Road Show (1941) - full transcript

- Thank you.

How do you do?

How do you do?

- I never thought that
I'd live to see the day

that a girl could get Drogo Gaines,

with all his millions, to the altar.

- My Helen has done it.

- I'll believe it when I see it.

- My Helen is a very smart girl.

- My Agnes was in the running,
but what chance did she have,

when he never kept her out
after 10 o'clock at night.



- Well.

- Psst.

- What's the matter?

- Well come and see.

Look.

- Young man, what is all this nonsense?

Goodness, you better get a doctor quick.

- Yes, yes, of course.

Dr. Johnson, will you come in please?

- Yes, certainly, excuse me a minute.

- Listen to me, Drogo Gaines,

what do you think you're doing?

What's the matter with him?

- I think he's nuts.



- Here he is, Doctor.

- My goodness, we'd better
put him on the couch.

- All right.

- Lend me a hand.
- Okay, here we go.

- There appears to be no
fever, and the pulse is normal.

It must be a mental collapse.

I'll phone for some assistance.

- Hey, Drogo, come on,
wake up outta this thing.

- Well, what now?

- Well of all things to happen to me.

- Yeah, happen to you.

If you had married the dope two weeks ago,

we'd have had the 10 million

and we wouldn't care
whether he did go goofy.

- Ma, it's all your fault.

If you'd only let me
marry Jerry Vassleven.

He had plenty of dough,

and besides I might have
learned to love him.

- How did I know?

Look at all the money Drogo's got.

What are we gonna do?

We can't let those people
eat all that food and stuff.

Who's gonna pay for it?

You go out there and tell
them it's been postponed.

- All right.

- Are you all right?

- Oh yes, I'm all right.

- You mean to say that you
heard everything we said?

- Yes, but I didn't do
this for that reason.

I was afraid to go out there.

I realized what a momentous
step I was taking.

But now that I know where
your affections really are,

it's probably all for the best.

- All for the best, your
making a monkey outta me,

leaving me at the altar?

- I'm very sorry.

- Wait a minute.

Everybody in this house
thinks you're crazy.

Now listen to me, Drogo Gaines,
you're going to marry me

or they're going to think you're crazy

for the rest of your life.

- Oh, I don't understand, Helen,

how are you going to
influence those people--

- Let me go, let me go, let me go!

- Help, help, what are you doing?

- Mother, somebody get him, he's crazy!

Help, help!

Help me, he's gone violent.

Help!

- What's the matter, dear?

- My poor child.

- Good morning, Mr. G.

- Would you mind telling me where I am?

- The Hopedale Club.

- Hopedale Club?

I can't stay in a place like this.

- I'm sorry, Mr. G, I'll have to refer

your complaint to Dr. Thorndike.

Now eat your breakfast like a good boy.

- I don't want any breakfast.

- Please, Mr. G, you mustn't.

- Dr. Thorndike?

- Oh, pardon me, have you the time?

- I'm sorry, I haven't a watch.

- Here, take mine.

- But listen, I--

I wanna see Dr. Thorndike.

- Just have a seat.

- Okay, you're progressing splendidly.

Now drop in and see me anytime you like.

We're always glad to have you.

- Thank you, Doctor, thank you.

- Mr. N, do you mind if I
send Mr. G in ahead of you?

Not at all.

- Well, well, Mr. Gaines,
glad you dropped in.

We'll call you Mr. G here.

Are you feeling better?

- No I'm not.

I mean, I never felt bad.

- Now don't excite yourself.

- I'm not exciting myself, I
just wanna get out of here.

- Of course, they all do at first,

but you will soon learn to like us.

We like you.

- That's just dandy, Doc.

And I'm sure that you
and I and all the lads

would be come great chums,

but really, I've got to
get back to New York.

- What have you there, Mr. G?

- Oh that?

A man outside fastened a
flower that he didn't have

with a pin that isn't here.

- Would you mind letting
me have that again, please?

- Well that is, he thought he had a pin

that he put in a flower
that I haven't got.

Now look, I was just--

- I understand perfectly.

- Wait a minute.

A fellow simply gave me a flower.

- And a very pretty flower it is, too.

- Oh.

Look, Doctor, there's
nothing wrong with me.

- Of course there's nothing
wrong with you, Mr. G.

- Now, Doctor.

- Ooh.

Cute.

- Listen, Dr. Thorndike, I've had enough

of this foolishness,
you've got to let me go.

- Mr. Gaines, I hope you'll appreciate

my position in this matter.

I have no alternative but to keep you here

until your conduct improves.

- But listen.

- Now don't make it hard for yourself.

Finish dressing and go out in the sun.

We're allowing you the
full run of the grounds.

- Ah ah, ah ah.

- Oh I'm sorry, I didn't
know you were fishing.

- What did you think I was doing?

- Good fishing?

- Excellent.

- Caught many?

- Nope, never catch any.

- It's a sort of new idea
when it comes to fishing.

- Yes, you're brighter than I
thought you were, Mr. Gaines.

Sit down.

- Oh, you know me?

- Know all about you.

Carroway's my name,
Colonel Carleton Carroway.

You've heard of Carroway Seeds.

Well, I'm the whole corporation.

I didn't like the business,

so I came here on my own accord.

I like it here.

- I don't.

I'm going to escape.

- Oh not you're not.

The walls are too high.

Why'd you come here if
you don't wanna stay?

- I didn't come.

I pulled a little stunt in self-defense.

- Oh yes, that Newton girl.

While you were looking at her eyes,

she was looking at your checkbook.

- Well I didn't know.

And Agnes, she kissed you
when you bought her a yacht.

You'd have done better with a canoe.

And that Argentine
tomato, what was her name?

- Conchita Montezuma.

- You bought her bracelets
and called her angel.

And she said.

Sounded sweet, didn't it?

Just means sucker.

- You certainly know a lot.

- Yes, that's why I'm here.

- Tell me, Colonel.

How does a fellow know when
he's found the right girl?

- The signs.

- Signs?

- Yes.

- I don't understand.

- Now, supposing a girl, uh,

crossed her fingers,
and you crossed yours,

at the same time, that's a sign.

Oh, I've got it.

- What's the matter?

- Oh, I've caught a fish.

Well I'll never be able
to fish here anymore.

Come on, young Drogo.

- What are you gonna do now?

- Gonna photograph the
fish, everybody does that.

- Are you leaving, Colonel?

- Yes, this place is no
good, there's too many fish.

- Something I could do for you?

- No.

- Now this, Mr. G, is a Blooming Daisy.

- The what?

The Blooming Daisy,
probably the finest camera

ever invented by the human mind.

Now, don't let her frighten you

and don't ask how she works
or you'll spoil all the fun.

Now, take one step forward.

Two backward.

Just a mite forward.

- Now what are you playing?

- That's another invention of mine.

I never focus the camera.

Anyone can focus the camera, I focus you.

Now, are you ready?

Hold it, there you are.

That merely takes the photograph.

And now, we develop it.

Come in.

- Morning, Colonel.

- Morning, Harry, meet Mr. G.

- How do you do?

- How do you do?

- And now we shall see what we shall see.

We release the gadget here.

See what's in this thing.

And at last, the photograph,
and there you are.

- It's blank.

- Yes, that's the wonderful
thing about the Blooming Daisy.

You never can tell what's coming out.

Sometimes I get the most amazing pictures,

but not very often.

