LIVE.

AND JUST TO SHOW YOU
I MEAN BUSINESS...

I'M DONE WITH LIQUOR
FOR GOOD.

AND IF YOU TAKE ME, LORD,
I'M COMIN' TO YOU STONE SOBER

WITH A CLEAR CONSCIENCE.

EXCEPT FOR THAT I'M SORRY

I BROUGHT THESE OTHER
2 FELLERS HERE WITH ME.

EITHER OF YOU BOYS
GOT ANYTHING YOU WANT
TO GET OFF YOUR CHEST?

I'M BEGINNING TO FEEL
A BIT OF A CHILL.

YOU THINK CARD PLAYING
IS A SIN?

WELL, THE WAY YOU DO IT.

THESE THE ONLY THINGS
KEEPIN' ME WARM.

WELL, IT'S YOUR SOUL.

LORD, IF ME PARTIN'
WITH THESE OLD FRIENDS
MEANS ANYTHING TO YOU

ABOUT HOW I'D RATHER
BE UP THERE WITH YOU

THAN BURNIN' IN HELL...

THOUGH THE HEAT OF DAMNATION
DON'T SEEM SO HARSH

WHEN ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT
IS GETTING WARM.

WELL, THEN,
I'M THINKING MAYBE

I CAN DO WITHOUT THEM
ON MY PARSIMONY.

OF COURSE I CAN'T PICTURE
NO HEAVEN WITHOUT 'EM, BUT...

SAM?

GOT ANYTHING
YOU WANT TO CONFESS?

WELL, I'M YOUNG.

I HAVEN'T HAD
ALL THE CHANCES TO SIN

LIKE YOU BOYS HAVE.

I MIGHT SAY I'M SORRY
I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE

TO PAY ORION BACK
THE MONEY HE LAID OUT
FOR THE STAGECOACH,

WHICH I WAS GONNA DO
WHEN WE STRUCK RICH.

AW, HE'LL FORGET ALL ABOUT IT
ONCE THEY FIND US FROZE.

YOU DON'T KNOW HIM.

I'D ALSO
LIKE TO SAY THAT...

THOUGH I NEVER MET
THE LORD, MYSELF--

NOT DIRECTLY--

I HEAR WONDERFUL NEWS
ABOUT HIM FROM MY MOTHER

WHO SEEMS TO BE
QUITE CLOSE TO HIM,

TALKING TO HIM
ALL THE TIME...

MOSTLY ABOUT ME.

AND THAT
MY SMOKING WAS JUST
PART OF THE MISCHIEF

THAT CAUSED
HER HEARTACHE.

I'M TRULY SORRY...

I NEVER AMOUNTED
TO ANYTHING...

LIKE SHE WANTED.

SO, MAMA,
I JUST WANT
YOU TO KNOW,

THAT I'VE QUIT
THE EVIL WEED
FOR GOOD.

HIGBIE?

I WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT I DON'T HOLD YOU

ALTOGETHER RESPONSIBLE
FOR LEADING US
INTO THIS MESS.

I APPRECIATE THAT, SAM.

MEANS A LOT TO ME.

I AIN'T SO
QUIVICATIONAL.

I'M SORRY, MR. BALLOU.

I DIDN'T GET US KILLED
ON PURPOSE.

ALL RIGHT, THEN.

AS LONG AS YOU DON'T
DO IT AGAIN.

I STILL AIN'T
GONNA FORGIVE YA

FOR WHAT HAPPENED
TO MY DOG.

WELL, I'M SORRY
ABOUT THAT, TOO.

WELL...

BYE, MR. BALLOU.

GOOD-BYE, HIGBIE.

BYE, SAM.

BYE, MR. BALLOU.

BYE, SAM.

SEE YA OVER YONDER.

SO LONG,
HIGBIE.

HIGBIE?

MR. BALLOU?

[GRUNTS]

SAM.

ARE WE ALIVE?

I DON'T KNOW YET.

THIS COULD BE HEAVEN.

[SNIFFS]

WHAT IS THAT?

THAT'S BACON.

NO. IT CAN'T BE.

[SNIFFS]

THAT IS BACON.

HA HA!

HA HA HA HA HA!

SEE?

WE STOPPED
100 FEET SHORT IS ALL.

INSTINCT.

Twain: IT WAS TRUE.

THERE IN THE DAWN
WE SAW THAT THAT INN

WAS NO MORE THAN
15 YARDS AWAY.

AND THE STORM
HAD BEEN A FREAK FALL.

THE SNOW HAD GONE
JUST AS FAST
AS IT HAD COME IN.

EUGENE, THAT WAS
A DERN FOUL TRICK.

[BRAYING]

[HUMS]

MMM.

WE FIGURED THE OWNERS
OF THOSE HORSES

MUST HAVE BEEN
LOST IN THE STORM.

WELL, WE THOUGHT
WE WERE DEAD.

AND THEN WE FIGURED
WE WERE ALIVE,

BUT NOW THAT WE'RE HERE,

I THINK MAYBE WE WENT
TO HEAVEN AFTER ALL.

Y'ALL GONNA STAY A WHILE?

HEAVEN GOES ON
FOR ETERNITY.

HA HA HA HA HA.

I AIN'T NEVER SEEN SNOW
SO COMPULSORY.

I AIN'T NEVER
SEEN YOU SO SCARED.

ME? THAT'S THE FIRST TIME

I SEEN YOU THROW WHISKEY
THAT DIRECTION.

HELL, THE LORD
MUST HAVE HEARD US.

STAYING HUDDLED
TOGETHER MUST
HAVE HELPED.

IT USUALLY DOES.

WELL, I BETTER GO
CHECK ON THE HORSES.

WELL, I AIN'T DOIN'
NOTHIN' BUT BREATHE IN
AND BREATHE OUT.

[SIGHS]

THINK I'LL
GO LAY DOWN.

IF I'M GONNA LIVE,

I WANT TO BE
WELL-RESTED.

SOMETHING I CAN GET
FOR YOU?

UH, NO, NO.

I'M JUST LOOKING
FOR A PLACE TO NAP.

OH, WELL--
SHH.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

HA HA.

[SIGHS]

WELL, MAMA, IT SEEMS TO ME

THAT IF THE LORD LET ME
FIND MY PIPE IN ALL THIS,

WELL, THEN HE WOULDN'T MIND
IF I HAD A SMOKE.

[BRAYING]

SHH.

SAM!
HIGBIE!

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

ME? NOTHING.
DOIN' NOTHING.

ME, NEITHER.

WE BETTER MAKE SURE
MR. BALLOU DOESN'T
FIND OUT.

THE LORD MIGHT
FORGIVE US,

BUT HE NEVER WOULD.
RIGHT.

AMALGAMATION,
HIGBIE!

YOU RUINATED
MY HAND JUST
WHEN I WAS--

WINNING--
HA HA HA HA HA.

WINNING.

Twain:
THAT TELLS YOU A LITTLE
ABOUT PROMISES, I SUPPOSE.

TO PROMISE
NOT TO DO A THING

IS THE SUREST WAY
IN THE WORLD

TO MAKE A BODY
WANT TO GO OUT

AND DO THAT VERY THING.

I TELL YOU THIS STORY
BECAUSE, UH,

I THINK THERE'S
AN IMPORTANT QUESTION

BURIED IN ALL THAT SNOW,

AND IT'S MORE THAN JUST

BEING SURE YOU GOT
SOME DRY MATCHES

WHEN YOU GO OUT
INTO THE COLD.

AND THE QUESTION IS THIS:

WHEN IS ENOUGH?

WHEN HAVE YOU GONE TOO FAR?

AND WHEN HAVE YOU NOT GONE
FAR ENOUGH?

IT'S A HARD QUESTION.

EVERY ROAD YOU GO DOWN,
AT SOME POINT,

YOU'RE GOING TO SAY,
"IS THIS LEADING
TO MY DESTINATION,

OR AM I JUST
GETTING MORE LOST?"

WELL, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
TO FIND YOUR OWN ANSWER.

HIGBIE BELIEVED
IN HIS INSTINCT,

AND THAT'S MAYBE THE MOST
IMPORTANT THING OF ALL.

'CAUSE THOUGH IT ALMOST
GOT US KILLED,

IT DID ULTIMATELY
TURN OUT TO BE RIGHT.

IT GAVE US DIRECTION,

AND WITHOUT THAT,

YOU MIGHT NOT
START OUT AT ALL.

THOUGH YOU MIGHT BE
WONDERING IF WE EVER DID

GET TO THE BUSINESS
OF MINING,

AND I WANT TO
PUT YOUR MIND AT REST,

BECAUSE WE DID FINALLY
BEGIN OUR TREK IN EARNEST.

THANKFULLY, ORION GAVE US
ANOTHER GRUBSTAKE.

EUGENE, BLESS HIM,
HAD DECIDED AGAINST
THE TRIP.

WE HAD RE-OUTFITTED
OURSELVES HANDSOMELY.

