Roman Tales (1955) - full transcript

ROMAN TALES

Mario! Mario!

What is it?
- Alvaro's been released! - When?

This morning. He said to meet
him in the piazza.

Tell him I'm coming. Let's see him go
straight, Alvaro! Here Righe', take it!

Hey, Spartaco!
- Who's calling?

Alvaro's been released.
He says to meet in the piazza!

Silvio Pellico's back!
- Why? Are you unhappy?
[N.B. A popular hero and poet]

No, indeed! I wish that we had more
customers like him.

Instead, make sure that you remember
to get him to pay for what he owes..

..from before his vacation!



Otello!

Otello!

They're fresh!
- Otello!

The sea has arrived in Rome!
- Otello!

What's up?
- Alvaro's been released! - When?

An hour ago.
He's waiting in the piazza.

Great! Tell him I'm coming!
Tell him!

Ote', who's this Alvaro?
- Alvaro Latini, don't you know him?

Should I know him? - The one who
stabbed Valerio Zerboni!

They gave him six months. A travesty!

Locking up the one who drew a knife
is a travesty?

What does that have to do with anything?
The other one started it! It was an
unpleasant misunderstanding.

And he did six months?
Then he's a sucker!

Hi, Alva'!
- Hi, I see you!



Hi guys!
- Hi, Alvaro!

Mamma!
- Over here!

Mama! Alvaro's been released!
- So if you're back...!

Mama! Aren't you pleased that
Alvaro is free?

Stay happy, don't take it badly!
- Six months! I always thought of you.

I kept asking me: ''What's my
mother going to do now?''.

And what did I do?
Worked to keep sending you parcels!

Eh, yes! Always fettine panate. They
seemed like they'd been in the sun.

Thank God!
- Yes, and thank mamma.

Be good!
- And how's Maria? What about her?

You look in good health. - Did you
imagine you'd see Alvaro like this?

How pleasing that must be!
- Yes, mamma! At last!

This is my home! Hi, girls!
Is there a clean shirt?

Not that one! It's a rich customer's!
- But what about me?

Mine will be too narrow in the neck, ma!

And we carry on until twelve!

Where are you going?
- Come on now! Alvaro! Alva'!

Aho!
- Here you go!

Don't you ever grow? You are shorter
than before! I thought you weren't coming!

My brother-in-law didn't want me to!
- Forget about him!

They're sleeping in the kitchen.
- In the cutlery tray!

Alvaro's out and
the gang has already reformed!

Miss, remember:
no more credit for Alvaro Latini!

Prison is an experience everyone
should have.

Better than national service! In the army,
what do you learn? How to die of hunger!

I was in the cell at Regina Coeli
with a marquis and an antiquarian.

Oh! I had them in the palm of my hand!
I was somebody in there, you know?

You know what the director told me
when I was coming out?

''It'll be worse after you go,
if I don't hear of you again!''

Let's talk about our business, eh?

You have humiliating jobs,
you have to give them up.

Why? - To do what?
- What will I tell them at home? No!

But then it's true! Don't try to dress it
up! I know it all! Women are your bosses.

The fishmonger's daughter,
Hannibal's daughter.

I don't have to say her name?
- I will, it's the cashier at the bar!

You haven't told her yet!
- It's all right for Otello, he's tall!

What?
- He's a metre tall! - So are you!

Guys! The man must be independent and
dominant with women.

Therefore, starting from today
let's say: ''New life''.

Inside, I got to know some
big shots that....

Hold this for a moment.

Relax! - I want a few words!
- Pretend not to have seen him!

Let go of me!

Now what?

What's he going to do?

Hello.
- Hello.

Well, I have to talk to you.

About that, we are not going
to restart, eh?

Let's put a lid on the past.

I did six months, do you understand?
I suffered so much.

The humiliation that I endured!
- I'm not bothered about it anymore.

Then let's make peace!
- I repeat what I told you before:

..your wife, now she's married,
I don't speak to her anymore.

If you believe so, good, if not, too bad!
- But I believe you, okay.

I believed that night too. Only
I was drunk, there were friends...

..I didn't want to look cowardly.

What's he doing? - Seeing if he needs
to beat him up again.

Good!
- What a system.

If this is the case....

Bye, okay. Friends like before, eh?
- Bye.

Here he is!

Alva', how'd it go?

Poor thing, he asked my forgiveness.
It wasn't worth the trouble!

I know him like the back of my hand, see.
He tried to shake hands and I said: "No!"

''Valerio, when you see my wife, you
have to lower your eyes and slink off.''

''Otherwise this time I'll send you
to the cemetery.''

You scared him!
- And he said: ''Friends like before''.

Give me my jacket! And let me get you
4 Campari sodas. Shorty's paying.

Pay!
- I don't have a lira!

Go on! - You must have something!
- I'm out of money! - Find the lira!

Hi!
- Good morning, workers! - Good morning!

Come on!
- Hold on!

Is this the lady?
- So what?

A killer, congratulations!
- Four Camparis.

Four Camparis!
- How much?

320.
- I wouldn't have believed it!

Who'd have thought it?

That Shorty!

Cheers everyone!
- Cheers!

We all toast you, miss!
- Thank you! Good luck!

But what does Valerio do with that truck?
Is he a driver? A messenger?

He works for himself. The truck is his
own! He bought it in installments, you know?

It may seem like it'd be a pain,
but his business is doing well!

In installments, eh? I get it.
- Eh, already!

It's almost one,
I'm going to see my wife. - Okay.

See you this afternoon.
I have an idea!

Miss, Spartaco shouldn't be drinking, eh?
- But....

See you!
- Bye. - Bye.

Alvaro is always Alvaro!

Hi, Franca!
- Hi, Alvaro.

Alvaro! Alvaro!
- Mari'!

Mari'!
- Calm down! Behave! - Why?

Six months! You do not know how long it's
been. And all I've been through.

They're all looking.
Let's go home.

Did you think of me? I often asked myself:
"What is Maria doing at this time?"

Did you think of me? Tell me! - Of course
I thought of you! - All the time?

Yes, all the time.
- You'll see how it'll all be like before.

Ah, I hope not! Listen, it's better
that we talk about this right away.

Become a serious person
and get to work, if not I'm....

Look at me! Has your Alvaro changed,
yes or no? - No!

But how can you say no! Don't say no.
Inside!

How should I know what's going on in
your head? - But I have lots of good ideas!

So you really haven't changed
at all then!

There are three combinations:
12, 18 and 24 installments.

How beautiful!
- How many? - 24.

Understood? 24.
- Vans..

..are paid for like this. After buying,
they become a source of earnings.

It's 300,000 lire in advance?
- The advance hasn't changed.

Shall we go?
- Can we have a test drive?

Eh, maybe! - Yes, yes!
- Do you get a license plate?

Sure, that's the deal!

Did you hear what he said?
Vans are bought in this way.

This much to begin with,
and if the business goes well..

..we'll earn enough to
buy a trailer as well, no?

Can I try it?
- Gladly!

Are you crazy?
- Relax! And cut it out!

There you are, stupid! License for third
class vehicles and diesel! - Shorty has a license?

How about that! - Where'd you get this?
In an Easter egg?

Fourth class.
- You were fourth!

This works out well! We have a personal
mechanic! And let's go!

Good morning!

What brakes!
- What a spin! You say?

Did you feel those brakes?
- Splendid! Then we are agreed.

Yes. - I'll give you the signature
next week.

Good morning.
- Good morning.

Good bye and thanks!
- A pleasure!

But what's this signature?
- Eh?

What's this signature? - The signature,
on the contract, no? - Ah.

And the 300,000 lire?
- Let's think about it for five minutes.

Five minutes are enough to
resolve this.

Five minutes, eh?
- Let me think!