- Uncle Carleton, you're
gonna stay with me

at the country place.

Dr. Thorndike and I think
you'll be much happier there.

- Oh, well, Harry, I like it here.

- I know, but you've got
to leave here sometime.

You've been here long enough.

People are starting to ask
embarrassing questions.

- Aw, Harry.

- Not another word, I
know what's best for you.

You get your things together,

and I'll call for you in
the morning, understand?

- Yes.

- Well, goodbye.

Goodbye, Mr., uh.

- G.
- G.

- I hope you have fun
playing with your fish.

- I'm embarrassing him, that crackpot.

- He seemed all right to me.

- Oh he did, did he?

Come here.

Look at that.

- What's the matter with that?

He's a member of the fire department.

- That's just it, he isn't.

Well, most likely, the whole
thing's my fault anyway.

When he was a little lad, I bought him

a toy fire engine to play with,

said he wanted to be a fireman.

He never outgrew it.

He's been playing fireman ever since.

- Oh.

- Go to his country place?

Why the whole thing's nothing
but a big fire department.

He'll not get me up there.

I'll run away.

That's what I'll do, I'll escape.

- You said you couldn't escape.

- No I didn't, I said you couldn't.

Didn't say I couldn't.

If I had enough money to
finance the Blooming Daisy,

I'd escape tonight.

- I have $120.

- $120, say, say, that's enough to put

the Blooming Daisy on a paying basis.

- The Blooming Daisy
won't even take a picture.

- Sh, you know that, and I know that,

but the people we
photograph wouldn't know it.

Now look, you meet me at
the woods near the river

at nine o'clock tonight.

Boy, we'll hit the open road.

We'll meet people, real people,

not the money-grabbing kind.

Don't forget to bring the money.

- Yoo hoo.

What kept you so long?

- The fool guard didn't show up in time.

Couldn't escape unless
the guard was there,

wouldn't be strategic.

Here, take that pole and
knock those rocks off.

The equipment's there.

- What for?

- The boat of course,
we've gotta launch her.

I knew this life would
be too good to last,

so I plotted this escape years ago.

- You call this thing a boat?

- Stop all that fiddle faddle
and get this stuff onboard.

There you are.

Here.

Now, give me a hand.

All ashore that's going ashore!

- Sh.
- Sh.

- How far do you expect
to get in this thing?

- Who wants to get far?

We just wanna get.

Heave ho, hardy.

Low bridge.

- Have Mr. Gaines sent
to my office right away.

- Thank you, Dr. Thorndike.

As Mr. Gaines' secretary,
I can assure you,

there's absolutely nothing wrong with him.

- As his fiancee, I can
assure you that there is.

- This whole thing is preposterous.

I demand that he be released at once.

- And I demand that he be kept here.

- Dr. Thorndike?
- Yes.

- Mr. Gaines has escaped.

- Escaped?
- Escaped?

- Yes, and so has Colonel Carroway.

- This is terrible.

- Hello, Miss White?

Miss White, notify the police.

Mr. Gaines and the Colonel have escaped.

- Fine night for sailing,
the sea's as smooth as glass.

- We're not at sea, we're
in the middle of the river.

And my feet are getting wet.

- Well a little saltwater
never hurt anybody.

- That's not saltwater.

- I never said it was.

I made a statement, and I'll stick by it.

A little saltwater never hurt anybody.

- Oh, you're impossible.

And this raft's impossible.

It's probably sinking.

It'd serve us right if we both drown.

I never should have listened
to you in the first place.

- Oh, playing the coward, eh?

Why, this silly river's so shallow

you could wade ashore at any time.

- It is?

I'm going to wade.

This must be the wrong river.

Silly old river's shallow, huh?

Well, you must
have hit an air pocket.

- What's that?

Waterfall.

- Waterfall?

Give me that thing or we'll go over.

- That's a silly statement.

People don't go over falls in rafts.

They only go over in barrels.

- Oh stop that drivel and give me a hand!

- Well, that was a snappy halt.

- Yeah, I nearly broke my neck.

- Well, all's well that ends well.

- Say, what's the idea of throwing things

and destroying people's property?

- I'll have you know, Madame,
that I have just perpetrated

the most magnificent escape in my long

and brilliant record of achievement.

- Escape?

So that's it, eh?

I might have known.

- Now that you know, would you mind

telling me how to get to a telephone?

- Listen, you're not going anywhere

till you pay for what you broke.

And a case of Kewpie
dolls costs nine bucks.

- Well, here's $20, keep the change.

- I said nine bucks, no more and no less.

- That's the smallest I've got.

You mean you don't want the extra money?

- No, why should I?

- Oh what a girl.

- Come on, come on, pay up
or I'll call the police.

I have nothing smaller
than a 20.

- Say, you're soaking wet.

- Sure, I've been wading.

- Here you are, my lad.

Change into something of mine.

I always carry extra equipment.

- Aw no, I'm all right.

- Now go ahead, we can't
carry on with sick troops,

you know, you can change behind the car.

- Make it snappy.

Say, uh, what's he done?

- It isn't what he's done,
gal, it's what he might do.

His instincts, you know, are all bad.

He's been a terrible trial to me,

and I've done the best that I could.

If he but had the love of a good woman,

someone to bring out
the finer things in him,

to restore his self-respect,

then again he could
become a man among men.

- Oh, ho!

Moore's Carnival.

- Yeah, Penguin Moore, that's me.

- You own this?

- Yeah, the whole works.

- Bright lights, music, the
gay, pleasure-mad throngs.

- What throngs?

- Merely a figure of speech, my girl,

merely a figure of speech.

- Ladies and gentlemen,
right over this way.

- Come on, fellas.

Why hello, Penguin,
glad to see you're back.

- Hi, Alice.

You got change for a 20?

- Are they still making those things?

It won't make you fat, it'll
make you thin, come on.

♪ Yum, yum you're so delicious ♪

♪ You're sweeter than angel cake ♪

♪ I'll bet an even baker's dozen ♪

♪ That every bee that's buzzin' ♪

♪ Tells a pretty flower
you're his long-lost cousin ♪

♪ When you promise me kisses ♪

♪ The filling in my sweet tooth aches ♪

♪ Because your lips are more enticing ♪

♪ Than Grandma's chocolate icing ♪

♪ Yum, yum, yum ♪

♪ I keep a pantry full
of sugar and spice ♪

♪ Strawberry jam and everything nice ♪

♪ But what could be much sweeter ♪

♪ Than someone like yourself ♪

♪ You belong on my top shelf ♪

♪ Yum, yum, you're so delicious ♪

♪ You're sweeter than an angel cake ♪

♪ I'll bet an even baker's dozen ♪

♪ That every bee that's buzzin' ♪

♪ Tells a pretty flower
you're his long-lost cousin ♪

♪ When you promise me kisses, ♪

♪ The filling in my sweet tooth aches ♪

♪ Because your lips are more enticing ♪

♪ Than Grandma's chocolate icing ♪

♪ Yum, yum, yum ♪

- Sh, you are the first lucky lady

to get the dollar portrait for 25 cents.

Right down that way, lady, to your left.

As soon as we get change for
the $20, we're on our way.

- Now listen, young lady,
I been waiting long enough.

Either you give me $120
or this show is attached.

- Now patience, Sheriff, patience.

I do not like to be
rushed while I am bathing.

In fact, I like to soak.