THIS TIME, WE BOUGHT
OURSELVES A TEAM OF
"GUARANTEED" HORSES

FROM A RESPECTABLE
OUTFITTER.

WE FIGURED WE NEEDED SUCH

NOT SO MUCH TO HAUL
OUR PROVISIONS UP
THE MOUNTAIN,

AS TO HELP US TO HAUL
THOSE RICHES WE WERE
SURE TO FIND BACK DOWN.

SOON, IT WAS APPARENT
THAT THE "GUARANTEED" HORSES

HAD VERY LITTLE CONVICTION
FOR THE TRIP.

Higbie: YAH, YAH,
YAH, YAH, YAH!

AW, COME ON!
THAT'S IT! COME ON.

BUT WE WERE TOO FAR
FROM A TOWN TO TURN BACK

AND TOO CLOSE
TO OUR RICH FUTURES
TO WANT TO, ANYWAY.

WE KEPT ON.

[GRUNTING]

THEN WE FIGURED
TO SAVE TIME,

IT WOULD BE BEST
JUST TO RELIEVE THEM

OF ANY RESPONSIBILITY
IN THE ENDEAVOR.

WE MET SOME PEOPLE
WHILE THUSLY CONFIGURED.

ONE OF THEM SUGGESTED
THAT WE SHOULD PUT
THE HORSES IN THE WAGONS

SO THEY WOULDN'T
HAVE TO TAG ALONG,

BUT MR. BALLOU DECLINED
BASED ON HIS BELIEF THAT...

NO, SIR, I BELIEVE
THOSE HORSES MIGHT
NOT BE COMFORTABLE

IN SO SMALL A SPACE
WITH ALL THE OTHER
BAGGATATION

WE GOT IN THERE
ALREADY.

[LAUGHING]

Twain: SO WE WENT ON
AS WE WERE.

FINALLY, IT WAS DETERMINED
THAT WE HAD COME

TO THE RIGHT DESTINATION,

SO THERE IN THE CLEAR
MOUNTAIN AIR

WE SET UP CAMP.

MADE OURSELVES
RIGHT AT HOME.

NOW HIGBIE
AND MR. BALLOU,

BEING OLD HANDS
AT PROSPECTING,

IMMEDIATELY TOOK
THEIR PANS AND SLUICES

AND SET ABOUT THEIR TASK
WITH ADMIRABLE DILIGENCE.

ON THE OTHER HAND,
I HAD LONG ANTICIPATED

BEING ABLE TO JUST
PICK THE GOLD RIGHT UP
OFF THE GROUND.

SURE ENOUGH, THAT'S PRETTY
MUCH HOW I FOUND IT.

WHOO! WHOO!

WHOO! WE'RE RICH! GOLD!

I FOUND GOLD! WHOO!

COME HERE! LOOK AT THIS!

LOOK!

HA! WHOO!

I-I-IT WAS JUST
LYING THERE.

J-J-JUST LIKE THEY SAID.

I PICKED IT UP
JUST LIKE THEY SAID.

HEY!

HO HO HO.

THIS IS GOLD, ISN'T IT?

NO. THIS
HERE'S GOLD.

WHAT YOU FOUND
IS FOOL'S GOLD.

IRON PYRITE.
AIN'T WORTH NOTHIN'.

Higbie: PRETTY GOOD
PIECE OF THAT, THOUGH.

OH, YEAH.

REAL GOLD USUALLY TAKES
A MITE MORE WORK TO GET

OF NORMAL.

"IT WAS JUST LYING THERE
RIGHT ON THE GROUND."

"WE'RE RICH!"

"WHOO HOO HOO!"

HA HA HA HA HA.

Twain: FINDING GOLD
WAS GOING TO BE
A BIT MORE ELUSIVE

THAN I HAD PLANNED,

AND A BIT
MORE DANGEROUS, TOO.

HELLO!

HELLO.
GOOD DAY.

LORD HAVE MERCY.

I DID NOT EXPECT
TO SEE ANOTHER SOUL

UP IN THESE PARTS.

MY HORSE THREW ME
BACK A WAYS.

JUST ABLE TO GRAB
MY PACK BEFORE
SHE RAN CLEAN OFF.

YOU KNOW, IT'S A SHAME
DOGS AREN'T BIG ENOUGH
TO RIDE.

HA HA HA.
VERY TRUE.

IT'S A PLEASURE
TO MEET A MAN
OF WISDOM

IN THE WILDERNESS.

HELLO.

I HATE TO
ASK YOU THIS,

BUT I HAVEN'T EATEN
IN A FEW DAYS,

AND I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU HAD A CAMP NEARBY

WHERE I MIGHT BE ABLE
TO GET SOME GRUB?

OH, SURE.
IT'S JUST UP THIS WAY.

APPRECIATE THAT.

OH, UH,
MY NAME'S SAM.

AND I'M SETH.

GOOD TO MEET YOU.

YOU, TOO.

YOUR OLD PARTNER
THERE REMINDS ME
OF A MAN

NAMED WHITEMAN.

HE AIN'T.

I'M SURE HE ISN'T.

SURE AM GLAD
I RAN INTO YOU BOYS,

I'LL TELL YOU THAT.

JUST ON MY WAY
TO VISIT MY CLAIM.

SEE HOW RICH
THE ORE WAS RUNNING.

THEN YOUR HORSE THREW YA?

THAT'S RIGHT.

Sam: YOU FOUND
A RICH STRIKE?

SURE DID.

I'M SET.

WELL, YOU CAN STAY THE NIGHT

AND GET ON YOUR WAY
IN THE MORNING.

TRUTH IS, I BRUISED
MYSELF A LITTLE.

IT'S DIFFICULT
TO WALK.

I WAS HOPING MAYBE
I COULD REST UP
A FEW DAYS.

YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU WALK ALL RIGHT TO ME.

NOW, HIGBIE,
WHAT'S THE HARM?

MR. SETH HERE
SAYS HE'S INJURED.

LEAST WE COULD DO
IS BE NEIGHBORLY,

LET HIM
REST A WHILE.

THAT'S VERY KIND
OF YOU, FRIEND.

I'D COUNSEL THE OTHER WAY.

FOR WHAT REASON?

AIN'T EVERYTHING
GOT A REASON.

WELL, YOU SURE DON'T.

AND AS I RECALL,

THIS IS MY GRUBSTAKE
WE'RE EATING.

OR AT LEAST,
MY BROTHER'S...

AND I FIGURE MAYBE
I SHOULD BE THE ONE

TO DECIDE IF HE STAYS
A COUPLE DAYS.

SO TELL ME,
WHO'S WHITEMAN?

WHITEMAN'S THAT OLD MAN
OVER THERE.

HIM? NO, THAT'S MR. BALLOU.

HA. "BALLOU"?

NO. THAT'S WHITEMAN.

SAW HIM
IN EAGLE ROCK.

HE'S SUPPOSED
TO HAVE THE MAP

TO THE LOST
MORMON MINE.

WITH VEIN AFTER VEIN
OF THE PUREST GOLD.

DON'T EVEN
HAVE TO SMELT IT.

[SCOFFS]
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THEY'RE KEEPING
A SECRET FROM YOU,
MY FRIEND.

HOLDING OUT A CARD.

NO, THEY WOULDN'T DO THAT.

I MEAN, WHY WOULD THEY?

YOU'RE THE ONE
WITH THE GRUBSTAKE.

THEY NEED THAT.

ONCE THEY FIND
THE MINES,

STAKE THEIR CLAIM,

THEY DON'T
NEED YOU ANYMORE.

HEY, SAM?

I FIGURE I OWE YOU
AN APOLOGY.

AND IF SETH HERE
WANTS TO STAY ON

TILL HE'S HEALED,

THEN THAT DON'T
WRINKLE ME UP NONE.

ME, NEITHER NOTHER.

AH, WE BETTER GET GOING.

YOU'RE WELCOME TO TAG ALONG,

IF YOUR LEG IS UP TO IT.

GUESS I MIGHT GO,

IF WE'RE NOT
GOING TOO FAR.

ALL RIGHT, THEN.

[GRUNTS]

I MUST SAY,
FRIEND,

YOU REALLY
DO RESEMBLE

THAT MAN,
WHITEMAN.

WELL, LOOKING LIKE SOMEBODY
AIN'T SO SPECIAL.

FOR INSTANCE, I SEEN
A HUNDRED JUST LIKE YOU.

[CLANGING]

WE DON'T SEEM
TO BE GETTING ANYWHERE.

SETH HERE MIGHT WANT
TO TAKE A TURN AT THE HAMMER.

WELL, YOU KNOW,
I'D LIKE TO DO JUST THAT,

BUT MY LEG
HAS GOTTEN SO SORE,

AND MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE
JUST STAYED AT THE CAMP.

THAT'S NOT MUCH OF A HOLE
FOR 4 HOURS' WORK.

THIS AIN'T BAD.

