Rome Express (1932) - full transcript
A sinister character boards the Rome Express on the trail of a valuable Van Dyke painting, recently stolen from a Paris gallery. Much to his annoyance he finds the train populated with a motley assortment of passengers. including adulterous lovers, a very annoying golf fanatic, a French police chief and an American silent film star any one of whom could have the painting he desperately seeks..
Pardon, monsieur.
- Vous desirez, monsieur?
- Er...
Qu... quelle...
Er, pour registration...
Er, mais le grange en retard...
Er, pour Rome.
Vous avez ce bon, monsieur,
quel pour voyage?
Oh.
N'importe, n'importe.
Allez! Allez! Allez! Allez! Allez!
Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh!
Oh, mon dieu! Enfin.
Can you speak english?
Hello, my sweet.
Do you know...
I thought you were never coming.
Am I very late?
Do you know, I... I nearly didn't come.
Why?
- Didn't you want to?
- Of course I did.
- But there is your wife?!
- Oh, don't be afraid of that.
Besides, as a matter fact I've
telephoned her already.
- Oh, we're going to be so terribly happy.
- Oh... I know we are...
But we-we must be careful.
Well, of course we'll be careful!
I've thought about everything.
Come on... we've only got
a minute or two.
Attention!
- There you are.
- Thank you.
Do you like Paris, madame?
I love it!
Oh, you were lovely in your last picture.
How nice.
And do you like Rome, madame?
- I love it!
- Yeah, just crazy about it.
Such a beautiful city.
Acceptez les fleurs, madame?
Oh, how sweet.
Thank you.
Yes, it is a beautiful city.
So different from New York.
So, er... old!
Old? I'll say it's old! It's got whiskers
on it stretchin' from here to bc.
Do we understand you're going to Rome
to make a picture, madame?
Yes.
Yeah, she's starring in
the english version...
Of an Italian talkie. And the contract...
Say, don't blame me if it gets...
In the papers, but it
runs over five figures.
I have so many friends in Rome.
Yeah, they're the cream of Italian society.
Don't think she's "high hat", no!
In spite of all her culture she remains
the "simple, home-loving girl".
What about this rumour of your engagement
to the Marquis de masurier?
Oh, I'm afraid I can't say anything
about that for a while.
Yeah, but you can take
it from me there's no...
Smoke without fire! Eh, gentlemen?
- May we have a picture, miss marvelle?
- Yes, of course.
Look this way, monsieur?
Goodbye.
Goodbye. Au revoir, madame.
Mcbane is my name.
Alistair mcbane.
- Knew you at once, sir. If I may say so?
- Ah! Mmm. Indeed.
If you'll let me have the number of
your compartment, sir.
Well, I have a special compartment
reserved for me, of course...
But my fool of a secretary's
gone off with the tickets.
Ah!
Where the devil have you been?
Sorry, sir, the bookstall... er, these...
Papers you asked me to get, I-it's...
Crowded, sir - I had to wait.
Hmm.
Well, that's no reason why I should wait!
Now don't stand there like a fool, man.
- Give him the tickets.
- Yes, sir.
Oh, for heaven's sake, man!
Pull yourself together!
Auf wiedersehen, gute reise.
Auf wiedersehen, gute reise.
En voiture, s'il vous plait!
Au revoir, au revoir, au revoir, au revoir.
En voiture, s'il vous plait, monsieur.
Au revoir. Au revoir.
Well, we're off.
- Well, I'll be seein' ya.
- Okay.
En voiture, s'il vous plait!
Attention!
No, no, no, no. Nol!
Give that to me.
Er...
Er, je le garde... moi-meme.
Well, that was a near thing!
Very, monsieur.
You have your tickets, sir?
Yes, here they are.
Oh!
Alors... tout va bien, monsieur?
Oui. C'est tout.
- C'est tout. Merci.
- Merci.
I hadn't time to reserve places.
Pity, monsieur.
We have no vacant compartments.
But, I think I can find you...
Two odd berths.
We, er... must separate?
I'm afraid so, monsieur.
- Will you come this way please?
- Mmm hmm.
Gentlemen.
I am...
Overwhelmed...
By your suggestion...
That the new ward...
At the metropolitan hospital...
Should bear...
My name.
My... humble name.
Though I feel I am...
Unworthy of the honour...
It gives me...
Great pleasure...
To accede to your request.
May I suggest...
That it be called the alistair...
Mcbane...
Memorial ward.
In... capitals, mills.
I feel...
That a gift may be of some use to you.
I therefore have pleasure in
enclosing a cheque...
For...
Say, two thousand...
Three thousand...
Say five thousand, mills.
- Merci Mille fois, monsieur.
- Mmm?
That's all right.
I remain... etc., etc., etc., etc.
Now take down another.
Pardon, madame.
- Merci.
- Merci beaucoup, monsieur.
Darling!
What is it?
Nothing.
I'm a little afraid, that's all.
Well, there's no need to be.
I suppose not.
The train has brought me down to earth.
Husbands become such a habit.
Mmm hmm. So do wives.
Still, darling...
We're going to have a change.
I can't help wondering what would...
Happen if Jim got to hear of it.
Well, I'm only wondering about you.
Supposing there's someone on
the train who knows us?
My dear, why should there be?
You know...
I believe you're still
a little bit in love...
With that husband of yours.
Are you?
No, of course not.
How could I be, after what he did?
- Have you seen him?
- No.
What's more important - he
has not seen me.
Well, how do you know he's
on the train?
My informa...
My information is always correct.
If it is not, then there is trouble
for the informant.
Well, he might have been warned.
It was attended to.
He thinks we are still in London.
Pardon me.
What are we going to do?
You would recognise him
if you saw him?
What, from this?
Yes.
Then you take a promenade down the
train and keep your eyes open.
See you later in my compartment,
when we order our dinner.
Excuse me.
Certainly, monsieur.
A beautiful day.
Yes.
Warm, though.
Yes.
It will be hot in Rome.
Yes.
You are going to Rome, monsieur?
Yes.
I too!
My first holiday in four years.
Yeah.
You are on holiday, monsieur?
No such luck!
Business.
Oh, c'est dommage!
Phew!
It will be hot in the hills, too.
In the hills?
Yes.
You see...
I go to Rome...
For my hobby.
- Yeah.
- Lam, er...
Coleopterist, yes? - Eh?
Yes... what you call a "bug hunter".
Beetles.
Beetles?!
That must be very interesting.
From baron bernelli, miss.
What, again?
Put them with the others.
Come on.
Well, what now?
Why, dinner's ready.
Got it all fixed.
If you come to the dining car...
I've got a gag that'll knock 'em cold.
Oh, Sam!
Now listen...
As soon as you sit down: Biff!
We take a picture, see? You know,
with all the waiters round.
You signing menus with one hand, and...
Throwing kisses to the garcons
with the other.
Huh, I can hardly wait!
Yup, always on the job.
Just full of ideas.
"Think up a gag - then plug it!" -
That's my slogan.
I know, Sam, but I'd like to be...
My own sweet self, once in a while.
And, oh boy, that feeling's growing!
Yeah, but I wouldn't let that get too
much of a hold on yer.
After all, publicity is publicity.
And, say, when you eat...
Boy, they'll be sittin'
up at the soup...
And... paralysed at the Demi-tasse.
I suppose everybody knows
I'm on the train.
Why, sure!
What d'you take me for?
Think I'm dumb?
Now get this, Sam.
I want a rest.
I want to be myself until we get to Rome.
Rome?
Rome?!
Now you're talkin'.
Say...
Have I got a gag for you!
Say, there's gonna be the swellest
reception...
- Carpets all laid down on the platform...
- Now listen, Sam!
I'm so sick and tired of
being "exhibit a"!
You promised me a rest on this trip.
You know how I feel.
Yeah, I know how you feel.
I know just how you feel.
Still, you can come in the
dining car, can't you?
No!
- But, I made all the...
- I'm staying here!
- I made all the arrangements.
- Well then, run along and "un-make" them.
Say, what about that champagne...
And the caviar the Russian
prince sent you?
Personally I'm having a glass of milk
and one aspirin, right here.
But the champagne?!
Shoo!
- And the caviar?!
- Scram!
And then...
I put him in my little bottle.
I cap the stopper on.
Sol
he is caught.
And from the bottle...
There is no escape.
Really?
Very interesting.
Hmm.
And then...
There is another thing.
I often find...
Entrez.
Oh, pardon, monsieur.
He tells me that I have some
friends on the train.
Er, I must have a word with them.
If you will excuse me.
Oh, er, certainly.
No, thanks.
Quel compartiment?
Voiture deux, compartiment trois, monsieur.
Merci.
Peculiar old fellow, that.
- You think so, monsieur?
- Yes.
He's been telling me all
about beetles.
Apparently he catches 'em.
Ah, oui. That is his great hobby.
Ah.
Well, he's a bit of a bore...
Though quite harmless.
- Not so harmless, monsieur.
- Hmm?
Between ourselves...
Monsieur jolif catches other things
besides these beetles.
Oh... what's that?
He is head of the surete.
- The surete?
- Mmm hmm.
- The police?
- Mmm hmm.
"Papa jolif", they call him.
And, it is said, that he never
forgets a face.
Monsieur has finished with this?
Oh, yes.
Thank you.
Yes, thanks.
"Dinner is served. First service."
"Dinner service. Premier service."
"Dinner is served. First service."
Er, I say... steward?
Er... what's the dinner like?
The dinner? Ah, it is very good, monsieur.
Petite minute, monsieur. I have
the menu here.
A la carte, you can have...
Here, sir. Everything is ready, sir.
Yeah, so I see, so I see.
My word, but that's swell, eh?
Well, I'm sorry to say madame marvelle...
Won't be able to come here.
Oh, I'm very sorry, sir.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Et voila, monsieur.
Could I... I want to change
my compartment.
Oh!
You're not comfortable then, monsieur?
Well, er...
Er, what?
Merci.
Er, I've got a double compartment,
and I want a single one.
Oh, I regret...
Well, if there's anything more to pay...?
Hmm, I am sorry but it is...
- Practically impossible.
- Oh, no, but look here, I...
Must change my compartment.
- Oh...
- Well, it's, erm...
Er... it's too noisy...
It's... too near the engine.
And my nerves...
Oh, it's a... pity.
Er, there is room in a double compartment.
- But, it is a lady - you understand?
- Yes, yes.
Er... later perhaps?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, as
soon as you can.
Er, poole. Poole is the name.
P-double o-l-e.
- Oh.
- Poole.
Very good, monsieur.
- Er, le ticket...
- Oh, yes.
Thank you, for... just the two?
Yes, just the two of us.
Merci, monsieur.
Bless my soul...
If it isn't George Grant!
Well, this is a pleasant surprise.
I thought I knew that voice!
- How are you?
- How are you, you old scoundrel?
Oh, very well, thanks.
Anybody sitting here?
- Well, I, er...
- I'll join you.
What a small world it is, to be sure.
Bit different from the old surbiton
golf course. Eh, George?
Yes, yes.
How's the wife?
Oh, um...
Er, she's very well, thanks.
- And the chicks?
- Oh, splendid.
Oh, good, good.
They aren't with you, I see.
No, no, no, no - no, they're
not here now.
Well, this is a jolly reunion,
that's what I call this.
Huh, we must have a drink to celebrate.
What will you have, George?
Oh, thanks very much.
I, I'll have a gin and it.
Er, your friend?
Hmm? Ermm...
- Whiskey?
- Whiskey.
Er, garcon!
Er, s'il vous plait...
Er...
Un gin and it and deux whiskey,
er, et Perrier.
Oui, monsieur.
I say, I didn't catch your friend's name.
Oh, um...
- Oh, this is Mr...
- Poole.
Er, mr poole...
He's a business acquaintance
of mine.
He's, er, helping me out
on the continent.
What! Not "the" poole of London, eh?
Well, delighted to meet you, mr poole.
You mustn't mind my sense
of humour, mr poole.
My wife often says I'll be the death
of her, with my little cracks.
- You know me - don't you, George?
- Oh, yes, yes.
Er, this is mr bishop.
He's a neighbour of mine at home.
Yes. We're brother golfers
on the greensward.
Divot diggers at dagenham, eh, George?
Yes, um, um...
Mr poole is sharing my compartment...
Number twelve, in the next carriage.
Oh, oh yes...
Sharing the same dog box, eh?
Ah!
Here we are. Here's to it.
C'est pour madame?
- Er...
- Non... non.
Er, no, no, no, that's for me.
Er, er, et monsieur.
Et moi.
Cheers.
Oh, we shall be able to enjoy
a nice game of...
- Poker later on, eh?
- Yes.
I was wondering how I was going to
beguile the tedium of the voyage.