- After 47 minutes, you
oughta be waterlogged.

Oh, you come right out
of there, young lady,

or I'm going to come over
there and pull you out.

- Why, Sheriff, please, after a--

What's going on here?

- I was waiting for the head of this here

show to get out of the shower.

- Well I'm the head of the show.

- Oh, you are?

You blew Brownsville last
night owing money to several

citizens of our community
for use of the lot,

gas, electricity, water.

Matter of fact, you
didn't pay for nothing.

- Just a minute, Sheriff.

What is the attachment on this show?

- $120.

- $120.

Well there's your hundred,
and here's your 20,

now thank you very much, Sheriff.

That fixes up everything.

- Wait a minute, Mister.

I never ask anyone to pay
off anything on my show.

- Who said I was paying
off anything on the show?

I merely wanna buy the photographic

concession for the Colonel.

- You mean you wanna pay
120 bucks so the Colonel

can use that Blooming Daisy around here?

- That's right.

- Well let me tell you,
Mister, it ain't worth it.

- It's worth a lot more than that to me.

Now goodbye, Miss Moore,
and thank you very much.

- Say, not a bad guy.

And cute too.

- Well, goodbye, Colonel.

And lots of luck with the Blooming Daisy.

- Where you going?

- Back to New York, of course.

- That's my suit you've got on.

- Oh, it is, well I'll
send it back to you.

- Which one of you is Penguin Moore?

- I am, why?

- Well, I'm Clem Prouty,
owner of this lot,

and I want that 20 bucks rent money

in advance that you promised me.

- Well, say, can't you
give us a little while?

- Nothing doing, I'll
give you just 10 minutes

to get the money, and either
you put up or pack up.

And I'll be waiting right here.

- Wait a minute.

I'll get 20 bucks from
these yokels for my Indian

remedy if it's the last act of my life.

- Now where do you think you're going?

- Well with you, of course.

Nowhere else to go now that my source

of livelihood's been cut off.

What a pity.

And for the lack of only $20.

- I never saw such a mess.

There must be some way to make $20.

- Say, I've got another
attachment on the Blooming Daisy

that I saved for just such an emergency.

Now you put one here,
one here and one here.

- Well I'll try anything once.

- Here you are, young lady,
take care of my bag for me.

- Sure, Bud.

- Beg your pardon, Stranger.

You look like an intelligent person,

one who'd be interested in
making a little easy money.

- Sure, who's gonna learn me?

- I am, but in order to
accomplish this feet, I shall have

to secure a portion of your chewing gum.

- What good's gum gonna do you?

- That's the secret, I've made
hundreds of dollars that way.

Now, we attach the little
pea to the chewing gum,

we attach both to the
interior this shell, like so.

Follow me, Stranger, I'll
show you how it works.

Well, well, well, the shell game, eh?

The object of this game is to find out

which shell the little pea is under.

I've had a lot of
experience along that line.

Say, your shoelace is untied, young fella.

Tell you what I'll do, young man.

I'll bet you $20 that I can tell you

where the little pea is.

- I'll be you 20 too.

- 20's all I want, 20's the limit.

- Wait a minute, take your
money back, it was my idea.

- Oh no you don't, I
had my money up first.

- You are unfair, sir, no good in fact.

- Just a minute, just a minute.

Say, young fella, didn't I
have my money down first?

- Yes, I guess you did.

That gives you the first
chance to play, sorry, Mister.

- Why it's an outrage!

Money won that way'll do you no good.

- Now, gentlemen, which
shell hides the little pea?

- That one.
- That one.

- It ain't there.
- No.

- Too bad, gentlemen, too bad.

Better luck next time.

- It's amazing, the man must be a wizard.

I'm glad I didn't bet any of my own money.

- And there you are, ladies and gentlemen,

the great Indian Princess
Yo-Yo in the flesh.

She speaks not a word of
anything but her native tongue.

Now she brings this tonic to you

from the sands of the desert,

the rocks of the mountains,
the land of the mighty red man.

Now you've never seen a sick Indian.

They're all big, strong,
mighty men of nature,

and why are they all
big, strong, mighty men?

Because they use Princess
Yo-Yo's Indian tonic exclusively.

And now, my good people,
this wonderful remedy

is worth $5 a bottle, but we're not going

to charge you $5, oh no.

Nor $2, nor $1, no sir.

You're going to buy this
wonderful tonic for just 25 cents.

And because of the great
affection the princess has

for the people of this
community, with every two-bit

purchase, we're going to give you a bow,

made by the princess'
own brother, Eagle Beak.

Now you say to yourself,

what will I do with just a bow?

Well, we'll tell you.

With every 25-cent purchase
of the Princess Yo-Yo's tonic,

we're going to throw in an arrow,

so that you have the tonic,
and the bow and arrow,

all for the trifling sum of 25 cents.

Come on now, folks, step up
and get that first bottle.

Don't miss this amazing opportunity to buy

this great tonic for 25 cents a bottle,

or five bottles for $1.

Let me just take one bottle
and pass it down among you.

Just pull the cork out of that,
my friend, and take a smell.

And don't forget, ladies
and gentlemen, that you get

a bow and an arrow free
with this purchase.

- Miss Jinx, here's the $20 you need.

Would you mind keeping an eye

on the Colonel's camera for me?

- Why sure.

- Thank you.

- Okay.

And now, folks, step right up

and get your bottle.

- Oh, Colonel, where's he going?

- He thinks he's going to New York.

- Here's the constable now.

- I'm constable.

- Constable, there's your man right there,

and I'm as guilty as he is.

- You come along with me too then.

- You can't filch me outta
money, you city slickers.

- First, you make me look
ridiculous with that fish.

Then, you almost drown me
on that silly raft of yours.

Next, we become entangled
with a broken-down carnival.

And you get a bright idea
on how to acquire $20

and we land in jail.

If you'd kept your mouth shut,

I woulda been on my way
to New York right now.

Are you
sure you told that girl

to take good care of the Blooming Daisy?

- A couple of tough fellas,
they put up a great struggle,

but I took them, single-handed.

Nobody ever gets away from me.

Gee Hossafatts.

I told you they was desperate.

They musta dynamited.

- This looks like an outside job.

- Do you realize we've broken the law

in leaving the jail in that manner?

- Well, let's go back, maybe
you can think of a better way.

- Miss Moore's liable to get
herself in serious trouble.

If we're caught, she'll
be as guilty as we are.

- Don't think she doesn't know it.

She's one of those regular people

I've been telling you about.

Let it go.

- Ah, howdy, Colonel.

Well hello,
girls, how are you?

- Jinx?
- Yeah.

- Take him in with you.

The cops might be here any minute.

You know what to do.

- Right.

- You come with me.

- Miss Moore, don't you think--

- Don't argue, come on.

- Miss Moore.

If you get a chance to talk with him,

keep your fingers
crossed for me, will you?

- Okay, Colonel.

- She sure isn't giving herself

the worst of the deal, is she?

- Come on, Snapshot
Willie, give me a hand.

Welcome home.

- Now, make yourself at home.

- Oh, thanks.

Miss Moore, I want you
to know that I appreciate

what you've done for us.

- Oh, skip it.

You got my show out of a jam,
and I got you out of one.

Have a piece of pie.

- Thank you.

Do you always put salt on your apple pie?

- Sure, why?

- I put salt on mine too.

- So what?

- Miss Moore, don't you think
that could be sort of a sign?