NO. NOT BAD AT ALL.

TELL ME, IN YOUR EXPERIENCE,

YOU SEEN IT GO ANY FASTER?

NOT MUCH FASTER.

A LITTLE FASTER.

GENTLEMEN,

MY FIGUREMENT
IS WE'VE COME FAR ENOUGH

FOR A BITUMINOUS
EXPERIMENTATION.

WHAT DID HE SAY?

WHA--

BETTER MOVE BACK HERE,
FELLAS.

WHA--

W-W-W-WAIT,
WHOA, WHOA.

WHOA. WHOA!

WHOA!

WELL, HE SEEMED
TO HAVE HEALED.

HEE HEE HEE.

PROBABLY WOULD HAVE
RUN TWICE AS FAST

IF YOU PUT
REAL GUNPOWDER IN THERE.

I DID PUT IN
REAL GUNPOWDER.

Higbie: RUN!

Ballou: SAM!

WHOA!

I THOUGHT YOU
WERE JUST
GONNA USE FLOUR.

I THOUGHT WE
WAS JUST GONNA
FLUSH HIM OUT.

WELL, IT LOOKED LIKE
A PRETTY GOOD SITE TO ME.

I FIGURED WHILE
WE WAS AT IT...

FLUSH HIM OUT?

YEAH.

SEEMS SOME PEOPLE FIGURE ME
FOR THIS FELLA WHITEMAN.

WELL, I AIN'T
NEVER BEEN WHITEMAN.

I FIGURE I'M TOO OLD
TO BE HIM NOW.

I DON'T KNOW HIM.
I DON'T KNOW HIS MINE.

AND EVERY TIME
WE MEET SOMEONE

WHO THINKS
MR. BALLOU HERE
IS WHITEMAN,

WELL, THEY TAKE
TO HOUNDING HIM.

CAN'T GET NO PEACE.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
CAN YOU WALK?

YEAH. I THINK SO.

ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GO.

HEY!

AH.

GLAD YOU BOYS ARE BACK.

COME ON IN.

DID YA HURT YOURSELF, SAM?

THAT'S TOO BAD,

'CAUSE I'M GONNA NEED
ALL THE HELP I CAN GET

GETTING WHITEMAN HERE TO
GIVE ME THE MAP TO HIS MINE...

OR MAYBE I SHOULD SAY
MAPAPA-TATION.

I DON'T BELIEVE
THAT'S A WORD.

IN ANY VENUE,
I AIN'T GOT NO MAP.

IT'S A WASTE OF TIME.
IT AIN'T HERE.

THAT'S 'CAUSE
HE AIN'T WHITEMAN.

WELL, MAYBE
I'LL GO TAKE A LOOK

WHERE YOU WERE DOING
YOUR BUSINESS LAST NIGHT.

THERE AIN'T NOTHIN'!

AAH! OHH!

[COCKS PISTOL]
UH-UH.

SEARCH 'EM.

AUGH!

HE AIN'T GOT IT!

WELL, COME ON.
LET'S GO.

Seth: I GUESS WE'LL SETTLE
FOR WHATEVER'S IN THE WAGON.

SO LONG, GENTLEMEN.

HAH! YAH! HAH!

GIMME SOME WATER,
SAM.

WHAT IS OVER THERE?

IT'S WHERE
WE HID THE GUNS

UNDER THAT PILE
OF BRANCHES.

[MOANS]

IS HE GONNA
BE ALL RIGHT?

OH, HE'S LIVED
THROUGH WORSE.

Seth: COME ON!

OOH! GO!

FORWARD! HYAH!

MOVE! MOVE!

HYAH! COME ON!

COME ON! MOVE! MOVE!

AUGH! MISERABLE, USELESS...

HYAH!

COME ON. I AIN'T
GETTIN' KILLED OVER THIS.

COME ON!

THIS WAY! HEY!

Twain: MR. BALLOU NEEDED
TO SEE A DOCTOR,

SO WE HEADED BACK.

I HAD LEARNED A LITTLE
SOMETHING ABOUT FRIENDSHIP.

IT'S LIKE THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN FOOL'S GOLD
AND REAL GOLD.

THE REAL THING IS PRECIOUS
STUFF AND HARD TO COME BY.

TAKES SOME TIME
TO BRING OUT.

Man: AND WHEN
DO YOU WANT IT?

BALLOU AND HIGBIE
WANTED TO GO RIGHT BACK UP

AFTER THE OLD MAN HEALED,

BUT BY THAT TIME,
I COULDN'T DENY
ONE SIMPLE FACT:

MY LUCK WAS GONE.

THANK YOU, GENTS.

AND WORSE,
I HAD THE FEELING

THAT MAYBE
I'D NEVER REALLY HAD ANY.

I COULDN'T ASK ORION
FOR ANOTHER GRUBSTAKE.

SEEMED THE RIGHT TIME
TO SET OFF ON MY OWN

TO THINK ABOUT MY FUTURE.

I HATED TO LEAVE
HIGBIE AND BALLOU,

BUT AT THE SAME TIME,
I WASN'T ANY CLOSER
TO MY AMBITION.

I WAS HAVING TROUBLE
GETTING RICH.

WITHOUT MY LUCK,

I DIDN'T KNOW
THE NEXT STEP TO TAKE.

I WANDERED A LONG WAYS
ON MY OWN.

I WASN'T QUITE SURE
WHERE I WAS,

OR WHAT WOULD
BECOME OF ME.

[SIGHS]

[MURMURING, LAUGHING]

SHH! SHH.

WHEN THEY WERE SMALL,

I USED TO SIT
WITH MY DAUGHTERS,

AND WE'D BLOW SMOKE BUBBLES
OUT ON THE VERANDA.

AND THEY WOULD MARVEL AT HOW
THE BUBBLES WOULD FLOAT

AND GIGGLE WHEN
THEY WOULD BURST.

BUT I THOUGHT...

HOW LIKE LIFE
A BUBBLE IS.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL THING

THAT FLOATS
FOR A LITTLE WHILE,

GOING WHERE IT WILL
AT THE WHIM OF THE WIND

AND THEN IT'S GONE.

A LITTLE PUFF OF SMOKE

ASCENDING TO HEAVEN,

JUST LIKE I FELT
AT THAT TIME.

JUST DRIFTING...

FRAGILE...

WAITING TO BURST
INTO NOTHING...

AND MAYBE ASCEND
TO A HEAVEN

AND BE NO MORE.

I WAS TIRED.

TOO TIRED TO CARE.

I NEEDED A REST
FROM EVERYTHING.

THAT'S SOMETHING,
AIN'T IT?

OF COURSE, UH,

I'M PARTIAL TO THESE
HERE ROSES MYSELF.

I...

[LAUGHS]

WELL, YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU COULD USE A REST

BEFORE YOU HEAD
ON YOUR WAY.

I SURE COULD.

WELL,
COME ON INSIDE THEN.

WE'LL GET YOU
CLEANED UP.

HERE YOU GO. GO ON.

- UM, I-I COULD
WASH UP OUTSIDE.
- I WOULDN'T HEAR OF IT.

COME ON.
USE THE WASHSTAND.

THAT'S WHAT
IT'S THERE FOR.

GO ON. HERE.

IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE
I'VE SEEN ANY SOAP.

WELL, MY WIFE LIKES FOR
PEOPLE TO HAVE THE BEST.

IS THIS HER?

YES, SIR.
THAT'S MY LOUISE.

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.

INSIDE AND OUT.

THIS IS ALL HER WORK.

SHE MADE EVERYTHING HERE
OR BROUGHT IT IN.

SHE KNOWS THE WAYS
OF SUCH THINGS.

THE LAW OF IT.
THE HOW AND THE WHY.

I PRETTY MUCH
JUST KNOW THE HOW,

WHICH I GOT
FROM WATCHING HER.

HERE YOU GO.

THANK YOU.

SO I'M SAYING, WHY NOT
STAY HERE FOR A FEW DAYS?

I MEAN, LOUISE IS JUST
OFF VISITING HER FOLKS

IN CALAVERAS.

SHE'S GONNA BE BACK
SATURDAY, SURE.

I KNOW SHE'D
BE DISAPPOINTED

IF SHE MISSED
A FINE YOUNG GENTLEMAN

SUCH AS YOURSELF SO NEW
OUT HERE FROM THE STATES.

I DON'T KNOW.
I WOULDN'T WANT TO IMPOSE.

NOW, DON'T TALK LIKE THAT.
COME ON NOW.

YOU JUST TELL HER

THAT YOU'RE NOT
GONNA BE HERE.

GO ON NOW.

SEE IF YOU CAN DISAPPOINT
A FACE LIKE THAT.

I'D BE OBLIGED.

THANK YOU.

THERE YOU GO.

[SIGHS]

YOU JUST HOLLER IF YOU
NEED ANY HELP THERE.

THANKS, HENRY.
I THINK I'M WINNING IT.