Drink the fountain!

Have a bath!

Cut it out, you children!
Eh, what a pain!

I've got it, right?
- Carry on! What have you got?

A.M.O.S.
- Who's that? - Who's this Amos?

It's the name of an association, a
cooperative for delivery drivers, no?

A.M.O.S.: Alvaro, Mario,
Otello e Spartaco.

And why am I last?
- Because A.M.O.S. works well.

S.A.M.O. no?
Spartaco, Alvaro, Mario and Otello.

S.A.M.O already exists. Who wins then?
- O.M.A.S., O.S.M.A., O.M.S.A.

M.A.S.O.
- M.O.S.A.

Enough! It's A.M.O.S.! In a
cooperative we are all equal,..

..but someone has to take command,
otherwise it becomes like the republic!

You're worrying about the name!
But the 300,000 lire for the advance,..

..what are we going to do for that?
- Eh, indeed!

At the Olimpico this Sunday,
a football match..

..between Italy and England.

Tickets....
- I've got it! - What?

Another name! - Shut up!
- The 300,000 lire!

Where? - In here. - Then you have
the Bank of ltaly in there!

You know, it's impossible to have a
serious discussion with you.

You'll never get out of the gutter
that you're used to!

Can't he crack a joke?
Tell us what you want to say!

Do you have to be offensive?
- In business I'm serious!

More serious than us! Don't be tragic!
- Eh, see! Now listen to me,..

..you can earn 25,000 each.
- And you?

Me too, of course. Then we can turn
this into the 300, you see?

Eh!
- Let's go!

Look at this!
Have you got out bed this morning?

Am I ever late?

This makes me really angry!
Is he ever up before us?

No, but for once
he's working well, let him be.

Less bad than you,
you're lucky to find that....

Why don't you know this?

Let's go?

Careful, it's slipping!
- Aho!

I've been waiting for you
since 23:00!

Sorry, my uncles and cousins came.

You're engaged to someone who
has to do their cooking.

Don't I know it!
- Yes, right!

Marce', come here!
- What is it?

Let's take a moment.

No! No, behave!
But right here? - You, come on!

Let's go, you!

Marce'! You know that I love you?
- Eh, I know.

But you don't know I'm always thinking
of our future. - You're okay, right?

I can't carry on transporting boxes
and breaking ice!

I'm ashamed that this is all that I am!

I must establish a position,
otherwise how can I start a family?

And what are you going to do?
- I have a project in mind.

Ah! And what's that?
- I can't tell you, it's a secret.

You've got secrets too!
- Don't joke, it's a serious matter.

I need some help, a loan.
An advance would solve everything!

How much?

25,000 lire.

And you want to make a future with 25,000
lire? It doesn't cost much!

Now I understand the early rising, acting
slickly, all the mawkishness!

Get out of it, go!

And you want me to start a family
with a man like you?

Marce', don't get upset!
- But no, you couldn't upset me!

You know what I'm saying to you?
You're going to kill yourself!

You and your sister....
- You and your whole clan!

Who's going to look at you?

Bye, sister Ade'!
- What's happened? Another quarrel?

Yes, this time it's over.
You'll have to find another wretch!

Come on, tell me all about it.
What little thing is it this time?

We've always treated you well, haven't
we? Was it Marcella?

Yes.... - She's so hot-tempered!
What did you do?

How can I get through?
- Wait!

Every morning the same story!
Half a meter today, half more tomorrow...

..another metre tomorrow, where's
it all going to end up?

You've got a nerve to talk!

Five days ago I was here! Look where
I've ended up! Five times in a row!

Oh, you're scaring me! I'm shaking
in my shoes!

Let's see about this! Officer!
Officer! Come here! Officer!

Otello - Eh?
- Get out of here!

Take it! I know you need it. Don't say
anything to Marcella, I know what she's like!

I'll pay it all back next week.

Go on.
I know how to reach you,..

..so that that poor girl isn't always
alone. - Yes, sister Ade'.

Every morning, she steals half a meter!

I think you're refering to yourself
- Come on!

Eh, officer?
- Let's see the signs.

She rubs them out every night with
that sluggard Otello!

At night I'm sleeping,
I don't know what you're doing!

You don't do something to my work?

You know you do! Don't put on this act!
- Assassin!

Stop!
- Enough of your lectures!

I swear, this is my place.
- Tomorrow we will check the piant.

Come on! Move it along!
- Ah! You've finally made it over here!

Well, how are your nerves?
- You want to make a joke of it?

Otello, listen, that money you
want, when we close..

..bot don't say a word to my mother!
- No! It would be too easy.

After the way you talked to me,
I don't want anything!

I'm allowed a little bit of dignity, no?

What's come over you today?
Have you had a blessing from your brothers?

If she moves one step closer,
this is where it all kicks off!

Excuse me, madame.
Broker, look at these earrings!

Good stuff, eh?

20,000. - Make it at least 25,000!
I've got a baby with scarlet fever

..and I'm going to be evicted.
My wife is pregnant again.

I'm sorry.
- But how?

But it can't be so little!
Truly, we will not be able to eat!

With our last money,
we were able to make a little gravy.

With 20,000 lire, you can buy spaghetti!

20,000? But have you ever been to the zoo?
Did you see the lion's meal?

At my house, it's worse!
You need to eat with a fork!...

We'll just be eating the wrath of God!
Make it 25,000, be so kind!

Okay, 25,000.
- Thank you, you're the man!

Goodbye, broker!
Best wishes! Many thanks!

Deposit?
- No, withdrawal.

How much?
- The lot.

Documents?

Finally! I've been waiting half an hour!
- And Spartaco?

You're asking me? usually he's too
late, today he was too early,..

..a little closed, a little open, a
little he's gone, a little brother-in-law.

What's wrong with him? I'm cancelling
my subscription! Goodbye!

Good morning.
- Good morning.

Why are you so late today?
- New life!

A cappuccino, please.
- Did you win at Sisal? - Nearly!

With double sugar, Enzo!
- Okay! Coming up.

The best in Rome!
- Thank you.

What are you doing here?
- So what?

Meanwhile customers are deserting us!
At the salon, there are no customers..

..not even a dog! And then I have
to come here and find you eating? You're bone-idle!

I'm fed up with you,
the shop and your sister!

Here are the keys. From today,
you can deal with all the hassle yourself!

What do you know about haircuts?
You have four hairs!

Me? You'll pay for this!
I'll see you begging for charity!

You'll thank me later
for the years of work I've given you!

Get out of here, go!
- I'll see you dying of hunger!

Get out!

It may hurt you to argue with your
brother-in-law. What are you going to do now?

I have other prospects, miss.
I may be joining a cooperative..

..of delivery drivers.
Things are looking up!

Congratulations!
- New life!

So 7 and 3 makes 10.
Quagliari', get the money..

..from my son. It's 63,000 lire.
- Okay, old Anni'.

So, how much is it?
- 63,000.

If you don't mind, make it 38:
25 next time.

This way,
I won't have to carry the ojo.

35, 38.

Would you like a glass of wine?
- And why not? - Here.

Cheers! Cheers!

See you, old Anni'.
- Bye.

Mario! - Yes?
- There are people. - I'm going.

What would you like?
- We would like to try some..

..of the specialities of the town.
- Anita, they're English!

Please, please!
- Thank you.

Sit down, please!
- Thank you!

Thank you. - What do you wish?
- We were told that..

..in this neighbour
we can get really fancy foods,..

..l mean particulary well seasoned.
What can you advise?

Well, we'd like to eat some
Roman specialities. [In French]

What do they want?
- I don't understand! I don't know English.

What? Can't you see?
- What's wrong?

I don't know, they're English.
- I don't speak English!