- Sure it is.

It's a sign we both like
salt on our apple pie.

You know, you're not a bad-looking guy.

You talk like you been to school and

you're the kind of a fella
that any girl might fall for.

The only thing wrong, though,
is your instincts are all bad.

- My instincts?

- Yeah, they're kinda
crooked if you ask me.

- Why, Miss Moore, I want you to know

that my business integrity
has never been questioned.

- Aw, stop talking like a
gentleman of circumstance.

- You mean you don't like
gentlemen of circumstance?

- I should say not.

Gentleman is just a polite
word for loafer, if you ask me.

Aw, why don't you get an
honest job and go to work?

You might make something outta yourself.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

- You did it!

- Did what?

- You crossed your fingers.

- So what?

- Miss Moore, that is a sign.

- Wait a minute, what
is this sign language?

- Well, when a boy and a girl both cr--

What's that?

- It ain't the curfew.

This is it, Moore's Carnival.

- All right, Sheriff, you go
that way, I'll go this way.

We'll search every truck.

- Right.

- Get down.

- What?
- Get down.

- Come in.

What do you mean by breaking
in on a lady's privacy?

- I'm looking for a
couple of jail breakers.

There ain't no privacy when
desperate criminals is at large.

I have every reason to believe

they're right with this carnival.

- Well you don't think I'd
have them in here, do you?

- You never can tell.

Pardon,
ladies, but I'm looking

for a couple of fugitives.

- Fugitives?

- Mm, only if you find anybody,

save the prettiest one for me, will you?

- Very funny.

- Well, any success?

- No, not a trace of them.

- What do we do now?

- I think we'd better get to a telephone

and notify every sheriff in the state.

- Good idea.

- Excuse me, Sheriff, I'd like
to suggest my remaining here

and keeping an eye open, just in case.

- That'd be all right with me.

- Thank you, sir.

- Boy, that was close.

Okay, Colonel, how you feel?

- Goodnight, he's stuck.

- Oh don't worry, we can
always use him for a camshaft.

- Get me out of this.

- Oh, don't let it get you down, Colonel.

I had an uncle who was that way for years.

He got it from looking through keyholes.

Now relax!

That's it, here, here, hold him.

Relax, you're too tense, come on.

That's it, there you are.

Here, that's it, straighten up.

Now, how you feel?

- Oh, fine.

- You sure?

- Ooh, fine.

- I have to get a phone right there.

- Miss Moore, I've caused
you a lot of trouble,

and I'd like to be of some help.

If there's anything I can do.

- Sure you can be a help.

As a roustabout for this
show, you probably won't be

worth your salt, but at
least it's an honest job.

Go back and tell the girls to come up here

and you bunk with the Colonel.

- A roustabout?

- Yeah, a roustabout.

- Thank you.

- Hold it, tie it, swing it, hit it.

Hold it, tie it, swing it, hit it.

Hold it, tie it, swing it, hit it.

♪ Swing it, hit it, pull it, tie it ♪

♪ Swing it, hit it, pull it, tie it ♪

♪ Swing it, hit it, pull it, tie it ♪

♪ Bop bobba doop dop ♪

♪ Whoa, Calliope Jane, ♪

♪ Put on your bonnet and bloop again ♪

♪ For when you go bloop bloop ♪

♪ I'm happy as the livelong day ♪

♪ You're the talk of the town ♪

♪ Calliope Jane, put on your
bonnet and bloop again ♪

♪ For when you go bloop bloop ♪

♪ You bloop all my cares away ♪

♪ Last week I broke in
a derby named Giger ♪

♪ Said he could tame a cat ♪

♪ Just then I brought home a tiger ♪

♪ The tiger now holds the guy's hat ♪

♪ So Calliope Jane ♪

♪ Put on your bonnet and bloop again ♪

♪ For when you go bloop bloop ♪

♪ You bloop all my cares away ♪

♪ Bloop bloop bloop
bloop bloop bloop bloop ♪

♪ Bloop bloop bloop
bloop bloop bloop bloop ♪

♪ Bloop bloop bloop
bloop bloop bloop bloop ♪

♪ Oh oh oh ♪

♪ Calliope Jane, Calliope Jane ♪

♪ Put on your bonnet and bloop again ♪

♪ Bloop bloop ♪

♪ Happy as the livelong day ♪

♪ Whoa ho ho. ♪

♪ Calliope Jane ♪

♪ Calliope Jane put on your
bonnet and bloop again ♪

♪ Bloop bloop bloop all my cares away ♪

♪ Last week a derby named Giger
said he could tame a cat ♪

♪ Just when I brought
the old tiger around ♪

♪ The tiger holds the hat ♪

♪ Put on your old sunbonnet ♪

♪ While we swing this sonnet ♪

♪ When you bloop you bloop
you bloop my cares away ♪

- Good morning, gentlemen.
- Good morning.

- Ready for breakfast?

- Ho ho, breakfast, serve it right here.

- No hurry, we usually work a little

around here before we eat.

- Work?

- Yeah, put those on.

- I protest, I'm a concessionaire
with this carnival,

and I wear what I please.

- I don't care how you dress,

so long as you pound those tent stakes.

- A little work never hurt anybody.

- Good morning, Miss Moore.

- Oh hi ya, Joe.

- Miss Moore, I've had a pretty good offer

from the Jones show, it
isn't that I wanna leave,

but I have a wife and
kid back in Connecticut.

- I understand, Joe, I don't blame you.

The pay's been a little slow, but

well, we'll get along all right.

I'll send you back pay as soon
as we have a few good days.

- Oh, forget it, anytime.

- Oh, troopers nothing,
if I could ever get paid

I'd quit this dump in a minute.

- What are you crabbing about?

- Crabbing? She hasn't
paid me a dime in months.

- Don't you ever think of
anything else besides money?

Why don't you try smiling once in a while?

You know, ha ha ha, laugh and
the world laughs with you.

- Oh, baloney.

- Oh, why don't you try being like me?

- That's too much.

- Very funny.

But at least I like everybody
and I'm a little happy.

You every seen anyb-

Oh come now, wait, let's not
go through all this again.

We have enough trouble.

Come on.

Uh, aw, not wait a minute,
let's get this thing straight.

You see, I'm really not an Indian.

Only kidding with that Yo-Yo
stuff, you know, just kidding.

In fact, I was born in Brooklyn.

You know Brooklyn?

- Mr. Gaines?
- Oh good morning, Stanhope.

- Good morning to you, sir.

I've been dreadfully worried about you.

A man of your position in
an environment of this kind.

- Don't worry about me, I'm all right.

- Well I'm glad to hear that.

Is there something I can do for you, sir?

- No, nothing at all.

- Well if you're not too busy,

you can try pounding some stakes for me.

- No, Colonel, that would never do.

Just stay around in the
background, I'll see you later.

- Yes, sir.

- Come on, Colonel.

- Oh ho, what an invigorating morning.

I'm ready for an order of scrambled eggs,

a ration of bacon and
a huge pot of coffee.

- All right, you guys, start
pounding this row of stakes

and that row of stakes over
there, then you can eat.

- I protest, I'm a concessionaire.

- So am I a concessionaire,
but we pound stakes

around here before we eat.

- I said that I would--

- I said pound that stake.

- Yes, sir.

- Say, just a minute.

- What's on your mind?

- How would you like to be the head man

in the best carnival in the world?