HELLO, THE COTTAGE!

HEY, JIM! HOW YOU BE?

RIGHT AS RAIN.

EH, PICK UP A STRAY?

WELL, THIS HERE IS SAM.

I FIGURED LOUISE
WOULD NEVER FORGIVE ME

IF I LET SOMEBODY LEAVE
HERE WITHOUT HER GETTING

A CHANCE TO MAKE
CIVILIZED CONVERSATION.

SHE'D SAY I WASN'T
BEING HOSPITABLE.

THAT'S THE GOD'S TRUTH.

HEY, I GOT A LETTER FROM
HER JUST THE OTHER DAY.

I GOT IT
RIGHT INSIDE HERE.

A BRAMBLE BUSH
UP AND BITE YOU?

THOUGHT I BETTER GET
MYSELF PRESENTABLE.

WELL, YOU GOT
A LONG WAY TO GO YET.

Henry: HERE SHE IS.

AND, UH, DON'T YOU KNOW,

SHE SAYS TO MAKE SURE
TO SAY "HELLO" TO YOU.

SHE DOES?
CALLS ME BY NAME?

MM-HMM. UH,

"MAKE SURE TO SAY
A SPECIAL HELLO TO JIM,

"'CAUSE NEXT TO YOU,
MY LOVE,

HE'S THE SWEETEST MAN
LIVING."

FAIREST WOMAN
ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH.

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU
COME BY SATURDAY NIGHT?

SHE'S GONNA BE HERE
AROUND SUPPERTIME.

I KNOW SHE'D LOVE
TO SEE YOU.

WELL, THANK YOU,
KINDLY, HENRY.

I'LL DO JUST THAT.

AHH...

SEE YOU SATURDAY THEN.

MY OLDEST FRIEND
UP HERE, JIM.

SEEMS TO LIKE
HIS EGGS FRESH.

OH, THAT WASN'T NOTHIN'.

I'VE SEEN HIM EAT
A SQUIRREL LIVE ONCE.

HE PREFERS EGGS, THOUGH.

LOUISE LOVES
TO WRITE POETRY.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

THAT FIRST ONE THERE
IS MY FAVORITE.

THAT ONE.

GO ON.
READ IT OUT LOUD.

"THE EVENING SUN
RECLINES UPON

"AND PULLS THE MOUNTAINS
UP FOR SLEEPING.

"WITH EACH DAY'S END,
OUR LOVE EXTENDS,

THROUGH MEM'RIES
WE'RE SAFEKEEPING."

YOU SHOULD HAVE
WOKEN ME UP.

OH, I DIDN'T WANT
TO TROUBLE YOU NONE.

WELL, AT LEAST
LET ME HELP.

WELL, YOU CAN HELP ME
CARRY THIS STRUT

OVER THERE
IF YOU WANT.

ALL RIGHT.

RIGHT THERE.

I THOUGHT I'D
BUILD LOUISE A GAZEBO.

GOT THE IDEA FROM YOU.

WHEN YOU WERE LOOKING
AT THAT PICTURE,

IT MADE ME REMEMBER
SHE WAS SITTING IN ONE

WHEN WE HAD THAT MADE.

I'M SURE SHE'LL LOVE IT.

YOU'VE NEVER BEEN
IN LOVE YOURSELF,

HAVE YOU, SAM?

I DON'T GUESS SO.

HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?

REAL LOVE, UH,
MARKS A MAN.

CHANGES HIM FOREVER.

I CAN SEE IT
ON A MAN'S FACE.

SOMETHIN' IN THE EYES.

IT'S THE MIGHTIEST THING
IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

IT'S LIKE AN AVALANCHE
THAT JUST PICKS YOU UP

AND CARRIES YOU
RIGHT ALONG

ROLLING YOU
HEAD OVER HEELS.

IN TIMES OF DARKNESS,

IT'S A BEACON
OF PURE LIGHT.

IS THIS ALL RIGHT?

OH, THAT'S FINE.
THAT'S FINE.

I JUST WANT TO CLEAN UP
THIS EDGE HERE

IF YOU DON'T MIND.

IT'S TOMORROW
SHE'S COMING BACK?

YEP. TOMORROW.

TOMORROW, SURE AS
THE SUN IS SHINING.

SHE'LL BE WALKING RIGHT
DOWN THAT PATH THERE.

WE'LL HEAR HER SINGIN'.

SINGING "'GRACE" IN THAT
SWEET VOICE OF HERS.

SHE'LL BE WEARING
THAT WHITE DRESS

THAT SHE LOVES SO MUCH.

HER DARK HAIR
WILL BE DOWN

AROUND HER SHOULDERS

WHERE THE WIND LIKES
TO PULL IT.

SHE'LL BE BRUSHING IT
AWAY FROM HER EYES

WALKING THAT WAY
SHE DOES,

LIKE SHE JUST
MIGHT START SKIPPING

ANYTIME SHE FANCIES.

SHE'LL HAVE
SOME TREASURE,

SOME SPECIAL PACKAGE
SHE'LL BRING BACK.

AND SHE'LL BE LOOKING
AROUND THE PLACE

WONDERING
WHAT'S CHANGED.

SHE'LL BE WONDERING
WHERE I AM,

BUT NOT WORRIED.

SHE WON'T WORRY.

SHE KNOWS I'M HERE.

THAT I'D NEVER LEAVE.

SHE'LL BE LAUGHIN',

HAPPY TO BE HOME.

SOUNDS LIKE A... STREAM

TRIPPING OVER
SOME STONES OR...

THE FIRST WARM BREEZE
THAT LETS YOU KNOW

THAT WINTER'S OVER

AND SPRING HAS COME.

SPRING HAS COME.

Jim: HELLO, THE COTTAGE!

HELLO, JIM!
HOW YOU BE?

GOOD NEWS, BRETHREN.

I STUCK MY BEARD
IN SULLY'S CREEK,

AND 10 TROUT TOOK IT UPON
THEMSELVES TO BITE ON IT

BEFORE I COULD
PULL IT BACK OUT.

FIGURED I'D BRING
A FEW ON OVER TO YOU,

THOUGH I DID EAT ONE
ON THE TRIP.

WELL, THAT'S REAL
KIND OF YOU, JIM.

I'M GONNA SMOKE
SOME OF THESE UP

FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.

I WAS WONDERING, HENRY,
IF YOU'D WANT ME

TO BRING OVER A FEW
OF THE BOYS FROM THE CAMP,

MAKE A LITTLE PARTY
OVER LOUISE'S HOMECOMING.

WELL, I KNOW SHE'D SURE
LIKE TO SEE EVERYBODY.

WELL, IT'S SETTLED THEN.
WE'LL BE BY.

HANDSOME JOB
ON THAT LEAN-TO.

THANK YOU.

COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT
WITHOUT SAM HERE.

TOMORROW THEN.

?? [ACCORDION,
MEN SINGING]

? THE BOYS WON'T LEAVE
THE GIRLS ALONE ?

? THEY PULLED MY HAIR
AND STOLE MY COMB ?

? BUT THAT'S ALL RIGHT
TILL I GO HOME ?

? SHE IS HANDSOME,
SHE IS PRETTY ?

? SHE'S THE BELLE
OF BELFAST CITY ?

? SHE IS COURTIN'
1, 2, 3 ?

? PLEASE WON'T YOU TELL ME
WHO IS SHE ?

? ALBERT MOONEY
SAYS HE LOVES HER ?

? ALL THE BOYS... ?

THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

? ...AND THEY RING
THE BELL ?

? SAYIN', "OH, MY TRUE LOVE
ARE YOU WELL?" ?

? OUT SHE COMES
AS WHITE AS SNOW ?

? RINGS ON HER FINGERS
AND BELLS ON HER TOES ?

? OLD JOHN MURRAY,
HE SAYS SHE'LL DIE ?

? IF SHE DOESN'T GET THE FELLA
WITH THE ROVIN' EYE ?

? I'LL TELL ME MA
WHEN I GO HOME ?

? THE BOYS WON'T LEAVE
THE GIRLS ALONE ?

? THEY PULLED MY HAIR
AND STOLE MY COMB ?

? BUT THAT'S ALL RIGHT
TILL I GO HOME ?

? SHE IS HANDSOME,
SHE IS PRETTY ?

? SHE'S THE BELLE
OF BELFAST CITY ?

? SHE IS COURTING,
1, 2, 3 ?

? PLEASE WON'T YOU TELL ME
WHO IS SHE ?

HEH HEH HEH. WHOO!

[ALL CHEERING]

WELL, BOYS, YOU DONE
SUNG FOR YOUR SUPPER.

NOW, I WANT YOU TO COME
OVER HERE AND EAT IT.

IT'S ALL OUT.

SHOULDN'T WE WAIT
FOR LOUISE?

OH, NO, NO. SHE'LL--
SHE'LL BE ALONG SOON.

SHE WOULDN'T WANT
A BUNCH OF HUNGRY MEN

WAITIN' ON HER.