Yes, it's a bit of luck, eh?
What do you say, George?
- Yes.
- Yes.
What do you say, mr poole?
Oh, yes. Yes.
Yes, a bit of luck - for all of us.
Yes.
- Yes.
- Well...
Hooray.
- Hooray.
- Hooray
there we are, now. What
about the eats?
Here's that notice from the echo, sir.
Read it.
"At the next table I saw mr
alistair mcbane..."
"Famous millionaire, philanthropist
and art collector."
"Who, as usual, looked the soul of
kindly benevolence."
Ah!
Have they mentioned me
in connection with...
That library bequest at canning town?
I'll see, sir.
Ho! Say, listen to this.
"From shopgirl to screen star: The story
of my life, by asta marvelle."
- I didn't okay that!
- No, but I did.
Let me see it.
No, this is only the...
First installment, up to
the time you got...
That job in the jewellery
store in New York.
Oh, say, listen.
"Next week, miss asta marvelle will
tell you how a robbery at her..."
"Place of employment gave her the
chance of a screen career."
"Our readers will no doubt remember..."
Let me see that.
Great stuff, huh?
See what I'm gettin' yer?
Baby, you'll slay 'em!
When I get through with this campaign...
What you eat for breakfast will
be front page news!
Same old bunk!
Makes me sick!
I like that bit, mills.
Read it again.
Yes, sir.
"Only last week he made a generous..."
"Donation to the re-building fund of
the west London library."
"I hear from a well-informed quarter..."
"That we may look for his name
in the next honours list."
Ah.
Not bad, eh?
Very gratifying indeed, sir.
Oh, by the by, mills.
Yes, sir?
I see from your accounts you took a
taxi from the hotel this morning.
Yes, sir.
Only eight francs, sir.
Well, I don't pay you
to ride about in taxis!
Well, I-1 was detained, sir.
There was cables to answer.
Well, get up earlier.
It's cheaper!
Yes, sir.
And don't bite your nails.
It doesn't look as though they're going to
recover the missing Van dyck, sir.
Really?
Does it say something there about it?
Well, just a paragraph, sir.
Read it out.
"It is now ten days since
the theft of the..."
"Van dyck picture from the
Murdoch collection."
"The police are still without a single..."
"Clue as to the whereabouts
of the picture..."
"Or the thieves."
"However, the police are of
the opinion that..."
Yes, well, it serves Murdoch right.
He should have accepted my offer.
Yes, sir.
He must be kicking himself now.
All the principal collectors were after it.
Yes.
And mine was the highest bid... and
the damned fool turned me down.
I wanted that painting.
I'd have gone to any lengths to get it.
I wonder where it is now?
Er, yes, that, that's er, soixante franc.
Yeah, good.
Yeah, well, um, er, pour vouz.
Merci.
Merci, monsieur.
Well, er...
Oughtn't we to be getting back
to our compartment?
Yes, I suppose we'd better.
See you later.
Oh, no, that's all right.
I'm coming along to your compartment
for a smoke and a yarn.
Ah!
Now, don't forget that game of poker.
Eh, mr poole?
Not a bad dinner, was it?
No, not too bad.
Though I shouldn't like too much of
this foreign, mixed-up stuff.
The poulet roti wasn't bad, though.
No.
- I say, George.
- Hmm?
Did you notice that little
"piece" at our table?
What?
That little "piece"?
Oh.
Rather tasty, I thought. Didn't you?
Mmm.
Any idea who she is?
No, I-I've never seen her.
French, of course.
- Well, I must say that, er...
- Damn!
I-I've left my cigarettes on the table.
Look here - you fellers go on.
I'll follow you later.
- Here, I say, George.
- Yeah.
None of your larks.
I saw her first, you know!
I'm so sorry, darling.
That was a near thing.
But... but that fellow bishop's
the most awful scandalmonger.
I didn't dare risk it.
Something like that would happen!
Yes, I know.
But it was jolly decent of that
fellow poole to help us out.
You know, I think we'd better separate.
- No!
- Just for the moment.
I'll get a conductor, and he can
find you a vacant place.
And then?
Oh, it'll be all right.
I'll get rid of those two.
You won't worry, will you?
No.
Everything will be all right,
I promise you.
Well?
Not a sign of him.
Yeah, he rests - he's laying low.
Well, we can't search the whole train.
Sooner or later he will show himself and...
And then...
I think of him often!
We must be careful - we can't
take unnecessary risks.
Are you losing your nerve?
No.
No, it's this hanging about.
If you wish to occupy your
too-active mind...
Go to the train controller.
Ask him to show you the
list of passengers.
Tell him you are looking for a...
Friend of, Mr... Mr Kelsey, or...
Kelsey? Well, that's his real name.
- He's hardly likely to...
- I know, I know.
He'll probably be using another.
But there's never any harm in
trying, and if you just...
- I'm sorry.
- How do you do?
How do you do?
Bye-bye.
- See you later.
- Mmm hmm.
And the reception committee...
Believe me, it's unbelievable!
One prince, a couple of counts, three
Dukes and a whole raft of barons...
Besides half the pressmen in Italy.
No doubt I shall be a sensation.
And, say - I wouldn't be a bit surprised...
If old man Mussolini himself
wasn't in the line-up.
Yes. Now I've heard about enough
about myself for one day, Sam.
- Well, I was only doin' the best for you!
- I know.
I know, Sam. Now run along and let
me relax for a while, will you?
Well, after all - publicity is publicity.
And don't forget I was once press
agent to Tom mix's horse.
Good enough for anybody, ain't it?
Oh, I beg your...
Goldie!
I think you've made a mistake, er...
I'm madame marvelle.
Mistake! I couldn't make a
mistake about you!
Tony.
Don't you remember?
Tony!
Oh, I knew you would.
We can't talk here.
- Well?
- Well...
Now that you've found me,
what do you want?
Found you? I didn't even know
you were on the train.
No, it's good to see you again.
You weren't following me, were you?
No!
Well, why should I?
Oh, I'm sorry, Tony...
One gets suspicious of old friends...
Who know things.
Well, if it worries you...
- My being here, I'll clear off!
- Oh, please don't, no.
Sit down.
It's four years ago.
It's all dead and forgotten.
Yes, I know.
Sometimes the past jumps out at you.
See what my manager showed me today.
It even mentions the robbery.
Brought it all back, somehow.
Supposing it came out that I
was mixed up in it?
It can't. It won't.
Well, you and I are the only
two people who know.
What about ricole?
He's dead.
What fools we were to listen to him.
Oh, I don't know.
After all, it was through
you getting our...
Pictures in the papers that you're
where you are now.
I know.
But you...
It doesn't seem right somehow.
What are you doing now?
I'm going to Rome.
Yes. It is the Rome express, isn't it?
What is it, Tony? The same old game?
Why don't you get out of it?
You're losing your grip, Tony.
Why don't you pull yourself out,
while there's still time?
Ah, hell. What's the use?
Who cares, anyway?
Mmm... someone or other...
Maybe.
Maybe not.
I must be going.
Shall I see you again?
If you want to.
Do you?
I'll tell you when I see you.
Well, don't worry too much
about the grimy past...
Madame marvelle!
Pardon, madame.
- Merci bien, madame.
- Thank you.
Oh, I'm afraid I'm disturbing you.
Er, not particularly.
Indeed, your presence is rather an asset.
In case of an accident we
could assist each other.
Oh, quite!
Unless, of course, we were both
disabled at the same time!
Aren't you being rather pessimistic?
Oh, I always go through life
expecting the very worst.
But why?
Well, it's so nice if it doesn't happen!
Now, you know the sebling course.
Once you're off the fairway...
You're in the consomme.
In the what?
In the consomme - soup.
And I remember at the tenth...
You're going to scream at this -...
I gave my ball a great big swipe...
And away it went, over the
hill, out of sight...
On to the green...
This is a yell -...
And plunked into the cam.
Now, my partner, Charlie, said to me...
You know Charlie...
Er, Charlie wood, not Charlie purnell...
Well, Charlie said to me...
Pot luck, old boy... pot luck." Huh.
Yeah.
Yes, but you haven't heard it yet.
It's what I said to him!
Now, I said to him...
"Charlie", I said... "Charlie"...
It was a scream.
Oh, oh, dear. Always goes well.
Always makes me laugh.
Well...
I must be goin'.
Oh, sorry.
I'll be back for that game of cards.
Oh, yes, yes. We'll think about that, yes.
Yes.
And remember, I don't "slice" at poker.
See you later.
Well, now that our golfing friend's gone...
I won't trouble you to stay any longer.
Thank you for helping me out of that hole.
Don't mention it.
Besides, you're not troubling me.
I'm very comfortable where I am.
But you want to go back to your own
compartment, don't you?
But this is my compartment.
Didn't I hear you telling
that prize bore...
That we were travelling together?
I know.
But you saw why I did it.
Oh, yes.
I saw.
But I've an even bigger prize
bore in my carriage.
- Yes, but, look here, I say...
- Well, of course...
If you'd like to... find me
another compartment...
Single for preference...
I might move.
Cigarette?
But I tell you, I have nothing to declare!
I have no silk underclothes -
I always wear woollen!
Woollen?
Ca va.
Er, je ne pas declare.
Ouvrez!
Ah, non - il faut examiner.
Well, there's nothing there,
I tell you. Rien!
Ah hal
what's the matter?
- Aah...
- Ah ha!
There's nothing to laugh at!
They're artistic.
Oh, very artistic, monsieur. Ca va.
Merci.
Er, non, non.
I found that man poole a
single compartment.
It'll be free at one o'clock - when
we get to dutres.
You can come in then.
Now, you're... you're not going to let
me down, are you, darling?
- Oh, no, but you...
- Oh, I promise you...
Everything will be all right.
Pardon, monsieur.
Yes?
Will you come
along and open your bags, please?
Oh, all right.
Damn the customs.
You won't let me down? Remember...
One o'clock in the morning.
Bless you, darling.
Um...
- Other luggage?
- No!
Bon.
The man is still on the train.
No one has left at this stop.
What's the matter, my friend?
Nothing.
You cannot, er... mean that.
Well, if you want to know, I'm
fed up with the game.
So soon?
We are only just beginning.
Oh, I'll see this through.
When you do meet poole, what
are you gonna do?
Get the Van dyck back...
- For one thing.
- And the other?
Need you ask?
I'm not very fond of double-crossers
but why talk of that now?
Let's have a drink.
Garcon!
- Two more.
- Ah!
And a whiskey for me while
you're about it, garcon.
Oui, monsieur.
Yes, I could do with a drink.
I've just had a visit from those
customs chaps!
They are a nuisance.
I have had... trouble with them
once or twice myself.
Well, they've been poking and
prying in my...
Baggage as if I was hiding something!
Nosy lot of elves. Huh!
Still, I suppose it's their job.
Ah!
- Now we're talking.
- How much?
No, no, no, please, allow me.
If you don't mind.
Combien?
Er, cing francs.
Let me see now, that's er...
Yes, here we are.
Merci, monsieur.
Ca va.
Thank you.
- Well, here's fun!
- Where?
Oh, I see!
You're the same as me.
You've got a sense of humour.
Look here... I've got an idea.
Two of the boys and meself are
having a game of poker...
80 why don't you join us?
You know, just a friendly game.
- No, I'm afraid not...
- Now, look here.
The five of us can play in here.
What do you say?
- Er, yes, we will.
- Splendid.
Now, you wait here and I'll
go fetch the boys.
Yes, yes, we will wait here.
They'll be tickled to death. Simply
tickled to death.
Well, what's the idea?
Why neglect opportunity?
A fool is a fool all the world over.
We will win some small change.
Waiter!
Aren't you going to bed yet?
Not just yet.
I'm not sleepy.
Well, I am, though I doubt
if I shall sleep.
Do we cross over any Bridges
during the night?
I don't know, why?
Oh, have you never thought?
A bridge must weaken every
time a train crosses it.
Some day or other it will give way!
I suppose it must.
All I hope is that I'm not picked
up unconscious.
Some of these railway men
are so familiar.
Ah!
Now I've made up a party for this little
flutter of ours in the dining car.
Come along.
All right.
But I warn you - I'm turning
in by one o'clock.
Ho ho! That'll be plenty of time to
put us in the rough.
What about you, mr poole?
Well, if you don't mind, I'd rather not.
Afraid of our handicap, eh?
No, and I'm not very partial to crowds.
If we're going to play in the dining car...
Oh, it'll be empty, man.
Except for us.
Come on?
Oh, all right.
- You can count me in.
- Splendid.
Let's go!
Remember...
You're moving out when we come back.
Yes.
One o'clock.
Pardon.
- Shall I make up the beds?