Let me. I'm known for my tagliatelle,
chicken in a pan..

..with peppers and half a litre
of Frascati. - All right!

Heck! They've understood right away!
You see how it's done?

I'm throwing this sign away.
''English spoken''..

..and then we figure it out!
Shame!

I speak languages!
- You haven't got a clue how the world works!

???

Watch your mouth!
- This would be a great place,..

..if it wasn't for
ignorant types like you!

Respect your father!

Are you all right?
- Leave me alone!

Don't do this. Don't cry! - I can't
stand it anymore! Nobody understands me!

And me? - You're like my father.
Look at you..

..with his jacket and his trousers,
and look this tie!

With what I earn!

You should have golden epaulets!
- I seem to be annoying everyone!

You see?
They don't want you to become more refined!

Get out of here! - Leave me alone,
if my father sees you, he'll be after you too.

Come on, tomorrow I'll put on
the golden epaulets. - Leave me alone.

Record half a litre.

This is taking forever!

Otello! Otello!

We're here! Come on!

I've been on my feet since 05:00!

That's not good for you!
- I know!

How many did you get?
- Eight! Count them! Look!

Good! 8 and 8 is 16,
and 4, 20 and 4 is 24!

Another 8 and it's 32.
Another turn and we're there!

I heard from a tout that at the last
moment you can sell them..

..for 10,000 lire each.
- Shut up so we can think!

We'll be able to pay for the van and
the deposit. - And if it's raining?

Give over! Listen!
- The game is the same!

If it rains, people will stay home!
- But you'll bring raincoats!

Come on!
- Move it! Please!

Come on, it's getting late.

Because you have to get there
hours early?

Work for my Mariuccina!
- Maria? - Oh?

Have you seen the key to the box?
- What are you going to do?

I want the earrings!
- What for?

They were Aunt Ernestina's.
They look good!

What? Here we are dying of hunger and
you want to go around with earrings!

What's wrong?
- Don't take on, Alvaro's joking!

You're insensitive to human pain!
Give me the jacket..

..I'm going to be late!
- Wait a moment!

Why are you in such of a hurry?
Calm down, eh?

There!

Now you can go as well!

But no! I want an explanation! In this
house every move I make is spied upon!

I've had enough! I can't do this
anymore because I'm not a child!

Don't be a fool!

I found the ticket yesterday when
I was cleaning your trousers..

..and I discovered about the earrings!
Your mother has suffered enough!

I can't take it anymore!
I can't take it anymore!

Don't put on one of your displays,
it doesn't impress me anymore.

No, wait, don't walk off.
Listen to me.

The two of us can't carry on like this.

If you have no confidence in me,
it's better that we separate.

You're still young, attractive,
you can still make a life for yourself.

I'm leaving!
- Bye, ma'. - Bye.

Mamma! Mamma! Mamma!

Eh! What's this about?
I'm not going to America! Bye!

I can't do this anymore! I'm a wretch!
Nobody understands me! Nobody!

I'm trying to take you out of
this life of misery!

But you are all against me!
It would be better if you let me die!

Yes, because you don't know,
Maria, at night..

..at Regina Coeli, with the belt....

I know, I don't have to tell you,
it was like a moment of desperation,..

..but now it's passed.
Don't cry, Mari'.

But I'm not crying because....

I'm crying because you're such a liar. Do
you think everyone's a complete fool?

Must you always go around
inventing lies?

Alvaro! - Alvaro!
- Alvaro, are we going?

Go with your friends, go!

Yes, but you wait for me!

Goodbye! And one day you'll
be fair to your husband!

You'll see, Mari'!

Tribuna Monte Mario!
[N.B. A section of the Olympic
Stadium in Rome]

Tribuna Monte Mario!
Tribuna Monte Mario!

Tribuna Monte Mario!

Otello! How's it going?

Nothing. They all have their tickets!
- It'll happen soon, don't worry!

But the game is about to start!
- Relax! There'll be latecomers!

Where are the other two?
- Over there, can't you see?

Where?
- There!

Come on, come on!

Do you need tickets?

Tribuna Monte Mario!
Tribuna Monte Mario!

Aho! You want to end up inside?

Why? - Don't you understand that
touting is illegal?

And how am I supposed to sell them?
By telepathy?

Do I have to deal with mental defectives!
Put them in your pocket so's they can see them!

Get on with it!
- Get on with it! Mario!

Damn it, what can I do?

We haven't made a lira. Nothing!

It's not surprising with that face!
You must smile!

They all have tickets!
- Put your back into it!

Tribuna Monte Mario!
Tribuna Monte Mario!

You see what it's like!
- Monte Mario!

Tribuna!
- Monte Mario!

Tribuna Monte Mario!
- How much?

5,000. - You're daft, my friend!
I'm selling them at 3,000!

But there's nothing doing,
nobody's biting.

They're showing the game
on television, didn't you know?

Those bloodsuckers! What should we do?
- You have to lower your prices!

Tribuna Monte Mario!

Honest prices!
Tribuna Monte Mario!

Honest prices!
Tribuna Monte Mario!

Honest prices!
Tribuna Monte Ma --

Mario! You see over there?
- Beh? - At 4,000!

Get them here, everyone!
- Honest prices!

Tribuna Monte Mario!

Tribuna?
- How much?

4,000!
- Giuinot! Cala!

At the right price, if not forget it!
- How much? - Without a....

Alva'!
- What is it?

We can sell two at 5,000.
- Are you sure?

I'm telling you!
- Sure?

I'm afraid you are going to see
the game on television!

Are you sure?
- Come on!

You aren't going to make a fool out of me!
- Come on!

Here they are! - Here they are!
- Hello!

Hello!

How many do you need?
- How many do you have?

I have 10. You?
- 10.

20.
- 8.

28.... - 12.
- ....and 12, 40. 40!

4 x 5....
- ....20.

200,000 lire.

It's a lot, eh?
- Yes, 200,000.

Can't you offer us something less?
- For less than this?

They are the last,
we can offer a special price.

We'd like that!
- Today is Sunday!

So it is, then..

..take them to the police station!
- Oh! - Police!

I want my money!
- Behave! Stop it!

It's the first time!
Just trying to earn a few lira!

That's fine, I understand.

Since you are not the usual offenders,
we will let you go this time.

But if we see you again,
we'll not only take your tickets,..

..but we'll put you inside too!
Agreed?

Agreed.
- You've understood, eh?

Thank you very much, doctor.
- I want my money!

Calm down or I'll give you one....
- Spartaco is right!

This was your great idea!
- Understood?

Wretch! You've ruined us!
- How do I get my money back?

What will I tell Anita?
- You've ruined us!

Shut up! You're right that I've messed
up to get involved with failures like you!

I regret it! And from now on, you can
mess up on your own! Get it?

Wretch! Fraudster!
- Don't forget to work! Poor sods!

Go and jump off a cliff!
- That we have a kingpin like you!

Get out of it!
- Don't let me see you at Santa Maria,.

..because you'll see what happens to
kingpins! - Go and kill yourself!

Come on, walk!

Wait here a moment.

What did you say? I don't even want
to see him! Don't insist!

He offended me! He disrepected me
in the presence of strangers!

Good morning, Ms. Ines. - Have you made
peace with your brother-in-law?

It was him.
He insisted that....

I don't want to see him!
- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

What else can I tell you?

Spartaco, come in!

Here he is.

Thank my sister.
I would let you starve,..

..but the thought of her suffering
is stronger than my resentment!

So you can resume your post, my son!

Thank you, Pasquale.
You are so kind. Bye.

And you must behave!
Don't make him angry!

Come here!

Give me a trim round the fringe
and a nice massage.

Hey, Spartaco! Alvaro is waiting
for you at the bar!

Go and jump in the river, you and Alvaro!