LITTLE REFRESHMENT,
BRETHREN?

OH, NO,
NOT THAT ONE, SAM.

THAT'S HENRY'S.

HERE'S YOURS, HENRY.

WELL, THANK YOU
KINDLY, JIM.

I SWEAR YOU MAKE
BETTER'N CITY LIQUOR.

HA HA HA.

OH...
HO HO.

[COUGHS]

WELL, HENRY, WON'T
BE ANOTHER MONTH

WE'LL BE WANTING TO
PUT OUR TRAPS OUT.

YEP.

ANOTHER SUMMER IS GONE.

ALL RIGHT, WHO'S GOT
ANOTHER SONG IN 'EM?

[MEN CHEERING]

[PLAYING]

? FARE THEE WELL ?

? TO YOU,
MY OWN TRUE LOVE ?

? FOR I'M SAILIN'
FAR AWAY ?

? I AM BOUND
FOR CALIFORN-I-AY ?

? BUT I KNOW THAT
I'LL RETURN SOMEDAY ?

? SO, FARE THEE WELL,
MY OWN TRUE LOVE ?

? FOR WHEN I RETURN,
UNITED WE SHALL BE ?

? IT'S NOT THE LEAVE
OF LIVERPOOL ?

? THAT GRIEVES ME ?

? BUT MY DARLIN'
WHEN I THINK OF THEE ?

? I HAVE SHIPPED ON
A YANKEE SAILIN' SHIP... ?

[MEN STOP PLAYING]

SHH SHH.

YOU SEE, SAM,

LOUISE AIN'T
COMIN' HOME TODAY.

SHE WHAT?

FACT IS,

LOUISE LEFT TO GO VISIT
HER FOLKS 16 YEARS AGO.

SHE WAS SUPPOSED
TO COME BACK THIS SATURDAY

16 YEARS AGO.

HENRY DON'T KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED TO HER.

WE FIGURE SHE GOT
KILLED BY SOMEBODY.

WE HOPE THE INDIANS
DIDN'T GET HER.

SHE LEFT 16 YEARS AGO?

THEY'D BEEN MARRIED ABOUT
A YEAR WHEN IT HAPPENED.

WE LOOKED EVERYWHERE FOR HER
MONTH AFTER MONTH.

AND THEN IT HIT HENRY
SHE WASN'T COMIN' BACK.

SHOOK HIM
TO HIS BONES...

LIKE A POX.

DIDN'T EAT FOR 2 WEEKS.

GOT COLD.
THEN HE GOT A FEVER.

I THOUGHT
HE WAS GONNA DIE.

BUT FINALLY,
HE CAME OUT OF IT.

HE SEEMED FINE

TILL THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY
OF HER HOMECOMING.

THEN HE STARTED IN

ON HOW SHE WAS COMIN' BACK
THAT SATURDAY.

PULLED OUT HER LAST LETTER,
SAME ONE YOU HEARD HIM READ,

JUST LIKE IT WAS SENT
A MONTH AGO.

HE STARTED
FIXING UP THE PLACE

JUST LIKE SHE WAS
STILL LIVING HERE.

HE'S BEEN DOIN'
THE SAME THING EVERY YEAR.

DOES A LITTLE PAINTIN'
OR BUILDIN'.

THIS YEAR,
IT WAS THE LEAN-TO.

LAST YEAR,
HE DID THE SHUTTERS.

AND THAT'S WHEN
WE BRING OVER THE FIXIN'S

FOR A PARTY JUST LIKE
SHE WAS ABOUT TO ARRIVE.

I MAKE IT A POINT
TO DRUG HENRY

WITH SOME LAUDANUM I KEEP
JUST FOR THE PURPOSE.

OTHERWISE,
HE COULDN'T TAKE IT.

THIS WAY, TOMORROW,
HE'LL WAKE UP.

HE'LL BE FINE
FOR ANOTHER YEAR.

THE FACT IS...

THAT DREAM'S THE ONLY THING
THAT'S KEEPIN' HIM ALIVE.

SO NOBODY SAYS NOTHIN',

'CAUSE THE WHOLE THING
HAS MADE HENRY SPECIAL.

EVEN THOUGH IT'S A LIE
SHE'LL BE COMIN' BACK,

THE DREAM'S SO PRETTY,

WE FEEL PRIVILEGED TO BE
DREAMIN' IT WITH HIM.

[SIGHS]

NOW, YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT
TO LINGER A LITTLE LONGER?

YOU'RE CERTAINLY WELCOME.

I SHOULD MOVE ON.

BUT I REALLY WANT
TO THANK YOU

FOR PUTTING ME UP.

THE PLEASURE WAS MINE.

YOU'RE A LUCKY MAN, HENRY.

DON'T I KNOW IT.

I THINK I WAS WRONG
ABOUT YOU.

HOW'S THAT?

I THINK MAYBE YOU
HAVE BEEN IN LOVE.

YOU TRAVEL SAFE.

Twain: THE DREAMER'S
VALUATION OF A THING LOST,

NOT ANOTHER MAN'S,

IS THE ONLY STANDARD
TO MEASURE IT BY.

AND HIS GRIEF FOR IT MAKES
IT LARGE AND GREAT AND FINE,

AND IS WORTHY OF
OUR REVERENCE IN ALL CASES.

BUT AS I WALKED ON,

I KNEW THAT I COULD
NOT ALLOW MYSELF

TO BE CAUGHT UP
IN SUCH A DREAM,

PRETTY AS IT WAS.

IT STOPPED HENRY
FROM MOVING.

IT WRAPPED HIM IN THE WARM
BLANKET OF REMEMBRANCE

FROM WHICH
HE WOULD NOT ESCAPE.

WELL, I NEEDED MORE THAN
A DREAM FOR MYSELF.

BUT IT WOKE ME UP,
MY TIME WITH HENRY.

IT TOLD ME THAT THIS DREAM
OF STRIKING IT RICH

WAS NOTHING MORE THAN THAT:
A DREAM.

I NEEDED TO FIND
SOMETHING ELSE.

SOMETHING REAL.

BUT WHAT?

UNH!

LOOK OUT NOW!

GO!

YEAH!

WHOO-HOO!

WELCOME TO VIRGINIA CITY,
SAM. EAT UP.

HIGBIE! MR. BALLOU!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

HEH HEH HEH!

WELL, I MUST CONFESS,
A RICH MINERAL STRIKE

IS SOMETHING WE AIN'T
QUITE GIVEN UP ON YET.

MR. BALLOU FIGURES
HE KNOWS WHERE

WE CAN FIND IT
HEREABOUTS.

WE GOT OURSELVES
RECONCILED

IN A NICE LITTLE CABIN
DOWN THE HILL.

PLENTY OF ROOM
FOR THE LIKES OF YOU

IF YOU AIN'T
OTHERWISE PROFRACTED.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,
I'M BETWEEN PROFRACTIONS

RIGHT NOW.

ALL RIGHT THEN.
FINISH UP YOUR SUPPER.

COME STAY WITH US.

IT'S A PRETTY LITTLE SPOT
JUST DOWN HERE...

TUCKED AWAY
FROM THE WIND.

IS THAT EUGENE?

[BRAYING]

WE MADE UP,
BUT DON'T SAY NOTHIN'.

HE'S STILL TENDERIZED
ABOUT IT.

WE BUILT THE PLACE
FROM SCRATCH.

YOU MIGHT HAVE USED
A LITTLE LESS SCRATCH

AND A LITTLE MORE WOOD.

[BOTH LAUGH]

AREN'T THERE ENOUGH
ROCKS OUTSIDE?

WHAT DO YOU BRING 'EM
IN HERE FOR?

WELL, MR. BALLOU
HAS BEEN STUDYING

THE ROCK
IN HEREABOUTS.

IT SEEMED TO ME
THE THING TO DO

IS TO GET NOTABLE
WITH THE ROCKS

FROM ALL THE SHAFTS
AROUND HERE.

AND THEN, WHEN WE
GO OUT EXCAVATING,

I CAN THEOLIZE
OUR CHANCES

IN CASE I RUN INTO SOME
LIKEWISE-LOOKIN' ORE

FROM A MINE
THAT'S YIELDING.

WELL, GIVE HIM
A TEST, SAM.

HE CAN TELL YOU
WHICH SHAFT

EVERY ONE OF THEM
ROCKS COME FROM

JUST BY LOOKING
AT IT.

ALL RIGHT.

HOW 'BOUT THIS ONE?

CANDABIE MINE.

Higbie: WELL?

HE'S RIGHT.

HE KNOWS 'EM
LIKE A MAMA HOG
KNOWS HER BABIES.

WE'VE BEEN GOING
DAY PACKIN'.

YOU KNOW, LOOKIN' AROUND,
THEN COMIN' BACK.

WE AIN'T FOUND
NOTHIN' YET, BUT...

I GOT A FEELING
WE'RE CLOSE.