- Yes, please.
Yeah.
Now, come along.
You'll like it when we get there.
They're a couple of jolly good fellows...
If I'm any judge of human nature.
Le cap azur, monsieur?
Yes, yes, and, er, some more whiskey.
- Bien.
- Not for me.
Well, here we are, gentlemen.
Let me see, I didn't catch your name.
Zurta.
This is mr poole, of London.
"The" poole of London, in fact!
Very glad to meet you, "mr poole".
And this is my dear old
friend, George Grant.
One of the very best.
- How do you do?
- How'd you do?
How do you do?
Well, come on, boys.
Won't you sit down...
Mr poole?
Ah! The garcon. Come on -
les cartes.
Voila, monsieur.
Here we are.
Here you are, George.
Oh, right-o.
Une autre chaise, that's right.
Well...
We've got the weapons
for the offensive.
Now we can get on with the affray.
Will you excuse me for a moment, I...
I've forgotten something, I've...
I've left...
I've forgotten my money.
Well, haven't you got enough
to carry on with?
You can rely on me to help
you out, mr poole.
Splendid.
Now, what's it gonna be?
Jackpots or straight poker?
- Straight poker, I think.
- Yes, I think so.
Ah.
What... what's going to be the stakes?
Oh, I dunno, er, hundred francs?
What do you say, mr poole?
Yes... that's all right.
I hope.
And, er, the lads deal, eh?
Yes.
Oh!
Oh, I say, the Ace of spades!
That's unlucky!
Poor old poole.
- Perfect.
- Your deal, poole.
You know, I've been looking forward
to this journey for weeks.
- I always like a game of poker.
- What's this, mr poole?
For your winnings?
Winnings? Don't be silly.
This is going to be my lucky night.
Well, come on, let's get on with it.
What are the penalties?
Oh, a hundred francs for four,
don't you think?
Yes, that'll do me.
Oh, garcon!
What are you fellers going to drink?
- Whiskey?
- Whiskey, yes.
Well, how about the old firewater?
Yes, that'll do me.
I'll come in.
- Garcon, er, whiskey for four, please.
- Oui, monsieur.
Er, garcon, bring, bring a bottle will you?
Oui, monsieur.
- May as well have a bottle, I think.
- Oh, I should say so.
Well, I'll come in for a hundred.
Here you are, sir.
I think you'll find everything correct.
All right.
Leave it.
Very good, sir.
And, er... what time will you
take breakfast, sir?
- Nine o'clock.
- Very good, sir.
Goodnight, sir.
Goodnight.
I'll make it two hundred...
And fifty.
And, mr poole?
Um...
And fifty.
I'm out.
Hundred and ninety-five.
Yes, all right. I'll see.
All right.
What you got?
Full house, by George! Ho!
Well, that sees me.
And me.
Well, that's another hundred I owe you.
Well, the lord loveth a cheerful giver.
You've begun the evening well, mr poole.
Let's hope he'll end it...
As fortunately. May I take
my note back?
Thank you.
No.
I'll open. I'll open for
another twenty-five.
That's fifty. Play for seventy-five.
I'm in.
And us.
I say, George, we're in with a
bunch of crooks!
We'll make it a hundred and fifty.
Raise you.
Good lord!
Damn fool.
And again.
What have you got?
Four queens.
God in heaven!
I might have known... you'd have
one more picture than me.
Never say die, mr zurta.
Perhaps you'll get it later.
Well, let's see what you've got.
What, again!?
God! You know, this sort of
thing isn't human!
Who asked you to play, anyway?
Your money, poole.
Good gracious me! Look at this!
I've never seen anything like it. Ho!
Oh, I'll have to tell old Charlie
about this.
Talk about the demon luck!
Ten to one. That's that.
Here's the two hundred, poole.
- Two hundred for a straight flush, was it?
- Yeah.
Yes, here's my two hundred.
Two.
Well, I've never seen anything
like that in all my puff!
A lucky devil.
What do they say, "unlucky in cards..."
"Or lucky in love", whatever it is.
A very successful wind-up of the
evening for you, poole, my boy.
Well, I...
I say, look here...
Couldn't we play a little longer?
What?
Want to rook us a bit more
do you, you rascal!
Not me!
I'm tired. I'm going to get some sleep.
Yes, I think we have played
enough, mr poole.
Oh, yes, - all right.
Pourvoir - for the waiter.
Merci, monsieur. Merci.
That cleans me out.
Don't forget your winnings, mr poole.
What, forgetting his winnings!?
He must be a multi-millionaire!
I yeah.
Come on, mr poole.
Trust that George, you know...
Wait until I tell Charlie about
this, you'll see...
Merci bien, monsieur.
Oh!
- Merci beaucoup, monsieur.
- Please.
- Merci.
- Merci. Merci beaucoup, monsieur.
- Well, here we are.
- This is rather cosy!
Well...
I think you'd better thank us for
a very profitable evening!
Yes.
- Thanks.
- Never mind.
One of these nights we'll
have our revenge!
What do you say, mr, er, zurta?
Yes.
We will have our revenge.
Goodnight... mr poole.
Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, mr poole.
Well, goodnight you fellers.
Oh, um...
See that no one disturbs me before
eight o'clock, will you.
Eight o'clock, monsieur? Very good, sir.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, goodnight.
Well, goodnight, mr zurta.
Er, goodnight, mr, um...
- Bishop.
- Bishop, bishop.
Yes, bishop by name but not by nature!
What are you doing?
Look here, Grant...
I'm not going to turn out.
- Not turning out?!
- No, I...
Can't.
But, this is the limit!
You made a bargain with me and
you'll have to keep to it.
But, I can't.
- I'm sorry.
- Sorry?!
You seem to think "sorry" is an
excuse for anything.
Well, it isn't.
Go on - get out of the way.
Oh, look here...
Don't, I-i-i-listen to me, I...
I can explain everything.
You don't know what you're doing!
Don't I?
I know what I'm doing.
I'm turning you out.
Oh, no, look here! Listen
to me, please...
Don't do that. You don't understand!
You don't know what this means...
To me, it means everything -
everything!
Oh, I...
I know that you've got your secret...
But I've got mine, too...
I don't give a damn about
your secrets - come on!
You can't do anything while
Grant's in there.
Don't worry.
I will persuade him to come
out to talk to you...
While I talk...
To mr poole.
Is he dead?
- No.
- No?
In any case... that's his affair.
We are going to have a
little talk, mr poole.
Zurta... you...
And then you are going
for a long holiday.
You remember when the
picture was stolen?
Well...
My buyer didn't take it.
I see.
I told you that he'd paid me...
Well, he hadn't.
Oh, but...
Butthen I heard...
There was somebody who was prepared...
.Totakeitin Rome...
If I would deliver it.
Continue, continue.
Oh, you'd have got your share, all right!
I swear you would!
I meant to send it on to
you, from Rome.
Mmm hmm.
I see.
Oh, but I...
I can tell you the man's name!
Yes, er...
Or, I don't know...
Well, you can...
You can take the Van dyck.
I don't want it!
You can take my share and the Van...
Here!
Oh, but I...
There must be some mistake.
This isn't my case.
What the...
Well?
I'll find it for you.
I swear I will.
It must be somewhere on the train.
Here...
Take my winnings.
Take the lot.
That is all?
Yes.
Okay.
You need the holiday... badly...
My friend.
- Is he dead?
- Mmm hmm.
He tried to use a knife.
I used it!
And Grant?
Mmm...
He is only sleepy. It happened
before I came in.
They must have had a...
Slight argument.
Why d'you do it?
You must have been mad?!
No.
Only annoyed.
And what in god's name are
we going to do now?
I show you.
Come on.
No, you can't!
Come on - help!
We're slowing down.
It's a station!
You can't leave him like that.
No?
Goodnight... sweetheart!
- Who's there?
- It's Tony.
Open the door.
Quickly!
What's the matter? What's happened?
Goldie... I'm in a jam.
George?
George!
- Oh!
- What's the matter?
It's that feller, poole...
- Hit me.
- Poole?
Yes, I was trying to turn him out.
He hit me with something.
Been lying here.
But why did he do it?
Don't know.
We-we were having an argument, I...
Oh!
Stabbed!
Oh, how horrible!
Oh! Why did you drag me into this?
You've got to go.
Hurry.
Oh, don't be a fool!
You know I can't go!
Listen to me.
There's no sense in both of us
being mixed up in this.
Come on.
- Oh, I can't!
- You must!
It'll be all right.
Don't worry.
Leave it to me.
Oh, I, I, I can manage.
But madame, you will tear it.
The door had better be opened.
Who is it?
Wait a minute.
But madame, you will spoil it.
- I have a key.
- Oh, no, you mustn't!
What do you want?
"Just for one moment, please."
As madame was leaving, her skirt
got caught in the door.
Oh, it's... it's quite all right
now, thank you.
- Goodnight.
- Bonsoir, madame.
- Bonsoir, monsieur.
- Goodnight, thank you.
Merci, monsieur.
Phew!
Don't bother.
Gold service, monsieur.
There!
That is better, n'est pas, monsieur?
He is killed?! Yes?
Yes, I know.
Bu-but I can explain it, it's...
It's quite simple.
- 1, I'll tell you about it...
- Pardon, monsieur.
It will be necessary for me to
send for the chef de train.
Oh, all right.
But this lady - you won't want her.
She can go back to her
compartment, can't she?
When the chef de train...
Arrives.
We'll all be questioned.
That's going to be the
devil of a job.
Yes.
You'd better go straight back to
your own compartment...
And act as though nothing
had happened.
That's not so easy.
Oh, pull yourself together, Tony!
For both of us.
Do you mean you're going
to stand by me?!
Yes.
You'd better go now.
Hurry now.
And remember - you don't know
anything about it at all.
Who's monsieur jolif?
Monsieur jolif - c'est la chef de police.
"Entrez!"
Pardon, monsieur...
Le crime?
- Je viens, tout de suite.
- Merci, monsieur.
Andiamo!
But he was as surprised and horrified...
As I was when he saw the body!
And yet you took steps
to ensure silence.
We've already explained why!
Perhaps the dead man had
discovered this intrigue of yours?
And the only remedy was
to silence him!
That's ridiculous.
Huh.
Why, I, I've never even met the
man before today.
And yet you introduced him to your...
- Friend, bishop, as a colleague.
- Well, of course I did!
That was to avoid the scandal -
it wasn't true!
I have questioned the other
members of your little party.
The men - rentzi and zurta - declare
that they met poole for the...
First time at the card table.
Yes, that's true, but...
- Can't you understand...
- And you - you alone...
Had met poole before.
You will admit...
That your story is unlikely.
But it's the truth!
Oh, for heaven's sake, man...
I've told you already!
Poole said...
That he was fri...
That he was frightened of something!
And that's why...
I'm trying to tell you that
poole said he was...
Frightened of something,
and that's why...
That's why he went for me
when, when I tried...
To turn him out.
And you have proof of this?
Again... I only have your word for it.
Of course I haven't got any proof -
I was unconscious, I was...
- I was knocked on the head. How...
- You will be kept...
Under observation, until
we get to Rome.
You're not going to arrest us?!
That is not for me to decide.
Oh, but...
But if there's any kind of trial...
I mean, everything will come out!
Surely you can let this lady go?
- If her husband got to know about it...
- Unfortunately, monsieur...
I am not a divorce lawyer.
I am merely a police official.
You will both be handed over to
the authorities, in Rome.
Oh, please!
The noted chief de la surete...
It's most satisfactory.
Yes, particularly for that
poor devil, Grant.
Jolif's probably grilling him
at this minute.
It does you much credit...
That tender heart of yours.
Well, I can't help thinking of him.
And about asta marvelle too, hmm?
Here, that's got nothing
to do with you!
A film star!
You fly high, my friend.
Oh, I knew her ages ago.
I haven't seen her for years.
I didn't even know she
was on the train.
No doubt it is this charming
lady who has...
Made you so difficult.
Oh, mills!
Sir?
- You'd better go along and order breakfast.
- Oh, very good, sir.
Yes, you needn't bother
about that case.
Oh, but I was going to read that speech
to you over breakfast, sir.
Well, don't!
Oh, in that case I'll just
go over it until, er...
Uh...
Mr mcbane!
Well?
Well, this isn't my case.
- What do you mean, it isn't your case?
- Well, it isn't, sir.
These are only a few odd papers.
You... blundering fool!
What do you suppose I pay you for?
Well, I'm sorry, sir, but I...
- Had it with me in the dining car last night...
- Shut up!
Oh!
There were some men playing
cards at the next table.
- Perhaps they took my...
- Well?
What are you going to do about it?
Well, I think I'd better see the controller
of the train about it, sir.
You'd better.