- Who wouldn't?

- How much would it cost?

- About 200 grand.

- I'd like to have you pick one up for me.

- Wouldn't you like a nice,
new electric train set too?

- No, wait a minute, you don't understand.

Stanhope.

- Where would a punk
like you get 200 grand?

- Yes, sir.
- A blank check, please.

- Yes, sir.

- I want you to accompany this gentleman.

You're going to buy a carnival.

- A carnival, sir?

- Yes, just fill this check
in for any amount necessary.

I want the very best, do you understand?

Yes, Mr. Gaines.

- Say, listen, if this
check bounces back on me,

I'm gonna bounce right back on you.

- I beg your pardon, you're
speaking about Mr. Gaines.

We never have check trouble.

Now if you'll just come with
me, we'll attend to everything.

- Hey, this is all over my
head, I don't understand this.

- Let me know when it's ready.

Yes, sir.

- Take care of your own stake.

I'm having trouble enough with this one.

You pound this row, I'll
pound the other one.

- Okay.

That's good.

Okay.

Okay, boys.

- Hey, Colonel, come on
over and help with these.

- You'll do no such thing.

You're doing a fine job, Colonel,

your stakes are all done.

You go ahead and have breakfast.

- Thank you, Miss Moore, thank you.

- Good morning, Miss Moore.

- You can't even pound a few stakes

without hollering for help, huh?

- I didn't mean--

- You notice the Colonel
finished all of his, don't you?

- Well, yes, but he--

- Don't interrupt.

Look, you pound these
stakes before breakfast,

and if you can't do that, well,

you just be right on your way.

Hi, Officer, hope you
like our show this year.

- All right, can that.

As sheriff of this town,
I order you to pack up

your troupe and get moving.

And the sooner the better.

- But why?

- Well I got word from
the last town that you hit

that you're carrying a
couple of crooks with you,

so come on, get going.

- On now look, Sheriff, there's--

- I said get going.

- Okay.

All right, boys, pack it up.

- I beg your pardon, Sheriff,
but I believe if you'll give

me a moment I can straighten out

this little misunderstanding.

- Can that stuff.

- Oh no no, I wanna present you

with a portrait to take home to your wife.

- Oh, well, that sounds all right.

- There you are, just stand right there,

not too far away here,
while I extend the lens.

Turn the little wheel

and pull the bulb, are you ready?

Hold it, that's it.

I've had great success with
these family portraits.

If you'll bear with me just a moment

as we go through the
developing process here.

And pull the little string here.

I believe I'll show you something

that your wife's going
to be very happy about.

- So you're a fresh guy, huh?

Now you grab that thing and get outta town

before I run you in.

♪ Swing it, hit it, pull it, tie it ♪

♪ Swing it, hit it, pull it, tie it ♪

♪ Swing it, hit it, pull it, tie it ♪

♪ Bop bobba doop dop ♪

♪ Calliope Jane put on your
bonnet and bloop again ♪

- I hope the new carnival will be

the finest thing on wheels.

I wanna make Penguin really happy.

- Now listen, young Drogo,
your idea of romance

is a yacht here, a bracelet there,

an Irving coat thrown in
and now a new carnival.

Why, you're just a checkbook lover.

Don't you know by this time
that this girl is different?

- All together now, push, that's it!

That's gonna do you no good in the mud.

Get up outta the mud there, young Drogo.

We can't have this kind of thing.

- Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

- Hey, you're getting
to be an expert at this.

- Oh, thanks.

- Matter of fact, you've
been doing so well lately

that I've decided to
promote you to a better job.

- That's great.

What's it going to be?

- Here's your new
outfit, put it on tonight

and you'll understand.

- Oh, no, you again.

- How.

- Listen, for the last
time, I am not an Indian.

Hey, what is this?

Oh no, look, no comic valentines,
now go away, I'm busy.

- Colonel, I can't go out there like this.

- Why not? You look beautiful.

- That's just the trouble.

- Now, ladies and gentlemen, the featured

free attraction of the show.

The world's greatest aerial artiste.

The one and only Miss Penguin Moore,

assisted by Gavin Cavalerro.

- No, I, I can't.

- Take off your robe.

- Ladies and gentlemen, I--

Oh, okay, Officer, we'll be on our way.

- But listen, girl, can't you see your way

to give him another chance?

- You saw what happened tonight, Colonel.

I gave him a chance, and he just doesn't

belong in show business.

- Oh ho, that's funny.

- What's funny about that?

- Doesn't belong in show business.

Well, I don't suppose you
ever heard of the Great Drogo.

- The Great Drogo?

- The feature act of every
show he ever played in.

- Drogo?

Drogo?

Aerialist?

- Hm-mm.

- Drogo?

Equestrian?

- Hm-mm.

- Well, there was a Rogo,

Rogo's lion act.

Or was it Drogo?

Drogo's lions, was that it?

- I didn't say it, girl, now
remember I didn't tell you.

- Why.

Drogo's lions, that was the greatest act

that ever played under the big top.

- Well, I can see it now.

London, Paris, Vienna,
the applause of thousands.

- What made him give it up?

- What's that?

Oh, there he stood, night after night,

with guns in his hands.

Then came a time when the
animals weren't enough.

Oh, forget the past.

He'll come back, girl, he'll come back.

- I feel like a fool, Colonel.

Imagine me making him pound stakes

in a silly two-by-four show like this.

Making out like I was the big shot.

I gotta talk to him, Colonel.

- Drogo, come here.

- Oh I'm very busy, Miss Moore.

- I wanna talk to you.

- Miss Moore, I want you
to know that I'm sorry

about what happened in your act.

I'll try to make up for
it in any way I can.

- Oh forget about it,
Drogo, and stop tiring

yourself out with the stuff around here.

- That's very nice of you, Miss Moore.

I didn't ever expect you
to speak to me again.

- Don't talk like that, Drogo.

You make me feel so foolish.

To think I've been making you pound stakes

and do things around here
that any kid could do.

- I wanna learn all I can and help.

- You're going to.

You're gonna go right back
to the top where you belong.

You won't get in with the
wrong people this time,

because I'll take the guns
out of your hands every night.

- Guns?

That's certainly nice of you,
Miss Moore, but I don't--

- Now you don't have to say anything.

I know we're gonna get along
swell together from now on.

- Colonel, what do you think?

- What?

- Miss Moore just spoke to me

and forgave me for what I did to her act.

She was so sweet I can't get over it.

She said we'd get along swell together.

- Certainly, you'll get
along swell together.

Why shouldn't two great showmen
get along swell together?

- What do you mean?

I don't know anything
about the show business.

- I know you don't and you
know you don't, but, uh.

- But what?

- Well, I told her you
were a great showman.

- Oh, Colonel, why did you
tell her a thing like that?

- Well you're an imposter, aren't you?

Better to be a good
imposter than a bad one?

- What kind of a showman
did you tell her I was?

- Well I told her you were a lion tamer.

- A li--, a li--

Colonel, come back here.

Why did you tell her that?

- Well there are no lions with this show.

- No.

- Well what have you got to worry about?

♪ You bloop all my cares away. ♪

- Oh, boys, put this stuff
in the truck over there.

Willie, you come with me.

- Yes, ma'am.

♪ Said he could tame a cat ♪

♪ Just then along came a tiger ♪

♪ The tiger now holds the guy's hat ♪

♪ Calliope Jane ♪

- Now take that.