I AIN'T NEVER BEEN SO SURE
OF NOTHIN' IN MY LIFE.

Higbie: YOU OUGHT
TO COME WITH US, SAM.

WE COULD SURE USE
YOUR LUCK.

NO, I'M DONE
PROSPECTING.

I THOUGHT I MIGHT
TRY THE BIG CITY,

GO OVER
TO SAN FRANCISCO

AS SOON AS I GET
THE PASSAGE.

WELL, IF THAT'S
WHAT YOU WANT.

THEY'RE ALWAYS
LOOKING FOR FELLERS
AT THE QUARTZ MILL.

YOU COULD PUT
A FARE TOGETHER
THERE PRETTY QUICK.

THAT'S WHERE
THEY CRACK THE ORE

FROM ALL THE MINES
AROUND HERE

AND RECLAMATE
THE GOLD AND SILVER.

WELL, I JUST
MIGHT DO THAT.

[PRINTING PRESSES
CLACKING]

YES, SIR.

EXCUSE ME. IS THERE
A FOREMAN IN?

IN THERE.

THANK YOU.

EXCUSE ME.

I WAS TOLD
YOU'RE HIRING.

ALWAYS HIRING.

ALL RIGHT.

HOW 'BOUT HIRING ME?

IT'S HARD WORK HERE.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GOT
THE MAKINGS FOR IT.

WELL, I WORKED
THE SKY MINE IN GOLD HILL.

NEVER HEARD OF IT.

WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE
I WORKED IT

SO HARD AND SO FAST
THAT IT GOT PLAYED OUT

BEFORE ANYBODY EVEN
KNEW IT WAS THERE.

WELL, IF THAT'S THE CASE...

YOU CAN START RIGHT NOW.

$10 A WEEK.

ALL RIGHT NOW,

TAKE THESE SHOVELS

AND MOVE THIS PILE
OF SAND TO THERE.

WHY?

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT
I TOLD YOU TO DO.

OH.

WHY DID YOU
GIVE ME 2 SHOVELS?

WELL, THE WAY
I FIGURE IT,

ANY MAN WHO WORKED
THE SKY MINE
LIKE YOU DID

IS GONNA WEAR ONE OF
THOSE OUT RIGHT QUICK,

SO I GIVE YOU 2

SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO
STOP WHEN THAT HAPPENS.

SAM.

SAM.

SAM!

[SIGHS] WHAT?

TOMORROW,
IF YOU THINK ON IT,

TRY TO OBFUSCATE
A COUPLE OF SAMPLES
OF ORE

FROM THE WILD WEST MINE

FOR THE COLLECTION.

ORE?

YEAH.

YEAH, IT'S THE RICHEST
I EVER SEEN.

I'D LIKE TO SEE
IF IT'S STILL RUNNIN'
THAT WAY.

AHH, IF I LIVE.

[GROANS]

[CACKLES]

IT'S MADE ME REMEMBER
WHY I HATE REGULAR WORK:

1-- IT'S REGULAR.
2-- IT'S WORK.

[LAUGHS]

BE 2 BITS, GENTS.

I'D LIKE TO START
A TAB, PLEASE.

SURE. IF YOU GOT A JOB.

I'M HOLDIN' UP A SHOVEL
OVER AT THE QUARTZ MILL.

UNDER WHAT?

OH. WELL, SINCE
I'M ORDERING 2 DRINKS,

LET'S SAY MARK TWAIN.

WHAT'S THAT MEAN?

ON THE RIVER
WHERE I COME FROM

IT MEANS SAFE WATER,
2 FATHOMS UNDER THE KEEL.

SAFE WATER.

MARK TWAIN.

[RAUCOUS LAUGHTER]

WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?

NEWSPAPERMEN
FROM THE ENTERPRISE.

NEWSPAPERMEN, HUH?

DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THEY'RE
WORKING TOO HARD.

ONE OF THE FEW JOBS
YOU CAN DO

WHILE SITTIN'
IN A SALOON.

Man: HEY!

YOU THIEVIN' SKUNK!

HEY.

HEY!

HEY, HEY,
NOW LIGHTEN UP!

NOW, NOW,
NOW, NOW,

DON'T GO RUININ'
THEIR FUN.

THEY RUINED MINE.

LET'S JUST
GET OUT OF HERE.

DOES THIS SORT OF THING
HAPPEN OFTEN?

YEAH, RIGHT.
THEY-THEY DO.

[CLEARS THROAT LOUDLY]

YOU WANNA TELL ME WHY
THIS PILE OF SAND IS HERE

AND NOT THERE?

I'M THINKIN'.

I'M THINKIN'
YOU SHOULD BE WORKIN'.

WELL, I'M THINKING ABOUT
A WAY YOU MIGHT IMPROVE

HOW THINGS GET DONE
AROUND HERE.

WELL, I'M THINKIN'
THE ONLY WAY
OF IMPROVIN' THINGS

IS BY IMPROVING THE WORK
HABITS OF YOUR WORKERS.

NOW, DO YOUR THINKIN'
WITH THAT SHOVEL.

[SIGHS]

[GROANS]

AIN'T.
IS.

AIN'T!
IS.

AIN'T!
IS!

AIN'T!
IS!

HERE HE IS.
ASK HIM YOURSELF.

[SIGHS] WHAT?

MR. BALLOU WAS SAYIN'

THAT THIS ROCK
COULDN'T BE

FROM THE WILD WEST.

WELL, IF THAT'S THE ROCK
I BROUGHT YOU LAST NIGHT,

IT'S FROM THE WILD WEST
ORE WAGON.

THIS ORE IS FROM
THE WILD WEST.

THIS ORE AIN'T,

AND THERE AIN'T
BUT ONE WAY TO
FIND OUT, NEITHER.

[GUARDS TALKING QUIETLY]

I'M SAYIN' THAT ORE
DIDN'T COME FROM THAT MINE.

AND I'M SAYIN'
WE'RE NOT GONNA GET
THROUGH THEM TONIGHT

TO FIND OUT.
SHH.

THINKIN' AGAIN?

YEAH.

HIT ON ANY
IMPROVEMENTS YET?

NO. [SIGHS]

BUT SOMETIMES IT HELPS
IF I ACTUALLY SLEEP
ON A PROBLEM

AND LET MY SLUMBERING
MIND WORK ON IT.

WELL, I KNOW MY EXPERIENCES
CAN'T MATCH YOURS,

BUT I DO KNOW ONE THING.

UNLESS YOU STAND UP

AND STAND UP A LOT CLOSER
TO THAT SHOVEL

AND MOVE SOME SAND
WITH IT,

YOU'RE GONNA FIND YOURSELF
MOVIN' RIGHT ON OUTTA HERE.

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS] I GOTTA QUIT
THAT MILL JOB.

AH, IT'S HATEFUL LABOR,

BUT HOW ELSE YOU EXPECT
TO GET TO SAN FRANCISCO?

TRUE.
ZIP!

HEY!

CAN'T A MAN
HAVE A DRINK IN PEACE?

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!

NO HARM DONE.

HEY! WHY DON'T YOU
WRITE ABOUT THAT?

A MAN CAN'T HAVE
A DRINK IN PEACE

AFTER AN HONEST
DAY'S WORK?

THERE SHOULD BE
A PROTEST.

IF YOU'RE SO OFFENDED
WITH THE MANNERS

OF THE CITIZENS
OF OUR FAIR CITY,

WHY DON'T YOU
WRITE A LETTER?

MAYBE I WILL.

[CHUCKLES]

AND THEN I'M GONNA SAY
THAT IT'S WELL KNOWN

THE CONSTITUTION
GUARANTEES A MAN

LIFE, LIBERTY,
AND THE PURSUIT OF A DRINK

IN PEACE AND QUIET
AFTER A HARD DAY'S WORK...

AND THESE BRAWLS
AND FISTFIGHTS

ARE IRRESPONSIBLE ACTS

THAT THE FOUNDING FATHERS...

EXCUSE ME.

UH, WHAT IS IT?

CAN'T YOU SEE
I'M WORKING HERE?

SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN
TO DISTURB YOU.

I'M SAM...

SAM CLEMENS.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

WELL, I TOOK
YOUR ADVICE.

I WENT AHEAD AND
WROTE A LETTER MYSELF

ABOUT THE WAY PEOPLE
FIGHT AND SO FORTH
IN THE BARS.

LET ME SEE IT.

YOU WANNA GIVE THIS
TO THE EDITOR.

YOU CAN LEAVE IT
ON HIS DESK THERE,

BUT YOU MIGHT
WANNA ADD ONE THING.

YOU DIDN'T SIGN YOUR NAME.

OH. [LAUGHS]
MUST'VE FORGOT.

AND YOU MIGHT WANNA
COME UP WITH ANOTHER ONE.

ANOTHER NAME?

LIKE ME. MY REAL NAME
IS WILL WRIGHT.