- I'm extremely sorry, sir...
- Oh, get out of it!
Yes, sir.
Oh, mills!
Yes, sir?
Order me a grapefruit for
breakfast, will you?
Yes, sir.
We sink or swim together.
I go under...
You go under.
Maybe you forget something, er...
The object of our journey.
What's that?
The Van dyck.
You're not going to be fool enough to
go after that now, are you?
Why not?
I regard it as my property.
I think our late friend said...
That someone had taken his
briefcase by mistake.
Now, I wonder...
Excuse me.
Can you tell me if anyone has
enquired about a briefcase?
A briefcase?
Yes, I took the wrong one by
mistake last night.
I'm sure it was in here.
Well, no one has spoken to
me about it, monsieur.
Oh, well...
Well, someone must have mine.
If anyone enquires...
The case is in mr mcbane's
compartment. Number seven.
- I'm his secretary, mills is my name.
- Oh.
And mr mcbane will be
along in a minute.
Oh. Garcon!
That's a bit of luck.
You will stay here and keep your
eyes open for this...
Mr mcbane.
I have a theory about this case.
Really?
The deceased wasn't killed at all!
Oh, but I assure you, monsieur!
It was a case of suicide.
Now, that is very original.
- But why suicide?
- Conscience.
"Conscience doth make
cowards of us all."
- Uh, pardon?
- Shakespeare.
You know, er...
The bard of avon.
The swan of, um...
Well, Shakespeare.
Oh, Shakespeare!
Now...
Point number one.
The deceased...
Had just won heavily at cards.
Why?
Because he'd rigged the pack.
- Rigged the pack?
- Yes.
He'll have a, um...
Avec les cartes.
You know - cardsharper.
You see?
He had duplicate packs with him.
They all do.
That was why he carried the briefcase.
Briefcase?
Oui, petite portmanteau.
Briefcase.
Oh! Oui, je comprendre!
Tell me, monsieur...
Did he take his briefcase back with
him to his compartment?
Of course.
It never left him.
Rather like me and my golf clubs.
There's sugar in this, mills.
Oh really, sir? I'm sorry.
You know perfectly well that
I never take sugar.
Oh, right.
I'd better order another one, sir.
No, you can't - sit down!
You seem to be incapable
of carrying out my...
Simplest instructions, mills.
I'll go without.
Mr mcbane!
Alistair mcbane.
Tres bien!
What are you doing in here?
Good morning.
What are you doing here?
Zurta is my name.
I heard this...
This little man say that he took...
The wrong briefcase...
From the dining car last night.
And as I have lost mine I came
in here to find it.
Indeed?
Mmm hmm.
Well, why couldn't you ask the...
Train conductor or my secretary
in the proper way?
Oh, er... I was in a hurry.
This is the case?
But...
There's something missing from it.
Mills, do you know anything
about this?
No, sir.
There was something of
value in the case.
- Indeed?
- Mmm hmm.
Well, is that any reason for turning my
compartment upside down?
Oh... I'm so sorry, I'm so careless, I...
Now, look here - you can't fool me!
You're just a common train thief.
Now, look here! I'm not a
man to be trifled with.
- Mills - ring that bell.
- Er, yes, sir.
No!
Get out!
One of you has taken something
out of the case.
But you are going to hand it over.
Now... now look here...
Now, now don't be a fool...
Now, uh, put that revolver away.
Not quite so brave now, hmm?
Come, come - hand it over.
Well, you must be raving mad!
We know nothing about it.
Now, now - put that away
and be sensible.
You daren't shoot!
No?
Monsieur mcbane!
Quiet!
Ouvrez la porte, s'il vous plait.
Answer!
Just a minute.
Open the door!
Mr mcbane, you are wanted.
"Ah... it is
important. Will you open the door?"
Say nothing about me.
"Quvrez la porte!"
"Open the door!"
Come out!
"Quvrez la porte!"
Come out!
"Quvrez la porte!"
What's going on in here?
I found this man...
Ransacking my compartment.
- He was trying to Rob you, monsieur?
- Undoubtedly!
He turned the whole compartment
upside down.
He said some property of his had
been stolen from his briefcase.
Oh, the briefcase.
- I will explain, er, this little...
- Non, non. Non, non.
You shall explain later.
Pardon me.
I must ask you to come and
see monsieur jolif.
He wishes to speak to you.
He is in the fourgon de bagages.
Jolif?
- What, the police inspector?
- Oui, monsieur.
What does he want me for?
He will explain himself...
If you can spare a few
moments, monsieur?
Certainly.
Certainly, I...
You'll allow me to attend to my hand
first. - Certainement, monsieur. Merci.
You weren't hurt, sir?
Oh, just a graze only.
If I hadn't shown considerable...
Presence of mind, mills, it might've...
Been very much worse.
Yes, sir.
I expect it's a splinter of glass
from the mirror.
Yes, well don't fool about now - go
and get something for it.
If I get off this train without a
rope round my neck...
I'll say goodbye to mr zurta
for good and all.
Tony - I'll leave this movie business
too, if you say so.
What, you mean...?
You and me?
Why not?
Think of it...
Free!
Free to go where you want,
to do what you want.
As long as you want.
No managers, no zurtas.
Why, you can start right...
Excuse me.
Zurta?
Yes, they've got him.
What are we going to do?
What's he going to say?
That's the point.
D'you suppose he'll drag you into it?
I don't know. He may.
Mr mcbane!
There's something hidden
behind here.
It's a picture.
It's the Van dyck!
You're mad!
No, sir. No, sir - look!
That's what the man was after.
Somebody must have placed it here...
While we were out of the room.
No.
No, it was in the briefcase.
You hid it!
Well...?
What are you doing?
I'm going to take this picture
to monsieur jolif.
You leave that where it is!
No, sir.
No, sir - it's my duty.
Course, it might help me
to forget my duty...
If I were offered some inducement.
Such as...?
Such as a directorship in
one of your companies.
At a salary of...
Shall we say...
Two thousand a year?
- Blackmail, hmm?
- No.
Not blackmail.
Only what you owe me.
For years of slave-driving...
At a salary you'd be ashamed to
offer a scullery maid.
Mr alistair mcbane...
The "millionaire philanthropist”...
The "soul of benevolence."
Why, you wouldn't offer a blind
beggar a farthing!
Signore jolif begs la signorina...
To spare him a few moments at once.
- He wants me?
- Si, signorina.
Well, I'll come with you.
Signore jolif's instructions are to bring
la signorina only.
- Oh, I'll come right away.
- Si.
You'd better stay here.
You are still quite certain...
That you wish me to question this lady?
I don't "wish" you to do so.
I think the lady may be very angry.
Indeed.
I must ask you to remain silent...
While I am questioning her.
Oh, I should not dream of
interrupting your tete-a-tete.
Ah!
Pray be seated, mademoiselle.
You wanted me?
I am investigating a murder...
Which took place on this
train last night.
You will appreciate...
That any answers you care to make...
May have very serious consequences.
A murder? Who?
Tell me, mademoiselle...
Have you seen this gentleman before?
Yes. Why?
Because he tells me...
That he visited your compartment...
Last night.
Suppose I was not alone in
my compartment...
Does that concern you?
Then you do not deny monsieur
zurta's statement?
May I ask why he found it
necessary to tell you this?
You may answer, monsieur.
For some reason, monsieur
jolif appears to suspect me.
He wish to know
what I did with my...
Time after one o'clock this morning.
You may guess how it pains me...
Io involve, er... others...
But I have, er, no alternative.
You understand?
I see.
Then I have no alternative either.
Well, mademoiselle?
Um, monsieur zurta's statement
is quite correct.
He was with me in my
compartment, last night.
At what time did he visit you?
Just after one o'clock.
- You seem very sure of the time.
- I was expecting him.
When... did he leave?
In the morning.
You understand, mademoiselle...
That you will be required to swear
to this statement...
On oath?
Yes, I understand that.
Well... if you're satisfied now,
monsieur jolif...
Maybe the lady and I go back
to our compartments?
I'm afraid not.
I am not content.
There is still...
Much to be explained.
And unless I get exactly what I want...
The newspapers are going to
write one more story...
Telling the public exactly...
How mr mcbane does
his art collecting!
Well, mills...
I suppose you have the
advantage of me.
And the... the directorship?
At... two thousand a year?
Yes.
I'm, I, I, I want this in writing.
- You doubt my word?
- Yes, I do!
Mills...
You mustn't develop a suspicious
nature, you know.
That would never do.
We should never get on.
I suppose...
You're quite sure that
is the Van dyck?
There's no fear of that, sir.
I know his work.
Let me see.
I'm afraid, mills...
They will never take your
word against mine.
What...?
What do you mean?!
You would not have made a
very good director, mills.
No! But, sir!
But mr mcbane...
Mr mcbane, sir - where are
you going?
What are you going to do?
When?
This morning I heard that mr mcbane
had possession of...
The case by mistake.
So I went to his compartment...
To, er, recover my losses.
I see.
Have I, er, your permission to
smoke, monsieur jolif?
- Certainly.
- Please?
Uh, no - thank you.
- Mademoiselle?
- No, thank you.
- Signore mcbane.
- Ah!
How do you do?
I think, monsieur...
I have seen your picture many times...
- In the newspapers.
- Ah!
Indeed.
Well, I expect you've seen
this picture too?
Yes... the Van dyck.
Stolen from the Murdoch collection.
How did you come to find it?
I found it behind a mirror
in my compartment.
A mirror in your compartment?
How it got there, I cannot imagine.
Can you, mills?
No, sir.
I begin to see.
The dead man had this picture
in his briefcase.
He knew that he was pursued.
He hid it...
For greater safety.
And that is what you were
searching for...
In the compartment.
Pardon, monsieur.
So, you were with this
lady last night?
Yes.
- Until morning?
- Yes.
And yet, the other occupant of your
compartment tells me...
That you returned at one-thirty.
How could he? He was asleep.
Asleep! How do you know if
you were with this lady?
Your story is a lie from
beginning to end.
What if it was?
What has that got to do with it?
That doesn't prove me to
be a murderer.
The man who killed poole
is the man who...
Stole the picture from him.
Do you ask me to believe that these...
Briefcases were exchanged
by accident?
Have you asked me to
believe that this...
Picture was found in mr mcbane's
compartment by accident?
Are you so stupid...
That you cannot see that...
Mr mcbane is the man you want?!
You two young people have given
me a great deal of trouble.
You, mademoiselle...
Have told a story which is false.
You, monsieur...
Have confessed to being an associate
of the dead man, zurta.
It is all most irregular.
However, after all...
I am on my holidays.
Au revoir, mademoiselle.
You mean that...?
We can go?
They say, monsieur, that I
never forget a face.
But I fear that my memory...
Is not as good as it used to be.
I think I shall forget yours.
Oh, thank you!
But never yours, mademoiselle.
Tony!
- Got your gloves?
- Yes.
- And your bag?
- Yes.
- You sure you've left nothing?
- I'm quite sure.
Congratulations!
So they've let you orf!
Splendid. Splendid.
- Delighted. Delighted.
- Thank you.
You've been very lucky.
You know what these foreigners are?
Oh, but jolif says we've got nothing
to worry about now.
Yes, well... truth will out and
justice will prevail.
- Very embarrassing for the lady, though.
- Yes, very embarrassing.
Excuse me a moment.
- You know that...
- Ah, bishop.
Tom...
I want to talk to you.
You know, this has been all
rather a ghastly mistake.
Mrs maxted's going back
home at once...
And I'm going on to Naples, alone.
- Can I rely on you, I'm sure...
- My dear feller, of course...
Of course.
Thanks.
Silent as the grave.
Discretion is the better part
of wagons-lits!
Well, goodbye old boy, goodbye.
- Goodbye, mrs maxted.
- Goodbye.
Quick.
Well, well, well, well, well,
well, well, gentlemen...
So you managed to get here, eh?
Well, how are you all?
My arrival doesn't appear to have
excited much interest, mills.
There's nobody here to welcome me.
No, sir. I notified all the news
agencies too, sir.
All right, all right, all
right - don't scare me.
We mustn't waste time or we'll miss
miss asta marvelle, now.
All you boys gotta do is to...
Follow me and I'll fix everything.
Come on.
Benissimo!
Believe me, boys, this is gonna be the
greatest day for Rome since...
Julius Caesar was bumped off
for the ides of march.
Charity doesn't seem to get one
very far, mills. Does it?
No, sir.
Think I'd better...
Look out for a Porter, sir.
You'll do nothing of the kind.
Wasting money in that way.
Surely you can manage that
baggage by yourself?
Yes, sir.
And who's this?
He's the secretary for entertainment.
Oh, yeah? And who's this over here?