Here, come here.

You sit right down here and
stay outta my way, I'm busy.

♪ Bloop bloop bloop bloop bloop bloop ♪

Look, stay there and don't move.

- Glad to see you, Penguin, how are you?

- Oh fine, sorry to get
you up at this hour.

- Oh, that's all right.

- We couldn't sleep anyway,
what's on your mind?

- Well I got a spot in
my show for your lions.

Still got them, haven't you?

- Sure, there they are, come on.

- I got the best lion
trainer in the business.

How about letting me take them

and at the end of the season we'll split?

- Well it's okay with me
if it's okay with Moe.

- It's okay with me, Joe.

Matter of fact, I'm glad you came.

We were just talking about
turning them over to the zoo.

Business has been so bad
we can't even feed them.

Take a peek.

- They don't look underfed to me.

- Me either.

In fact, they look powerful healthy.

- There's nothing to worry about.

All you gotta do is follow
the instructions in this book.

Gives you their names, the
tricks they do and everything.

- That's swell.

There you are, Willie,
read it over carefully.

From now on, you're taking care of them.

Come on, let's go.

- Okay, we'll give you a hand.

- You mean?

I guess she do.

Nealo, Rollo.

Nealo?

Nealo?

Nealo, Rollo.

That did it.

- Good morning, Miss Moore.

- Good morning, Drogo.

- I think you ought to know
that what the Colonel said was--

- Aw, don't blame him.

I'm happy to know that you're one of us.

- Well I certainly do wanna be one of us.

- There's something I want you to have.

Belonged to my dad.

He was a lion trainer, too.

- Oh, thanks.

- Drogo?

I want you to know how I feel about you

seeing as we're both showmen.

I liked you from the
start, but that was as far

as it could ever go because,

well, I had no idea you were my kind.

- Miss Moore, I think you
ought to know the truth.

- Nevermind, it's what's
going to happen that counts.

- I'll certainly do my best.

- You haven't any scratches on you.

Didn't the lions ever
claw you or jump you?

- To tell the truth, they never did.

- Gosh, you must have been great.

Wouldn't you like to take
up where you left off,

cracking the whip and
hearing the applause?

Wouldn't you do it for me?

- I guess I'd do just
about anything for you.

- Well, here they are.

Not much after what you've
had, but it's a beginning.

- They're lions.

- Don't expect too much of them,

because they haven't been
worked in quite a while.

- Is you gonna train them lions?

- Uh-uh.

- Aw, it's no use, Colonel,
I can't go through with it.

- Now don't be silly.

Now look, you're a
millionaire, aren't you?

- What's that got to do with it?

- Everything, why you'd
be the first millionaire

lion tamer in the world.

Think of the honor.

Besides, I'm sure that
nothing will happen to you.

Those lions are easy to work
with, aren't they, Willie?

- That's what it says here.

- There, you see?

Now look, I'm going to show you once more.

You need have no fear.

Why, no lion has ever been
known to pass a chair.

Now, you advance boldly.

Chair in one hand, and whip in the other.

- Uh-oh.

- All right, ladies and gentlemen,
step up and buy yourself

a ticket to the greatest
thrill of your life.

Thank you.

Fearless Drogo, the one and only,

the world's greatest lion tamer,

is going to face one
of the most ferocious--

- Jinx, how's it going?

- Oh couldn't be better.

Step right up, ladies and
gentlemen, here you are.

- Did you get the smelling salts?

- Yes.

- The bandages?
- Yes.

- The iodine?
- Yes.

- I forgot something.

- What?

- I forgot to feed them.

- Sh.

What's the matter, boy?

- Colonel, I can't go through with it.

- Well you love her, don't you?

All you've got to do is to
remember what I told you.

When you get in that cage,
keep jabbing with that chair

and cross with your whip.

Listen to them, boy, listen, what a crowd.

- Can't hold them much longer,
they're waiting for you.

- The lions?

- No, the people, silly.

Gosh, you look wonderful.

Now go on out there and knock them cold.

Tell me, Colonel, is he thrilled?

- Thrilled is not the word for it, girl.

He's trembling, with anticipation.

- You wanna go in there?

- No, no, I've got a better idea.

Hey, Hup, Texas, Hero, Cesar.

Hup, Cesar.

- What's he trying to do, Colonel?

He's working the cats from the outside.

- Yeah.

Well, you wouldn't expect the Great Drogo

to do the usual thing.

Anybody can work lions
from the inside of a cage.

What a man, he's working
them from the outside.

- That may be swell, Colonel,

but I don't think these
yokels understand that.

I'll tell him to do it the easy way.

Drogo, I think you better
do it the regular way.

- I can do it fine from out here.

- I know, but these
people don't understand.

I think you better work on the inside.

Okay, folks, everything'll
be fine in just a minute.

Oh, this would have to happen to me.

- What's going to happen to you?

- Can't you see, the rain
is gonna ruin the act?

We can't put it on.

Willie, put them away.

- Yes, ma'am.

- It's just a little shower,
it's gonna be all right.

All right, here.

- How am I gonna get back to my trailer.

- There you are.

- That was sweet of you, JoJo.

- Aw, don't mention it.

Did you do that on purpose?

- What do you think?

Did you do that?

- You figure it out.

- Why you, you!

- Now wait a minute, if you
hadn't let your stupid instincts

get the better of you, all
this wouldn't have happened.

- And after all I've done for you.

Why, for two pence, I'd.

- Aw, you poor kid, nevermind.

Someday you'll have a fine new carnival.

- I don't want a new carnival.

All I want is good business for this one.

- You mean you don't want a new carnival?

- No.

♪ I should have known you years ago ♪

♪ Where on Earth were you ♪

♪ Those years ago ♪

♪ I missed so much ♪

♪ And dreamed so little ♪

♪ Before you set my heart aglow ♪

♪ I should have known the way you smile ♪

♪ As I traveled each long, lonely mile ♪

♪ Our Memory Lane should be much sweeter ♪

♪ If I had known you all the while ♪

♪ Oh I'm so jealous ♪

♪ Of the flowers in spring ♪

♪ For they know more than I about you ♪

♪ They heard your laughter ♪

♪ And the songs you sing ♪

♪ Through all the years I spent ♪

♪ Without you ♪

♪ I wish that I could ♪

♪ Truly say ♪

♪ That I knew you long before today ♪

♪ But we'll go on ♪

♪ From here together ♪

♪ And I shall love you ♪

♪ All the way ♪

- Wonderful girl, Penguin.

Real, sincere,

different.

- Yes, the others are all
alike, but she's different.

I know, my boy, I know.

Love is like hash.

You've got to have
confidence in it to enjoy it.

That must have been Bob Hope.

Well, go to sleep, my boy, or are you?

- Good morning, sirs.

Oh yes, sir, Mr. Newton.

- Oh, Mr. Whitman.

- Yes, Bates, what is it?

- Begging your pardon, sir,

but I'm afraid we have
gypsies on the grounds.

- Gypsies?

Well, Bates, do something.

Get rid of them right away.

- Yes, sir, right away, sir.

- Wait a minute, Bates.

Do you speak Gypsy?

- Oh no, sir.

- Nevermind, I'll go myself.

Order the chief's car right away.

- Yes, sir.

- Come on, boys.

Hurry, hurry, hurry, come this way!

Hear all about the big
surprise I promised you.

- The what?
- Surprise, huh?