I USE THE NAME DAN DE QUILLE
FOR PROTECTION,

JUST IN CASE
YOU WRITE SOMETHIN'

THAT SOMEONE DOESN'T
TAKE TOO KINDLY TO

AND YOU NEED TO LEAVE TOWN.

I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.

THANK YOU.

SAM!

COME ON.

SHH, SHH SHH SHH SHH.

LOOK HERE.

AW, JEEZ, AW!

I GOT HIM FROM THAT INDIAN
LIVES IN THAT CAVE

DOWN BY THE CREEK.

HE SAID HE REMOVED
HIS STINKERS.

HOW'RE WE GONNA
MAKE IT LOOK LIKE
HE'S GONNA SQUIRT?

[RATTLING]

GOT HIM FROM THE INDIAN.
SAID HE REMOVED
HIS POISONERS.

YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST
BROUGHT THE INDIAN.

HE COULD'VE
REMOVED THE GUARDS.

GET HIM UP THERE.

[ROCK THUDS]

WHAT'S THAT?! HUH?!

[RATTLES]

RUN! HE'S FIXIN'
TO FIRE!

OK. MAKE SURE THE INDIAN
GETS THESE CRITTERS BACK.

HE SAID IF HE DIDN'T,

HE WAS GONNA REMOVE
SOMETHIN' OF MINE.

[RUNNING FOOTSTEPS]

Ballou: FELLAS,
GET UP! GET UP!

WHAT IS IT?

WE'RE MILLIONAIRES, BOYS,
MILLIONAIRES!

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKIN' ABOUT?

I WENT DOWN
THE WILD WEST SHAFT.

I KNEW THAT ORE
DIDN'T COME FROM
THE VEIN DOWN THERE,

AND SURE ENOUGH,
I SAW THE ORE

THAT YOU BROUGHT IN, SAM,

NOT FROM THE WILD WEST
BUT IN A BLIND LEAD.

WHAT'S A BLIND LEAD?

A BLIND LEAD. IT'S A--

IT'S A LEDGE OF ORE

THAT DON'T COME OUT
ON THE SURFACE.

IT'S AN OFF-SHOOT

OF THE MAIN LEDGE.

IT'S GOT ITS OWN
MARKINGS AND CASINGS,

AND IT'S GOTTA BE
FILED FOR BY ITSELF

OR IT AIN'T LEGAL.

AIN'T NOBODY MADE
ANY SUCH CLAIM.

SO NOBODY KNOWS
IT EXISTS EXCEPT US.

[LAUGHING AND WHOOPING]

Twain: AND SO IT HAD
FINALLY HAPPENED,

JUST LIKE I
ALWAYS KNEW IT WOULD.

WE WERE RICH.

I'D JUST REACHED OUT

AND PICKED THAT
SAMPLE OF ORE RIGHT UP

JUST LIKE GATHERING EGGS
FROM THE HEN.

NOW, ALL WE HAD TO DO
WAS WORK THE MINE

SOME TIME
IN THE NEXT 10 DAYS

AFTER THE DEED WAS FILED,

AND IT WOULD BE
ALL OURS FOREVER.

I'M GOIN'
TO EUROPE...

FOR A MONTH.

A MONTH?

A MONTH
AIN'T NOTHIN'.

A MAN OF YOUR MEANS

SHOULD GO FOR
A COUPLE OF YEARS.

CAN'T SEE NOTHIN'
IN A MONTH.

THAT'S RIGHT.

I'LL GO
AND JUST STAY.

SEE ROME
AND ITALY...

FRANCE.

YOU KNOW,
THE GIRLS IN FRANCE,

THEY DANCE ONSTAGE

IN JUST
THEIR UNDERWEAR.

THAT'S ALL?

THAT'S WHAT I HEARD.

OF COURSE, I GOTTA
PAY ORION BACK

FOR ALL THE HELP
HE'S GIVEN ME.

YEAH.

I AM GOING
TO SAN FRANCISCO.

BUY MYSELF A HOUSE
UP ON RUSSIAN HILL.

OH, AIN'T NO USE BUYIN'
A HOUSE UP ON A HILL.

WHY NOT?

WELL, THEN YOU GOTTA
WALK UP AND DOWN

THE BLAME HILL
TO GET ANYWHERE.

OH. I AIN'T GONNA WALK.

I'LL HAVE A TEAM OF HORSES
AND A CARRIAGE...

DRIVER WITH A UNIFORM, TOO.

GONNA HAVE A MAN
DRIVE YA?

IF I WANT.

NOW THAT'S LIVIN'.

WHAT ABOUT YOU,
MR. BALLOU?

WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO?

I DON'T KNOW.

ME AND EUGENE BEEN
PROSPECTIN' SO MANY YEARS,

I'LL PROBABLY
JUST KEEP AT IT...

THOUGH MAYBE
I'LL GET ME A NEW DOG.

FELLAS...

IF YOU DON'T MIND,
I'LL MEET YOU
AT THE CLAIM.

I WON'T BE LONG.

SURE. WE'LL
SEE YOU THERE.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU WANT A WHAT?

WITH ALL THE THINKING
I'VE BEEN DOING
FOR THE MILL,

I THINK A RAISE
IS IN ORDER.

WELL, I DON'T WANNA
DISSUADE YOU
FROM ASKIN',

BUT, UH,

MOST PEOPLE WANNA GET
THROUGH THEIR FIRST WEEK

BEFORE THEY ASK
FOR A RAISE.

BUT THOSE PEOPLE PROBABLY
HAVEN'T BEEN DOING

THE THINKING FOR YOU
THAT I HAVE.

NO...

BUT THEY HAVE DONE
A FAIR SHARE MORE
HONEST WORK.

WELL, IT ALL DEPENDS ON
WHAT KIND OF EMPLOYEE
YOU WANT HERE.

THIS IS A MILL
THAT POUNDS ROCK.

THAT GIVE YOU
SOME IDEA?

AND IF YOU WORK
REAL STEADY FOR,
I DON'T KNOW,

3 MONTHS,

YOU CAN GET YOURSELF
AN EXTRA $1.00 A WEEK.

NO. THAT'S NOT
WHAT I HAD IN MIND.

WHAT DID YOU
HAVE IN MIND, SAM?

I FIGURED $500,000 A WEEK,

BUT I DON'T WANNA BE PIGGISH.

400,000 WILL DO IT

BECAUSE YOU AND I SEEM
TO GET ON SO WELL.

SEEMS A LITTLE HIGH.

WELL, YOU SEE THAT'S WHAT
I'M GONNA BE MAKING
AT MY NEW JOB,

SO I THOUGHT I'D GIVE YOU
A CHANCE TO MATCH IT.

SO WHAT'S
YOUR NEW JOB, SAM?

1/3 OWNER OF
MILLIONAIRE MINE.

MY PARTNERS AND I
FOUND A BLIND LEAD
OFF OF WILD WEST.

MAYBE WE'LL LET YOU
SMELT OUR ORE.

I BELIEVE THIS IS YOURS.

THAT'S HIM.

SAM. SAM.

ARE YOU SAM CLEMENS?

THAT'S RIGHT.

YOUR BROTHER ORION.
HE'S GOT THE FEVER BAD.

HE SENT ME TO FETCH YOU.

ORION?

COME ON.

Sam: DEAR HIGBIE
AND MR. BALLOU,

GOT WORD ORION IS ILL.

GONE CARSON CITY.

I PROMISE TO DO MY SHARE
OF THE WORK AND MORE

WHEN I GET BACK,

WHICH I HOPE IS SOON.

YOUR PARTNER, SAM.

HYAH!

ORION.

I'LL GET
SOME FRESH WATER.

WE HAVE TO
KEEP HIM COOL.

[ORION SHUDDERS]

[WHIMPERING]

NO. UNH!

NO! NO! GET OFF!

ORION.

HOLD ON, ORION.
HOLD ON.

MISS O'FLANNIGAN!

HOLD ON.

Orion: NO! NO!

KEEP HIM STILL!

[RAVING
AND GROANING]

GET AWAY!

YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT
NOW, ORION.

YOU'RE GONNA BE
ALL RIGHT, ORION!

GET HIS LEGS!

Miss O'Flannigan:
TIE HIS HANDS!

I GOT 'EM.

NO! AAH! AAH!

CALL A DOCTOR!

AAH!

GET THEM OUT!
GO! [RAVING]

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

YOU'RE GONNA BE
ALL RIGHT.

ORION, ORION, IT'S ME.

Twain:
THE DOCTOR SAID

WE WERE DOIN'
ALL WE COULD DO,

BUT MY BROTHER STILL
WASN'T GETTING ANY BETTER.

I BEGAN TO WONDER
IF HE EVER WOULD.

WELL...

I WAS GONNA SAVE
THIS GOOD NEWS

UNTIL YOU GOT BETTER,
BUT WHY WAIT?

YOU MIGHT JUST HEAR THIS
AND GET SO EXCITED

THAT YOU COME
RIGHT OUT OF THAT FEVER.