He's his grace, the
Duke of montelade.
Come here, Duke.
Madame marvelle's been deeply touched
by this reception, gentlemen.
Deeply touched.
She'll be here any moment, now -
any moment, now.
- Vous desirez, monsieur?
- Er...
Qu... quelle...
Er, pour registration...
Er, mais le grange en retard...
Er, pour Rome.
Vous avez ce bon, monsieur,
quel pour voyage?
Oh.
N'importe, n'importe.
Allez! Allez! Allez! Allez! Allez!
Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh!
Oh, mon dieu! Enfin.
Can you speak english?
Hello, my sweet.
Do you know...
I thought you were never coming.
Am I very late?
Do you know, I... I nearly didn't come.
Why?
- Didn't you want to?
- Of course I did.
- But there is your wife?!
- Oh, don't be afraid of that.
Besides, as a matter fact I've
telephoned her already.
- Oh, we're going to be so terribly happy.
- Oh... I know we are...
But we-we must be careful.
Well, of course we'll be careful!
I've thought about everything.
Come on... we've only got
a minute or two.
Attention!
- There you are.
- Thank you.
Do you like Paris, madame?
I love it!
Oh, you were lovely in your last picture.
How nice.
And do you like Rome, madame?
- I love it!
- Yeah, just crazy about it.
Such a beautiful city.
Acceptez les fleurs, madame?
Oh, how sweet.
Thank you.
Yes, it is a beautiful city.
So different from New York.
So, er... old!
Old? I'll say it's old! It's got whiskers
on it stretchin' from here to bc.
Do we understand you're going to Rome
to make a picture, madame?
Yes.
Yeah, she's starring in
the english version...
Of an Italian talkie. And the contract...
Say, don't blame me if it gets...
In the papers, but it
runs over five figures.
I have so many friends in Rome.
Yeah, they're the cream of Italian society.
Don't think she's "high hat", no!
In spite of all her culture she remains
the "simple, home-loving girl".
What about this rumour of your engagement
to the Marquis de masurier?
Oh, I'm afraid I can't say anything
about that for a while.
Yeah, but you can take
it from me there's no...
Smoke without fire! Eh, gentlemen?
- May we have a picture, miss marvelle?
- Yes, of course.
Look this way, monsieur?
Goodbye.
Goodbye. Au revoir, madame.
Mcbane is my name.
Alistair mcbane.
- Knew you at once, sir. If I may say so?
- Ah! Mmm. Indeed.
If you'll let me have the number of
your compartment, sir.
Well, I have a special compartment
reserved for me, of course...
But my fool of a secretary's
gone off with the tickets.
Ah!
Where the devil have you been?
Sorry, sir, the bookstall... er, these...
Papers you asked me to get, I-it's...
Crowded, sir - I had to wait.
Hmm.
Well, that's no reason why I should wait!
Now don't stand there like a fool, man.
- Give him the tickets.
- Yes, sir.
Oh, for heaven's sake, man!
Pull yourself together!
Auf wiedersehen, gute reise.
Auf wiedersehen, gute reise.
En voiture, s'il vous plait!
Au revoir, au revoir, au revoir, au revoir.
En voiture, s'il vous plait, monsieur.
Au revoir. Au revoir.
Well, we're off.
- Well, I'll be seein' ya.
- Okay.
En voiture, s'il vous plait!
Attention!
No, no, no, no. Nol!
Give that to me.
Er...
Er, je le garde... moi-meme.
Well, that was a near thing!
Very, monsieur.
You have your tickets, sir?
Yes, here they are.
Oh!
Alors... tout va bien, monsieur?
Oui. C'est tout.
- C'est tout. Merci.
- Merci.
I hadn't time to reserve places.
Pity, monsieur.
We have no vacant compartments.
But, I think I can find you...
Two odd berths.
We, er... must separate?
I'm afraid so, monsieur.
- Will you come this way please?
- Mmm hmm.
Gentlemen.
I am...
Overwhelmed...
By your suggestion...
That the new ward...
At the metropolitan hospital...
Should bear...
My name.
My... humble name.
Though I feel I am...
Unworthy of the honour...
It gives me...
Great pleasure...
To accede to your request.
May I suggest...
That it be called the alistair...
Mcbane...
Memorial ward.
In... capitals, mills.
I feel...
That a gift may be of some use to you.
I therefore have pleasure in
enclosing a cheque...
For...
Say, two thousand...
Three thousand...
Say five thousand, mills.
- Merci Mille fois, monsieur.
- Mmm?
That's all right.
I remain... etc., etc., etc., etc.
Now take down another.
Pardon, madame.
- Merci.
- Merci beaucoup, monsieur.
Darling!
What is it?
Nothing.
I'm a little afraid, that's all.
Well, there's no need to be.
I suppose not.
The train has brought me down to earth.
Husbands become such a habit.
Mmm hmm. So do wives.
Still, darling...
We're going to have a change.
I can't help wondering what would...
Happen if Jim got to hear of it.
Well, I'm only wondering about you.
Supposing there's someone on
the train who knows us?
My dear, why should there be?
You know...
I believe you're still
a little bit in love...
With that husband of yours.
Are you?
No, of course not.
How could I be, after what he did?
- Have you seen him?
- No.
What's more important - he
has not seen me.
Well, how do you know he's
on the train?
My informa...
My information is always correct.
If it is not, then there is trouble
for the informant.
Well, he might have been warned.
It was attended to.
He thinks we are still in London.
Pardon me.
What are we going to do?
You would recognise him
if you saw him?
What, from this?
Yes.
Then you take a promenade down the
train and keep your eyes open.
See you later in my compartment,
when we order our dinner.
Excuse me.
Certainly, monsieur.
A beautiful day.
Yes.
Warm, though.
Yes.
It will be hot in Rome.
Yes.
You are going to Rome, monsieur?
Yes.
I too!
My first holiday in four years.
Yeah.
You are on holiday, monsieur?
No such luck!
Business.
Oh, c'est dommage!
Phew!
It will be hot in the hills, too.
In the hills?
Yes.
You see...
I go to Rome...
For my hobby.
- Yeah.
- Lam, er...
Coleopterist, yes? - Eh?
Yes... what you call a "bug hunter".
Beetles.
Beetles?!
That must be very interesting.
From baron bernelli, miss.
What, again?
Put them with the others.
Come on.
Well, what now?
Why, dinner's ready.
Got it all fixed.
If you come to the dining car...
I've got a gag that'll knock 'em cold.
Oh, Sam!
Now listen...
As soon as you sit down: Biff!
We take a picture, see? You know,
with all the waiters round.
You signing menus with one hand, and...
Throwing kisses to the garcons
with the other.
Huh, I can hardly wait!
Yup, always on the job.
Just full of ideas.
"Think up a gag - then plug it!" -
That's my slogan.
I know, Sam, but I'd like to be...
My own sweet self, once in a while.
And, oh boy, that feeling's growing!
Yeah, but I wouldn't let that get too
much of a hold on yer.
After all, publicity is publicity.
And, say, when you eat...
Boy, they'll be sittin'
up at the soup...
And... paralysed at the Demi-tasse.
I suppose everybody knows
I'm on the train.
Why, sure!
What d'you take me for?
Think I'm dumb?
Now get this, Sam.
I want a rest.
I want to be myself until we get to Rome.
Rome?
Rome?!
Now you're talkin'.
Say...
Have I got a gag for you!
Say, there's gonna be the swellest
reception...
- Carpets all laid down on the platform...
- Now listen, Sam!
I'm so sick and tired of
being "exhibit a"!
You promised me a rest on this trip.
You know how I feel.
Yeah, I know how you feel.
I know just how you feel.
Still, you can come in the
dining car, can't you?
No!
- But, I made all the...
- I'm staying here!
- I made all the arrangements.
- Well then, run along and "un-make" them.
Say, what about that champagne...
And the caviar the Russian
prince sent you?
Personally I'm having a glass of milk
and one aspirin, right here.
But the champagne?!
Shoo!
- And the caviar?!
- Scram!
And then...
I put him in my little bottle.
I cap the stopper on.
Sol
he is caught.
And from the bottle...
There is no escape.
Really?
Very interesting.
Hmm.
And then...
There is another thing.
I often find...
Entrez.
Oh, pardon, monsieur.
He tells me that I have some
friends on the train.
Er, I must have a word with them.
If you will excuse me.
Oh, er, certainly.
No, thanks.
Quel compartiment?
Voiture deux, compartiment trois, monsieur.
Merci.
Peculiar old fellow, that.
- You think so, monsieur?
- Yes.
He's been telling me all
about beetles.
Apparently he catches 'em.
Ah, oui. That is his great hobby.
Ah.
Well, he's a bit of a bore...
Though quite harmless.
- Not so harmless, monsieur.
- Hmm?
Between ourselves...
Monsieur jolif catches other things
besides these beetles.
Oh... what's that?
He is head of the surete.
- The surete?
- Mmm hmm.
- The police?
- Mmm hmm.
"Papa jolif", they call him.
And, it is said, that he never
forgets a face.
Monsieur has finished with this?
Oh, yes.
Thank you.
Yes, thanks.
"Dinner is served. First service."
"Dinner service. Premier service."
"Dinner is served. First service."
Er, I say... steward?
Er... what's the dinner like?
The dinner? Ah, it is very good, monsieur.
Petite minute, monsieur. I have
the menu here.
A la carte, you can have...
Here, sir. Everything is ready, sir.
Yeah, so I see, so I see.
My word, but that's swell, eh?
Well, I'm sorry to say madame marvelle...
Won't be able to come here.
Oh, I'm very sorry, sir.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Et voila, monsieur.
Could I... I want to change
my compartment.
Oh!
You're not comfortable then, monsieur?
Well, er...
Er, what?
Merci.
Er, I've got a double compartment,
and I want a single one.
Oh, I regret...
Well, if there's anything more to pay...?
Hmm, I am sorry but it is...
- Practically impossible.
- Oh, no, but look here, I...
Must change my compartment.
- Oh...
- Well, it's, erm...
Er... it's too noisy...
It's... too near the engine.
And my nerves...
Oh, it's a... pity.
Er, there is room in a double compartment.
- But, it is a lady - you understand?
- Yes, yes.
Er... later perhaps?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, as
soon as you can.
Er, poole. Poole is the name.
P-double o-l-e.
- Oh.
- Poole.
Very good, monsieur.
- Er, le ticket...
- Oh, yes.
Thank you, for... just the two?
Yes, just the two of us.
Merci, monsieur.
Bless my soul...
If it isn't George Grant!
Well, this is a pleasant surprise.
I thought I knew that voice!
- How are you?
- How are you, you old scoundrel?
Oh, very well, thanks.
Anybody sitting here?
- Well, I, er...
- I'll join you.
What a small world it is, to be sure.
Bit different from the old surbiton
golf course. Eh, George?
Yes, yes.
How's the wife?
Oh, um...
Er, she's very well, thanks.
- And the chicks?
- Oh, splendid.
Oh, good, good.
They aren't with you, I see.
No, no, no, no - no, they're
not here now.
Well, this is a jolly reunion,
that's what I call this.
Huh, we must have a drink to celebrate.
What will you have, George?
Oh, thanks very much.
I, I'll have a gin and it.
Er, your friend?
Hmm? Ermm...
- Whiskey?
- Whiskey.
Er, garcon!
Er, s'il vous plait...
Er...
Un gin and it and deux whiskey,
er, et Perrier.
Oui, monsieur.
I say, I didn't catch your friend's name.
Oh, um...
- Oh, this is Mr...
- Poole.
Er, mr poole...
He's a business acquaintance
of mine.
He's, er, helping me out
on the continent.
What! Not "the" poole of London, eh?
Well, delighted to meet you, mr poole.
You mustn't mind my sense
of humour, mr poole.
My wife often says I'll be the death
of her, with my little cracks.
- You know me - don't you, George?
- Oh, yes, yes.
Er, this is mr bishop.
He's a neighbour of mine at home.
Yes. We're brother golfers
on the greensward.
Divot diggers at dagenham, eh, George?
Yes, um, um...
Mr poole is sharing my compartment...
Number twelve, in the next carriage.
Oh, oh yes...
Sharing the same dog box, eh?
Ah!
Here we are. Here's to it.
C'est pour madame?
- Er...
- Non... non.
Er, no, no, no, that's for me.
Er, er, et monsieur.
Et moi.
Cheers.
Oh, we shall be able to enjoy
a nice game of...
- Poker later on, eh?
- Yes.
I was wondering how I was going to
beguile the tedium of the voyage.
Yes, it's a bit of luck, eh?
What do you say, George?
- Yes.
- Yes.
What do you say, mr poole?
Oh, yes. Yes.