- Come on, everybody.

This way, everybody.

Sh, sh, sh.

Now listen, boys and girls.

I told you I'd bring you
to the land of plenty.

Well, here it is.

Why the food lies on the
ground for the taking.

- Did you say food?

- Right, groceries, grub, vittles.

Now some of you go that way and pick

the berries from the vines.

The peas, beans, cabbages and
other vegetables are that way.

Let your stomachs be your guide, be gone.

And the watermelons are that way.

Oh, Willie.

Yes, Mr. Colonel.

- And the chicken house is over there.

- Chicken house?
- Uh-huh.

- What am I waiting for?
- I don't know.

- Me either, tally ho.

- Say, Joe, what's the
idea of pitching here?

- Colonel's orders.

- Colonel's orders?

- Well what are we gonna get
for customers here, field mice?

- Quiet, quiet, ain't no use of squawking.

We all gotta go someday.

It's either gonna be you or
me, and it ain't gonna be me.

- Take your time, take
your time, don't rush me.

- The man's right.

- Thank you.

- You welcome, now will you
fix the fowls please, first?

- Say, Red, where'd you get these?

- Well the Colonel told us we could pick

anything we wanted to.

- Oh he did, eh?

Well I'm still giving
orders around here, I think.

- Okay, boys, you heard
the boss, break it up.

- Get this stuff outta here.

- Yes'm, Miss Moore,
but the Colonel said--

- I don't care what the Colonel said.

We're not taking anything
that doesn't belong to us.

Now put it back where you got it.

- Yeah, and make it snappy

or we'll all be thrown in the clink.

- Sound like we're
practically in the clink.

- All right, fellas, get rid of it quick.

- All right, you heard the boss.

Get rid of it, come on, put a move on.

What's going on around here?

That's it, get going, come on, get going.

Well, well.

- It's a shame to have to
put back these tender birds.

- Are they very tender?

- Mm-hmm.

- Hmm.

It would be kind of a shame, wouldn't it?

In that box, come on.

Be careful, but hurry.

Come on, get it going.

Now sit down, right there, that's it.

Now, act nonchalant.

- What do you mean trespassing
on private property?

- Now, don't get excited,
Mister, you've got us all wrong.

- Oh have I?

- Mm-hmm.

- Well then, I'm very sorry.

- You see, I'm Penguin Moore,
and this is my carnival.

We got lost last night and wound up here.

We didn't know it was your property.

But we didn't take anything.

- Well if you didn't take anything,

I guess there's no harm done.

You've got quite a lot here.

- Would you like to look around?

- Oh, I'd love to, do you mind?

- Oh not at all.

There's a pin game over there.

- I hate pins.

- Here's a merry-go-round.

- Oh, it makes me dizzy.

- We've got a lot of
other things here that--

- What's this contraption?

- Oh, this is a taffy machine.

Would you like to see it work?

- Oh may I?

- Okay, Bob, I'll take care of it.

- Okay, Miss Moore.

- Mechanical devices intrigue me.

- Here's the switch here, you see,

and you pull it down,

the machine goes around
with the taffy on it.

- Uh-oh.

- Hmm, what'll they think of next?

- The most interesting part's
down there where the motor is.

- You're right, it's a dandy.

My favorite gear ratio, 15 to one.

Did you see what I saw?

- Why, did you see something?

- Let's forget it.

♪ The farmer's in the dell ♪

♪ The farmer's in the dell ♪

♪ Hey 99, boop boop a doop,
the farmer's in the dell ♪

♪ The farmer's in the dell ♪

♪ Farmer's in the dell ♪

- Oh, you said you
didn't take anything, eh?

♪ The farmer's in the dell ♪

Drop that food, thief.

- Thief?

- Uncle Carleton, it's you.

- Why certainly it's
me, who did you expect?

- I can't tell you how
happy I am to see you.

I've been quite worried.

- Well, Harry, your worries are over.

Come over here, I want you
to meet a friend of mine.

Oh, Penguin.

This is my nephew, Harry Whitman.

I'm one of his poor relations.

- How do you do?

Oh we've met.

- Good, then we can get down to business.

How many weekend guests have you?

- We have a whole house full.

There's the Van Swiggens,
the Mortons, the Dumonts.

- That's enough.

- The Grahams.

- I said that's enough.

Have them all come down here,
I guarantee they'll have

a better time than they've
had in days, weeks, years.

- If it's that good, I'll tell them.

- Gangway.

Tell them not to forget their wallets.

Give me that sign, Son.

- Yes, sir.

- That's it, now go right
ahead with your work.

I've got a little piece
of business to do here.

♪ They'll never know
the difference ♪

♪ Ten cents to a dollar ♪

♪ They'll never know the difference ♪

♪ Wait til you hear them holler ♪

- Well our troubles are over.

Happy days are here again.

- Don't you think you've
raised the prices too much?

- Too much?

Why these people couldn't have a good time

unless they paid too much.

All right, boys, go to work.

- Hurry, hurry, hurry.

Step right up, play
ball, wherever you are.

Hurry, hurry, hurry, play ball.

Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.

Oh, the little lady won
again, she won again.

How is that?

Now two steps forward please.

Two steps backward.

Now another one forward.

Get away from me, Son, you're annoying me.

- Colonel, it's me.

- Well, Penguin, hello.

- How's business?

- Marvelous.

Well, how did that happen?

Nevermind, step right this way folks

and we'll go through
the developing process.

There you are.

Pass this through the little
nail, turn the little handle

and the photograph drops
in the little tank.

There's a charming portrait of yourself

and family, and the price is $5.

- But it's blank.

- That may surprise you,
but it doesn't surprise me.

The price remains the same.

Thank you, do you mind
getting out of the way please?

How about that man over there?

There's a whole lotta taffy there.

- Having fun?

- Oh yes, and I appreciate you
letting me run the machine.

- Oh, that's all right.

Say, you can sell the
taffy too, if you like.

- May I? I'd be delighted.

Toffee, toffee.

What do you
mean we ain't got none here?

- The paddles are still
three for a dollar.

- A dollar, what, a
dollar for a 10-cent game.

- Oh, Bob, come with me.

- Anybody else?

Toffee, toffee.

- Listen, buddy, you don't
have to get tough with me.

- Who's getting tough?

- Just a minute, I'm sorry, boys,

but we're putting the show
on for a private party.

I'll have to ask you to leave.

- Oh be nice, baby.

You wouldn't want us to go now, would you?

- Oh, so it's one of those things.

Okay, do it the hard way.

- That's all I wanted to know.

- All right, just a minute, wait a minute.

You ain't heard the last of this.

- On your way.

- Here you are, ladies and gentlemen,

three strikes, one dollar, one dollar.

1,300, you can do better
than that, Mister.

Try it again, come on.

Three strikes for a dollar, folks.

- You'll never do it that way, Mister.

Stand back and I'll show you.

No muscles needed.

- Amazing.

- Introducing, the one,
the only, Fearless Drogo,

daredevil of the arena.

- Fearless Drogo, huh?

- It couldn't be.

I wonder.

- Excuse me.

- Think of it, folks, a mere $2.50.

Here we go, folks,
don't rush, don't crowd.

Hurry, hurry, hurry.

Come on, folks, and see
one of the best shows

you ever saw in your life.

- Get in there now and give
them everything you've got.

- Listen, Penguin, you don't
know this, but I really--

- No buts, this is your
chance to get back on top,

and you're gonna take it.