You're so short you can only give half
a haircut! You scalp them!

You do your haircuts with an axe?
???

Lightly! Slowly with the tip.
It's necessary to master the scissors.

Slowly, then.

Still defending that assassin?

It doesn't matter!
- But the money..

..you gave to him,
when's he going to return it?

Old Anni', he's here!

He's here?

Papa, it's not his fault!

Swine! Get in there!
- What is it?

Break his head for that mistake!
Send his head to the hangman!

I've got the money. I'll pay it all back!

Delinquent!
In my house and with my daughter!

I'm going to marry her, your daughter!

You would like to marry my daughter!

See you, old Anni',
you show him! Bye!

Wretch!
- Mario!

Alvaro's waiting at the bar!
You might kill him!

Pick up those boxes!

And clean that bench!

And this is the price, is it?

Which? This one?
- Yes! They need a little bit of ice.

Not on the others? - Put the water on
the mullet, because their eyes are bulging!

The tricycle has arrived.
Go and get more ice!

Poor thing!
- Shut up! It's all your fault!

Ah, yes? - If you hadn't lost all
that money...

That's how it was! If you hadn't given
the money to me, I couldn't have given it to him.

Me?
- Never you mind!

How much....
- What is it? What do you want?

I'm looking if there are fresh!
- They're leftovers from Christmas!

Did you get out of bed on the wrong side?

I got out of bed who I like!
- The mouth on her!

Be good to the customers!
- Here's the ice!

What do you take me for? Break it up, no?
- You want me to break it up? There!

You could....

Otello!

Ote'!
- What do you want?

Alvaro says that he is waiting at the bar!

You're not seeing him!

I'll give you a shot!
I have a fleet!

If you see him again,
I'll slap you like one of these fish!

Why would I see him? It's so nice
here! I'm treated like one of the family!

And leave off with the sardonic wit!
- That figures!

Guys! I am very happy to
see you gathered here altogether!

And Alvaro, you know,
doesn't hold a grudge,..

..even if you sometimes take advantage
of it, but I'll let it go!

Forgetting it all is for the best.

Anyway I summoned you here because of
Professor Semprini. - And who's he?

So I'm going to have to tell you:
you're so ignorant!

Don't you read! Don't you know who he is?
- No!

He has a brain like this!
- Is it a watermelon?

He's written about a dozen novels.
''The Orphan of the Piave'',..

..''The Revenge of the Dead''....
Why am I bothering? You don't read.

Ah, here he is.

Good morning.

Ueh!
- Thank you for coming.

Please, my dear friend.
It's a duty! A duty! Eh?

These are the friends I was telling
you about.

They are your admirers.
They've read all your novels!

Thank you. Too kind.
- Will you have a seat? - Yes, thank you.

Ah!

Here we are.

Your order?

What time is it?
- It's 11:30.

Beh, I'll have a little something,
I know, a cappuccino, a brioche.

A sandwich, yes. You said it's 11:30?
- Yes. - Then make me something, bring..

..a nice sandwich, n'est-ce pas?
- Very well.

Thank you.
- You're welcome. - So?

Professor, I am in need of you,
of your pen, because I..

..can do anything, but on the literary
level I am not so great..

..and you are a maestro.
- Beh, modestly.

Truly, it's well known,.

I am in need of a letter.

A letter, I don't know...
like by someone who is hungry.

Someone unemployed,
who has his mother..

..with a very serious illness.
- Your mother is ill?

My mother is fine! Heck!
She'll bury all of you lot!

Calm down, boys!
Calm down, boys!

That idiot intervention made me lose
my thread! - Oh, never mind.

Have I explained, professor?
- Up to a certain point, but, dear,..

..I'm missing the point. Here, I'm
missing the point. - Eh, no, it's here!

How's this?

''Exactly one year after going to
heaven..

..his companion after a life totally
dedicated to the family,..

..the N.D....
- N.D.? - Yes.

Nobile Donna, it's obvious.
- Ah, indeed.

''Valeria Zoppetti
born Von Balbesberg.

Von Balbesberg, yes.
- Von Balbesberg.

Ah, yes: Von. Yes.
- Von Balbesberg, Balbesberg.

I understand. It's a great gimmick,
splendid! Simple and splendid.

Good. Then you will be able to write
a very moving letter..

..and with much use of the word mamma.

I've understood.

Leave me to it and I'll put
something together.

That's great.
- Leave it to me.

Don't forget!
- All right.

Aho! Come here!

Do you like this idea?
- I don't understand it at all.

Nor do I!
- Me neither!

My children, you are lacking in all
regards! - Sure!

Carry a letter and something artistic
and we'll make some lire!

Who's going to fork it over?
- Inconsolable children, no? - Why?

You have a heart of stone!

If you saw someone unemployed
who had a sick mother,..

..you wouldn't give them something?
- Me? No, I don't have a lira!

Sssh! I know! But if you had, and saw
someone in great misery?

In that case, yes.
- You see. It's a psychological thing

Alvaro!
- Yes, tell me, professor.

Shall I give her some nice diabetes? Eh?

Diabetes seems a little too unserious.
I wouldn't be specific,..

..just say ''incurable illness''.
- I'll put: ''an unforgiving sickness''.

Very good, professor!
- Ad hoc!

There's a type that I know. His mother
died less than three months ago,..

..the lawyer Mazzoni Baralla,
a real legal eagle. He is..

..a real good egg, defends the
needy for free.

Take into account,
it would be a shame to go..

..into jail again!
- Nobody was asking you.

If you're not in, put on your blinker,
turn left and we'll have the money!

You see? With this letter, we can
get 5 to 20,000 lire.

Three letters a day makes
30,000 lire. In ten days..

..we can have our van.
Beh, ten days... Fifteen!

I'm finished.
- Bravo, professor!

What genius!

Dear, ''lllustrious,
prestigous, etcetera''.

Whoever it is, in short!
- Excellent!

''The traveler who on a dark June
evening was to pass..

..in the dark alleys of suburbia,
would hear the harrowing voice..

..of a mamma murmuring: 'Son, help me!
Medicine! Medicine!'.

''That invocation, cultured,
originated from my beloved mamma,..

..was caused by an unforgiving malady.
She turned to me, to me who,..

..was impotent in the face of her suffering,
I struggled and anguished..

..that there was nothing
I could do to help her.

''Before turning from her
I was very hesitant,..

..but three things have convinced me
I must and, as you can see, here I am!

''Firstly: the pain that unites us.
She had lost her adored mamma..

..and I, after losing my papa,
I was about to lose mine.

''Secondly: the renown that surrounds
Her lllustrous Persona,..

..renown of a great mind and a great heart.

''Thirdly: the squallid poverty
and lack of food..

..in the miserable hovel where I
lived with my poor mamma.

''What can I call this physical agony
if not with the name of hunger?

''Then, lllustrious Lawyer, accept the
offer of this artistic object.

''My poor father....

''My poor father in heaven,
my poor mamma..

..on her bed of sorrow
and me, praying for her..

..that you will consider
becoming our benefactor.

Lawyer?
- Show the young man in.

Please, go in.
- Thank you.

May I?

If you will.
- Thank you.

Sit down.

I read your letter.
Very moving.

Lawyer, it's moving because it's sincere.

It came from the heart.

Are you unemployed?

Unemployed?

It's a little word, unemployed.
Lawyer, look at me.

I'm a wretch.
My life is an odyssey.

For years I've been turned out of jobs.
Nothing, they all closed their doors to me!

Believe me, illustrious lawyer,
I don't know..

..how many times..

..I've banged my head.

Please, sit, sit.
- Thank you.

And how is your mother?

My mother?

Illustrious lawyer,
my mother is sick here.

And that bronze?

Ah!