THE FACT IS
IS THAT...

I STRUCK IT RICH,

HIGBIE, MR. BALLOU,
AND ME.

I WAS ALWAYS LUCKY.
MAMA WAS RIGHT.

I MADE GOOD, ORION.

WITH THAT MONEY,
I'M GONNA--

I'M GONNA VISIT ALL
THE CAPITALS OF EUROPE,

BUT BEFORE I GO,

I'M GONNA VISIT MAMA
DOWN IN HANNIBAL.

THAT'S RIGHT.

AND I'M GONNA BUY HER
ANYTHING SHE WANTS.

I'M GONNA PAY YOU BACK,
TOO, ORION...

FOR THE-- THE GRUBSTAKE...

FOR THE PASSAGE OUT HERE.

[SIGHS] WE DON'T HAVE
OUR-- OUR MONEY YET,

BUT THAT'S
JUST A FORMALITY.

I LEFT HIGBIE
AND BALLOU THERE

TO WORK THE CLAIM
WHILE I CAME DOWN HERE.

WHEN I GET BACK
I'M GONNA SPELL THEM.

THE MONEY'S
JUST GONNA BE FLOWIN'.

BUT YOU DON'T THINK
ABOUT THAT NOW.

IT'S TIME FOR YOU
TO GET BETTER.

[SIGHS] IT'S TIME
FOR YOU TO GET BETTER.

[SIGHS]

Orion: SAM?

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?

[LAUGHS]

THANK YOU.

BE CAREFUL NOW.
IT'S HOT.

WELL, I BETTER GET GOING

OTHERWISE HIGBIE AND BALLOU
WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME.

I'D GIVE YOU PASSAGE
FOR A STAGE

IF THAT DOCTOR HADN'T
CHARGED ME SO MUCH

FOR YOU
SAVING MY LIFE.

SEEMS KIND OF SILLY
FOR A MILLIONAIRE

TO HAVE TO WALK
ALL THE WAY THAT I DO.

SEEMS LIKE YOU WALKED
OUT OF HERE THE SAME WAY

THE LAST TIME I SAW YA.

WELL, AT LEAST I CAN SAY
MONEY HASN'T CHANGED ME.

YOU KNOW, I HAD THIS DREAM
WHEN I WAS SICK, SAM.

I DREAMED YOU WERE
TRAVELING THE WORLD.

WELL, THAT'S WHAT
I WAS TELLING YOU

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING,

THAT I'M GONNA TRAVEL
WITH SOME OF THE MONEY,

AFTER I PAY YOU BACK,
OF COURSE.

OH, I KNOW
YOU'LL PAY ME BACK.

I'M NOT WORRIED
ABOUT THE MONEY.

FUNNY THING ABOUT
THIS DREAM WAS--

AND I REMEMBER THIS
FEELING SO CLEARLY--

I WAS SO PROUD
OF YOU, SAM.

I REMEMBER
FEELING SO PROUD

THAT YOU WERE
MY BROTHER.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF,
ORION.

I WILL.

YOU, TOO.

I WILL.

HIGBIE. MR. BALLOU.

DID YOU GET MY NOTE?

I HOPE IT DIDN'T
PERTURB YOU
TOO MUCH,

BUT I FIGURED I'D
WORK TWICE AS MUCH

WHEN I GOT BACK.

NO, WE GOT YOUR NOTE, SAM.

WELL, GOOD BECAUSE
I DON'T WANT ANY
MISUNDERSTANDINGS.

WE JUST GOT IT...
RIGHT NOW.

RIGHT NOW? I WROTE
THAT NOTE MORE THAN
A WEEK AGO.

10 DAYS.

THE SAME TIME
WE WROTE YOUR NOTE.

YOUR NOTE?

IT'S GONE, SAM.

THE MINE?

EXACTAPERGENTATIONALLY.

THE MINE, THE MILLIONS,

IT'S GONE.

BUT HOW?

WHEN WE LEFT YOU
10 DAYS AGO--

I WENT TO TALK
TO THE FOREMAN,

AND-AND THEN
I GOT NEWS THAT
ORION WAS SICK

AND HE NEEDED ME,
SO I--

AND WE WENT OFF
TO WORK THE CLAIM.

RIGHT.

AND I WAS GONNA
COME RIGHT BACK.

BUT ON THE WAY
TO THE CLAIM,

AN OLD FRIEND
OF MR. BALLOU'S

TOLD US ABOUT A SURE-FIRE
STRIKE UP AT FINGER CREST.

BUT WE HAD OUR MINE.

YEAH, BUT...

WE KNEW YOU WERE COMIN' BACK
DIRECTLY TO WORK IT,

AND I KNEW MY LUCK
HAD COME BACK REAL STRONG,

AND YOU--

YOU GOTTA RIDE THE STREAK
WHILE IT'S STREAKIN'.

BISTUPIDAGRATION.

SO WE WENT OFF
WITH THOSE FELLERS,

KNOWIN' WE'D
BE BACK SHORTLY.

WE LEFT YOU THAT NOTE
TELLIN' YOU ABOUT IT,

AND WE DIDN'T SEE
YOUR NOTE TILL NOW

WHEN WE GOT BACK.

ONLY 3 HOURS AGO,

OUR 10 DAYS WAS UP.

W-WELL, SO WHAT?
WE CAN JUST--

WE SHOULD GO RIGHT
BACK NOW AND REFILE,
RIGHT NOW. LET'S--

SAM!

3 HOURS AGO THE CLAIM
WAS UP FOR GRABS,

AND SOMEONE ELSE GRABBED IT.

BUT WHO?

HA, WHO COULD HAVE
KNOWN ABOUT IT?

I MEAN, WE DIDN'T
HAVE A CHANCE
TO TELL ANYONE...

EXCEPT FOR THE FOREMAN
AT THE QUARTZ MILL.

Twain: THERE IS
A NUMBNESS OF LIMBS

THAT SETS IN WHEN A MAN
RECEIVES SUCH A BLOW...

WHEN HE REALIZES HIS DEMISE
IS OF HIS OWN MAKING.

Man: WHAT WAS HE
THINKING ABOUT?
[LAUGHTER]

THE EYES AND THE MIND
ARE FOGGED BY A DUST

MADE OF BROKEN PROSPECTS
AND DREAMS GONE DEAD.

Woman: THAT'S JUST
PLAIN STUPID.

IT WAS IN SUCH A STATE

THAT I WALKED ALONG
THOSE STREETS THAT DAY.

[PANS CLATTER TO GROUND]

Man: SAM?

SAM CLEMENS?

SAM!

SAM!

COME ON UP HERE.

THIS IS HIM, JOE.

OH, THIS.

WELL, I BEEN LOOKIN'
FOR HIM FOR OVER A WEEK.

YOU WRITE THIS?

WHAT ABOUT IT?
IT'S GOOD.

IT'S REAL GOOD.

IN FACT...

I'D LIKE TO GIVE YOU A JOB
ON THE PAPER, MR., UH...

MARK TWAIN.

A JOB?

WRITING, HERE,
FOR THE ENTERPRISE.

PAYS $25 A WEEK.

$25?

THAT'S RIGHT.

WHOA!

GET DANIEL.

GIVE HIM AIR!

GIVE HIM AIR.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, MOSE.

I'M RICH.

Twain: AND SO IT WAS
I FOUND MY CALLING.

I TOOK A LONG WAY TO IT,
I SUPPOSE,

BUT MAYBE THAT WAS THE ONLY
WAY THERE WAS TO IT.

IT'S PART OF THE MYSTERIOUS
ADVENTURE OF YOUR LIFE,

'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT IT IS,
AN ADVENTURE

WHERE THINGS HAPPEN
WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT 'EM,

AND OFTEN WHILE
YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING
ENTIRELY DIFFERENT.

THERE ARE 1,440 MINUTES
IN EVERY DAY,

YOURS TO USE AS YOU SEE FIT

TO WANDER...

TO LEARN...

TO WASTE...

TO BUILD.

WE DIDN'T MAKE THIS WORLD,

BUT MAYBE WE CAN MAKE IT
A LITTLE BETTER

THAN IT WAS
WHEN WE CAME INTO IT.

IT'S ALL UP TO YOU.

BE OPTIMISTIC
ABOUT YOURSELF,

ABOUT YOUR TALENTS,

ABOUT YOUR CALLING.

PUT ALL YOUR EGGS
IN ONE BASKET...

AND WATCH THAT BASKET,

SO NOW BEFORE I EMBARRASS

MY OWN DAUGHTER SUSY
ANY FURTHER,

LET ME SAY FINALLY

CONGRATULATIONS
ON YOUR GRADUATION,

AND GOOD LUCK
WITH YOUR LIVES.

IT WAS WONDERFUL.

DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL.

YEAH.
[LAUGHS]

English CC subtitles
ripped by Tantico (09.2020.)