Yes, a bit of luck - for all of us.
Yes.
- Yes.
- Well...
Hooray.
- Hooray.
- Hooray
there we are, now. What
about the eats?
Here's that notice from the echo, sir.
Read it.
"At the next table I saw mr
alistair mcbane..."
"Famous millionaire, philanthropist
and art collector."
"Who, as usual, looked the soul of
kindly benevolence."
Ah!
Have they mentioned me
in connection with...
That library bequest at canning town?
I'll see, sir.
Ho! Say, listen to this.
"From shopgirl to screen star: The story
of my life, by asta marvelle."
- I didn't okay that!
- No, but I did.
Let me see it.
No, this is only the...
First installment, up to
the time you got...
That job in the jewellery
store in New York.
Oh, say, listen.
"Next week, miss asta marvelle will
tell you how a robbery at her..."
"Place of employment gave her the
chance of a screen career."
"Our readers will no doubt remember..."
Let me see that.
Great stuff, huh?
See what I'm gettin' yer?
Baby, you'll slay 'em!
When I get through with this campaign...
What you eat for breakfast will
be front page news!
Same old bunk!
Makes me sick!
I like that bit, mills.
Read it again.
Yes, sir.
"Only last week he made a generous..."
"Donation to the re-building fund of
the west London library."
"I hear from a well-informed quarter..."
"That we may look for his name
in the next honours list."
Ah.
Not bad, eh?
Very gratifying indeed, sir.
Oh, by the by, mills.
Yes, sir?
I see from your accounts you took a
taxi from the hotel this morning.
Yes, sir.
Only eight francs, sir.
Well, I don't pay you
to ride about in taxis!
Well, I-1 was detained, sir.
There was cables to answer.
Well, get up earlier.
It's cheaper!
Yes, sir.
And don't bite your nails.
It doesn't look as though they're going to
recover the missing Van dyck, sir.
Really?
Does it say something there about it?
Well, just a paragraph, sir.
Read it out.
"It is now ten days since
the theft of the..."
"Van dyck picture from the
Murdoch collection."
"The police are still without a single..."
"Clue as to the whereabouts
of the picture..."
"Or the thieves."
"However, the police are of
the opinion that..."
Yes, well, it serves Murdoch right.
He should have accepted my offer.
Yes, sir.
He must be kicking himself now.
All the principal collectors were after it.
Yes.
And mine was the highest bid... and
the damned fool turned me down.
I wanted that painting.
I'd have gone to any lengths to get it.
I wonder where it is now?
Er, yes, that, that's er, soixante franc.
Yeah, good.
Yeah, well, um, er, pour vouz.
Merci.
Merci, monsieur.
Well, er...
Oughtn't we to be getting back
to our compartment?
Yes, I suppose we'd better.
See you later.
Oh, no, that's all right.
I'm coming along to your compartment
for a smoke and a yarn.
Ah!
Now, don't forget that game of poker.
Eh, mr poole?
Not a bad dinner, was it?
No, not too bad.
Though I shouldn't like too much of
this foreign, mixed-up stuff.
The poulet roti wasn't bad, though.
No.
- I say, George.
- Hmm?
Did you notice that little
"piece" at our table?
What?
That little "piece"?
Oh.
Rather tasty, I thought. Didn't you?
Mmm.
Any idea who she is?
No, I-I've never seen her.
French, of course.
- Well, I must say that, er...
- Damn!
I-I've left my cigarettes on the table.
Look here - you fellers go on.
I'll follow you later.
- Here, I say, George.
- Yeah.
None of your larks.
I saw her first, you know!
I'm so sorry, darling.
That was a near thing.
But... but that fellow bishop's
the most awful scandalmonger.
I didn't dare risk it.
Something like that would happen!
Yes, I know.
But it was jolly decent of that
fellow poole to help us out.
You know, I think we'd better separate.
- No!
- Just for the moment.
I'll get a conductor, and he can
find you a vacant place.
And then?
Oh, it'll be all right.
I'll get rid of those two.
You won't worry, will you?
No.
Everything will be all right,
I promise you.
Well?
Not a sign of him.
Yeah, he rests - he's laying low.
Well, we can't search the whole train.
Sooner or later he will show himself and...
And then...
I think of him often!
We must be careful - we can't
take unnecessary risks.
Are you losing your nerve?
No.
No, it's this hanging about.
If you wish to occupy your
too-active mind...
Go to the train controller.
Ask him to show you the
list of passengers.
Tell him you are looking for a...
Friend of, Mr... Mr Kelsey, or...
Kelsey? Well, that's his real name.
- He's hardly likely to...
- I know, I know.
He'll probably be using another.
But there's never any harm in
trying, and if you just...
- I'm sorry.
- How do you do?
How do you do?
Bye-bye.
- See you later.
- Mmm hmm.
And the reception committee...
Believe me, it's unbelievable!
One prince, a couple of counts, three
Dukes and a whole raft of barons...
Besides half the pressmen in Italy.
No doubt I shall be a sensation.
And, say - I wouldn't be a bit surprised...
If old man Mussolini himself
wasn't in the line-up.
Yes. Now I've heard about enough
about myself for one day, Sam.
- Well, I was only doin' the best for you!
- I know.
I know, Sam. Now run along and let
me relax for a while, will you?
Well, after all - publicity is publicity.
And don't forget I was once press
agent to Tom mix's horse.
Good enough for anybody, ain't it?
Oh, I beg your...
Goldie!
I think you've made a mistake, er...
I'm madame marvelle.
Mistake! I couldn't make a
mistake about you!
Tony.
Don't you remember?
Tony!
Oh, I knew you would.
We can't talk here.
- Well?
- Well...
Now that you've found me,
what do you want?
Found you? I didn't even know
you were on the train.
No, it's good to see you again.
You weren't following me, were you?
No!
Well, why should I?
Oh, I'm sorry, Tony...
One gets suspicious of old friends...
Who know things.
Well, if it worries you...
- My being here, I'll clear off!
- Oh, please don't, no.
Sit down.
It's four years ago.
It's all dead and forgotten.
Yes, I know.
Sometimes the past jumps out at you.
See what my manager showed me today.
It even mentions the robbery.
Brought it all back, somehow.
Supposing it came out that I
was mixed up in it?
It can't. It won't.
Well, you and I are the only
two people who know.
What about ricole?
He's dead.
What fools we were to listen to him.
Oh, I don't know.
After all, it was through
you getting our...
Pictures in the papers that you're
where you are now.
I know.
But you...
It doesn't seem right somehow.
What are you doing now?
I'm going to Rome.
Yes. It is the Rome express, isn't it?
What is it, Tony? The same old game?
Why don't you get out of it?
You're losing your grip, Tony.
Why don't you pull yourself out,
while there's still time?
Ah, hell. What's the use?
Who cares, anyway?
Mmm... someone or other...
Maybe.
Maybe not.
I must be going.
Shall I see you again?
If you want to.
Do you?
I'll tell you when I see you.
Well, don't worry too much
about the grimy past...
Madame marvelle!
Pardon, madame.
- Merci bien, madame.
- Thank you.
Oh, I'm afraid I'm disturbing you.
Er, not particularly.
Indeed, your presence is rather an asset.
In case of an accident we
could assist each other.
Oh, quite!
Unless, of course, we were both
disabled at the same time!
Aren't you being rather pessimistic?
Oh, I always go through life
expecting the very worst.
But why?
Well, it's so nice if it doesn't happen!
Now, you know the sebling course.
Once you're off the fairway...
You're in the consomme.
In the what?
In the consomme - soup.
And I remember at the tenth...
You're going to scream at this -...
I gave my ball a great big swipe...
And away it went, over the
hill, out of sight...
On to the green...
This is a yell -...
And plunked into the cam.
Now, my partner, Charlie, said to me...
You know Charlie...
Er, Charlie wood, not Charlie purnell...
Well, Charlie said to me...
Pot luck, old boy... pot luck." Huh.
Yeah.
Yes, but you haven't heard it yet.
It's what I said to him!
Now, I said to him...
"Charlie", I said... "Charlie"...
It was a scream.
Oh, oh, dear. Always goes well.
Always makes me laugh.
Well...
I must be goin'.
Oh, sorry.
I'll be back for that game of cards.
Oh, yes, yes. We'll think about that, yes.
Yes.
And remember, I don't "slice" at poker.
See you later.
Well, now that our golfing friend's gone...
I won't trouble you to stay any longer.
Thank you for helping me out of that hole.
Don't mention it.
Besides, you're not troubling me.
I'm very comfortable where I am.
But you want to go back to your own
compartment, don't you?
But this is my compartment.
Didn't I hear you telling
that prize bore...
That we were travelling together?
I know.
But you saw why I did it.
Oh, yes.
I saw.
But I've an even bigger prize
bore in my carriage.
- Yes, but, look here, I say...
- Well, of course...
If you'd like to... find me
another compartment...
Single for preference...
I might move.
Cigarette?
But I tell you, I have nothing to declare!
I have no silk underclothes -
I always wear woollen!
Woollen?
Ca va.
Er, je ne pas declare.
Ouvrez!
Ah, non - il faut examiner.
Well, there's nothing there,
I tell you. Rien!
Ah hal
what's the matter?
- Aah...
- Ah ha!
There's nothing to laugh at!
They're artistic.
Oh, very artistic, monsieur. Ca va.
Merci.
Er, non, non.
I found that man poole a
single compartment.
It'll be free at one o'clock - when
we get to dutres.
You can come in then.
Now, you're... you're not going to let
me down, are you, darling?
- Oh, no, but you...
- Oh, I promise you...
Everything will be all right.
Pardon, monsieur.
Yes?
Will you come
along and open your bags, please?
Oh, all right.
Damn the customs.
You won't let me down? Remember...
One o'clock in the morning.
Bless you, darling.
Um...
- Other luggage?
- No!
Bon.
The man is still on the train.
No one has left at this stop.
What's the matter, my friend?
Nothing.
You cannot, er... mean that.
Well, if you want to know, I'm
fed up with the game.
So soon?
We are only just beginning.
Oh, I'll see this through.
When you do meet poole, what
are you gonna do?
Get the Van dyck back...
- For one thing.
- And the other?
Need you ask?
I'm not very fond of double-crossers
but why talk of that now?
Let's have a drink.
Garcon!
- Two more.
- Ah!
And a whiskey for me while
you're about it, garcon.
Oui, monsieur.
Yes, I could do with a drink.
I've just had a visit from those
customs chaps!
They are a nuisance.
I have had... trouble with them
once or twice myself.
Well, they've been poking and
prying in my...
Baggage as if I was hiding something!
Nosy lot of elves. Huh!
Still, I suppose it's their job.
Ah!
- Now we're talking.
- How much?
No, no, no, please, allow me.
If you don't mind.
Combien?
Er, cing francs.
Let me see now, that's er...
Yes, here we are.
Merci, monsieur.
Ca va.
Thank you.
- Well, here's fun!
- Where?
Oh, I see!
You're the same as me.
You've got a sense of humour.
Look here... I've got an idea.
Two of the boys and meself are
having a game of poker...
80 why don't you join us?
You know, just a friendly game.
- No, I'm afraid not...
- Now, look here.
The five of us can play in here.
What do you say?
- Er, yes, we will.
- Splendid.
Now, you wait here and I'll
go fetch the boys.
Yes, yes, we will wait here.
They'll be tickled to death. Simply
tickled to death.
Well, what's the idea?
Why neglect opportunity?
A fool is a fool all the world over.
We will win some small change.
Waiter!
Aren't you going to bed yet?
Not just yet.
I'm not sleepy.
Well, I am, though I doubt
if I shall sleep.
Do we cross over any Bridges
during the night?
I don't know, why?
Oh, have you never thought?
A bridge must weaken every
time a train crosses it.
Some day or other it will give way!
I suppose it must.
All I hope is that I'm not picked
up unconscious.
Some of these railway men
are so familiar.
Ah!
Now I've made up a party for this little
flutter of ours in the dining car.
Come along.
All right.
But I warn you - I'm turning
in by one o'clock.
Ho ho! That'll be plenty of time to
put us in the rough.
What about you, mr poole?
Well, if you don't mind, I'd rather not.
Afraid of our handicap, eh?
No, and I'm not very partial to crowds.
If we're going to play in the dining car...
Oh, it'll be empty, man.
Except for us.
Come on?
Oh, all right.
- You can count me in.
- Splendid.
Let's go!
Remember...
You're moving out when we come back.
Yes.
One o'clock.
Pardon.
- Shall I make up the beds?
- Yes, please.
Yeah.
Now, come along.
You'll like it when we get there.
They're a couple of jolly good fellows...
If I'm any judge of human nature.
Le cap azur, monsieur?