You see, lawyer, we are poor,
in fact, deprived,..

..but I was not always like this.
Once we were wealthy,..

..as you can see in the exquisite
form of this statuette.

Eh, yes, daddy....
- Daddy?

Daddy.
- Daddy.

Daddy.
- Yes, daddy, daddy.

Why, didn't I say that?
- Yes, yes, yes. You said daddy.

Daddy.
- Continue.

Well, as I said,
daddy had a clothes store..

..and, if I may say,
it started very well.

He had an outfitting business
and then it went bankrupt..

..and we were forced to sell
everything, bit by bit.

That bronze is the last piece
that we have left..

..and it used to be on poor daddy's desk.

Daddy...

Daddy...

Yes, it was my poor papa's...
Papa... Father's, here.

Lawyer sir, illustrious,
it is the only resource we have left,..

..take it in recognition of all
that you will do for me.

Yes, yes. Excuse me, you, the word mamma,
how many times did you write it?

Yes! Three.
- What?

One on the front and twice on the back.
- It is precisely because of all those Ms..

..that I have such an aversion
to that word!

Yes, I understand well enough,
but what can I do?

When children are children they say mamma,
when they grow up they still say mamma!

That's it! That word,
exactly because of all this,..

..is to me particularly unpleasant!
Can't you understand?

Yes, I understand, but it's not my fault,
lawyer. Stay calm.

The word,
it's what everyone says: mamma.

Eh, I know, I know.
They say and write mamma..

..like they say and write daddy. It's
even in Dante. Have you read Dante?

What was that, lawyer?
- Have you read Dante?

Most illustrious lawyer, of course!

Notwithstanding Dante,
I still dislike the word.

And it's because of mamma
that I dislike daddy.

Yes, I understand your tragedy.

ln truth, there are aspects
of these words that annoy you.

Do you too have these idiosyncrasies?

Me? If you only knew!

I, for example, can't stand the words:
zuppa, muffa, truffa! ["Soup, mold, scam"]

You cannot imagine
the torment for a man like me..

..who lives by words
and yet hates words!

I understand what you're saying,
it's your tragedy,..

..but what can I do,
we must all bear our cross.

But I hope this does not take away
your interest in my case.

Eh, yes! Illustrious lawyer,
we all have a ma... a mama.

We all have an M.
- Eh!

Hello!

Forgive me, what do you want?

I have to give this letter and this
object to the lawyer personally.

The lawyer is busy at the moment.

If you want to wait....
- All right, please.

Sit down.

My father is in heaven, my mother
is bedridden in agony and I....

Yes, yes. - ....pray for her and think
of her, we may consider you thus,..

..to be our benefactor.
But leave....

No!
- Allow me.

No!
- Allow me!

Just a kiss! - No! Leave me!
Come and see me.

Yes. - I'll tell me colleagues about
about it. But now I must teach..

..in a desultory way. - I understand.
Then, if I may... - No.

Just a kiss.
I have so much gratitude. What can you lose?

Thank you. Lawyer, anyway!

And you? What do you want?
You have need of help?

Me? No, I, truly....
Yes, I..

..need to bring a case. - Ah, good!
Talk freely, the lawyer..

..will be like your confessor.
Come in, sit down.

Sit down. Sit.

So, tell me, young man. Come on!
So, tell me, what have you done?

But I, honestly, I've done nothing.

Of course, you put on the face of a
brave boy. You did wrong without wanting it,..

..without knowing.
What's more you are of small stature..

..it always creates in man
an inferiority complex,..

..it is a mitigating factor. For example,
some years ago I succeeded..

..in the case of someone who had
killed his mother-in-law..

..because she was always saying to him:
''Tappo! Tappo! Tappo! Tappo!''.

And it was right that that young man
received a lighter sentence.

Coppa, pappa, poppa, tappo.
[Cup, dumpling, stern, cap]

Eh, these are truly odious words,
don't you find?

I....

Don't worry, Shorty is crafty!
Four 'bags' will do it!

Five! Why four! Right, Alva'?
- Every little helps, no?

Aho! Look over there!

But it's the professor!
What's he doing here?

Can't you see he's coming out of the
lawyer's? - Professor!

Professor!
- Wretch!

Sir!
- Here I am! Speak.

Would you help me get on the bus?

He's stolen our money!
- Stay here, there's a policeman!

Go!

He's robbed us! That conman!

Professor! What a swine!
- Professor!

You were right, eh?
That professor has a brain like this!

Aho! And what about Shorty?
- Let's go!

But what if he's trapped in there?
- It's a son of a....

Let's go!

And then?

And then that lunatic said:

..''the word 'pullula' doesn't bother
you?'' - What did you say?

To me no, I said.
At that moment I went on the attack.

''It's criminal!
It's criminal that..''

''..there is so much insensitivity!''
Aho! I was sitting on the chair..

..and looking at the door. Then he
started talking about money:

..''Then give me the first 50,000 lire
for expenses, then....'' - And then?

I was already halfway down the stairs!
- What's up!

Wait a moment!

Aho! - I haven't seen you for a long
time! - How are you?

Alvaro knows everyone, eh? - Don't you
see! Only those who were in jail!

You're right: it's not only
the delinquents who get sent down.

But you're still free!
- That's low!

You're blushing!

Bye! - See you another day.
- Indeed. - Bye!

We won't need papa's death anymore!
- Why's that?

Don't you know who he is?
- Him? - No! - So who?

He's director of the Bank of Italy!
- Who? - That one?

No the real one!
Boys, we're on our way!

Virgil, by exceptional means,
because of the friendship we have,..

..will give us bills of
10,000 for 1,000 lire each!

Fake.
- Fake? Imitations, reproductions!

And so we'll all end up in jail!
- Why? Nobody will realise,..

..they're so perfect and then we'll
be rolling in it, you see?

I'm having nothing to do with it.
- Me neither! - Okay!

But don't you know even in grey it's
beautiful? - What? - Eh!

I prefer red.
- But grey is....

Listen to me good, don't you see that
within a week we could have one of our own?

With 4,000 lire we can make 40,
with 40 we make 400....

With 400, 4,000,000 and they'll cart
us off to jail. No way.

Me neither.
- I don't want to go to jail.

What brakes!
- Killer!

But how do we get the four "bags"?
- Eh?

Who is going to get the 4,000 lire?
- Beh, these 4,000 lire....

Ah! Not this time!
- Come on! Come on! Come on!

A small offering for the little orphans.
- No, thank you.

Listen! - What are you doing?
- I'm doing a good deed.

Have you change for 10,000?
- I'll look.

Did she notice?
- No. - I'm coming!

No, no, leave it.
Their change, it's better.

7,000, 8,000... I've only 9,200.
- Okay, keep the rest.

Thank you.
- But what about the rest?

What are you doing? - Are you crazy?
You'd give away 800 lire? Are we rolling in money?

If we don't help the poor, who will?

The truly rich give very little.
- I'm amazed you know what the truly rich do!

Do you have any plans after lunch?
- No. I might go out with my sister..

..or maybe with some friends...
Perhaps stay at home. Why?

Because, so to say, it's strange
that a pretty girl like you....

My change, 10,000, please?

I have a taxi outside and don't have change.

Thank you. - Good day.
- Don't you look at them? They could be fake?

But why would they be?
It's never happened.

Now what were you saying?
- Me? Ah, yes. I said..

..what were you doing after lunch.
- Like I told you, nothing precise,..

..nothing important. And you?
- Me? Beh...

I don't know. Goodbye.

Two cabins, miss.

One, two, three....
- And no pushing!

Thanks.
- One for me as well.

I'm sorry, I don't have any change.
- Beh, all right, here.

Get on with it! How long's this going to
take! - You can change the 10,000 in Rome!