- But I can--

- Hope everything goes all right.

- Hello.

Steady boy.

- Says here, when a lion
gets mad, he ripples up.

He's mad.

- Well, well, Mr. Drogo
Gaines the millionaire playboy

is more cuckoo than I thought he was.

- Hey, Boss, that ain't in the book.

Look out, Mr. Drogo, here comes a lion.

A lion can run 40 miles an hour.

Sorry I read that.

- I told you I'd lead you
to the land of plenty.

- Willie?
- Yes'm.

- Get that lion back in the
cage before it scares someone.

- Put what lion in whose
cage before it scares who?

- Racing here, racing
there, nowhere to go.

What's going on in there?

- A lion's loose.

- Lion?

- If I'm gonna hunt for lions,
I gotta get me some bait.

Chasing lions all the time.

He ain't there.

Kitty, kitty, sure hope I don't find him.

Miss Moore sure gonna be mad

that lion chasing all them people.

Kitty, kitty, kitty.

Wonder where that lion is.

I pert near caught him that time.

I gotta be more careful.

My blood pressure won't stand it.

Kitty, kitty, kitty.

Kitty, kitty.

Oh oh.

Kitty, kitty.

Come on, nice baloney, come on, kitty.

Kitty, kitty, nice baloney.

Get in there.

Was that me talking?

- All right, folks,
everything's taken care of.

Nothing to worry about.

- Toffee toffee, toffee
toffee, dollar a bag.

- Dollar a bag, we don't want no toffee.

Come on, boys.

- Toffee toffee, it's awfully good.

- Angry mob.

Angry mob.

Angry mob.

- Angry mob.
- Angry mob.

- Hi ya, beautiful.

- Now listen, I told you
we're putting the show on

for a private party.

- Well this is my private
party, how about it, boys?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Wait a minute, you
heard what the lady said.

Now get going.

- Oh glamor boy, huh?

- Hey, fellas!

Let's work this joint.

- Oh, they ain't playing.

- Toffee toffee.

Oh dear dear, this is special.

Toffee toffee.

Oh dear dear dear.

- Penguin, about that lion act.

- Skip it.

- You don't understand.

- I understand more than you think I do.

- Take cover, lads.

Now is the time for all good men

to come to the aid of their party.

Don't shoot, boys, ooh.

Big bottles, eh, well come on.

- Sorry, kid!

- Oh.

- Ah, a bull's-eye.

- Here here.

- Captain Drogo, reinforcements.

- Set.

Go!

That's good shooting, Orville.

Okay, you take the high
road and I'll take the low.

- Psst, Mr. Gaines.

- What's on your mind?

- I been looking all over for you.

I got the new carnival
parked in Portersville.

What shall I do with it?

- Go back and take care of it.

I'll get in touch with you later.

- Yes, sir.

- The situation is rolling.

A bull's-eye.

- Ow!

Out!

- Hey!

Help, help!

Help me!

- Let her go!

- Stand clear, stand clear!

- Oh, you've had enough, huh?

Sorry, Chief, sorry.

Hey, victory is ours, ha ha.

- Victory is ours, but
my circus is ruined.

- Well don't let that worry you.

My rich nephew will pay for everything.

Oh, Harry, Harry, where are you?

- Here I am.

Oh.

Pardon my appearance.

Say, it's quite a disarray here.

Well nevermind, I'll
have everything fixed.

- There are you, what more can you ask?

- Meantime, let's celebrate by coming up

to my house and having dinner.

- Oh, I'd be delighted, but
I haven't a thing to wear.

- Tut tut, the house is full of clothes.

May I?

- Why certainly.

- An awful predicament.

The new carnival's over at Portersville.

What am I going to do?

- New carnival?
- Yes.

- Good, good, now you run
along with the rest of them

and leave everything to me.

- Yeah, but I've got--

- Go right ahead now, don't you worry.

Say, George.

- Yes, Colonel.

- Do you still burn the
barn down every weekend?

- Yes, sir.

- Tonight?

- Nine o'clock sharp.

- Fine, fine!

Hey, boys, come here, quick.

Hey, hey, hey.

Now wait a minute, I want
you to wrap up this carnival

and put it in that big barn
down the road about half a mile.

Then I want you to all
go over to Portersville.

There's a new carnival over
there, bigger and better.

I want you to help set it up.

Now come on, get going.

- Say, hello.

- Penguin, you're beautiful.

- Well, I'm charmed, Miss Moore.

- Dinner is served, sir.

- Thank you, Bates.

Right this way, everyone,
for the victory dinner.

♪ Tell the pretty flower
your his long-lost cousin ♪

♪ When you promise me kisses ♪

♪ The filling in my sweet tooth aches ♪

- Oh no, keep your hands off that chair.

I've had that one pulled on me before.

- As you wish, Madame.

- Thanks,

- You know, I'm awfully happy

that they have chicken tonight.

I never eat anything but chicken.

That's water.

One, two, three, four.

A four-legged chicken.

That's cute, a four-legged
chicken.

- Three-legged chicken.

- A three-legged chicken,
there's a novelty,

a three-legged chicken.

What's the idea?

- Oh, you wouldn't like
that, that's no good.

- Well here we are, back to normal again.

That's kinda muscular, isn't it, huh?

- It's nearly nine o'clock, sir.

- Oh, so it is, Bates.

Shuffled well?

- Yes, sir.

- All right, everyone, let's
hurry with the usual drawing

for positions on the firetrucks,

to see who the lucky people are.

Will you draw, Uncle Carleton?

- Yes.

Mine's a blank.

- Better luck next time.

- I drive the chemical truck.

- That's nice.

I'll just
ride along with Mr. Gaines.

- Why, Colonel, this is not a blank.

You too ride on the chemical wagon.

- By the way, Harry, what
are you burning tonight?

- The same old barn.

- Oh, that's terrible.

- What's the matter, Uncle Carleton.

- How was I to know that you're still

burning the same old barn.

In order to save the
carnival from the hoodlums,

I had the boys hide it in the barn.

- You mean the carnival's on fire?

- I mean exactly that.

- My carnival.

- Don't you think I oughta
be doing the driving?

- Don't be silly, I been pushing
trucks around all my life.

- Tally ho.

Certainly is exhilarating.

- Where is the fire?

- Nevermind the fire,
we're not going there.

- What do you mean?

- Keep going straight
ahead, and we'll lead them

into Portersville and the new carnival.

- What about the fire?

- You told me to get rid of
her carnival, didn't you?

Maybe when she sees the new
one she'll forget the old one.

- Oh.

- Low bridge!

- Take it easy.

Oh, stop it.

Somebody's going to be
hurt, and it'll be me.

Hey.

Move over.

Hey!

- Get off the road, that's not fair.

- Ah!

Oh!

Hey, let's move it.

Please, fellas, please.

Oh now, what'll I do?

Hey!

- Pretty tricky.

- Hey, get me outta here!

- Do something, get her down.

- Oh yes.

- Hey!

- Well, here we are.

Gaze upon it, it's beautiful,

wonderful and all for the love of a girl.

The World's Fair on Wheels.

I couldn't have picked
a better one myself.

- Aw, it's beautiful, Moore and Gaines.

That's you and me.

Do you really mean it?

- Yes, for keeps.

- Boy, a lollapalooza.

Well, so long.

Hey, maybe you got something there.