Yes, yes, and, er, some more whiskey.
- Bien.
- Not for me.
Well, here we are, gentlemen.
Let me see, I didn't catch your name.
Zurta.
This is mr poole, of London.
"The" poole of London, in fact!
Very glad to meet you, "mr poole".
And this is my dear old
friend, George Grant.
One of the very best.
- How do you do?
- How'd you do?
How do you do?
Well, come on, boys.
Won't you sit down...
Mr poole?
Ah! The garcon. Come on -
les cartes.
Voila, monsieur.
Here we are.
Here you are, George.
Oh, right-o.
Une autre chaise, that's right.
Well...
We've got the weapons
for the offensive.
Now we can get on with the affray.
Will you excuse me for a moment, I...
I've forgotten something, I've...
I've left...
I've forgotten my money.
Well, haven't you got enough
to carry on with?
You can rely on me to help
you out, mr poole.
Splendid.
Now, what's it gonna be?
Jackpots or straight poker?
- Straight poker, I think.
- Yes, I think so.
Ah.
What... what's going to be the stakes?
Oh, I dunno, er, hundred francs?
What do you say, mr poole?
Yes... that's all right.
I hope.
And, er, the lads deal, eh?
Yes.
Oh!
Oh, I say, the Ace of spades!
That's unlucky!
Poor old poole.
- Perfect.
- Your deal, poole.
You know, I've been looking forward
to this journey for weeks.
- I always like a game of poker.
- What's this, mr poole?
For your winnings?
Winnings? Don't be silly.
This is going to be my lucky night.
Well, come on, let's get on with it.
What are the penalties?
Oh, a hundred francs for four,
don't you think?
Yes, that'll do me.
Oh, garcon!
What are you fellers going to drink?
- Whiskey?
- Whiskey, yes.
Well, how about the old firewater?
Yes, that'll do me.
I'll come in.
- Garcon, er, whiskey for four, please.
- Oui, monsieur.
Er, garcon, bring, bring a bottle will you?
Oui, monsieur.
- May as well have a bottle, I think.
- Oh, I should say so.
Well, I'll come in for a hundred.
Here you are, sir.
I think you'll find everything correct.
All right.
Leave it.
Very good, sir.
And, er... what time will you
take breakfast, sir?
- Nine o'clock.
- Very good, sir.
Goodnight, sir.
Goodnight.
I'll make it two hundred...
And fifty.
And, mr poole?
Um...
And fifty.
I'm out.
Hundred and ninety-five.
Yes, all right. I'll see.
All right.
What you got?
Full house, by George! Ho!
Well, that sees me.
And me.
Well, that's another hundred I owe you.
Well, the lord loveth a cheerful giver.
You've begun the evening well, mr poole.
Let's hope he'll end it...
As fortunately. May I take
my note back?
Thank you.
No.
I'll open. I'll open for
another twenty-five.
That's fifty. Play for seventy-five.
I'm in.
And us.
I say, George, we're in with a
bunch of crooks!
We'll make it a hundred and fifty.
Raise you.
Good lord!
Damn fool.
And again.
What have you got?
Four queens.
God in heaven!
I might have known... you'd have
one more picture than me.
Never say die, mr zurta.
Perhaps you'll get it later.
Well, let's see what you've got.
What, again!?
God! You know, this sort of
thing isn't human!
Who asked you to play, anyway?
Your money, poole.
Good gracious me! Look at this!
I've never seen anything like it. Ho!
Oh, I'll have to tell old Charlie
about this.
Talk about the demon luck!
Ten to one. That's that.
Here's the two hundred, poole.
- Two hundred for a straight flush, was it?
- Yeah.
Yes, here's my two hundred.
Two.
Well, I've never seen anything
like that in all my puff!
A lucky devil.
What do they say, "unlucky in cards..."
"Or lucky in love", whatever it is.
A very successful wind-up of the
evening for you, poole, my boy.
Well, I...
I say, look here...
Couldn't we play a little longer?
What?
Want to rook us a bit more
do you, you rascal!
Not me!
I'm tired. I'm going to get some sleep.
Yes, I think we have played
enough, mr poole.
Oh, yes, - all right.
Pourvoir - for the waiter.
Merci, monsieur. Merci.
That cleans me out.
Don't forget your winnings, mr poole.
What, forgetting his winnings!?
He must be a multi-millionaire!
I yeah.
Come on, mr poole.
Trust that George, you know...
Wait until I tell Charlie about
this, you'll see...
Merci bien, monsieur.
Oh!
- Merci beaucoup, monsieur.
- Please.
- Merci.
- Merci. Merci beaucoup, monsieur.
- Well, here we are.
- This is rather cosy!
Well...
I think you'd better thank us for
a very profitable evening!
Yes.
- Thanks.
- Never mind.
One of these nights we'll
have our revenge!
What do you say, mr, er, zurta?
Yes.
We will have our revenge.
Goodnight... mr poole.
Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, mr poole.
Well, goodnight you fellers.
Oh, um...
See that no one disturbs me before
eight o'clock, will you.
Eight o'clock, monsieur? Very good, sir.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, goodnight.
Well, goodnight, mr zurta.
Er, goodnight, mr, um...
- Bishop.
- Bishop, bishop.
Yes, bishop by name but not by nature!
What are you doing?
Look here, Grant...
I'm not going to turn out.
- Not turning out?!
- No, I...
Can't.
But, this is the limit!
You made a bargain with me and
you'll have to keep to it.
But, I can't.
- I'm sorry.
- Sorry?!
You seem to think "sorry" is an
excuse for anything.
Well, it isn't.
Go on - get out of the way.
Oh, look here...
Don't, I-i-i-listen to me, I...
I can explain everything.
You don't know what you're doing!
Don't I?
I know what I'm doing.
I'm turning you out.
Oh, no, look here! Listen
to me, please...
Don't do that. You don't understand!
You don't know what this means...
To me, it means everything -
everything!
Oh, I...
I know that you've got your secret...
But I've got mine, too...
I don't give a damn about
your secrets - come on!
You can't do anything while
Grant's in there.
Don't worry.
I will persuade him to come
out to talk to you...
While I talk...
To mr poole.
Is he dead?
- No.
- No?
In any case... that's his affair.
We are going to have a
little talk, mr poole.
Zurta... you...
And then you are going
for a long holiday.
You remember when the
picture was stolen?
Well...
My buyer didn't take it.
I see.
I told you that he'd paid me...
Well, he hadn't.
Oh, but...
Butthen I heard...
There was somebody who was prepared...
.Totakeitin Rome...
If I would deliver it.
Continue, continue.
Oh, you'd have got your share, all right!
I swear you would!
I meant to send it on to
you, from Rome.
Mmm hmm.
I see.
Oh, but I...
I can tell you the man's name!
Yes, er...
Or, I don't know...
Well, you can...
You can take the Van dyck.
I don't want it!
You can take my share and the Van...
Here!
Oh, but I...
There must be some mistake.
This isn't my case.
What the...
Well?
I'll find it for you.
I swear I will.
It must be somewhere on the train.
Here...
Take my winnings.
Take the lot.
That is all?
Yes.
Okay.
You need the holiday... badly...
My friend.
- Is he dead?
- Mmm hmm.
He tried to use a knife.
I used it!
And Grant?
Mmm...
He is only sleepy. It happened
before I came in.
They must have had a...
Slight argument.
Why d'you do it?
You must have been mad?!
No.
Only annoyed.
And what in god's name are
we going to do now?
I show you.
Come on.
No, you can't!
Come on - help!
We're slowing down.
It's a station!
You can't leave him like that.
No?
Goodnight... sweetheart!
- Who's there?
- It's Tony.
Open the door.
Quickly!
What's the matter? What's happened?
Goldie... I'm in a jam.
George?
George!
- Oh!
- What's the matter?
It's that feller, poole...
- Hit me.
- Poole?
Yes, I was trying to turn him out.
He hit me with something.
Been lying here.
But why did he do it?
Don't know.
We-we were having an argument, I...
Oh!
Stabbed!
Oh, how horrible!
Oh! Why did you drag me into this?
You've got to go.
Hurry.
Oh, don't be a fool!
You know I can't go!
Listen to me.
There's no sense in both of us
being mixed up in this.
Come on.
- Oh, I can't!
- You must!
It'll be all right.
Don't worry.
Leave it to me.
Oh, I, I, I can manage.
But madame, you will tear it.
The door had better be opened.
Who is it?
Wait a minute.
But madame, you will spoil it.
- I have a key.
- Oh, no, you mustn't!
What do you want?
"Just for one moment, please."
As madame was leaving, her skirt
got caught in the door.
Oh, it's... it's quite all right
now, thank you.
- Goodnight.
- Bonsoir, madame.
- Bonsoir, monsieur.
- Goodnight, thank you.
Merci, monsieur.
Phew!
Don't bother.
Gold service, monsieur.
There!
That is better, n'est pas, monsieur?
He is killed?! Yes?
Yes, I know.
Bu-but I can explain it, it's...
It's quite simple.
- 1, I'll tell you about it...
- Pardon, monsieur.
It will be necessary for me to
send for the chef de train.
Oh, all right.
But this lady - you won't want her.
She can go back to her
compartment, can't she?
When the chef de train...
Arrives.
We'll all be questioned.
That's going to be the
devil of a job.
Yes.
You'd better go straight back to
your own compartment...
And act as though nothing
had happened.
That's not so easy.
Oh, pull yourself together, Tony!
For both of us.
Do you mean you're going
to stand by me?!
Yes.
You'd better go now.
Hurry now.
And remember - you don't know
anything about it at all.
Who's monsieur jolif?
Monsieur jolif - c'est la chef de police.
"Entrez!"
Pardon, monsieur...
Le crime?
- Je viens, tout de suite.
- Merci, monsieur.
Andiamo!
But he was as surprised and horrified...
As I was when he saw the body!
And yet you took steps
to ensure silence.
We've already explained why!
Perhaps the dead man had
discovered this intrigue of yours?
And the only remedy was
to silence him!
That's ridiculous.
Huh.
Why, I, I've never even met the
man before today.
And yet you introduced him to your...
- Friend, bishop, as a colleague.
- Well, of course I did!
That was to avoid the scandal -
it wasn't true!
I have questioned the other
members of your little party.
The men - rentzi and zurta - declare
that they met poole for the...
First time at the card table.
Yes, that's true, but...
- Can't you understand...
- And you - you alone...
Had met poole before.
You will admit...
That your story is unlikely.
But it's the truth!
Oh, for heaven's sake, man...
I've told you already!
Poole said...
That he was fri...
That he was frightened of something!
And that's why...
I'm trying to tell you that
poole said he was...
Frightened of something,
and that's why...
That's why he went for me
when, when I tried...
To turn him out.
And you have proof of this?
Again... I only have your word for it.
Of course I haven't got any proof -
I was unconscious, I was...
- I was knocked on the head. How...
- You will be kept...
Under observation, until
we get to Rome.
You're not going to arrest us?!
That is not for me to decide.
Oh, but...
But if there's any kind of trial...
I mean, everything will come out!
Surely you can let this lady go?
- If her husband got to know about it...
- Unfortunately, monsieur...
I am not a divorce lawyer.
I am merely a police official.
You will both be handed over to
the authorities, in Rome.
Oh, please!
The noted chief de la surete...
It's most satisfactory.
Yes, particularly for that
poor devil, Grant.
Jolif's probably grilling him
at this minute.
It does you much credit...
That tender heart of yours.
Well, I can't help thinking of him.
And about asta marvelle too, hmm?
Here, that's got nothing
to do with you!
A film star!
You fly high, my friend.
Oh, I knew her ages ago.
I haven't seen her for years.
I didn't even know she
was on the train.
No doubt it is this charming
lady who has...
Made you so difficult.
Oh, mills!
Sir?
- You'd better go along and order breakfast.
- Oh, very good, sir.
Yes, you needn't bother
about that case.
Oh, but I was going to read that speech
to you over breakfast, sir.
Well, don't!
Oh, in that case I'll just
go over it until, er...
Uh...
Mr mcbane!
Well?
Well, this isn't my case.
- What do you mean, it isn't your case?
- Well, it isn't, sir.
These are only a few odd papers.
You... blundering fool!
What do you suppose I pay you for?
Well, I'm sorry, sir, but I...
- Had it with me in the dining car last night...
- Shut up!
Oh!
There were some men playing
cards at the next table.
- Perhaps they took my...
- Well?
What are you going to do about it?
Well, I think I'd better see the controller
of the train about it, sir.
You'd better.
- I'm extremely sorry, sir...
- Oh, get out of it!
Yes, sir.
Oh, mills!
Yes, sir?
Order me a grapefruit for
breakfast, will you?
Yes, sir.