I've already got the trolleybus, ice cream,
the cabin and the train! Eh!

It's 60, 320, 410...
Adds up to 1,480, no?

What do you want? I've no change!

Here you go.
- But it's occupied? - Eh, already!

My mistake, today is a bad day!

What's bad about today? Excuse me!

That cabin is occupied! It's ours!
- What? - I'm sorry!

I understand, it's yours, but we have
paid! What should we do? - Stay calm!

Marce'!
- What about it? Wait!

Forgive us, this mess should have
been sorted out at the ticket office.

You know how it is, the journey, the heat,
they can make one a little irritable.

She doesn't usually look or talk like this!

What took you so long?
- That's my dress!

What? Why do you need it?
- It was fine where it was! Leave it alone!

But there's no free hook,
where am I supposed to put it?

There's the stool!
- Have you bought the hooks?

There's a hook for blouses,
one for skirts,..

..and one for bras!
How you can't see it I don't know!

You're not putting the dress there!
- Because you're acting so bossy,..

..it can go there!
- Now pick it up!

I'm happy with it there!
- Pick it up! - Oh!

What's all this?
Here it is! I've picked it up, come on!

What manners!
- When you're finished acting..

..the fool, let's go to the swimming pool!
- Ugh!

Better if I see no more of you
and you don't hear me!

May I! May I! Excuse me, eh?

Hey, no need to push, eh?
- No, sorry!

You jumping or not?
- I have to say, it's my first time..

..that I've dived from five metres!
- Don't be such a mouse!

Would you mind diving with me?

Let go of me!
- Let's jump together!

What "together"?
Will you let go of my hand?

Jump, you bathing beauty!

Waiter?
- At your service!

How much is it?

It's 680.

Leave it,
I think I've change here.

Keep the rest.
- Thank you.

Good day.

That one's such a beauty, look!
Which one are you going to bet on?

I don't bet. But if I did, it would be
that one there!

Which one?
- Number 6.

- 6... 6... Agamemnon!
Let's have a flutter, come on! - Where?

Let's bet on Agamennone.
- I was joking!

Why joke about it?
You never know, come on!

Now, before betting,
let's see what they're offering.

Agamemnon, Agamemnon...
Oh! They're giving 8! Play 1,000 lire!

Me? Why don't you bet on it? - You
selected it! You want to jinx it, go!

No, not this one, I don't like the look
of him. That one there, look!

Go and bet, go on!

Maria!

What is it?

Come on, I'll do it as I know these
people. Let me do it, come on!

1,000 lire, Agamemnon to win.
- Change for 10,000.

5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10.

8-1, Agamemnon to win.

All done?

You see that? - But why are you
getting so excited?

Did you understand, with 1,000 lire
you'll win 8,000! Hi, Carlo!

But the horse needs to win!
- It's as good as won, no?

Tell me, where did you get that 10,000 lire?

It's an advance on a deal,
some business. Come on, let's go!

Do you see who's last?

No, no!
- Here he comes! He's making ground!

He's recovering! Fingers crossed!
- He's fifth! He can do it!

Alva'!

There he goes! Go on!

Ah! Good Agamemnon!

Let's collect our money!
Excuse us! Excuse us, please!

How lucky you are!
- Eh!

You did well to insist that we bet
on that horse! - What did I tell you?

You look cheerful. Have you won?
- Yes, 8,000 lire on Agamemnon.

On Agamemnon?
- Yes, it was Maria's idea.

My idea.
- A good run, eh?

We were worried at first, but he came
through, eh?

Yes! - You want to collect the money,
before they have second thoughts?

See you later.
- See you later. - Find you here.

How's life, Alva'?
- Good.

What's making it good?
- I have a certain idea..

..to create a transport company.
I'm in discussions with Fiat for..

..a particluar vehicle.
- Will we become competitors, then?

What's that? I have the idea to
create something big.

Ah, something....
- Yes. - Understood.

Good luck, then.
- Thanks.

Maria!
- Alva'!

You have, love, got your winnings?
- Yes.

There should be many like this!
- Maybe!

Now let's have a look at the horses in
the next race, eh? - Yes.

Hang on, there's Cotica!
- Who's he?

One who knows everything about everyone.
He knows horses very well!

Wait for me at the track, I'll work
on him, understand? - All right.

Best of luck!

Always the optimist, Alvaro.
- On the other hand,..

..if he wasn't, it would be worse.
He's had so little good fortune!

He has the good fortune to be your
husband. - Beh, you know!

I would always consider it good fortune.
- Valerio, please.

Excuse me.

Give me a tip! - These are dead certs:
in the third race, Igor.

Eh?
- Yes, lgor!

In the fourth, Volturno..

..and in the fifth, Armagnac!

Armagnac, are you sure?
- Sure! You can bet your shirt.

Don't let me down!
- Put your shirt on it!

Bye, be seeing you.
- Bye.

Waiter!
- Eh?

Coming.

Yes? - What's this?
- Fish soup.

This is a soup of fish heads
and left-over clams!

There's also the octopus.
- What a combination!

It's all the left-overs forgotten
at the back of the fridge!

No, it's all fresh. - Don't talk rot!
What do you know about it?

I assure you that it was all freshly
caught this morning.

What? Don't tell me this!
You're giving me lessons?

This stuff comes from Sardinia!
- I'll get you something else.

Make sure that this one is at least fresh!
- As you wish. - Here!

There's never a moment's peace with you!
Always crossing swords with people!

You'd roll over and die! - Yes.
- Not complain! - No.

Know how you'll finish up?
- Yes.... - Like Don Falcuccio!
[N.B. Idiom referring to a fictional
priest, "between a rock and a hard place"]

Here.
- Here it is.

You're charging for the fish soup?
- You ordered it, didn't you?

Remove it, or we're not paying!

Who cares? Let's pay and get out of here.
- Here.

Stop playing the missionary!
- There are a hundred people..

..who have eaten it without complaint.

Can't you see that I know what's good?
- Ugh! Enough! - Cut it out!

What do you want?
Have you lost something?

No, don't pay! - What is it?
- She did not like the fish soup.

All right, there's no charge.
They can leave.

I've never let anyone give me anything!
Otello, pay! - Leave it!

Certainly not!
- I'm sorry, we don't have any change.

You don't have the change? - No.
- Leave it to me.

Waiter! - Here. Use the change to buy
some bicarbonate..

..for those who've eaten the soup!
- Miss!

Director, listen to me!
- Excuse me.

Now you've cost me 3,480 lire!
And you have that 10,000 lire note, no?

Are you planning on having it framed?

Please. - Come on!
- Two people at a time.

Let's get aboard!
- Aren't you scared?

Why? Haven't you seen how it flies slowly?
- Slowly, but it flies.

Then are you scared?
- Me? Yes!

Look!

Two.
- Coming up!

Don't you have anything smaller?
- Eh, no!

Go ahead. I'm sorry,
but I don't have the change.

In the meantime, I'll get your change.

When will I get it?
- When you return, don't worry.

What do you want? There's all these people!

Mario! Let's go!
- I'm sorry, don't you trust me?

Mario!
- Go on. Enjoy the ride! - Okay.

Two tickets.
- Coming up!

I don't have any change. I need change
for that gentleman on the ride now.

So?
- Wait a moment. Fattori!

Mario, are you feeling sick?
- No.

Listen!
- What's up?

Could you possibly let us off somewhere?
- What?

Land in Piazza Navona!
- You're crazy! - What a fool you are!

You're such a wimp!
Now we're flying! Don't be afraid, eh!

Here we are! Courage, we're landing!

Everything all right?

Mario!

Mario!

Anita!

Oh, God, God!

Do you feel so sick?
- Very much!

What do you want to do?
- My stomach! Let's go!

Damn it! He told me:
''you can bet your shirt!''.

I'll kill him! - No need to curse,
it's finished. What are you doing?

But where's Cotica? I'll give him a
mouthful - Calm down! - What happens?

One! Just one winner!

How much have you lost?
- Me? Nothing.

What do you mean, nothing? - I had 3,500
lire, here it is! I have it all here!

That's great! - Eh!
- Then we've only lost 1,000?

No. You no longer have the 10.

I know, but so what?
There are things you don't understand!

Oh, yes? And what don't I understand?

No, let's go!
- Okay!

Two for San Paolo.

Two for Rome.
- Don't you have anything smaller, please?

I'm sorry, no.

But this is a fake!
- But....

It's true! It's definitely a fake!
Only you could be so stupid!

Only you could try and pass a fake note!

My boyfriend is such a dummy!
- If you want to change....

Your boyfriend, not the note!
- Yes, I'll think about it.

Five tickets.

Take it.

How could it happen? Was it really fake?

Like you, you scoundrel!
This is what you amount to, eh?

I feel sick!

Here's the tunnel!

Stop the shrieking, eh?

Say, young man, stop!

Who do you think you're dealing with?
- He knew there was a tunnel!

Keep your hands to yourself!
- Idiot!

Get out of the way!
- How was I supposed to know?

Go play with the balloons!
For my part, you're not..

..exactly my dreamboat!
- Who do you think you are, Marlon Brando?

Run home to your mamma! - Who sent
you to us? - What a jerk!

I put 2,000 lire, look!
- Place your bets! - Here!

Find the one with the card!
The card is in the center!

No! - See if you can pick it!
- Yes? Then I'll try again.

Watch carefully,
the one with the ticket below wins.

To win, look closely!
The card wins, this one.

Lost because it's not the card. There!

3,000 lire! 3,000 lire!
- Let's see! Turn it over!

Do one more?
- No! - Will you turn it?

This is the one with the card!
- You could play too....

The one with the card below wins.

That's how you win.
The one with the card wins!

Can you change 10,000 lire?
- Okay, 10,000 to you.

Here: 1, 2, 3, 4,
10,000 to you! The money later!

Let me do this!
- When the game....

Police!

What? What's up? Boh!

How'd you do?
- Very good! For you, Ms Ines!

It's Shorty!
Maybe he did better than us!

Come on!
- You know who I changed it with?

Who? - The ones who play the three-card
trick! - Get out of here!

Let's see!
- Here you go!

So I see!

1, 2, 3....

We can buy 10 notes of 10,000..

..and have 100,000, okay?
- Why? And you?

It went badly! - What a black day!
Lots of minor bickering!

Aho! But these are fake!
- They're fake?

False, I'm telling you!
Look, I'll show you!

It's good! But....

Have a look at these, miss,
are they genuine or fake?

These wouldn't fool a child!

A child no, but they fooled a moron!
- Then you must be a real dumbass!

And now you realise?
- How could this happen? Damn!

Then, I'm....
then, I'm going to jump in the river!

What're you doing?
He'll really do it!

Don't worry, unfortunately he can swim!

I'm a wretch, good-for-nothing!

Spartaco! Spartaco!

Forget about it, eh? That sort of
thing can happen to anyone, can't it?

Yes, but you're the one who said
how stupid I am.

I didn't mean it, I meant that you
are perhaps a little naive.

Thank you.

Maria!
- What?

There are three girls, looking for Alvaro.
What do I do with them?

What do they want?
- I don't know. You want to hear them?

What do we say? Let's go tomorrow.

To Marce', but can we say that here?

I think so.
- What does it say about us!

Good morning.
- Good morning.

You want my husband?
- Yes.

Not him. We wanted to say....
- Maybe we'll come back tomorrow.

Hang on, who are you?
- You're Otello's fiancee, aren't you?

I was!
- I know you're Spartaco's sister.

Don't cry, leave it until later!
This is Mario's fiancee.

Fiancee....

Here is his mother and wife,
let's talk to them, right?

We want to tell her husband if he doesn't
leave those three alone, it'll end up badly.

He makes me laugh.
He should not go to the shop..

..and hurt my husband who
is a good man!

I can't stand it anymore! My father
is always beating me and Mario has ran off!

Otello disappeared for two days!
You have to tell your husband....

I can't tell him anything.
I can't speak to him..

..because he's left.
I don't see him anymore!

Ah, that's great!

Beh, madame, we apologise.

First you come here to pester her,
and now you want to apologise!

Are they children? Perhaps you should
tie them to the leg of the bed - Ma'!

Why don't you do the same to your
son-in-law, eh?

I'll kick you down the stairs!
- Who? - You!

Thank God I am a civilised person!

Ma', please! Madame, control your temper.
- I'm reasonable!

Wouldn't it better to know where they
are and what they're doing? - Yes.

I heard something from a cyclist.
- What did he say?

He'd seen my brother at Porta Portese.

He was buying four used hats.
- Four hats?

In July? What does he want with hats?

Shorty, go ahead and
keep an eye out.

If you find the guy, whistle.
We'll be back here, go!

???

Police!

Vice Squad,
let's see your documents.

I can testify for the lady.

You're a lawyer, doctor? - Yes!
And the lady is my fiancee.

Excuse us. You know, our duty.
- Please, officer, of course.

Good evening.
- Good evening.

What a nuisance! - On the other hand,
a little vigilance is needed.

It's necessary.

Nothing doing, eh?

What bad luck!
- What's that?

He was a lawyer.
Better to lose them than find them, eh?

Try to find a lawyer in the fishing season!

What was I to know?
Did he have lawyer's garb on?

There are lots of lawyers in Italy!
I would have to find one of them! - Beh...

Why are you here? Go and find a type!
- All right!

Come on, go!

What are you doing here?
- As we please! - What?

Excuse me, why can't one sit in a car
at Pincio at night?

Because they commit obscene acts with
dubious woman! - What?

Dubious your sister!
I'm his wife, understand?

You will be silent while I think on this!

It's not an excuse
to be lingering in our darkened streets..

..to be doing things you could be
doing at home, isn't that true?

I'm still going to write you a contravention!
- Write what you like! Go ahead!

I'm Commander Vincenzo Servadoi,
understand? Here. Write! Book me!

Write, officer.
- Write, write!

I'll write about it too! To the newspapers!
It's a disgrace!

This sort of thing doesn't happen in France!
No wonder people prefer it for tourism!

This doesn't finish here! You haven't
heard the last of this. Have you written it?

Yes.
- Here. Good. Thanks!

Honestly!
- Get in!

One comes here for ten
minutes for a quick chat..

..and this happens.... Better that we
get out of here before I say too much....

But They haven't heard the last of this!
They'll see who I am!

This one certainly seems a rough sort!

Stop everything! Police!

Oh!

What? - You know that it is forbidden
to kiss in public?

Qu'est-ce que vous dites? Je suis
desole. Je ne vous comprends pas.

Nous sommes Francais!
- Pardon.

Well?
- They were foreigners!

It's necessary to turn a blind eye,
otherwise, it's true,..

..that we will lose the tourists, no?
- Boys, we have to give up on this.

Here among lawyers, commanders and
and pilgrims, we aren't going to make a lira!

Aho! If you want to give up,
let's give up.

For I'm telling you that if we put our
hands on a couple like I mean,..

..maybe some big shot,
caught in adultery,..

..maybe 10, maybe 20! Then you'll see
100,000 lire to avoid a scandal!

Anyway....
- Look there!

Let's go here.
- No! It's dark.

Better, no? Come,
a moment alone! - No.

Yes! Come on!

Sssh!

This is it!
We'll catch them in flagrante!

They are respectable types!
- With those faces?

Why? What face is that?
- Sssh!