We sink or swim together.
I go under...
You go under.
Maybe you forget something, er...
The object of our journey.
What's that?
The Van dyck.
You're not going to be fool enough to
go after that now, are you?
Why not?
I regard it as my property.
I think our late friend said...
That someone had taken his
briefcase by mistake.
Now, I wonder...
Excuse me.
Can you tell me if anyone has
enquired about a briefcase?
A briefcase?
Yes, I took the wrong one by
mistake last night.
I'm sure it was in here.
Well, no one has spoken to
me about it, monsieur.
Oh, well...
Well, someone must have mine.
If anyone enquires...
The case is in mr mcbane's
compartment. Number seven.
- I'm his secretary, mills is my name.
- Oh.
And mr mcbane will be
along in a minute.
Oh. Garcon!
That's a bit of luck.
You will stay here and keep your
eyes open for this...
Mr mcbane.
I have a theory about this case.
Really?
The deceased wasn't killed at all!
Oh, but I assure you, monsieur!
It was a case of suicide.
Now, that is very original.
- But why suicide?
- Conscience.
"Conscience doth make
cowards of us all."
- Uh, pardon?
- Shakespeare.
You know, er...
The bard of avon.
The swan of, um...
Well, Shakespeare.
Oh, Shakespeare!
Now...
Point number one.
The deceased...
Had just won heavily at cards.
Why?
Because he'd rigged the pack.
- Rigged the pack?
- Yes.
He'll have a, um...
Avec les cartes.
You know - cardsharper.
You see?
He had duplicate packs with him.
They all do.
That was why he carried the briefcase.
Briefcase?
Oui, petite portmanteau.
Briefcase.
Oh! Oui, je comprendre!
Tell me, monsieur...
Did he take his briefcase back with
him to his compartment?
Of course.
It never left him.
Rather like me and my golf clubs.
There's sugar in this, mills.
Oh really, sir? I'm sorry.
You know perfectly well that
I never take sugar.
Oh, right.
I'd better order another one, sir.
No, you can't - sit down!
You seem to be incapable
of carrying out my...
Simplest instructions, mills.
I'll go without.
Mr mcbane!
Alistair mcbane.
Tres bien!
What are you doing in here?
Good morning.
What are you doing here?
Zurta is my name.
I heard this...
This little man say that he took...
The wrong briefcase...
From the dining car last night.
And as I have lost mine I came
in here to find it.
Indeed?
Mmm hmm.
Well, why couldn't you ask the...
Train conductor or my secretary
in the proper way?
Oh, er... I was in a hurry.
This is the case?
But...
There's something missing from it.
Mills, do you know anything
about this?
No, sir.
There was something of
value in the case.
- Indeed?
- Mmm hmm.
Well, is that any reason for turning my
compartment upside down?
Oh... I'm so sorry, I'm so careless, I...
Now, look here - you can't fool me!
You're just a common train thief.
Now, look here! I'm not a
man to be trifled with.
- Mills - ring that bell.
- Er, yes, sir.
No!
Get out!
One of you has taken something
out of the case.
But you are going to hand it over.
Now... now look here...
Now, now don't be a fool...
Now, uh, put that revolver away.
Not quite so brave now, hmm?
Come, come - hand it over.
Well, you must be raving mad!
We know nothing about it.
Now, now - put that away
and be sensible.
You daren't shoot!
No?
Monsieur mcbane!
Quiet!
Ouvrez la porte, s'il vous plait.
Answer!
Just a minute.
Open the door!
Mr mcbane, you are wanted.
"Ah... it is
important. Will you open the door?"
Say nothing about me.
"Quvrez la porte!"
"Open the door!"
Come out!
"Quvrez la porte!"
Come out!
"Quvrez la porte!"
What's going on in here?
I found this man...
Ransacking my compartment.
- He was trying to Rob you, monsieur?
- Undoubtedly!
He turned the whole compartment
upside down.
He said some property of his had
been stolen from his briefcase.
Oh, the briefcase.
- I will explain, er, this little...
- Non, non. Non, non.
You shall explain later.
Pardon me.
I must ask you to come and
see monsieur jolif.
He wishes to speak to you.
He is in the fourgon de bagages.
Jolif?
- What, the police inspector?
- Oui, monsieur.
What does he want me for?
He will explain himself...
If you can spare a few
moments, monsieur?
Certainly.
Certainly, I...
You'll allow me to attend to my hand
first. - Certainement, monsieur. Merci.
You weren't hurt, sir?
Oh, just a graze only.
If I hadn't shown considerable...
Presence of mind, mills, it might've...
Been very much worse.
Yes, sir.
I expect it's a splinter of glass
from the mirror.
Yes, well don't fool about now - go
and get something for it.
If I get off this train without a
rope round my neck...
I'll say goodbye to mr zurta
for good and all.
Tony - I'll leave this movie business
too, if you say so.
What, you mean...?
You and me?
Why not?
Think of it...
Free!
Free to go where you want,
to do what you want.
As long as you want.
No managers, no zurtas.
Why, you can start right...
Excuse me.
Zurta?
Yes, they've got him.
What are we going to do?
What's he going to say?
That's the point.
D'you suppose he'll drag you into it?
I don't know. He may.
Mr mcbane!
There's something hidden
behind here.
It's a picture.
It's the Van dyck!
You're mad!
No, sir. No, sir - look!
That's what the man was after.
Somebody must have placed it here...
While we were out of the room.
No.
No, it was in the briefcase.
You hid it!
Well...?
What are you doing?
I'm going to take this picture
to monsieur jolif.
You leave that where it is!
No, sir.
No, sir - it's my duty.
Course, it might help me
to forget my duty...
If I were offered some inducement.
Such as...?
Such as a directorship in
one of your companies.
At a salary of...
Shall we say...
Two thousand a year?
- Blackmail, hmm?
- No.
Not blackmail.
Only what you owe me.
For years of slave-driving...
At a salary you'd be ashamed to
offer a scullery maid.
Mr alistair mcbane...
The "millionaire philanthropist”...
The "soul of benevolence."
Why, you wouldn't offer a blind
beggar a farthing!
Signore jolif begs la signorina...
To spare him a few moments at once.
- He wants me?
- Si, signorina.
Well, I'll come with you.
Signore jolif's instructions are to bring
la signorina only.
- Oh, I'll come right away.
- Si.
You'd better stay here.
You are still quite certain...
That you wish me to question this lady?
I don't "wish" you to do so.
I think the lady may be very angry.
Indeed.
I must ask you to remain silent...
While I am questioning her.
Oh, I should not dream of
interrupting your tete-a-tete.
Ah!
Pray be seated, mademoiselle.
You wanted me?
I am investigating a murder...
Which took place on this
train last night.
You will appreciate...
That any answers you care to make...
May have very serious consequences.
A murder? Who?
Tell me, mademoiselle...
Have you seen this gentleman before?
Yes. Why?
Because he tells me...
That he visited your compartment...
Last night.
Suppose I was not alone in
my compartment...
Does that concern you?
Then you do not deny monsieur
zurta's statement?
May I ask why he found it
necessary to tell you this?
You may answer, monsieur.
For some reason, monsieur
jolif appears to suspect me.
He wish to know
what I did with my...
Time after one o'clock this morning.
You may guess how it pains me...
Io involve, er... others...
But I have, er, no alternative.
You understand?
I see.
Then I have no alternative either.
Well, mademoiselle?
Um, monsieur zurta's statement
is quite correct.
He was with me in my
compartment, last night.
At what time did he visit you?
Just after one o'clock.
- You seem very sure of the time.
- I was expecting him.
When... did he leave?
In the morning.
You understand, mademoiselle...
That you will be required to swear
to this statement...
On oath?
Yes, I understand that.
Well... if you're satisfied now,
monsieur jolif...
Maybe the lady and I go back
to our compartments?
I'm afraid not.
I am not content.
There is still...
Much to be explained.
And unless I get exactly what I want...
The newspapers are going to
write one more story...
Telling the public exactly...
How mr mcbane does
his art collecting!
Well, mills...
I suppose you have the
advantage of me.
And the... the directorship?
At... two thousand a year?
Yes.
I'm, I, I, I want this in writing.
- You doubt my word?
- Yes, I do!
Mills...
You mustn't develop a suspicious
nature, you know.
That would never do.
We should never get on.
I suppose...
You're quite sure that
is the Van dyck?
There's no fear of that, sir.
I know his work.
Let me see.
I'm afraid, mills...
They will never take your
word against mine.
What...?
What do you mean?!
You would not have made a
very good director, mills.
No! But, sir!
But mr mcbane...
Mr mcbane, sir - where are
you going?
What are you going to do?
When?
This morning I heard that mr mcbane
had possession of...
The case by mistake.
So I went to his compartment...
To, er, recover my losses.
I see.
Have I, er, your permission to
smoke, monsieur jolif?
- Certainly.
- Please?
Uh, no - thank you.
- Mademoiselle?
- No, thank you.
- Signore mcbane.
- Ah!
How do you do?
I think, monsieur...
I have seen your picture many times...
- In the newspapers.
- Ah!
Indeed.
Well, I expect you've seen
this picture too?
Yes... the Van dyck.
Stolen from the Murdoch collection.
How did you come to find it?
I found it behind a mirror
in my compartment.
A mirror in your compartment?
How it got there, I cannot imagine.
Can you, mills?
No, sir.
I begin to see.
The dead man had this picture
in his briefcase.
He knew that he was pursued.
He hid it...
For greater safety.
And that is what you were
searching for...
In the compartment.
Pardon, monsieur.
So, you were with this
lady last night?
Yes.
- Until morning?
- Yes.
And yet, the other occupant of your
compartment tells me...
That you returned at one-thirty.
How could he? He was asleep.
Asleep! How do you know if
you were with this lady?
Your story is a lie from
beginning to end.
What if it was?
What has that got to do with it?
That doesn't prove me to
be a murderer.
The man who killed poole
is the man who...
Stole the picture from him.
Do you ask me to believe that these...
Briefcases were exchanged
by accident?
Have you asked me to
believe that this...
Picture was found in mr mcbane's
compartment by accident?
Are you so stupid...
That you cannot see that...
Mr mcbane is the man you want?!
You two young people have given
me a great deal of trouble.
You, mademoiselle...
Have told a story which is false.
You, monsieur...
Have confessed to being an associate
of the dead man, zurta.
It is all most irregular.
However, after all...
I am on my holidays.
Au revoir, mademoiselle.
You mean that...?
We can go?
They say, monsieur, that I
never forget a face.
But I fear that my memory...
Is not as good as it used to be.
I think I shall forget yours.
Oh, thank you!
But never yours, mademoiselle.
Tony!
- Got your gloves?
- Yes.
- And your bag?
- Yes.
- You sure you've left nothing?
- I'm quite sure.
Congratulations!
So they've let you orf!
Splendid. Splendid.
- Delighted. Delighted.
- Thank you.
You've been very lucky.
You know what these foreigners are?
Oh, but jolif says we've got nothing
to worry about now.
Yes, well... truth will out and
justice will prevail.
- Very embarrassing for the lady, though.
- Yes, very embarrassing.
Excuse me a moment.
- You know that...
- Ah, bishop.
Tom...
I want to talk to you.
You know, this has been all
rather a ghastly mistake.
Mrs maxted's going back
home at once...
And I'm going on to Naples, alone.
- Can I rely on you, I'm sure...
- My dear feller, of course...
Of course.
Thanks.
Silent as the grave.
Discretion is the better part
of wagons-lits!
Well, goodbye old boy, goodbye.
- Goodbye, mrs maxted.
- Goodbye.
Quick.
Well, well, well, well, well,
well, well, gentlemen...
So you managed to get here, eh?
Well, how are you all?
My arrival doesn't appear to have
excited much interest, mills.
There's nobody here to welcome me.
No, sir. I notified all the news
agencies too, sir.
All right, all right, all
right - don't scare me.
We mustn't waste time or we'll miss
miss asta marvelle, now.
All you boys gotta do is to...
Follow me and I'll fix everything.
Come on.
Benissimo!
Believe me, boys, this is gonna be the
greatest day for Rome since...
Julius Caesar was bumped off
for the ides of march.
Charity doesn't seem to get one
very far, mills. Does it?
No, sir.
Think I'd better...
Look out for a Porter, sir.
You'll do nothing of the kind.
Wasting money in that way.
Surely you can manage that
baggage by yourself?
Yes, sir.
And who's this?
He's the secretary for entertainment.
Oh, yeah? And who's this over here?
He's his grace, the
Duke of montelade.
Come here, Duke.
Madame marvelle's been deeply touched
by this reception, gentlemen.
Deeply touched.
She'll be here any moment, now -
any moment, now.