Act as lookout and don't be a pain!
- Shut up!

Quietly!

Stop everything!

Who are you? What do you want?
- Police! Vice Squad!

You are both violating the law, okay?

Leave the lady out of it!
- Are you looking for trouble? Your documents!

First identify yourselves!
- The documents!

Yours first!
- Enough of the chatter! Pay..

..the fine or we're taking in you
and the girl!

Let's go to the police station.
- Pay, it's better!

But what did I do to you?

Let's go to the police station!
- All right! Let's go!

Help! Help! Help!

Come on!
- Let go of me!

Give him a kicking!

Ahi!
- Help! Help! Help!

Three bandits!
They attacked us! Over there!

Get him, get him!
In the stomach!

Police!
Here's the police! Run! Run!

Stop or I shoot!

Stop!
- Stop!

''Article 628: robbery.
Anyone, who seeks to procure..

..or otherwise profit by violence or
threats, takes ownership..

..of the possessions of others is to
be punished with imprisonment of 3-10 years.

Write 7 years.

''The penalty is increased by a third,
if there is violence or threats..

..involving weapons or the person
is accompanied by other people''.

Write three.

Ah, here! This is better in our case.

''Article 630: Anyone who seizes
a person in order to secure..

..for themselves or for others
an unjust profit..

..is punishable by imprisonment of
8 to 15 years.

Put 10. No, wait a moment!

When there is aggravation by
criminal conspiracy,..

..it becomes 10 and 3, 13.

''Article 347: anyone impersonating
a public official or their related..

..functions is punishable by imprisonment
of 2 years.

How much does it add up to?
- 25, Lieutenant.

How old are you?
- 21.

21 and 25, 46.
And you? How old are you?

22.
- 22 and 25, 47. And you?

Eh...

I....
I....

Spartaco!
- Spartaco!

Despite investigations,
it has not been possible to find..

..the couple involved.
- There's more information.

At the Trastevere commissariat,
the boys have no previous record.

Perhaps it was all really just a prank.

I hope that's what it was.
We'll detain them until tomorrow.

Perhaps this will be a lesson to them.
- All right. - As you order, Lieutenant.

???

He goes to bathe in the river!
Goes to the cinema with his wife!

And we get 25 years!
- And shut up!

Let me think!
Let me think!

Here we go!

Well?
- The Lieutenant wants to believe..

..that it was just a prank!
- Ah! - Yes, but I don't believe it!

But I'm letting you go because I'm
sure you will be back.

And next time we will have the evidence
which unfortunately this time we are lacking.

Then you'll really be looking at 20 years!
- Thank you! - Out!

Maria? Coffee.

I've prepared bread and an omelette.
Do you want two figs? - No, thanks.

Bye.
- Aren't you going to say hello?

I don't want to see him.
- He's in really bad shape!

Last night he returned looking like....

He explained where he's been these last
two days. - Three, remember? Three!

He says he was in Velletri on business.
- And you believe him?

No, but he swore that he will change
his life.

Don't you get it! Is it the first time?
- You're right, but have you seen him?

It's easy to see that this time he means
it. Say hello to him.

I hope you're right.

I'll do it for you.

Ah, my goodness!
- Hello.

Oh, God it hurts!
- Bye.

Oh, mother of God!
- But what's he feeling?

He told me that he had a fall.

Then shouldn't we call the doctor?
- I don't know.

Who is it?
- It's Righetto!

Otello, Mario and Spartaco are free.
They're waiting for you under Cestio Bridge.

It's something urgent. - I'll get
dressed and come. Do you have a smoke?

I'm crazy to do business with you!
- Don't worry about it!

Spring is in the air! For your future,
think of Alvaro! - Imagine!

Guys!

How's it going?

Here we go!
- Otello! Hi, Mario!

Hi, lowlife!
- Shorty! How you doing?

???

This morning I went to the lawyer.
Anyway I have great news!

The accountant Omiccioli will be out.
- That's so good of you!

I said that Alvaro would never
abandon us. - You see!

You know that you're right? In jail
there was time to think about things!

Thanks! And you made it through the
night alone, otherwise, my dears....

think of me....
- Yes, of how you got us 25 years, huh?

Too bad, eh? - Why? And how did I
get you 25 years?

Remember the idea you had last night?
- Yes!

Take that!
- Swine!

Let him have it! Cuckold!
- Watch you don't trip!

Into the river!
- Let go of me!

Give him a dunking!
- Otello! Stop! Swine!

How brave! Three against one!
- I have an idea!

Go to hell!
- And your grandfather!

No! No!

No!

Have a good wash!
- The trouble is that he floats!

Assholes!

We're finished with your ideas!
- Cuckold!

I have an idea, me!

25 years isn't much?
- You should try it!

Raise the indicator and turn!
- Mind the bridge!

Look!
He's not drowning at all! Go under!

I'm very sorry! Please.
- Please, please.

After you, no, no.

Spartaco, where are you going?
- Here!

Spartaco! Where are you?

Hello!
- Hello, miss!

Ms Ines!
- What is it?

Who was that?
- Who was who?

That young man there!
- Ah, my fiance.

That lowlife?
- Why? Is he bad?

But I, you....
- I, you, what?

What, didn't you understand? - What had
I to understand? You never said anything to me.

But.... But I....
But I....

But now I'll throw myself in the river!

They're beautiful! All white!
- A nice gurnard, two shrimps.

An octopus. Look, it's still moving!
- Maybe the dogfish would be better.

The dogfish? Here, they fry up to
a lovely golden brown. Isn't that right?

Yes, that's right.

Look at this beauty! You want it all?
- No, No.

How many slices?
- We'll be six. Let's say three!

Then I'll slice it, eh? - No! Not
from the head. Very small. There.

But wo'nt that be too little?
- It's better, it's better.

Now I can cut it, eh?
- Wait! Uh! What a great shrimp!

And I could make rice with the shrimp?
- Yes, yes, yes.

Otello!

Otello, can I?

Today I haven't said it to anyone.

Okay!
- May I? - But not too loudly!

Madame!

Listen!
- Tell me!

What? - Yes!
Do as I said! Clear off!

What sort of manners?
- Believe me, clear off!

They're alive! They're alive!
- They're alive!

The sea comes to Rome!
Righe', bring us a little ice!

They're alive!
- They're alive!

They're alive!
- Fresh fish!

There are more people. - Good morning!
- Waiter! - Yes, coming. Yes!

Here's the wine!

Hello! Four?

Yes, yes, come on.

Old Anni', I can't take this anymore!

Do you want some high class joint?
Now work, no? Go, go!

Four carbonare and four rare fillets!
Hurry! - Okay.

I've had it, I can't do any more!
- There are now five more foreigners!

But is everyone coming here today?
- Go on, forward!

How many more are there?
- Are you so tired? Work!

Eh! Work!
- Alvaro! Look, here's your wife!

Take it, finish up!

It's a tough day!
You need four arms here!

Are you done? Can we go?
- Yes, now we can go.

We must go to Via Panama!

You have to come with us.
- Now?

If it wasn't for Alvaro, nothing
would get done.

What do you want? Its work, isn't it?
What time will you finish?

Go home, I'll call you!
- Okay. - Bye.

My wife is here!
Asking what we'll eat today?

Get to work, move it!
- Okay, we'll settle up later!

It's true: he who has powder shoots,
and he who has none..

..hears the barrels! Don't you realise that
they exploit us? - What're you saying?

Imagine if this truck were ours!
How much money could we make!

Eh, yes, but it isn't ours.
- And why, is it because we lack the..

..spirit of initiative.
- No! It's because we lack lire!

No, the lire can be found, Alvaro's telling
you. - Yes,..

So you say! And how do you find them?

How?
I have a great idea!